Episode XXX

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

You're hanging out with Bob and Brad. Two guys with too many moods, too many takes, and not nearly enough facts. Welcome to Bob and Brad. Perpetually wrong. Welcome everybody. We are back in studio here at the B Zommer Trucking Studios. Um very, very special episode today because it is what?

SPEAKER_01 0:26

30. XXX. 30. My tri favorite kind of movie.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

Yeah. But it's not that kind of an episode, so don't get too excited.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

I'm not wearing any pants.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

Well, you weren't supposed to say that. It's also Kentucky Derby Week. It is.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Saturday, they hit the uh track.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

Track. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

Yeah. Um I was going to say course, but that's not right.

SPEAKER_02 0:50

You got any horses you're pulling for?

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Oh, I was thinking, uh, yeah, I got them all pulled up here because I knew you'd ask. And to be honest with you, gotta get to my list here. I am thinking. That hurts. Everybody's gonna go for Renegade. Well, yeah, because he's got the best odds. Yeah. So I kinda like the idea of Golden Temple. Oh, I like that one. I gotta look at the horse though. If it doesn't have the blonde blonde mane, uh-huh. I'm out.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

What's that got doing anything? Golden Temple, you should have. Oh, I'm sure it probably does.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

Well, look it up. Um Incredible. He sounds kind of fast.

SPEAKER_02 1:27

Yeah. Um Is that like Mr. Incredible, but Incredible? Bolt? Like a bolt of the colour.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

Like he's just bolting.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

Oh. There he goes. Holy shit, that motherfucker's fast. Turn left. Um they chase a rabbit around the track? They chase anything. What is it that I think they chase something around the track?

SPEAKER_01 1:43

I thought they were just trained. I know dogs chase uh them tall dogs. Yeah. Greyhounds. Greyhounds, yeah. Yeah. They chase a rabbit.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Yes, they do. I used to spend time down at the Greyhound track. Although no animals in Florida.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

I think we're wrong. I think they changed it because that was cruelty to animals.

SPEAKER_02 1:59

Well, they used to chase rabbits.

SPEAKER_01 2:01

Yes. Um I don't know, horse chases anything or not.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

Actually, I think at the dog track that I used to go to, I think it was just like it looked like a rabbit, but it was on a track on the inside. Yeah, on the outside, right? And it just and it just was motorized and went around.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

But the dogs they run straight, they don't run.

SPEAKER_02 2:17

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Oh, if I'm a dog.

SPEAKER_02 2:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

Here's my rabbit.

SPEAKER_02 2:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

I got ten dogs between me and that rabbit.

SPEAKER_02 2:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

As soon as that rabbit starts moving, I'm running this way. Towards the rabbit. But they stay pretty straight, don't they?

SPEAKER_02 2:35

No, they they they all hug the shorter distance. Gotta go.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

Do they?

SPEAKER_02 2:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:39

I've never been to a dog race.

SPEAKER_02 2:41

Oh, I used to go there all the time. It was fun.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

Did you win?

SPEAKER_02 2:43

Ever? I only bet like two and three bucks at a time. It was cheap. I whatever. Just something to pass the time and have fun. And it was right there local.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

So best horse races were over there. When they closed, uh swart Oh, yeah. Yeah, because they said dollar days, dollar bets, dollar hot dogs, dollar beers.

SPEAKER_02 3:01

Never been to that.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

Well, you're not going now.

SPEAKER_02 3:03

No, no.

SPEAKER_01 3:05

I wanted to, but I was big car parking lot now, right?

SPEAKER_02 3:08

I haven't been by it in so long, I'm not even sure.

SPEAKER_01 3:11

Dilapidated, I'll tell you that.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

Yeah. Yeah, it's it it was years ago.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

You pulling for any of them?

SPEAKER_02 3:19

Well, I got my on old six speed.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

Six speed in actual gear, you think it's just a one-to-one ratio fucking overdrive.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

I just hope I hope he's fast as fuck because he's fifty to one odds, so it ain't real good.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

Now fifty to one odds. Yeah. You put five dollars down, you win two fifty if he wins. Is that how that works?

SPEAKER_02 3:41

I'm not super positive.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

Because I know horse races have play, show, and win, right? Yes. Win and play show. Yes. Yeah. And you gotta pick your horse for you can't just say a top three, right?

SPEAKER_02 3:53

Or you can do the trifecta and get the top three.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

Oh, you can. Yeah. But then you gotta pick three. Correct. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:00

Yep. But I got six speed and the puma.

SPEAKER_01 4:05

Between the two, I think I'd go with six speed.

SPEAKER_02 4:07

The puma's ten to one odds. Six speed's fifty to one odds. But I'm more of a I like to cheer for an underdog. Underdog? Yeah. I like underdogs. I'm putting my money on six speed. And that motherfucker better find a seventh one. Better find it.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

Tell him to launch in second. He's in first. He's gonna be behind. Yep. And then the odds, they change as we get closer to race day. I'm not sure. You know, six speed catches a cold. Yeah. Or gonorrhea in the horse barn. You think they bring a woman around for them? They do for the NFL.

SPEAKER_02 4:42

Get them amped up, you should.

SPEAKER_01 4:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

You don't want them out there.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

Have that horse with the big old fucking meat curtains just hanging out of it like that. Get it, make it quiver, put a little smell on it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:55

You don't want to run with a hard one.

SPEAKER_02 4:57

The winner gets this, boys.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

Ooh. Not a pre-race thing.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

Yeah. Whoever wins gets it. That's how I would do it.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

I want something pre-race. Well, if right now, if I took off and I ran to that fucking woodline and I came back. Yeah. And then I fucked, and then I ran to that woodline and come back. I'm gonna be slower. Seven seconds faster. No, no, no, slower. Oh no, because that's if I do it in the morning, you should see my day. That ain't a bad day. Yeah. Brad, you're at work early, yeah. You know, don't you feel better, or do you just kind of feel like No, I definitely in the morning makes you feel I I I'll agree with you.

SPEAKER_02 5:38

Peps your day up.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

It's better than an ass.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

But I doesn't mean I'm gonna get to work faster.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

I do, oddly enough. Yeah. So got the yoga instructor stopping by. She gives some to me to get me out of the house early.

SPEAKER_02 5:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:51

We do have a little sad news today.

SPEAKER_01 5:54

Oh, a country legend.

SPEAKER_02 5:56

A legend.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

I can only tell you one song that he sung, though.

SPEAKER_02 6:01

Well, it's probably not appropriate for the music? I I don't say his name yet.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

We gotta keep it.

SPEAKER_02 6:08

I can't say the name of the songs by names, but I do know a lot of his songs. And he was a big song writer before he was ever singing, too.

SPEAKER_01 6:19

So yeah, he's uh I'm gonna agree with you on that. I I do know a lot more like if you played it.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

Oh, if it was I could sing right along with it. But uh um to to just name that oh that's that's this song or that's that song. I don't I've never been good at that. No. On names or bands of you know who did who sings this? Fuck, I don't know. I know the song. I don't didn't know who it is. They did good at two box bingo though. I thought it was team event, but you did pretty good. Oh yeah, very sad day.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Let me hold on, let me check USA today. Okay, it has been announced. Okay. So you can say it now. We don't want to be the first.

SPEAKER_02 6:56

We we lost a very big country music legend, David Allan Coe.

SPEAKER_01 7:02

Um what he died from.

SPEAKER_02 7:04

That I do not know. Uh probably he was in bad shape for quite a while. So he um when I went and saw him in concert, he uh Oh, you actually saw him? Yeah, he actually he came out like in a wheelchair and then got up on stage and sat down.

SPEAKER_01 7:20

How long ago was that?

SPEAKER_02 7:22

That had to be seven, eight years ago.

SPEAKER_01 7:28

Any idea how old he is? No.

SPEAKER_02 7:30

I mean, he's old. All right, so I don't have a lot of information.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

So, okay. We don't really can't name his songs. Yep. We don't know how old he is. We don't know what he died from. We just know he died, okay, Brad. Jesus Christ. The people are looking for like, oh my god, I didn't hear that. What'd he die from? Well, look at them now. You know what they're doing? They're getting off of the podcast to go look at Facebook. I failed. I'm sorry. No, I'm not saying you failed. Jesus Christ, everything I touch is fucking. I'm just saying what you always say. Do better. Well, fuck you. About that. I yeah. Um tell you Hulk Hogan died from a heart attack.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:14

Yep, 71 years old. Blonde hair, not much here. Um, still got 24 pythons, brother!

SPEAKER_02 8:22

Oh yeah. No, that's that's Rain Savage.

SPEAKER_01 8:25

Yeah, that one. Yeah, 24-inch arms, though. That's big stuff. That's bigger. Yeah. What's Lucas' waist? He's an 11-year-old boy. I don't know. 28, maybe. No, not that big.

SPEAKER_02 8:35

He's probably 15 inch, 16 inch.

SPEAKER_01 8:39

We should go dig him up and see if we can hide Lucas behind the fucking 24-inch bike phones. See I bet you could.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

The old Hawkomania run wild on you, brother.

SPEAKER_01 8:50

Some big fucking arms. Yeah. Yeah. I bet my thigh ain't even 24 inches. Well, and we gotta get a tape measure.

SPEAKER_02 8:56

Maybe the maybe the 24 inches was a little embellished. Well, because that's some big ass ones.

SPEAKER_01 9:01

You saw him pick up the giant.

SPEAKER_02 9:03

Andre the Giant, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

No. Andre was known to be over 400 pounds.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

Hul Hogan told the story in 1983 or 93, whatever that year was. Oh, he's 450 pounds. Hulkan, fast forward to 2025. Hulkan tells the story, and oh, the giant was 600. He kept adding weight to him.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

Oh, he's one of those guys.

SPEAKER_01 9:25

Yeah. Showboat.

SPEAKER_02 9:26

The fish was this big. Big. Yeah. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

But that's a good show you should watch too.

SPEAKER_02 9:33

What is it?

SPEAKER_01 9:34

Hulk.

SPEAKER_02 9:35

The documentary? Yeah. Oh.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

It's on Netflix.

SPEAKER_02 9:37

I'll have to check it out.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

It's four episodes, so you're going to put some time in.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

That's worth it.

SPEAKER_01 9:41

Wife cried at the end of the fourth episode.

unknown 9:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:44

Kid got a little teary-eyed. You know, we watched three episodes in one night and had to invite everybody back over to watch the other one. I hate them fucking phone calls. I know. I know. It's fascinating. You know how many phone calls I get phone numbers I got blocked? Yeah. And they just keep getting more numbers.

SPEAKER_02 9:58

Well, they get a different number. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 10:01

When are we going to run out? We're going to have to get another area code. So yeah. That's sad news. People die every day. Yeah. At least you saw him before he died. That's what they say. Yeah. Yep. Did he die in bed at home? Amongst family and friends that loved him. Don't even know that. Fuck no one. You're really letting me down, Bob.

SPEAKER_02 10:23

Jesus Christ. I have I only heard about it from somebody else.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

I'm going to reach over here, hit eject, and we'll start all over. Holy nice. Jeez out.

SPEAKER_02 10:34

I bust my ass all day.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

But did you see it anywhere else?

SPEAKER_02 10:37

No. I heard about it. That's it.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

Okay, so. It could be fake news. I'm standing in front of you at 7-Eleven, got my quarter-pound chili dog. Uh-huh. Extra cheese. That's how I like it. And I turn around and there's Bob. And I say. Are you Bob from Bob and Brad? Well, that's usually how it starts, isn't it? Yeah. Um I don't know. I can't. Sometimes I have a hard time thinking of names right off the draw. Uh perpetually wrong and dementia, too. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_02 11:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

Um, Roseanne Barr died. You just start telling people Roseanne died? No, I know. You're spreading false information. I don't know where this ends. Well. How about that $5 regular gas? What are you paying for diesel now? There.

SPEAKER_02 11:23

I saw it for six today. Six dollars.

SPEAKER_01 11:25

Thanks for joining us for our weekly fuel update.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

Yeah. Six dollars? 36 gallon tank. I don't even know how many gallons it holds.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

I'd be afraid to find out now.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

I'm financially embarrassed every time I pull the diesel pump.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

Fuck. Yeah. I had a three-quarters of a tank left last night, and I looked at the gas station I was at, and it was 429. I wheeled right over there. Wife said, You better fill that up. That's 70 cents I saved per gallon.

SPEAKER_02 11:55

I've got an update for you. Oh yeah. David Allan Coe was 86 years old. So he was up there in age.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

My grandma could have babysat him.

SPEAKER_02 12:05

His hits were you never even called me by my name.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

With the extra verse is so much better.

SPEAKER_02 12:12

Yes. And take this job and shove it.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

Shove it. I remember when Roscoe Pico trained told Boss Hog that, and then they played. He was on that show. Do you remember that episode?

SPEAKER_02 12:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

That's a good one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:25

Yep. He uh There's no official cause of death.

