Overthinking: How to Break The Spiral for GOOD

Overthinking...our nervous system and feminine energy's WORST enemy. Let's get into why we overthink, and a full manual on how to stop the spiral from beginning, rooted in the Word of God

+ If you have not already listened to our episode on "fasting", I highly recommend to play right after this one. If you search "The Fruitful Feminine Fasting" on your podcast platform, it will pop right up 

Have a beautiful and blessed week!

Transcript

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Hello, hello. Welcome into the Fruitful Feminine. We are talking about overthinking today. Why do we do it and how to get out of it? And boy, do I have a story for you. We'll save that for a little bit later. It's interesting because these last three episodes, this one included, they are different because anytime I teach something, usually I try to make sure I've fully learned that lesson. And then I'll wait maybe a few months, a year to actually teach it. Well, these past three episodes are all things that I am literally going through in my life right now. And God is telling me, teach it. Share exactly the inner work and the healing that I'm having you do. And so honestly, it these episodes have scared me a bit because it's more vulnerable than usual. But I feel like this one needs to be shared. I know many of us struggle with overthinking. I definitely struggle with this. And it's something that two days ago I feel God broke off a new layer of me. And I'm really excited to share how to have that, how to have that tool for yourself and how to stop overthinking before it ruins your life. Because it actually ruins your life. Anyways, hello, I'm Alexis. I'm a feminine energy coach. I love Jesus. And this is the space where we talk about both how to feel the most empowered as a woman that you can be. Of course, men and women are welcome here. And if this is your first episode, hello, I'm so happy to have you. And welcome back if you have been here for a while. So overthinking, how to let go of this. Overthinking, why it's so damaging to our feminine energy is because it keeps us locked out of our body. It keeps us so in our head. And why this is so damaging is because if we are not in our body as God has designed us, we are not in our purpose. And the enemy loves when we are stuck in our head because it means that we are disconnected from our intuition, we are disconnected from the Holy Spirit, and we are actually playing God. It's like our way of being in control, mapping out all of the scenarios. And sometimes it can be the biggest disrespect to God to say, I trust myself more than you. And then I've been here, and it's not a fun realization. But there's a few reasons why we overthink. And we'll get into that in the next part. What I'm going to do is we'll talk about why we overthink. I'm going to share some science. For some reason, when I have the science, something just clicks in my brain. If I can understand why I'm doing something, it helps me to work backwards and stop. So I have some beautiful science that we're going to talk about together. And then I'm going to give you three tools to use with any moment that you overthink for the rest of your life. So that will be the last part of this episode. I was watching a video on TikTok, and this woman, she was sharing about, I think she was a holistic health coach, and she was sharing about how the unhealthiest, the most inflamed, uh, the most struggling with chronic illness, autoimmune that she's ever been in is when she was so strict with her health and her diet. And something in me related so much because I realized, yes, the times that I felt my health, I was just having all these problems with my health and hormones, it is because I was so strict with my food. Everything I was like, does this have seed oils in it? Does this have added sugar? Um, is this organic? Is it not? Like I used to be so controlling with food for many reasons, as I've shared before. Um, but the second I'm like, you know what? I let go of this control. I am just going to, of course, eat healthy 80% of the time, but I'm not going to be so strict on myself. My body became the healthiest, the leanest, actually, and the most um the least inflamed that it's ever been. And this woman was also sharing the same story. She said that when she stopped being so strict with food and thinking about what's going in this, uh, should I eat this or that? That is when her body and her mind became the best. Why I personally think this happens is because when we are overthinking, we jump into survival mode. And when you're in survival mode, you shut down your body's ability to rest and digest. And so now you can be eating the most grass-fed, organic, um, pasture-raised eggs or meat in the world. But if your body cannot rest and digest those eggs, they are going to cause inflammation, which causes sickness, which causes disease, because your body is stressed. And so, if this is just with food, if overthinking impacts our digestive system this much, imagine our nervous system. Imagine our reproductive system. Imagine every other part that God has designed us for get shut down when we start overthinking. And so, why do we do it? The main reason that we overthink is to have control. All my type A oldest daughters come in extra close. Turn this up a couple volumes. It is for control. And I'll share an example to kind of help you understand why control and overthinking go together. So if you are with me on YouTube, you've heard me talk about the anxious attachment style a lot because I used to have it. And with the anxious attachment style, if you are maybe more avoidant or if you are secure and you can't relate to the anxious attachment style, when you are anxiously attached, here's what you will do: when you get triggered by an action from your partner or even a friend, your brain will go into overdrive trying to fix and trying to relieve that pressure that is saying you are about to get abandoned. And so, in order for your body to feel that it's not going to get abandoned, it will try to predict a future so that you can soothe and so that you can feel safe. And so, a practical example of this, if your partner always calls you at 5 p.m. and for some reason that day they didn't call you, if you are anxiously attached, you will go into the worst case scenario. They got into a car accident, they've died, I'm going to get abandoned by the love of my life, or they're cheating on me, or they've decided to leave me. But why does the anxious attachment style do this? She or he is doing this to try to be hurt now so that they don't feel hurt later. Can you see how control is at play here? Because if I can control when I'm hurt, it hurts less. If I can take away pain in the future and I'm just gonna feel it now, I'm just gonna suck it up so that I can feel better later, I can have some control. And control is a false sense of relief. When you feel out of control, you want nothing more than to have control. One of the best realizations in the world that you will have, hopefully after this episode, is I will never be in control. Yay! And thank God, it is impossible to have control. And when we get into the science, you'll see why. So anxiety is at the root of overthinking. Because when you are anxious, you are living in the future. When you are anxious, you are unsettled. And unsettled is what triggers the overthinking to begin. And when you are anxious, you start overthinking because there's this need to