From Broken to Reborn: Estelle Nkubito's Journey of Healing, Identity & Inner Power

In this powerful episode of Beyond the Title, Estelle shares her raw and deeply personal journey from a childhood marked by isolation, trauma, and self-doubt to becoming the founder of the Feminine Rebirth Method.

Growing up feeling like the “black sheep,” Estelle opens up about battling insecurity, toxic environments, alcohol dependency, and an eating disorder—all while appearing confident on the outside. It wasn’t until she confronted her past, uncovered repressed trauma, and began a deep inner healing journey that everything changed.

Through spirituality, somatic work, and self-discovery, Estelle transformed her pain into purpose—now helping women reconnect with themselves, release stored trauma, and step into their true power.

If you’ve ever felt lost, disconnected, or like something is missing—this conversation will open your eyes to what’s truly possible

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Welcome to Beyond the Title. I'm your host, Christelle. I'm very proud to welcome founder of the Feminine Rebirth Method and body-based transformation and teacher. Please welcome Estelle and Kabito. Yes, welcome. Welcome to Beyond the Title. It's nice to have you here. Thanks for reaching out. Thank you so much. So we're going to take it right back. That's what Beyond the Title is all about, starting from the beginning, uh, beyond the title that you are now. Uh, tell us a little bit about your childhood growing up and how was it for you?

SPEAKER_00 0:42

My childhood was not as beautiful as my adult experience, I would say. And I didn't realize how much it would have impacted me now. But growing up, I grew up in Europe, in Belgium. Oh nice. I have an uh African background, so I'm from Rwanda. And growing up, I was the only kid, black kid in my neighborhood. Growing up in a private school, learned English really early on, but I was always the black sheep. Changed school a few times, and so I never quite found my space, my groups, my people, and I always felt like the alienated people, an alienated person. And so growing up, it was always hard to find my way. And I always grew up thinking that I was broken, that there was something wrong with me, that I would never that I was not smart. Because I was different, people would always tell me, you don't understand. You don't, you're not smart enough, you're you're different. And so I grew up grew up like this and I was a little bit chubby.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

Well, it sounds like my life.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

Right? Yeah, relate to that completely. Yeah. So I was I was chubby, I was black, and my hair was uh short. Because I had really big uh uh creepy hair. Not creepy, but curly. Uh no, in French it's called crepu. Ah, crepu. Yeah. So I had really thick hair and my dad would shave them off.

SPEAKER_02 2:00

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

So I was young, really small, with no hair, chubby, no friends, and black. So it I was really the black sheep. And the thing is, I don't remember much of my childhood. But what happened is when I got 16, I when I was 14, I went I I got put on a weight loss journey because I was overweight. And I started losing weight. So who put you on the weight loss journey? My my mom.

SPEAKER_01 2:22

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

Because it was it was trying to help you. She was trying to help me.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

So I started losing weight at 14 years old, and when I was 16, so from 14 to 16, I lost 20 kilos.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 2:34

And I started looking really good. So imagine a really hot girl in a little chubby girl's body, uh, mind.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

So I was so insecure, and I was really seeking that validation and self-worth. And I looked really good. I looked at the picture, I looked like a model. And that's why I started getting a modeling job, and that's how I got into modeling. Because people would stop me on the street and be like, hey, can you help me? Or do you want to collaborate for this brand? Or do you want to do this? And I started really doing a lot of shoots, and I did um pageant, and I started traveling for video clips, and I started really getting um interest for my look. And that was really the breakthrough where I realized, oh, actually, I'm not as broken and as bad as I thought as a little girl. So I started going on the modeling journey. But the thing is, my mind was not very strong. I was confident, but it was fake confidence. I knew I'm I'm good at faking it. I will make you believe that, girl, I got it, but I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Really. Sounds very familiar, pattern today's society as well. Yeah, of course it does. Right? But you'll see me. I I can brainwash you into believing that I know exactly what we're talking about or what I'm doing, but nothing. And that's why I grew up. Because it was like you have to hide and you have to be strong and you have to be, you have to have it all together. Yes, you do. And so that's what happened. And I uh but the thing is, my problem was that I was drinking a lot. So I was modeling and I was, I was, I had different jobs, and modeling was making me good money, but I would party hard. Yeah, so like I was stuck in a really toxic environment where I would drink, drink, drink, and blackout. And that's one of the reasons I moved to Australia. Because I was stuck in the nightlife, like really stuck. I felt alive. Why? Because the moment I got out, I could dress short and all eyes on me.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:16

The moment I was out, I was the queen. I got the tables, the bouncer was with me. I had whatever I wanted. Like I was the queen of the nights. And so getting out of that was really tough. I didn't. Yeah. I did not get out of it. So what happened is I took a one-way flight. Uh no, I took yeah, a flight to Australia instead of going back to school. And my intention was just to learn English, improve my English, travel, discover. I got English is beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

I think it's beautiful as well. But yeah, yeah, I can your English is great.

