How the Enemy Attacks Women

There are THREE major ways that women are attacked by the enemy.

This episode discusses what these are, and how to win the battle on your heart, femininity, and worth

+ Plus, we dive into the three ways the enemy also attacks men

"Spiritual Warfare" Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6EdSCYkdZ4ci5MJ1X18I3S?si=fQW5eD6PTpycNggjYGTlHA

Have a beautiful and blessed week!

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, hello. Welcome into the Fruitful Feminine. Hello, hello, beautiful ladies. We are talking about the way that the enemy attacks women today. There's three specific ways that he does this. And by the end of the episode, I want you to be so aware of these sneaky tactics and also have the tools to stop that battle and protect your mind, protect your heart, and protect your soul. If this is your first episode, welcome in. I am so happy that you are here. And I'm Alexis. I'm a feminine energy coach and I love Jesus. And this podcast, we started maybe seven or eight months ago, which can you believe it's been that long already? Um, and it's just a space where we talk about how to be a powerful woman of God, how to be that woman that God has made you to be and melt off anything that the world has added to you that has made you feel unworthy or weighed you down, and talk about anything that the world has also taken from you that God gave to you as a beautiful and powerfully woman. So if you've already been here for a while, I'm extra happy that you are back. All right, let's get straight into this episode. So last week we were talking about how to create a healthy relationship with food, and I'm so happy that you loved that episode. Thank you so much every time you give me feedback saying I love this episode, this is what I want to see. This podcast is for you. So I love, love your feedback. And so we were talking about food, we were talking about body image, and when I'm sitting sitting down thinking about what to talk about today, I realized there's a part of that episode that we touched on but didn't get too much into. And it has to do with the ways that the enemy, that Satan, that the devil attacks women. There's three specific ways that we'll talk about in this episode. And there's also three ways that I have seen the enemy attacks men. So I'll probably share those at the end of this episode as well. Especially if you are in a relationship, you can have those tools to help speak life into your partner, into your husband again. Because I feel that is the power God has given us. It's to be the heart of our relationships, the heart of our home. And sometimes men they don't have as deep as the intuitive spiritual side that we have as women. And when you see these tactics that the enemy uses, you can speak against that spiritual attack for your partner. So I will share those with you at the end. All right, before we get into those three attacks, here are some core foundations to know. One of the most dangerous beliefs in the world today is that the devil is not real. And I hate to say it, but I used to lean towards this side. I don't know, actually, I do know why I thought this. It's because I never read the Bible. It's because I would go to church. I would, I was Christian since I was, I think, in fourth grade, but I didn't know Jesus, right? I would just kind of show up and label myself as a Christian. Once I started reading the Bible, once I started listening to sermons that taught from the Bible, that's when I thought, oh, the devil is very much real and he's alive and he has power in this world. And my eyes were open. I used to also be one of those people, uh, demonic forces are not real. Um, those sleep attacks, those aren't real, those are just nightmares. There's no demons that can possess people, take hold of their mind. I did not believe in any of that. I thought that those people were crazy. Now I'm probably the crazy one to other people. But it is because when I saw that I was in a spiritual attack myself, this was in 2024, I thought, all right, let's fight this battle because I cannot live with this anxiety. I cannot live with these attacks on my mind anymore. And I shared that spiritual battle in an episode called Spiritual Warfare, How to Win the Battle for Your Soul. Please, please, please listen to that episode if you have not already. I share my whole um journey of how I went from just being Christian to being on fire for God, craving Jesus, being so deep. Where now I have things like this podcast, I'm reading the Bible every day. Something switched for me in 2024 because I needed help. My mind was so under attack and Jesus saved my life yet again. So I talk about that whole spiritual battle and what I did to break the anxiety, what I did to break the insecurity, what I did to break that unworthiness and the heaviness that I felt in my mind. Spiritual warfare, how to win the battle for your soul. If you just type that on Spotify or Apple Music with the fruitful feminine, you'll find it. So the most dangerous belief is that the devil is not real. Why this is dangerous is because it keeps you from seeing the spiritual battle. It keeps you in this mode of, oh, I'm depressed because I'm eating junk food, which that can impact your brain. But there is also a spiritual force that wants to wreck havoc on your brain, that wants to come in and shake up your self-worth, shake up your happiness. Why? Because the enemy has come to steal, kill, and destroy, as the Bible says. And what is the enemy seeking to do when he goes and attacks your mind? He's seeking to steal your peace and your joy, fruits that come from the Holy Spirit, fruits that Jesus said, I'm leaving you with these gifts. When you accept me into your life, you also accept joy and peace into your life. If you do not feel joy and peace right now, most likely there is some spiritual attack that the enemy has on you. And we're gonna get more into that in this episode. And so even when life is crazy, even when there are chaotic moments, when you're super stressed, when breakups happen, when um where your living changes, when your physical environment feels threatened, there's still access to peace and joy that will not make sense when you are walking with the Lord. And what the enemy is very good at is stealing those fruits from you. And especially when you think that the devil is not walking around on this earth looking to come and destroy you, you won't see that a battle is happening and that keeps you stuck. Or you will blame it on the world, you will blame it on your stress, your situation, you will say, Oh, it's because I'm doom scrolling and my brain is rotted. That's why I'm depressed. That can be the case as well. That's another episode. But there is another spiritual battle that is almost always going on. And when you don't believe that it is, you also won't have the tools to know how to fight it. You cannot fight a spiritual battle with physical tools. No amount of journaling, no amount of inner work, even, will ever, no amount of therapy will ever be able to give you the relief and the win from the war that is on your mind when you are in a spiritual attack. Ephesians 6, 11 through 12. This is where it talks about that there actually is a spiritual attack happening on this world. So it's talking about having the whole armor of God. And in verse 12, Ephesians 6.12, it says, For we are not fighting against flesh and blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. That's a lot, right? What that verse is saying is that the devil is real, and we'll talk about where he originated from. He is