ensure safety. Whenever we're in this unrested state, our body goes into overdrive, trying to find something that can calm it. And I'm going to share some examples from my actual own life. Um, first one I wanted to say is if we are trying to calm or soothe ourselves and we are using a worldly tool, it's never going to work. You know how we always talk about here there's fruits of the spirit versus I say thorns or weeds of the enemy. And so either God is planting a seed in you or the enemy is. Sometimes this is disguised as the world. And when that seed grows up, you will either feel that it is fruitful, it's delicious, you feel happy, you feel joyful, love, peace, or you feel anxious, you feel fearful, insecure, doubtful, pessimistic. That is a sign that the enemy has planted some sort of thorn or weed in you, and that's what needs to be chopped down. And so overthinking, when we are trying to fight overthinking with a with a worldly tool, it's not going to work. Because the seed that was planted in you was not physical, it was spiritual. And this is why overthinking will never work, because overthinking is a worldly tool. And so we're trying to fight this anxiousness that we feel with a worldly tool, and it's never going to satisfy our soul. Because our soul knows that it this is not final. I'll give an actual example of this. So for me, uh right now, life has just changed so quick in this last month. With the war that is happening over here in the Middle East, every day looks different for me. People ask, Do you feel safe? And I say, It depends on the time of day. Uh, sometimes it's yes, sometimes it's no. When it's a no, when I get triggered by something and I spiral into overthinking, which I did a lot of two days ago, and that's why we're making this episode. When I start spiraling into overthinking, um I either run to social media or I run to the news. And so something triggered me two days ago. Um, I was, oh, this is why I need to ask God before I do anything, like literally anything, because there was a message that I had from someone that they sent me a week ago, and I I just hadn't opened it yet. And I thought, okay, let me let me just listen to their message. And this message is filled with fear. Alexis, you need to get out of the Middle East, you need to evacuate. I'm so worried about you, just all this stuff. And before I listened to this, I was feeling at peace. I was feeling I trust God. Yes, things are chaotic over here, but the Holy Spirit has not told me to leave. The Holy Spirit has said, trust me, I am protecting you. When I open this message, it switched. And immediately I start searching the news. And I don't even like to say this, but it's true. I start searching the news. Should I evacuate? What's going on? I'm like looking all into the politics, just down this, oh, this heavy rabbit hole of trying to use a worldly tool of the news. It's like the worst, worst tool in the world to use, to satisfy my unrest, to satisfy my unanswered question of am I safe? And so anxiety is at the root of overthinking, and it will always overthinking will always be a false tool that never satisfies your soul. Because here's the thing when I was looking at the news, I could search the news for hours. Number one, the news changes every 30 seconds, and so it's never a final answer. And number two, is my soul knows that the news is not going to give me the answer that I need. My soul knows that my peace and my answer and my direction can only come from God. And so no matter how many hours I spend looking at the news or social media or reading all these posts, my soul is going to be left unsatisfied. And this is why Jesus says you can continue drinking the water of the world, but you will always be thirsty. He is the only one that can give us that life, that that life, everlasting water where we will never be thirsty again. And so on this note of why do we overthink and how it's rooted in control? I'm gonna read, this is going to get a little bit science-heavy for a minute, but I promise it is so rewarding. When I read this, I was just highlighting the whole page. And I'm so glad we're doing this episode because I didn't think I'd be sharing it on the podcast until today. So the book I'm reading from, you can probably guess it. I've talked about this book like every podcast episode and YouTube video in the last month. It's called Switch on Your Brain by Dr. Caroline Leaf. She is a Christian neuroscientist and just brilliant, brilliant. And so she's talking about uh quantum physics, and now I'm going to read what she wrote. It says, American uh physicist Don Lincoln, a groundbreaking researcher of particle physics at Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory, captures very succinctly and clearly what I believe God is doing in science. We can move easily through air, but not through a wall. The sun transmutes one element to another, bathing our planet in warmth and light. Radio waves have carried man's voice to Earth from the surface of the moon, whereas gamma rays can inflict fatal damage on our DNA. On the face of it, these disparate phenomena have nothing to do with one another, but physicists have uncovered a handful of principles that fuse into a theory of sublime simplicity to explain all this and much more. This theory is called the standard model of particle physics, and it encapsulates the electromagnetic forces that make a wall feel solid, the nuclear forces that govern the sun's power plant, and the diverse family of light waves that both make modern communication possible and threaten our well-being. What this guy, Don Lincoln, is uh just describing in his paragraph is how science, how come something like uh where was it? How come something like a wave, like a radio wave, it can carry a man's voice from the earth to the moon, but also the same scientific particle of a wave, it can also cause massage, massive damage on our DNA, which gamma rays do. So he's talking about all of these contrasts within the same particles within science. And he's going on to say this to show that we can't understand God's work. It's not simple enough for our human minds to comprehend because there's so much contrast in it. And so, Dr. Caroline Leaf, she goes on to say quantum physics and neuroscience, for that matter, do not provide ultimate answers, they are simply stepping stones in the development of our understanding of our Almighty God, another way of admiring God, which is just beautiful. Um and then there's this principle called Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, and here she's describing it. So she goes, unpredictability is the norm and therefore requires faith, and without faith it is impossible to please God, which Hebrews 11:6 says. We see this concept in the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, which is a radical departure from classical physics in that it replaces dogmatic certainty with ambiguity. And so what she's saying is that before Heisenberg's uncertainty principle came about, scientists, including Albert Einstein, believed that certainty was possible. These scientists believe that you could use mathematical formulas to guarantee and predict the future. But that is no longer true. So, for example, she goes on to say, humans are seen as observers outside the system who exert an effect that is unpredictable. And it is not just humans who are unpredictable. The unpredictability reaches down to the level of electrons and photons of light, which cannot have a definite momentum or