Bob & Brad Perpetually Wrong
Two middle-aged men, armed with questionable wisdom and plenty of beer, sit down each week to unpack everyday life --- and somehow manage to be wrong about nearly everything. From family mishaps to pop culture takes no one asked for, their conversations are equal parts relatable, ridiculous, and reliably off the mark. If you have ever felt like you are just stumbling through life with confidence, but zero accuracy, this is your tribe.
Bob & Brad Perpetually Wrong
Episode 41
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You're hanging out with Bob and Brad. Two guys with too many moves, too many takes, and not nearly enough facts. Welcome to Bob and Brad Perpetually Wrong.
SPEAKER_02Welcome to Bob and Brad Perpetually Wrong. Forty-one times now, Bob, we've sat down here to tell all our listeners worldwide.
SPEAKER_01Worldwide.
SPEAKER_02Everything they need to know.
SPEAKER_01And some things they don't need to know.
SPEAKER_02Some things they don't need to know. And the one thing that they do need to know is that me, you, and Mr. Zomer saw old Presidente Trump this week. We did. And what a good time that was.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_02I've never been to anything like that.
SPEAKER_01Me neither. It was an experience.
SPEAKER_02Has he Zomer ever been in Didow?
SPEAKER_01I don't think he has either.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's way different than I thought it would be. I thought it would be very organized per se.
SPEAKER_01Not so much.
SPEAKER_02But we're VIPs thanks to uh Keith and I didn't get his last name. What is Keith? Lane. Keith Lane? Like a good friend of ours.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Okay. Keith texted me, said, Hey, Bob. Does Bob and Brad want to go see the president speak at the GM Proving Grounds?
SPEAKER_02Absolutely Tootley.
SPEAKER_01And so I said, Oh yeah, hold on. I text Brad. Hey, is there any chance you can get Monday off of work? And he responds, not a chance in hell. So I said, okay, I bet I can change that. I screenshot the conversation with Keith, Lane, sent it to you, and didn't say nothing. And then all of a sudden, fuck it. I'm calling in. Let's go.
SPEAKER_02That was a good time, though. It was a great time. It was.
SPEAKER_01We were 30 feet from I think you're being generous.
SPEAKER_0228.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. We were somewhere between 28 and 30 feet away from Trump during his whole speech.
SPEAKER_02For an hour and nine minutes. Yep. It was a best speech. It was great. Best speech ever.
SPEAKER_01There was a rowdy one in the crowd that started yelling and screaming something, but of course he was way in the back because he was not a VIP. And uh couldn't understand what he said. Trump didn't pay no attention to him. And then when they carted him off out of there, he says, I don't even know what that guy was saying. He's just a communist anyway. And you know what? That's exactly what that motherfucker was. He was a county bastard.
SPEAKER_02I think there was a small group that was trying to start shit.
SPEAKER_01Well, there was, and I saw that on the news later, of course. Oh they had a bunch of signs up saying no data centers. And uh they got they got taken out of there. Didn't they? Yeah, they had signs that said no data centers, blah blah blah.
SPEAKER_02You know, you dumb fucks. The camera weren't it wasn't even pointing that way, so your signs are meaningless.
SPEAKER_01Right. Um And nobody cared to hear what you said had to say.
SPEAKER_02Huge mixed bag of people, though.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_02Uh you had us, which are our average Joes.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_02You had a couple people that just had more money than they should have, because holy fuck, nobody needs that kind of cash. And then you had the uh, I like to call them the county fair folk. Yes. Yes. Uh you know, I appreciate Keith getting us in there like that, the royal treatment.
SPEAKER_01And it was. It was awesome.
SPEAKER_02It was awesome. Um, I found it kind of odd that you didn't tell him that I was married.
SPEAKER_01What do you mean?
SPEAKER_02Well, he had his mom sit over by us and she was eyeballing me. Did you see her eyeballing me? Yeah, well. You know, I'm like, dude, does he know I'm married?
SPEAKER_01He was thinking you were gonna be his stepdad.
SPEAKER_02Every young man's dream.
SPEAKER_01So we got this special guest VIP stuff, okay? We got a map, told us what parking lot to park in. It was the parking lot at the building.
SPEAKER_02Hundred yards away from the entry door.
SPEAKER_01Everybody else, if you weren't VIP, had to park way, way, way away.
SPEAKER_02Then they're in the turnstiles like cows going to get milked.
SPEAKER_01Not us. Nope. So a general admission had you had to feed through we bob and weave, weave, weave. We had no gates, and we just went right on through, got right through, bypassed all the general admission, which was awesome.
SPEAKER_02Pretty sure the Secret Service ever said, Oh, excuse me, sir, I'm sorry I got in your way. Go on through.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, exactly. Then we get inside, and there's this area of chairs right up front that said reserved on them. And lo and behold, we start walking up there, and there's names on the seats.
SPEAKER_02For saving them.
SPEAKER_01Yes. This is reserved for so-and-so.
SPEAKER_02I gotta put them pictures on pictures.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah, you do.
SPEAKER_02I gotta put them on.
SPEAKER_01Um, which brings me to another point I'll talk about shortly. Um so we go and bam. Reserved for me. Reserved for Brian. Reserved for Brad. And I was like, well, holy shit, this is the royal treatment. Second row in.
SPEAKER_02Second row. Half dozen seats off the fucking center line.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I mean, talk about a 40-yard line football game. We're right there.
SPEAKER_01And I think what happened was I think Trump called up to the office here in Michigan and said, hey, see these three guys are on the list, make sure they get good seats.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, best seats up there.
SPEAKER_01They're they're funny. They're they're great people.
SPEAKER_02Your whole idea though, trying to get me, trying to bait me into jail, I think. Give that give that Secret Service guy a sticker. See if he'll give it to. Did you see the way the guy was looking? I don't think he was about taking any stickers.
SPEAKER_01There's a reason why I didn't try to give him a sticker.
SPEAKER_02And you don't want to look at those guys for too long. I think they just soon shoot you than fucking stare at you.
SPEAKER_01I think you might be right.
SPEAKER_02Uh huh.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And did you notice? They were all there all day. But when he came out, it like quadrupled. Holy fuck.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it was uh it was impressive.
SPEAKER_02Uh Doug Lloyd, uh, he's running to be uh attorney general this year.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_02Um, if you guys are lazy and don't want to watch the news or social media, just uh cast your vote there. Better yet, just hit the whole R at the top.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Just take that whole row.
SPEAKER_01Um I'll tell you, we spent a fair amount of time talking to Doug Lloyd, which happens to be the county I live in. He is the uh county prosecutor right now, and he is running for attorney general. And I know he's done some great things in our county as a prosecutor, and if you sit and talk to the guy for ten minutes, you have a really good vibe with him.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah. He is He's kind of like we are, yeah.
SPEAKER_01He's laid back. He's for the people, he doesn't he doesn't really sugarcoat much, but he also has some empathy. Which is good, and I think that's needed. Um, because that I think is gonna help him make better choices for the people versus what people are telling him from other parts of the just gotta get people to look at him that way.
SPEAKER_02Yes, you know it's weird because I didn't hear his name once until we were there and he came over and introduced himself. Yeah, he's a great guy, his son was great.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_02Um well, Keith and Tom, they're they're both really good people. Yes. Um and it's funny because I always kind of think that they're just too good for us. But when they were talking to us, fuck I could picture them sitting in my garage having beer.
SPEAKER_01I could too.