SPEAKER_00 4:47

I'm glad to work in long progress. But yeah, arriving to Australia, the first few years was still drinking and partying a lot.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

And I think COVID, you had so coming to Australia, you were still drinking after your uh work in Europe. And I mean in Australia, it seems a bit of a culture here. So you were coming into a an environment where the alcohol was still quite prominent. And did you have anyone to address that?

SPEAKER_00 5:15

No, it and when you travel by yourself to a different country, I think you're really confronted to yourself and how self-resilient you have to be. I went through a really dark hole and dark times where I really doubted my capacity to be a human. Like I was like, I just need to numb because it's just I just need to numb. I don't know what it is, but I and the thing is I don't remember most of my childhood. I just remember the really hard hard time, but most of it I don't remember. It's just blackout. And I always had this desire, I just need to numb. I just need to forget. I just need to, I just don't, I need help to not be present.

SPEAKER_01 5:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

And so was this daily? Did this happen daily? No, not daily, but I would drink Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Saturday. Weekends.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

Party time, right? It's and are you a social person? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:02

I was. No, I'm not as much, but I was particularly.

SPEAKER_01 6:06

But you'd like to be around people. I'm a bit like that myself. I like to be around people. I love to have a good time and enjoy myself. I like to live, yeah?

SPEAKER_00 6:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

So I guess with that environment, you're surrounded by alcohol, drugs, and substance, you know. So Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you're in Australia. How old were you at this point? I'm 19. 19, and you're in Australia, you've left you've left your modelling career, or you're still modelling in Australia?

SPEAKER_00 6:27

Um, I'm still modelling in Australia. Yeah. I'm still modeling in Australia.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

And you it's good at the beginning, it's good. Yeah. So what happened? You were so you were 19, you're drinking, you're on the weekends, Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays. Um, yeah, how did it go from that point? What did you do? How did you did anything change at this age or did you continue to party?

SPEAKER_00 6:46

No, I I I did continue really hard. Uh and then COVID hit. Okay. And and the the thing is I was dealing as well with eating disorder.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Okay. I was dealing with When did that start, the eating disorder?

SPEAKER_00 6:59

I've always had it, but I was the thing is I was avoiding it when I would party, I would not eat for a few days.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

And you were drinking instead?

SPEAKER_00 7:06

Yeah. Like when I drink, I don't need to eat, right? So I get drunk faster. So I didn't realize how bad it was. I knew it was bad, but it's okay. Just get like alcohol will help me just forget about it.

SPEAKER_02 7:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:19

And when COVID hits, and I was by myself, and I always had as well issue with relationships. So I never had a relationship until I was 25.

unknown 7:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

Because I just couldn't have an intimate relationship. Like it just couldn't happen when I was sober. When I was sober, it was like I could not be touched. And so when COVID hit, I started questioning maybe there's something that I'm not seeing. Like I started going deeper. No, I forgot to tell you. In 2022, I went back home to Belgium, and that's when I realized I had an amnesia. So a lot of people have this, but no one talks about this.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

And I talk about this a lot on my social media because I'm really so sad that no one talks about this enough. Is that a lot of people have blurry memory of their childhood? Or they don't remember everything. Or they don't remember anything at all. And that happens all the time. I'll start talking to a woman and she'll be like, Oh, I actually don't remember anything as well. Or we start working, she's like, it's like I forgot. That happens a lot. That happens a lot, but it's actually not normal. And so when I realized that pattern, and that's what happened, I was so upset that no one sat me down and was like, wait, maybe something's wrong with you. No, no, nothing's wrong with you, but maybe something happened to you. Yes. That's why you're like that. But no one, it didn't seem to, you know, it didn't seem to hit. So when it hit for me, and I realized, wait, if I don't remember anything until I'm 14, so I forgot blackout. I have I remember the, as I said, I remember a few things, but it's blackout. I was like, okay, something happened. And that took me on a journey where it's like, it was almost like a revenge. When I discovered what happened, which was a lot of abuse from different people from my family, I got so angry that I was like, you stole my life. You stole my I remember nothing. You stole everything because I was empty. I was surrounded by people, but I felt so lonely. I had so many friends. I was I I believed at the time I was loved. Like in the way like people would invite me everywhere, like they would speak super highly of me all the time. Like I felt like I had a good social group.

SPEAKER_01 9:22

Yes. But when I was a social group and French uh real friends are very different, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

100%. But when I wanted to go for coffee or talk or I was like, I don't know who to call. I don't know. Yet you look at me on the outside, I've got it all.

SPEAKER_02 9:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 9:37

I've got the apartment, I've got the money, I've got the friends. But and and I was so upset that I found it, I found out that way. So I I figured it out in that really weird way. And so that took me really on this journey of it was I'm gonna take my life back. You stole from me. Let me show you who I'm gonna become now that I know that I'm not broken. Because it was also realizing, oh, I'm not a broken child.