SPEAKER_01 12:30

Sounds like murder.

SPEAKER_02 12:32

No. Jesus. He wrote hits for artists like Johnny Paychak. Tanya Tucker. Tanya Tucker? Tanya. Tanya. Really? Yeah. It's T-A-N-Y-A, so I'd call that Tanya. Tanya. Tanya Tucker. Um. Yeah, so I don't have much more than that. But he was 86.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

When I die, if I'm before you, make sure there's a cause of death.

SPEAKER_02 13:02

I will. I will. It'll be stress.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

Probably stress induced. Stress from work.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

And then we're gonna sue him.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

No flowers.

SPEAKER_02 13:10

What do you want?

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Uh anything but flowers. Save your money.

SPEAKER_02 13:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

Buy around.

SPEAKER_02 13:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

Yeah. Yeah. Trish has strict orders, jeans, flannel, unless it's summer, then t-shirt. Put me in the box. She can burn me later if she wants to, because it's cheaper. But I want to be in the box. Back of uh you got an eight-foot bed.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

No.

SPEAKER_01 13:33

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 13:34

But I can get one.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

You know somebody that's got one? Yeah. Okay. Back of an eight-foot box, because I want the door shut. I don't want to fall out and embarrass the whole fucking fleet. I've seen you strap things down, I'm not sure. So I'm gonna go on a twenty-two-mile back roading adventure. Longest funeral procession ever in Michigan.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

I'll make that happen.

SPEAKER_01 13:57

Everybody's drinking. Then we finish up at a bar. You can leave me in the truck. I'd rather bring you in. Had me more fun. Stand me up, open the door. Uncle Bernie. Or weekend at Bernie's or whatever. And then if she needs to burn me, eh fucking whatever. I don't care at that point. But I'd like to back her a little bit. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 14:18

I'll be in charge of that.

SPEAKER_01 14:19

Thank you. Yeah. Well, we'll see how you do June 6th. You wrangle up all that traffic.

SPEAKER_02 14:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:27

Speaking of June 6th, um, I got thinking. And I want to get one of those 360 cameras. Like you can mount it on the bike and it'll take view of 360. And it'll uh you know, we can put together some content for the ride. For when it's all done, we can, you know, put up a nice, nice YouTube video and you know what?

SPEAKER_01 14:54

We know a lot of people that know a lot of things about cameras. Yeah. Uh God.

SPEAKER_02 15:00

And I I did a quick search for 'em. You can go from here to here with them. Yeah. And GoPro makes one, some other companies are making. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

Stop me when we don't want to go any lower than this.

SPEAKER_02 15:15

I don't know. I haven't researched them yet. So hopefully somebody listening has knowledge of them. Hey, I bought this, it's alright, but I wish it was better.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

It only does 350 degrees. Right.

SPEAKER_02 15:28

Or, hey, I bought this one, it's badass. It was expensive. Probably don't need to spend that much money on one.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

Or yeah, it was expensive. It works well. You get cutting edge footage. Right. Um Is there any chance that I could donate this to you and Brad?

SPEAKER_02 15:50

Oh, I was like a little support. My God. Huh. Well, you know, I got somebody in mind that I think could do that.

SPEAKER_01 15:59

Let me guess.

SPEAKER_02 16:00

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 16:01

Is he younger than us?

SPEAKER_02 16:03

Yes. They too.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

They. Oh. Yeah. Younger than us. Do they mow yards? They do.

SPEAKER_02 16:09

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

Does one have a super hot girlfriend and the other one's forever single? Yes. My God. I think I know who they might be.

SPEAKER_02 16:18

Who do you think it is?

SPEAKER_01 16:19

I'm guessing Ashton and Justin.

SPEAKER_02 16:21

Yes. And it would be a little sponsorship from HL Outdoor Services.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

Right there on the website.

SPEAKER_02 16:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

People will be calling you to mow your yard. And you know what? It's supposed to rain Monday through Thursday, so that's plenty of shopping time.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

Yeah. Go right over to Best Buy, pick it up. Yeah. Drop it off.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

With a 30 pack.

SPEAKER_02 16:43

Yeah. Bushlight.

SPEAKER_01 16:45

Yeah. Then we can hang out, get into our new device.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

Yeah. Huh. It'll it'll really bring out the um content.

SPEAKER_01 16:57

I can better mount that to my chest and show you how wild she gets when she's got twenty white claws in her versus four. Yeah. Perfect. Content.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

And I I guess too, while I think it would be right up the rally, is Hoogie did promise us that he'd make us big if we started doing video.

SPEAKER_01 17:19

With the Samoans, not the Somalians. Yes. Thank you, Jason Witt.

SPEAKER_02 17:23

So I think that um Hoogie ought to go over and get that camera for us and help us blow up with videos that was his suggestion.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

Open box is fine.

SPEAKER_02 17:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:37

As long as there's a manual.

SPEAKER_02 17:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

Because you like reading how things work.

SPEAKER_02 17:41

But new in the box is better because somebody has to have their dick beaters all over it. You're right.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

So keep us clean.

SPEAKER_02 17:47

Yep. Go swipe that business card.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

Go home, the old lady gets goneria. Is that fucking open box camera Hoogie gave me?

SPEAKER_02 17:54

Yeah, yeah. How was I supposed to know?

SPEAKER_01 17:56

I didn't. Um, let's run through that list of sponsors one time. Uh B Zomer.

SPEAKER_02 18:02

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

And then we've got uh BCR.

SPEAKER_02 18:07

Yep. Boys Over Solutions.

SPEAKER_01 18:12

Hoogie. And we've got Nikki. Yep. And Hoogie and Nikki, if you guys would like to have something different on the sponsor page other than uh your Facebook profile pictures, uh send me some options to look through and I'll get it up there. Uh Nikki, you can get crazy with yours. Hoogie, clothing is not optional. You matter, you gotta want to see them, sorta. Well, yeah. Yeah. Of course. Who doesn't? I'll bet there's somebody.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

Well.

SPEAKER_01 18:49

Back in my younger days, I was more picky than I am now. Actually, that's bullshit. I'm a lot pickier now than I used to be. But yeah, so they got that the four of them on our sponsor page.

SPEAKER_02 19:03

Yeah. And they look good. Absolutely. I think you I think you're doing a great job on the website.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

They did good. And uh we got a recommendations page? We do. Um of people that we uh dealt with or otherwise like. Yeah. And we'd like to see you guys do business with them. Uh got them starting to feel like Bob and Tom, and this is a commercial. Uh, we got Little Lou's Cookie Company, Swanny Turks Tavern. We got uh Brantt White over at a gape uh I think it's agape. Agape? Yeah. That sounds fancier. Yeah. Agape. Something I used to yell at two in the morning. That's a gape! This is agape. Agape. Thank you, Bob.

SPEAKER_02 19:45

It's just like Joe Dirt, Joe Deer Tane. You just gotta church it up a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 19:49

We got not just guns rounding out our recommendation list. Yep. Um, if you're excited to see what you're gonna be missing if you don't listen every week, uh we got a coming soon page where we got some up-and-coming uh just working with legal to you know Zelmer and the wives are gonna be easy to take care of, but Mr. Witt wants uh got some demands, doesn't he? He does. He does. The worst part is I'm gonna have to get him a wrap with the magnetic wraps to put around his beer. Because when Bushlight's sponsor check pulls in here, we can't have Miller Light.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

No, not that fucking pisswater.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

Bad for business.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

And it's chalky. It is.

SPEAKER_01 20:30

It is. What did he do to his taste buttons? A lot of people like that shit, though.

SPEAKER_02 20:34

Probably some bad pussy.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

I'm staying out of that. I didn't say the one that's you were trying to bait me.

SPEAKER_02 20:41

I didn't say in his past. He's been drinking Miller Light since before he was out of diapers, I think.

SPEAKER_01 20:46

What does she do? She's a Coors Lighter, right?

SPEAKER_02 20:48

Yeah, yeah. Which is just as bad as Yeah, well, we walk in and you've got Raspberry Home Brew or Miller Light or Coors Light.

SPEAKER_01 20:58

Which one do you go for?

SPEAKER_02 20:59

Ice water.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

Oh, you're not gonna not drink, are you? Oh, yeah. Really?

SPEAKER_02 21:03

Yeah. I don't I don't do Miller Light or Coors Light. I don't like them.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

I can choke down a Coors.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

I've done it.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

And I can, but Miller Light if I'm looking polite.

SPEAKER_02 21:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:14

Ah just a nasty taste.

SPEAKER_02 21:17

Everybody's like, what's what's your favorite beer? The next one. Well, not if it's one of them motherfuckers.

SPEAKER_01 21:22

No. You want to see me nurse a beer, you get me a Miller Light. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:26

It's just got such a shit flavor to it.

SPEAKER_01 21:29

Yep. Oh, and what do they say?

SPEAKER_02 21:31

It's more bold.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:34

Fuck you.

SPEAKER_02 21:35

Well, licking an ass is pretty bold, so I guess that's they're probably right.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

You ever lick ass?

SPEAKER_02 21:40

I may have once once or twice.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

Like dive in.

SPEAKER_02 21:43

I may have a time or two.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

You accidental. I've never dove in because I'm a weird feller when it comes to that. And I'm it's gonna feel more like a you want me to eat your ass. Going to feel more like a doctor visit because I'm going to take a look.

SPEAKER_02 22:03

But examine that fucker because there's no corn kernels popping up.

SPEAKER_01 22:06

Corn kernels. No toilet paper stuck. And God forbid you right into a hemorrhoid.

SPEAKER_02 22:14

That'd probably ruin it for me.

SPEAKER_01 22:16

I want to look at it first.

SPEAKER_02 22:17

You know, I had an old boy tell me one time. He says, you know, when you're eating pussy and you're really getting into it, he says, if it tastes like shit, you took too big a bite. That smaller bite. That has stuck with me for a long, long time. It tastes like shit, you took too big a bite.

SPEAKER_01 22:44

How about that sub-zero bike ride to the uh great Vermontville for the maple syrup?

SPEAKER_02 22:50

Oh, last weekend, yeah. It wasn't that bad.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

I didn't think so either. Um I got off and I got a little, you know, but you always get that.

SPEAKER_02 22:59

I took off out of the house with a hooded sweatshirt on, made it there? No, just to the main road. And said, you know what? I'm gonna put my jacket on. Because I could have I could have made it, but I wanted to throw my jacket on. Much more comfortable. Let me ask you honestly, I didn't even get cold.

SPEAKER_01 23:21

When you do that, yeah, do you set the stand down and leave her parked or do you have her get off and then I just had her get off.

SPEAKER_02 23:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:27

I see people do it a lot of different ways. Yeah, I makes me nervous leaving that on there.

SPEAKER_02 23:33

Well, I'm not real flexible, and I need to come over the back seat. Oh, the shoe room. Yeah. So with my short legs, it's just it it's easier to just hop off real quick, shut her down, get in the trunk, get the jacket out, and it was like, yeah, that's that's good. And I and I was good, and then it warmed up after we met up with you guys at the coffee shop there.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

Um she didn't even drink any coffee.

SPEAKER_02 24:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Took her there on purpose. Right. Thought she'd be cold.

SPEAKER_02 24:04

And I decided to get one of them fancy drinks.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

Almost fucked up your pancake eating.

SPEAKER_02 24:10

Yeah, because I I ended up getting the grande, which is the big one.

SPEAKER_01 24:15

That's the biggest. Yeah. And then you order it like that, or do you say give me a large?

SPEAKER_02 24:20

When I go there. When I go there, I said I need a bear paw. A grande bear paw super or extra shot.

SPEAKER_01 24:28

Wow, it's a mouthful.

SPEAKER_02 24:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:30

And what is a bear paw?

SPEAKER_02 24:32

It's got uh chocolate, coconut, and I think caramel in it.

SPEAKER_01 24:38

Didn't pick you for a coconut eater.

SPEAKER_02 24:40

Oh yeah, I like coconut. Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_01 24:43

You like the snowballs?

SPEAKER_02 24:45

No. No, because that I think those are like marshmallowy, aren't they? Yeah, I don't do marshmallows. Um but yeah, like almond joys.

SPEAKER_01 24:54

Got nuts.

SPEAKER_02 24:55

Yep. Mounds don't.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

Does almond joy have car uh coconut? It is coconut. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:01

I don't know that because it's covered in chocolate with four nuts on top. Well two per bar. Yeah. So yeah, those are those are good. Yeah, I like coconut.

SPEAKER_01 25:13

You mouth down on some mounds too?

SPEAKER_02 25:15

I don't ever get mounds because I like the yellow almonds in it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:19

I do like a Hershey bar with almonds.

SPEAKER_02 25:22

Yeah. Almonds are good.

SPEAKER_01 25:23

Not a fan of Hershey chocolate though. No. No, you know what's really disgusting? What's that? The Reese's I like Reese's peanut butter cups. Okay. But they sell the peanut butter in a jar to like use in the morning.