SPEAKER_02You know, they're just like us. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um which is what we need. We need more people that understand and can get what is best for not just looking at their fucking bank account.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_01So I think I think with with Doug Lloyd, you have a really good uh opportunity to get somebody in there that's going to do the right job and not get caught up into the uh the funds of it all. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So if you guys happen to see him anywhere, um let him know that because we're trying to get him on the show. A little QA time with the future attorney general. So if you guys happen to see him somewhere, make sure you mention us and say, Hey, you should get on that show. You know, they'd expose you to a lot of people that you haven't seen yet.
SPEAKER_01What'd you say we had the other day? Forty thousand.
SPEAKER_0240,000 listens. Five weeks in a row.
SPEAKER_01Five weeks, yeah. That's that's damn good. That's getting with it.
SPEAKER_02Yep, that is. That's it, it is. Um, I can't tell you how tired I am come Thursday morning because I've been up all night clicking on Google and Spotify and Apple to listen to us, but apparently I hit 40,000 the last couple of days.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, there you go.
SPEAKER_02Josh and Jace, a lot of you guys are familiar with them. I did not know who they were until this week. Um couple seem like pretty cool Brits just traveling our fine state.
SPEAKER_01And it's their second time around.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, they did it last year or two years ago. Last year. Last year.
SPEAKER_01I think over the winter, actually.
SPEAKER_02Oh, so they did winter summer.
SPEAKER_01So I don't even think they've been, it hasn't even been a full year that they were here last time.
SPEAKER_02They seemed fun.
SPEAKER_01They look like fun.
SPEAKER_02Uh sent them a message. So if you see them too, you know, don't be afraid to mention us. I sent them a message on Instagram. But I uh we'd like to get with them for even 20 minutes before they leave this state. Yeah. Um now, are they just coming to Michigan or did they come and they're like doing Ohio, Michigan, India? Do you know?
SPEAKER_01I think they just came here. All of a sudden out of nowhere, surprised everybody said, We're in Michigan. And they traveled everywhere in Michigan.
SPEAKER_02That's not they did too. They've been everywhere. Yeah. They're like, John Cash. Ha ha ha! Look at that. Wow.
SPEAKER_01But yeah, that's uh they're doing a lot of cool shit, exposing a lot of our neat, amazing things that our state offers. Well, we got the world.
SPEAKER_02Oh, she's my problem is I don't like the world seeing it because I've said it before. I find me a beach or woods that I like, I don't want a hundred thousand motherfuckers in there.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02You know, so it it's double-edged.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02It really is. I mean, gives our 7-Eleven a few extra bucks for a oh god, uh Slurpee. Yep, a grape crush Slurpee. Quarter pound big bite with chili and cheese.
SPEAKER_01Grape crush?
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01Funny you say that. Let me pull this up real quick. Oh, sure. One of our listeners, he uh he's he's very active in the listening and the posting and all that.
SPEAKER_02Oh, it's gotta be Stuart.
SPEAKER_01Uh Stuart or Sean, whichever he goes by which day it is. Um, I noticed on his Facebook he's been posting in the mornings thoughts from the shitter. And I like it. I I I'm only gonna share one right now with you guys.
SPEAKER_02I should start following him.
SPEAKER_01But it just it cracks me up. And uh so, for example, one of his thoughts from the shitter was it reads as follows Thoughts from the shitter. Grape soda doesn't taste like grapes, but it does taste like purple. I can't explain that.
SPEAKER_02I can understand that.
SPEAKER_01And I told when he said it, I was like, holy shit, he's right.
SPEAKER_02So got your grape crush, your grape Kool-Aid, your grape gum, your purple drink.
SPEAKER_01None of it tastes like grape.
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_01Like a grape.
SPEAKER_02But if a grape tasted like that, a lot more people would eat grapes.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think you're right.
SPEAKER_02Because I love anything grape flavored, but I don't like grape, and I don't like wine.
SPEAKER_01So I can't stand watermelon flavored candy or anything artificially watermelon. It does not taste anything like watermelon. I could eat. I could eat water. I love watermelon. Watermelon. But watermelon artificial?
SPEAKER_02Gross. They hit the mark way off.
SPEAKER_01Banana.
SPEAKER_02Oh.
SPEAKER_01Same way.
SPEAKER_02I'll eat a banana, but anything, but yeah. But not banana cream pie. People like that. No, I'm not a fan of them. Do you like any cream pies? Keep it clean.
SPEAKER_01Like giving them. Don't necessarily like eating them.
SPEAKER_02You ever tried one? Of them, cream pies. No. Okay.
SPEAKER_01No. No. No, I have not.
SPEAKER_02Not even accidentally?
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01No. Speaking of cream pies, we get into the studio, and this is only for the viewers, not the listeners. Um open up the computer, and this was under the screen of my laptop. A big yellow cock. A big yellow uh what'd you call that construction paper?
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yellow construction paper cut into a penis. Now, I don't know who else has access to the studio other than a couple people. So Brad?
SPEAKER_02It was not mine.
SPEAKER_01Do you have something you want to tell me?
SPEAKER_02No, let me see that one. No, that's far too small for me to shadow cut. I mean, why are the balls so big?
SPEAKER_01Who's got big balls? I mean, it looks like Homer Simpson's dick.
SPEAKER_02Oh, merge. You go back, you get home tonight and Kelly's got blue hair, you know who put that down here.
SPEAKER_01No shit. So um, if it wasn't you, then I know who it was.
SPEAKER_02It hadn't been your son.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_02And that's the problem you get when you just let anybody clean the studio. Right. We got a background check his ass.
SPEAKER_01Did you notice I just took your tapper away?
SPEAKER_02I did. Yeah, it was uh irritating you apparently.
SPEAKER_01He's over here banging on the fucking table, and I'm about ready to lose it.
SPEAKER_02Now I know I could save this till the end because she listens to us all the way till the end. Yes, she does. But uh happy birthday, Nettie.
SPEAKER_01Happy birthday, Nettie.
SPEAKER_02Happy Miss Belated.
SPEAKER_01Well, it was on Monday, I think. Right.
SPEAKER_02We don't do it on Monday. So if you wanted it on your birthday, then you should have held off till Thursday.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, this is your fault, not ours.
SPEAKER_02That's right. Yeah, six more. Well, you got a couple leaps in there. Hey. Hey. Not to take away from her birthday, because I I hope it was a good one, Nettie. But uh, did we get rid of the daylight savings time or not? Has that been decided yet?
SPEAKER_01No, not yet.
SPEAKER_02No. What are we waiting at? I should have asked fucking Mike. Uh fuck. Always forget his goddamn name. Uh Rogers?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Should have asked him. Hey, Mike, get over here. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Hey, well, he walked right by. He was talking to everybody right around him.
SPEAKER_02He seems really cool too.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I thought so. I think the thing that shocked me the most when uh oh it was John James or I don't remember. It might have been Tom Barrett when he was talking, but the average first-time home buyer age now is 40 fucking years old.
SPEAKER_01That was Tom. Tom Barrett, which is another place to cast a vote. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_02I'd vote for him. Absolutely. I don't think I can. I think he's he's out of your area. Yep.
SPEAKER_01Yep. Just out of your area.
SPEAKER_02But he seems he seems like an actual down-to-earth honest guy, too.
SPEAKER_01Well, I've actually spent some time talking to him. Outside of any type of campaigning or anything like that, just talking to him. And he is. He's a very, very family-oriented, nice guy.
SPEAKER_02I think the key to all this not all of it. But uh I hope somehow Trump pulls it off and gets some term limits in. Because I think, you know, when you get these guys that are, and Trump's 80 or 81, so he's old too. He's an old duffer. When you get these guys that are mid to late 70s and 80s, they're out of touch with what's going on. You know?
SPEAKER_01Are they really though? I don't know.
SPEAKER_02I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Because they've got people that their job is to.
