Episode XL

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

You're hanging out with Bob and Brad. Two guys with too many moods, too many tapes, and not nearly enough facts. Welcome to Bob and Brad. Perpetually wrong. Welcome everybody. It is a uh another Roman numeral episode, isn't it, Brad?

SPEAKER_01 0:21

Just like me, Excel.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

Yeah, me too. Yeah. In the shirt, not the pants. Well, yeah. Well, the pants. Well, shit. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Underwear. I'm large.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

Uh large.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

Yeah. Isn't that weird?

SPEAKER_02 0:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Couple of bigger guys, and we're wearing large couple of portly fellows. I uh ordered extra large ones and they started slipping down as my pants would come down. Yeah. Yeah. How do you do with your pants every day? Do your pants stay up where they're supposed to be every day? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:53

Because I wear a fucking belt.

SPEAKER_01 0:54

Well, okay. So my question with that is the other day I realized that if I pulled my pants up where you're supposed to wear them, and then I tightened my belt, they'll fall right down. So where where do you put your pants? Are they supposed to be above your hip bones or below your hip bones? Or even with your hip bones?

SPEAKER_02 1:12

I put them at the bottom of my gut.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

Where's your gut at? A little higher than it was three weeks ago.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

That's true. Um it's right about in line with my hip bones.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

And that's where you fasten her down at?

SPEAKER_02 1:26

Yeah. But I don't I don't wear a lead dress. I mean, if you talk to an old duffer, they got them all up their fucking belly button. No, I don't. I just wear them where they're comfortable.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

How far would you say your belly button is from your deck?

SPEAKER_02 1:47

The tip or the sha the base? The base. Oh. Oh, I don't know. Uh good six, eight inches. Now the tip, belly button to tip, it's probably about 42 inches.

SPEAKER_01 2:04

Christ, on a soft day. Yeah, I because all our belly buttons ain't in the same spot.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

I don't think. Don't know. I've never really uh nipples are. I'm not a belly button kind of sort of know that their nipples are not in the same spot. I've seen chicks that had their nipples pointing to the sky, I've seen them pointing to the ground, but I've seen them pointed straight out.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

That's all about how well do we take care of ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 2:32

Well, I think I think time and gravity have something to do with that.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

Well, yeah, that too. But you know, okay, a girl that wears a braver since she grew boobs. Well her boobs when all of a sudden you take her bra off, will they tend to stay more there than a girl that's never worn a bra in her life? Because they've always been supported? Right. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 2:58

That's a question. That's a question for an expert, and I'm not an expert.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

That is something that we should probably look into getting some volunteers to help with the study.

SPEAKER_02 3:10

Yes. If you want to be part of a beta test.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

A beta test, yeah. Because we're not ready to go live.

SPEAKER_02 3:17

Send a message to perpetuarong.com. I think go to the website, send a message to the show, and if you want to be considered in the uh beta testing, yeah, fill out. This is the subject line.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

Type in beta boob may beta my boobs.

SPEAKER_02 3:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

You alpha dogs. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 3:45

How's your week been? Oh my god. I didn't think it was ever gonna end. This has been like the longest week in the history.

SPEAKER_01 3:54

But do your weeks go like my weeks do? Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, this fucking sucks. Then come Thursday, all of a sudden it's like, God, that was a quick week. You know what I mean? Sometimes they're that way.

SPEAKER_02 4:05

No, usually by the end of the day on Monday, I'm like, fuck, it's been a long week.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

Ah.

SPEAKER_02 4:12

I still got three more days of this shit.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

Fuck, three more days in what, 30 years?

SPEAKER_02 4:17

Ugh. Probably have to work until I'm dead.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

Um, if that's the case, I hope I die soon.

SPEAKER_02 4:24

Not me. I got too many things to go.

SPEAKER_01 4:27

Got a lot to do. We're still young. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:30

We've got a lot of a lot of hare-brained ideas that we gotta fulfill.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

Speaking of hare brained ideas, yeah. How's your ass doing from that shot?

SPEAKER_02 4:38

You know, the bruising is spread. The hole is still there. The open wound. Did it scab and it hasn't scabbed over yet? It's really not scabbing over. I think you just fucking laid it open so bad it won't.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

Nothing to grab.

SPEAKER_02 4:53

Yeah. Uh it doesn't hurt. Even to touch it, it doesn't hurt. Not a big deal. It's tender, but it doesn't hurt.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

Now, if he would have gave me the full blown model, do you think that would have went further into your skin?

SPEAKER_02 5:10

I don't think it would have done much different, to be honest with you. I I think it would have hit a little harder, but I don't think it would have done any more damage.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

Now that we have a test subject, you know we're gonna have to shoot you with the big gun.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

I appreciate you saying subject instead of dummy.

SPEAKER_01 5:28

Yeah, no, no, fuck no, there's nothing dumb about that. All I saw was when I saw you walk down there ready to be shot, uh-huh. I the only thing going through my head was saving Private Ryan. Watching them doors fall down and those guys just running out there. That's what I saw. I saw a hero. I didn't see a dummy.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

30,000 people would say different.

SPEAKER_01 5:56

If you don't know what we're talking about, uh Berna is a gun, non-lethal gun manufacturer that shoots hard, basically hard ping pong balls.

SPEAKER_02 6:07

Yeah, a little smaller than a ping pong ball, but solid. Like a marble size. Yeah, like a shooter.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

Marble shooter. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 6:14

Um, solid plastic.

SPEAKER_01 6:17

That guy! Can I shoot my buddy? He'll let you shoot him. No waivers, no nothing. Nothing.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

What the fuck? If he's dumb enough to let you shoot him, I'm happy enough to watch.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

Oh, everybody says your aim sucked. Well, I didn't want to take my buddy out in the spinal bifida.

SPEAKER_02 6:36

Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:37

And I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

And I looked at the back side of you, and oddly enough, your most cheeky part is your butt.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:43

Yeah. You don't have a lot of back to hit.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

Nope.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

You know?

SPEAKER_02 6:47

Not what these kids would call a big back.

SPEAKER_01 6:49

No, not at all. So, I mean, it was either your your ass, graze it, or right into the calves. Back of the knee, that would have hurt like a motherfucker. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:59

Yeah. So it did put a hole in my shorts. It did put a hole in my underwear. And it did put a hole in my skin. Um.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

So for those that don't want a real gun because that's uncomfortable, would you suggest that as being a practical self-defense mechanism?

SPEAKER_02 7:21

Yes. I would.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

Especially if you bop that trigger a couple times per year.

SPEAKER_02 7:25

And you shot them like in the stomach or something where it's gonna really hurt. Um the cool thing is with those is you need no permit. You felons out there, you can buy them. Um Go boys. You there's there's no rules or regulations that stop you from carrying it.

SPEAKER_01 7:46

Until the first motherfucker takes one in the temple and dies.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

Um but what I will say as a warning or disclaimer? Disclaimer, yes. Is if you pull that out and there's somebody with a real gun around, you might get your ass shot. You might get shot because it looks just like a pistol.

SPEAKER_01 8:10

Buy the orange version, don't buy the black version.

SPEAKER_02 8:13

Yeah, I think they come in pink too, don't they?

SPEAKER_01 8:14

Yeah, they do. So that's a good point. But that's a very good point. You pull that out, somebody might pull one that's really throwing shit out.

SPEAKER_02 8:25

Yeah. So but if you're a woman and you walk through the parking lot alone and you're scared or you're worried, by all means, I think you should have one. If you do if you're not comfortable carrying a gun, you carry that thing and you practice out in your backyard with it, and somebody comes at you and approaches you, and they're aggressive, and you pop them with that a couple rounds, they're gonna leave you alone.

SPEAKER_01 8:53

You know, and be honest with you, that might be a better route to go than a real gun just from the legal bullshit that you're gonna because you're gonna get arrested. You shoot somebody with a real gun, it don't matter, you're going to jail. Even if you're in the right, you're still gonna use it. You're gonna be there for a day or two.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

So really, they wouldn't take you with this because motherfucker's still alive and he just screaming.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

Yeah. Chances are the motherfucker ran away and don't want to be around.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

Right.

SPEAKER_02 9:20

Because that doesn't feel good.

SPEAKER_01 9:22

Yeah, they'll try to rape somebody else.

SPEAKER_02 9:24

Not you.

SPEAKER_01 9:25

That girl's got balls that hurt. And I imagine you pick your balls up, it's just reload, you just pop them back in, right?

SPEAKER_02 9:31

Yeah, I think so.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:32

Yeah. So and pretty neat product. They do make balls that shoot pepper spray. Like when they hit, they're like paint balls and they pepper spray.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

Somebody asked me about that. Why didn't you shoot them with the pepper one?

SPEAKER_02 9:44

They didn't have it there, and I'd have killed you.

SPEAKER_01 9:45

That would have been bullshit.

SPEAKER_02 9:46

I'd have been pissed.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:48

Yeah. Oh, and then Dan, a buddy of ours that went with us.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

Um Angus like a cow, right?

SPEAKER_02 9:56

Yep. He says, Well, I don't know why he didn't shoot you again and again and just unload the thing on you. I says, Well, that would not have been very nice. And if he'd have done that, I'd probably have come out and fucking tackled him.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

I would have had to put the table back in between us until you calm down. Yeah, yeah, Dan, it's because I'm a nice guy. He is if somebody's gonna let you shoot him, you don't take advantage of that. You take a shot, you're done.

SPEAKER_02 10:23

So that was your first time meeting Danny. Yeah, pretty cool, pretty cool guy.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

Yeah, his wife's awesome. Yep, Danny and Rebecca.

SPEAKER_02 10:30

He is very funny. He's he's got a real good sense of humor. He's real good guy. Pretty funny, dude.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

You guys should all meet him.

SPEAKER_02 10:39

Yeah. Uh everybody should meet him. Yeah. He's not everybody's cup of tea.

SPEAKER_01 10:46

Um I imagine not. Yeah. You know, people say we're kind of hard to sometimes get along with just because of the way we are. But if we brought him everywhere, we'd look good.

SPEAKER_02 11:00

Yeah. Yeah.

unknown 11:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

Fuck.

SPEAKER_02 11:06

Um anyway, so the video, anybody wants to see it in the aftermath. It's it's everywhere. It's everywhere. It's on the it's on the social media platforms.

SPEAKER_01 11:17

Um, it's actually on one of the bike time things too. Somebody commented with a picture of your ass.