SPEAKER_02 25:41

I don't know if I've had that before.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

Next time you're at Meyer, grab a jar? Yeah. Just stick your finger in there.

SPEAKER_02 25:47

Oh, like right at the store. Just I'm gonna taste test this.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

Did I ever tell you about her?

SPEAKER_02 25:53

Nope.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

It was COVID era. 20, 21. And I'm pushing my cart through uh Meyer. Uh-huh. And I'm at the peanut butter aisle, and I am Jeff creamy, nothing else. Don't even talk about it. No, if there was, I'd probably still be laying there. And I'm looking for my cream, and it was it was short. You know, we had a lot of products that were short. Had to bend well into her eighties. Well. She's unscrewing the top. And she does this, no shit.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

She was probably unscrewing the top to make sure the seal wasn't broken.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

I watched her stick her finger in it. No. Yes. And I looked at her and she said, They're all out of Jeff. I've eaten that since I was a kid, and none of this stuff tastes the same. And I just kind of laughed. Because if I would have done it, everybody'd be like, look at that fucking pig. But that sweet little old lady can get away with it. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 26:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:52

Yeah. And my grandma's got a friend that peels her bananas before she buys them because you know where they get you on the price. The weight of the peel.

SPEAKER_02 26:59

28 cents a fucking pound. Come on. She also grew up in the depression.

SPEAKER_01 27:04

Yes. Price saves her fucking aluminum foil still. Nothing wrong with that.

SPEAKER_02 27:11

But 28 cents a pound, she just brought that motherfucker down to 14 cents a pound.

SPEAKER_01 27:16

Bringing the fucking banana world to its knees.

SPEAKER_02 27:19

One peel at a time.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

I don't know. You know, I could go for a lot of things. I mean, if I got me a steak and I cut the fat off, I'm saving a lot of money. Well, Brian's calling. He knows we do this.

SPEAKER_02 27:35

Yeah. He's probably he's probably calling to be on the show.

SPEAKER_01 27:38

Yeah, we gotta figure that out. Yeah, we do need to. I think you'd plug something into that.

SPEAKER_02 27:43

We'll have to see what we can come up with. Um, but yeah, we we went to the Maple syrup festival last weekend. Had a good time.

SPEAKER_01 27:50

I think it was fun. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

A lot of people watching.

SPEAKER_01 27:54

That's better than any free fair you'll get to.

SPEAKER_02 27:57

Let's just put this PSA out there right now.

SPEAKER_01 28:00

I want to. Okay. I'll back you.

SPEAKER_02 28:03

And it seems to be more during fair time or one of these big county city events, whatever you want to call it. Circus fair. It looked like a circus. When you go to these events and you get yourself dressed up and you look in the mirror.

SPEAKER_01 28:30

Do not go to the house of mirrors. You will be severely disappointed. Look at that freak. Oh, there she is again.

SPEAKER_02 28:37

And I'm not trying to shame anybody. Because you got to be comfortable in your own self.

SPEAKER_01 28:43

Try that shoe out, though. It fits pretty good, don't it?

SPEAKER_02 28:45

Feels good, it kind of. But what are some of these people thinking when they get all dialed up, stand in front of the mirror, and you're like, Yep, I'm ready for a day on the town.

SPEAKER_01 28:58

You know what I'm missing? I'm missing a goddamn raccoon tail to shove up my ass and walk around with. Never have I thought that. Goddamn furries. Thresh, where's my coontail? What the fuck? Um okay, so who's the fault? Who's to blame for this?

SPEAKER_02 29:14

I'm gonna say the fucking parents. Is it the parents? And even if they're adults, it's still the fucking parents' fault because they let them grow up and be fucking.

SPEAKER_01 29:23

How about the boyfriend that's proud to show that? Yeah. Shouldn't he say no, babe? He's saving himself from an argument, is what he's doing. I don't care. We've talked about this. Don't save yourself an argument. Get into it. Because if you thought ye, we're all thinking it. And it's unfair of you to let her parade herself around there with everybody saying, what a freak. Ain't nobody well, there's a few guys that are saying, ooh, that's a hot piece of S. Yeah, I don't. But on that note, while you're shaming people, I don't even though you don't mean to.

SPEAKER_02 30:04

Um not shaming.

SPEAKER_01 30:06

Does that look present itself different at 2 15 in the AM?

SPEAKER_02 30:16

Yeah, it probably does. I believe that it would. Yeah, so maybe that maybe they've got a method to their madness. Maybe I'm missing the point.

SPEAKER_01 30:23

Till you wake up. Yeah. Chew your fucking arm off to get away from whatever you brought home. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 30:31

Oh, my house caught on fire.

SPEAKER_01 30:33

Why would I somebody's gotta stop it?

SPEAKER_02 30:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:38

Plain and simple.

SPEAKER_02 30:39

So if you're friends with people like that, friendship be a good friend.

SPEAKER_01 30:45

Is worth it.

SPEAKER_02 30:46

Yeah. Be a good friend. Yeah. Quit letting motherfuckers leave the house looking like they do sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 30:51

I know. You know, it ain't a big girl thing. No. At all. Because you got these skinny scrawny things that dress way inappropriate as well.

SPEAKER_02 31:02

Oh yeah. I mean, it's all walks of life.

SPEAKER_01 31:05

Yeah. Um. While we're speaking of uh good-looking women, uh, I stumbled upon rosemary doll.com. It got my attention. It's silicone love dolls.

SPEAKER_02 31:23

Um, I'm listening.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

You get them in every size and shape imaginable. The one that I'm currently looking at is 5'8. She's an e-cup. And when you guys go to rosemary doll.com, look for use promo code. Look for Ida Bell. She's a hottie. But if you don't want to buy one of the pre-mates, oh, look at her. Here, let me make it bigger for you. Yeah, please do. Ida Bell. Keep talking. Ida Bell. There you go. There you go. And now you can scroll through her finer features at the hot damn. How tall are you?

SPEAKER_02 32:07

5'10.

SPEAKER_01 32:08

Okay, so Ida Bell will fit in your bed too. She's just two inches shy. You gotta click it a couple times. Yeah, I'm getting there. Yeah, we gotta call the internet company. Um, but uh if you don't like any of the pre-mades, you can make your own. And something that I uh kind of got a thought on is I'm thinking about making one that looks just like my wife.

SPEAKER_02 32:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 32:33

Ordering it up.

SPEAKER_02 32:34

I'm listening.

SPEAKER_01 32:35

And then next time Trish says, No, I'm not in the mood, I'll get up. I'll pull out the bill will be. God damn it. I'm gonna pull her out of the closet and she's gonna say, What the hell? Oh my god, that's me. Now, do you really think that they're that flexible?

SPEAKER_02 32:49

Oh, they are like a regular human dude. There's any bones in them.

SPEAKER_01 32:53

Yeah, scroll down a little bit. There's an echoskeleton. I mean, these girls are real. If you scroll down in the whole writing, it'll tell you everything that they got. That's the real deal. You can pose them however you want. Well, I'll be dipped. Mine ain't gonna have to do much more than just hold her ankles and look back at me. Yeah, and then uh, oh God, you can get clothes for them to dress them up, or you can probably go to the store and buy some because they're normal sized people.

SPEAKER_02 33:21

No, let's look at the stats on a are you gonna like parade her around in your passenger seat or truck?

SPEAKER_01 33:27

Where else she's gonna ride? Well, it's easier too, because then I can just say, hey, Trish, hand me a beer, because she's already in the back seat.

SPEAKER_02 33:35

Put her on the back of the motorcycle, ride around with her, make everybody think you got some hot chick.

SPEAKER_01 33:39

You're gonna have to help get her on there though.

SPEAKER_02 33:41

I'll be glad to. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:44

How drunk is his girl? Um, but I don't know if you're gonna be a little bit more 5'8. I'm not crazy about the weight, but she looks good, so 78 pounds. Seems kind of bony. That's yeah. But I think they might lighten them up so you can move them. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 34:02

Well, they're probably still the right size, they're just lighter because they don't have like real organs and shit.

SPEAKER_01 34:08

Right. She's got a 33-inch inseam. Um, her feet are size eight. I see where I'm gonna run into a problem.

SPEAKER_02 34:20

What's that?

SPEAKER_01 34:21

Jesus Christ. So I spend two grand on Ida Bell, uh huh, and I'm not gonna enjoy this. Her oral depth is only three inches.

SPEAKER_02 34:33

Well, you're you're plenty good, I'm sure then.

SPEAKER_01 34:35

What's going on here that they couldn't extend that? I don't know. Depth is six inches. So she's gonna scream. And then the vagina is also six inches.

SPEAKER_02 34:53

So you can't fist her.

SPEAKER_01 34:56

Well, that's depth. That doesn't say nothing about ra wit.

SPEAKER_02 34:59

Well, yeah, but like if you want to go like all over your elbow, you ain't gonna elbow. Move it around in her belly, throw up some gang signs. Yeah, so I I don't know. Do they have any kind of like speaker in them that makes them talk?

SPEAKER_01 35:12

Um, I think you can order like an AI type so they can talk to you. Huh. But look here, you can select the vagina. Fixed or removable? Well, you're not gonna get that whole body in the fucking dishwasher, so you're probably gonna have to.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

Yeah, I'd choose removable.

SPEAKER_01 35:28

Your buddies come over and they all got you'd save a lot of money. You bring your pussy? No, I left it at home. You're out of the gangbang, Steve. So come up there, snap your own couch on and go to town.

SPEAKER_02 35:45

So what you're saying is you spend the two grand on old Ida. Yeah. And you I mean, I don't know what's going right for getting a hooker. A hundred bucks, two hundred bucks?

SPEAKER_01 35:55

Probably two hundred bucks, I don't think. That's ten times.

SPEAKER_02 35:58

Yeah. I mean So well, if you give a discount, hey, fifty bucks.

SPEAKER_01 36:04

Yeah. I get Ida. I bet you'd fuck her and give me fifty bucks. After you paid the 60 for your own ri replaceable bunghole.

SPEAKER_02 36:14

Yeah, I probably would.

SPEAKER_01 36:16

We we could get a tall chair. She could hang out here with us.

SPEAKER_02 36:21

She could be a guest on the show.

SPEAKER_01 36:24

Oh my god. Yeah, you can get a gel butt, soft, soft feel for that.

SPEAKER_02 36:30

Forget about the camera. He needs Ida. We we need an assistant.

SPEAKER_01 36:36

Oh my god. I would love to have that kind of money that it didn't matter. I'd just blow it. As I would, I'd get one made up just fucking identical to her. You know, even the little spot right on her butt cheek, right down there.

SPEAKER_02 36:50

If we hit the lottery, we're gonna do that.

SPEAKER_01 36:52

Wouldn't that be fun?

SPEAKER_02 36:53

Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what's gonna happen. Um, but yeah, we were we were at the Maple syrup festival road over there, had a actually a kick-ass pancake breakfast. That was good, wasn't it? It was very good. I've never been anywhere else. We run into some friends and we hung out there, walked around, talked.

SPEAKER_01 37:15

You know who I really like of um my newly acquired friendships. Who's that? I really like Neil Banks.

SPEAKER_02 37:24

Yeah, yeah, I do too.

SPEAKER_01 37:26

When I first met him, I saw him and he just looks like a cock. Like he's ready to fight.

SPEAKER_02 37:32

He does have that look.

SPEAKER_01 37:33

But he is a damn nice guy.

SPEAKER_02 37:35

But you know, he looks he looks all rough and tough, but that motherfucker's soft as Sherman. Is he? Yeah, he's he's he's soft. Nice guy, but soft.

SPEAKER_01 37:46

Seems really, really locked up.

SPEAKER_02 37:48

Now when I when I see him, he's probably gonna grab a hold of me and say, Listen here, motherfucker, and fucking grab a hold of me, but we'll see.

SPEAKER_01 37:56

He might wrap you right up.

SPEAKER_02 37:58

I might be going to have lunch with those guys tomorrow. Oh, no shit. That's what he's calling for. He's got it. Brian's going to pick up his new uh custom built table. Oh. No, no, he doesn't have a rust. His uh his his new table that was built, which is pretty sweet. The pictures of it are badass. He said they don't do anything for for it and you know, in person it's way better. So uh he's gonna pick that table up tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 38:27

You're gonna have to get around there to see that.

SPEAKER_02 38:29

Yeah, well, I'll be seeing it this weekend, but you are busy, so Oh, if I brought Ida over, would you eat her out?

SPEAKER_01 38:37

I mean, do people get that much into it?

SPEAKER_02 38:40

No, I I I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_01 38:42

Do you think people do though?

SPEAKER_02 38:43

Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. These fucking weirdos, they probably do all kinds of freaky shit to them things. If nobody was around, I'd probably do it. God damn, I had to look at those lips.