SPEAKER_02You're right.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So they are very up on what's going on. And unfortunately, I think there is from both sides, I think there is so much corruption and so much backdoor dealing to get ahead because that's what they do.
SPEAKER_02You don't want to be left behind. Correct. Um, I do have a question for Keith. And you can reply any way you want. Internet, email, telephone, voicemail, text, I don't care. But uh Doug Lloyd said, What do you think about being on their podcast? And Keith's answer was uh risky. Risky. And I'm not sure what he meant by that. So I I'd just like to clarify what that meant because I don't see anything risky about this. Well except for you if we let you go down a tangent.
SPEAKER_01I don't know that it's just me on a tangent. We do say a lot of subjective things in the eyes of the general public. General public, yes. So I could see where if you're trying to protect yourself from having a smear ad out against you, oh well, so and so supports these guys, and they want to hang the the transgenders. So they're hate crimes.
SPEAKER_02They're you know, so but at the same time. Trump was talking about all them things he passed. No transies in women's sports, which is great, which is great, and no mutilating your fucking kid and turning them into a trans woman. Which is also great. Which is also great. So that says to me, anybody that's gonna vote for anybody we saw that day ain't a big fan of trans. Correct. That is correct. So but you don't wanna actually put that out there either. Right. Boy, that's a saucy situation.
SPEAKER_01That's why he said it was risky.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It wasn't anything against us. You took it personal.
SPEAKER_02I didn't take it personal, I just like really risky? But now that I think about it, take a moment.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02If I was running for public office, I'd be nowhere besides right here saying, ask me anything. You're the people that I'm uh representing? Yep. Or senating, however that goes. What's the senator do? Vote. Representative, that's easy. He represents us.
SPEAKER_01Senators vote on different bills that get passed and whatnot. To make a law and a motion. I think.
SPEAKER_02God, we should have asked. Yeah. Yeah. So anywho, um I'm thinking we could get Doug Lloyd on here if we could get Tom Barrett on here.
SPEAKER_01Well, I'll see what I can do.
SPEAKER_02And if we get Josh and Jace on here they're gonna want to be on here.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So Josh and Jace Jace. That'd be kind of neat.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I'd even buy him dinner.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Take 'em to Michigan's best eaten here yet. You know.
SPEAKER_01Somebody said that they need to get them to the Simply Stacey's bakery right here in downtown Eat Ratchet.
SPEAKER_02For a cinnamon roll?
SPEAKER_01For one of them giant ass cinnamon rolls that are only five bucks. That's cheap. I have not had one because I've been on a diet.
SPEAKER_02How are you doing on that diet?
SPEAKER_01Uh down to two twenty eight today, lowest of Ben Sunday. That's good. Um had a couple rough days of uh the weekend and whatnot. So weekends will get you. They do, but I'm maintaining and not going back up, so that's the bonus. Um but the Simply Stacey's bakery here in town, they have you know them, the big styrofoam to go's. Oh yeah. Like that you can put a whole meal in. Their cinnamon rolls are that size, and they're five bucks. And everybody that I know that's had one goes ape shit over them.
SPEAKER_02Now, what kind of is it uh like a powdered sugar topping or is it that fucking maple? Because I don't like the maple. Well, I think you know that tannish colors.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think they come in multiple different things with toppings because there's like a raspberry or a strawberry topping on it.
SPEAKER_02Like she wore a raspberry burr.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I like Prince. I I do too. I think Prince is awesome. Um has Kelly had one? Yes.
SPEAKER_02She said it was great.
SPEAKER_01She said it was great. And everybody else that's had them says they're great.
SPEAKER_02Well, so maybe we should take a trip down there sometime. You gotta be there in the morning.
SPEAKER_01I think they sell out pretty quick.
SPEAKER_02Well, Stacy, hold on to one. Who?
SPEAKER_01Simply Stacy.
SPEAKER_02Stacy. Yep. Simply Stacy. Yeah. If you could simply set two of them aside for us to pick up in an afternoon.
SPEAKER_01Well, I think we could just share one because they're so big.
SPEAKER_02Oh. So you're not shit and they really are.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they they fill the whole thing.
SPEAKER_02I'm not a cinnamon roll eater, but I'll I'll give it a go. Oh, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01If I find a good one, I'll I like a good cinnamon roll. I don't like an average cinnamon roll.
SPEAKER_02Well, speaking of your weight loss, yeah. My wife comes home because she listens to everybody's podcast but us, and she says, Well, I don't have to listen to you guys on the the radio because uh I hear it every fucking time I see you guys. And uh so she listens to these other people, and this guy says, I am sick of going to the doctor and being called morbidly obese from the BMI chart, which me and you are both there. Plus some. Yeah, plus a little morbid. And so he said, So what I like to do is you take your height and you break it down into inches. I'm gonna use my numbers here. I'm 6'1, so that's 73 inches. Then you divide that by two. So now I'm down to 36 and a half inches. And then he says, take a cloth tape measure and go around the fattest part of your belly, and if you are below that 36 and a half inches, you are healthy. Well, I'm almost 40 and a half inches. So he's trying to say I gotta lose three and a half, four inches, basically, just to get down to what should be considered healthy.
SPEAKER_01That seems ridiculous.
SPEAKER_02I think it's a little little much.
SPEAKER_01Because I'm 5'10.
SPEAKER_02So that you're 70 inches. 70 inches. Break that in half, 35.
SPEAKER_01Yep. And I was 47.
SPEAKER_02So that's 12 inches.
SPEAKER_01I gotta lose 12 inches of this belly to not be morbidly obese.
SPEAKER_02You look like fucking Ethiopian. I would. I would look like a crackhead. I think so. So, with that being said, if you guys could do the math on yourself and just respond somewhere. Hey, I'm right on, or whoo, I'm morbidly obese. I don't care what it is. I'm not this isn't a witch hunt to pick on anybody, but I'm curious because I really want to see somebody that fits the numbers.
SPEAKER_01I think the standards are low.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_01You know what? When we're done, we're gonna we're gonna check Lucas.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, there we go.
SPEAKER_01Because that kid ain't got an ounce of fat on him, and he's got a six-pack.
SPEAKER_02Because I just want a something to gauge it on.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know, like, because you know, you got some of them chicks, and I really don't like these girls. The ones that I could literally two-hand like this and get around their waist. No, go eat a burger.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know, so I know they're below that, but yeah. I'm looking for a healthy looking person that's gonna be.
SPEAKER_01I mean, there's something to being said about being healthy and being extremely fit.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_01And being anorexic.
SPEAKER_02Well, let me ask you this then. Because anymore, you've got uh they should add anorexic to the fucking list, but they've got slim, athletic, average. What is the difference between slim, athletic, average? I don't A quarter of an inch around your fucking gut? I don't know. Because slim and athletic, I'm gonna put you in the same group.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02You look like you run or walk or average, I'd have to say, is sadly enough, I think we're average.
SPEAKER_01Well, I'm I'm above average. I and I know that.
SPEAKER_02You think so? Yes. I do for your age?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'm I'm I'm a I'm a fat fuck.
SPEAKER_02I wouldn't say it like that, but girthy. You know, back in my day they called it husky.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I'm pleasantly plump.
SPEAKER_02Pleasantly plump. Yeah, but I don't want to be, and looking at those guidelines, I don't want to be slim. I don't really want to be athletic. And you know, I we I I don't like these fucking guys either that, you know, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Where which way is the gym?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. That that's not a good look.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_02And when you stop doing all the work to hold that, you look like a sloppy bag of shit.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02They do. Yeah, they do. You know? Um.
unknownOh?
SPEAKER_02Yes. Somebody asked me the other day if you would rather have uh oh god, I good thing we wrote it down. Would you rather have crumbs in your bed all night long?