actively fighting against God's precious, precious children to steal their life and to steal their peace. And notice how it says we're fighting against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against evil spirits in the heavenly places. They're spiritual attacks, and that is why we cannot always see them, but you will feel them. The devil loves to attack what glorifies God and what is walking with God. That is why marriage is so attacked in the world today. That is why purpose is so attacked in the world today. The devil is confusing our identities so much so that we don't know who we are, so that we don't live in the purpose God has called us. And I guarantee you, if you have ever done something that God has told you to do, whether it's start that business, whether it's begin reading the Bible, you will almost always be hit with a spiritual attack. For me, when I started reading the Bible every morning, I started to feel rushed, I started to feel anxious. Sometimes I would start dozing off, and I knew I must be doing something powerful if I'm being attacked. So that's uh that's that. How you know if you're walking with God, there's usually going to be an attack. And this is kind of sad to say, but we will always be facing the enemy as long as we are humans. Why? Because we are living in a fallen world. We are living in an imperfect world where sin exists and perfection cannot exist with that. We also have free will. And because our free will allows our flesh to make decisions, we have this flesh versus spirit battle. It's like, you know, when you have the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other shoulder, that is the spirit versus the flesh battle that is always going on. However, the good news, I'm not just gonna leave you with that. The good news is the Bible gives you the blueprint on how to fight the battle. And when you know how to fight the battle, when you know these tools, you look at battles and you go, I've already done this before. And I can see the tactics very well. Devil, bring it on because you're not a match for me. Truth is you're not a match for God. So the armor of God and how to fight those spiritual battles, that's in the spiritual warfare episode that I was mentioning. In 1 Peter 5 8, it describes the devil as a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. This is why you must stay on alert. This is why you must fill your mind with the word of God to know how to fight against this devouring lion. And if this is your first episode and you're like, what the heck is she talking about? I so get it, okay? This episode, I probably wouldn't have made this like two years ago, but it I'm so passionate about teaching this now because it is what has saved my mind. So maybe just keep this as a seed. Um, I know that it can be a lot. However, I also know that there's many of you who are actively going through a battle right now and you need these tools. So keep this as a seed if it's feeling like a lot. And I've got other episodes that may be a bit lighter too. All right, so it's dangerous to not believe that the devil is real. What is even more dangerous, actually, in 2 Corinthians 11, 14 through 15, it mentions that Satan can disguise himself as an angel of light. And when I was reading this, I thought, what does this remind me of? New age philosophies. They are disguised as light. Things like ayahuasca, and I'm not hating on the new age community, okay? But these false tools disguise themselves as lights. Um, I think there's even like light work or light medicine, terms like that. The Bible says be careful of false, um, false senses of restoration and light because that's not rooted in God. And if it's not rooted in God, it's rooted in the enemy. And the enemy does not care about humans. He hates humans, he hates God's creation. And what he will do, he's very good at this, is disguising himself as this is good for you. This is light. Take this ayahuasca, take these mushrooms. You can free your mind, you can feel relaxed, you can heal your trauma, but it will come to hurt you later because you open the doors to those evil rulers and evil spirits that God said they walk on the earth, here's how to fight against them. But when we do things that open these doors, like new age tools and philosophies, that gives the enemy what is called a stronghold, which is when he has almost, you know, when you're rock climbing and you can you grip one of those really solid rocks, not one of the little ones that you'll grab and fall off of, but you grip one of the really solid rocks and you can pull yourself up. As soon as you open up the door to any of these light disguised tools of the world, tarot cards, psychics, um, fortune tellers, astrology, when you open up those doors, it gives the enemy a stronghold in the form of that rock-climbing rock where he can now grip your mind and he has you and he can play with you and use you for his will. So, in the beginning, it will feel good and healthy and fun and light, but even that type of light is false. So there's also religions where some of the people in the religion have seen what they think are angels of light. And the Bible is very clear, not everything that looks like light is actually light. So that's even more dangerous, is Satan disguising himself as light. When you know the word, you will see something that's in disguise and your body will be repelled by it. You will know immediately this is not from God. Um, sometimes I've had this watching certain videos where someone will say, Yeah, I I believe in God. And then they start speaking, and I think something is not sitting right in my spirit. And then they go on to say something like, God, source, universe, and I think, all right, that is why it was not sitting right with me. So knowing the word of God can help equip you to know the difference between light and darkness, being disguised as light. So who is doing these attacks? Is there actually someone with the devil horns walking around doing these attacks? So the origin story of how Satan came to be. He was an angel in heaven with God. However, he was very jealous of the power that God had. He wanted God's power, and so he became rebellious and he tried to get together these angels to go against God so that he could have more power than God. And God kicked him out of heaven. He said, absolutely not. And the problem, even as I'm saying this, is when the creation wants to take the power of the creator, that's when there's a problem. That is why things like the law of attraction, and this one it could be a whole other episode because the law of attraction, the principles of manifestation, these principles of visualizing, having faith, your faith being the eps the evidence, and your evidence being the substance of what you hope for. The faith and the hope in the visualizing of what you desire, these are all principles that are talked about in the Bible. However, the new age philosophies have today have taken these principles, twisted them a bit, and now they're still disguised as light. And so, what the problem is with this is the creation is now being worshipped instead of the creator. And God hates this. He's such a jealous God. He said, I created you to be my children. And when you start worshiping what I created, it's disrespectful. That is how he's feeling. That is what he designed us to do. And so when Satan, the creation, wanted to be worshipped, that's when there was a problem. And so God kicked Lucifer out of heaven, and in Revelations 12, it actually talks about this. Uh, let me go to it real quick. Let's see. This is Revelations 12, verses 