SPEAKER_01 39:01

Checked your asshole already. Take a big bite, Bob. No, folks, we gotta get him a dowel. Jesus Christ. I got my teddy bear from when I was a brand new kid. He sits in my bedroom. You think he's gonna approve it either? I'd have to cover his eyes because he don't need to see that. Trauma. Yeah. Oh fuck. Got prom this weekend.

SPEAKER_02 39:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:32

Yeah. Um all day affair for the kids, I get it. But it's an all-day affair for me, too, and I'm uncertain how we ever got there. It shouldn't be anything for you. It's not your problem. These mothers are different than I ever thought they'd be. You know. Oh, it's the last time. Oh, it's the last, oh, it's the la everything's the last. You know what? Or maybe it's a beginning. Okay, so we've already done it, so what's the fucking big deal? Right. Yeah. That wasn't really. Boy, you're uh a little salty today. Me? Yeah. You're body shaming. Jesus Christ. It's not like you.

SPEAKER_02 40:16

I don't have enough information about someone's death. I mean, Jesus. Burning me at the goddamn cross.

SPEAKER_01 40:23

I thought you'd know that.

SPEAKER_02 40:24

I didn't. I never even looked at it. And they don't either. I don't know if you know this or not. But I've been working hard these last few weeks.

SPEAKER_01 40:33

I've noticed something's been a little awry. I've been working. How'd they get you to do that?

SPEAKER_02 40:41

Well, when the when duty calls, you go.

SPEAKER_01 40:45

In case anybody didn't hear that, that was a been fixing a lot of guardrail. Are you actually fixing it or are you just holding the blinker truck so nobody hits you guys?

SPEAKER_02 40:58

No, I'm out there doing the J O B.

SPEAKER_01 41:01

Really?

SPEAKER_02 41:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:02

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 41:03

How's it feel? Made me want to start singing some take this jum and shove it. Oh, David Allen call there.

SPEAKER_01 41:10

Yeah. You know, if we had one of them fancy boxes where we could play stuff, that would have been the perfect time for you to hit that button.

SPEAKER_02 41:17

Yeah. But we don't have one.

SPEAKER_01 41:19

No.

SPEAKER_02 41:20

Because where's that at?

SPEAKER_01 41:22

360 camera first.

SPEAKER_02 41:24

Yeah. We gotta have that.

SPEAKER_01 41:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:28

And if I have to go buy it out of pocket because Hoogie wants to be a cheap motherfucker. He's coming off the website. Oh no, no. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:38

That's ten dollars.

SPEAKER_02 41:40

No, it ain't.

SPEAKER_01 41:41

Five.

SPEAKER_02 41:42

Yeah. He's cheap.

SPEAKER_01 41:44

I'm gonna have to re reorder the pictures then.

SPEAKER_02 41:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:47

Yeah, I got him placed in the ten dollar group. Well, he ain't. I should do that. Instead of just putting them all on there. Put a value like platinum sponsor.

unknown 42:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 42:01

Yeah. And work it all the way down to brass. I don't know how that works.

SPEAKER_02 42:07

Fucking coal.

SPEAKER_01 42:09

Oh. And then speaking of uh them girls and people that you were talking about, the freaks at the fucking maple syrup festival. Well, let me tell you what. We'll talk to me. That is nowhere to just let your fucking big dick hang out in the wide open either. This is true. It's a public place. That fucking dog. Puppy. What kind of puppy was that, you think? I don't know, but he they I hope they named him Bruiser. Holy shit. Puppy six inches tall, and he keeps stumbling on a fucking 12-inch cock. I pointed out to everybody, and that fucking Zomer. Hey Brad, you go touch that dog's dick, I'll give you 50 bucks. Like, no, I ain't doing it for 50. And then fucking Neil says, I'll match it.

unknown 42:58

Ooh.

SPEAKER_02 42:58

Now you got my Hundo.

SPEAKER_01 43:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:01

All you gotta do is touch his dick.

SPEAKER_01 43:04

I couldn't bring myself to it without telling the girl that, hey, um, I am going to play with your dog's dick. Essentially, is what I said. But I'm getting paid for it. And she made such a she was aghast. Is that how you say aghast? Or aghast. She was a aghast. You got me with the gape and the agape. Um so she made a big show. Everybody knew I talked to her, so I lost it, lost out on it. But if she would have been really cool and just been like, yeah, go ahead, I would have done that. And then I would have taken their hundred bucks and we would have gone back to the bar and drank. I wouldn't have taken it, just pocket it.

SPEAKER_02 43:51

You should have just done it without asking. It's always easier to ask for per for forgiveness than his permission.

SPEAKER_01 43:58

Yes, but some people treat Kid dogs like they're their kids, and I don't want to be in that.

SPEAKER_02 44:04

You might have got shanked.

SPEAKER_01 44:05

I know. Although Neil said he'd protect me if he'd help me out if the guy hit me. Well, how's he gonna do that when he's got a fucking phone in his hand trying to record it? I wasn't recording, not have done it. Oh, you would have been too busy laughing. For a minute. For a minute. And what are you gonna do? You're out there with your dogs, and somebody walks up and says, Oh, that's a good boy, and then starts. You're gonna be like.

SPEAKER_02 44:29

If somebody did that to my dogs, I'd laugh. I would.

SPEAKER_01 44:33

But and had I done that, I'd have a puppy sitting right here next to us right now because I don't think he would have left me.

SPEAKER_02 44:40

I love you, Brad. Um the uh the other day we were at the bar, believe it or not, and uh it got brought up because one one person that was there with us, they like um whiskey. Jack Daniels.

SPEAKER_01 45:08

I like Canadian whiskey, and the other likes Jim Beam. Two of the most awful drinks in which America is.

SPEAKER_02 45:16

Correct me if I'm wrong, but Jim Beam is a bourbon. Yes, sir. Correct? Or rum. Spiced rum.

SPEAKER_01 45:21

Jim Beam is a bourbon.

SPEAKER_02 45:22

Okay, what's spiced rum? Captain.

SPEAKER_01 45:24

Captain. Yes, that's what it was.

SPEAKER_02 45:26

Captain. They didn't have Jim Beam, they have Captain. And it was brought to my attention that when you mix it with say coke, because that's what most people mix it with. If you take your little your little cocktail straw and you stir stir it around a little bit, whiskey will make that bubble. And rum will not bubble. I mean the the rum and the whiskey's not what's bubbling. It's this obviously the pop that's in it or soda.

SPEAKER_01 46:00

But what's in the rum that quits the bubbles from bubbling?

SPEAKER_02 46:04

I have no idea. I never knew that. I'm not a liquor drinker. Motherfucker don't even be like that. I'm telling you what was told to me. I'm passing on the information. I don't have time to sit at my fucking desk like you do all day long and look it up. I'm busy working.

SPEAKER_01 46:27

So is it all dude? It's like the never-ending hook. Like, oh my god, why is it what the fuck? He's not gonna tell us. Maybe I'm doing it to get people to engage with him. Nobody wants to fucking engage episode 31 when Brad's had time to do homework.

unknown 46:48

Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_01 46:49

Are you looking it up? Yeah. Good thank you. Um there's gotta be something in the room. I'd be betting.

SPEAKER_02 47:04

Well, we're gonna find out.

SPEAKER_01 47:06

Oh, I didn't mean to hurt your feeling.

SPEAKER_02 47:10

And I'm gonna tell you that there's no buddy has ever looked it up or researched it.

SPEAKER_01 47:16

Oh, because it's not coming up?

SPEAKER_02 47:18

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 47:18

Well, maybe we'll not find out. Maybe it's just one of them.

SPEAKER_02 47:24

The difference in bubbling or beating between whiskey and rum, particularly when shaken, is primarily due to the two differences in ABV, which is alcohol by volume. Why whiskey bubbles? Higher A B V. High proof or cask strength whiskeys above or usually less than 50% ABV produce more longer lasting bubbles when shaken. This is often used as a test for strength.

SPEAKER_01 47:58

Oh, no shit. Yeah. Well, thank you for that information, Bob.

SPEAKER_02 48:03

Lower A or why rum often does not bubble. Lower ABV standardization. Many standard rums are bottled at or near 40% ABV, which generally produces fewer, less persistent bubbles compared to higher proof spirits.

SPEAKER_01 48:23

40% would be an 80-proof, correct? That's how it works. Cut in half. Yep.

unknown 48:30

Huh.

SPEAKER_01 48:31

I did not know that. You know, I did know something about that because Mitch makes his own moonshine, and if he shakes up, he gets a lot more bubbles in the high end.

SPEAKER_02 48:40

And I know there's something with that, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:41

Yeah, I did not know that. Well, that's good to thank you. Jesus Christ. Now we did a full circle on that topic, and I appreciate that. Leaving us hanging out there like that's a little hard.

SPEAKER_02 48:54

That's what she said.

SPEAKER_01 48:56

A little hard, yeah. I remember it used to be a lot of hard.

SPEAKER_02 49:00

God.

SPEAKER_01 49:00

So do I.

SPEAKER_02 49:01

Those days are long gone.

SPEAKER_01 49:02

Yep. Oh. So Ricardo. Yeah. We've talked about it. Well, he was uh out drinking with some family members, and uh a family member said, Hey, I really like this kind of rum. And he's never heard of it.

SPEAKER_02 49:30

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 49:31

So he thought, hell, I'm gonna run up to the liquor store, see if they got the rum. Well, he got there, he's looking all over, and the girl says, Can I help you find something, sir? And he says, yeah, well, he was really nervous. Uh huh. And he said he didn't know what to do. The name of that rum is Big Black Dick Rum. So as you can see, my old father-in-law standing there. You don't want to ask for a big black dick. So he approaches her a little closer to ask for it.

SPEAKER_02 50:14

I'm looking for this big black dick rum. Have you ever heard of it?

SPEAKER_01 50:23

Yeah, they did not have it. I'm sure they didn't. Oh, I I laugh so fucking hard when he told me that. I'm like, how did you ask for it?

SPEAKER_02 50:34

BBD. He said BBD rum.

SPEAKER_01 50:39

Jesus. Oh, fuck.

SPEAKER_02 50:44

Oh, Ricardo.

SPEAKER_01 50:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:49

The other day we were sitting around talking shit.

SPEAKER_01 50:53

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 50:54

And uh I've got this disclaimer when I talk to people about our podcast. You've heard of this feel a thousand times. What's it about? I said anything and everything. And I tell everybody that's a potential prospect listener, just skip the first four episodes. Start at five. We fucking sucked the first four. We didn't know what we were doing. The two of us could barely turn a fucking computer on at the point when we started. And so just go to like five and listen to that and see. And then once you've caught up, then go back and see where we started. And it'll give you a better appreciation of it.

SPEAKER_01 51:40

I'm gonna agree with that.

SPEAKER_02 51:42

So you made the fucking comment about the first four episodes. And what was that?

SPEAKER_01 51:51

What was it? I can't remember.

SPEAKER_02 51:53

It's like bar carryo.

SPEAKER_01 51:55

Yes, you're right. It was two.

unknown 51:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 52:02

You know, I give anybody credit that starts with episode one and they actually go to two, though. Because one was rough.

SPEAKER_02 52:10

Oh, it's terrible.

SPEAKER_01 52:11

Not as bad as two, though.

SPEAKER_02 52:12

Yeah. Terrible.

SPEAKER_01 52:13

Then we got that unreleased one still out there. I think that was a number eight or something.

SPEAKER_02 52:17

No, that was 3.2 or 3.1. Was that that was that was early on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:22

That was bad.

SPEAKER_02 52:23

Yeah. But then the people that we the VIPs that we listened to it. They liked it. They said it was good. So I don't know. I felt terrible about it. You felt terrible about it. So we just said scratch it.

SPEAKER_01 52:35

We had to fuck that. Um Malachi, uh drinking buddy, uh quite a bit younger than me, but he uh sent a text today that said it's one of the best ones. Uh Hoogie's really good about supporting us like that. You know, this is really good.

SPEAKER_02 52:52

Um Bruce Bruce, he listens to a lot of podcasts. He says that he likes it. You know.

SPEAKER_01 52:58

Oh, it's gotta be something. Yeah. But when you get 13.3,000 views on a reel and you only netted 14 followers, and then you look through it and you see all these people that liked it, and have been invited to follow the page, and they're not you are a fucking investigator. That upsets me a little bit. You were invited, you're here liking it. I know you're here. Yeah. Um, I don't want to dial it back and scoop back to Hoogie and Malachi and that that age group, you know. Yep. Early to mid-20s.

SPEAKER_02 53:32

Party animals. They think. Correct.

SPEAKER_01 53:37

I am willing to put us out there this summer, Bob. 2026.

SPEAKER_02 53:42

All right.

SPEAKER_01 53:43

You bring two, not one friend, but you bring two of your friends, and you come match drink with me and Bob. I guarantee you you three are laying in the dirt before these two fucking veterans.

SPEAKER_02 53:56

That's right. And we got you by damn near double H. Yeah. Well, you definitely do. Um pretty pretty close to double H.