position at the same time. Quantum leaping, my gold vault girls, particles are neither particles nor waves because they are both. And for the quarks, the bossins, and now prions and strings, they are simply all over the place. And so I know that this is very um science-y and wordy, but to summarize this, what she is saying is time does not move linearly. We see that even electrons and photons of or photons of light, they are never in the same place at once. They can their measurement on a graph, on a place in time, on a place in time in space can never be measured, can never be pinned down, that this electron is right here at this place at this time. And so time doesn't move linearly because particles are constantly jumping all over the place. My girls who asked me to talk more about quantum physics, I really hope you're on this episode because this is so for you. So then she goes on to talk about how math predictions show unpredictability, and this will be our last part here. So she goes, you can try to mathematically predict uncertainty. Sounds strange, doesn't it? Quantum physics math prediction is all about mathematically showing this uncertainty, which basically undergirds free will. But you will never be 100% accurate in predicting exactly what another person is thinking, even someone you know very well. This is a God-ordained precept in which it is clear that no human knows another human's thoughts except that person and God. For that man knows the things of a man, or for what man knows the things of a man except the spirit of the man and which is in him. Even so, no one knows the things of God except the spirit of God. First Corinthians 2 11. And so the earlier scientists that I was talking about, like Albert Einstein, they believed that you can predict certainty, but that's not what Scripture says. Scripture says only a man and his spirit can predict his next move. Not science, not a mathematical formula, and definitely no mathematical formula can predict God's next move. You can't predict the weather, you can't predict the politics that are going to happen, you can't predict the next pandemic that we're gonna be in. I thought I was like, COVID is going to be the craziest experience of my life. Now I'm like, oh my gosh, living in a war zone is probably the craziest experience of my life. At this point, I'm like, you know what? I'm open to anything that God has because I cannot predict that life will be peaceful from this point on. I can predict that I will feel peaceful, that God gives me a spirit and a feeling of peace, but I cannot predict that the events in the world will be peaceful. So, anyways, she goes on to say the weather tomorrow, what your friend is going to say, what you will be doing at this time a week from today. In fact, all aspects of life in the future, these all follow Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. It gives us two options, faith or fear. And so, why I just read all of this jumble of science is to highlight a few points. One, unpredictability is the norm. How freeing is that? Being unsure of what's going on, being unsure of what's going to happen, that is the norm. It is not normal to always feel that you can predict what's coming. AKA, it is not normal to be anxious. AKA, it is not normal to be in control. Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, anytime you forget this, come back. Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. You cannot predict the future. You cannot even predict where something as small as an electron where it is in time and space. It's always moving. And you can either have faith or you can have fear. And if you haven't listened to the episode, How to Have Faith When You Feel Fear, please go back and listen to that. That one was really important. And God uses He uses science to bring us from the physical to the spiritual. Because when I realize, oh, I can't have control. So nothing I do in the physical reality matters, that means I must go to God when I feel anxious. Swiping and reviewing the news. That's not soothing my anxiousness. And why does God why does God set up this system where no worldly physical tool will soothe us? Because he wants us to run to him as his children. He wants us to go, this isn't working. I need help. Father, where are you? He is the only one who can give us what we are looking for. And so God uses science to bring us from the physical to the spiritual. There's a Bible verse that I love, and it's in Jeremiah. I'm totally blanking on which one it is. And it talks about uh, let me think of it for a second. God says, I wanted nothing more than for you to call me father. I wanted nothing more than to give you this beautiful land, the finest possession in all the world. I looked forward to your calling me father, and I wanted you never to turn from me. That part in Jeremiah, I read that over and over again because I just think we have this precious father who says, call me Abba. Abba means endearing father. It means run to me. I'm here for you. God will never, ever turn from us. No matter what we have done, no matter who or how bad we think we are. God says, I wanted you to call me father. I wanted you never to turn from me. Um so, anyways, he is here craving this relationship with us, and I think he gives us certain um experiences in life that are not always so fun to go, I need you, father, and to run to him. And overthinking is one where we are so close, but instead of running to him, we often run to the future, which is pointless because we will never stop running if that's what we are doing. Alright, so this is part one. Why why do we overthink? It comes down to control. Uh, let's see, I believe that's it here. Okay. Part two, how to stop overthinking. Number one, strengthen the discipline of your thoughts. The goal for the rest of us for the rest of the year is to be as disciplined in our mind as we are in our body. How do you strengthen the discipline of your thoughts? I'll give you uh about three, yeah, I've got three ways for you. Then I'm going to tell you a fourth way, and then there's going to be a very crazy story coming. So, how to strengthen the discipline of your thoughts? Meditate. When I say meditate, people are always like, meditating is new age. No, meditating is what God told us to do in the Bible. The new age spiritual community has taken meditation, twisted it, which the enemy is always very good at, and rooted it in another source. That source being the universe. I say this in air quotations, sometimes yourself being your source, which is just acting like your own God sometimes. You do not need to be scared of meditation. God tells us in the Word, meditate on my word, meditate on scripture. And so meditating, I try to do it every day, still working on my consistency here, being honest, is I sit down for five minutes, I put on sounds of the ocean in the background, and I'm sitting crisscross applesauce, eyes closed, body relaxed, focused on my breathing, and I'm simply just observing my thoughts. Whatever comes up, comes up. I'm releasing all the tension in my body. I'm just noticing what is at the top of my mind for that day. Any thought that is negative, I imagine that I'm catching it with my hand and just releasing it on the exhale. I start to notice what is swimming in my mind because that is actually what is swimming in my subconscious the rest of the day. If you sit down and meditate and your to-do list comes up, you know what's in your subconscious the whole day? I have to keep racing. I'm