4, and it says, Um, I s this is John. So John is the one who wrote Revelations, and this is both a summary of before the world and humans were existed, and also a prophecy of what will happen in the end times when Jesus comes back and he takes the believers up with him, what will happen when Satan is ultimately defeated? The good news is Satan, his defeat is already sealed. He knows he's going to be defeated by Jesus in the end. That is why he is so hungry to steal, kill, and destroy, because his time is limited. And so when John is talking about the events in heaven, or the events, yeah, the events in heaven before the world was created, it says, Then I witnessed in heaven another significant event. This is Revelation 12, verse 3. I saw a large red dragon with seven heads and ten horns, with seven crowns on his head. His tail swept away one third of the stars in the sky, and he threw them to the earth. Then there was a war in heaven. This is jumping down to verse 7. Michael and his angel fought against the dragon and his angels, and the dragon lost the battle. And he and his angels were forced out of heaven. This great dragon, the ancient serpent, called the devil, or Satan, the one deceiving the whole world, was thrown down to the earth with all his angels. This is how the world became broken. And so one of the biggest questions is why does God allow bad things to happen, especially to good people? Why is there suffering in the world? There is suffering in the world because Satan was thrown down to the earth with all his angels. Therefore, sin exists. And the moment that in the Garden of Eden, when Adam and Eve's eyes were opened, when they ate the fruit that from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, God says, Do not eat this fruit. He did not want their eyes to be opened. He did not want them to be exposed to this spiritual darkness that was on earth. But as soon as they ate the fruit, their eyes were opened, and that is when they became exposed to sin. They were no longer protected by almost that ignorance, almost their eyes being closed, that Satan was walking on the earth. So this is why sin and brokenness and suffering exists. So earlier in Revelations, when it says that his tail swept away one-third of the stars in the sky and he threw them to earth, there's a lot of different um, what's the word that I'm looking for? Not translations, but there's a lot of different ways that people look at this. Some people look at this and say, that is why there are false gods today in other religions, because the gods of these religions are some of the fallen angels that came with Satan. Some people think that even in Greek mythology, that Zeus and all those gods, they think yes, those gods were real, but they were fallen angels. There's so many different ideas and translations about what this looks like. Um, however, what I will say is that it's not just Satan. He has an army of demonic forces that are attacking humans. And they specifically attack women in three ways, which we'll talk about now. So the three attacks on women. Number one is lack, number two is perfectionism, number three, unworthiness. For each of these, I'm going to be talking about why Satan attacks women here, what these attacks look like in our modern day world, what you can do to fight these attacks. So, number one, beginning with lack. So that story that I just told about Adam and Eve in Genesis, remember last week when we're talking about creating a healthy relationship with food? And I said, Isn't it very interesting that the first temptation in the Bible has to do with food? It's almost like the enemy knew that this was an area of weakness for us, that this was an area that could be used to hurt humans, even. Well, what does what does Lucifer whisper to Eve? So it's just Eve and the snake, Lucifer in the garden. I don't know where Adam is. Um, but we're missing that masculine energy protection, right? If only he was there. Eve is exposed to the serpent in the garden. And the serpent says to Eve, Why don't you eat this fruit? And Eve goes, Oh, because God told us we can eat all the fruit in the garden, but he told us don't eat fruit from this one tree, the tree of knowledge of good and evil. And Satan goes, or also Eve goes, um, if we do, we will die. And Satan goes, You won't die. God knows that your eyes Will be opened. That's why he doesn't want you to eat it. He tempts Eve with what? Lack. And the the part that is, oh, it makes me so frustrated. Adam and Eve had everything that they could want. Okay, I think this is many of our soft life dreams. They literally lived in the most luscious garden. They could go and pick any fruit off of the trees except for that one tree. They had all the endless food, all the endless time together. Imagine if they could just sit and be in love and just hang out with God all day, play with the animals all day. But they had to eat this one piece of fruit. They had complete abundance. And what I love looking at this story and being frustrated is knowing that God is saying the same thing to me. Alexis, you have complete abundance. When you focus on what you don't have, you are tossing all those pieces of fruit on the trees. You're tossing that gorgeous waterfall to the side. You're tossing all the relationships that I've given you to the side, and you're saying, but God, I don't have this. And it's a tree. It's it's like a piece of dust compared to everything else that God has given us. Satan is so good at distorting things to make you think that the lack is better than what you have. It's not. Just ask Eve. Sometimes what we are missing is the very thing that will hurt us. And actually, before we go to this point, real quick, when Eve ate, and when Eve ate the fruit and gave it to Adam to eat, and their eyes were opened, and God he comes and he goes, Where are you? Adam and Eve were hiding because instantly they felt shame. Instantly they look down and they're like, We're naked, we feel ashamed, we need to cover ourselves. Who told them? When God comes, he goes, Who told you that you were naked? He knew that they're that they had eaten the fruit because their eyes were opened to levels of consciousness, seeing things that they were never supposed to see. That is the problem too when we're talking about um earlier forms of helpful tools disguised as light. When you're when you open up parts of your mind that were never supposed to be opened, there's harm that comes to you. And God is not saying, don't do these things, uh, like psychic readings or ayahuasca, for example. He's not saying don't do these things because I'm a strict dad. He's saying, don't do these things because I love you. I created you, and I know how how much these will harm you if you are to do them. And so Adam and Eve felt shame. They suddenly struggled living off the land. Childbirth became very painful. All this suffering entered when their eyes were opened. What we are so focused on lacking, that is the very thing that could actually end up hurting us. There was a time where I was praying, God, please, I want a relationship so bad. I was crying in the back of one of my friend's cars. I was watching her and her boyfriend up at the front, and this is when I was 20 years old, and I just remember thinking, God, I want to be in love so bad. I've never had a relationship before. I'm seeing this beautiful couple in front of me, and I want it so bad. And I just felt so emotional. And I was also celebrating my birthday that weekend, and I just I remember feeling like, ah, I'm lacking love so much. Well, I prayed and prayed, and I got into a relationship