Beauty & The Bible

Discussing all things beauty - what is "beauty" for the feminine and what is God's standard of it. A few points discussed:

• how to feel and become beautiful + Biblical beauty
• loving beauty versus idolizing beauty/vanity
• releasing the fear of aging
• changing our appearance through plastic surgery, botox, filler, ozempic, and more + how to navigate this world

+ Here is the TikTok I mentioned (on the topic of inflammation blocking our brain/beauty)

Have a beautiful and blessed week! 

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, hello, my beautiful ladies. Welcome, welcome. I'm so happy to have you. If this is your first episode, my name is Alexis. I am a feminine energy coach. I love Jesus. And so this podcast, we combine the two, and today's topic is so on feminine energy. We are talking about beauty and the Bible. I have been wanting to make this episode since we first launched this podcast together six months ago, which I still cannot believe it's been six months. And here we are. So we're gonna talk all things beauty. What does God's word say about beauty? We're gonna talk about aging, we're gonna talk about plastic surgery, the world of filler, the world of Ozempic, how to feel and become beautiful, and also idolatry and vanity. And how can we still love beauty? Like, don't get me wrong, I'm not going to come here and say, don't be beautiful, don't focus on beauty, don't do self-care. No, no, no. That's not gonna be the message. I love beauty. I think it's so powerful, it's so feminine, it's so, even as I'm thinking about it, I just it feels so so good to invest in beauty and to play with it. There is a fine line where it can go into vanity and idolatry. So we're just gonna talk about how to keep that boundary but still enjoy beauty. And also, it is a very rare day in Dubai. It is raining outside. So my door, all of the windows in my home, they are open. There may be more background noise than normal. So if you hear kids screaming, please just work with me. I have to keep the windows open. It's like two times a year that it rains here, and I'm just soaking up every second of it. Alright, and also just wanted to throw this out there that yes, I am still safe. Thank you always for checking. I know so much has been going on here in the Middle East, and God is good. I'm so, so thankful for the peace this past, these past few days that has come over Dubai. It is calming down a little bit, and I'm just thankful for your prayers, of course. So thank you so much. And my girls out there who are in the Middle East, who are in other places where it's way worse, and you are going through a real survival mode, just know that I'm also praying for you. You are not alone, you have this community, and I I just feel for you. So thank you for just checking that I'm safe. Okay, let's get into this episode. So, beauty. You know how there's a difference when a man calls you cute versus hot versus beautiful. You know that there's a difference with each of those three, right? Well, when it comes to the way that God sees us and the way that the world sees us, even your dream partner, maybe you're already married to this man, when he calls you beautiful, there is even a difference in him calling you beautiful versus God calling you beautiful, your father. And so I really want this episode to remind you that your father, who is the king of kings, the most royal in this world, has called you beautiful. And this episode is going to help you remind him that, help you to walk in that, and just to really drill into your mind that you never need to chase being desired or feel that you are not beautiful because your father already told you that you are, and we're gonna talk about what he says exactly. Is it okay to desire beauty? The answer is yes. There is a difference in the beauty of what God says is beautiful versus the beauty of the world. This is what the world says is beautiful. The world says that it is the external, it's the outward appearance, it's very outward focused. It is very trendy. So the world's way of seeing beauty, it's very on trend. The world's way of beauty usually appeals to the male gaze. Majority of the time it appeals to the males' gaze, or male gaze, that is because of marketing, that is a whole other story. However, I will say that it also appeals to the female gaze. There is a trend that I see on TikTok a lot: dressing for the male gaze versus the female gaze. Both are dressing for the world, both are trying to be desired by the world. So, although I am biased, I do think that appealing to the female gaze is more powerful than the male gaze. Still, if you are trying to appeal to women, that is trying to be picked and trying to be chosen by someone who will never fully choose you because they are not God. Think about even those relationships that you think, oh, they will never get divorced. And then all of a sudden these couples are divorced, and you think, How did this happen? They were so strong. You cannot rely on people 100%, even your dream partner, even your family. You cannot rely on them 100%. God is the only one that you can rely on, which means his perception of beauty, his definition of beauty is the only one that you should be seeking. Otherwise, you will never feel beautiful enough. There will always be some part missing, some part that you need to change. So another quality of the world's perception of beauty is that it's fleeting, meaning that it's always leaving. Think about if you uh if you are a part of the BBL trend, well, the BBL trend is already fleeting. I feel like it just came, even though it started maybe six or seven years ago. But now the trend is being super stick thin. And so trends and the world's way of seeing beauty, it's always fleeting. Meaning that if you are trying to be beautiful in the world's eyes, you will always be running. And if you're always running, that's not very feminine energy of us. Where's the rest? Where's the slowing down? Where's the enjoyment and just soaking into your body, soaking into how you feel? That's where your beauty starts to come from, as we're going to talk about the inner focus. And if you're always chasing something, if you're in chase mode, well, now you've switched to the masculine energy, which, as a woman, God has given us such a beautiful gift, such a beautiful feminine essence, that when we unplug from it, we unplug from Him and we plug into the world's ways, we start chasing and acting out of our natural essence. You at your natural core, at your natural essence, will always be the most beautiful because it is God's blueprint showing up. When you start to mess with God's blueprint and tweak things here and there, I think of it as I made this mistake of ordering this uh chair for my home. And it was a chair. This is so ironic. It's a chair to actually sit at my vanity, which is just a giant mirror with uh my makeup and everything in it in my bedroom. I made this mistake of thinking, yeah, I'll order this chair and I'll put it together myself. Big mistake. God did not design me to be an engineer or an architect. I tried to put the chair together. To this day, it is still wobbly because I did not do it correctly. This is what happens when we start to tweak our appearance, as we're gonna get into tweak our beauty. Um, think that, oh, let's just build it ourselves. Let's get our own map. Let me go to TikTok and see what's beautiful. Let me go to ChatGPT and say what's beautiful. There is this trend right now called looks maxing. I'm not sure if I'm getting this 100% correct, but what I think it is is trying to make your looks the absolute best that it can be. Which I I understand we're gonna get there when we talk about self-care. But if you are trying to make your jaw as sharp as it can be, but God did not design you to have a sharp jaw, it is not going to be your most beautiful period. Just like my chair. There's something off about it because I I didn't follow the blueprint correctly. So following the world's perception and way of beauty, that's going to give you a wobbly chair. But how that shows up in your appearance and in your beauty is that it throws off your harmony. And I've talked about this on YouTube a little bit, how the way that God has naturally designed you, the thickness of your skin, the arch of your eyebrows, the shape of your lips, everything He has designed is in perfect harmony. Everything that God creates is perfect. When we start to, and this is a result of sin and suffering entering the world, now our DNA gets thrown off. Now we have uh we have more parts of ourselves that are not perfect because sin has entered the world, um, sickness has entered the world as a result, and so it's thrown off our DNA, it's caused a lot of deformity, it's caused our body to be not as healthy and strong as it should be. And when we start to make tweaks, I'm just gonna give a simple example: lip filler. I am not against plastic surgery, filler, and Botox. We're gonna talk about that more in a bit. But when we start to get things like lip filler, what we are doing is we are tweaking the natural, perfect harmony that God has already created in us when he designed us in the womb. The Bible says God knew us while we were before, not even during, God knew us before