running against the clock. I'm running out of time. I'm in a rush, I'm in a hurry. And that's definitely blocking some feminine energy. So just be aware of your thoughts. And this also helps you to pull up a lot of creativity because you know the idea of shower thoughts. That phrase shower thoughts came to be because most people have their most creative moments in the shower. This was before speakers and music and podcasts came about. It's always interesting. Whenever I fast, I feel I can't listen to anything while I cook or I shower. Like it feels so loud after a day of fasting. And I think, have I built my multitasking rushing tolerance so much that I'm not able to shower without listening to something? The best ideas are known to come in the shower because it used to be the only time of the day where we didn't have any distractions. We could just sit with our thoughts. Want to know why you can't go to bed and you keep doom scrolling for two hours, even when you could go to bed early and you have all the time in the world. There's a term called revenge bedtime procrastination. And why our brain does this is because we do not give our time, we do not give our body time to sit with our thoughts during the day. And so you know what our body does? It takes revenge on us for not sitting with our thoughts, and it goes, we're going to rest, and we recognize rest as scrolling because we've tricked ourselves into thinking that helps us somehow. And so we are going to just scroll and scroll and scroll at night, watch TV, distract, numb, distract at night. You didn't give us time to be with our thoughts, body. So we are going to take this time back and try to be with our thoughts. That is why you cannot go to bed when you want. Your body's trying to take revenge because you didn't sit with your thoughts during the day. So to be disciplined with your mind, you must remove distractions. And the best way to start doing this is to meditate. Second way to strengthen the discipline of your thoughts is to journal. Why this helps to strengthen the discipline of your thoughts, it's an act of discipline in itself to sit down, open up a blank page, and let your thoughts spill onto paper. And a lot of my students and clients, they will say, Oh, I can just do this inner work with you without doing the journaling. And I say, Nope. Your rubber band is trying to keep you limited. My students that do the inner work and they do the journaling, usually this happens their second time taking one of my courses, the same course, they just repeat it. They're like, Alexis, the journaling alone changed my life. Because when you sit and you open up a page and you let your thoughts and your mind just spill out onto the paper, things come out of your subconscious that you didn't know were there. You are taking time to clean out your subconscious. If you don't journal, if you don't put your thoughts onto paper, it's almost like continuing to pile in food to a trash bin where it's just getting fuller and fuller and fuller. Not that your mind is a trash bin, just for the sake of this analogy. But you need to take out the old and you need to let it go. You need to see what's in there that's causing the smell. You need to see what's in there that you ate that didn't make you feel good and be like, oh, we're not gonna do that again. You have to cleanse out your mind. And journaling is such a great way to do this because it's an act of discipline to sit down and let your mind speak. It's like telling your mind and telling your subconscious, tell me what's going on. We're gonna take a look at this. And also you're pulling out the truth. It is an act of discipline to be vulnerable. I used to do this thing in my journals where I would write certain things, but I would know, okay, I'm not gonna put that on paper because what happens if someone finds my journal? But I knew, like, there was a part of me nudging me, that's not what it is. You're not afraid of someone finding your journal. And then I realized I was afraid of seeing it on paper. I was afraid of seeing that shadow side, I was afraid of seeing that intimate, vulnerable side. This even happened on Saturday. I was journaling and I was fasting too. And so I was I was really convicted. God told me something, and I was like, I don't think I want to write this. And then I thought, what am like, what am I gonna do? Go another month and then wait to have this growth and to have this shift in me. I'm just gonna put it out now. I'm gonna see it. It's scary, but also it's really beautiful when God tells you something about yourself. And it can help you it can help you be free and stop overthinking because you're not sitting with shame anymore, you're not sitting with this desire that you're not allowing yourself to have anymore. This was in regard to my marriage, and it was something that God told me, and I was like, that's really scary to to believe that I could have this. Um, but then when I wrote it out, I said, it's not so scary, and it's even more believable now. It was something super, super specific. And then you can start to uh feel worthy of it coming. You can start to feel, you can start to have the faith that it actually exists. And what does the Bible say in Hebrews? It says faith is the evidence of things hoped for. And it is a substance, like your faith and your hope, they are the substance. And I think that's so beautiful because what the manifestation world tells us is of course, you whatever you think you can attract, right? Which the Bible does say your thoughts will become your physical substance. But I think on another note, when God says faith is the evidence of things hoped for, he is saying that our faith is the physical. And let's use the example, let's say I I really, really want a baby. Well, the baby that is also the physical, but your faith that the baby will come, the faith that you will get pregnant. I feel like God is saying your faith is the physical substance. We're so focused on the baby, the baby, but it's your faith that is actually uh what God is wanting us to have, that is actually proof of the evidence. So, anyways, that could be a whole other episode. All of that was in journaling. Anyways, we need to move on so this isn't too long for you. So we've got meditating, journaling, doing that inner work, and number three, how to strengthen the discipline of your thoughts is be conscious in conversations. My best friends and I, we are all so conscious of this. When we get together, which is usually once to twice a week, we talk for like four to six hours. We always have so much to talk about. And there's five of us, right? So we've got a lot. And we are always so passionate speaking to each other. Like we're talking about things in the Bible, we're talking about things in our love life, things with our family, our inner work. And sometimes our passion causes us to cut each other off when we're talking, and we're always so aware, sorry to cut you off, or okay, let me hold this thought, you keep going. And I always feel it's so respectful and it's so beautiful because think about when you're telling someone something and you know they want to say something, and they go to cut you off, and they're like, no, let me hold this, you continue. That is an act of discipline on their end, and it is so beautiful. So, how you can strengthen your thoughts or strengthen the discipline of your thoughts, be conscious in conversations. Like, use conversations as a tool to practice speaking and thinking