SPEAKER_02 10:05

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

Like I was just abused in many ways, yes, and no one told me that it was not my fault.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

You know, and I think I I can I can relate to what you're saying, I won't get into too much details, but I was blamed a lot as well. There was a lot of abuse, physical, verbal, um, growing up, and even to my close to my 40s, still being being blamed and to the point where eventually I was becoming successful and finding who I really was and really going on this journey and realizing this is not my fault. People need to own their own mistakes and their own behaviors, and you can't blame anyone for that. You need to look in the mirror, yeah. So I completely I'm I'm understanding, I'm hearing this. Yeah. Keep going, please. Yeah. So you realizing that um it no one addressed it, no one addressed it to you. Yes. And how you realized, so do you think subconsciously, so if we you know, our brains are quite remarkable machines, there are things that um we block out as children. I think I did the same thing to it's to put yourself into survival mode. Uh automatically, you either turn to something else. Um for me, it was music. I used to write a lot of music and kept um I had this vision that life would always get better. And I would, I would, that would happen. Life would always get better. It just had to, I had to work on that. But my brain would automatically from the the violence and the abuse, I would turn to music. So that was my outlet. And I was at a very young, at the age of three, I was doing this. So then that around three to three to five, it was quite that was my go-to, and then that followed through the rest of my years. But um for you, you do you think that your brain automatically blocked? You said that you've you forgot what happened. So your brain obviously decided I'm gonna protect you as a protecting protective mechanism. You said you didn't remember.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

Yeah, yeah. And what really rang the alarm was I mentioned I drank a lot. But even with two glasses, I would black out. So why drinking was dangerous for me is that I would wake up and I remembered nothing of the night. Every 90% of the time, I wake up and I forgot what I did, what I said, who I spoke to, who I met. On my Instagram, there were so many people being like, Oh, it was so nice to meet you, we had the best chat. Don't at all. At all, nothing. I would see people, oh, we met last week. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

So this is always when you were drinking, you would forget.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

Yes. And then after I spoke to someone that I worked with, and they mentioned that when you drink, your subconscious opens. And so sometimes it brings shit up. So what happens is that it was safer for my mind to forget everything. And that's why I had to go through this because everything would come up and then I would just yeah, black out, but total. And that's why I thought I was broken as well. Like, why everyone can drink? And I just don't remember anything. I was fun, I believed, I knew I was fun, but I I could have super deep chat with someone and then be like not remembering them at all, and they would be frustrated and I'd be like, feel bad about it.

SPEAKER_01 13:16

Yes, so much shame. Yeah, it's it's you feel embarrassed.

SPEAKER_00 13:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:20

Yeah. And so how did you how did you change that? Because obviously you wanted to really prove the world. I can do this. And I did. You did, I can tell. Um, yeah, tell us a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

So um during COVID, I I had a moment where so I was alone in my apartment, um, Bangaro, beautiful view, beautiful apartment, and I had this breakdown where I couldn't stop eating. Like I had no substance that could I was alone and I couldn't, I couldn't numb. So I started numbing with my food. And that day I remember I was sitting on my kitchen table and I just finished my dinner, and I felt so sick. I felt really sick. And I was like, so I don't have alcohol, I don't have drugs. So what I'm doing right now is I'm making myself sick through food, and I never gone to that depth with the food. I I knew my food was really it was really unstable, my relationship, and it was scary. I was scared because I had no power with my food.

SPEAKER_02 14:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 14:24

But that day, I was like, I gotta do something. And um, and what happened is I called, I remember contacting a psychologist, and she didn't really help me. She made me feel worse. And that's where I really started rebelling as well against a bit of that.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

That can happen. I've you know, I've experienced something similar, and I was like, well, this actually doesn't really feel like it's helping me. I feel like I'm getting worse. It was so it was so bad. I was 20 years old.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

Right? Yeah. I was 20 years old and I'm calling for help and I'm like, yeah, I've got an issue with food, I don't know what to do, this is scary, I can't control it. But because I was not fat enough, because I was going to the gym, right? I looked after my body. Yes. Like I I would eat, but I would look after my body, so you would never tell that I was suffering so much. Yes. On the outside, I look good.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:04

So I was not, it was hard for people to get that I was in so much pain. Yes. So she did, I don't think she realized how much struggle, and I told her, but obviously you don't, you're not fat enough. But she gave me a book and she said, You're a food addict. And I'm 20 years old in my apartment by myself, and I'm like, I'm a food addict? Is that what so I ate more because I'm a food addict. Right. And I was like, and so God bless my life, I went on a different path, the spiritual path. That's where I found shamanism, that's where I found plant medicine, that's where I found Buddhism, that's where I found ancient wisdom, that's where I found my path. Because I was like, I'm never going back to these people. And I did my first um plant medicine with ayahuasca, so it's a shamanic, uh, it's an ancient plant medicine from South America. And wow, it just it changed my life. Because when I did that plant medicine, I've I it's like I woke up to the fact that I'm so much more than this little girl in pain. There's so much to me. Did you do your research yourself, or did someone introduce you to that? No, someone introduced me to that. Okay. But you know when they say the student is ready, the teacher appears. Yeah, of course. And it's power of the universe. And I was so and I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I'm this 20-year-old girl talking to everyone about my like I'm really open. So I would this is me. And and this woman was like, we have a very deep connection, and she's an older lady. She's maybe 45 now, 50. All my friends are older. Um, no, she's older than me. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