we were in our mother's womb. He shaped us in our mother's womb. And so when we start reshaping our lips, when we start reshaping um our body parts with BBL surgeries and all of this, it's throwing off the perfect harmony that God has already made. And I believe that there is a spiritual sense that we cannot see, but we can feel when something is in harmony versus when it isn't. It's almost like, you know, when you meet someone and something just doesn't feel right about them, maybe your intuition is saying, ah, I don't know, my I don't feel safe with this person. It's similar with your harmony. Like when someone looks at you and they see just you naturally as God made you, there is something that we cannot see with our natural eye, but our spirit can feel it's beautiful. That's also why I think the modeling industry, something that they got right, is treasuring unique faces because it's so valuable to brands to have this unique face that no one has ever seen before. It captures our attention because it's beautiful. And so I'm kind of going off on a tangent here, but again, we're gonna talk about plastic surgery and everything because I don't want you to think, Alexis, I've had plastic surgery or filler, what do I do? It is not wrong. That is a 100% your decision, and I do understand it, especially with the pressures of this world, but also there is you'll know if it is right for you. We'll talk about it, I promise. Um, but back on this topic of world's beauty versus God's, one more quality of the world's beauty. So we just talked about how the world's beauty is fleeting. The world's beauty is also determined by your environment. An example of this. I had a client, this is when I first first started coaching. So maybe about three and a half years ago now. I was working with a woman who lived in New York, this beautiful Hispanic woman. Oh my gosh, she was just gorgeous. And something that her and I were working on is her confidence in her beauty. She just kept telling me, Alexis, I don't feel beautiful. Like the standard of beauty is blonde hair, it's being super tall, super thin. She's living in New York City, so that was the standard of the modeling industry. And she goes, I just like I don't have blue eyes, I I don't feel like I will ever be beautiful here. And I remember telling her, if I took you and we went on my we went on a trip to Miami, you would have a completely different perception of your beauty. Your environment will make you feel so beautiful in one place and so not beautiful in another place. That is the world's way with beauty. Fleeting, changing, never enough, never consistent. What I wish I would have added on, which I don't remember if I told her this, is that the ultimate environment, it's not Miami. You're gonna feel great in Miami and very confident because I think the beauty of Hispanic women is really, really appreciated there. But the ultimate environment is God's kingdom, and when you can focus on that environment, tell it-I'm so sorry, guys, about the background noise. There's a plane going off nearby. When you can focus on the heavenly kingdom being the environment that you go to and show up and say, Um, am I beautiful here? The answer will always be yes. So, not that you need to move cities, you need to move your whole spiritual realm to the heavenly realm. And that is something that you can do now. And it's by understanding what God says is beautiful, understanding how to grow the fruits of the spirit in your spirit. And that's what we're gonna talk about today. Qualities of what God says is beautiful. So we just covered the world. Well, when it comes to beauty in what God says, it's inward focused, it's the fruits of the spirit, it's our soul, it's our heart. That's why God says protect and guard your heart like nothing else, because the course of your life depends on it. And by the course of your life, it also includes how you walk, how you carry yourself, the partners that you pick. How you feel other people see you is also determined by how you carry yourself because of who you belong to. When you know that you are the daughter of the highest king, you carry yourself like royalty, you carry yourself like a queen. And so it's this inward focus that God's definition of beauty comes from. Also, with God's beauty, it is consistent across time and it is consistent across age, it is consistent across cultures. All of those change in the world's eyes, even with age. What the world will say is you are most beautiful at a certain age. Well, that's very limited, is it not? All these limitations come from humans. That means that it's never going to be the best, right? And so God doesn't put these limitations on us. He never says you're most beautiful at this age. In fact, I think God sees us the most beautiful the closest we are to him. And that's usually as you get older. And so, same with cultures. Does not matter your culture, your ethnicity, it does not matter your time, your the time period that you're in. I think um beauty in the 1600s looks very different than beauty now, right? None of that matters to God. And also, beauty increases in God's eyes as the fruit of our spirit increases, the fruit of his spirit in us increases. Sometimes when I pray, I will have times where I just ask God, can you speak to me? And this is something that I'm trying to do more and more, is just listen 50% and then speak 50 50% of the time when I pray. And there was a moment that I had with God that just made me so emotional. And it was after I did a day of uh fasting and praying. And I'm just laying in my bed and I'm praying, and I say, God, can you just speak to me? Like, can you tell me something? I just want to feel you. And he says something to me, and he he always says, I love you. Whenever I ask God, can you speak to me? He always says, I love you. Well, after that, he goes, You are so beautiful to me, Alexis. And I was just thinking, okay, this is so nice. I have never heard God specifically say, You are so beautiful to me. Then he goes on to tell me, your faith in your obedience, so beautiful to me. This was recently, like the last two months. And when I say I can feel God say to me, people always ask, How do you hear God? I'll answer that in two ways. Number one, I've had to quiet the noise of the world, like the the way that I have reduced how many podcasts I listen to, how often I have music on, how often I'm on my phone, that has all reduced. And as background worldly noise has reduced, God's voice has increased. Second, is when I am quiet with my thoughts and I'm not swimming in my mind, I drop into the state where I'm completely relaxed. I'm not thinking or judging my thoughts, and that is when I feel God speak to me. I feel his words in my body. It's not that I hear like a man's voice out loud, you are so beautiful. That'll be nice, but in another context, right? It's I actually just feel the words in my body, like I feel them flash across my mind, if that makes sense. Uh what else did I want to say? Yes, so with God's God's perception of beauty versus the worlds, as I mentioned earlier, even with the male and the female gaze, it will never be enough. If you are thinking, let me just appeal to the female gaze, let me just dress really cool and trendy. I have an episode that I made a while ago called Stop Chasing, You're Already Chosen. If you have not watched this episode, it is a must after you listen to this one. Because I talk about the story of Jesus meeting the woman at the well and saying, if you continue to drink this water from the well, you will be thirsty for life. But you know, in that episode, he was not talking about the well. He was talking about this woman trying to be chosen by these men and trying to feel validated. And Jesus says, I have water that when you drink it, you will never be thirsty again. And what he was referencing was seeking him. It's a relationship with him. When you drink that water and you let Jesus speak to you and hold you and see you, you will never chase the beauty from the world the way that you used to, because you feel so validated and you feel all of this from the world is just meaningless. The closer I've gotten to Jesus these last two years, everything that I wanted, like even my my relationship with materialism has changed so much. Like the desire has just been killed. And I still I love shopping, I love fashion. It's changed from wanting to shop to fill voids, wanting to have uh certain luxury or certain brands to look and appear a certain way. It switched from that to more fashion and art. And that relationship, it's just changed completely. What I think is beautiful now in terms of fashion is so different than it used to. I used to never be someone who would go thrifting. I always thought, no, I like buying my clothes new. Now I love thrifting. And a question that I get on YouTube a lot is how come you will buy used clothes if you have a successful business? It's not a successful business that determines what I see as beautiful. Just because you have a successful business or a great job or you feel financially stable, do not let the world tell you that you need to see certain things as beautiful. Even whenever I travel, I always get questioned: how come you don't stay at this five-star resort? There are