SPEAKER_01Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_02Or walk around all day long with sand in your socks.
SPEAKER_01Crumbs. Crumbs in my bed.
SPEAKER_02Irritating as fuck, no doubt. But I don't like sand.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, it it's like the nastiest feeling between your toes.
SPEAKER_02And I love going to the beach, but that sand. And you can't wash this shit off. Nah, it's everywhere. You wash it off at that spray station. Well, you can't, unless. Hey, that's what I'll do next time we go to the beach. Hey, Bob, come over here, pick me up, carry me over there where it's dry. Because you put you got to put your fucking feet down to walk back out of there. And there's so much sand in that area that it just Okay, so I do that. Yep. Then I'll put my shoes on, then I'll come get you.
SPEAKER_01And then you're gonna get still gonna get sand in your fucking shoes when you walk, it's gonna kick up.
SPEAKER_02And you're not, oh, that pisses me off, too.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yep, walking down our goddamn. That's why I wish I I had a paved driveway like you, because I walk down our driveway and my hay dudes, and just the little flop I got on the hay dudes kicks that shit off. Yeah. Crumbs in your bed or sand in your socks. I I'd pick crumbs all day.
SPEAKER_01Sorry.
SPEAKER_02And then I don't have to get up in the middle of the night to have a snack either.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Oh, fuck. What else new with you? I haven't talked to you all weekend.
SPEAKER_01Well, I had my first golf lesson on Sunday. And teaching the golf instructor yet or uh no, I'm gonna keep listening and I'll tell you why. Because I've been golfing for years. And I haven't I have an average game, I would say. I'm not great. I have some really great shots, but they're so does John Daly. Yeah. And I'm not terrible because I can actually hit the ball and put it in the direction that I'm going. Sometimes I have good hits, sometimes I have bad hits. I'm an average golfer.
SPEAKER_02Average Joe per se.
SPEAKER_01Yes. And um been doing it for years. And my game really doesn't change much. Improve. Good games, bad games, the whole nine yards. And uh so I went to this first golf lesson, and there's four of us in a group, and he's going through each person, checking them, watching their swing, doing this, doing that, and then he goes straight into grip. And I'm gonna tell you right now that all four of us that were in that group all had their grip wrong. My mechanics are pretty pretty decent, my swing's pretty decent, but the grip itself was not what it should be. So I've been golfing this whole time, all these years, holding the club the same way. He fixed my grip, and I have a slice. So slice is me being left-handed, I hit it and it goes out to the left.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01So it goes out and away.
SPEAKER_02So me being right-handed, it would go right.
SPEAKER_01Your slice would go to the right.
SPEAKER_02Okay, and what's the other direction called? A hook. Hook.
SPEAKER_01So changing my grip, it feels completely wrong because it's different. It's not wrong, it's different.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_01And changing my grip, I was launching balls. Well, it didn't matter if it was with an iron, a fairway wood, driver, everything I was hitting was going straight.
SPEAKER_02You noticed the difference.
SPEAKER_01Noticed the difference. And he worked on a couple other things with your mechanics on backswing and follow-through and all that. And all of my contact was I'm not gonna say it was a hundred percent better, but it was definitely 75% better contact on the ball, hitting more consistently out where I was trying to hit.
SPEAKER_02Now you know what we should do, and I'll work on a website for this tonight. I'm gonna start Bob and Brad's golf school.
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_02So you go to school on Sunday, and we offer classes on Monday.
SPEAKER_01While it's still fresh.
SPEAKER_02Yes. I like it. And we'll be just a little cheaper than most of the golf instructors. We'll kill it. Yeah. But no, you say grip, and that's funny because well, we did a little shooting before we recorded, and what did you help correct on me? Grip. Grip. It's amazing how much these little dick beaters dictate what you're doing. Yeah. It's it it's pretty fucking neat. And not shit that you don't learn in school. Correct. Um, but it comes down to everything. I mean, the way you drive, everything is.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So we have a golf outing Saturday, Saturday, Saturday for the Eaton Rapids Youth Wrestling Club. It's a big fundraiser that we do every year. And uh we are going there. And if I can carry over my lesson from last Sunday, I think we are gonna have a really good showing at the golf outing.
SPEAKER_02Top three.
SPEAKER_01Five. There's a song that Kid Rock sings. Yeah. And I can't remember exactly what song it is, but in there he says handful of 'em. Yep. He says, When I set my sights, I shoot for stars. I don't like small cars or real big women, but somehow I always find myself in them. So I set my sights and I'm Is that just wasting time? Yes. Yeah. And I'm shooting for the stars, so I'm going there to win.
SPEAKER_02Some hell or high water. That's right. And if you gotta play another nine.
SPEAKER_01So be it.
SPEAKER_02So be it. First nine was a starter.
SPEAKER_01Well, it's two nines. Oh, yeah, you are doing eight holes. Yeah, you're doing eighteen holes.
SPEAKER_02So um hot dogs again?
SPEAKER_01I imagine.
SPEAKER_02Yep. Bring your own beer still.
SPEAKER_01Um yeah. Yeah, I think so.
SPEAKER_02Pick a four by four fence post and shit next to it, or is that just occasional?
SPEAKER_01That is only when necessary. But that did happen. And it was not good. It was hole number three, in case anybody's wondering. Uh they got a little cutout there that they mow, and there was little old little um I think somebody called it the bathroom turn. So I mean well, that's what I called it. Because I had no no choice, and thank God Kelly had shit paper in her golf bag because uh I needed it. It was bad. That was a few years ago, though. I've grown up. I've grown up since then.
SPEAKER_02Well, some would say maybe. Um, excuse me. Gary Strong. Yep. Uh we haven't forgotten about you, buddy. We uh summer's busy, you know that. So we we will hook up, we will get you and your entourage on here.
SPEAKER_01You know, and we were looking at his Facebook and all that last week, and I was like, I know he looks familiar to me. You know, I couldn't place it. So I'm scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. Well, he used to be the head chef on the Michigan princess boat.
SPEAKER_02Oh, the uh Karen Lansing paddle boat thing. Yeah, or you know, not paddle boat. Right. Uh what do they call that boat?
SPEAKER_01It was like a dinner cruise boat. Yeah, whatever that whatever that big thing is in the back of the spins. And uh so What were you doing on the Michigan Princess? When I worked for the Budweiser distributor, that was one of my stops. And I know now that he was there while I was delivering beer. So I actually have run into him a couple different times delivering the beer there because he was the kitchen manager or head chef, both I guess. And so I had to deliver the beer and he had to be there to allow me to bring it in.
SPEAKER_02You should grow some hair. Yep. Lose 82 pounds and see if he recognizes you.
SPEAKER_01The hair ain't coming back. And 82 pounds is a lot.
SPEAKER_02It is a lot, so but you'd be under the 33 inches, so I probably would then.
SPEAKER_01It looks sickly.
SPEAKER_02So is he still a chef?
SPEAKER_01Uh, I don't know what it I I think so, but I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_02You got a lot to talk about.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Got a lot to talk about with a lot of people. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Josh and Jace.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, Josh.
SPEAKER_01Doug Lloyd, Tom Barrett, Gary Strong.
SPEAKER_02List is endless.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Oddly enough, if we were Josh and Jace, I bet they'd all come and talk to us.
SPEAKER_01Probably. I'm sure. Which is weird. You know what else? Last week after the show we got talking about after we were off the air. Something got brought up about um little people.
SPEAKER_02Oh, little midgets?
SPEAKER_01Little people.
SPEAKER_02But the same little people. You can't, yes.
SPEAKER_01Okay. You can't refer to them as midgets any longer.