It's okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

Older than me at the time, because at the time I was 20 and she was 46. My 40s. And but and but we had a really tight bond, and all my friend at the time was still way older. And we had a really tight bond, and and she said, I think you're ready to meet the medicine. And I said, Yeah, I'm ready for anything. Just send it to me. And I went, obviously, you have the preparation I prepared, but I didn't know what I got myself into. And I will I'll never forget because I remember thinking, wow, there's so much I don't know. And it's like really, I feel like for the first time I was able to just see the fact that maybe I don't know anything about me, about the world I live in, about my family, about anything, and maybe it's just okay to just start learning about myself and from a place of love. Because until that point, that first medicine journey, I never actually thought of love. What is love? Like what what I'm supposed to love myself? What do you mean? Like, what do you mean? I'm supposed to be kind to myself? I'm supposed to actually respect this body? What does that mean? Like, yeah, do I have to value me? I I it never clicked. Self-worth? What? What do you mean? What? I'm cool. Like, yeah, I was just a show. It was a good show.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

Yeah, because you were obviously in the spotlight. So you were as you said, life of the party, you turn up, all eyes on me, you know, you felt it was almost artificial love on the outside. Yeah. Yeah. So you hadn't really explored inner love and inner peace. Yeah. Okay, so yeah. And how did that keep going? How did you end up on this path, this new is it, rebirth path?

SPEAKER_00 18:24

Oh so good. Um after that first ceremony, I really went on this deep journey within, and I did what's called the Pashna. So I did 10 days in silence with it's like a Buddhist tradition where you go in silence for 10 days and you learn to meditate for 10 hours a day.

SPEAKER_01 18:44

Do you go off site to do that? Is there a place that you go to do this? No, there's a place in Sydney. Yeah, so you actually not at home, you do this. Oh no, not home. Off site. Yeah. With a teacher.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

Yes, and there's one everywhere in the world and it's free. It's on donation. Like people go there and they just find themselves.

SPEAKER_02 18:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

And after that, I quit alcohol for a year and a half. It was just sudden. Yeah. And prior to that, I tried. So what happened is after my first plant medicine, I tried a lot of things. A lot. Because I was like, okay, I can actually get better and I can change my life. There's I can see it now. I get it. It's just that I was never given the tools. I was never given the manual first to become a woman. Like I didn't even know like how this body was working. Or like, you know how we spoke about ovulatory? Yes. I didn't even know that like ovulation was a thing, you know? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

Now it's like But you when you when you look and want to have a b have a baby one day, you'll you'll know about that.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

Well, but even for work, even for business. Like I aligned my business with my ovulatory phases. Yes. And it's like it's it's such a hack. Yes. But then are you there were so many things that I didn't know that made me feel like I was the problem. So once I started learning about all this and doing all the work, I was getting better, but there was some still something missing. Because I was doing all the mindset work, the mental work, the work on it was still good, but still surface level. You know, hypnotherapy, unconscious. Yes, it's good, but there was something missing.

SPEAKER_01 20:09

So this is after a year and a half in? That's that's that you felt this? Um, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was all so you worked on this for a year and a half and you still felt something was missing.

SPEAKER_00 20:18

Yes. Yes, yes. Okay. I went deep after my plant medicine, went deep, worked on myself, tried many different things. I did get better. I healed a lot, and I just I feel like I could breathe again, but there was always something missing. And that's when I discovered what's called somatics. That's when I discovered what's called energetic activation. That's when I discovered emotional liberation, which is primal, like primal liberation, which is all the things that I that I preach now that I do, but I preach it because when I discovered that, I was like, I've been lied to. Like everything is a joke. Like my body had so much to say, but it's been trapped. It was so trapped, I had so much anger, so much rage, so much fear trapped in my body that when I for my first liberation, like when I did my first breath work, and then I did my first kundalini, it's like the beast was out, but it was so liberating. And after, it's almost like I turned the switch back on. I feel like I I I really feel like I came back alive and I gave a voice to my body, and I was like, oh my god, this is what it feels like to be me. Like, and I've never felt so clear on who I am since I've started working with my body. Like, since I've disconnected this and I've stopped focusing on identifying, analyzing, and interpreting what it is what is and what it should be, I started being. And now I'm just like I'm just a girl. The more I do the work, the more I'm becoming a little. A girl, I'm smart, like I'm deep, of course. Like I'm really profound in the work that I do, yet I'm such a girl. Like, oh, like there's no problem.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

So now it's coming out now.