certain spots, there are certain boutique hotels, certain experiences that are so beautiful to me now that I couldn't see before. Because my relationship with Jesus has grown so much that my tastes and my appetite, it has also changed. You will change. What you think is beautiful will change as your relationship with Jesus changes. Beauty, it is in the eye of the beholder. Until you are no longer beheld to the world, your value, it will never be enough. You will always have to look beautiful to the world. You will always have to explain yourself why. It's because the world is thirsty. The world is looking at you and saying, not enough. You might be enough for a little bit, but then the world is not satisfied again. And it will say, I need more. And you'll constantly be in this chasing energy. So please watch the episode Stop Chasing. You're already chosen if you haven't seen it yet. I think a great example of this is certain celebrities. Notice how the celebrities who have gotten lip fillers, BBLs, again, nothing against this. People who have gotten lip fillers and BBLs and are now getting it taken out. The moment I saw a certain uh member of the Kardashian family doing this, I thought, thank God that you spoke to me, Lord, and said, do not change your body, do not touch your face. Because there were moments when I so wanted to. And now all of these celebrities are getting their, they are getting these, um, I don't even know what you call it. When you have to remove the BBL. By the way, a BBL is one of the most dangerous surgeries that you can have when you put your life at risk for vanity or for your appearance. That is when it turns into vanity. Because you're actually prioritizing your own life, you're actually prioritizing the world's opinion of you over your soul, over the purpose that God has put you on this planet for. If you are willing to die just so that you can have a bigger butt, there's a misbalance of who has the most power in your heart. It's not God. And God makes it so clear in his word: I am a jealous God. He says it over and over again. He does not want anything to come above him or to have more of a priority in your life than him. And the trends of this world can make us prioritize other things over him. Okay. Um, kind of like this example too, the removing plastic surgery. This is the conversation of plastic surgery. Like I said, it's something that I'm not against. And why I say this is because I I want to be careful saying this, but I do think there is an aesthetic sense to some of the filler and botox in the world that can be more of an artistic viewpoint. So, for example, if let's just use dyeing your hair for an example. If you're dying your hair to play around with the color and um kind of as a form of artistic and creative expression, that to me is very fun. And that is total feminine energy, and that to me would be great. If you are dyeing your hair because you don't love your natural color or because you want to feel like enough to the world, that is when it's not so good. So, kind of with plastic surgery, this is where I stand here, filler, Botox included. The aesthetic, artistic sense, I do understand that. And I don't want anyone to feel like I should never get it, even though I really want it or I've had it and maybe I'm regretting it. You ask the Holy Spirit, that is 100% your personal decision. I don't believe in telling women how to look or what to do with their body. What I will say is ask God first, go to Him for direction. And if you are doing it for a reason that includes getting validation or feeling like enough, or because you haven't loved and accepted yourself naturally, that is not a reason to do it. I don't think I've shared this here on the podcast, but there was a time in my life when I really, really wanted to get a boob job. I think I was 17, 18. I was, should I say, gifted with eight cups, all being a teenager. And I remember just telling my mom, like, mom, I don't feel womanly. I really, as soon as I am 21 and as soon as I've saved up money, I'm gonna get a boob job. I would research it, I would look into it. I grew up in Las Vegas, and that whole environment is probably what made me want to do it in the first place. But I just remember thinking and talking with other women and asking about their experience. And it was always interesting to me because every woman that I asked who had one, she goes, I wouldn't do it again if I could go back. And that was the same answer that I was getting when I was trying to decide, am I going to save sex for marriage? I was so back and forth on it. Every single woman that I asked her opinion and her advice on said, if I could go back, I would have waited. And I just started to notice things. Like anytime I'm doing something against God's word or what God has created naturally, there's something in my spirit that knows that it's a no. And so I am so glad I did not get a boob job at 1920 when I really wanted to. Because actually, I realized as I got older, I went through a second puberty. My body changed so much, my curves changed so much, and I just needed to gain a little bit of weight, and then I had the exact size that I wanted. One of my subscribers, she goes, Alexis, this is so true because I always wanted to get a BBL, and I would pray to God about it and just ask, please, God, give me curves. And you know what God did? He sent me a husband that gave me the curves. This man gave me five kids. Alexis, after these five kids, I have the boobs, the butt, and the hip or the hips that I wanted. God is good. I didn't even need surgery, I just needed the right man. I was like, I love you. So God will answer your prayers in miraculous ways. And you know what? I think the I always think natural is best, right? Of course, you do what feels good for you. Um, ask the Holy Spirit first. That's what I'm gonna say about plastic surgery, filler, Botox, all of that. Uh, I think it's interesting too how on the topic of beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I love uh studying about art and history. And when learning about the Mona Lisa, did you know that Mona Lisa was seen as the most beautiful woman in the world? And uh Leonardo da Vinci, when he was painting her, he was absolutely obsessed with this woman. And I look at the painting and I think she's beautiful because she's a woman, of course. I don't know if I would agree with Leonardo da Vinci here, though. And what's funny is when we look at how other people see women, everyone has such a different idea and perception of beauty. That is also why you should never change yourself for a man, especially, because the man that God has designed for you won't recognize you if you have changed yourself, if you've messed with that harmony so much. And so you are made exactly for the man, for the friends, for uh whoever it is that is going to be in your life. You are the most beautiful to them. And when I look at European sculptures, I'm always just amazed. For the first time this summer, I went to Italy and it was just beautiful. Like, oh my gosh, seeing the sculptures of the women, how curvy their bodies are. I look at these sculptures and I think, these women, they're so womanly. Like, you don't really see this in the US. The standard is more of the model type body, which is also very beautiful, too. There is no ideal beauty standard outside of what God says. And the last part of this episode is gonna talk about what God says is beautiful, and so please don't ever feel like you have to be beheld to the world because the world go to another country and you will see a whole new beauty standard. Look at a painting by a man in love, and you will see a whole new beauty standard. It's always, always changing. Okay, so we talked about a little bit changing appearance, when to, when not to. So I just want to cover this again for a minute. When it's okay and good, in my opinion, to change your appearance. When it's to play, when it's to create, and when it's for fun. An example, dyeing your hair. Uh, another example, getting into the best shape of your life. If you are trying to get into shape by starving yourself, I love that quote that says, you cannot hate yourself thin. You cannot. If you're trying to change your body because you don't love it, your body is not gonna work with you and it's going to resist. It's going to be very difficult. The times that I have restricted my eating or pushed myself so extremely hard in the gym, my body is never as good as when I say, you know what, I'm just gonna intuitively eat, whatever feels good. I'll work out when my body says I'm just gonna be gentle, just honor what it tells me. It's like I always have the best body of my life when I'm not trying too hard with my workouts and when with my diet. And I think, isn't that so amazing? When we can just let go and we just have fun and we play and we just focus on health instead of being extreme and instead of trying to change, instead of out of hate. We are our most beautiful when we are just relaxed and healthy and enjoying life. The Bible does talk about how it is important to enjoy life. I think a lot of people come to Christianity and they're scared and they go, Ah, I don't know, I'm gonna have to suffer always. And I was actually having this conversation