discipline. Make sure that you try your best not to cut people off. Don't gossip, uh, don't complain. Not complaining, like that is one of the best things you will ever do to your discipline. Anytime I find myself complaining, I'm like, this is not my identity, I'm not available for this. My life gets better. And it's not because I got to dump out the complaints, maybe I'll do that in my journal, but it is because I made a choice. I am not someone that's going to lead with a pessimistic mindset. That's not what I'm available for. And it disciplines me to stop thinking in a pessimistic way. And what does that do? It disciplines you to not overthink. And so these are three ways: meditate, journal, be conscious in conversations. Fourth way of how to strengthen the discipline of your thoughts. Fast. And they might not seem related, but I'm going to tell you a story and you'll see, okay, when can I fast next? I cannot stop talking about fasting because it has just changed my life so much. And I have something very exciting to tell you guys. I did my first three-day fast and I'm so happy. Only water, three days fasting and praying. That's why I wasn't on YouTube Friday. I woke up Thursday and God told me to fast. And I was like, okay, yeah, I can fast for a day. I usually do that once a month. And my goal for this year is to do a three-day fast. But I thought, I'm going to try to work up to my three-day fast because, whew, that's gonna be hard. The most I've done was two days, and I was like, all right, this is the max that I can do. And so I thought every month I'm going to fast a little longer, a little bit longer, probably by November and December, I'll be able to do a three-day fast. I just know God has been calling me to do one this year. I don't know what needed to be broken off of me, what revelations I needed to have, but I know he said fast for three days. So, anyways, Thursday I wake up. God goes, fast. I say, okay. Then he goes, and this is gonna be when you do your three-day fast. I was like, mmm, this is literally me. I was like, God, I don't, I don't think, I don't think that was you. Um, was that you or was that just my my intrusive thoughts? It was him because I it's like a full-body piece, and I know that thought did not come from me. So, anyways, I was like, all right, we're gonna do it. And I did it. I have never like, I don't know how to put this into words. My joy is another level. I was talking to my mom, she's like, You just sound so excited in your voice. I said, Mom, something changed in me. My peace is back. Like, I'm in the most chaotic month I have had in a long, long, long time. Um, my peace is back despite this chaos, despite the war that is going on, my joy is completely restored, my confidence, my creativity is back. Something changed in me. And when I was journaling, I was trying to figure out what is it that this fast changed? Because it's a day where it's three days where I'm only praying, I'm reading the Bible, um, I don't watch any TV, no social media, nothing from the world I consume. Even music, I barely listen to worship music. I'm just praying and journaling. And what I wrote in my journal is it feels this fast. It's the first time that I feel my joy is different. It's a feeling of my spirit and my soul feels in anticipation for something that has happened, for something that is happening, and for something that will happen. And I I don't know if this makes sense, but it's just what came to me when I was journaling. And when I was thinking, yeah, there's this, there's this excitement for something that has, is, and will happen. And then I'm like, what does this remind me of? Jesus. My soul just feels touched and filled by Jesus. Jesus has come, is coming, and will come. This is what the Bible says. So when I wrote this out, I thought, oh my gosh, no wonder why my joy is back. It is a joy that makes no sense. It's different from happiness. And I don't know, I'm just so excited this week. Some people were saying in my YouTube videos, you just look happy. And I say, I am. Yesterday it was a Monday. I live streamed, I never live stream on Mondays, but I just felt happy. It was raining outside, the sky was completely gray. I was like, this makes no sense. And also, let me tell you about the night before, why it also doesn't make sense. Um, my aura ring said that my sleep score was 62, which is really, really bad. Usually I get like 85 to 90. What happened on Sunday night? So I fast Thursday, Friday, Saturday, right? Then Sunday. Sunday is when, like I said earlier, I listened to this message from this person who was like, you need to evacuate, Dubai, Alexis, get out. Things are just gonna get worse. I'm so scared for you. I go down the rabbit hole of the news and I was like, wait, wait, wait. I have just had peace for three days during this fast. Enemy, you are not, you're not gonna do this to me. Like, you're not taking this peace. And so I go to bed and I'm thinking, all right, this is gonna be such a great night of sleep. I'm gonna start the week off great. And something quick that I should note is why sleep is really important to me now is because about two weeks ago my neighborhood was hit in in an attack. The building across from me, I saw the the uh hit from the drone and it traumatized me. I'm not gonna go too much into the details, but that that's why I wasn't on YouTube that week. I was just I I felt paralyzed by fear, feeling that the attack was that close. My whole neighborhood was just like we were all frozen. A lot of people were sleeping in the parking garage, sleeping in their cars. So, anyways, going to sleep now, it has been scary for me because when I close my eyes, I I'm afraid of hearing the explosion again. I'm afraid of being near my windows. And so sleep for me, it is it's scary, but um, what's the word that I'm looking for? It's like an inner work process every single night these last couple weeks. So Sunday I close my eyes and I go to bed. I go to bed around 10:30. 1 a.m. My fire alarm goes off. Guys, it is the loudest sound. I've never woken up more frightened in my life. I grab Gus. It's 1 a.m. My body is shaking. Like I told my mom, I said, I didn't have a heart attack, obviously, but I felt like I was about to. My body went numb. I couldn't feel my hands. My heart was shaking. Like I felt my heartbeat slow so much. The fire alarm is screaming in my ears. I'm just coming out of a peaceful sleep. I grab my wallet, I grab Gus. I'm in my PJs. My PJs are very cute, too cute to be seen by the public. So I grab a robe, I put it on, grab my flip-flops, I run with Gus out of my apartment. My thought process was we are under attack. Um, I don't know if I am going to survive right now, but I just need to go. We are told that if we need to evacuate, we need to go down to the parking garage because that's the safest place if there is an explosion. And so I grab Gus. We are running down the stairs, and we get to the parking garage, and my ears are just on fire, like my heart is on fire. And we get to the parking garage, I see all the neighbors, we're all half awake, we're like, what is going on? We all think that we are under attack because of what is happening. And then we see the there's this huge dumpster with all the smoke that's blowing up. And turns out that someone threw a cigarette down the trash chute of the of my building and it caused a fire. Oh my gosh, I was so relieved. No one was hurt. I was so relieved when I found out that it was a fire, um, just because of where my mind is