SPEAKER_02 11:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

And then somebody later on commented with a little video clip. And I'm kind of curious.

SPEAKER_02 11:29

Oh, I didn't see that.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

Yeah, they're I I can't find it anymore without going through all the comments and all their posts. I ain't got that kind of commitment. But it's kind of cool.

SPEAKER_02 11:37

Well, you should have tagged me in it.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

My problem is I can't. If I'm looking at it on our Facebook page, I can't tag people. If I'm looking at it on my personal page, and that's where I ran into the uh issue I had, I went to my personal page to find it. It was like, yeah, fuck.

SPEAKER_02 11:55

Um like a fart in the wind.

SPEAKER_01 11:57

Yeah, but girls, buy one.

SPEAKER_02 12:00

Yeah. How old you gotta be to own one on them?

SPEAKER_01 12:02

I don't know. Eighteen, I imagine. How old you gotta be to own pepper spray?

SPEAKER_02 12:07

Probably eighteen.

SPEAKER_01 12:08

Eighteen? So I would imagine that's the same thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:10

Uh but no, it's it's a great tool if you're not comfortable carrying a real life pistol.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

For what it's worth, I'd rather have my gun go off and shoot myself in the balls with a real one rather than the uh fake one because the hospital will give me drugs for that. If I shoot myself in the balls with the fake ball, they're just gonna be like, dumb fuck. So I mean, you gotta weigh it out.

SPEAKER_02 12:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:39

Um, but yeah, no. I think it's a great product. I think they got the right idea.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Um the only ones making them too, right?

SPEAKER_02 12:48

They're the only ones I know of. Yeah. Uh it's B Y R N A burner. You a lot a lot of people will see the commercial be like, I'm glad I got the banana in my purse. I'm glad I'm carrying my banana today. I still haven't seen that. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

Do that again. Spoil it again.

SPEAKER_02 13:07

B Y R N. Anyway, um a lot of people are like, why'd you let him do it? And I said, Well, I really don't know. It was stupid.

SPEAKER_01 13:27

Six bush lights, hoped.

SPEAKER_02 13:29

But honestly, I have zero regrets doing it. And you did it. And I if I had to redo it, I still would have taken the shot. Fuck yeah. Um that just goes to show my dedication to this podcast for trying to promote it, get views, trying the whole nine yards. So then a lot of people are like, well, you know, obviously you're all in and you're dedicated. What about Brad? Nothing ever happens to Brad.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

So see, that's where our age difference comes in.

SPEAKER_02 14:09

No, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:11

You got young and wild, full of fun, and you got been there, don't want to go there again. But you've never been there. Settle down. You've never been there. But you know, ten years ago I would have said, yeah, shoot me in the fucking ass. So now it's my heart condition.

SPEAKER_02 14:30

That doesn't have any effect on you.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

There's a lot of things I can't do because of my heart condition. Well, I'll get a note from Dr. Carly if you don't believe me.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

So I went and bought one.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

You didn't.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

And all the people want to see you get a shot. So when you're least expecting it.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

That would be I think that would be worse.

SPEAKER_02 14:55

I'm gonna get you.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Wouldn't that be worse? For you, not me. But you at least knew so you could tighten up them cheeks. Tighten up a little bit. Now you would have taken one right into the loose flopper. Worse yet, right into the asshole, and you would have had to go to the colon doctor to get it pulled out. But as you can see. You're fine.

SPEAKER_02 15:18

I'm fine.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

So But you don't have a heart condition.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

You don't either. You might when I'm done. So wait for it. You never know.

SPEAKER_01 15:30

Oh. Of all the things you could do, that would be a shocker. You know, especially if you did it from like 20 yards away, and I'm just like sitting there sipping on a beer, and all of a sudden I think I got a sciatic nerve problem because I'm whoa.

SPEAKER_02 15:50

You're pulling out a marble sized fucking BB out of your ass cheek.

SPEAKER_01 15:54

Now that's something I will not take. Shoot me with the burner gun, I'll do that. Shoot me with a BB gun? No. Not the BB guns they got nowadays.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

Yeah, no, they're they're way more powerful than they used to be.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 16:05

But anyway, so that was that was a little fun moment during the weekend that we had.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

Um how about that fucking bikini girl that won? Oh, yeah. Kelly something or Kelly Lynn? I don't know. I didn't catch her name. Whoo, smoking.

SPEAKER_02 16:20

56-year-old woman won the bikini contest.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

And that 56-year-old woman put them 20-year-olds to shame. Ten times better, 20. Yep. That girl got she she does, she puts in some work. So congratulations to her.

SPEAKER_02 16:39

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

And while we're congratulating contest winners.

SPEAKER_02 16:43

Might as well bring up old Gary Strong.

SPEAKER_01 16:45

Fucking right.

SPEAKER_02 16:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

Muskegon's own, I believe.

SPEAKER_02 16:48

I believe so. Yep. Uh he did a great job with his outfit.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

He did. Um, how long do you figure he's been growing that?

SPEAKER_02 17:00

I don't know. But the only reason he didn't get first, or it didn't get second, is because I wasn't there to be able to in time to be able to uh show him what was up.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

We keep talking about it. So you need next year. One, lay back on the weight loss a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

So we can get you in next year.

SPEAKER_02 17:22

And the only problem is, is I I have a winning idea and I guarantee it would win. The problem with it is that I told Gary what I was gonna do.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

Oh, what if there's two of you doing it?

SPEAKER_02 17:36

And I don't need him stealing my ID.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

Well, Gary wants to come on the show. He does. And we welcome him. We're gonna figure out a time to get him on sometime before summer's over so we can go for a bike ride up there.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

He's a pretty funny guy.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

He is. We'll meet him. He's I heard he was gonna bring a friend or two with him. Yep. So we'll we'll see. But uh we'll make him sign something. You can't do Bob's idea.

SPEAKER_02 18:01

Non-compete?

SPEAKER_01 18:01

Yeah.

unknown 18:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

NDA.

SPEAKER_02 18:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

Whatever they call it.

SPEAKER_02 18:05

Whatever. We'll get our attorneys to draw it up.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:09

And we'll go from there.

SPEAKER_01 18:10

Yeah, pretty good guy. He was. He was actually pretty cool.

SPEAKER_02 18:13

He hung out with us for a little while chit-chatting and all that.

unknown 18:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

He deserved it.

SPEAKER_02 18:19

Yeah. He I mean he was he had a dad bod. He had it going on.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

A big dad bod. Um.

SPEAKER_02 18:25

And then right after that, not my dad.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

I don't know what he looked like.

SPEAKER_02 18:28

When I got to uh get into a push-up competition against the fucking army gang.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

Oh yeah, G.I. Joe. Yeah. He doubled up on you.

SPEAKER_02 18:37

He didn't double.

SPEAKER_01 18:38

He was close. No. I mean. He was also 30 years younger than me. And he's built for it.

SPEAKER_02 18:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:44

Yeah. But I tell you, I tell everybody, I'm impressed by Bob's fucking uh push-up abilities.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

Yep. I was pushing the old cat right up off the ground. Something more important over there, or yeah, goddamn.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

I got at work I got three fucking guys that all thought they had to take the same fucking vacation days, so I got three people filling in.

SPEAKER_02 19:11

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_01 19:12

And they're all good people. They are. But fill-ins require babysitting.

SPEAKER_02 19:20

There are no Rudeos.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

No, they are not. That's for sure. Yep, that motherfucker ain't getting another day off till I find a different job.

SPEAKER_02 19:29

Did uh did he get his shitter taken care of? Yep, yep, yep.

SPEAKER_01 19:34

Good, good. Yep. His thumb stinks a little bit, but you gotta keep it in when you can't stop.

SPEAKER_02 19:39

Hey, a plug's a plug. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Well, you can tell them you'll be with them in about an hour.

SPEAKER_01 19:47

Oh yeah. So yep, I ain't got time for this. Um sit on the side of the road.

SPEAKER_02 19:51

But bike time was fun. Had a great time. A little group of a small group of us went. I'd like to bring that up too. What's that?

SPEAKER_01 19:58

Okay. Hey Bob, what'd you do this weekend? Do you tell people you went to bike time or do you tell people you went to Rebel Road? I tell them I went to bike time. I do too.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

Because I think bike time is the overall umbrella of what it is.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

I think that's where it's w what started, right? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 20:16

I don't know. I don't know. But Rebel Road is just a part. It's like a uh suburb. It's a suburb of bike time.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

Yeah. Yeah. And bike time is done by Harley. Yeah. Rebel Road is done by a bunch of rebels.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:33

On the road.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

But it's a good time. You know what? And I I don't want to I don't like talking bad about people on this show. You know that.

SPEAKER_02 20:39

No, no, never.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

But I'm going to talk bad about somebody. And if you feel that it should be edited out I'm not editing. You know who I really liked at the beginning of their career, and the longer their career is successful, the less I like him.

SPEAKER_00 21:03

Who?

SPEAKER_01 21:04

Take a guess. Um there's a lot of people in careers. Oh, you got one. Oh. No. We don't need to say anything more than that.

SPEAKER_02 21:17

No.

SPEAKER_01 21:18

But that's where I'm gonna leave it. The people that know know. But he's not the same guy.

SPEAKER_02 21:27

I think it depends on the day.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

Used to be fun loving. I think it depends on the day. I'll give him that benefit of the doubt. So it was hot, maybe he was stressed out.

SPEAKER_02 21:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

Couldn't find any dry fits to cool him down. But uh yeah. Yeah. Um kind of upsets me.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

Unfortunate event at bike time.

SPEAKER_01 21:49

Oh, a little burner. Yeah. Do you see that motherfucker's legs cut on?

SPEAKER_02 21:52

Yes. I I feel bad for the guy and his girlfriend or wife or whatever they are. We were sitting At the bar having a couple beers, and all of a sudden there's this big tall picket fence or wood fence that's surrounds the outdoor patio area, so you can't see outside.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

Black smoke darker than Toby's ass.

SPEAKER_02 22:12

Black smoke darker than Toby's ass. And then we saw flames higher than the fence. Oh yeah. And we're like, holy shit. We went outside, and this poor guy his bike caught on fire cruising down the little main drag.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

I can't feel bad for him yet.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

Had a gas leak, apparently, and it caught fire, and he caught on fire on his shorts, got some burns on his legs, um, lost all three of his fucking Gatorade bottles out of his saddlebag because they melted into nothing.