with a family member who is not a believer, and he was saying, I just don't understand Christianity. Why would people want to suffer? Like Christianity is all about suffering. And I said, Well, when you want to feel good with your health, and you set that early alarm, and you eat the vegetables and the whole grains, and you sweat and you move your body, that is a form of suffering to someone who does not enjoy taking care of their body. When God tells us and teaches us about suffering, it is always for a greater benefit, just like working out and eating healthy. Yeah, it's probably going to feel like suffering when you're 30 minutes onto the stairmaster, but the reward is so great. You're suffering now to feel great later. I think there is a misperception about Christianity and suffering. I think it's more delayed gratification than most people realize. And yeah, that comes with suffering. But if you want to enjoy life now and eat whatever you want and not move your body, there's gonna be a lot of suffering in the form of medical bills later on. So either way, we're going to have to suffer in life. I would rather suffer the way that God tells me so that I can have the most fruitful life, the most happy life. Okay, that was a little side note, but changing appearance, when to, when not to. So when it starts to become bad, is I love how the car horn went off right as I said bad. When it starts to be bad is when we are trying to build inner security from our appearance, or when we are trying to feel seen or get validation. Thank you, car, for validating this point. So trying to get validation and feel seen, build an inner security, like I was trying to do with the boob job, that's the thing. It's when I ask myself, why am I trying to do this? Why do I want to get a boob job? You know what came up for me? So that I can feel more desired. That is when it's just going to cripple your soul because it's not going to be enough. Just like with money, if you think I will be happy when I get this amount of money, you get the money, you're happy for a little bit, but then you're not full of joy forever, and you go, uh-oh, I got to the level that I wanted. It's still not enough. What's the point of life? That is why so many wealthy people that do not have Jesus in their life get depressed because they get what they want, it's still not enough, and life feels meaningless. You feel, well, what else can I do now? The happiness is already gone. It's fleeting. Anything that the world gives is always fleeting. So again, if it's not natural when it comes to changing your appearance, just ask the Holy Spirit. I think a big thing on trend right now, which if you're listening to this in 2028 or in the future, this is this probably doesn't apply to you because I know the trend has already changed. But a big trend right now is Ozempic. Everyone is trying to be super, super stick thin. And if this is your natural body type, wonderful. If you don't feel this is your natural body type and you're trying to take Ozempic to uh make this your body type, go to the Holy Spirit and ask first. Ask why am I trying to do this? And I think it's so interesting how the perfect harmony that God has created, even with our body shape, some people look better thinner, some people look better curvier, some people look better heavier. How God has made you naturally, like when I see celebrities that are Ano Zempic, I think is for some of them they looked so much better before. And of course, that's just my opinion still. And so you can change yourself as much as you want to try to get the world to like you, but God might be looking at you in heaven and going, My precious girl, you are already perfect. Let's just relax and enjoy life. Alright. Um, so if it's not natural, ask the Holy Spirit. Like I said, am I against filler plastic surgery Botox? No. Have I done any? No. Will I in the future? I don't know. Plastic surgery, uh, I don't know. Things like uh breast lift. I I work with a lot of moms through coaching who want to, they just want to get their natural boobs back to the height that they were before kids. Things like that, totally understand. That's why I was saying if it's for you, like if it's for playing and creating and just you want to do it from a place of that feminine feeling good, I totally understand that. But if let's just take an example of you don't feel that your husband desires you, and so you are trying to um get a boob lift after kids for him to desire you, that is not enough of a reason. That is not a good reason because there's a root issue that needs to be worked on first. That's why I say I don't know about the filler and everything in the future. Aging. Okay, let's talk about aging for a little bit because this always comes up. So the best thing that has helped me to overcome the fear of aging, because I it is definitely something that I've also had. Viewing aging as a privilege rather than a fear, that has changed my perception of it so, so much. I think the the more that I have realized every single day I wake up, it is a gift. I was not guaranteed to wake up even this morning. You are not guaranteed to wake up this morning. Do you know how many people did not wake up today that have just died in their sleep? When I see, when I look in the mirror and I I stop looking at parts of my face as, oh, this is the sign I'm getting older. When I look at my smile lines and say, I love that I have this memory imprinted in my face of how much joy I had, how much laughter I had with my friends, with my siblings. When I actively uh speak to my appearance in a positive light, that is how I have let go of the fear of aging. So that is a trick that you can use. Look in the mirror. Even things like I have stretch marks. I used to soak my body in bio oil, trying to get rid of my stretch marks on my butt and my hips. Now I'm like, you know what? I love this part of my body. These are my marks that I went from being a girl to a woman, and I love it. And trust me, men love it too. I think a big fear we have is this makes us flawed. Okay, do you know how many men actually love stretch marks? Because it symbolizes that your body has grown and shifted and your curves have changed. And for so many men, like that is so sexy to them. And here we are trying to change this because we think it's not. That's why you cannot base how you view yourself on someone else's desire. It's never going to be enough for you. So look in the mirror, speak to your body, speak to the wrinkles, the gray hairs, the stretch marks, the any part of your body that you don't love. You have the ability to change how you see it. It starts with how you speak to it, it starts with the thoughts in your mind. And also viewing aging as a privilege, something else is realizing that there's a freedom in letting go of fitting in with the world. I look at these older women who are just so free. They're not trying to be liked, they're not trying to be stopped on the street, they're just free. Like being free from the pressure of being young, beautiful, whatever the world says. Can you imagine what you get to spend your time doing? Can you imagine the freedom that you have just moving through the world without having to be liked? And something else to end this point here. Ask why do I fear aging? Ask your body right now if this is a fear. Why do I fear aging? If the reason is I will be less desirable as I age, if that is your fear, this next part is going to be for you. We're gonna talk about changing your narrative of beauty. And one quick note here is with fears, look back to all of the fears that you used to have. Look back to all of the beliefs that you used to have and notice how many of those changed. I wonder if, for most of us that fear aging, if we are going to age and be older, forget that we even had that fear, think back to this version of ourselves and say, oh yeah, I remember thinking that. A small example that I thought of here is I remember when I was a kid, my family we ate a lot of fast food. Okay, that's why I'm very passionate about gut health now. I'm still reversing the damage. Um, but my family, we ate a lot of fast food and like Taco Bell, Pizza Huts, Little Caesars, Chick-fil-A, Burger King. Oh my gosh, I'm just thinking of a conversation with my brother. I was FaceTiming him the other day and he goes, Do you remember when we used to drive to Utah to go to Chick-fil-A? I was like, what a fun childhood we had. So, like I said, we grew up in Las Vegas and Chick-fil-A, if you don't know what Chick-fil-A is, it's a it's a Christian-owned restaurant, fast food chain. They have the best waffle fries in the world. I'll just say this. There is a lot of controversy about Chick-fil-A, that's a whole other story. But they would always say, Um, I'm never, we're never bringing our business to Sin City, to Las Vegas. And so my family, we had to drive to Utah like two hours away just when we craved Chick-fil-A. It was a fun road trip for my mom and siblings and I. Uh, but, anyways, I remember thinking as a kid, I cannot wait till I'm an adult because every day I'm going to get French fries from McDonald's. I love French fries, like that is one of my favorite foods in the whole world. And I remember as a kid thinking, like, why don't adults go to