SPEAKER_02Dwarfs?
SPEAKER_01I don't think that's appropriate.
SPEAKER_02Snow White and the seven little people. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Anywho. So something got brought up about little people, and you alluded to a story. And when I got beat up by the little people. Something about. Did you ever hear about the time I got my ass whooped by a midget? Yeah, we were so I'm I'm I would like the people to hear.
SPEAKER_02We were in the bar. And back then we called them midgets.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So tell the story like it's like you're in the moment.
SPEAKER_02And they they knew they were midgets then. Oh. Don't leave them hanging. Fuck, okay. I gotta get into my story here. So, anywho, we're at the bar. And this little person, fuck face piece of shit, and I hope he's listening to us because he'll know who he is. I'm sure he will. Can I long story short it? You can do whatever you want. Well, anywho, so I think he was an ass. And I may or may not have made a comment. And people that know me, they're gonna side with no, I Brad Brad wouldn't say anything like that. Okay. People that don't know me as well as you.
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_02That's fair. Yeah. And uh, anywho, this little fucker comes up to you. What are you gonna do if a little guy comes up to you? You can't hit him because it's like beating on a little kid. Correct. Right? Yes. You cannot do that. But you cannot allow him to beat on you. Easy. Stick your hand all the time. Stay married. Yeah. But you how would you handle it? How would you handle it? If a fucking magic. I don't know, because I don't know what happened because you haven't given the fucking story. And wanted to start shit with you. What are you gonna do to the little fucker?
SPEAKER_01I think we're missing something.
SPEAKER_02What are we missing?
SPEAKER_01Why did he want to fight with you? People can't make an educated guess if you don't give them the details.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so there's a couple different reasons he may have wanted to.
SPEAKER_01Oh.
SPEAKER_02He had a it was little people. And who has never wanted to pick up a little person? And at that point. You know what I mean. I don't know how to put it in words. Please do tell them up and you just set them on. I would love to do a little person. Just a little person girl. So you tried having sex with No, I made a comment about You tried having sex with a midget man. No, I that's what I'm getting out of it. I made a comment about doing a midget. Not necessarily a midget man.
SPEAKER_01Oh.
SPEAKER_02But that wasn't off the table. No, I mean there's a hole and you're small. But anywho, I I said a lot of things that got us got him violently mad. Angered, some would say. And when he comes after you, you just I could tell this story so much better. I just can't now. I'm just I I can't.
SPEAKER_01And for the record, yes. I would love to show it to do a midgen.
SPEAKER_02I could do a much better job on this, but I'm off my pace a little bit. And I kind of feel like an asshole. But yes, wouldn't it be fun to do a midgin?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it'd be kind of neat.
SPEAKER_02You just slide them like a fucking fleshlight. And we've all been there where, well, the one you're doing or one in the past, you hit the end of her. You know, yeah, you bottomed out. Yeah. A midget, it's gotta be every every slide. And then I just think about laying on your back and setting her on there, you know, parking her on it, uh-huh, and then just letting her run in a circle.
SPEAKER_01Um so do you think maybe this might be why Keith said it would be risky?
SPEAKER_02I don't think it's risky because I think nine out of ten guys would love to get with a midget.
SPEAKER_01I think you're right.
SPEAKER_02And if I was running for office, I bet I'd get some midget love. Pick me, pick me. Now I'm talking to the special kind of midget. The one that looks normal.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I don't like the midgets that have alligator arms or the big fucking four.
SPEAKER_01Head you know yeah yeah it's gotta be a good looking midget.
SPEAKER_02I I I like for her arms to be the size ours are. I put my arms down, I can touch my knee. Yeah, I don't want her barely being able to touch her hip because that's goofy.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02You know disfigured per se.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02Um I did work on a midget house once too.
SPEAKER_01You did?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I had to put in a new kitchen for 'em and cabinets and stuff, and it was funny because it was like you're in a Fisher Price house. Everything was built so short for mom and dad. Well, mom and dad were short, but they had three kids and they were giants. Right. Now I don't know much about midgetology if if it's a hereditary, a genetic thing, but you would think midgets could not have a normal-sized person. They can. Yeah, I learned that. But which is kind of neat. Kind of like a sadistic redhead. You get two redheads together, they can have a dark-haired kid.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02Who knew? Well. I'd just as soon, yeah, stay away from the midget fighting story.
SPEAKER_01I have a uh yellow lab and a chocolate lab.
SPEAKER_02What color were their parents?
SPEAKER_01Both were black labs.
SPEAKER_02Really?
SPEAKER_01Yep. And there was two silver labs that were in that litter, and a couple other blacks and another yellow, I think.
SPEAKER_02So dogs are way more advanced than they had all the different uh Okay. Julie, this is not racist at all, so please don't take it that way. But if you have a white and a black couple and they had triplets, could they have a black baby and then two whites or two blacks and a white?
SPEAKER_01I have no idea, but I don't think so. Okay, so and I don't know why. I don't I don't know how that I don't know what differentiates all that. I'm not uh I'm not that smart.
SPEAKER_02We should check that out somehow. Because I'm curious, because dogs, like you said, two black dogs had a yellow, a black, a couple silvers.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02I wonder if that's ever happened with people.
SPEAKER_01I don't know what causes or dictates any of that.
SPEAKER_02I knew a couple years ago that we're both white and they had a black baby.
SPEAKER_01No, they didn't.
SPEAKER_02He swears to god. She did. Yeah, she didn't. They didn't. He swears to God. Oh yeah. I did a DNA test and everything. You lying sack of shit. You did not. They didn't. She did. They did not. So I I wouldn't that be neat, though. You're a black and white or an Asian and white couple, and you have like a whole mixed litter. That would be kind of cool.
SPEAKER_01I bet it'd raise some questions.
SPEAKER_02What would you do if you had twins? I'd hang myself. Triplets would be worse.
SPEAKER_01My grandfather was a twin.
SPEAKER_02Did you know his twin?
SPEAKER_01No, he passed away either as I was real young to where I wouldn't have remembered him. I think I was I think I was born, but I think he passed away.
SPEAKER_02Too young.
SPEAKER_01Too young for me to ever ever know who he was. Um did you ever want to be a twin? I think it'd be I think it would have its perks. I think you could have some fun with it, especially if you're identical twins.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah, the identicals is what I'd want to be.
SPEAKER_01But no, I don't I don't I don't know. I'm not not sure how I would feel if I had twins. I mean, well you'd love them because they're not.
SPEAKER_02Well, yeah, because they're yours.
SPEAKER_01But I don't I mean I don't know that it would be.
SPEAKER_02Well who the fuck ever wrote that rule?
SPEAKER_01What?
SPEAKER_02You gotta love them, they're your kids. There's been times where it's like thank God they told me in that fucking your expectant father book that I'm gonna love you because right now I'd hate you otherwise. You read a book? No. No shit, no. I winged it through my life just like everything else I do.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and look how successful we are. I mean we got 12 followers.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, well, don't say loud bear? Yeah, don't say that too loud. We don't want Josh and Jace to hear that's all we got. They they're like, fuck, we were just at the bar and they got 30 followers, dude. No, I think uh I think what our show's missing is pizzazz.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02We need some pizzazz. Uh we need to get out there more often. We gotta we gotta take this fucking computer, the cords, and these two and hit the open road. We do. We gotta start. And we we don't have to do a 10 or hour or whatever. We don't have to do it all in one shot.
SPEAKER_01Right. You wanna know what help us do that?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, money.
SPEAKER_01If these motherfuckers list them and give them 33 cents a day.
SPEAKER_02That would help immensely.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Cause I think that'd be fun. Like we'd set up shop, uh, I don't know, pick a bar, top of four seasons.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And uh just go to town.