the very next month, and that relationship brought so much, it brought a lot of beauty, but it brought a lot of pain to my life that I was never supposed to experience because I was so focused on I don't have this, I don't have this. I had it, and it ended up hurting me. Sometimes the very thing you lack, it is what it's what is keeping you, it's it's what is going to hurt you. But we think when we have it, we'll feel safe or we'll feel better. If I had not been in that relationship, and I do know that everything works out exactly how it's supposed to, but if I had not been in that relationship, I imagine that I could have gotten started on my purpose earlier. I could have started my businesses earlier, I could have spent more time with God in that season. I had so much abundance around me already, but I was so focused on God, my love life. And that's what ended up hurting me. And so, ways that we think that we are lacking when we don't have that relationship, and sometimes you can even be in a relationship and still feel lack. Sometimes I'll speak with some of my clients and they say, But Alexis, I see these women on social media who their partner is flying them all around the world and filling their rooms with roses. And I say, but look at how incredible your partner is. He is so loyal, he is so trustworthy, he provides you emotional intelligence, you feel so physically safe with him. He honors your body, he cares about your mind, he treasures your heart, all these qualities that make him so such a great partner for you. But you look at social media and compare. And guess what? I've seen this so much, especially living in Dubai. The women who are showing all these things that their provider partners are doing, sometimes these are the worst men to ever exist and treat them so poorly. Never compare yourself to what you see because it's most likely not real. And I think especially within relationships, and I even talk about this on my channel, how important it is to be with a man that is a provider. But a provider is not always providing a hundred percent financially. Sometimes men, they're still in their building season, but it doesn't mean that they're not a great man. But we look at that one part of him, oh, but this doesn't match what I see on social media, but he's still an incredible man, especially a man of God. You have to ask, what would feel good for me? What if there's a man that you meet that you end up making more than him, but you say, uh, I don't like this. But all the other abundant qualities we toss to the side. And so a man does get to provide. It's such an honor for him to provide. Look at the ways that if you are in a relationship your current partner is providing and fall in love with that. Okay, that could be a whole other video, right? Um, friends. Sometimes we compare this person has a lot of friends. How come it's so hard for me to make friends? Family. Oh, this person is so close with their family. I wish that I had that. I used to do this all the time. I would say, I wish that I had that type of relationship with my parents when I would see it on TV or see it on social media. But then I think because I did not have that relationship, I felt so broken and hurt that it forced me to do inner work to heal that parent wound. And that massively played into creating my business. And so maybe God was looking like, yes, I could have given you the perfect family and perfect upbringing, but you wouldn't have your purpose. And I will always take my perfect my purpose over the perfect upbringing. Sometimes followers, we think, oh, if I just had more followers. I tell this to my business students all the time. I say it's such a misconception that more followers equals more success in your business. No, it's how well you nurture your current followers. It's a shame that we look at followers as numbers sometimes. But if you fill up your room, let's say that you have a YouTube channel and you have 36 subscribers and you're like, that's nothing. I don't even have a hundred. Okay, take all those 36 people and put them in your home. Would you even have enough room to hold them? Imagine hugging each of them, looking them in the eye. These are 36 people that said, I want to learn from your channel. I like your energy. I want to learn more from you. That is abundance. You just have to switch your perspective. Sometimes we feel our body is lacking in this proportion, our face, facial features are lacking in this proportion, my lips aren't big enough, my eyebrows aren't full enough, I have too much of this, not enough of that, lack. What do you do to fight against lack? Do not compare and do not covet. When I was reading Exodus, I was actually, I had to sit down and think, okay, this is an actual commandment. I did not realize this. In Exodus 20, verse 17, God instructs the Israelites, you must not covet your neighbor's house. You must not covet your neighbor's wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor. If we flip that into modern day terms, you must not covet other people's partners, other people's lives, other people's businesses, travel experiences, friendships, wardrobe experiences, whatever it is. When God gives a commandment like this, you know that He knows something we don't. So being conscious of when you're comparing, remembering that it's actually a commandment. And next is having gratitude. Looking at the things that you do have, reminding yourself, I am living in an answered prayer right now. Something so simple. Um, I did this a couple weeks ago when I got my period. I went through a really stressful time a couple months, two, one to two months ago. And so I thought my period is definitely gonna be late, my cycle's gonna be off. My period came perfectly on time. And I thought, womb, I'm so grateful for you. Uterus, great job. It's celebrating the small wins, like that, celebrating the things that do go right. God, thank you for waking me up today. When I wake up in the morning, I stretch, I look at Gus, I'm like, thank you, God, that I'm alive today. Thank you, that I can go run if I want, I can go cook, I can do anything that I desire, anything that I dream of. Thank you for social media, that I have access to the whole world that I can learn and grow anytime that I want. And it's also trusting in God. That is how you combat lack. It's trusting that I desire this, I don't have it. God, your timeline is better. God, you know something that I don't. And I trust you. It's having that mindset. So that's number one is lack. Number two, how does Satan attack women? Perfectionism. This is a huge, huge one that we are about to talk about. There's a story that I love because it really speaks to me. And if you're a type A oldest daughter, struggle with OCD, anything like that, okay, I'm pulling you in closer, okay? Martha's story in the Bible. This is in Luke 10, starting with verse 38. So Jesus is going to visit two women, their sisters named Mary and Martha. And so the story reads As Jesus and the disciples continued their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister Mary sat at the Lord's feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. I have she highlighted in my Bible. She came to Jesus and said, Lord, doesn't it seem unfair to you that my sister sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me. But the Lord said to her, My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details. There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it and it will not be taken away from her. Ah, I love it. It's such a short and powerful story. How many of you see yourself as Martha?