SPEAKER_00 22:11

Yes. Yes. Yes, I never got to be a girl. Yeah. And it's that's what's fascinating. Is I see it as well with the women I work with, is the more we release, the more we do the work, people always think it's serious, is oh, we work with trauma. Like, but it's liberating. Yeah, we go through the trauma for what? Like an hour, 30 minutes. It gets better, it gets shorter every time. And then you you remove weight, you know, and the womb as a woman carries up to seven generations of trauma. And it's okay, it's not our fault. And you don't you don't have to do this work in any anyway to get well because everyone is different and everyone has a different path. So I'm not saying you need this. What I'm saying is if you f if someone feels stuck and they haven't looked at the actual stored energy, which is emotions in the body, that's such an important part. And that's what gave me my freedom. I always say I feel free. I feel peace. I feel presence, which before that you ask me what it is, do I feel present? I'm like, what do you mean? Like I'm always in my head asking myself, like, you know, future pacing, thinking about the past. Like I was never present.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 23:19

Now it's like when I'm with someone, I I forget about time and space. And that's for me, that's priceless.

SPEAKER_01 23:25

It is what the book is. What a gift you found. Yes. And that's a credit to you to actually making the change because it's a very big thing. And to not have someone say, Hey, there's something wrong or I think something's right, for you to actually acknowledge that within yourself, that takes a lot. And I think that's a and that's a gift in itself that you manage to do that. And so, how long have you been running the um the feminine rebirth method? So and I and whereabouts are you established? Uh, how did you do you have a do you have at a set place, your house? Is it at a do you hire a space? How does it work?

SPEAKER_00 24:03

So, how does it work? I do mainly online because I I'm set in Sydney, but I live in between Sydney and Belgium.

SPEAKER_02 24:10

Right.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

So I host uh container and training in Sydney and in Belgium. And so I started training a year ago, but it just happened to come to me. So I would do circles, I've been doing circle for circles for two years. And after my circle, women would be like, Can you train me? And at some point I realized, yeah, I actually can. And I started training, and it was beyond what I thought was what I would expect, and I had so much fun. So I started training, and then what happened is that I started putting all my teachings together. I learned from different many teachers, from quantum physics to shamanism to Hinduism to indigenous culture to to to hypnotherapy. Like I've really learned from so many different people that I started bringing everything together, and every time I did something, I always felt like there was something missing. So what I did is I put everything together and I started training these girls. And that's how the the the method was born is just by doing what I loved and responding to the the the call where people were like, I actually want to learn this. And this method was like birthed like this, and I do it in person or online.

SPEAKER_02 25:23

And it's okay.

SPEAKER_01 25:29

So we I do it too. So you do it online. Yeah, so you do it online, um, and you go you teach in Belgium, Belgium, and you teach in Sydney as well. Yes. So um, and in Belgium, uh the same thing as well, online. And then do you hire a space and you know, women book online through your uh social media platform?

SPEAKER_00 25:46

Yes, so everything goes through my social media. Yeah, like well gifts, social media is it can be great, it can be bad, but for business. And the thing is, people want to know who you are. Yes, people buy people buy from you.

SPEAKER_02 25:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:56

The people that I work with, there's people that know me. Yeah, they're like they've sat with me, they know me, they've they've met me, and they're like, I can feel it. Yeah, there's some you've got something I don't have. Yeah, and it's that's true because people want to know who you who is behind the the program.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

Yes, of course.

SPEAKER_00 26:11

Because at the end, and that's what always you're selling the truth.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

Yeah. People buy people don't want to buy fake, they want to buy real, and they want to know they want to face to the product, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:20

A hundred percent, a hundred percent. And um, and and and I feel that that's relationship, and that's what I try to do as much as I can on my social media is who am I? Yes, this is who I am. Yeah, I'm crazy, but I'm deep, but I can see through shit. I I can tell you what I see, but it might be uncomfortable. And that's me. And that's what social media really helped me with. And um, I do women's circle, but that's just like a ta I give a taste to women, so they come into the space and I merge a lot of um I do a lot of shadow work. So I like to speak about the energy of the repressed feminine. So for many years, m women haven't been given a lot of space to speak, to express themselves, to put boundaries, to speak what they want. So all this is in the room. So in my spaces, we just just uh give a good reset to that.

SPEAKER_02 27:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:10

And if you feel comfortable, because it's not for obviously it's not for not everyone is into that level of movement, um, that's why I invite them into okay a deeper work, which is the program. Yes. And and the thing that I say as well is why so I in the process of receiving an activation from me or from anyone, what happens is you can have movement, right? Energy moved through the body, the kundalini, which is one of the our the energy that I work with, when it moves through someone's body, people can start having movement because it's we're releasing emotions from the body and it can release through movement. And it's nothing scary, it's just the body expressing itself.