SPEAKER_01 22:51

I hope somebody gave him something to drink.

SPEAKER_02 22:53

The Gatorade bottles were laying in the street still full. So I don't know how that happened.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

I got problems with that. Okay. You know as well as I do, Bob and Brad sent flowers up to the hospital and they got returned because we sent them to the wrong hospital. But the intentions were there. But my problem is, is I need to know before I base I got a scale. I gotta feel sorry for you, scale. One to ten. Ten. Dude, I wish it were me, not you. One, whatever. But my thing is, is I want to know. Did you wake up that morning and went? Oh. Bike's leaking gas. And then drove it anyway? Because then I'm at a one. True. Now, if it just happened because shit happens, then I'm at a ten. Right. But if it happened because you were going, then I'm like negative six. Oh. So I need to know what the whole story is.

SPEAKER_02 24:00

I'm going to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 24:02

Did you did you see him at his face? Like, was he old enough to like be smart or was he? I I don't know. I never saw.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

I'm going to give the guy the benefit of the doubt and say that it didn't start leaking until he was already on the road.

SPEAKER_01 24:18

Then he figured he was already there.

SPEAKER_02 24:20

Yep. But I'm not going to give the benefit of the doubt that he was sitting there.

SPEAKER_00 24:27

Rumba! Roomba!

SPEAKER_02 24:30

And uh that may have contributed a little bit more fuel pressure coming out. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 24:38

Um I don't like the roomba roomba at all. I hate it. No matter what it is. But you know what I really hate it is the fucking crotch rockets. Get it off the fucking sub limiter, dude. No.

SPEAKER_02 24:52

No. It's annoying.

SPEAKER_01 24:54

People don't like it.

SPEAKER_02 24:55

And nobody else thinks it's cool.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

No. No, it's like, you know, when you see a big lifted truck that drives by and they see a hot chick and they rev the fuck out of it. How many chicks said, oh my god, I love this. Yeah. No. None.

SPEAKER_02 25:12

Unless she's a fucking tweaker, yeah. Um you know what what did Dan call those guys that that Uncle Daddy calls them when they rev them up like that? Throttle threats. Throttle threats. Oh, God, I hate that. It it it is stupid.

SPEAKER_01 25:32

I don't mind a little bit as you're getting ready to go off. Yeah. But just a second.

SPEAKER_02 25:36

Just sit there and go! It's fucking stupid.

SPEAKER_01 25:40

It is.

SPEAKER_02 25:41

And if you're one of those people that do that and you're listening, stop. Yeah. Just quit. Because I promise you. Don't not follow. Nobody. Yeah, keep following. But nobody likes that. Anybody who are actual real writers and really none of them like it. No. They all look at you and shake their fucking head and be like, that is one dumb motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

Yep. God, did you see uh I mean, I just I got this tendency to jump around in my head.

SPEAKER_02 26:12

Oh, you do it too out of your mouth.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

But you were you yeah you hit something there that made me think about it. Did you see them fucking blue angels fucking flying around Pensacola over the weekend? Yeah, that was 700 miles an hour, 10 feet off the pier.

SPEAKER_02 26:28

That was cool.

SPEAKER_01 26:29

Yeah, and then they're they wanted to get them guys in trouble, and the dude said no.

SPEAKER_02 26:33

No. Everybody that was sitting down there loved it.

SPEAKER_01 26:36

I don't like your Reving, but if you come through with a F-14, that's a little different. I'm gonna like it.

SPEAKER_02 26:42

That's a little different. That's fucking sweet. I mean, that was just I mean, that was fucking cool.

SPEAKER_01 26:46

The hair on your arms standing up.

SPEAKER_02 26:49

I I wish I was there when it happened.

SPEAKER_01 26:51

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 26:51

Because that's cool as shit.

SPEAKER_01 26:53

Oh fuck. Yeah. Um that's God, you didn't even go into hot rods this year.

SPEAKER_02 27:00

Did not.

SPEAKER_01 27:01

Kelly didn't either, did she?

SPEAKER_02 27:02

No. No, Trish didn't either. Because I was scared of what was gonna happen if I did.

SPEAKER_01 27:07

This is like last year, I'm broke. Yeah. Yeah, I I walked through there and I didn't see anything that was worthy of telling you, hey, go check out. And I trusted your judgment. Yeah, there wasn't shit.

SPEAKER_02 27:17

Because last year when we were there, I went in and walked out sixteen hundred dollars later. With three bags was all things I needed. Oh, it was. Nothing I bought was unnecessary. But fuck me, running. I did not. We ain't got 33 cents a day coming in. I can't afford that. Do you feel like we went through the beer tickets pretty quick, though? Extremely quick.

SPEAKER_01 27:42

Heat or something. I don't know. It was the heat.

SPEAKER_02 27:45

It was it was warm out.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

Good to have some clear days, though, in it lately. Yeah. Fuck you, Canada.

SPEAKER_02 27:51

Eh?

SPEAKER_01 27:51

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 27:53

Did you I saw a thing on the on the news that they're projecting that fucking Canada's wildfires cost 4.2 or 4.5 million dollars to the businesses in Michigan.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

They should have to pay that.

SPEAKER_02 28:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:13

Right. And I'll make a deal with you, Canada. You come down here, you can either write us a check for 4.2 million dollars, or you can come down here with a net and a hundred fucking idiot fucking canuckers.

SPEAKER_02 28:25

Get these fucking geese. There you go.

SPEAKER_01 28:27

Jesus. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 28:28

Take your fucking birds home. That I I like birds. I think birds are cool.

SPEAKER_01 28:35

If you could be a bird, what kind of bird would you be?

SPEAKER_02 28:38

Bald eagle.

SPEAKER_01 28:38

Oh yeah, that's what I always pick, too. I mean that's that's nobody can shoot you and you're the boss.

SPEAKER_02 28:43

Yeah, and they're fucking majestic. Yeah. But them fucking Canadian geese, I hate 'em. There's there's not one good thing about them. Not one. They migrate into people's yards or parks in town and they just fucking shit everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 29:01

And they're mean. They're not even nice about it.

SPEAKER_02 29:04

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

Yeah. Fuck you.

SPEAKER_02 29:07

Yeah. They're the nastiest fucking birds.

SPEAKER_01 29:11

The bird thing brought me on to a whole nother idea here. Oh, yeah. The other day I was driving to work. Not down on Snow Road. Was it snowing? Nope. Okay. Not today. But I see these birds walking across the road. Well, it was two mama ch turkeys. Yeah. And they only had two babies with them. And it was funny, it was mama, two babies, and mama. And they were watching me. Well, I'm stopping. I ain't gonna run over you. You know. So I stopped and I'm letting them across the road. But turkeys have more than two babies, don't they? Depends. Would that be normal? Because now I'm I wanted to like I rolled down the window and I said, What happened to the other babies? And they they didn't know what I was saying.

SPEAKER_02 29:54

Did they even look at you? Did they acknowledge you were talking to them?

SPEAKER_01 29:57

The one did. Oh yeah, she didn't.

SPEAKER_02 29:59

She said, Shut up, asshole, and got run over by a car. Well it makes me wonder. I ever tell you my bird story with the ducks? No.

SPEAKER_01 30:09

You familiar with St. Joe and uh Crytroad? Yes. Yep. Got the speedway there?

SPEAKER_02 30:14

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

Well, I was heading east on St. Joe, and mom and dad duck and a whole bunch of little yellow ducks right behind them. They're walking across the road. Quack, quack. Two people going eastbound, they're stopped in both lanes. I'm stopped in the uh right lane going eastbound. That's westbound for the other two. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:42

Um it's usually how roads run.

SPEAKER_01 30:44

I look in my mirror and I see this motherfucker in the left lane. He is hauling ass. Come see the light. I no ducks to give. If I had no, he did not. If I would have had insurance on my car at that point in my life, I would have turned to the left and let him hit me. But no, he came through and he wiped out probably four ducks. You, mother? He wiped out a whole generation. Motherfucker. Probably didn't even care. No. And that was before cell phones, so I know he wasn't staring at his phone.

SPEAKER_02 31:17

Right. But maybe a changer.

SPEAKER_01 31:22

Yes. Not a Canadian goose.

SPEAKER_02 31:24

No, fuck them. I'll run them over. I don't give a fuck. Deer? I just hit another deer last week.

SPEAKER_01 31:29

I saw you got a little fur in the bumper.

SPEAKER_02 31:33

Fuck them deer. Fuck them Canadian geese.

SPEAKER_01 31:37

But a baby duck.

SPEAKER_02 31:39

More importantly, over a duck.

SPEAKER_01 31:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:45

I'm all about saving the turtles.

SPEAKER_01 31:47

Oh, yeah. My kid just stopped the other day, picked up a turtle, put it across the road. And I said, How'd you do it? And she said, like you always said, if they're facing in a direction, you put them on that side of the road, because that's the direction they're going. I said, Yep. What kind of turtle was it? I don't know. I said, you might want to research and learn your turtles, because if you would have picked up a snapper, you'd be missing a finger. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 32:08

Or two.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 32:10

Because I'm assuming she's got pretty dainty fingers. Dainty fingers, yes.

SPEAKER_01 32:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:15

Uh nope. I I like the turtles the most, and I don't ever want to see them smashed. No. And then you get these fucking assholes that purposely do it.

SPEAKER_01 32:25

Yeah. Aim for them.

SPEAKER_02 32:27

That's that's just that's just being you're just being a dick. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:30

So you know what? And it's probably two buddies in his jacked up fucking truck that hit it, and they both laughed. The driver did it because he thought he was impressing him, but he down deep he felt bad for doing it. And his buddy felt bad for doing it, but they don't share feelings, so they're both like Beavis and Bud. That was cool. No. And then they both went home and fucking jerked off in the shower crying because they fucking killed a turtle. Yep. Guaranteed. Yep. Yep. So quit doing it. Yeah, get rid of your manly man.

SPEAKER_02 32:59

Squirrels? I don't give a fuck about a squirrel. That motherfucker runs out and I'm going down the road, deader in the doornail. I don't give a fuck. What? What?

SPEAKER_01 33:13

The black ones or the black and red ones?

SPEAKER_02 33:16

I don't care what color it is. You'll run over the red ones? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

You motherfucker.

SPEAKER_02 33:22

I don't care about the squirrels. They're fast and they have eyes. They should not fucking they should look both ways before they cross.