SPEAKER_01And then we could buy a yacht with a flag saying chillin' the most.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Pump that bitch up and down the coast. Give it close to the sun. Speaking of that, up and down the coast. We went to Belle Isle. Yeah, how was it? Actually, you got you should take a trip. I've never been. It's kinda neat and a whole lot of nothing to do all in one ball of wax. All right. I can get behind that. Yeah, it was it was a good time. And uh I can't say uh, you know, God, when we were on the coast thing, I can't say why right now, but uh I can say thank you, Dan and Jennifer, for finally getting us a date set. Yes, yes, that's all I can say right now.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_02But uh we we appreciate that.
SPEAKER_01Reason why we can't disclose is because it's for a surprise.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_01For somebody. And uh and when it happens, it'll be obvious who the surprise is for and why why.
SPEAKER_02And we'll repay them with uh anytime you got an extra weekend, you let us know. And uh, Dan, you can jump on the back of Bob's bike and Jennifer, I'll take you and we'll we'll hit the open road. Yeah. We'll payback.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I'll take Dan.
SPEAKER_02Dan's tall enough. I think he can put his feet down so you can keep your feet on the pegs to be a little bit more than a little bit. That would be amazing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Wouldn't that be nice? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Hey, when we're coming to a stop, put your feet down. Because he's he's plenty tall.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01So um that's gonna be fun. I'm excited for that.
SPEAKER_02That that will be fun, so just cross your fingers for good weather. Yes. Yep. I I'm hoping for like some 34-foot rollers.
SPEAKER_01No. No. Because my fat ass is gonna go overboard and I can't swim.
SPEAKER_02Well, I don't. I ain't gonna be able to save you because I'll probably be so goddamn seasick I don't know what to do. You know. You get seasick? I don't know. I never have before. There's a lot of things I've never done before. So I I'm I don't know. I'm gonna bring one of them bracelets, though.
SPEAKER_01I do not.
SPEAKER_02No? Nope. Um, the only time I got seasick was that time when you took me for a ride in the dark on the razor.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But I don't know if that was seasick or if that because that's when I was getting into my blood pressure pills. Yeah. You know, so I I don't know what that what caused that.
SPEAKER_01And it couldn't have couldn't have been the no, couldn't have been that.
SPEAKER_02That was fun, though. Who was in there with us? Uh they called him a name. Uh he's married to that hot blonde chick, and they moved down south to South Carolina or some shit. They the dude worked with uh Trisha and Kelly. Um, I forget his name. Not Caesar.
SPEAKER_01No. No. Uh I know who you're talking about. I can't think of his name.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. Was he in there? Yeah. Yeah, that's the whole reason we he they came over and he wanted to go for a ride and never been. Then you just bouncing the ass off that razor off of trees going around the fucking. I did do that. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But we went through there in a hurry, didn't we? Oh, we got through there in a short second.
SPEAKER_02But did you die? No, that's that's the thing. Um, how do you feel about the movie Super Troopers?
SPEAKER_01I liked it. It was funny.
SPEAKER_02I gotta watch part two. Part two? It's not out yet. Because I've never no, that's part three coming.
SPEAKER_01Oh.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I better get caught up then because I never watched part two.
SPEAKER_02We need to have a date night so we can get caught up because my old lady. Yeah, it's a stupid fucking movie. Shut up. Yeah, Hallmark movies of yours I've watched. Yeah. And those are stupid. And the problem with Hallmark movies. I'm gonna tell you. Please do. The problem with Hallmark movies is all these young coming of age girls are watching the Hallmark Christmas movies and stuff. Well, it's paint such a bullshit expectation in their minds. Oh, I'm gonna come home and he's gonna be tall, dark, and handsome, and all he's gonna talk about is how much he loves me and how everything he does is for me.
SPEAKER_01No. No bitches for your pussy.
SPEAKER_02Yes. That's it. You shut that off, and let's see how nice he is.
SPEAKER_01If there was no gash, there is no tall, dark, and handsome man.
SPEAKER_02No. And show him what it's really like. Jesus Christ, uh Bernice, really? You're home late again? Or Jesus Christ, yeah. You know, I like real life. Uh sometimes I wish real life was a little happier than what real life really is. Well consistently. Yeah. You know, everybody has good and bad days.
SPEAKER_01Life is not a fairy tale.
SPEAKER_02No, it's not.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um is that a song? No, I don't think so.
SPEAKER_02You just came up with it.
SPEAKER_01Well, we can write one.
SPEAKER_02I like that. Yeah. That's another thing we should do. We should get you a keyboard. Yeah. And then you can do music once in a while. You want me to be a penis? Yeah, you're already kind of a dick.
SPEAKER_01Well, according to my wife, I'm a Dickless cunt. And she just picked that one up from a new series that we started watching on the Netflix. And if you haven't watched it yet, it's called The Hawk. And it's got Will Farrell in it. He's the Wilker. I don't know that it's Owen Wilson. I think I think she may have misspoke. I can't. I'm not going to say she's wrong. Right. So I want that on the record.
SPEAKER_02But I'll be goddamn be fucking hell on wheels if I say she's right.
SPEAKER_01I couldn't place the guy. I knew he looked really familiar. I could not place who he was. In fact, I'm going to look it up right now to see because I'm all over that, bud.
SPEAKER_02You got it? Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay. It's Golden Fisk is his name in the show.
SPEAKER_02The hawk or is it Hawk?
SPEAKER_01I think it's the hawk. But I could be wrong on that as well. Anyway, it's about Will Farrell being a professional golfer, and it's 10 episodes. Very funny. Very Will Farrell. So if you like him, you'll like it. You'll laugh. It's good stuff. I recommend it. We're four episodes in right now. And I'm enjoying it. I think it's pretty good. What is taking you so long on figuring out what the fuck it is? I'm trying to do it.
SPEAKER_02This ad just popped up. Said moving is complicated. Your internet shouldn't be. Well get us some real internet. I'll get you the fuck. Reload. Yeah. It's shit. Yeah, you want to go ahead and look up the Yeah, I got it.
SPEAKER_01Because you're slower than a snail with AIDS.
SPEAKER_02How slow? Is a snail with AIDS slower than a normal sail? Well, I would think so. It's sickly. Would you rather be a sloth or like a jackrabbit? Something full of energy or something that just chilled out? Say that again? Would you rather be a sloth or like a jackrabbit? Do you want to like or do you want to just kind of like a jackrabbit? Really?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. You wanna know why? Because rabbits fuck like crazy. They do. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02They also have a fuck ton of kids.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So the actor that plays Golden Wilson is Golden.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_02Luke Wilson.
SPEAKER_01No, yes. Luke Wilson is the actor. So I don't know if he's related to Owen Wilson.
SPEAKER_02Yes, they're brothers. Are they? Yep.
SPEAKER_01Luke is that's why they look familiar, but I didn't think it was Owen Wilson because he didn't have that same voice and he didn't have quite as big of a nose.
SPEAKER_02My in-law, uh the girl part, mother-in-law.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_02They were in Hawaii. And the in-law was at uh a restaurant, and she's got this picture of Owen Wilson. And I said, Oh my god, did you go say hi to him? Oh no, what would I say? You should have started it with hi. Oh my god, that fortune finger. Who's that big old bitch? On the show.
SPEAKER_01Like a mm curly headed big old grimace. Oh yeah. That's his caddy.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I bet she can carry some clubs.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yep. Luke Wilson and Owen Wilson are brothers.
SPEAKER_02You're right on the I think Luke's uh older.
SPEAKER_01Could be. Anyway, go ahead.
SPEAKER_02Yeah and Chuck.