McDonald's and get fries every day? Like, what are they doing with their time and with their adult money? They're not very smart. Well, fast forward to now, I remember thinking, like, oh yeah, this is something. That I used to think as a little kid, but just completely vanished as I got older because my values changed. Who I who I am as a woman changed. What I crave has changed. And so, do you not think that some of the fears and some of the beliefs that you have now will also vanish and change as you gain wisdom and you gain experience? As I started getting passionate about feeling good in my body, feminine energy, inner work, French fries from McDonald's didn't really fit into that. And naturally I thought, you know what? I love making my own food. I love the activity of cooking and slowing down and making fries from just potato, sea salt, and olive oil. And now, not once do I have that same belief of as an adult, I'm just gonna go get French fries every day. It changed because I changed. And so you might be feeling I'm never going to get over this fear of aging. Well, the more wisdom you gain, the less that fear is going to own you because you're going to realize that it's a very silly fear, one that the world has put in you, which means that it can be unlearned and means that it's probably not the best if it's coming from the world. That earlier point that I said, when you ask, why do I fear aging or why do I why do I want to get this change to my body? If the answer is I will be more or less desirable, this next part is entirely for you. This is actually my favorite part of this whole episode that we're gonna talk about. So, this next section, changing your narrative of beauty. There will come a day when you meet someone who sees you as God sees you, and it will break your beliefs. It will break them in half, it will cause a ripple effect to your nervous system and to your subconscious. I remember I was having a conversation with my sister, and I was telling her about this specific man, and I told her, Olivia, I have never felt like this in my life. So something that I used to struggle with all the time is acne. My skin would just always break out. I went on Accutane a few years ago, changed my skin completely, but I still do get breakouts here and there. And a problem area for me is my lips. Whenever I wear a lot of lip liner or if I kiss and there's facial hair, I get breakouts on my lips. And so I remember I had this pimple on my lip, and there is this uh guy that I was spending time with and talking to when I had this pimple come up. And I remember it came up and I thought, oh, but I really want to see him later today, and I don't want to cancel on him. Canceling plans because of my skin being inflamed is something that I always used to do, and I said, I'm not doing this anymore because I'm not letting my skin define my confidence for that day. And so, anyways, I just decided, you know what? I am no longer available to let my appearance guide my feelings, and I still went out with him and spent that day with him. Not once did I remember that I even had this pimple on my lip. And I remember I got home later, and for the first time I thought, this is the first man where I was not at all, not at all conscious of my appearance with him. I was just so free when there was something that was honestly still an insecurity. And I told my sister, I was like, Olivia, I feel so safe with him. And I just told her about the whole experience. And she goes, she's just smiling. She's like, Yeah, Alexis, you think that these are the end of the world, but no one cares or sees. And, anyways, with this uh guy that I'm talking about, how did I know that he wasn't staring at this pimple or thinking less of me or thinking that I was less desirable? I felt his spirit, and I I don't have any other words for it other than that. I just I knew that my spirit felt safe with his spirit because the best version of me comes alive when I am talking with him. And the topics that we discuss, um, how I carry myself, like how brought to life I feel with him, it's my spirit just feels alive. Like exactly how I feel making this podcast is how I am describing this feeling with this man. And it's just amazing because you know when your flesh comes alive with someone, as creepy as that sounds, it almost feels like lust. Like you want to look the best, you feel sexy, like you feel that you feel that butterfly or excitement in your stomach. It's so different when your soul and your spirit feel excited with someone, feels safe, feels seen with someone. And with this man, he did that. One very specific quality about this man, he loves Jesus. He is so passionate about the Lord, about sharing the Lord with others. And when I when we first met, I remember just looking at his eyes, and I thought, he has the kindest eyes I have ever seen in my life. Before he even told me he was Christian, I already knew it. I knew that he loved Jesus. There will come a day when you meet someone like this, maybe you've already met them, who sees you the way that God sees you. Because they see the world the way God sees the world, which means what they think is beautiful is what God thinks is beautiful. I've talked about this a little bit before, how one time I was doing a fast, a day of fasting and prayer. Anytime I fast and pray, I see things so clear. Anytime I need direction or I have a question in my life, or I'm confused about where to go, or I'm just feeling stagnant, like I need, I need a rejuvenation. I will fast and pray. And I remember because I don't use any social media, I don't even read my fantasy books, no TV. I spend a lot of time outside in nature, just walking gusts, hanging out with God. And we're sitting by the water in my neighborhood, and I'm just looking at the trees, I'm looking at the birds, and I remember thinking, God, you're such a beautiful artist. Like these birds are so beautiful. The water, these trees, the sunset. And I remember thinking, oh my gosh, if my teenage self could see me, she would be like, Who is this? Because growing up, and I always told my mom, I am not a nature person, I am never going to be a crunchy granola type of girl. I like glam, I like luxury, I like modern spaces, I don't like camping, I don't like nature. I was just not a nature girl. Like one time in high school, I went to sea camp in California, and I just remember thinking, I do not like having my bare feet on the ground. I don't like showering outside. I was just so um, like so OCD about all of that. I just didn't see the beauty in nature because my spirit was not fully tuned in to God's spirit. Like I wasn't led by the Holy Spirit when I was a teenager. Um, so, anyways, I it's like my eyes were opened the closer I've gotten to the Holy Spirit, where I look at nature and I think, how beautiful is this? Like now I am obsessed with grounding, I'm obsessed with walking bare feet on the soil. I think it's so great for our health, for inflammation, for our mental health. I never would have been like this before, where I look at a tree, I look at flowers and think, you are so beautiful. I could not see it because I was not looking at the world the way that God was. The moment I got closer to God and started giving my life more and more to Jesus, the clearer my eyes opened. Remember this family member that I was talking about earlier that I said is not a believer. We always debate about Christianity. It's a very healthy debate. And he is more spiritual. And so I'm telling I told him something a while ago. I was just, you know how obsessed I am with avocados and carrots, and just how food that is grown by God looks like the shape of our body that it's good for, like avocados, looking like a woman's uterus, even down to the seed inside. And how good the omega-3s and fat is in an avocado for our uterus, how good carrots are for our eyeballs, and how when you slice a carrot, it looks like an eyeball. Walnuts, it even has the left and the right hemisphere of the brain, like it has that shape of a walnut, and how scientists have found walnuts are so good for our brain. This kind of science blows my mind, which is why I'm obsessed with science. And this person that I'm talking about is also very obsessed with science, and so I'm just telling them, I'm like, it isn't it proof that there is a creator that the Big Bang Theory could not be reason for this world's explanation. There is a thoughtful, intentional, brilliant creator who has specifically designed food to be good for these parts of our bodies. How could a rock exploding cause avocados to be created and just happen to be shaped like a woman's uterus? Do you think that there could be a creator that is pointing us to him, pointing us to the fact that he has specifically made the earth? The earth was not just formed out of nowhere. And this family member, they just say, Ah, I think you can kind of uh put anything and say, Oh, this fits with that. And I just say, Okay, because I of course I never want to argue or like shove my point down their throat. I just hold space and listen and ask questions. Well, yesterday I'm talking with this person and the conversation comes up again. They're like, You brought up that strange point about avocados and good for the woman's uh, I'm not gonna say