SPEAKER_01 54:04

The weird young uncle.

SPEAKER_02 54:05

Yeah. So, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:08

Yeah. Because these kids, they all like to talk like they they're just fucking out there.

SPEAKER_02 54:12

Oh, well, uh motherfucker, I will drink you under the table.

SPEAKER_01 54:16

We're out there pounding Bush Apple for three days. Uh, pussy.

SPEAKER_02 54:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:21

PBR's got a pickle out now. Pickle flavor. Did you see that? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:25

Brian sent that to me. I told him he can keep that shit.

SPEAKER_01 54:28

Yeah, I don't know about all that. But I'm not a big fruity beer drinker either. I like what I like.

SPEAKER_02 54:34

Yeah. Yeah. Good old fucking Anheuser Busch.

SPEAKER_01 54:38

Like you said, made with Michigan corn. We assumed.

SPEAKER_02 54:43

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If it ain't, it should be.

SPEAKER_01 54:45

Yeah. You'd think somebody would have reached out to us from Anheuser.

SPEAKER_02 54:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:50

Especially after last week when we had the pride flag up.

unknown 54:53

Whew.

SPEAKER_01 54:53

They're into that.

SPEAKER_02 54:55

Now they're not. That was one.

SPEAKER_01 54:57

Yeah, now they're not.

SPEAKER_02 54:58

That was one person and that motherfucker's looking for a new job.

SPEAKER_01 55:01

And you know what is funny about that? They still ain't recovered. No. No. That's crazy how it stinks.

SPEAKER_02 55:09

The part that really I think is the funniest part. And people get so fucking bent out of shape. We ain't drinking Bud Light ever again. Blah, blah, blah. I'll drink Ultra. I'll drink Budweiser. I'll drink Bush Light. They're all the fucking same color.

SPEAKER_01 55:22

Simple the same. Yups. If you're not going to support 'em, don't support them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:26

And the beer didn't change.

SPEAKER_01 55:28

No. No, I've drank a lot of beer around a lot of guys, and I never once thought about fucking one.

SPEAKER_02 55:36

Me two.

SPEAKER_01 55:36

Yeah. So.

SPEAKER_02 55:38

Or neither. Me neither.

SPEAKER_01 55:42

Me too. Yeah. Yeah. And neither's better. Me neither.

SPEAKER_02 55:50

Yeah, I don't know. I just.

SPEAKER_01 55:52

Whatever.

SPEAKER_02 55:53

But yeah. Fuck, fuck you, young punks.

SPEAKER_01 55:56

Yeah. They want to act like it.

SPEAKER_02 55:58

Bring it on.

SPEAKER_01 55:59

We're out there. Fucking six of us went through 12 beers on Saturday. Woo!

SPEAKER_02 56:04

What the fuck? I do that on a Sunday before church.

SPEAKER_01 56:08

Come on, kids.

SPEAKER_02 56:09

Jesus Christ. And then the the part that really fucking crank grinds my gears on this one is them little motherfuckers will go out there. They'll get they'll get all tuned up to what they think is tuned up. And then they'll fucking lay in bed till two o'clock the next day.

SPEAKER_01 56:25

Oh my God. Get up early like the rest of us.

SPEAKER_02 56:28

Let's get up. Let's fucking get with it.

SPEAKER_01 56:31

Yep. They can't. No. You know what? We we'll roll that right into the fucking party there. Yeah. This ain't about who can drink so much. It's about who can get the fuck up in the morning and function.

SPEAKER_02 56:43

Yeah. Yeah. Or stay in bed all day and call your mom and ask her if she'll bring you some fucking breakfast. You bring me some toast.

SPEAKER_01 56:50

We'll have to do this on a Friday so we can keep an eye on them all day Saturday, too. Carry them right through it. I'll wake up with a fucking beer for breakfast. A fucking concert, dude. You could tell they weren't. Oh, they they didn't have the ability.

SPEAKER_02 57:02

They were a bunch of fucking milk toasts. Yep. That's what they were.

SPEAKER_01 57:04

Milk toasts.

SPEAKER_02 57:06

Speaking of waking up and getting breakfast.

SPEAKER_01 57:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:09

I woke up this morning, jumped in the shower, getting ready for work. Come out, get my coffee. There's this fucking big ass omelette sitting right on a plate.

SPEAKER_01 57:24

Shoot.

SPEAKER_02 57:26

I ain't shitting you. Fucking was that big, was that thick, and it was loaded.

SPEAKER_01 57:32

That's like an eight-ugger.

SPEAKER_02 57:33

It was big. It was loaded with cheese and bacon. She made that for you? Oh yeah. Yep. While I was getting ready for work, she got up, went out there, made me an omelet. And I'll tell you what, that motherfucker was the best omelet I've ever had in my life. You wanna know why? A couple reasons. I want to hear them. One, it was fucking really good. It had a bunch of cheese in it. I like a bunch of cheese. The more cheese, the better in it.

SPEAKER_01 58:07

Flowing out of it, you know.

SPEAKER_02 58:08

Had some good bacon in it, and it was made with love. Well. That was the icing on the cake right there.

SPEAKER_01 58:17

My summer's getting short really quick. Yeah. Because now I need to bring over my spatula and my pan. And I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna challenge Kelly to a uh omelet cook-off.

SPEAKER_02 58:31

You're gonna get your ass handed to you?

SPEAKER_01 58:33

You're gonna have to stay out of sight.

SPEAKER_02 58:36

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 58:38

And then you come in.

SPEAKER_02 58:39

I'll take a blind taste test.

SPEAKER_01 58:40

Yep, Pepsi Coke challenge there. And I'm gonna apologize right up front here.

SPEAKER_02 58:48

In advance.

SPEAKER_01 58:49

When you don't get another omelet made by her the rest of your life, it's because you chose wrong, and I apologize, but I do know mine is way fucking better. Doubt it. Okay. Doubt it. Well, we'll figure that out too. Yeah. We got a lot of stuff to figure out.

SPEAKER_02 59:03

You guys come on over to the campground.

SPEAKER_01 59:05

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 59:05

Stay in the camp, in the in the uh in your seasonal camper there, and uh wake up in the morning and the the heat is on.

SPEAKER_01 59:16

I got a secret.

unknown 59:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 59:18

She she just willy-nilly pulls her eggs right out of the fridge, cracks them, fucking stirs them. You gotta let them get near room temperature before you crack them and put them on the how do you know that she didn't fast track that by who pursing it, they call it? Is that what they call it?

SPEAKER_02 59:36

I think it is. How do you know she didn't do that? And maybe that helped with the without the shell and stirred them up and scrambled the eggs.

SPEAKER_01 59:50

People get into that too. You know, people are like, where do you guys come up with some of this stuff? We don't, we've seen it. Oh, yeah. That made me laugh. That's a good way to get salmonella if you're not careful.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:08

I'll try it. Oh man. Oh breakfast, though, yeah. That was I mean, I was Did you have time to eat before you had to go? Yeah, I was I had to eat fast, but man, I was full. That motherfucker was huge. You eat three times a day. Yeah, yeah. Well, kind of. My general day-to-day, I get up in the morning before I head out to work, I eat a yogurt. And then I ate lunch at work.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:39

Did you have the yogurt today with your egg or no, there was no room for that.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:43

Skipped that. And uh then I ate lunch at work and then I ate dinner at home. So yeah. Yeah, I mean, I guess you could call the yogurt a meal for breakfast.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:52

Yeah, yeah, I got a guy that works with me, and that motherfucker don't get three meals a day. He's dying. And I've always been one that I never really ate lunch. I mean, if we're going to the restaurant, I'll eat lunch, but if I don't eat lunch, I don't eat breakfast. Of course, nobody will fucking scramble me up an omelet for breakfast either. So that that might change. Your fucking breakfast is a little picky. And then uh fucking picky my ass.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:21

I've been to the breakfast joints with you on motorcycle rides.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:24

How about that fucking toast at that place? What's that place called? Ionia, we started going to. Blue water or something?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:30

Yeah, Blue Water Cafe.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:32

Yeah, yeah. You want some Texas toast? Oh, I like Texas toast. Motherfucker, that was a loaf of bread cut in half. That's a little thick.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:39

But it's good.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:40

It was good. It's good.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:41

It was good. Not gonna deny that.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:44

Yeah, and if Shirley's listening, you gotta step your game up to bring us back. We were going to you until you were closed, and then we fell in love at the Blue Water. Remember? Was it Shirley's Sherry's? Over there by the river, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:57

Sherry's. Sherry's, Mary's, Mary's.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:00

Sherry's. Sherry's. Sherry's. Yeah, Sherry's. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:07

I like Shirley's in Nashville for breakfast. Chuck Wagon, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:12

Yep, that's good. Oh, I like their fucking uh strawberry sh uh strawberry. You put a biscuit in there and some whipped cream uh shortcake? Yes. Boy, is that good.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:24

I like their country fried steak. That motherfucker is pew. Well, we ever go there. Because we don't go to Nashville very often because I got a fucking ride out to Pu'amo.

unknown 1:02:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:35

And then you did again Saturday. We were like hit your house, and you guys said, Well, she only has a birthday once a year, we're gonna go out there.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:46

That's right. Did it to a peas.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:49

Yeah. I'm glad you did.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:51

Oh, we we are too. We had a good time.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:54

Yeah, felt good getting the bikes out again.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:59

Yes. Yeah, really. It was it was nice. Yeah, it was overdue. In fact, we ran in we ran into a guy at um Maple syrup who's got a podcast. We did. What was his name? Brennan? Brennan. Brennan?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:16

I think without a D. I think it was B-R-E.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:19

Like Brennan from uh Stepbrothers.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:23

You know, I've still not seen that movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:24

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:26

Yeah, and I think I'm gonna look it up because I don't want to send people to the wrong site, but I think it's riding with.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:32

I think so.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:33

Riding. God, ever since I acquired this here uh iPad, it's opened me a whole new life here. I can look shit up now. Riding with Brand.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:47

But we run into them at the Michigan Bike Life uh booth, which those guys we talked to 'em because I wear my Michigan Bike Life hat all the time.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:58

Oh, it is Brendan with a D. Yeah, that's what I thought.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:00

Yep. Um Oh, good thing I was right, otherwise there'd be a fucking other fucking little video. Brennan. Brennan, Brennan, motherfucker. Anyway, it's Jesus. Running down there twice. And the the guys over at Michigan Bike Life, I talked to him and said, Hey, we support you guys on the show. We wear our bike life's hats. You got your shirt on, you don't have your hat on today.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:25

No.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:25

But I sit on this side of the camera and they can't see my logo because it's on the other side.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:32

How many people have asked me, why does Bob always just wear a plain black hat? I don't. No, you don't. They don't see it. There you go.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:39

So, talk to the guys over there, which are kick-ass people.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:43

Oh, they're great people.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:44

And um, they said, Hey, let us know what you're looking for. We'll get a custom order going, and we'll uh we'll get you logo on the other side. When I first asked him, he looked at me like, Why the fuck would you want it there? And then when I explained it to him, he's like, Oh, yeah, that makes sense. I appreciate you guys giving us support. Blah, blah. But they're always they're always good to deal with when it's like. Oh, I love talking to them.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:10

They're always friendly as shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:11

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:12

Yeah. Um, but you know, that's the thing too, and I'm gonna have to check out more of this Brendan's podcast, because uh it looks interesting, so I'm gonna have to listen to that. But you know, the thing is, is uh you get all these people. Um why do you like having a motorcycle? Why do you like doing this? Why do you like doing it's not so much the exhilarating fucking feeling you get from riding a motorcycle? It is a lot of that. I'd say about 70 percent. The other 30 percent, though, is all the fucking cool people you meet.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:43

You really do. You meet a lot of fun people.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:45

Look at everything we've done the last five years. Have you ran into a dickhead yet?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:50

There's occasional occasional, whatever, but the majority of all the people you run into when you're at these events and you're at all these uh places that you stop. They're pretty cool. Pretty cool. But they're they're like-minded. You know, they they're out to have a good time. Love riding, like talking to people, good atmosphere. Some of them look like complete fucking dickheads. Oh yeah. But then you start talking to them and they're actually pretty cool people.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:17

Yeah, you ought to go buy one. Try it out.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:19

Yeah. Everybody buy a motorcycle tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:21

Right. Because you're going to need it come June 6th. June 6th. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:25

You rent them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:27

With an endorsement.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:28

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:29

If you don't have a motorcycle now, you probably don't have an endorsement.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:32

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:32

So.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:33

You can borrow my license. Um. But it is. It's just a ho. I'm so happy that that season's here. I just it's relaxing all at the same time.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:44

I don't know what the weather's gonna be like tomorrow, but it's my day off.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:47

You're gonna ride?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:48

If it's nice out.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:49

It's supposed to be like this.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:50

I do need to get the lawn mode tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:52

I wish somebody would. I tripped coming in.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:54

Oh, quit it.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:57

Couldn't even find the sidewalk.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:58

I am glad that I'm still on my first week of jury duty.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:05

Ain't been called in yet?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:06

Haven't been called to come in yet. Um my biggest fear, as people that listen know, is I did not want to get called in on a fucking prior. Because that was gonna that was gonna really piss me off. Well and somebody was gonna be guilty right off the bat.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:28

It's my Friday, bitch. You're guilty. Fucking guilty. Yep, friar.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:32

Yeah, yeah. So no, I uh I escaped this Friday, so we'll see um what next week brings.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:41

So next Monday through Thursdays your phone Sunday through Thursday, your phone calls. Correct. And then you're done. Yeah. If you don't get called.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:48

But you just look it up online, you don't you don't have to call it.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:51

Yeah, that's crazy. That takes a lot of the fucking pizzazz out of it.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:54

Yeah. No, no, it's it's still just as pizzazz when you go to the website and says check back.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:04

So back in the day when you had to actually call a 800 number to check on an order or talk to customer service, didn't you feel like you were getting more out of the deal when you did that and they spoke English? You know?