SPEAKER_01No, I don't care.
SPEAKER_02Really? You don't care? So if we met them, I'm involved in your Oh anywho. Yeah, it was a short story. All my stories tend to be short. Um Yeah, they saw him at a restaurant, took a picture of him from like across the room, but never went over there and said hi.
SPEAKER_01But at the same time, I can respect that because they're people just like we are.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but I would have waited by the exit until he left at least and said hey.
SPEAKER_01I'd have said hey before then, hoping he'd pay my tax.
SPEAKER_02Dude, you wouldn't believe it, but I don't work in Hollywood and I can't afford this place. Right.
SPEAKER_01I didn't know it was this expensive.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, oh God, have you ever done that? Gonna take the lady out, whether it's been lately or fucking 15 years ago. But you guys ever go somewhere to eat and your forehead kind of starts beating up with sweat a little bit when you open the menu and you're like, oh fuck. You ever been there? No, I don't think so. No? Oh god. Yeah, she ordered number seven the other night, and I was like, fuck.
SPEAKER_01And you want a large size? No, we ain't doing this. It's an extra 39 cents. Um last week, not quite this early in the show.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_01Probably about, I don't know, five, six minutes from now.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01Do you recall not the greatest reindeer of them all?
SPEAKER_02That's Rudolph.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I was talking about one of our top listeners. Actually, I you know what? I think she's I think she's the top listener. Because I know Oh, girl on the way to work. I know for a fact that she has listened to every single episode. Yeah. And we appreciate that so much. Um, and I said she listens to us on her way to and from work. And she got to that part coming from, right? Correct. Because I said, well, at this point in the show, she's on her way home from work. I got a text from Kelly that said I can't remember word for word, and I'm not going to scroll that far back to find it, but OMG. I am on my way home from work right now. Thanks for the shout out. But I knew, because I pay attention to our listeners as much as I can. And she was, in fact, on her way home from work, and she'll be on her way home from work when she hears this part of the show. Which is kind of funny. Yep. So, Andrea, thanks for always listening and giving us a chance. Um, but we haven't received your 33 cents a day.
SPEAKER_02No, we haven't. Tell Terry You want to check with his show is better than Brad's.
SPEAKER_01We already know.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01From you call it credible sources.
SPEAKER_02But you've never been. I'd never been his either. Then what makes you think it's so goddamn spectacular? Uh they could be lying to you.
SPEAKER_01I've heard it through the grapevine.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, well, I've heard a lot of things through the grapevine, but I ain't Marvin Gay and I ain't getting rich off the shit, so I ain't just about to lose your mind. Have you ever heard the Kelly song?
SPEAKER_01The Kelly song?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01From Cheers. Nah. Cheers was a little bit before my time.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01I was still watching cartoons when Cheers was out.
SPEAKER_02You'll have to look it up because you could turn that on tonight when you slide into bed.
SPEAKER_01Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_02Mind blown in the next ten minutes.
SPEAKER_01Have you ever heard the O'Sheila song?
SPEAKER_02Oh, Sheila.
SPEAKER_01By Ready for the World? No. Oh, Sheila. Oh. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Love you till the morning comes.
SPEAKER_02Tito listens to that every now and then when she gets liquored up on the way home.
SPEAKER_01We covered this many, many, many episodes ago.
SPEAKER_02She listens to that a lot, and I don't like it. You like that song?
SPEAKER_01They were a one-hit wonder. Ready for the world. They're from Flint. Oh, they are? Yeah. And my aunt, Kathy, was married to one of the guys in the on in that group, and the lead singer was that guy's brother.
SPEAKER_02What happened to their marriage? Did he go out and get a I don't know. Sheila?
unknownI don't know.
SPEAKER_02Maybe. That would have been a neater story.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. But yeah, they were they were just a one-hit wonder band from Flint, but they everybody knows that song.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I I'm not a fan. Uh there used to be a bar in Flint that had a lot of concerts.
SPEAKER_01The machine shop.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_01Is that still open? Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02Do they still do concerts? Yeah, they do. Do they? Yep. Why don't we ever go there?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. Ryan was there about a month or so ago.
SPEAKER_02There's a lot of hard the I don't either.
SPEAKER_01Um a lot of it's that.
SPEAKER_02What is that coming up? I think it's in Grand Rapids. Uh it's a two-day thing, and uh that's what it is. It's a whole bunch of just screaming like they got fucking belly aches.
SPEAKER_01I'm not sure how anybody can get into that.
SPEAKER_02I don't either. I really don't. It's just yelling, settle down.
SPEAKER_01Eat my pussy, eating the ass, blah, blah, blah. Mow the grass. Yeah, no, I'm not.
SPEAKER_02That's like a mix of death metal and fucking rapping. You might be onto something there.
SPEAKER_01That was a mix between Megadeth and Eminem.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Fucking Megadeath. Um, yeah, I don't know, you know.
SPEAKER_01Speaking of concerts.
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_01In our state. We never really talked about this, I don't think. But they had the electric forest.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, dropping that fucking baby in the toilet.
SPEAKER_01No good piece of shit, motherfucker. And I would say I hope you're listening so you can hear this, but I hope you're not listening. We don't need people to listen. Because you're a fucking piece of trash. Had a fucking baby and left it in a dead in a portageon.
SPEAKER_02Did you see a guy I think it's from Grand Rapids? He actually put up the money to bury that fetus. I did.
SPEAKER_01Which is pretty cool. That's very upstanding, and I and I respect the hell out of that.
SPEAKER_02Good job, dude. But today. What a piece of shit. DNA and me, 23 in me, all that shit.
SPEAKER_01You guys can't track out who that belongs to. I thought I saw an article that said they figured out who it was.
SPEAKER_02Did they? Yeah. I hope they fry the bitch. Yeah. And the fucking no good something that blew a wad in her.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. That is just so sickening and so depressing.
SPEAKER_02You want to talk about things that are sickening. I'm listening. You see that motherfucker in Grand Haven? Yeah. Shot his wife and what, five kids or six kids? Yeah, and one of them wasn't even his.
SPEAKER_01It was kid's friend.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And then fucking lights the house and fire in multiple places.
SPEAKER_01Dude, I'm not a all because she caught him cheating.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And she had a big Instagram thing where she was on a group talking about fuckers cheating and stuff. Oh, this is done. I think I need to finally get out. You know, go kill yourself, dude. I'm not a big proponent of that, but you don't take out a whole fucking family.
SPEAKER_01No, that they didn't do anything wrong. No. They did not deserve that.
SPEAKER_02What a piece of shit.
SPEAKER_01Um. Yeah, that uh that's that's people are fucked up.
SPEAKER_02They are. Yeah. There's a lot of fucked up people.
SPEAKER_01If the world was more like Bob and Brad, it would be so much more a pleasant place to live.
SPEAKER_02It would be a simple living.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yep. Fuck you. You. And then we just go about our business. Yeah. Exactly. Um I saw somewhere too. Uh God, they're just a whole fucking mess of shit. Um, a couple 13-year-olds shot each other at a fucking uh park up north. I think it was by West Branch, maybe the other side of the street. Oh, yeah, I saw that. See that too, yeah. You know, first off, how the fuck did they get a gun? You should get your ass fried. Yes. Yep. Yes. You're the gun owner. Your kid got it. No weeping willow on you. You go to fucking prison. Yep. Lock him up. Yep. Lock him up. And two, watch your fucking kids. A 13-year-old don't need to be in a goddamn park at two in the fucking morning. No. No. But that's the way society is now. No.
SPEAKER_01That motherfucker should have had a razor strap plastered to his ass. Goddamn right. Bam, bam.