SPEAKER_02 27:48

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

And I had a circle yesterday, and um, and I'm with one of the girls that I'm training, and one of the girls had a really intense reaction, movement reaction, like really intense where people could be like, Whoa, this is dangerous, like this is really dangerous. And and the trainee was like, Okay, what do we do? I said, We don't do nothing. Because her body knows exactly what it's doing. But the reason I could because obviously I did something to hold her and help her just stabilize, but the reason I was not scared and I was able to hold her in that, it's because I myself went through the same thing. If you see me myself go through my own process now, you think I'm dying. Yeah, you're gonna call the ambulance. You're gonna like, we gotta help this girl. But no, I'm processing my own body. And the deeper I go, the more I process. But now I've turned the trauma into pleasure.

SPEAKER_02 28:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 28:38

So now when I process my trauma, there's so much pleasure that I'm like, when there's people around, I have to hold myself not to just because the thing is, we're not meant to stay in that dense energy. Yes, I know that you're trying to do that. You're meant to transmute it, right? And so this is why it's like go through the dark stuff, go through the heaviness. It's meant to go through. But then on the other side, it's like, can you just blend in some pleasure, some fun, some joy, and eventually just turn it into a full play party?

SPEAKER_01 29:07

Well, this is gonna go viral. The ladies will love it too. It is the truth, where it's natural.

SPEAKER_00 29:15

And the thing people are scared of working on the trauma where it's actually nothing, it's not a big deal. Yes. Oh, it's it's important to be aware of what we're working through, but it's not this thing that's can ruin your life or that's gonna keep you in the dark hole. No, you you heal it, you identify, you clear it, you heal it, you integrate it, boom. Yes, you change.

SPEAKER_01 29:34

Yes, yes, I definitely understand that. And you when you've this is speaking from experience, when you feel the weight come off and lift off your shoulders and you start to live authentically who you are, and you start to really be who you are, like you said, your body reacts and you feel, you glow, you feel free, you flow, you flow better. I have people saying to me, you look younger than what you did, you know, back in your 20s or 30s. And I'm like, I don't know, I've I feel different. I have changed and I've gone through, I've gone through so much, and I've also had to address the issues and notice my flaws and issues, like problems that it were that I was carrying and weight of other people's problems that have been put onto me that I was carrying for so long. And once you identify that and let go and lift it off, uh sometimes that requires taking people out of your life. I know this, you know, you may or may not know. Um, you you know, very people close to you that are pulling you and weighing you, you you need to make some tough decisions in life. And yeah, I I know the feeling, and the body feels, I feel more feminine, I feel, I feel more attractive. I didn't feel that way for so many years, didn't feel beautiful anymore, didn't feel loved, I didn't feel those feelings. So I would say for like minimum 15 years, I felt that way. So um after coming out of my separation after 22 years coming out and finding who I am, finding myself again, and through music, through art, through creative, through this podcast, as we sit here today and speak, I feel liberated and I feel, I feel like a real woman. And I feel like a woman now. I feel like I'm I'm coming back. So when you say that body movement, I'm just like totally connected. I was like, I know that feeling. Yeah. So it is a beautiful thing. And I think if more women could feel that, it would be, it would be a lot more happy within ourselves. But it does, I think over time, depending on, and this is just speaking from experience, and speaking to other women who are mothers uh who become wives, um, it can be quite hard because uh it's almost at a young age as a young woman, we are programmed. I I mean, I I was, and this is no fault of any parent. I'm not blaming any parents out here or my own parents, I'm not blaming, but as women, we are taught to, well, cook, clean, and look after your man and do everything for him. And um, we are not taught to look after ourselves first. We can't be uh a great wife and a great uh mother or you know, whatever we want to be, if we're not look looking after ourselves first. And then we take on board these responsibilities and we lose ourselves. We we get married and we we lose our last name. So that at one point you lose your identity. It's a very, very big part. We have women lose our sense of identity and then we start to lose who we are. Um, but I think if we can work on this before, like you've done at such a young age, you know, life can be quite beautiful. And you can have healthy relationships and you can, and there are it's teamwork and it you don't have to lose yourself. But I I would this is one thing I love educating women about is trying to lose your identity, you know, when you meet someone. Yeah. But I love your work, I love what you've done for yourself and now teaching others. So this is a very important part of this uh podcast is how you've used your experience, you've transformed yourself, and now you're evolving into changing the lives of other people in the community and across the globe. Across the globe, like that's phenomenal. Yes, you know, like that is a huge achievement. Did you ever think, did you ever wonder, like you did you ever think you could ever get to this point? And did you think you'd be doing it? You did.