SPEAKER_02 1:08:19

Yeah, but then when they quit speaking English, then I feel like I was kind of got fucking left behind. Yeah. I shouldn't have to press one for English.

unknown 1:08:29

No.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:30

So that's press two for a ticket from Delta Airlines to fly your fucking ass back home. Right. That's what it should be. Press one if you're normal, press two if you want to go back home. Yeah. Stop turning our place into a shithole fucking God damn Lansing and all their fucking shootings lately.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:46

Every night.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:47

We gotta get a grip. Every night. We gotta get a grip on that.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:51

And I I don't know why. I don't know what's causing it.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:54

It's I think it's the whole very few people can afford to live the way they have been anymore. Because every I think people are just getting stressed the fuck out.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:08

I don't know. Yeah, I think you're right. You know. But geez, like we get all these people that have a beef with one another, and instead of fucking duking it out, they gotta shoot. They just want to shoot it out.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:21

Let's set the guns down on the hood of the car and do it like old fashioned. Right. You whoop my ass, you win.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:26

I whoop your ass, I win. Right. We need more ass whoopings.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:30

And then when you're getting your ass whooped, do not have 30 of your fucking friends jump on me because you got your ass whooped. Correct. Yeah. Yep. Fair fights. What? We could start doing that too. Setting up fight night? Yeah. Wouldn't that be fun? Fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:49

Fucking kick his ass, C Bass.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:54

Oh, that'd be fun. Yeah. Yeah. We gotta find ourselves a ringer. You know anybody that's a good big big fighter dude? I don't anymore. Yeah. Do you still? Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:05

Yeah. He can be the he can be the referee.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:08

Mac?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:09

Oh yeah, we'll get Mac to do it.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:10

Yeah, Mac will do it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:12

He'd love to do it. I bet he would. Cause as soon as you stop fucking listening, he's going to pump them. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:23

Yeah, and Mac, you fucking responded to the Facebook post, said you're guy that you were going to be on that June 6th ride. I'm going to need you to text the number and put in a head count for me, buddy. 616-5288293. I'm not accepting uh RSVPs over the Facebook. So if you could do that, then we can get you counted.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:46

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:47

That's the only way we can keep track.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:48

And if you're lucky, there'll be a cancuzie left for you.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:52

Fucking God gave him two hands. I think I'll give them two cancuzies.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:57

Um, you could wear one on your dick and we could take a picture. Okay. Yeah. That'll look for that on the website. Yeah. And as we're talking about pictures, um when we were at the maple syrup festival, we took a couple pictures on the tanks. You guys can see them on the the website. Correct. Um it was taken back a little bit. W W2 tank. Yeah. And back then they had those pinup girls. I think you're right. We'd have to read the sign again.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:29

I think it was an M60.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:31

But uh back in that day they were painting girls on everything. Airplane, it didn't matter. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:36

Well pinup girls.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:39

That assistant I got got all crafty on AI, made a pick. Uh-huh. I haven't shared it. I pixelated it to share on Facebook last night. Uh-huh. It was on there for all of 90 minutes, and I got a message from Facebook that they took it down because they could not determine if the pinup girl was a minor or not.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:06

It had a full beard.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:08

It was pixelated though. So you couldn't tell.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:12

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:13

Yeah, so I let them take it off. I was gonna see if I could get enough likes to unpixelate it, and I never got a chance. Fucking meta said.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:22

I see what you did there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:24

Yeah, it was all pixel.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:26

Oh, you goddamn it.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:27

That was a good picture. I was so proud of myself.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:31

I know you were. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:34

Whew.

unknown 1:12:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:36

I think old six speed's gonna get it done Saturday.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:39

Yeah, well, I'm gonna go against my better judgment, and I think I'm just gonna side with Renegade. I mean, everybody's at picking a horse is picking the horse.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:49

Speaking of Saturday. Saturday. Saturday competition. Saturday. You're shooting. Me and Lucas got the old two-gun shooting competition. It'll be the first time for both of us.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:00

I heard him tell you to get ready to basically eat shit, old man. You're blind in one eye and can't see out the other.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:09

That is more or less what was said. In fact, I was I was talking to Brian on the phone earlier today and was talking about that, and he says, he says, Hey, I need to tell you something, and I don't mean to hurt your feelings, and please don't take offense to it. I says, No, no, you're fine. Go ahead, tell me. He says, uh, I'm pretty sure Lucas is gonna kick your ass in this competition. He says, I don't think you can beat him. And I said, Well, I think you're right. My feelings are not hurt, but I'm not gonna let him know he can beat me.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:43

I'm gonna go out on a limb here. Okay. Okay. So you guys go out there. Yep. I am gonna bet that the ride home will go over a lot better if he beats you rather than if you beat him.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:56

Why is that?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:56

I see if you beat him, I see him getting kind of pouty. He'll be a little salty? Yes. Am I picking that correctly?

SPEAKER_02 1:14:05

I don't know. I mean, he's he's a good sport. Yeah, I know. But he know he knows I'm a bad motherfucker. He came from my loins. I made him what he is.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:21

That is the most disgusting thing that a kid ever wants to hear. You know that? Yeah, it is what it is. Your mom's sitting there saying, Bobby, you came right out of here. Doesn't that kind of make you the chili turn over in your belly a little bit? Yeah. Yeah, we don't need to hear that. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:46

No. Um no, I'm I mean, I'm I'm not gonna take it easy on him because Well, you're you're on your own, right? I think there's like sixty or seventy people in this competition.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:56

And it's you against everybody.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:57

That's every man for himself.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:58

Now, do they have team events?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:00

No, I there might be I think there might be some other places.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:05

Because that would be kind of fun. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:07

You know, then you could team up with them and actually, yes, I know there is team events other places, but uh this is this is every man for himself.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:15

What do you win? Just the I don't even know.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:17

Bragging rights? I they keep posting stuff on their Facebook about different companies have sponsored this or sponsored. Oh, so you can get some prizes. So I think there's some prizes at the end, but uh I uh I'm going there to win. I'm going there for me. And uh if he eats my dust, well then he should have done better.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:37

You got your music picked out? No music. Oh, I thought you'd have like an intro.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:42

No, no. Oh no, just show up and shoot it ready, plug away, stand by, beep, yep, and it's and it and it's it's get with it.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:52

That should be fun.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:53

Yeah, there's uh You've never done one. Never. Nope, nope. So this is gonna be a first. That should be fun. I'm excited for it. I'm excited for him to do it. Um lot of people that have watched him perform and all that, they think he's gonna do really well. I think he'll do really well. Do I think he's gonna beat me?

SPEAKER_01 1:16:14

I like the kid, but I'm pulling for you.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:17

I am giving going to go in there and give it everything I have. Do I think I will beat him? I don't know. He's pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:33

But take a picture of that sponsor list. We might need to make phone calls. Yeah, I will.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:38

Um he might beat me. I'd like to see him beat you in a way, but at the same time. Don't need him to get carried away. I need to humble his ass. Yes. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:49

Yeah. Knock him down a level.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:50

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:51

So I'm going in at guns blazing.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:53

You guys each got your own guns you're shooting, or are you sharing?

SPEAKER_02 1:16:57

He's got his pistol, his rifle. I got my pistol, my rifle.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:00

And uh you shooting 22 pistol as well?

SPEAKER_02 1:17:03

No, mine's nine millimeter and uh two two three rifle.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:08

Oh, so it's not like uh Okay, because the other day when you're talking about it, I thought like everybody is gonna be with a 22 or everybody had you bring whatever you want to shoot.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:17

Yeah, he's shooting 22 pistol, 22 rifle. Um, which one of the stages you get to shoot 240 yards from the sniper position. And anybody that knows anything about guns and 22s, a 22 at 200 yards drops roughly 40 inches.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:39

It's almost four feet.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:41

Yeah. So I did have him out practicing at 240 yards, and he's pretty dialed in.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:52

That's kind of cool because there's not very many places you can shoot 240 yards anymore. Yeah, fucking house. You know, that's what's kind of neat.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:01

Yeah, but i if he makes it through that stage, part of the stage at 240 yards with that 22 rifle, that's impressive. And I think he's probably gonna hurt some people's feelings with it.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:16

Which would be better.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:16

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:17

Yeah. Fuck you guys. Yep. You know, now they say a 22 will carry a mile. Oh, yeah. What do you gotta do? Shoot like this?

SPEAKER_02 1:18:25

You'd have to shoot it way up in the air, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:27

Yeah, that'll be interesting to see how you guys come out of that. What time's that on Saturday?

SPEAKER_02 1:18:34

11. Yep, starts at eleven.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:36

Out in uh Hastings. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:38

And then uh then from there we're gonna go uh go watch the old Kentucky Derby.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:44

And then uh when you out by our way? Oakill.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:49

That's May 17th. May 17th. They have spectator chairs? I don't know. I'm gonna find out. You'll have to find out. Yeah, I'll find out.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:58

Because I don't want to go there and have to stand the whole time.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:01

Might do you some good. It's used to sit at the fucking desk all day. Get you some new balance.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:13

No. I'm not that old yet. I like wearing the shoes that hurt your feet.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:18

So this new website that you're working so hard on.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:21

Oh, fuck, yeah, diligently.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:23

Perpetually wrong.com.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:25

Oh, yeah, that's all you gotta do.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:27

That's right. And it takes you right there. You can get right to the podcast from there, you can get right to the events, you can follow up. There should be another event getting posted shortly.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:37

We gotta get that figured out.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:39

We're gonna we're gonna do some work on that. We're gonna do a paintball.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:42

Yeah, we gotta get that figured out.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:44

Um we got some feedback from some of our listeners. They're in. Some people want to come shoot Bob and Brad.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:51

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:53

Good luck.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:54

Good luck.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:55

Good luck. Because I am putting together our team.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:00

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:02

Unless we decide to do a Bob team and a Brad team. Oh. I think that would be really not in your favor. Oh, that would be the way to go. But we can do that. We can do a Bob team, we can do a Brad team. That might be. I pick my team, you pick your team.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:18

I'd put a poll out there to get volunteers, but nobody answers our fucking polls because they suck.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:22

But yeah, I think a Bob and a Brad team would be pretty good because uh you trying to bring in all these fucking dick swingers, and you all end up you might be good with a good with a real gun, but you fucking Oh my God. You'll know every time one of the Bob teams gets shot too. Ow!