SPEAKER_01 33:29

I like it when they do the dart thing. Like going.

SPEAKER_02 33:31

No, no. Yeah, they get under your vehicle and then dart the other way and you're like, you dumb son of a bitch. If you'd have just stayed still, I don't hit you. Don't care about squirrels.

SPEAKER_01 33:41

Really? Yeah. That's kind of rude. How about chipmunks? Same thing?

SPEAKER_02 33:45

That's a fucking squirrel.

SPEAKER_01 33:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:47

A little smaller, but no, no care. Fuck them.

SPEAKER_01 33:52

Oh, I I will slow down for a squirrel. But that's where I I think life is important.

SPEAKER_02 34:04

The one that I don't that there's two that obviously are the worst feeling in the world if you hit them. Is a dog or a cat. That is that is like that's someone's pet. That's someone's family member.

SPEAKER_01 34:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:20

That that you never you never want to do that.

SPEAKER_01 34:23

I had a dog once.

SPEAKER_02 34:25

I did on a four-wheeler.

SPEAKER_01 34:26

I got pissed, not I was pissed at the dog, like you dumb motherfucker. But his owners is who I was really pissed at. Because they let him run around. Teach your fucking dog how to stay all the road. Yeah. You know? Yeah. As I got somebody stopped out in front of my house honking the horn because my fucking dogs are out in the road. But you know what? Hit them. I am so done being a dog owner. Fucking let it rip. I mean, I can't tie that motherfucker to the center line much more. And you motherfuckers just keep slowing down.

SPEAKER_02 35:00

You heard it first from Brad. Fucking kill my dogs, but don't hit the squirrels.

SPEAKER_01 35:06

I'm over being a dog owner. Not fucking Frank barks at everything. Uh yesterday I worked from home and I have the fucking dogs. I was out on the porch talking to one of our sales guys, and I'm talking. 45 minutes. No. They're out there just grazing out in the yard like a bunch of fucking cattle. Alright, that's cool. Gotta go inside. Come on, guys. They come in. That fucking black bitch we have fucking just squats and pisses right in the hallway. You were outside for 45 fucking minutes. It's time for you to die.

SPEAKER_02 35:44

You insensitive prick.

SPEAKER_01 35:46

A little bit. A little bit. Um on the topic of uh dinners, I I gotta laugh.

SPEAKER_02 35:56

What's that?

SPEAKER_01 35:57

Well, you know, as well as anybody, I cook six out of seven nights a week. Yeah. Well, tonight Trisha's home alone. Weren't supposed to be no kids at home. They uh got babysitting duties and shit. And uh I said, so what are you gonna eat for dinner tonight? Soup. The most simplistic thing to fucking make. She's gonna have soup. Not even make a real Well, thank God both the kids are going home tonight, so they sent her a message. What's for dinner? Well, thank God you're taking care of mom. We ain't in fucking goddamn Poland in 1948. Damn. I like soup, but that's not a meal.

SPEAKER_02 36:40

No. How do you feel about it? I soup is never a fucking meal.

SPEAKER_01 36:45

It's a side accessory.

SPEAKER_02 36:46

Yes. Yeah. Now, people are gonna say, well, what about chili? Chili's not a fucking soup.

SPEAKER_01 36:52

Chili is not a soup. It's a meal. Yes. If you do it. Don't confuse the two. If you suck at making chili, then it's probably a soup.

SPEAKER_02 36:59

Yeah. Um chicken noodle soup, even though it's called soup, as long as it's got dumplings in it, it's not a soup.

SPEAKER_01 37:08

That's a meal.

SPEAKER_02 37:09

Yes. Yep. Um goulash is not even close to a soup. But people say goulash is a soup. I love goulash. I like goulash. Not a soup. Um don't feed me soup for dinner.

unknown 37:22

No.

SPEAKER_02 37:22

It's fucking liquid. I don't want liquid. I want to start. I want meat and potatoes. I want something hardy, you know.

SPEAKER_01 37:29

Years ago we were building my boss's house, uh Charlie Hankspah, up uh Chippewa Lake. And night one, we were staying up there. We had soup. I don't know, fucking bean soup or some shit. Night two. Beef stew is not a soup. Chicken soup. No, beef stew is good. Yeah. Night three. Some other kind of soup. Finally, uh Andy Miller says, Jesus Christ, Jockey. We need some some real food. No shit. But them old people that you know they grew up that way because they were dick poor.

SPEAKER_02 38:06

And they all them old people all wonder why their fucking farts smells so bad.

SPEAKER_01 38:10

Oh, because it's all the fucking soup. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:12

And what a weird name. Soup. Soup. So up.

SPEAKER_01 38:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:16

So up. Soup? Yeah, fuck it. Soup's bad for you. Don't eat it. It's never a meal. You go get a meal and you have a little cup of soup.

SPEAKER_01 38:26

There's a restaurant up in Greenville we gotta go to.

SPEAKER_02 38:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 38:31

Saw their uh post on Facebook the other day.

SPEAKER_02 38:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:34

Hot beef sandwich. You know I'm a diehard guy for hot beef sandwiches.

SPEAKER_02 38:38

Especially if it don't have no mashed potatoes on it.

SPEAKER_01 38:39

Sandwich is about that thick, a whole bunch of meat. And in the middle was the biggest wad of fucking potato you ever seen. Hell yeah. And you could drown in all the gravy. So I gotta look back and see who that was, and we're going up there.

SPEAKER_02 38:54

So I'm gonna shift gears a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 38:57

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:59

Push the clutch about pocket suit. Anyway, push hard. One of our listeners. Oh, yeah. You always like feedback from listeners. I do. One of our listeners. Um happens to be probably the funniest listener we have. Um not the toughest, but the funniest. She sent me something today and she says or she sent it last night while I was laying next to her. And uh she said, uh she started asking me these questions. She said, You should ask Brad some of these questions on the air tomorrow. Okay. I said, Okay, so I'm gonna. So I'm gonna ask you a series of questions and I want your answer.

SPEAKER_01 39:48

I gotta answer it. Yes. Okay. Um can I back out of it or do I gotta answer it? No, you have to answer it.

SPEAKER_02 39:53

Okay. And it's it's not like your answer, it's what I ask you, because I'll give you the option. And then you can elaborate from there if you want.

SPEAKER_01 40:03

Well, you know what? You took a shot. I'll I'll take a question.

SPEAKER_02 40:06

Oh, geez. Fair trade policy right there. So one of them is if you're not or if you're at the gas pump, yep, and the pump says C cashier.

SPEAKER_01 40:18

Fucking eat a dick. Are you staying or are you leaving? No, I go to the next gas station.

SPEAKER_02 40:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 40:23

I won't even go to another pump in that fucking gas station. Nope. C cashier, fuck you. It's your problem, not mine.

SPEAKER_02 40:30

Stay fucked. You don't want my business.

SPEAKER_01 40:32

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 40:33

Because you didn't maintenance your pumps properly.

SPEAKER_01 40:35

Take care of it. And turn the pressure down, motherfucker. Some of us are trying to fill a little hole.

SPEAKER_02 40:39

Oh my god. That's yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:41

Meyer?

unknown 40:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:42

Meyer gas station, you're probably the worst. Your pressures are set way too high. Oh, 110.

SPEAKER_01 40:48

Because they get more air in it, so they make more money.

SPEAKER_02 40:50

Yeah. Your pressure is way too high. You need to cut it. That's a song.

SPEAKER_01 40:53

Is that true?

SPEAKER_02 40:54

No.

SPEAKER_01 40:55

The more higher pressure, the less fuel you're really getting. Um I think there's something to it.

SPEAKER_02 41:01

It could be. So, fun little fact if you anybody knows about filling a diesel tank up.

SPEAKER_01 41:08

Don't lose your no, I got it. Oh, the foam?

SPEAKER_02 41:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:12

So diesel gets a lot more air in it than gasoline does. So.

SPEAKER_01 41:20

Is it the air or the oil that makes it slippery?

SPEAKER_02 41:23

Uh probably the oil. But what I do is when I fill my diesel up.

SPEAKER_01 41:30

Stick your finger in there and stir it like a beer.

SPEAKER_02 41:33

I only go to the first click, so it's not um slow. It slows it down so it doesn't put as much air.

SPEAKER_01 41:40

Well, you got a lot of time in your day if you can do the first click.

SPEAKER_02 41:44

Fuck it. Wow. I also want my fucking money. I want my diesel for my money because that shit's expensive. Um, next question. Oh. What is the right way or proper way to cut a sandwich? Down the middle? Nope. Diagonal?

SPEAKER_01 42:06

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 42:07

No cut at all?

SPEAKER_01 42:08

Nope.

SPEAKER_02 42:09

Or a caterer's cut, which is like a 45, but it's Oh, it's where you got the two fucked up size pieces.

SPEAKER_01 42:18

Yes. No. All right. You don't fucking cut it. I am my my whole sensitive. I like this one. My whole life is picture a zebra's ass. Yep. Symmetrical.

SPEAKER_02 42:34

Mm-hmm. Nice big cheeks. Muscular. Yeah. Oh, you're talking about a sandwich, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 42:41

A zebra. Oh. A zebra.

SPEAKER_02 42:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 42:44

That's bestiality. Do it, do you, boo-boo. When the dog's hungry, he's gonna eat. Yeah, so it's gotta be cut evenly.

unknown 42:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 42:53

For one. For two, I mean, you're gonna cut it sideways. How old are you? Are you no fun at all?

SPEAKER_02 43:01

That wasn't an option.

SPEAKER_01 43:03

Yeah, it was the down the middle. Down the middle. You don't do that. You cut it. Always cut it diagonally. Okay. Diagonally means I might not be fun, but I still got a little spice in me.

SPEAKER_02 43:15

Got a little class.

SPEAKER_01 43:16

Like uh grilled cheese?

SPEAKER_02 43:18

Yep. Perhaps.

SPEAKER_01 43:18

I'll I'll use that one.

SPEAKER_02 43:20

You never never cut a grilled cheese down the middle.

SPEAKER_01 43:22

You cut that triangle, it dips in the ketchup so much better. You don't do ketchup on your I don't do ketchup ever.

SPEAKER_02 43:31

Unless it's on a hot dog or a brat.

SPEAKER_01 43:33

Why?

SPEAKER_02 43:33

Because I don't like it.

SPEAKER_01 43:34

Why?