SPEAKER_02Buckle end. Yeah. If he's a slow learner. Right.
unknownFuck.
SPEAKER_02Well, yeah. And you know, then you start reading comments and all this shit, and the amount of people that agree. Oh, they didn't do nothing wrong. Yes, they did. He was a good boy. Oh, and while we're talking about it.
SPEAKER_01I wasn't.
SPEAKER_02Oh, God. I gotta tread carefully here because I live not too far from the county. But uh one of our sheriffs in a county that's kind of right in here in Michigan.
SPEAKER_01That's a big area.
SPEAKER_02Uh lost his gun. Had it in his car, and uh it was stolen out of his car. But my car was locked. Oh, was a window broke?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_02Locked Jimmy'd? No.
SPEAKER_01Then your car wasn't locked.
SPEAKER_02Then your car wasn't locked. Uh they'll lie to the people. They were gonna hit him on the safe storage fucking act or whatever the fuck it's called. And they ended up having the neighboring county investigate it, and oh, he was cleared, which is whatever. It went through court. But for one, if you're in trouble in one county, your county should not pick the county you're gonna go to. The state police should come in and do it.
SPEAKER_01Correct.
SPEAKER_02And secondly, you uh I'm surprised they didn't. You leave your fucking gun in your console and you run into uh tailgators to look at the span ducks. Oh yeah. No shortage of that. And then you come out, would it take you five days to realize that that gun's missing? Absolutely not. Because you're not your responsible.
SPEAKER_01No. In fact, call me paranoid if you want.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But when I'm traveling in and out of places, and I got a busy day and all that, and if I'm not carrying my pistol on my person, it's in my council in my truck. Don't get no ideas, motherfuckers.
SPEAKER_02No. They'll shoot you.
SPEAKER_01Um I get out of my truck, make sure it's locked.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_01Go into the store, do what I gotta do, come back out. First thing I do is look.
SPEAKER_02Make sure it's still there.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Because I don't want any time lapse of any issues.
SPEAKER_02You know, so okay. It's missing.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_02They find uh three or four cities away in the hands of a miner. Do you think you're just gonna walk away and say, oh shit? No, you're fucked. That's the problem I got.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you're fucked.
SPEAKER_02You know, and I'm not attacking this guy. Or and if it sounds like I am, I don't mean to. People people fuck up.
unknownYes.
SPEAKER_02We all make mistakes. Yes. I just wish that it would have been. Just just admit you meant you fucked up. Yes. Because there's no other way that you can explain that away.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_02So just just admit it and hey, we'll get we'll get through it. But uh say, oh, blah, blah, blah. Well, bullshit.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02You know. That happened to me, I'd probably likely put my elbow through my window and say, yeah, somebody broke in here. Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_01You shouldn't say that.
SPEAKER_02No, because now when it happens, they're gonna go back and say, God damn, I remember listening to this.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but they're gonna have to listen to 41 fucking episodes to get there.
SPEAKER_02Well, hey, we still got a lot of a lot of downloads every episode.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. No, I th I think we're doing really well. Um, we're coming up close to our one-year anniversary.
SPEAKER_02Uh, four weeks. Yeah. Well, three weeks.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Holy shit.
SPEAKER_02We're gonna have to get a cake.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Hey, and if any of you uh, because you know, you guys all live in 2026 like we do. Bills are getting expensive, everything's going high. This is not me begging for money, but if any of you got a good looking uh girlfriend wife that would like to jump out of the cake, let us know.
SPEAKER_01We can wheel that bitch right on through. Yeah, that's right. The cake, not the woman.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. If we gotta wheel her through, we're probably not interested.
SPEAKER_01Well, I said the bitch. Bring the bitch right on through. The cake. Oh. Not the contents.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Don't want nobody thinking I called him a bitch.
SPEAKER_02No. So, yeah, in lieu of 33 cents a day, you can donate your itch.
SPEAKER_01But it can't be naked because that goes against the city.
SPEAKER_02Well, it can be naked, and I can put little squares on there. Oh, yeah. Yeah, naked. It's perfectly fine. Yeah. Yeah, we'll we'll edit that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um, because uh it's a big deal to us.
SPEAKER_02It is.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Made it a year, ain't burned out.
SPEAKER_01No, I actually I think I'm having more fun every episode.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you know, and I always wonder like, are people getting tired of things? But nobody ever comments, they are.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So unless you do, we you gotta assume everything's okie dokey.
SPEAKER_01Right. And uh if you're still listening this far in, which you all better be. Um don't forget to go to our social medias, whether it's TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube. Um make sure you're hitting the likes and the follows and the subscribes and the whatever else there is to click on.
SPEAKER_02I see a lot of you motherfuckers every day saying happy birthday to somebody.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02In that amount of time, what's one more click? Right. Let's see what these dumb fucks are doing. One more click. Good. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01No, we can't afford a fucking soundboard.
SPEAKER_02Um, yeah, so it'd mean a lot to us because you know, we don't want to pack up the bags and the kids and the grandkids and everything we love in life and move over the pond to Britain so we can get our popularity over there because Josh and Jace, they're killing it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know, here we are in the greatest country in the world.
SPEAKER_01And you know, speaking of doing different things to to get the views, I took a fucking bullet for this.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I was just gonna say that. We shot your ass.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Literally. Is that healed up yet? No. Oh, shit. In fact, it's not healed up. And earlier today, I have a problem with picking scabs. Oh no. And it finally has scabbed over.
SPEAKER_02And you picked it.
SPEAKER_01And I just barely picked that, and that motherfucker was gushing more blood than you could shake a stick. No shit. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02My sister, babysat, for this family, and uh, I forget their names, and that probably doesn't really need to be exposed.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02But uh the kid would have a scab, mom would come over there, pick his scabs, and she'd eat them. Ugh. The fuck. I bet that kid is fucked up and he's in goddamn psychotherapy by now.
SPEAKER_01That's probably one of the same kids that was on the tit for till they were four years old. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02Breastfeeding. That's fucked up too. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I mean, good on the kid, but bad on the parents.
SPEAKER_02Well, yes, no. Incest is the best. Put your cousin to the test. I think that's how that goes.
SPEAKER_01Closer to kin the deeper in.
SPEAKER_02That's fucked up.
SPEAKER_01Why do we always come up with such sick and twisted shit this late in the episode?
SPEAKER_02Because no we know nobody's listening, so nobody will complain.
SPEAKER_01You know, and it's funny too, for those of you who have stuck it out this far. Um, we have had over the last five episodes, we have had zero notes. Like maybe one here and there. Everything has been winged. Oh, yeah. Nothing is edited, nothing is changed. Can you tell? I hit record and we talk and we wing 99% of these shows.
SPEAKER_02I hate to pick on Josh and Jay's. Yep. But do you think like all their little videos and everything are all edited? I'm sure they are. Oh, I'm sure. So there's there's very we're what they call organic.
SPEAKER_01We're what they call the one percenters. Oh, yeah. We don't change shit. What you see is what you get, what you hear is what we say, and we don't cut anything out. We don't use any special programming to filter out the pauses. You know what we should do?
SPEAKER_02We should get some vests, leather ones that say one percenters on it. And then when we get our asses beat next week, we'll have a lot to talk about.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, with black eyes.
SPEAKER_02Coming at you live from Sparrow. Maine.
SPEAKER_01Oh shit.
SPEAKER_02Fuck me.
SPEAKER_01On that note, I don't have a whole lot more to have.
SPEAKER_02I didn't have nothing to start with, so yeah, it'd be a good time to for an hour and sixteen minutes into her. Let's hang her up. We'll call it a short one.
SPEAKER_01All right. So, as always, stay positive, test negative, and we'll catch you on the next one. Bye bye.