at. But we all move outside. I'm talking with one of my neighbors and her boyfriend. We're like, what's going on? And um then we are all calm because we know, okay, it's just a fire, but we're shaken up because also we are so on edge. All of us hear any sound, any thunder, any car engine that revs, our heart drops because we think it's an explosion. We're constantly scanning the sky, like we are just on alert. And so We're all just frustrated and we're tired and we're scared. And so I'm talking with one of my neighbors, and she goes, Yeah, uh, my boyfriend and I, we are going to move to the UK for a few weeks. And my heart kind of sunk because her and I were, we were like the only friends left in our building who had not moved out yet. And I was like, No, you're leaving, don't leave. But I know it's best for her mental health right now. And I get back up to my apartment and I'm just scared. I'm like, how do I sleep after this? Now my friend is leaving. I want my mom. God, I'm so scared. And it's about 1:30, 2 a.m. at this time, and I'm laying in my bed, and I'm just thinking, God, I just had the best fast of my life, and now this is happening. I feel, I feel confused on the spiritual attack. It's like this extreme high and then this extreme low back to the fear and the danger. And I'm laying in bed and I'm like, you know what? This fast must have been so powerful because the peace that it brought me, the enemy is trying to steal. And I have a conversation with the enemy, and this is gonna go into point number two. And I say, You don't get to steal my peace. And then I'm thinking, if you, enemy, are trying to get me out of this city, out of what God is calling me to do, there must be an even greater reason to stay. And so I said, You don't get my peace. And I know you're trying to get me to run. I know you're trying to fill me with fear. And so, even more I'm going to stay. I roll over, guys, and I go to sleep so peacefully. And so also what I had said is um what I had said to the enemy is, I just gave up food for three days. I can let this thought go. I kept thinking, like, I don't know, what if there is another fire or another attack? And I looked at that thought and I said, I am drowning in this thought and it's keeping me from going to sleep. I just freaking gave up food for three days. I can give up this thought. And I slept like a baby the rest of the night. If I didn't fast, I wouldn't have been able to look at that thought and go, oh, you're so easy to let go of. Okay, it is very difficult to fast, but it's also very, it's like the greatest act of discipline that you could ever do. If you can enact that discipline over your mind by fasting, any thought that comes up, you can grab it and you can go get out of here. 2 Corinthians 10 5, it says, we demolish arguments and pretensions, which is just a claim, that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. What does that mean? When God tells us, take captive every thought, it means grab that thought. Remember how I said when you meditate, grab that thought with your hand and you make it obedient to Christ. What does it mean to make a thought obedient to Christ? It means take that thought, put it next to the truth, which is scripture, and say, does this match? If it doesn't, get out of here. If you are not obedient to the word, you do not get to be a part of my mind. This is why you must know scripture. This is why reading the Bible every single day, it is so important, even if it's just 10 minutes, because now you have a blueprint for what the truth looks like that when thoughts come up and they don't match God's word, you go get out of here. And it cuts the overthinking immediately. You can compare your thoughts to the fruit of the spirit. The fruits of the spirit are love, peace, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, joy, patience, and goodness. If your thought does not match, that is not a fruit of the spirit, that is a thorn, that is a weed from the enemy. Weeds are not cute in the garden of your mind. Get them out of here, chop them down. Here's an example. When my mind was saying, I'm fearful, so I think I should run. I think I should leave this country. I take that thought, I take it captive, and I make it obedient to the word by saying, Does this match what the Bible says? I'm saying, I'm fearful, so I'm gonna run. But the word says in Isaiah 41, 10, for example, do not fear, for I am with you. So number one, and the word is saying, do not fear. So the question isn't, I'm fearful, should I run? The question is, why am I fearing when God says do not? Another great verse, Psalm 91. Let me actually pull out my Bible. Every night before I go to bed, I am reading this. And this stays open in my room when I sleep. So Psalm 91, it says, Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrows that fly in the day. And if we go down a little further, it says, These evils will not touch you. And so I'm fearful, I should run. That doesn't match. Um, these evils will not touch you. These evils will not touch you, says stay in place you're protected. And of course, there's going to be times when God tells you, move, don't walk down that alley, um, don't go, don't drive here this day, get out of this situation. Yes, God will speak to you. But when I look at my thoughts that were telling me, run, um, move away, and I look at what triggered those thoughts, they were all weeds of the enemy. They were all from fear. It was either from the news where I was reading things and I was like, I should evacuate. It was listening to messages from people who were not led by the Holy Spirit and telling me, Alexis, I'm so scared for you. Um, you need to leave. Like, even if it means leaving your dog, I'm like, all right, you're not led by the Holy Spirit, you're not leading me. So, another example. I'm scared, I should run. Let's use another example. What is everyone thinking of me? This is, I think, where a lot of us overthink. What is everyone thinking of me? Everyone's judging me. Take that thought and compare it to the word. The word says, for example, in Galatians 1.10, if pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant. That's one of my favorite scriptures in the world. People pleasers, make this your daily Bible verse, and you will forget what people pleasing even means. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant. If you're not serving Christ, who are you serving? Uh-oh, is right. You're serving the world. Another Bible verse. This is 2 Timothy 2.4. It says, soldiers don't get tied up in the affairs of civilian life, for then they would not be pleasing the officer who enlisted them. So you're a soldier, is what God is saying. And if you are getting caught up in pleasing people with saying the right things on your YouTube channel, pleasing people with your relationship decisions, pleasing people by staying quiet and nice, you're not pleasing the officer, aka God, who enlisted you, who created you. And that's not a very good soldier. All right, so this is tool number one, how to stop overthinking, strengthen the discipline of your thoughts. Number two, we already covered this a little bit, speak to the thorns from the enemy directly. When I was laying in bed the night of this fire alarm, I should actually say the morning of, the morning of this fire alarm, and I was like, there must be something very powerful that God is needing me to do from this fast here in this city, and with the peace that he's giving me. Because the enemy is trying to take