SPEAKER_02 43:35

I just don't.

SPEAKER_01 43:35

Why do you like it on a hot dog or a brat, but you don't like it on a fucking burger?

SPEAKER_02 43:38

Because it goes with them. And I would do occasionally have it on a burger.

SPEAKER_01 43:42

But you won't do it on a grilled cheese?

SPEAKER_02 43:43

Fuck no.

SPEAKER_01 43:45

What do you eat with your grilled cheese?

SPEAKER_02 43:47

Grilled cheese. And grilled cheese?

SPEAKER_01 43:51

Tomato soup?

SPEAKER_02 43:52

I used to back in the day as a kid, but I don't like tomato soup.

SPEAKER_01 43:56

No.

SPEAKER_02 43:57

When you're sick and you're feeling a little down. Yeah, I could I could get behind that then.

SPEAKER_01 44:02

But not just like right now we'd run up to the uh fucking restaurant and you you would pass on the tomato soup with the ground cheese.

SPEAKER_02 44:09

Really?

SPEAKER_01 44:10

That's interesting.

SPEAKER_02 44:11

Yeah, that's just that's just me. I'm a little fucked up in the head. Huh.

SPEAKER_01 44:16

But yeah, diagonal.

SPEAKER_02 44:18

This one I had the unpopular opinion on when I answered it.

SPEAKER_01 44:22

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 44:23

Is throwing a banana peel on the ground considered littering?

SPEAKER_01 44:28

Fuck yeah, it is. Nope. Yeah. Throwing the banana on the ground is not because squirrels will eat it. Throwing a banana peel on the ground is a littering.

SPEAKER_02 44:38

No, it's gonna, it's, it's, it's gonna break down and compose. Absolutely. You're a fucking ass. You're a littering piece of shit. We're not in fucking Mario Kart asshole. Nobody's gonna spin out on the motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01 44:49

You don't throw a so me and you, we're walking down the road. We're walking down the riverwalk. Yep. Because we like to be in shape, and we're eating bananas, and I will hold my peel until I come across to a trash can. You'll just throw it on the ground, just let it go. You're a fucking dirt man piece of shit.

SPEAKER_02 45:08

I'm not walking down the riverwalk, I'm not gonna. I'll throw it into the fucking woods.

SPEAKER_01 45:12

Driving down the road in the truck. You're gonna throw it out? To the shoulder of the ditch? Yeah. No.

SPEAKER_02 45:16

It's gonna break down. There's nutrients in that. Something's gonna eat it. I'm helping.

SPEAKER_01 45:21

What a jerk.

SPEAKER_02 45:22

I'm being my humanity is kicking in, and I'm fucking helping. No, that's littering. A less fortunate critter.

SPEAKER_01 45:30

You may as well throw a bag of trash out. Bag of trash doesn't break down. What animal is eating a goddamn banana peel? Raccoon. Nope, they don't eat them.

SPEAKER_02 45:39

How do you know?

SPEAKER_01 45:39

They don't like the way they taste. How do you know? I've seen them. I've thrown banana peels out. Squirrels don't eat fucking bananas, they eat nuts. Possums. Possums, no. Deer. Possibly. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 45:52

Okay. Like I said, I had the unpopular opinion there.

SPEAKER_01 45:55

Yeah, that's fucked up, dude.

SPEAKER_02 45:57

I also.

SPEAKER_01 45:58

Hi, I'm Bob and I litter.

SPEAKER_02 46:00

No, I don't litter. It breaks down and decomposes and goes back into the soil and providing the bigger.

SPEAKER_01 46:04

Well, so there's a goddamn piece of fucking leather eventually, but you're not going to throw a leather pouch out in the road. God.

SPEAKER_02 46:12

I knew this was going to happen.

SPEAKER_01 46:13

And you being a roadside worker. Yeah, don't pick up fucking banana peels. Because they're already broke down by the time I get it. No, they're not. It's because nobody throws them out there because they say I don't want a litter.

SPEAKER_02 46:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 46:24

So if we're driving down the road, sign says $300 fine for littering.

SPEAKER_02 46:30

A banana peel to the court.

SPEAKER_01 46:31

You throw a banana peel out. Nope.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

And you get pulled over. And I'll argue with that fucking cop. I hope they take you to court. It's an organic fucking material. I hope we take you to the country. No, it's not. I'm probably going to get tased or shot because I'm not going to fucking work.

SPEAKER_01 46:45

So you and your goddamn fucking banana peel just got me a drunk driving. Got you fucking tased. And a fine. And a fine.

SPEAKER_02 46:54

Wow.

unknown 46:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:55

You know what? Maybe I'll find a trash can next time.

SPEAKER_01 46:58

Throw it in my door pocket. I'll take care of it later. God damn.

SPEAKER_02 47:02

Okay, the next one I had the absolute, complete unpopular opinion. Would you rather steal someone's lunch or have your lunch stolen?

SPEAKER_01 47:20

That's easy for me.

SPEAKER_02 47:21

Well, that's here.

SPEAKER_01 47:22

I won't steal anybody's lunch because I'm a picky eater. But if I didn't mind eating shit, I would uh I'd steal somebody's lunch.

SPEAKER_02 47:34

Versus having your stolen.

SPEAKER_01 47:35

Oh yeah. I'm hungry.

SPEAKER_02 47:37

Fuck yeah, boom. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:40

Somebody's going hungry because somebody's lunch is getting stolen, and I am not going hungry. And for what it's worth, I would rather steal someone's lunch than have my stuff.

SPEAKER_01 47:50

All past, present, and future uh co-workers. Yep. When I'm making my lunch, I rub my dick all over my shit. So.

SPEAKER_02 47:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:02

Look at this. Everybody else wanted their lunch stolen. Really? Yep. Who who? Why? I have no idea, but I thought that was pretty stupid.

SPEAKER_01 48:12

No. I mean, I yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:15

Oh, let's see if there's any other ones that I feel like.

SPEAKER_01 48:18

How much is that gonna suck if you fucking steal somebody's lunch and it's fucking soup?

SPEAKER_02 48:23

I'll throw that fucker in the trash can and say, hey, your lunch sucked.

SPEAKER_01 48:29

I've never worked at a place where they have like a shared refrigerator where they all put their stuff. Have you? Oh yeah. Oh, you guys got that going on now? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:38

Oh. And nobody touches anybody else's shit.

SPEAKER_01 48:42

Do you write your name on your stuff?

SPEAKER_02 48:43

No. Don't have to. Because everybody that opens that refrigerator, they know what they put in there and what they didn't put in there, and nobody touches your shit.

SPEAKER_01 48:50

No, somebody did. Y'all gonna beat his ass?

SPEAKER_02 48:53

Go out and salt shed, motherfucker. We're gonna have a fucking talk.

unknown 48:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:59

This one, it's eh.

SPEAKER_01 49:03

Well, that's fine. So's our episodes.

SPEAKER_02 49:06

No, no, our episodes are fucking stellar.

SPEAKER_01 49:09

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 49:10

Would you rather eat 12 tarantulas or spend 12 days in federal prison?

SPEAKER_01 49:15

12 days federal prison.

SPEAKER_02 49:17

Me too. I can clench my butthole as tight as I want. I am not fucking with spiders.

SPEAKER_01 49:21

I don't think you get fucked in the ass in federal prison.

SPEAKER_02 49:24

Okay, good.

SPEAKER_01 49:25

Maybe a golf club.

SPEAKER_02 49:27

It's only 12 days. Right. 12 days. Who can't do 12 days?

SPEAKER_01 49:30

Oh, eat 12 fucking tarantulas? Not a fucking chance.

SPEAKER_02 49:33

No. Not a chance.

SPEAKER_01 49:35

You know, 12 days in federal prison, shit, I'd take that. 12 days in fucking state prison? Them tarantulas might not taste that bad. I'm not big enough to defend my butthole. Are you? I mean, I'll die trying, but it's gonna piss me off if I fucking exhaust myself throwing punches, and I still end up getting fucked in the ass. You should have just let them do it.

SPEAKER_02 50:02

Save yourself an ass whooping, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 50:04

Right. At least I got all my teeth.

SPEAKER_02 50:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:08

What do you do? Three big bucks come up to you, and they say, Boy, today you're gonna learn. Do you fight them, lose your eyesight and your left eye, fucking have your two molars and your fucking canine tooth taken out, and then get fucked in the ass? Or do you just roll over and say, spit on it at least?

SPEAKER_02 50:33

I'm fighting.

SPEAKER_01 50:35

You're gonna lose the teeth.

SPEAKER_02 50:36

I don't give a fuck, cause because if you stick it in my ass, I'm already dead. Yep. Yep. I mean, if you violate my pooper, I got nothing else to live for. So I'm gonna at least try to get out of it. Go out punching, swinging. So that tells me that you're an actual cocksucker because you were just gonna lay there and fucking take it. No, I couldn't. Yes, you were.

SPEAKER_01 51:04

I would not just lay there and take it, but I like my teeth.

SPEAKER_02 51:08

And I don't care how much fucking you knock me around, I'm squeezing my butthole as tight as I can. You are not getting that thing inside of me.

SPEAKER_01 51:15

I go to prison. From day one, I'm not pooping, I'm holding my poop. So on day 33, you try to fuck me, I just shit all over you.

SPEAKER_02 51:27

Them six fucks would probably like it. They might. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:30

Start playing with it like it's play-doh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:32

And then grab a handful of it and shove it in your fucking mouth.

SPEAKER_01 51:35

And then fuck me in the ass. Yeah. I think it's a no-win. I mean, you know what? Best not to break the law.

SPEAKER_02 51:43

True.

SPEAKER_01 51:44

With anything that's gonna put you in prison. Correct. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:47

Yeah, absolutely. Speaking of grabbing a handful of shit and shoving it in your face, um, it's not that not that aggressive. Calm down. Um we were uh we were at uh what was that bar 46?

unknown 52:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:07

What's that? What was it called? 46. Yeah. So bar 40. Bar 46 in Muskegon. Yep. Stopped there after the bike sh bike rally, get a bite to eat. Met some pretty cool fucking people.

SPEAKER_01 52:19

Oh yeah. Um God, you were over there for quite a while hamming it up.

SPEAKER_02 52:23

Yeah. They liked it. They were the only ones that accepted me because the group I was with didn't care for me any longer.

SPEAKER_01 52:29

Um I can you if you take a step back though, could you see how that would happen?