SPEAKER_02 1:20:42

You know what? I think that's what we're gonna do. We're gonna do a Bob team and a Brad team for one of the events.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:49

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:50

And then when that one's done, we'll do a Bob and Brad team.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:54

Reconvene.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:55

Yeah. And take on all the listeners.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:58

So what are you gonna do though? Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:02

Because you don't play just one game.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:03

No. You say a Bob and Brad team and taking on all the listeners. Yeah. We we get a team with us, so we get to pick our team. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:11

And then all the others.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:12

Yeah. So you all want to fucking feel bad about yourself and have uh flashbacks of sixth grade. Pick me, pick me shit. They didn't, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:22

That would, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:25

We're gonna do the paintball thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:26

You're gonna take the lead on that, figure it out.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:29

Yes. Yeah. That is that is my department since you're taking the lead on the city.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:34

Yeah, and I will say on the bike ride. Yeah, that that could get messy. Or it could be a hell of a good time. It's gonna be a good time. Um I guess we should probably uh go ahead and say that uh when you're checking into the paintball and you're figuring out a price per person dollar amount, that it's safe to say you can add 10% to that, so me and you play for free.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:04

Oh, we ain't paying.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:05

Okay. Oh, whoops, should have covered this up. Yeah, I think it'd be a good time.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:13

Yeah. So be on the be on the lookout at perpetually wrong.com on the Facebook page, Bob and Brad Perpetually Wrong Facebook page. There will be some things coming up. We are doing a paintball thing. It's gonna come up probably not much after the June 6th ride. It's probably gonna be fairly fairly close.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:34

Quick after that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:35

Um, that and you know, there's a lot of things we got working that we want to do. So and we want to engage. We want to we want to deal with listeners.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:43

We want to my favorite event that's coming up. What's that? Is oh god, I'm still waiting on a snappy fucking term for it, like a title. But basically, who's excited to throw ten dollars in so Brad can get some new motorcycle tires? I cannot wait for that event to come up.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:01

I got it. Let's keep Brad alive. Right, there you go.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:07

Uh oh, we got the blueberry festival coming up. Oh, yeah. Montrose, blueberry festival. What do you eat after blueberries? Cheeseburgers. Yes, you do. Cheeseburger deal coming up.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:18

So you know we could if that ride on June 6th goes good, we could incorporate some of our other the Blueberry Festival and the Cheeseburger Festival into kind of a event. Event, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:29

But let's get to the June 6th one. Paintball's gonna be shortly after that.

unknown 1:23:34

Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:36

And then we'll see what else we got planned. I'm buying a fucking we've got things planned, but we don't want to tell everybody. Yeah.

unknown 1:23:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:45

Secret, secret. I got a secret. Do do do. Do.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:48

And then we gotta work it out so uh these upcoming guests we can get that squared away too. Yeah. I've had a lot of people. One dude, he's five episodes in, he just found out about us and he said, You guys have mentioned the wives twice. Do they come on ever? And I said, Well, listening, motherfucker. We're about to get to 30, so why don't you listen and find out? Yeah. But yeah, people want it because they and I it's gonna be a much more laid-back show than everybody. Everybody's building up like fucking uh WrestleMania, you know. Oh my god, these guys are gonna get divorced from this. No, we won't.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:20

No, you know what it's gonna be. It ain't gonna be WrestleMania, it's gonna be the fucking Royal Rumble.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:24

Yeah. And mean you might be living together for a little while, but that's all right. Then we can podcast every day. Yeah, and I'll order Ida.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:35

We will order Ida. Yeah, we don't need you. Um God, do you think we can turn this into a daily thing?

SPEAKER_02 1:24:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:43

I mean, if WVIC um is out there listening, 94.9 on Lansing, Michigan. Yeah. Um, Bob and Tom are on their way down. They really suck anymore. It's turned into a corporate commercial. Right. So if you guys want to get ahead of the gun here, you should probably call us. We can clean up our language. Well, I can. I can too. You good. I'm glad to hear that. Yeah. Wouldn't that be fun?

SPEAKER_02 1:25:05

They probably won't let us drink beer, though. We can sip coffee in the morning. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:10

Well, I'll have a hot cocoa. I don't like coffee.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:13

Yeah, that'll work.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:14

Um wouldn't that be something?

SPEAKER_02 1:25:17

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:20

Yeah, what do you got?

SPEAKER_02 1:25:21

Um bought me a can of elp today.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:25

Well, good. You're not only talking about it, you're trying it.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:27

For all your uh mountain wintergreen needs, nine milligrams.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:31

Plus nicotine.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:32

And I'll tell you what. Fuck them zins. Zins are stupid, zins are gay, zins are fucking tranny.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:42

Because you can't open the fucking case.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:44

Because they took their fucking stupid idea and they thinned the can down, and then they made it bigger around so it takes up more room in your pocket.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:53

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:53

And then you can't get the fucking linen.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:55

No, it's like a fucking puzzle. Yeah. So those do taste good. Yeah. I will give them that.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:02

Do not buy the sweet nectar elp. I'll flat out tell you that right now. They suck.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:07

What MGs you got there?

SPEAKER_02 1:26:08

These are nine.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:09

Nine.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:10

Nine. I think they go all the way up to 15.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:13

Do you notice with the nine?

SPEAKER_02 1:26:15

Like no. Um anything different? I think these. So a nine milligram elp and a six milligram Zen are different in their own way. These have way more flavor than a Zen does, and they don't come on like full throttle.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:39

They're not hard hitting.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:40

Right. These ones just kind of bring you up and then bring you down. So it's like, bring Sally up. Bring Sally down.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:50

I'm gonna look this up real quick. I got one thing because now that you got on this, I saw something the other day.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:57

Oh I really like the flavor of these mountain wintergreen alps. They're they're spot on.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:03

I got something that I thought about you, and I want you to try them. Alright. I'm listening. Alright. Whoop. Whoop. Hold on, folks. Search. Okay. Where is it at? Uh fucking Christ. You know what?

SPEAKER_02 1:27:24

Oh my god. We gotta get better. How long is this gonna take?

SPEAKER_01 1:27:27

We gotta get better about um uh preparing. Because I had would have had this pulled up and you would have known how uh Johnny Paycheck died. Um not Johnny Paycheck, uh David Ellenco. David Allenco. Did they ever call him D A C Dak? Yeah, hey Dak, hey Dak. Um like um I'm type sometimes I get caught up in Google.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:58

Oh my god. Why don't you just type it in?

SPEAKER_01 1:28:02

And uh Chewbacca. Pouches. Chewbacca. All right, here we are. Alcohol patches. What? Yeah, uh pouches, yes. They That's probably not good. They are these. Really? Yes. You put 'em in your mouth for those that don't want to drink because it's not socially acceptable, they throw a pouch in, an alcohol pouch. They will get you fucked up. Who makes them? Um Booze Chews? Smith and Sinclair. I think that's a terrible idea. You're not getting an open intox on the way home.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:46

No. But you're also gonna put one of them motherfuckers in at work and do piss poor performance. And how are they gonna know?

SPEAKER_01 1:28:56

You know, my buddy, uh Dennis Vickers, he's an older guy. He's retired now, he's 67, 68 years old. Not sure. He used to tell me. Um He is an army brat, he moved around a lot and then he got in truck in and stuff. He's a great guy. He he is. Um He always told me that to be successful, you gotta remember the five P's.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:20

Five?

SPEAKER_01 1:29:21

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:22

Let's see. I don't know them. Never heard them. Let me see if I can come up with them. Um Pussy.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:31

Okay, six P's. Ohper polite planning prevents piss poor performance.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:45

Proper pussy planning prevents poor performance. It does. Six Ps. Six P's. Yeah. Hey, you can take that to the bank.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:57

Remember when we first started doing this, you were concerned about the every time we said that.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:02

That's why I bought these fancy microphones. Yeah, but anywho, you you want to try the Malibu pouches? I'll tell you what. Um putting that one in there.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:11

Yeah. Got you tuned up.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:14

I'm just right.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:15

See, that's weird.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:17

Now imagine if that was an alcohol patch.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:20

No, I don't want that.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:21

With a shot and a beer chaser.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:23

That's a terrible idea. I think it's a great idea. They're expensive as fuck. I do not stand behind this product and I will not agree with it.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:30

What if they called me tomorrow and said, hey, we want to give you guys a thousand dollars a month to uh sponsor you?

SPEAKER_02 1:30:38

Well, send that check, baby. Oh my god, they're the greatest things in slice groups.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:42

I'll be drunk all the time. Uh-huh. Yeah, I was like, who the fuck comes up with this shit?

SPEAKER_02 1:30:47

I don't know, but I put one of these in earlier and I got I I it did it. Built it built me up. Throw another one in.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:56

Where are they made?

SPEAKER_02 1:30:57

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:58

Can I got my glasses on, I still can't read it. Well, you got old eyes.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:02

Put your young kid eyes. I've been drinking, I've had the one in. I just threw another one in with it. And I'm like, man, these are cat's ass. I think I'm gonna buy these.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:14

You should get a pack of fifteens.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:15

I'm gonna I'm I think they're 12s.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:17

You probably save some money.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:19

I'll probably go through less of them. Um boy.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:24

That's a little writing, yeah. Yeah, it is. Yeah, I I gotta imagine they're maybe Delaware. What does Dela wear, man? What does Delaware?

SPEAKER_02 1:31:39

I don't know what she wears.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:41

Have you ever heard that song? Pericomo, what does Dela wear? Look it up, you guys. You'll thank me forever.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:47

Wilmington, Delaware.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:50

They make a lot of stuff in Wilmington. Have you noticed that?

SPEAKER_02 1:31:54

No, I've never heard of it.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:55

Oh. Well, never mind then.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:00

But what I do know is I like them. There's no tobacco in them, and that's my new go-to right here.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:08

You know, Jason Witt, if you would have just taken a picture of this lid, you would have saved us both the embarrassment of you acting like uh know it all dad and me uh treating me like a five-year-old that knows nothing. But yes, nicotine is an addictive chemical.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:26

Yes. I stand corrected. I thought the tobacco was addictive. The tobacco is. No, it's just like caffeine.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:35

Right?

SPEAKER_02 1:32:35

It's like fentanyl. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:38

Yeah. Whew. I just had CPR training yesterday.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:44

Trish just did that last Friday. I had it today.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:46

Look at your yesterday. Um, and then you're safer knowing this. It's CPR, first aid, the whole conglomerate of all that.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:55

I fall off the bike, tear a fucking hole in my leg. Uh the the arteryl femoral.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:01

I'm gonna tear the kid the fuck out of that.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:03

Can you? Yes. You know how? Absolutely. Do you carry one with you?

SPEAKER_02 1:33:06

In the side by side I do. Do you? Yep. Because I thought that in the side by side, you're out in the middle of the woods. Right. You're on a trail. Right. They do flip over, they do crash, it happens.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:21

Blue Ridge Mountain Parkway. There we were.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:26

There's nobody around.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:28

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:29

When you fell down and you ruptured your fetemeral artery, you would have bled out right in front of my eyes, and I'd be like, buddy, what can I do?

SPEAKER_02 1:33:39

Because Kelly knows how to do a tourniquet.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:41

With just bare hands?

SPEAKER_02 1:33:43

You rip a fucking shirt apart and you fucking and you fucking.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:46

You had a new shirt on, dude. I ain't letting her rip that.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:50

There's probably a shirt in the trunk. Anyway, you give up something, you wrap that fucker up, you tie it as tight as you can, and you find a stick or something solid, you stick it in there, and you're twisting it.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:02

Like a key.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:02

Yep. And then you call 911 before you start. Well, you do that before you start the tourniquet.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:08

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:09

Get them coming quick.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:10

Now that we're talking about that, I think that them girls should learn how to drive a motorcycle in case one of us gets hurt. Or drunk. Or you would take way too much advantage of that. Ah, she drives a truck home every night. What's the difference in the bike? Right. But they should. I think that if to be a responsible fucking person, you should learn it. I agree. Um so you carry one in the side by side. I do. But not in the bike.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:39

No.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:40

How much do they cost?

SPEAKER_02 1:34:41

They're not much. We should we actually should have them.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:44

You should buy one.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:45

Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:46

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:48

My odds of me getting hurt when I'm not riding with you are slim to none. You bring out the stupid in me. Do that with a lot of people. When I say mom, it's Bob's fault, I really mean that. And she believes it. Yeah, she better. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:06

Oh, we we had a little good little race the other day on the bikes. Headed to Pewammel.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:13

We gotta work that out so we both know it's coming.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:21

Because it's tough because I'll get the jump, you'll get the jump, and it's kind of like you're just chasing a buttons.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:26

See, your your bike is more hopped up than my bike. And it's carrying less weight because now you've you've lost you've lost quite a few pounds. You know how many pounds I've lost? How many?

SPEAKER_01 1:35:37

Just officially yesterday I hit fifty. No shit. I did. Well, you look good. Yeah, I don't feel good. Anywho, I should technically be a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:50

And I'll tell you, we started at Jones Road in Grand River, if anybody knows where that is, which most of our listeners do. We were headed to the never eat stinky women west towards Eagle, and he got the jump on me. No. And never looked back. If there were no stop signs, no stoplights, no traffic in the way, and we kept going west on Grand River, I have no doubt in my head that by the time we passed the airport, I would have passed you.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:18

Only because you don't have a speed limiter and I do.

unknown 1:36:23

Huh.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:24

Perhaps. Call it what you want.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:27

Perhaps. Yes. And when we get to that point and you're going bang, I'm going. Actually, probably not, because when we're going that fast, I'm more.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:38

You know, I don't even know where my bike cuts out at. I've never got it there yet.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:43

I'm betting 102 or 112.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:46

No, it's not 102 because I was past. You've been over that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:49

112? I've been over 110. But I don't know where it cuts out at.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:54

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:55

A stock Harley.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:56

And you can't ask people because everybody's got a different number.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:59

My my 17 that I had, I took that to the cutout, and I think it was like 112. But I don't know if they've changed anything.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:09

You had your truck to uh your truck topped out where it cut us out? Yeah. What's it cut out? 100. Oh, no way. And why do they make them all different? I don't know. Bikes are different, cars are different. You could have the same car and yours is going better than mine. You looking it up or you want me to?