the word he said, good for the woman's certain body part. I was like, actually, I said they are good for a woman's uterus. And what did I say was a connection between avocados and the uterus? And he goes, Um, it's an emotional connection, like women love both. And I said, That's not what I said, and then I explained it again. It he couldn't even remember what I had said because he did not care. He did not care because he did not find it fascinating the way that I find it mind-blowing. Also, a quick side note about dealing with difficult conversations with people who are not believers. Here is some advice. Number one, never try to force Jesus on them. That never would have worked for me before I was Christian, anyways. And second of all, create a space where curiosity is encouraged. So, this family member that I'm talking about, why they always feel safe to go into these debates about Christianity is because they know I'm not going to judge them. I'm not going to try to change their mind. I simply just share, ask questions about them. I'm always so curious and asked to hear their perspective. And it allows them to feel seen. And I saw this great quote on Pinterest, and it said, Your job is not to get people to be a believer. It's not to try to change their mind. Your job is to share the Holy Spirit or to share the news about Jesus and let the Holy Spirit work on them. You are not working on this alone. So the Holy Spirit is also working with you and stirring up their heart. Your job is to share. Share your testimony, share God has helped you, share what you know. Curiosity in people who are not believers is a golden key that Jesus is working on their heart. Remember a couple weeks ago, I think it was during one of the Q ⁇ As, it was talking about what to do about books, podcasts that we love but are not written or led by believers. And I said, in that case, there's still a lot of great information from leaders that I love that are not Christian. Doesn't mean that I'm not going to listen to them just because they're not Christian. If there's things that don't resonate, I just don't absorb that. And I was talking about how one of my favorite creators is Stephen Bartlett, host of the Diary of a CEO podcast. And I said in the episode a couple weeks ago, I have a feeling Steven is coming to Jesus soon. Yesterday, Steven posted an episode on the Diary of a CEO podcast talking about or having a guest who is talking about Christianity. I have not listened to the podcast just yet. I'm so excited to listen to it. Steven is curious. I have seen this in him for the past year, and it's given me this feeling that oh my gosh, he might give his life to Jesus very soon. And of course, I don't know for sure. It was just a feeling that I had. Never in the world did I think Steven would be having a whole two-hour episode just on Jesus in Christianity. And here we go. So never stop sharing your faith with others. Just remember you don't have to force it on them. That's not really going to work. And when people are curious, that is a great sign. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And people who cannot see God, actually who will not see God, who willingly turn away, cannot see the beauty in what God has made. They cannot see the beauty in those following God. To them, honoring your body, saving your body for marriage, looks like a prude. Looks like uh that's someone who's stuck up, who's just super, super pure. Taking the time to um Sabbath on the weekend to set aside one rest day to do things like fast and pray, uh, to build meaningful friendships, to honor your father and mother, even if they didn't honor you, that does not look beautiful to the world. Because they cannot see through God's lens, because God is not in their eyes or their mind or their heart. You do not take it to heart when someone that does not love God does not see your beauty or does not love you. You're looking for beauty in the wrong eyes if your beauty is coming from someone else who does not love God. The more someone loves Jesus, the more they will see that you are beautiful. And another point here is that this goes for friendships too. My friends, how I immediately knew that these women in Dubai that are my best friends here, and I also have best friends in Las Vegas. These women, how did I know that I would have deep friendships with them? I saw, I I didn't see, I felt their heart. I could see that they loved Jesus the moment I met them. I felt their kindness, I felt their compassion, I felt their love, I could feel their spirit. My spirit matched their spirit because the Holy Spirit in me recognized the Holy Spirit in them. If you remember from our Christmas episode when I was reading about the birth of Jesus, well, when Mary becomes, or no, when Mary receives a message from the angel saying, You are going to carry the Messiah. Mary's excited, she runs and she goes to her cousin, Elizabeth. Elizabeth is also pregnant but hasn't told anyone yet. She is pregnant with John, who later becomes John the Baptist. So John the Baptist and Jesus are cousins. Well, when Mary is running to Elizabeth, she's so excited. As soon as Mary enters the room where Elizabeth is, it says in the Bible, I believe this is in Luke, Elizabeth's womb leaps for joy. The baby in her womb jumps at the sound of Mary's voice. Because John, inside of her belly, knows this is the woman who is going to carry the Messiah. The baby recognizes Mary. The Holy Spirit in you recognizes the Holy Spirit in others, and vice versa. And there is a soul-level connection. There is a beauty that you see in them, and you cannot get this from the world. And the stronger you grow in your relationship with Jesus, the stronger your holy the Holy Spirit inside of you grows. I'm gonna, this is kind of a side note. We're gonna go um into biblical beauty, and I'm gonna share four points about what makes us what makes us more beautiful. But first, I'm gonna share a question. Hopefully I can still do this and record the voice memo or the I record this on my phone as a voice memo because I don't have a podcast mic. I got a question from a subscriber and she said, I don't know how to clearly phrase this, but after my glow up, I have no idea how to deal with all the different kinds of treatments, both good and bad, and the idle idolization. It feels like no one sees me for me, only my human shell. I actually get this question a lot of how do I deal with the insecurity that comes from my glow-up? Because a lot of women, they will lose weight or they will change their appearance, like change it for the best. They'll have a glow-up. And suddenly men start noticing them. Women start treating them kinder, and it causes an insecurity because then they go, Wait a second, you're treating me this way because of how I look, not because of who I am. And so it causes this cognitive dissonance that feels like insecurity. And so she goes, it's totally opposite from the past where people are more focused on my intelligence, but that alone, without the beauty part, doesn't feel good either. Which, girl, totally get you, right? The world says focus on books, stay book smart. But let's be honest, let's be honest here as we always are. We still love the beauty part, right? God has given us a desire for physical beauty too, which we're gonna talk about in the next four points. But she goes, I want to find a good balance of how people view me. Like they can admire my looks, but still look into my mind after. And this can be expanded into more areas later on, with wealth, money, fame, etc. I know I can't fully control how people view me, but I but it's exhausting to keep keep up if they only have one singular image of me. So I responded back to her in a comment actually, and I had said something along the lines of this is such a great question. And what I've realized is that the best thing to do is focus on nurturing relationships with people who love the Lord. Because friends, partners, colleagues, etc., when they are led by God, they see the beauty the way He sees beauty. Their eyes look at things like the sunset, they see a beautiful picture painted by the loving Father, they look at a person and they see a heart that is kind and compassionate and humble. That's what they evaluate as someone's beauty. Being led by the world without God results in looking at beauty as the world does, superficial, constantly changing, and limited. And I told her, I hope this helps. The more people in my life who admire, admire my heart, the less I notice those solely admiring physical beauty. It was very difficult growing up with a dream to be in the modeling industry, getting in that industry and then leaving. Because I realized I am valuable in the modeling industry when my appearance is what the producer wants. But that constantly changed as my client for modeling changed. Anytime you're booked by a new person, they have a specific look in mind. And it's very difficult in that industry because you go to castings and you are told yes or no without opening your mouth. And so I had to do so much inner work out of that to say my value does not come from looks. And what I had included in the last part of this comment to this woman was the more people I have in my life who they love me because of my heart, the