SPEAKER_02 52:35

No. Oh, okay. Anyway. Uh was I believe the guy's name was Mike.

SPEAKER_01 52:39

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 52:40

And Kelly. Kelly with an eye.

SPEAKER_01 52:42

Eye, I, eye, like yours.

SPEAKER_02 52:44

Yep, Kelly with an eye. Um, they were they were awesome. They were cool people. And if I'm if I got Mike wrong, I'm sorry. I got starstruck. And uh so anyway, we're there. Danny goes to the bathroom. He comes back, he says, fuck. He said, I stood in there waiting and waiting and waiting. He says, and none of the employees showed up. Because the sign said employees must wash hands. So he stood there after Girl P is waiting for the fucking employees to wash his hands.

SPEAKER_01 53:22

I that totally went over me.

SPEAKER_02 53:25

Oh my God. Yeah, he says, fuck, I didn't know how long it was gonna take for an employee to wash my hands. So he says to the next guy that gets done pissing there, he says, Hey, I wouldn't wait around because there ain't nobody coming to wash our hands. I about pissed my pants when I when he said that.

SPEAKER_01 53:41

Oh, how did I miss that? That went right over my head. Well, you know, sometimes that happens.

SPEAKER_02 53:46

Yeah, can't be good every time.

SPEAKER_01 53:48

No. Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_02 53:50

But no, that was that was funny. That's funny. Um, and then Danny did suggest that we start watching the Uncle Daddy podcast.

SPEAKER_01 54:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 54:01

I haven't had a chance to because I've been so busy at work, but uh gotta give that guy a look and see what he's all about. Yeah, apparently he's fucking awesome.

SPEAKER_01 54:12

Text that to me, not tell me the name, but yeah. When you go there, send me a link.

SPEAKER_02 54:18

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:19

Because I I keep forgetting about that.

SPEAKER_02 54:21

Danny said the guy's awesome. He's a no no filter, no fucks to give kind of guy. He says, he's a lot like you guys. So let's check him out. I think he's down in Florida.

SPEAKER_01 54:33

Oh well.

SPEAKER_02 54:33

So I take a road trip and find Uncle Daddy.

SPEAKER_01 54:38

I would have thought that would have been more Alabama.

SPEAKER_02 54:41

Well, maybe he's northern Florida.

SPEAKER_01 54:42

You ever seen that fucking meme? Uh this hot bitch is in a picture, and she is hot. And she says, Dear Abby, are my brothers gay? None of them have tried to fuck me. Lost in Alabama.

SPEAKER_02 55:10

When they hear there's a hoe down, they fucking think one of their sisters got shot.

SPEAKER_01 55:15

Oh. Another quandary I got is when you're looking at podcasts, yeah, how the fuck do some get so popular even though they suck? There's one in particular, and I'm not gonna say their name, but you're gonna know who I'm talking about. Riding around. Yeah, pick it up, Drew. Talking shit. The sound quality is shit. The conversation is mediocre at best. At best. But yeah, he's killing it. I mean, good for you. Almost said his name, and I'm glad I didn't.

SPEAKER_02 55:58

But he's doing a lot of videos. He is on the TikTok. Which we can't do videos on the TikTok very well because somebody got us in fucking trouble.

SPEAKER_01 56:12

I think that was you.

SPEAKER_02 56:14

I'm not saying who it was. I'm saying somebody got us in trouble.

SPEAKER_01 56:18

We got in trouble on Facebook for shooting ya, but I got that cleared up.

SPEAKER_02 56:22

Yeah, what was the deal with that?

SPEAKER_01 56:24

Um, apparently, social media doesn't like guns.

SPEAKER_02 56:28

Well, it wasn't a gun.

SPEAKER_01 56:30

Uh no, it was not at all. And that's how I won my case. I explained what it was and explained that you said it was okay, and I explained that you weren't showing your ass, you were showing the damage done. Right. And they said, after a revisit, we've unrestricted your account. Thank you. You're back to normal. But TikTok, they're them Chinese motherfuckers, they're pretty stiff on their rulings. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:51

Um So what I'm gathering from this is if any of you listeners out there need an attorney, you're getting pretty well versed into fighting battles. I am. And I'll defend you. You could have us as your legal team.

SPEAKER_01 57:13

We will not represent rapists? No. Or pedophiles.

SPEAKER_02 57:17

No.

SPEAKER_01 57:17

But anything beyond that?

SPEAKER_02 57:19

Actually, if you're a pedophile and you need representation, stop on over.

SPEAKER_01 57:23

Come talk to us. Stop on over. Um, you see that guy in Utah? Motherfucker's in prison for fucking four life sentences, and he has killed his sixth pedophile.

SPEAKER_02 57:34

I think that's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 57:36

And he says, I will keep doing God's work. The Lord's work. You know what? Fucking eh.

SPEAKER_02 57:42

I think the guy ought to be able to get out. Yep, he should. But actually, I don't want him to because he's doing us a favor.

SPEAKER_01 57:48

Yeah, Terminator. Or not terminator, yeah. Exterminator.

SPEAKER_02 57:50

Any pedophiles out there that need legal representation?

SPEAKER_01 57:54

Swing by.

SPEAKER_02 57:55

Come see Bob and Brad. Cross your shoulder. We'll set up a consultation. Yeah. And uh, yeah, free of charge.

SPEAKER_01 58:04

Come speak.

SPEAKER_02 58:05

And uh we will be sure to take care of it.

SPEAKER_01 58:08

What the fuck makes that even right in anybody's head? I have no idea.

SPEAKER_02 58:12

I have no idea. It's fucking sick and twisted, and it's unacceptable, and I'm not gonna go on about it because I'm gonna get fair.

SPEAKER_01 58:22

It ain't worth it. Don't get worked up. You got a heart condition coming on.

SPEAKER_02 58:25

I'm starting to feel it.

SPEAKER_01 58:26

Yep. Oh.

SPEAKER_02 58:28

I just it fucking that just is unacceptable.

SPEAKER_01 58:31

One thing I do gotta ask you about.

SPEAKER_02 58:33

Oh, yeah, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 58:35

And the people is I've had a couple emails in the last week that said, Have you guys ever thought about sitting down? Yeah, we already know. Pen and paper.

SPEAKER_02 58:48

Got one though.

SPEAKER_01 58:49

Yeah, it's a doodle pad. And came up with just like two or three topics to discuss throughout your show.

SPEAKER_02 58:59

And I show only be the two or three topics.

SPEAKER_01 59:02

Yeah. And I she said it was a she. Or a guy using his wife's email. I don't know. It doesn't matter. But he's he, she, whatever. Shim. Um I really think that you'd be able to grasp into your listeners better if you guys stayed on a topic or two. And it could be about anything. Find your niche. What do you think about that?

SPEAKER_02 59:26

I think I think I need some riddling to do that, but I think that if that's what that person wants to do, there's plenty of podcasts where they can start their own goddamn podcast.

SPEAKER_01 59:36

Or go listen to one that's all about one thing.

SPEAKER_02 59:38

Yeah, but still listen to us too.

SPEAKER_01 59:40

But follow and then go away. We don't care.

SPEAKER_02 59:43

Um that's not how we that's not who we are.

SPEAKER_01 59:46

No.

SPEAKER_02 59:46

And we're we got a lot of error up here.

SPEAKER_01 59:50

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 59:50

And ideas start bouncing around, and one sticks and then bounces away, and then we move on to the next.

SPEAKER_01 59:57

Yeah, I I I could not, you know, and I listen to a lot of podcasts that are uh on one topic.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:04

They actually have a title. Oh and that's what they go on that whole fucking 30 minutes. Which is fine and good. It is, and there are a lot of interesting, but it's because that's what I'm interested in.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:16

Right. I mean, if you want to do a if you want to do a one-topic show, we go back, revert back about twenty-two episodes ago, probably, and we talk about the fucking moon landing, and I sit and talk for three hours about that and tell everybody how they're fucking wrong. It never happened.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:33

That makes me laugh, Bob, that you brought up the moon landing. Because uh this podcast page I'm on on Facebook. Uh-huh. These people are dying. You know, I'm 32 episodes deep, and I've only got five followers. How do you guys get followers? Well, I answered with, that's a good question. Uh we get a lot of listens, but we get very few followers, you know, for the amount of listens that we have. And I would like to find out why that is too. Uh what's your podcast? I'll give it a go. And if it's any good, we'll uh we'll even say it on our podcast, try to get you a little bit of business.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:14

I know she didn't say it.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:16

No. Well, my podcast is about the 17 BC to the 15 AD astronomy. Dude, you just yeah, you just put yourself in such a tiny ass market.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:33

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:34

I'm surprised there's five fucking people. And it's gotta be your wife and four fucking kids that followed you because maybe your brother. Maybe if he likes you.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:46

Yeah. So I get that question a lot when I talk to somebody, I'm like, yeah, buddy of mine and I, we have a podcast.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:52

What's it about?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:53

That's the number one first question every time is well, what's it about? And the only thing I have to answer with it, and it's generic and it's what I say, is anything and everything.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:07

You know what my best explanation is? What? It's a train wreck? Do you like Seinfeld?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:13

Oh, I love Seinfeld.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:14

That's what I usually hear. And I say, then you'll like our podcast because it's all over the place. And it's about nothing. You just spent an hour and a half listening to two guys, and one of your friends said what they talk about, and you can honestly say, I don't really know. But it's entertaining.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:33

Yeah. And they made me laugh. Yeah. And laughter is the number one absolute best medicine you could ever have.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:42

Way better than tomato soup.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:44

And a cross-cut fucking grilled cheese.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:46

We got this one lady that listens to us.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:48

Oh, Netty.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:49

No. Well, yes, Nettie. But we have one lady in particular. Her name's Andrea.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:55

Oh, I see her comment once.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:57

I love Andrea. She's she's a sweetheart. She's awesome. Um she's either at this far in the episode, she's probably on her way home from work because she listens to work and from work. And she says, Oh my god, you guys are my my entertainment in the morning. You're my entertainment on my drive home. She's awesome. Her husband, Terry, he's cool as shit. Like him a lot. Um, great people.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:23

Well, Terry, if things are getting a little worn down and boring uh at bedtime, uh we can be entertainment at night, too. So give us an invite.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:36

I don't know that Terry listens to us.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:37

A couple of beers, I'll throw in.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:39