SPEAKER_02 1:37:26

I'm looking it up.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:27

Okay. I'm guessing probably 117 then. Um, I'm a little hot dogs, move a little quicker. We'd we'd have an answer by now.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:44

Doing the best I can.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:45

It looks like a pack of ballparts on the end of an arm.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:50

Uh 56 to 5800 RPM.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:54

Yeah, rev limiter.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:55

Yeah, I didn't ask for the fucking rev limiter.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:57

Try governor. If they fucking Whitmer pops up, kick her in the fucking teeth. That bitch should take away the fuel tax for a couple of weeks. Let us get a little reprieve. Jesus Christ, folks. I apologize for the delay. We are still on. We didn't forget to say goodnight. Um, let me look it up here.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:29

Top speeds for 2024 Harley Davidson motorcycles generally range from 105 to 130. With most touring models, Street Glide, Road Glide, electronically limited to 107 to 112.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:42

Yeah, I said 112.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:44

To ensure stability.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:45

Can I speak on behalf of that last comment you just said?

SPEAKER_02 1:38:49

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:50

When you've got the street glide, who the fuck's buying that ugly ass fucking road glide?

SPEAKER_02 1:38:56

It doesn't do anything for me.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:58

It's like getting an ugly girlfriend and just saying, ah, she'll wear on me.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:02

So this says that it's that it's limited to 107, which I know I was past. That's wrong, we've been past. Yeah, so that Maury determined that was.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:14

That was a lie. Yeah. Yeah. It's hard to say. And what I'll tell you what we'll do. You know what? I got a speed limit thing in Westphalia right now. Um it flashes when you're going above and it tells you the speed.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:27

We could leave and just have somebody block off the intersection.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:32

Just so what I'm going to do. You need another beer? Uh no, I'm good. Um I mean, yeah. All right. Come on, go grab a beer. Yeah, go grab a speed. Tell me what we're gonna do. What we're gonna do is I'm gonna I got my little phone holder right there. GG so I can see. I'm gonna GPS it and see where where my speedometer is at that top speed versus what my GPS on my phone says, because I think the phone is pretty accurate. So I think we'll uh we'll do that and we'll go from there and we'll see what it does.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:07

Um the thing is though, is when you're driving that fast.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:11

You don't really take your eyes off the road. Right. So I'll have Kelly. You don't have to have Kelly watch it. Yeah, you tell me what the high score is.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:18

Yes. Yeah, tell me when we're there and it stops moving.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:22

Right. When you feel them, when you feel the bike go, see what it says. Yeah. Tell me what we're registering. I did notice so. And if we're real lucky, the cop will be behind us and he'll tell us what we're gonna do.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:35

He'll tell us if it's accurate. Yeah. Well, my GPS said 72.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:41

Well, your GPS is wrong.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:42

Well, it's not my fault.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:44

In the back of the car.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:45

Yeah, they'll put you there quick. Although I got pulled over by that one when we were leaving Luddington. And uh, you know, how fast you're going. I says, Oh, a little bit, maybe 65, 70, a little better than that. I said, Oh 75 or 80. And he says, Yeah, a little better than that. And I says, then I honestly don't know. You should probably tell me. And he says, Why are you in such a hurry? And I said, Well, I was trying to get around, it was a passing lane.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:13

You should have pulled your head off and see it, said, See all this hair, these locks. Yeah, she's gonna be able to do that. I wanted to feel the wind go through them. She said that was the only way I was gonna get any pussy tonight.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:22

I can't wait to call that kid for a haircut.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:25

Yeah. But anywho, he let me go.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:27

Yeah, he says, Why are you going so fast? And I said, I'm trying to pass this guy in the fast line uh before the passing lane ends. And he says, Oh, I saw what you were doing. Then why'd you ask? That's what I wanted to say, but don't I just said, Well, yeah, and he says, uh, well, you know, I ride a lot too. Uh-huh. And I said, Oh, no shit, what do you got? And he told me, and we're talking, and he says, just take it easy. There's a lot of lot of deer up here this time of year. And he says, I don't I don't want to get a call. I'm on I'm on shift till 6 a.m. So if you're gonna be really stupid and hit something rather than sit here with your dead body for four hours. Oh, I appreciated it.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:01

Yeah. And he let you go.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:02

He did. He'd like you have a good job.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:04

You know, and that's the thing is I've been pulled over so many times, and I treat the cop with respect. And I just say, hey. He's just, you know why I pulled you over? I said, I was probably going a little fast. Yeah, you were. And then and he said, I'm I'm sorry, wasn't paying attention, listen to music, talking. I wasn't looking down the speedometer.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:30

I'm at fault.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:32

I get it.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:32

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:37

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:37

You know?

SPEAKER_02 1:42:38

I don't say that to them, but and if you're if you're respectful to them and you're not trying to lie to them, because they've heard every fucking.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:45

Nine out of ten times they'll let you go. Yeah. Well, I hit number 10 in Grashett County, you can suck a fucking fat cock. Fucking stellar, not a ticket in 20 years. And that fucker said, I'm ending this.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:00

Well, you know, but on average, if you're disrespectful and you're done and you're decent to them, they get dealt with. They deal with so many fucking idiots. These motherfuckers. Am I being detained? Am I being detained? Shut the fuck up. You were you got pulled over because you were doing something wrong.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:20

License and registration. I need a lawyer. You deserve to be dragged the fuck out of there.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:25

Absolutely. And you fucking billy clubbed right on the fucking side of the road. Yes, sir. Rodney king that motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:30

Just bam, bam. I can't breathe. I know.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:34

Well, if you're talking, you're breathing, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:37

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:38

So that's a lie.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:42

Yeah, I'm not getting into that.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:44

Yeah, don't. I'm more interested in looking up these uh rosemary girls.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:50

Oh, goddamn, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:52

I think I'm gonna see if there's one that trips my trigger.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:56

Oh, trips your trigger. I'm sure there's probably several. They got anime too, if that's what you're into.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:02

I don't know. That doesn't like to be.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:04

These girls that put them little fairy ears in. What the fuck? I don't want that.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:08

Show me your butthole. Right. No Charmin, I might lick it.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:14

There's no Dingleberries that we're in.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:19

Oh, I don't like a girl with a hairy butthole.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:21

I don't think I've ever had one. Oh, really?

SPEAKER_01 1:44:24

I've run into a few and it's just like girlfriend.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:26

Pluck that motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:27

Yeah. Nair it something. I thought I was gonna get some and I ended up sitting there with a pair of tweezers for three hours. And while you're while you're fucking putting the nail on there, bleach that ugly motherfucker. And didn't you know buttholes are all different shapes? Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:40

You know, everybody some have more spokes than others.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:42

Well, when you grow up, it's yeah. Yeah, it's what it looks like. Well, no, some of them are just like a eyelid.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:48

Some are yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:49

Yeah. Like your belly button. Do you know what yours looks like? No. I have no idea.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:54

No.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:55

No.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:55

Um get out on camera and well now we're at a kind of a crossroads. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:02

Do we say goodnight and turn off the camera, then go get the mirror? Or do we just go ahead and show God and everybody?

SPEAKER_02 1:45:10

I don't know. I ain't scared. I don't know. Let us know what you think. You know, speaking of that, mirror and butthole, um guy I knew growing up. I was just a little kid. Somebody started talking about crabs.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:23

And uh like the itchy ones? Yeah, like crab.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:27

You ever had that? No. God, no. And uh they said, Well, my grandpa has told me if you get crabs, pull your pants down, hover over a mirror, and they'll jump to the other asshole, which is the mirror, and then they get away from you, you're done. You ain't no more crabs. You think that works? No, probably not, but I guess if I had crabs, I'd try.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:52

I would too, huh? But crabs are just lice that are in the or are they different?

SPEAKER_02 1:45:57

I don't know. I've never had it. I don't either. Never never been never been interested in finding out. Saber toothed crotch crickets.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:08

But wouldn't you just eraser just take care of them?

SPEAKER_02 1:46:11

Well, if they got nothing to cling on to, then they're gone, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:46:14

Yeah. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:15

You get headlights, shave your fucking head.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:17

Do you think that's what happened? There were so many crabs fucking spread in the 70s and 80s that that's why everybody started shaving.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:23

I don't know. But I will tell you right now.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:25

Would you eat one of them fur burgers? They had to stink, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:33

They smell like piss.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:35

They had to.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:36

They do. Oh, you've been in one. They do. God damn motherfuckers smell like nobody wants a hairy pussy. God damn it. Kids are getting into it again. It's coming back. You go to the fucking porn site and you're like, oh, here like, no, that's a good one. No, who am I blaming them?

unknown 1:46:55

Who?

SPEAKER_01 1:46:56

Morgan Wallen with the mustache. He brought back the mustache. And now all these bitches want fucking hair pie. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:04

No.

unknown 1:47:04

No.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:05

I like his music, man. Like, if you get a little fucking cutesy little fucking landing strip or something, I can look past that. But god damn it, shave that fucking beaver.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:17

Nobody likes a hairy fucking pussy. No. And if you do, you're fucking it's good.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:24

Like, ooh, it's a heart. Ooh, it's a Playboy Money. Ooh, it's a landing chip. I'd rather be nothing. I want.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:29

Yeah. Yeah. When I slide my toe across the back.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:31

If you like nothing, then you like little girls. Shut up, fucker. That's a whole different world, you fucking fuck.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:37

You fucking pedophile. God. But a fucking nice, freshly waxed or shaved fucking beaver. God damn. It's like licking your tongue across the glass top. It is. Yeah, but tastes better.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:50

I wouldn't lick this glass top, no offense. Yeah, it's uh I don't like the fact that, you know, everything comes back. Fucking bell bottoms. Yeah, but not mom jeans, but not hair. Don't do hair pussy. Just take care of it. And dudes. Oh yeah. Yeah. Dude, we're watching this show the other night, euphoria. I gotta watch that. You got to. And there's this dude on there. I mean, first off, if I'm getting my dick out on a TV show or a movie, you're giving me a big dick.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:23

Because I am not gonna technology for that.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:28

Yeah, you don't need to, yeah. But this guy's got this bush. Gross. And you wonder why she won't suck it, dude?

SPEAKER_02 1:48:37

Yeah. Well, did you know? Do you shave? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah, nobody wants that.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:43

Oh, does it get bad?

SPEAKER_02 1:48:44

Well, no, because I don't let it.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:47

But it would.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:48

Well, I'm sure it would. It did when I was a kid.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:50

What's winning in a race? Your balls or your fucking eyebrows?

SPEAKER_02 1:48:55

Oh, my eyebrows. Those numbers are on point. Which is crazy. I don't understand that. But but the thing is.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:01

Bob's eyebrows grow really, really fast. They do.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:03

And long. Yeah. But I'll tell you how much I'll tell you what. If you want to, if you want to get in a dick measuring contest, I got. I don't even want to give out the number. I got 18 inches.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:20

From what? Middle of your spine?

SPEAKER_02 1:49:22

Measuring from my asshole out. That's how I was taught to measure the motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:29

Here, hold this, babe. And that's a weird thing, too. Why do guys get so hung up on deck size? You know, there ain't I've never heard a group of girls say, Oh, well, Doris, mine are tighter than yours.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:44

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:45

That's the 1,500 guys that just came before. You know, you don't hear that. But guys get hung up on it. I don't understand why.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:51

It's not the size of the ship, it's the motion in the ocean.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:54

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:55

But why?

SPEAKER_02 1:49:56

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:57

I don't want a Pringle can.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:58

Well, and so. I obviously drive a 2500 pickup with a diesel.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:05

Yeah. And people are like, And you're a pretty tall guy, so it's got to be the short deck thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:11

No, I'm fucking 5'10, motherfucker. I ain't that tall. But everybody's like, or well, not everybody, but people are like, oh yeah, trying to compensate for that. No, motherfucker. I haul heavy equipment around. I haul fucking campers around. Like, I use my truck. Ask your mom. She was spending the back. Yeah. Yeah. And she choked on it. So take that, motherfucker. Fucking people.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:34

I will say that's the greatest thing about my recently lost weight. Yeah. Is Trish don't think she's quite the porn star. She used to hit her nose on my belly. Oh, not no more. Not no more, girl. Take it deeper. That's right. You do have some good sounds.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:53

I do. I'm good at it. Are we wrapping things up? Yeah, I think we'll wrap it up now.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:56

Um hold on. Let me look at my list quick here.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:58

Oh, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:59

I do have one thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:00

Oh, one more thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:02

To all of you that are listening to this on May the first, and if you've made it this far into the show. Oh, thank you very much. We appreciate you. But uh tomorrow is World Laughter Day. Oh. And I hope that maybe in the last how long have we been on this?

SPEAKER_02 1:51:18

Uh hour and fifty-two minutes.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:20

Hopefully in the last hour and fifty-two minutes, you did laugh once or twice.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:24

So happy world. Laughter day. Yeah. I know I'm gonna laugh tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:29

Hashtag me too. Or pound me too. All right. So on that note, we're gonna wrap things up. And as always, stay positive, test negative, and we'll catch you next week. Good night.