unknown 34:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 34:43

Glowgirls unite. So why I love this story is because it breaks off OCD and perfectionism so well. Why Satan uses perfectionism against women is because if he can get you distracted, he can keep you from sitting at Jesus' feet. If he can make you feel that you're not worthy unless the house is perfectly clean, unless your hair is perfectly done, unless your skin is flawless, if he can only get you to feel worthy when everything is going right, you have lost one of the greatest gifts that God has given, which is an identity of unshakable confidence and self-worth, no matter what is going on in the exterior. Satan will take that from you if you let him. And perfectionism steals peace. Because when you're always doing the to-do list, chores, moving very fast, I always have more to do, you will never be at peace. There will always be something occupying your mind, and this also keeps you disconnected from your body. And being in your body, being in your feminine energy is such a gift. That is where you your best ideas will come from. That is where your intuition is, that is where your connection to the Holy Spirit is when you are connected to your body. When you're living in your head, you will be disconnected from that peace. The most valuable use of time. So Jesus says there's only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has found it. What does that look like? Dropping things and spending time with God, crying with Him. And I think this is really hard for perfectionists, is the struggle to hold it all together. This has broken off from me thanks to praying and fasting. I used to be nervous to cry with God. I would notice I would feel emotional and then the tears wouldn't come. And I'm like, why can I not be vulnerable with my heavenly father? And I just had to sit one day and be like, Jesus, please help me. I can't cry with you. I can't let this out. And I know that I need to release. And suddenly I just felt it was safe for me to cry. Maybe he would guide you onto a certain worship song to listen to. Maybe he hints to you, hey, write about this in your journal. And that's when the tears start coming. Pray and ask God, can you just hold me right now? Can you make it safe for me to cry? Jesus says, Ask for anything in my name, and it will be given unto you. You have the power to ask Jesus for help. And when you are a perfectionist, you're carrying the whole world on your shoulders. And you toss Jesus to the side and go, I've got it. And he's going, Do you? With all the love, of course. But ask for help from Jesus. That is how you break perfectionism. And I also love that there's little hints of wisdom and gold in the Bible like this. What is the mo what is the most precious use of your time? Does the Bible say the best way to use your time is? No, it will say the one thing worth being concerned about, Mary has found it. And then you go back and see she was sitting at the feet of Jesus. No relationship, even no working on your business, no travel experience will ever come close to the satisfaction of sitting with Jesus and feeling the Holy Spirit come over you. You will usually feel goosebumps when you feel the Holy Spirit. There's times where my friends and I, when we are singing at church and we turn to each other, like, did you guys feel that? The whole atmosphere of the room shifts. And it is sensational. It is such a beautiful feeling. It's like the ultimate feeling of joy and peace. I think, um, not to get too graphic here, but I think this is what people using drugs are looking for. They're looking for this feeling of heightened joy and peace and freedom that can only be found in Jesus. Let's talk about OCD for a minute. I did not realize that um I had OCD-like tendencies until I was listening to a podcast episode. The podcast episode was excellent. It was from the Girls Gone Bible podcast, and it was titled OCD. And you can watch it on YouTube. I think that was the first podcast episode from them that I had ever watched, and I was like, oh my gosh, this is me. And I didn't realize that it was bad. So um OCD when it's obsessive-compulsive disorder. I didn't realize that OCD can also be with thoughts in your mind. If you've ever, okay, this is a small example, but if you've ever walked in a certain way on a sidewalk where you try not to step on any cracks, or you think, um, I need to hurry this task before it's noon because if I don't finish it by noon, something will happen to me. It's a compulsive sensation of always racing in your mind. And most people think OCD is just with germs or organization, but it's also in your mind too. OCD, it's a very false sense of control. You can never obsessively, compulsively organize your life or your thoughts. You never can. So that false sense of control is rooted in perfectionism. And one day, my friends they were over at my house, and when they were getting ready to leave, they were arranging the pillows, they were folding the blankets, and I have the best, best friends in the world. I just love them. They're so kind and respectful. At this time, when I saw them rearranging everything in my house to look nice as they were leaving, I got this pit in my stomach, like, no. What have I done to make them think that they need to leave my house looking perfect? And I told them, guys, please, you do not need to fix anything. I love having you here. It's fine like this. That's when I realized I had a problem because something in me is rearranging everything to always be in order. And when I saw my friends doing this, I was like, okay, something needs to change. And I had shared this with my friends. This was maybe a year ago, a year and a half ago, and I had shared, guys, I'm really trying to stop this obsessive organization of my thoughts and of my life. Like, even I told them when we're having a Bible study, I said, I hate to say this, but I'm even checking the clock to make sure that, okay, let's finish this up so that I can go to bed on time, get eight hours of sleep, so that I am efficient with work tomorrow, so that my mood is good for YouTube and coaching. I was like, I am so anxious living in the future all the time. And I told them I need help because I I know that this is not a free way to live. I don't feel peace. And one of my friends, she has the gift of prophecy, and it's beautiful. And all my friends are praying for me, and my friend she speaks to me and she goes, I don't know why, but I'm seeing a water bottle being arranged, and God is telling you to stop it and just let it sit. And I start crying. I knew exactly what she was telling me or what God was trying to tell me through her. When even I'm looking at my plant right now, if it's not in the perfect center of my table, I will feel a need to fix it. I will feel that I can't rest until everything is clean. And so I told my friends about this, and my friend was like, Yeah, I don't know why, but I just saw a water bottle getting arranged. And that's when I told them, yeah, unless everything feels perfect, I don't feel at peace. And my friends have really helped to break this off of me. And they one of my friends, she's amazing. She goes, I'm so proud of you. Like you're out late and you're not even stressed about the time, and you're you didn't come thinking, all right, I'm gonna leave by this time, I'm gonna have an exit plan in place. Friendships have been so healing for me for this reason. And that's why I love I think it's Proverbs 27:9. It says, Sweet friendships refresh the soul and awaken our hearts with joy. For a good friend is like the anointing oil that yields the fragrant incense of God's presence. Friends refresh us, they awaken our hearts with joy, and they carry, what does it say? It says the the anointing oil fragrance of God. It's