Um one thing you won't like about Terry is he puts on a 4th of July firework show also.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:50

Oh, shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:51

And I think he can outdo you.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:53

Um what's her name? Andrea? Yeah. Andrea. If uh your husband ever needs some 4th of July tips, tell him look me up. I'll help him out. And uh we can compare notes and uh where are they from?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:10

Right here in Eaton Rapids.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:12

Oh, and I know it's dog shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:14

Nah, I don't think it is. Yeah, it might be alright. In fact, uh Dexter and Julie was at their fireworks show this year, and Dexter said it was like bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, and it lasted like an hour.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:28

It was bam, bam, bam, bam. Well, Dexter. Mine's bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:39

So I just want to start a feud.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:41

Fucking you fireworks. Somebody out here in the city of Two Rivers thinks that their fireworks show is better than the greatest fourth in the north.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:53

The greatest fourth in the north.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:55

I disagree, but I haven't seen it. Do you video your whole show? Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:02

Okay. I don't know that they do either.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:04

I just was they better not, because any self-respecting fireworks shooter lets the word of mouth travel through as to the what the show is. Nobody wants to watch your shit on fireworks. It's like going to a concert and filming a concert. Fuck you, nobody wants to be there. Although with the concert shit, fucking Morgan goddamn twice as expensive as anybody else won't. Over at the uh U of M uh, what do they call that? The big shit whole house.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:30

The big house.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:32

Yeah, the yeah. Um people on fucking Facebook selling tickets. Uh, we can't go now. I got 450 invested, I'll let them go for 300. That might be a big a good deal, but you spent that 450 nine months ago and you couldn't nail this day down to go there?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:50

You know, bullshit.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:52

Did you see that somebody was fucking selling a bunch of fake tickets and shit? Got in trouble for it.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:58

Good.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:59

Month. Fuckers.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:00

Yeah, that that irritates me.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:02

I like the guy. I like his music. The fucker's got endless good music, but he ain't worth $4.50.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:08

Guess I'm the problem.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:10

Oh, we know that.

unknown 1:06:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:13

I like spin you around. Yeah? I want to spin you around and around and around this dance floor. Blah blah blah blah blah. You get your digits. Who sings that? Morgan Wallen. Let's keep it that way. Okay. He does a better job than I do. Yeah. No doubt. Um so. Do you think you could outdrink him?

unknown 1:06:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:37

So it's no secret that he's very good friends with Hardy. Yeah. And uh oh, I always forget his name. The guy with the tattoos on his face. Not really. No, not up church. Oh. Um, post Malone. Post Malone.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:50

That guy's a fucking idiot.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:51

Now, if he brings his friends, post and Hardy, I am gonna have to be very particular on our third party. I will pick you.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:01

Well, I would hope so.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:02

But then I'm gonna have to be we're gonna have to choose a third one. And that's not gonna be easy because I think them three just drink.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:08

Yeah, I think you're right.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:10

Yeah. We actually have jobs we gotta go to.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:13

Yeah. Not just stand in front of people and sing.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:16

Yeah, hold on to a microphone.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:18

Yeah. They don't hold on to the fucking microphone, it holds onto itself. It's on a stand.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:22

Does it? Do they all do a stand? The thing I like best back in the day, Axel Rose, hey! He'd have this thing and he'd be dancing around. He'd running around. Yeah. Now, if I go to a concert, I'm not looking for George Strait just sitting still. Oh, she took my heart to Dallas. George Strait has a lot of good music, and I wish I could have seen him when he was still touring. But George Strait stood there and he verbally went through his songs.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:57

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:58

All these other guys dance around, run around.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:01

Um you know who don't stand around? Kid fucking rock.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:07

Kid fucking rock.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:09

That dude is all over the place.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:12

I don't know if you're on Facebook today and saw your memories pop up, but uh this time last year we were in Hastings.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:19

I thought it was like a week ago.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:20

July said the 23rd was when I got Rodeo down on the ground. Okay. So that was the first night. Then we did two more nights. And I still have not financially paid off the credit card sale.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:35

Oh my god, that was rough on the old bank account. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:38

Um, but uh Garth Brooks is gonna tour again.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:43

Not into Garth Brooks.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:44

Can you believe that though? I finally got broke enough where I need to go out there and hope there's at least six people that like me anymore. Well, you know what? You should have kept your fucking mouth shut.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:54

Trisha's cooking show isn't paying the bills anymore, is it?

SPEAKER_01 1:08:57

No, but that cooking's doing good because her ass is about the size of a school bus.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:02

She got a little plump.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:04

Um not your Trisha. We're talking about Trisha Yearwood.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:07

Yes, clarify that. Yeah. Jesus. Um I don't know. I mean, the guy, we saw him a few times, he put on a really good show, but he pissed me off with his mouth. And you don't piss your people off with your mouth.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:22

Keep your politics to yourself.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:25

Hate to keep bringing up the same guy, but you know who can and get away with it? Who? Kid Rock.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:30

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I guess that makes me a uh what do they call that?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:34

Uh hypocrite? Yes. Yeah. Bobby Ritchie can lay down a lot of stuff, but he makes sense. He backs it up with shit, you know?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:43

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:43

Um. I said Hardy earlier. I really like a lot of his music, too. He's got a lot of good music. He does.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:52

He does. Play him on the motorcycle a lot.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:54

Looks like a motherfucking dirt ball, though, don't he? Yeah. In some of the pictures, in some of the pictures, he looks like a well-educated young white man.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:01

Sometimes you just gotta wait in the truck.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:03

Yeah. Could you imagine that ever happening?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:10

No. Oh. Yeah. Could you imagine driving down the road and Laney Wilson's walking down the road?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:20

Pre-Ozempic, Laney Wilson?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:22

Yes. Alright, I'll hit that. But that flat fucking washboard ass she's got now. I got no interest. That's you know. That was your big selling point. Welcome to a fucking America, you fat ass bitch. You are hot as fuck.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:36

Yeah. And not fat as in a derogatory term.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:39

No, like the black people say. Yeah, pH. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:42

PH fat. Yep. Um God, she had she had dumps like a truck. Thighs like what? Big move your butt. But what?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:51

My wife gets mad at me sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:52

Why? Can't imagine.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:54

I'll be I'll be cutting around her in the bathroom and I'll say, whoa, get that dump truck out of the way. And she gets mad at me.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:01

It's a compliment. I know. It is a compliment.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:04

Thank you, Bob. And then when you when you say that, you embrace it and you grab handful and then she goes wild fucking rabid possum on you because she thinks you're being a dick.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:16

No, I'm not being a dick. Hey, you're not George, you're not, you're not Conway George Jones. Almost messed that up.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:24

I mean, it's terms of endearment, and they don't understand it sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:27

Yeah.

unknown 1:11:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:28

And that you know what? I'm glad we're on this. Good.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:32

I am too.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:33

Probably got like two listeners left.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:35

I like getting you on.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:37

But you see it all the time. TikToks come across, whatever. If a man walks walks by you and grabs your butt every time he walks by in the kitchen or he does this and all that, embrace it. Embrace it. That's his showing that he loves you and enjoys you and this and that. And you know, that's a hundred percent fact. It is.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:03

Don't do that at Thanksgiving dinner because your aunt will look at you weird.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:10

Closer to Kidding Riven, Jerry.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:12

Let's go. But it is. You heard a little slap on the ass. Yeah. Or walk by and grab a boob. Oh yeah. That is But do not. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:24

No, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:25

Do not let me catch you while we're in the aisle at fucking Meyer or Menard's or any fucking store for that matter, and you do a dick grab. What the fuck are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:37

What's wrong with that?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:38

Yeah, no. Why? I am not one to be publicly aggressed against. You want it. We'll discuss it in the fucking truck. But you don't. You'd be fine with that.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:54

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:56

No.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:57

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:58

Paws off the cock when you.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:00

She can touch my pecker if we're in church. That no.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:07

Could be fine.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:07

No qualms about that by any. You know, one of my biggest fantasies is what?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:12

Doing it in the confessional.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:15

Father will not like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:17

Well, without him in there.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:19

Well, he's gonna be there.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:21

Do you got anything to confess against, son? Not yet. Give me a minute.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:25

You want to watch it?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:27

You might want to open that screen a little further. I've always wanted to do it in a confessional.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:33

That'd be kind of cool.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:34

I think it would. Or with up front with Mary's blessing, her arms are out and she's like, oh yeah, you two get it. And I don't think that's sacrilegious. I think that's just we all have a fantasy. Well, and the thing is is What's your biggest fantasy?

SPEAKER_02 1:13:51

You're you're married, so it's not sin because it's not out of wedlock.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:56

Yeah, and I'm coming in her, and we're trying to make a baby.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:00

Raise more little Catholics.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:04

What's your biggest fantasy? Um you know what I've really gotten into?

SPEAKER_02 1:14:08

What?

SPEAKER_01 1:14:08

The Goths. The hot ones.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:11

Funny you say that. Oh my god. This brought up a whole conversation yesterday at work. Did it really? Yep. So we have we have a guy that I work with. And we'll just refer to him as baby bear.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:28

And uh he talks about the goth chicks. You would never expect that out of this guy because he is a fucking redneck, hillbilly, fucking have I met this one? No.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:44

Country boy. And that's what he is. And he says oh. Them hot gothic chicks.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:55

Oh yeah. If you're on Facebook right now or Instagram and uh you're wondering what we're talking about, look up okay, okay, Veronica.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:05

I have to look that up. Anyway, so we're sitting in the truck yesterday, and I told him, I said, baby bear? He says, yeah. I said, I gotta tell you something. Is he younger than you? Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah. And uh I said, I gotta tell you something. And the guys at work all know that I'm a chronic masturbator. Right. And so pretty much anything that comes out of my mouth, everybody's worried what I'm gonna say.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:39

Oh yeah, I understand.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:40

I said I was I got home. I said nobody was there. And once I say that, they know that I jerking off. I went to jerking off.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:53

And uh Well, I got here tonight. You had your hand in your cock. Yeah, yeah, you've got to be for me. Yeah, anywho.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:02

Yeah. So I said, I got home, nobody was there. He says, Oh fuck. I says, and I thought about you.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:12

I said, Oh no, you don't.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:14

I said, but no homo. He says, Where the fuck are you going with us? And uh this dude could ball me up and fucking roll me right down the alley and knock off, he'd get a strike. That motherfucker, the fucking kid is strong as an ox. A big dude. And uh I says, well, I said, when I get on the old FUQ.com and uh I got my genres that I go to. It's what I like what I like. I said, but I was scrolling through to find one of my genres and goth came up.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:52

You clicked on it, Dan.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:53

I did not.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:54

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:55

Because I only had a few minutes and I didn't want to waste time, so I went to what I know I liked. And uh when I did, I uh I saw that and I said, ooh. Now that I know that's a thumbnail, I'm gonna I'm gonna go back to that when I have time. I said, so I was thinking about you, but I went to what I like. I said, but I will go back and revisit that and see what it is you like about them and see if I can find some common ground. I said, but I won't be thinking about you when I'm doing it, just so you know. He's like, oh, well, that's good baby cakes. And I said, You motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:41

Baby cakes.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:42

Yeah, he always calls me babe or baby cakes.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:44

So did you go back to it?