SPEAKER_00 33:24

I always I always knew I wanted to do something big, bold, and like I thought I was gonna be a famous actress or um well they will after this podcast. Well, I I I always saw myself on stage. Yeah, I remember when I was 16, I told my mom, I'm gonna be famous speaking on stage and changing people's lives, and that's how I'm gonna be known, but I didn't know about what. Subconsciously. And I and this, so I'm growing pretty fast, but it just feels normal. Yeah, it's almost like I expected it. Yes, and and and as you said, because a big part of my mission is I feel like I did so I did a eulogy a few years ago. I did a course, and it part of the course asks you to sit and do your eulogy. So, what would you want people to say at your desk? Yeah, so you have to write, you write. And as I'm writing my mission, you have to write your mission. So it's to find your mission, right? So you're writing my like and then her mission was to help women remember how to be a woman. So that day I really connected with the fact that actually my really my deepest mission is exactly related to what you said, is giving the right manual to women. Because there's such a big misunderstanding and confusion where in fact we hold so much power and all you have to do is believe it and taste it. Because once you taste it, yes, you no one can take that away from you.

SPEAKER_01 34:47

Yes. I think there's a we uh in this generation today, from what I when I notice, um, social media is a it can be great, but it also the pressures on young women um with uh artificial enhancements to keep up with this the other guys or girls, let's let's not um you know target women here because it's not all about women. It happens, I mean, men would have the same issue, but I feel with women, young women are quite um there's a lot of pressure, and then it becomes a very um competitive with the facade of how they look and trying to impress, to feel wanted and validated. And that I feel is is um is an issue, is an issue in this generation. And you know, um yeah, I think it's quite the girls, women and males, male and female are quite young uh having to go through these types of pressures. So I think the more positive impact we have and with the more education around um what we've experienced and yourself, and we get that out there, this can help. And I think they we have to get them really at a quite a young age.

SPEAKER_00 35:56

Yeah. And also what I think is very important, what we're doing, is showing them what's on the other side. Because sometimes people don't have a reason to change or to see a better option because that's all they have right now. They don't see further ahead. Because I remember a few years ago, I didn't even know I could have better or receive more or just be more confident or comfortable, just with simplicity. I didn't know I didn't know this, that this was possible. And so having someone, hearing someone, would have helped me just be like, oh okay, maybe I can have more.

SPEAKER_01 36:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 36:32

By not changing myself, but by just kind of refining what's inside.

SPEAKER_01 36:36

Yes. So for the viewers out there and the young women uh out there that are again probably feeling they want they don't know who they are, they or they think they know who they are, but they want to better themselves. What advice would you give those women, young women, women in general?

SPEAKER_00 36:58

The first I would tell them get to know yourself. Because once you know yourself, no one can tell you who to be. And once you know yourself, it's something that no one can take that away from you. And it's really an asset. We know we always talk about asset, you know, having a house, I need a car, I need a good job. But you need to have yourself, and you will never have anything better than you. Right now I can lose everything tomorrow. I can lose everything, and it happened to me where I lost everything. But because I have my mind, because I have I have the resilience that all these layers taught me, I feel invincible. And that no one can take that away from you. Because life will happen. Even with all the work in the world, with all the peace in the world, I'll get knocked down again. Or something will happen where I'll be like, shit, this is hard. Yeah, but I'm prepared. Yes, and so all you can do, prepare yourself. So when things get hard, you're ready. Yeah, but things will get good as well. That's right. And expect the good things and expect miracles. Yeah. Because we live in a world that is so logic, that is so structured, that is so masculine. Come back to the beauty of simplicity and miracles. Everything is energy, everything you believe can happen will happen. Everything that you desire can actually happen and faster than you think. But all you have to start to do is believe it and bring more magic into your life, which starts with beliefs. Yeah. I completely, completely agree.

SPEAKER_01 38:29

You know, there's sometimes, you know, this probably happened to you, and as I mean, as I get a bit older and wiser, mature, um, I notice it's I guess it's become quite strong for me. I can think of something just in my mind, and I never even say it. And within days, the person turns up like very detailed as to what I was thinking, um, or the experience that I was thinking that I would love to feel. Or again, it it's something that you're you're working on, your inner mind is working on, and obviously I want it, and I'm I want it so bad. It's it's it's in my mind, and I'm thinking about it, and it it starts to I'm starting to I draw it in. Yes. And I think, oh my gosh, I just thought of that yesterday. But this is freaks me out a bit. Sometimes I'm like, this is like really detailed. It's yeah, but it's but it's powerful. And I I didn't really understand the power of the mind. Even when I was um in my marriage, you know, previous marriage, I used to, I was in a in a place where I wasn't happy. Um, and I'm not blaming absolutely no one here. I just this is me just talking about how I felt. And um in those moments, I couldn't, I couldn't see there was obviously a lot of baggage from my childhood that I was carrying, and I couldn't feel so there's a lot of things I saw quite negatively and I wasn't thinking positively about, or I was just getting upset about things that I probably shouldn't have. And my previous partner did would always say, you know, it's the power of the mind, and address, address things and say, like, you know, think of it this way, or in a positive light. So I did learn a lot from him as well. So I think he had quite a big impact for me as a bit, like I'd say a bit of a mentor at the time, but I was a bit, I wasn't ready to receive. I wasn't ready to receive because I wasn't, it wasn't the right, it wasn't right for me in the circumstance that we were in. It didn't work because I was so badly hurt. So um, yeah, I think you've got to be at the right time. Yeah. But as I mature, um, as I mature, I see things a lot differently. And then the power of the mind is extremely powerful.