like a taste of God's peace and his love when you have friends who are loved by God and love you the way God loves them. I do have an episode on friendships, I'm pretty sure. If not an episode, I have a YouTube video about friendships. And if you feel I want these friends, what qualities do I look for? Where do I go and meet them? That would be a great episode for you. Okay, so um solution. Sit in the mess. That is a thing that is if your heart's racing, I'm giving you a hug through the podcast, okay? Sit in the mess. A very practical example of this is when I realized I had a problem. I would cook my breakfast, and before I would sit down to eat, I would clean up all the dishes, I would wipe off the counter. My kitchen had to be done and like ready to go before I felt ready to eat. And then my food was cold and I was like, ah, I'm stressed. I would let the dishes sit and I would eat. The first few times I did this, I was eating very fast. I'm like, oh, you can't even enjoy this. I don't have an appetite. But I had to learn to sit in the mess. Another solution, expose imperfection. What I mean by this, so an actual example for me. One time I I uploaded a YouTube video and I forgot to edit one of the transitions. And one of the sweet Glowgirls comments, Oh, Alexis, it's so cute to see your mess up in the video. I was like, what? Where did I leave this in? And my heart was racing. And then I go and I'm like, what if I just left it? I don't have to be perfect. And one of the comments to that girl's or to that woman's comment was, it's nice to see that Alexis still messes up. And I was like, oh my gosh, I cannot believe that I've been seeking perfectionism so much, even in my business. And I think it's important to get to the root of why this is. God told me this in the craziest way because I could not figure it out until about three to four weeks ago. So the war that was happening here in Dubai, every day I was hearing drones, I was hearing missiles, fighter jets, and I was constantly in fight or flight. And because my neighborhood was hit, anytime I hear a drone or a fighter jet go by, I panic because I'm like, oh my gosh, is it gonna be my place next? So, anyways, I'm going to plug in my lamp. And this was uh maybe three or four weeks ago. I'm going to plug in my lamp, and as I'm going to plug it in, I hear a fighter jet fly by my apartment. My heart races. And because of um things that I have seen in the building that was hit, I can't, I just immediately visualized that it was happening to me. So, anyways, I hear the fighter jet go by, my body feels numb. At that moment, I start untangling the cord. So I have um an outlet that my I have these grounding sheets and I plug my sheets into the outlet every night, but I also use it for my lamp. My grounding sheets, they're very um, very wound up, like very messy. After I hear the fighter jet go by, I start untangling the cord and I pause and I feel God say, This is why you have perfectionism. And it clicked for me. I was like, oh my gosh. And it took me back to when I was a kid, when I felt very scared, very out of control. When I saw violence in my home, what did I do to cope? I would go and fix something. I would rearrange my room, I would untangle jewelry, I would do things that could make something perfect because I felt my home was not. And it clicked, and I start crying. I'm like, oh my gosh, Alexis, I just want to give you the biggest hug to my inner child. So pray for God to reveal to you the root of any of these areas, such as lack or perfectionism. And yes, so let your perfection or let your imperfections be exposed, sit in your messes, and also play before you work. This is a hard thing for me. To play with my dog before I start on my work, I would always have this thing: no, I have to work before I play. Says who? Start doing those things out of order and you'll start to break off perfectionism. Okay, last one here is unworthiness. This is a huge area that Satan attacks women. We're gonna go to John 4. And I think I've talked about this story in every episode. I'm sorry if you have heard it for the millionth time and you're like, Alexis, I can read the story myself at this point. But this story, it is the ultimate story on worthiness, in my opinion, in the Bible. So Jesus goes to meet a woman at the well, not just any woman, a Samaritan woman. Jews at this time did not associate with Samaritans. Samaritans were the sinners, they were the rule breakers, they were um, they thought God did not love them or value them the same. And so for Jesus to be talking to a Samaritan woman meant a lot at this time. So this woman that he's speaking to, she has been with a lot of men. And at this time, it was extremely shameful to um have sex outside of marriage. It was extremely shameful to live with a man that you weren't married to. And so she is living in sin, yet Jesus still comes and speaks to her. Because she um is living this life of sin, she has to go and get water from the well at the hottest time of the day. She can't go in the morning when the other women go because they will make fun of her, they will exclude her. They were so mean to her. So she's drawing water from the well, Jesus goes and he meets her. And we're gonna um pick up from here. This is John 4, verse 7. Soon a Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, Please give me a drink. I love him. Imagine Jesus just coming. Can you please give me a drink? Please give me a drink. He was alone at the time because his disciples had gone into the village to buy some food. The woman was surprised, for Jews refused to have anything to do with Samaritans. She said to Jesus, You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan woman. Why are you asking me for a drink? Jesus replied, If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water. But, sir, you don't have a rope or a bucket, she said, and this well is very deep. Where would you get this living water? And besides, do you think that you're greater than our ancestor Jacob who gave us this well? How can you offer better water than he and his sons and the animals enjoyed? Jesus replied, Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again, but those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life. Please, sir, the woman said, Give me this water, then I'll never be thirsty again, and I won't have to come here to get water. Go and get your husband, Jesus told her. I don't have a husband, the woman replied. Jesus said, You're right, you don't have a husband, for you have had five husbands, and you aren't even married to the man you're living with now. You certainly spoke the truth. Sir, the woman said, You must be a prophet. So tell me, why is it? And then she goes on to have another side conversation. Then the woman said, This is verse 25, I know the Messiah is coming, the one who is called Christ. When he comes, he will explain everything to us. Then Jesus told her, I am the Messiah. This is the first time that Jesus says those words, and he chooses to say it to a woman who is living in so much sin, who feels so unworthy. And also, this is the longest recorded conversation in the Bible that Jesus had with anyone. Love that it's a woman. He's such a girl, Dad. So he tells her, I'm the Messiah. Just then the disciples came back. They were shocked to find him talking to a woman, but none of them had the nerve to ask. The woman left her water jar beside the well and ran back to the village, telling everyone, come and see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could he possibly be the messiah? He changed that woman's life. Forever she was touched by this living water. And why he says, if you drink this water from the well, you'll always be thirsty. He's saying that if you consume from the world, if you get validation from the world, if you