less people I have who admire me for my looks. And now I barely even see those people. Compliments on my looks don't matter as much because that's not where value comes from. When someone compliments my heart, or when my friends tell me something like, Alexis, you are so faithful. Doing this podcast every week. Those compliments light me up. And my friends, they pour into me so much, speaking to my heart, being beautiful. Those are the people that you must surround yourself with. Because that is also going to reinforce the standard of beauty into you. So the last part here, biblical beauty, there's gonna be four aspects that God talks about in the Bible. Make a woman beautiful. Not just a woman, but a man too. There's so many things, but I've just chosen four. Number one, these are not in order, by the way, health. And so in Leviticus, I'm reading the Old Testament right now. In Leviticus, in the community of Israel, something very interesting I noticed. When people have skin diseases or they're sick, God says, remove them from the community. They cannot be near my tabernacle, they cannot be near my presence. And I'm thinking, isn't this kind of rough? Like someone gets leprosy and God goes, You're not allowed in this space with me or my children. But what he is actually doing here is separating health and holiness from sickness and unholiness because he is trying to establish that where his holy presence is, because when the tabernacle was set up, God was physically dwelling with the people in the Ark of the Covenant. When this was set up in Leviticus, God's holiness was there. Where God's holiness is, there can be no room for sickness. There can be no room for unholiness. And so he was trying to show that sickness is not from him, sickness is not from his perfect holiness. Another note on this is there's a video on TikTok. I will link it if I remember. It was wonderful from this man. And he's talking about how an inflamed body can't receive God's promise. I heard him say that. He goes on to say chronic inflammation impairs a part of the brain that is responsible for future-oriented thinking, meaning that this shrinks the brain's ability to imagine possibilities as the body is more inflamed. When you cannot imagine possibilities that God gives you, you are blocking your perception of the promise God is trying to give you. When your body is so inflamed, can you imagine this? Inflammation blocks a part of your brain that is responsible for believing, for imagining, for sitting and visualizing what promise God has for you. How are you going to know when you see it if you haven't spent time feeling it and visualizing it in your mind? How does our body get inflamed? Toxic foods and toxic thoughts. This is what causes chronic inflammation. And this conversation, I think a big thing that the world always talks about is everybody is beautiful. Yes, everybody is beautiful. We know this. But my body, personally speaking, has felt and been its most beautiful when it is least inflamed, most healthy, and I'm taking care of it the best. So this isn't a conversation about are you beautiful? Is your body beautiful? Yes, we already know it is because God has created it. It is about are you taking care of your health the best? Because that is naturally going to result in beauty. If you want one standard of beauty, health, that's it. The healthier you are, it does not matter what country you go to, it does not matter what trend is going on. If you are healthy, that will always be trendy, that will always be beautiful. An example of this, natural foods. When you eat whole foods, your body becomes less inflamed. And I talk about this on a YouTube video, how I believe that you can color correct with foods. There are certain foods like beets, carrots, spinach. When I eat these, the saturation of my skin turns up. My skin gets brighter. It is amazing how foods do this. Even with our thoughts. So we talked about chronic inflammation comes from toxic foods and toxic thoughts. Positive thoughts increase positive interactions and experiences. An example, when you know that you are the daughter of the King of Kings, how is your walk? Are you walking with your shoulders hunched over? Are you walking very insecure? No, you're walking like a queen. Your hips are moving from side to side. You're walking slow, you're not in a rush because you trust my father's got business handled. You carry yourself like a queen because you are actually the daughter of royalty. That begins with your thoughts. It begins with your positive thought, knowing I am the daughter of the King of Kings. That is where your confidence comes from. So your thoughts do impact your experiences and your interactions with people. Just think about the different people that you invite in when your walk is one way versus another. I think Marilyn Monroe could answer this very well. If you're in magnetically polarizing, you know. Alright, so that's health. Number two, self-care. This one's tricky because it can go into idolatry. And so taking care of what God has given you is called stewardship. God says, when you steward what I have given you, I will give you more. This goes for your body, it goes for your finances, it goes for the purpose, the mission God has given you. The better you take care of what you have, the better God will give you later on. So self-care, caring for your teeth, your hair, your skin, your nails, smelling good, bathing, doing work to regulate your nervous system. A couple weeks ago I took a lymphatic drainage bath. It was so wonderful. Oh my gosh, maybe I'll drop the recipe in a YouTube video. I was adding like Aztec clay baking soda. Anyways, that's another story. Um, these things are fine, they are wonderful. It is wonderful to enjoy being a woman. I wake up, I'm like, thank God every day that I am a woman. I'm so like, how lucky are we that we get to enjoy taking care of our hair and playing with perfumes and playing with fashion? Self-care is wonderful. And I don't want you to be scared of beauty or makeup. Like, I love makeup. When makeup enhances your natural features, amazing. When makeup is used for artistic and creative expression, amazing. So don't be afraid to play with beauty in this area. What the Bible says in 1 Peter 3, 3 through 4, it says, don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. Oh, I just love that. Like we are so precious to God. And so this passage is talking about don't concern yourself with beautiful clothes, jewelry, hair. Is God saying, don't play with your hair? Don't shop for fun clothes. No, He is saying, do not be concerned, as in do not idolize this above having a spirit that is beautiful. Do not idolize jewelry above having a spirit that is patient and caring and gentle and kind. Do not idolize your outward appearance above me. That is what God is saying. And that is idolatry. It's anything that we place power, faith, or priority in over God. So self-care is great, just don't place it above God. And even feeling like you're not confident until you do your self-care, that's still placing self-care above God because you're requiring your spirit to be confident and to feel worthy with something from the world. And that's directly going against God, what God has told us. So my main point here is if you took away the beauty ritual or the beauty enhancement, would you still feel would you still feel beautiful? If you took away the silk robe that you wear around the house, do you still feel beautiful? If you took away the makeup, the filler and the Botox, the jewelry, if you took away anything that you are using as a confidence boost, even clear skin, do you still feel beautiful without it? That is when you know that it's not an idol, that instead the self-care or the beauty ritual, it is just the cherry on top. And that's where it's beautiful, that's where it's fun. When you just use it literally for fun, not to determine your worth or how you feel. That should be strong and resilient outside of the beauty routine. Your worth comes from being God's child, it comes from just existing, not from anything you do to feel worthy. And I'm totally blanking on the scripture that this is um, oh, I wish that I had it memorized. But there is a part of the Bible, I believe Jesus says this, where he goes, uh it's something like you're not saved by works, you're saved by grace. Something like that. I'm I'm not saying it right, but you are saved not through what you do, because you can never do enough to be perfect in the eyes of God. You are perfect when you take your heart, give it to God, and goes and you go, it's yours. No action, no work, not even a sinless behavior, a sinless life is going to be enough or going to make you worthy. You are worthy by giving your life to Jesus. On that note, talking about aiming to live a sinless life. This word righteousness has come up a lot for me recently. What does righteousness have to do with beauty? It unlocks the fourth quality of beauty, which we're going to talk about is joy. Righteousness unlocks joy. This is a new discovery that I have made that I'm so excited about. I've literally been waiting to talk about it on the podcast for weeks now. Righteousness unlocks joy. So, second quality of beauty, self-care. Third, righteousness. What does it mean to be righteous? It means to do things right by God's standard, to follow his word. Naturally, when you are living a life that is righteous, you're not going to be engaging in sin. The more that you love Jesus, the more that you hate sin. The less that you desire to have those sinful habits. There are habits that I was doing all of the habit stacking, personal development tricks and tips to try to change. Nothing changed them until my relationship with Jesus strengthened. Because when I love Jesus so much, I don't desire to do the sin that I used to do. When I love Jesus so much, I'm not driving and filled with road rage. Because I my heart belongs to him. It doesn't belong to me. It doesn't belong to my pride anymore. I know pride would make my father so unhappy, uh, so sad to see me driving aggressively. And when things hurt my father, I don't want to do them anymore. And so that's how we can become more righteous. Uh, so what does righteous have to do with beauty? This is a very special episode because it's the first time we're reading from Proverbs 31. Everyone asks me, when are you gonna talk about the Proverbs 31 woman? Here we go. I just need to truly study it before we do a whole episode on it. So Proverbs 31, 25 says, She is clothed, and this is um this is talking about the wife or a wife of noble character. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. All my anxious girlies up, repeat that, okay? Speaking to myself, she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Then in verse 30, we move down. It says, Charm is deceptive and beauty does not last. But a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Okay, this last part is the key here. A woman who fears the Lord. So I'm reading this and then I'm remembered of a verse that I have memorized. It's Malachi 4.2, and it says, But for you who fear my name, this is God speaking, the son of righteousness, S-U-N Son, the Son of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings, and you will go free, leaping with joy like calves. I read this verse and I thought I need to sit with this because the Holy Spirit is nudging me that there's something in here that I'm not getting. I read that, I was like, Son of righteousness, what? What is a baby calf and joy have to do with this? I'm gonna say it one more time. But for you who fear my name, by fearing God, what does that mean? It means respecting him, not fearing him like I'm scared of you, but respect, reverence, awe, following what he says. For you who fear my name, the son of righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. This means in in my um understanding that when you fear God, you will want to do what is right. The son of righteousness will rise. When you do what is right, you will be healed. So the son of righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. Next part, you and you will go free, leaping with joy like calves. So to break this verse down, when you fear God, you want to do what's right. When you do what's right, you are healed. When you are healed, you are set free. When you are set free, you're gonna be jumping around like a baby cow, so full of joy. That's the formula for joy. And so I asked the Holy Spirit, I'm like, please tell me what this means because I do not understand this verse. And he did, and I've just been waiting to come and share it with you. Why I bring this up, Malachi 4.2, when you unlock joy, that becomes, in my opinion, your most beautiful quality. Joy is a fruit of the spirit. In Isaiah, or no, not Isaiah, in Galatians 5 22, but the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, dot, dot, dot. It goes on to gentleness, faithfulness, all of this. Joy is a fruit of the spirit. Think about fruits growing in the ground. When you see a strawberry, like if you've ever been in a garden, my grandma has a garden, and when I go and I pick strawberries with her, pick uh raspberries, radishes, you smell the fruit, you see how bright it is, that it tastes so different than a grocery store. And I just think, whoa, like there is a beauty in fruit that humans can smell and feel and taste when it's so fresh. That is like you, when you have the fruits of the spirit. When people see you in a crowd, they go, There's something different about her. She's not a grocery store packaging, there's something different. They can smell it, they can feel it, they can sense it. It's just like pulling up a fruit from the ground and seeing how beautiful it is. Like, oh my gosh, now I'm craving fruit. Other story. Uh, joy is such a beautiful quality in you as a woman. I always talk about my mom, how she's so full of joy, and how growing up, like I was just amazed. After my parents got divorced and my mom began dating, the way that men gravitated towards my mom, I was like, I need to take notes. Literally, I did take notes. I would ask the guys that she would date, I would say, What do you love the most about my mom? Just questions like this, and they would all tell me the same thing. She has a light in her, she's so happy, she just has this unexplainable peace and joy. Men, they are gravitated to this joy in you like a like a fly is to the light. It is so contagious. Why? Because we all want this joy in ourselves. Think about why human beings do anything. It's to feel joy. Why we want to travel, it's to feel joy. Why we want to eat a certain food, it's to feel joy. Why we want to experience love. It's not to be in love, it's to feel that joy. And so when you are joyful, you reflect back that it's possible for someone else to do it. That makes you extremely magnetic. And also you shine a light on someone else, and their joy gets to be exposed. You give them permission to be joyful. And so when you're carrying this fruit of the spirit, it is so, so beautiful. And so I want to end with um, or actually, one more point. Joy is even more valuable than desire and lust. That's why I talk about the light feminine energy, it is so, so powerful because it's even more powerful than lust. Lust is fleeting. Um, this might be a bit TMI. I don't know if I should talk about this, but I'm just gonna say it. Um, I was having this conversation with uh the same family member, the avocado conversation, and he was telling me, he's like, you know, something that's interesting about men is that they know, like, they know when a woman, when they really love her versus lust. I was asking him what's his difference between love and lust. And he goes, After you have intimacy, we'll just use that word, and you still want to be around her, you know you love her. And I have I've seen this so much in research that I've done around sex and intimacy. Men they view sex so differently than we do. And after they finish with some women, the way that they see her when they wanted to be with her out of lust, that desire to still spend time with her decreases. Versus when they see uh that woman out of love rather than lust, even after sex, they still desire to be around her. And what is going on is the power of love versus lust. Lust, it's just like beauty in the world's eyes. Be sexy, um, get this BBL, get this surgery, get that. That's out of lust, it's always going to be fleeting. And so joy is more powerful than lust because joy comes from love, it comes from the direct fruit of the Holy Spirit. Love or joy is also more powerful than money and fame. That's also why people who have money and fame, they're some of the unhappiest people in the world. I say a lot that after having my business, I would be absolutely depressed if I did not have Jesus in my life. Because I thought financial stability would be the happiest, bring me the most happiness in life. It does not. Jesus is the only thing that has ever brought me lasting happiness. Joy and happiness, not the same, by the way. Joy is, it's like the life-giving water that Jesus talks about. You drink it and you never become thirsty again. It's that constant renewal of peace. You can have joy despite going through a breakup, despite uh the world feeling like it's falling apart. That's not natural because it's coming from a supernatural source, the Holy Spirit. Happiness depends on your situation, and happiness is fleeting. You need to keep doing and feeling and experiencing to have happiness. Joy, you just need to be filled with the Holy Spirit. Uh, so to end here, we're gonna end with Isaiah 43, verse 4. God says, Because you are precious in my eyes and honored, and I love you. If you knew that your father loved you, that your father is the king of kings, how different would you carry yourself? How much more beautiful would you feel? How much more beautiful would you carry yourself? So, this is gonna conclude our episode today. I hope that this has helped you. I love, love, love your comments and messages. Please keep them coming. Thank you so much for being here and just choosing to listen to this episode, sharing it with your friends and your family. Of course, always let me know what you would like to see next. I've been really excited to make this one for you all, and I am just so grateful that it's been six months of the Fruitful Feminine. Time flies, it's crazy. Anyways, I love you. you all so much. I'm always keeping you in my prayers and I hope that you have such a beautiful and blessed week.