SPEAKER_00 40:32

And also why it's so powerful, it's because you're working on yourself. So what happens when you work on yourself, you clear your channel, you clear, you clear your vessel, so you create more space and you raise your vibration higher. When your vibration is high and you clear on what you want and you you know you can have it, instant manifestation. I I find this happening in my life as well. It's manifestation. It is. And the thing is, why why I have more ease where I'm now, I know that it's because of the work. Because it create it clears because the thing is, when you have a lot of trauma or you have a lot of things that happen to you and you have a lot of unprocessed anger or you're hurt and you've never felt that hurt, that grief, it keeps you stuck in a very dense, energetic frequency. You're very dense. And a lot of people, and Albert Einstein, say that everything is energy, everything is frequency, and frequency is nothing else than the emotional state that you're in. And so if you live in a state of gratitude or in a state of oh, I feel so at peace, and you think about I would love to receive a bunch of flour by this person with this letter saying that I'm creating incredible. Guess what happens? It happens, it does, it does. Like I have I okay, this is a tips for everyone that's listening. Sometimes. Sometimes. I have in my notes what's called a miracle journal. Every single day I reflect on what miracle happened today. And I kid you not, it keeps getting more wild. Why? Because I take notes, I'm expecting them. Because I take notes, I have to reflect on them and I remind myself how magical life is, and then it keeps me attuned to the miracle frequency. So I'm constantly waiting for miracles to happen to me. You are clearly a miracle. I was like, I'm ready for podcasts within an hour, three people on my Instagram podcast, podcast, podcast. I was like, Okay, cool, cool, cool. And I was looking for someone.

SPEAKER_01 42:18

I was like, I would love to have like someone else. I'm looking for a new person, you know? Right. So you do male, like to do male, female, male, female, and you popped up. So it was great. And I was like, oh, I loved your energy. I like your energy. I loved the energy and I heard it. And I was actually on a road trip when you had messaged, and I was, you know, on this crazy road trip. It's great. Um, I was stepping out of my comfort zone and doing something that I've never done before through a person who I met um unexpectedly, who I I guess has taken you on this journey as well, another new journey, another chapter of my life. And I stepped outside of my comfort zone and I was in, I think it might have been the third week of this road trip in a camper van and um from Cairns to Brisbane in a camper van and we survived. Wow. It was great. Um, but yeah, I was thinking, oh, we did a podcast sorting out and we need another person. And I was thinking, oh, wonder who's gonna be next. And I was walking along and I checked my IG and I was like, ah, got a message here. I think it was I'd been there for a while, I was like, I've got to get back to this lady, and then I opened it up and I was like listening. I was like, oh, she's got a good energy. Nice. Yeah, and I was like, because I obviously when you're on, I was trying to enjoy the moment, but yeah, it it worked out really well in the end. Law of attraction. Law of attraction manifestation. Right.

SPEAKER_00 43:29

It's yeah, and it's it's just reality. It's just been hiding.

SPEAKER_01 43:34

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:35

A lot of knowledge.

SPEAKER_01 43:36

All right, now for the fun question, the fun question, all the seriousness stuff aside. And um, so so if you could be any movie character or cartoon character, uh, who would you be? I saw this question.

SPEAKER_00 43:51

You can think about it. And I have so if I could be any cartoon, I'd be The Little Mermaid. Nice. Because Growing up, I was obsessed with mermaid. Obsessed. I've always and I'm still obsessed with water. So when I'm in the water, I feel like a mermaid.

SPEAKER_02 44:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:07

And I believe in mermaid. Don't ask me why. I do believe in it.

SPEAKER_02 44:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:11

And every time I watch the mermaid, it just it just feels it just feels really familiar.

SPEAKER_01 44:20

Yeah. It connects with you in your soul. Yeah. They s mermaids flow beautifully, their body movement, and they feel free and at peace. I mean, that's what I see when I see a mermaid. Oh. The flow the flow, that movement. I see movement and happiness and freedom and water so cleansing. The ocean. Yeah. Well, that was there.

SPEAKER_02 44:42

Good thing that's a wrap.

SPEAKER_01 44:44

That's a wrap. It's great. We nailed it. I think that's it, yeah. That's it. Well, thank you for being here today. Amazing. It was an absolutely fantastic moment and lovely to meet you. And I'm sure we'll definitely be in touch again. And yeah, thank you so much for being on Beyond the Title. Thank you so much. It was amazing. Thank you.