seek love from the world, from men, you will always be thirsty. The only way to quench that thirst is to run to me. This is what Jesus is saying. To live a life of intimacy with me. Seek to know me, seek to be filled by me, seek to be loved on by me, and you'll never be thirsty again. It is mind-blowing how much the more I have sought after Jesus, the less my appetite for the world grows, the less my appetite for materialism grows, the less my appetite for validation grows. It's like I don't care about anything that I used to care about years ago. And I need to do an episode on materialism because I think there's a difference in being filled by materialism versus playing with it. I still love fashion. I love shopping. I love traveling and seeing the world. However, it's different than the way that I was years ago. I'm just content. It doesn't fill me the way that I used to because I've tasted what it feels like to be filled by Jesus. And then when I taste something like shopping, it doesn't compare. And so this story on worthiness, Jesus tells us how to feel worthy. It's to run to him. You'll never feel worthy trying to get love or validation from the world. Why does Satan use unworthiness specifically? Because if he can get you to feel unworthy, you will number one hide from God because you feel, I'm so sinful, I'm so shameful, I know better, but I still fell into this sin. If God knew my past, dot, dot, dot. And then you think, I don't want to go near him. I don't want to see these things myself. I don't want him to see me, so I'm just gonna hide from him. Why would he want to see me? I'm a sinner. That's the biggest lie that the enemy will tell you. The Bible says, I will blot out your sins for my own sake, and I will never think of them again. I'm pretty sure that's in Isaiah where God says this. God wants your hearts. God doesn't like sin, but it doesn't mean he doesn't like you because you sin. I love this quote, and it's it's kind of a random quote, but it says, when a friend makes a mistake, the friend remains a friend, and the mistake remains a mistake. I believe that's Simon Sinek who says that. And I loved, loved that quote. That's how it is with God and with us. When we sin, the sin remains a sin, and we remain the daughter of the Lord. So number one, Satan can make us feel unworthy so that we'll hide from God because he knows when you run to your father, he does not have a chance. He does not have a hold on you. And number two, it will keep you saying no to your purpose and your calling. Who am I to be a coach? Who am I to write this book? Who am I to ask for a raise at work? Who am I to set these standards in my relationship? Who am I to follow this mission and this purpose that God has given me? Who am I to start sharing about God? I'm a sinner myself. And the good thing is, the entire Bible is a love story on our worth in God's eyes. Satan uses limiting beliefs from our upbringings. He will use things like, oh, but you were traumatized, or you went through this, or you did this in the past, or you saw this with your parents. How could you ever be any better? How could you surpass your family here? He uses limiting beliefs from your upbringing. He will use fear, he will use doubt, he will use embarrassment, he will use judgment to keep you feeling unworthy. You must know what fruits of the spirit are. Fruits of the spirit, love, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness. I may be missing one. If you are being filled with feelings and thoughts that are not any of those fruits that I just mentioned, those are thorns of the enemy. Fear, anxiety, embarrassment, judgment. If that's a thorn from the enemy, it means that it does not belong in your body. Your body is a beautiful garden. You must cut those weeds down. Something that I started to realize is wait a second, I'm letting these weeds grow. I have a choice. God tells us to capture your thoughts and surrender them to Christ. He tells us this in 2 Corinthians 10, 5. What does it mean to capture your thoughts and surrender them to Christ? It means to capture a thought, to be conscious of a thought. I'm okay, we'll use an example that I had. I'm too young to be a coach. This is my fear a couple years ago. I take that thought and I surrender it to Christ. What does it mean to surrender it to Christ? It means to give it to Christ, to put it through the filter of the Bible and see, is this the truth? So if I take that thought captive, I'm too young to be a coach, and I surrender it, I compare it to scripture. Well, 1 Timothy 4 12 says, Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young. Okay, that thought does not match the truth. It's gotta go. Cut that we down and let it go. Maybe another example is I'm not beautiful enough. Capture that thought, compare it to the word of God. Psalm 139 says, I am wonderfully and marvelously made. Does I'm not beautiful enough match that? Absolutely not. Get it out of your mind. I love to say out loud and in my mind, Satan, get out of here. Get out of here with that thought. I've worked way too hard to invest and protect my mind. You don't get to have property here. And one thing that Satan does is he will so cleverly make himself the judge that you report to. You're not reporting to him. We talked about this in last week's episode where I gave the analogy of the voice and how when a singer is on stage and the three judges are in the chair and they press the button if they like the singer's voice to turn around. Satan makes you think that he's one of those judges and you're singing, you're trying to get his approval, you're trying to get the world's approval. Please press the button and like me, validate me. Okay, he gets kicked out of that chair. He gets thrown out of the auditorium. Have the security take him out of that room so that you can just sing and have the purpose that God has given you without any of Satan or his army's interference. So Satan will make you prove yourself to him and to the world. He will make you think he is the one that you must answer to. He will make you think social media followers is the one that will decide if you're worthy. That the partners that you have will decide if you're worthy. If you are trying to prove yourself to him or the world, you'll always lose. There's only one that you are trying to prove yourself to, and actually you're not even trying to prove yourself to him anymore because he sent his son, he sent his baby boy to die for you because he loved you. When Jesus died on the cross, you were given freedom. You were given eternal life if you accept Jesus into your life. You are not you're no longer trying to prove yourself to him. You are given the gift of Jesus, of a relationship with God, of peace, of joy, of eternal life, even while we are sinners. There's a scripture that says, even while we were sinners, Christ died for us. That's the thing that is opposite to the world's ways. We cannot earn grace. We cannot earn anything from God. And because we are God's children, when you think about a mother that's raising a toddler, for example, if that toddler, I've used this example before, if that toddler learns to stand and walk for the first time, and then the next time the toddler tries, it falls down. Are you, as the mother of that toddler, going to be like, come on, I can't believe that you fell? Or you're not you're not enough to be my child because you didn't walk perfectly. No, that is how God is with us. He knows that we're going to fall, and we're not trying to prove that we are enough to be his child. We're already called his children. So compare the unworthy thoughts with truth, and that is how you will fight unworthiness. And just let God hold you in unworthiness. Whenever I sin or mess up, I always want to run and hide and distract. And I've had to actively