it. Enemy, you don't get this from me. Literally speak to him like this. He has no power over you. My pastor at church, there's two, there's a husband and wife, and they're just amazing. And she we're doing all of our services online, and so she had shared this um example with us this weekend. I'm totally gonna mess up the story because I don't remember the exact name of this person, but there was a guy who had told this story about how he was sleeping and he came under attack from this demonic source. And while he was sleeping and he saw this demon in his room, he looked at the demon and he goes, Oh, that's just you, rolls back over and goes to bed. I was like, Yeah, that's really good. I've never had an encounter like this in my sleep, but I know a lot of people have felt under attack in their sleep like this or uh dealt with evil forces. And if you've ever experienced this, please know you still have the same authority. There's a book that my best friends are reading. This book is literally being passed around in our friendship group. We're each reading it because they're saying it's so good, and I'm next on the list, so I need to hurry my other books. It's called The Believer's Authority. I haven't read it, but I know it's good. And it's by a Christian author, and it's teaching you about how to have authority over the enemy because we're so scared, like this the enemy, the devil, he's in my room, he's in my thoughts, he's gonna overtake me. No, God says you have authority over him. And we need to start speaking to the enemy with that authority. Oh, it's just you. When fear comes up, when overthinking comes up, when anxiousness comes up, when unworthiness comes up, oh, that's just you. All right, that's just one of your silly attacks. The enemy uses the same strategy over and over and over. How can he steal the fruits of your spirit? He's a weed, okay? He's hungry for fruit and he's coming for yours. You must be on guard and you must protect your fruit, and you must recognize when you are starting to have thoughts that are not fruitful, because someone has stolen your fruit and you get to get it back. So you can use phrases such as, you have no power here, or you must know something powerful is here, or else you would not be attacking me. So that's number two, speak to the thorns from the enemy directly. One more bonus tip is remember that perfectionism is also a thorn. I think there's two routes from the enemy here. Number one is control. If I can be perfect, I can remain in control. Okay, but what about unpredictability as we talked about earlier? Control is an illusion. Control is us trying to play God. Control is going, God, I don't trust you, I trust myself, so I'm gonna make things perfect so I can stay in control. And also I think perfectionism is perfectionism is sometimes rooted in vanity. If I can be perfect, I can be pleasing. If I can be perfect, I can be the best, I can feel the best, I can stay liked. I really struggled with this when I was making my first program, Master Your Feminine Energy. There's this one specific lesson I will never forget. And so what I would do is every week I would film one of the lessons. There's I think 10 or 12 lessons in there. And one of the lessons I had all my notes for, and I was filming. And if you are a YouTuber or a content creator or a coach, you'll know this feeling when you go to film and you're like, oh, I could do a better intro. So you restart. I kept restarting and restarting and restarting, and that lesson took me about three hours to make because then I could get going, and then I'm like, I just messed up. Let me redo this part. The editing was a nightmare. I remember being so frustrated because I really wanted to teach this important and powerful lesson, but I was blocked by perfectionism. And the next day I woke up and I was like, I'm redoing it. And it was such a huge deal for me to redo it because I was extremely busy. I had such a full coaching list at that time. I had clients like four to five a day. I didn't have time to film my lesson on another day, but I said I'm redoing it. And this time I'm not hitting that pause button. I'm recording all the way through, even if I mess up. That was the first time I think I ever recorded something. This was maybe two and a half years ago. Um, that was the first time I ever recorded something all the way through without stopping. Maybe outside of my live streams. And I was like, whoa, that felt good. And it was so good. It was the best lesson that I had filmed. And then I just kept on doing that. And then that's how I started teaching all my courses and live streams. It's from a place of freedom, it's okay to mess up, and authenticity, and people can feel that. Your my YouTubers and content creators, your first recorded take is always the best, right? You think it's bad, then you you stop it and you start it over, and you're like, oh my gosh, the first one was way better. It's like your voice starts changing, your eyes start straining. Ah, it's the same with texting or messaging or flirting. The best way to flirt and to enjoy romance with your partner is just let go of perfectionism. Stop overthinking. Let's say you're messaging with someone and you're trying to get the perfect sentence. If you, you know how when you're messaging a guy that you don't really like, it's so easy for you to have banter and to flirt and to play. And those guys always like you so much. It's because you you're not leading with perfectionism. You're just so yourself. And that's really attractive. You're not overthinking because you don't care. That is how you should approach relationships. Not that you don't care, but I'm not gonna overthink because I'm just me, they're just them, and if my natural self doesn't fit them, they are not a fit for me. And I want to know who's not a fit for me so that I don't waste time. Your husband, you will never be too much for. You could never do anything to give your husband the ache or to push you away. So don't overthink because that's just gonna stop him from coming. All right, number three. Number three, how to stop overthinking. This will be our last one. Sleep and surrender. My church is amazing. We're doing a series on fear right now, and they created this devotional for us and put it in the U Version app, like the like two days after the war here started. And so we're all doing this devotional, and I'm gonna read something that they put in our devotional, and it says, This is my pastor speaking. Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is sleep. Sleep is an act of trust. It says, God, you're in control, even while I'm unconscious. I was like, oh, this is gold. Because all of us in this country, we are struggling to sleep. Because if we close our eyes, we can't scan the sky. If we close our eyes, we could wake up to an explosion or a missile alert, and it's really scary. And so he was reminding us that sleep is an act of surrender. When you close your eyes, it takes so much courage to close your eyes and sleep at night when you feel scared and go, God, I trust you. It takes so much courage to stay when God says, or when the world is saying to move, and God is saying to stay. And on the other side, when God is saying to move, and the world or your comfort is telling you to stay, it takes so much courage to move. So back on this point, sleep and rest. In Psalm 4.8, it says, In peace I will lie down and sleep. For you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe. And when you are overthinking, what you can do is imagine that you're putting that thought to sleep. Maybe you're thinking, um, I don't know if this person likes me. Also, if you hear a noise in the background, it is thunder. It is raining out right now. So just want to let you know that that is thunder. When you feel an anxious thought come up, maybe you're walking into a friend's birthday party and there's new friends there, and you're thinking, ah, everyone's thinking about me, or they're making fun of me, or maybe my outfit's not good enough. Put that thought to sleep, okay? Just tell it something like, You can rest, baby girl. Give it a nickname. You can rest, you're okay. And maybe another example is you're thinking, what if I waste all this time with this person and they're not even the one? Put that thought to sleep. Why? Is because when you ask a question like this, what if I waste all this time and this person isn't the one? It's perfectionism and it's control coming up. And this is assuming that you are in control of your timeline. And it's also assuming that you know better than God. Because if God is having you in the situation and you're sitting here overthinking, what if I waste time? Um, I need to calculate, I need to plan, and what if I even waste this time and they're not the one? You are assuming that God doesn't have you there for a reason. You are assuming that there is not a lesson you're supposed to get out of it. You are assuming that um that person isn't the one, number one, and maybe it is, maybe God has designed them for you. And it assumes that you are in control of the timeline. An example of this, my first business was an Amazon drop shipping business. I started it when I was 20, and I thought this is going to set me financially free. I was so cute. Um, I don't say that that business failed. I say that I invested$10,000 into a learning experience. It was all of my money from modeling that I had saved up. I just kept pouring into this business. I want to sell these products on Amazon and make money in my sleep. It did not work out for me. It has worked out for some people, but not for me. It wasn't the business I was supposed to do. But imagine I was overthinking, even getting started. Imagine I was overthinking, ah, I don't know if I should get the LLC or even learn how to do this. What if it fails? It was supposed to fail so that I would have the confidence and have the tools to be able to set to start my second online business, so least aware. And so there is a lesson, there is something that God has you in that timeline, He has you in that experience for a reason. Even relationships, like my very first love, love life experience, that's what broke my heart and even got me into learning about feminine energy. Imagine I'm sitting there overthinking, trying to plan. I don't know if he's the one. Um, I need to make sure I'm in control. I need to make sure that everything goes perfect. If it went perfect, I would not be speaking to you right now. Let the timeline go. The perfect example of this is I was journaling and I was during this fast, I was talking to God and I was saying, God, you collapsed my timeline. Oh my gosh. I told myself, I'm going to do a three-day fast within these next 12 months. This was back in January. God, you did it for me in three months. You collapsed my timeline by nine months. You gave me strength, you gave me um endurance and discipline that I didn't know that I had nine months earlier than I thought I would have it. And I wrote, God, I'm open to you collapsing any and all timelines. So I have created. You're so good. And so these are the three points how to stop overthinking. Strengthen the discipline of your thoughts, speak to the thorns of the enemy directly, and sleep and surrender. There's nothing more feminine energy than surrendering. And we have such a good, loving, masculine, protecting father that is protecting us and watching us while we surrender and holding us while we surrender. There's a beautiful, I was just reading this while I was fasting. Let me see if I can find it. Um, there's a beautiful Bible verse that talks about how God sees us as his precious children. And let's see if I can find it. Yes, thank you, God. Sometimes I'm like, I there's how many pages in the Bible? There's like a thousand, one thousand one hundred plus pages. Am I gonna be able to find what I'm looking for? So sometimes I just ask God, can you point me to a scripture to read? And he pointed me to Psalm 139. Like, I'll just feel maybe a chapter and a number, and I'll just go and read it. So, this is what I was reading. And this is for when you need a reminder that you can surrender, you have a father who just wants to hold you and protect you. Psalm 139, 13. You made all the delicate inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex. Your workmanship is marvelous. How well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, oh God. They cannot be numbered. I can't even count, I can't even count them. They outnumber the grains of sand. Isn't this so beautiful? How how precious are your thoughts about me, oh God? And this is David writing. It says, God's precious thoughts about us, we can't even count them. They are more than the grains of the sand. And God watched as we were being formed. Just imagine like this loving father up in heaven, just smiling, waiting in anticipation as our lips were formed, as our arms were formed, as we were coming out of our mother's womb. He's just waiting there like, oh my daughter, I've been waiting for you. Now let's do this together. Last point here is remember that the doors that God opens for you, nobody can close. Absolutely nobody. Revelations 3.7, it says, What he opens, no one can close. And what he closes, no one can open. And if we read the next verse, it says, I know all the things you do, and I have opened a door for you, no one can close. Revelations 3.8. You don't think your way into an open door. And actually, you don't think your way out of a door, especially out of a closed door. Overthinking is pointless. And you don't need to think. You get to get back into your body, you get to get back into that beautiful feminine, you get to surrender. And while you are surrendered and just soaking up time with God, stepping into the directions that He's calling you to go in, He is opening your doors. You cannot think your way into that door. You definitely can't overthink your way into that door. The purpose of our life is to seek God, not to play God. The more we seek God, the more He guides us and gives us the answers, gives us the peace to calm the anxiety and control. And when we let go of trying to be in control, we let go of trying to play God, we get to actually experience God. And he has set up our life in a way where we are constantly running and seeking to him. That is why nothing, no tool will ever soothe you, bring you joy, bring you peace outside of him. So remember this the next time you are tempted to overthink. I love you so much. And I hope that you have such a beautiful, such a blessed week. I'm always so grateful that you are here. So grateful for your comment and your ratings on the podcast. And please always let me know any episodes that you would like to see. This podcast is for you. So thank you again, ladies too, for your prayers. Just the sweetest prayers that you are covering my home, that you are covering me for safety and praying for me. I really appreciate you. And I'm always praying for you. I love you, and I can't wait to see you next week.