SPEAKER_02 1:17:46

No, because I haven't had a chance yet. Oh, we got a few minutes. You came over too early.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:50

Go ahead. Nope. I I can keep this thing going. You want me to just do it right here?

SPEAKER_02 1:17:54

Jack off right on the camera?

SPEAKER_01 1:17:56

I bet we get a lot more views.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:58

Or shut down.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:59

Or shut down. We don't want that.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:01

I I've already got us in enough predicaments with getting shut down. I don't need to add codes.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:05

God damn. Okay, okay, Veronica. Fucking heck. So we'll uh She's a lesbian, though.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:11

I don't care.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:12

I don't either.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:13

I prefer not to see dicks when I'm watching porn anyway.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:16

Really?

SPEAKER_02 1:18:16

Yeah, I'm not into that. I'd I don't mind just going and watching a bitch strip.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:26

You're on Reddit, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:18:27

Uh Reddit, F-U-Q.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:30

So you're on Reddit and you don't like seeing dicks go in, but you gotta go to when it goes in.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:34

When it goes in.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:35

Yeah. What's that? It's just when it goes in. It's exactly what it so there's a lot of dick, but there's a lot of holy fuck, I didn't know that could get that big.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:46

But see, there's the other part. That doesn't do anything for me. I like looking at the titties more than I do anything else.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:54

I'm more of an ass guy than Teddy.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:56

I'm into the titties. Love me some titties. I want to look at every titty in the world.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:03

I don't like the big fucking plate. Uh what do they call that? Cariola. Yeah. When it's the size of a saucer plate on a boob that's the size of a dinner plate, it's like off-putting to me. I like a good ratio.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:19

Yeah. I mean it's Do you like them dark?

SPEAKER_01 1:19:21

I like them just so you can tell they're there. I don't like them black.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:26

No, I well, I don't like them dark, but I don't like them so I don't like pale ones either.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:31

Like, are they there?

SPEAKER_02 1:19:32

Yeah, I want to like I want a a definition. Right. You know. So yeah. But I've never seen a set of bad titties.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:41

Oh, I've seen some that are questionable.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:44

Vary. Yeah. But they're still titties.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:47

We all like what we like. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:50

Um, what I do not like is on my boating page, they've gotten into this thing called Tong Thursdays.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:56

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:57

Um it was good at one time. Oh, well now all the good ones stopped sharing, and all the big uh you know the girls at Walmart that you can you think they got white leggings on, but they're really black if they're on a normal person.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:13

Because they're stretched so bad.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:15

Yeah. Um Good God, how long have we been going?

SPEAKER_02 1:20:18

Well, we're an hour and twenty. Holy fuck. Um but thongs.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:24

Thong, thong, thong, thong. I like I like a thong. I really do. Um, but what I really like is the thong to get wider at the top. Yes. I don't know what they call them.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:36

I don't either. There's probably I'm sure there's a name for 'em, but I'm not into the G strings. Doesn't do much for me. I like the ones that they come across the hips over the top of the cheeks, and they have a nice flow into the V, into the booty cheek.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:53

You know what I like best about that part coming across? What's that? Is when they're just thick enough that it looks like the thong might be a little too tight because they got you know what I mean? They got the muffin top, muffin bottom around the thong line. Yep. Yep. Yep. Used to be a girl that worked at Charlie's and I didn't like her because her thong was made out of a ski rope. It was so big.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:18

No. I like titties and I like thongs. So in a perfect porn video.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:23

You're a goddamn Cisco video.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:26

That thong, the thong, thong thong. Love on the booty go. But up, but up.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:30

So okay, you got somebody with an ass. Fat ass. No, no, I'm giving you options here. Oh. Okay. You didn't tell me that. You got some really big boobs.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:39

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:40

Double triple D's. Just monsters. But her ass reminds you of my ankles. There ain't much there. Or you got a big ass chick that's just got a couple nipples. Which which direction you go on that? You're not going to get the perfect combo because it's not out there anymore. We're we're we're we're into you get one or the other.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:05

Is the is the fat booty girl got a thong on? Oh yeah. Like the thong that I like? Oh yeah. I'm gonna go with that.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:11

Are you?

SPEAKER_02 1:22:12

Yeah. Cause I don't I still want some plump in the booty. I would s sacrifice a little size up top, you know, instead of But there's gotta be something there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:26

For a for a nice booty and thongs, but you know, that's just personal preference.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:30

You know, we can't pick our pick perfect person. We love who we love.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:34

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:34

And I I do. I like what I got, but Oh, I do too. Okay, okay, Veronica.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:40

Does she wear thongs?

SPEAKER_01 1:22:42

Oh, she wears everything. Okay, I'm gonna check her out. She will Yeah, she will uh she probably listens to us. And if you ever want to come back from the uh Do I just Google her? Oh yeah, go ahead. Come back from the Lesbo train. I got your hookup. And if I'm not enough, I got plenty of friends. We'll bring it back so we are.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:03

I'm looking her up. I gotta see what she's talking about.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:05

She's she's pretty yeah. Everybody right now is looking her up. You find her?

SPEAKER_02 1:23:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:13

Sure did. She's a digital creator.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:15

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:15

Social media influencer.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:17

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:17

I'm just gonna go right to images.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:19

I would. Nobody cares about the bio. I hope they're good pictures.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:28

They are.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:29

You look unimpressed.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:32

I'm gonna be straight with you. Oh fuck you. I don't love the tattoos all over. She got tattoos. Let me see.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:48

I must have missed it.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:50

Uh yeah, yeah. She's she's a doodle. She looks like my fucking doodle pad right there.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:56

Really?

SPEAKER_02 1:23:58

Is that her?

SPEAKER_01 1:24:00

It is her. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:03

Yeah, I'm not. Like, she's got it going on.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:06

You mind if I take this doodle pad home?

SPEAKER_02 1:24:10

Wow. Really?

SPEAKER_01 1:24:12

Um, yeah, I just I some people like it, some people don't. We all got what we like.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:19

Yeah, and that's okay. I'm not.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:21

You got tattoos?

SPEAKER_02 1:24:22

One.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:23

One. I don't So that's acceptable.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:25

I don't love tattoos on women. Really? Yeah. That's just a personal thing I have.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:31

Yeah, it is what it is.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:33

Some are okay, but most I don't I'm not into them. And that's fine. Because I love natural beauty.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:43

Oh. And do you believe then that somebody can be ugly as dog shit, but their personality makes them pretty?

SPEAKER_02 1:24:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:55

Isn't that crazy? I do. And I I mean it explains a lot of relationships I've seen.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:01

I like to find something beautiful in everyone.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:04

But there's gotta be a certain level of pretty that gets you.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:08

Well, your dick ain't gonna get hard by a personality.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:11

Mine used to when I was younger.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:13

Oh well.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:14

Mine used to when the wind blew.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:15

Hi, I'm 180 pounds overweight, but you want it? Yeah. Yeah. Nowadays? Yeah. I'll pass. Yeah. But it's funny because everybody does have something. Something attracted you at first. And it wasn't the way she said hello. Unless you're down south and uh yeah. South in her mouth. Oh. Yeah. But it something got got you going. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:47

But I like to find something beautiful in everybody.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:50

Because I'm that kind of person that thinks everybody usually that beauty for me is right before you hit the cervix. There it is.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:05

Oh, that's beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:08

But everybody's got something good to offer.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:11

I believe that.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:12

Most. Most people do. There are some fucking shit bags out there.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:17

Oh, there is. How about them? And you're going to know who I'm talking about, them really super hot fucking bitches that are always silently sitting there because they think they're ugly and frumpy.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:30

That drives me nuts.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:31

It's like, what is wrong with you?

SPEAKER_02 1:26:33

In I'm going to tell you right now.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:35

Some self-esteem.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:36

It's not that.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:37

No?

SPEAKER_02 1:26:37

It's not that at all.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:38

What do you think it is?

SPEAKER_02 1:26:40

It is them being attention whores.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:42

You think so?

SPEAKER_02 1:26:43

Yeah, because they know they're hot. And they they want someone to come to them because they need that attention.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:52

Oh, fuck them then.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:54

That's half my Instagram.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:56

I know. Huh. They're doing it for the attention because they get satisfaction out of, God damn, did you see her? And she's like, oh, I'm not. Oh, you know you are. You know you're fucking hot.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:11

Yeah. You're right.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:13

So that's where I'm at with that.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:16

Oh, I agree with you on that. You're right.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:18

Well, you don't have a choice.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:19

No, I don't.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:19

Because I'm right.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:20

Yeah. And I don't know where you put that burner. Oh, what do you think, Bob? Should we wrap up? Yep. What are we? X?

SPEAKER_02 1:27:31

XL.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:32

XL.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:32

Yep. Episode 40. We're we're coming up hard on a year of doing this.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:37

Four more weeks. Yep. And we're one year. Mathematically, we're off. Oh my God. We've had 12 weeks off this year, then.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:44

When we No, right now.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:46

Yeah. We got four more.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:48

When we get uh when we get to the one year anniversary, you better look out. It's probably gonna be a 14-hour show. We're gonna be fucked up on energy drinks and fucking beer.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:00

That would be a good time to have like a line of fucking guests.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:04

Yeah. And just just let it roll through.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:07

Roll through. That applications on uh website perpetually wrong.com, become a guest. Fill it out.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:13

Yeah. If you think you got what it takes to sit here and uh hang.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:20

Good luck. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:23

So on that note, if you don't have anything else, and I don't have anything else, we'll catch you next week. And as always, stay positive, test negative. Goodbye.