sit. Sometimes I'll turn on a worship song and I'll just pray, God, can you just hold me? Okay, so to sum these up, the three attacks on women: lack, perfectionism, and unworthiness. What are the three attacks on men? This is gonna be really, really short because maybe with my husband one day we'll make an episode on this, okay? God, did you hear that? Okay, three attacks on men. Lust, worth, and power. And why this is so, so, so critical to know is because when a man is led astray, his whole household is led astray. A man is the head of the household. He is the leader, he is a masculine energy. When lust, worth, and power start tempting him and pulling him and distracting him, the whole family, his wife, his children, his future generations, they're getting pulled right with him. And so, why I say these three is I'm thinking, what are the ways that Satan tempts men? And I think about the story in Matthew 4 when Satan is tempting Jesus. How does Satan tempt Jesus? Jesus had been fasting for 40 days, 40 nights, no food, no water. God bless him. Um, and Satan, the very first thing that he says to Jesus, they're out in the wilderness, and Jesus is there, Satan is there, Satan is trying to break Jesus in this moment. And he says, if you are really the son of God, and notice how he goes, if you're really who you say you are, if you're really the Messiah, he's poking doubt in his identity. He chose the wrong man to try to do that with. If you're really who you say you are, turn these stones into loaves of bread. Satan is messed up for this, okay? He knows Jesus is hungry, he's playing on his flesh. If you look at this and then you look at how men are attacked by the enemy, Satan tempts their flesh. How does he do this? Very strongly with lust. Look at all of the lust in the world today. Look at all of the unfaithfulness. There is an agenda of open marriages, unfaithfulness being pushed. But the word of God says a marriage is a covenant, and neither the husband or the wife is to step out of that covenant. Lust is pushed on men because, and Paul even talks about this. He goes, You should run from sexual immorality because it is a sin against your own body. When we give into our flesh and we fill our flesh and we have these spiritual, physical exchanges, it hurts our body. It hurts our future partners, and especially if there's cheating involved, it hurts the current partner. It breaks that covenant. Lust distracts men from their purpose and from their calling, and it weakens them, it makes them led by the flesh instead of the spirit. And whichever one you feed more is what you will be led by. And giving into lush or to lust massively, massively fills the flesh. So I was just thinking of it. Um lust, number two is worth. And for men, it's more of you're not enough. And so he will make men think that they are not enough. And he does this so much in the world. Um, if you don't make enough money, if you're not tall enough. If you're not fit enough, if you're not emotionally intelligent enough, you're not enough for a woman. Satan massively attacks men. And why does he do this? Because if men don't feel worthy, they will never step into their masculine energy and lead their family. Now we have all these men that are scared to pursue women. They're scared of getting rejected. Men were not built to be scared of rejection. But they're DMing, and nothing wrong with DMing women, actually, but they're they're preferring to DM women over go up to a woman in person. They're not they're not as bold to just go up and pursue anymore. And I think there's faults on both sides for this, of course, but they've lost that boldness a lot because their self-worth has dropped. Satan has massively attacked this area to make men fear rejection. And when men don't feel worthy to pursue, now we don't have the marriages and relationships and love and strength in this world that we need. Jesus says, men don't live by bread alone. Then Satan says, okay, jump off this cliff and order your angels to protect you. If you're the Messiah, you you get to command the army of angels, right? And Jesus goes, but the scripture also says you must not test the Lord your God. You remember earlier how I said Satan will disguise himself as an angel of light? How does he do this? Using scripture against you. Oh, but the Bible says that the Bible says that money is, or what does it say about money? It doesn't say money is evil, but it says greed is evil. And so Satan will say, stay broke, have a poverty mindset. Um it's okay to just be lazy, don't try to build or seek success, because greed is bad. Uh, but the Bible also says that laziness equals poverty, and God's blessings come with abundance. And it's not money that is bad, it's the love of money, it's the greed that is bad. So you must know scripture because Satan will also use it against you to keep you disabled. So then Satan says, This is the last way he tempts Jesus. If you bow down before me, all these kingdoms in the land that you see will be yours. Lucifer, he is very original with his tricks. He wants to be worshipped, he wants to be God so bad. That is why God hates idolatry, because anything that we idolize over God that we worship instead of God, that is Satan winning and going, Now I'm playing God, now I have power. That's why God tells us, do not put anything above me. So Jesus knows this and he goes, You must only worship one God. I only worship my father. And he tells Satan, get out of here, and he leaves. And so, what does that have to do with power? Power is that third way that I think the enemy attacks men. Power is a false way to be in control and to play God. And I think I can't understand this as a woman, but I think power is to men what maybe beauty or vanity or um desire is to a woman. Men crave power because it's, and there's nothing wrong with a healthy amount of power, leading with that boldness and courage rooted in the power of God. But when it's power because of yourself, that's where it becomes dangerous. And so we see the enemy attacks Jesus, tempting him with power, which made me think, I think the enemy does this to men. When men seek power more than they seek God, they're out of balance and they will always be headed towards destruction. It's like jumping and running towards a cliff. Seeking power is dangerous because power can corrupt, power can blind you, power can make you do things that the Lord would never want you to do. Power distorts wisdom and it fogs you with anger, with control, with obsession, and it takes a man away from his calling. What's even more powerful is to follow the purpose that God has given. And that's usually a different form of power. It's not power over influence and control, it's power through impact. So power through control and influence in the world, that can tend to be dangerous, and Satan likes to use that. But God's power through a man to make an impact in the world is what is healthy. So hopefully one day I'll come back and we'll touch on this episode a bit more, but we'll have a man's point of view. I cannot wait to make those episodes in the future. Um, anyways, ladies, I've loved chatting with you today. I hope that this episode has helped you so, so, so much. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for all of your ratings. I was looking at the Apple podcast ratings and comments the other day, and ladies, I just loved you. Not loved, love you. I am so filled reading those. I'm so happy, I'm so honored that you love being here, and I'm really, really grateful that we have technology and spaces like this to be able to share. Please let me know what you would like to see from me, what you would like to hear about on the podcast. I'm happy to make it for you. I love you and I'm praying for you. Have a beautiful and blessed week, and I'll see you in the next one.