The Healthy Masculine Man Blueprint

The specific qualities that healthy, Godly, masculine men have ✨ What to look for and value in your dating and love life

Discussing the love story of Ruth & Boaz ❤️

Notes: 

• Movie Mentioned: "Ruth & Boaz" on Netflix
• Just a reminder, we will have a break for the next two weeks, and resume the weekly episodes in June

Have a beautiful and blessed week! 

Transcript

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Hello, hello, my beautiful ladies. Welcome, welcome. I'm so excited for this episode because it has been highly requested. It's a very special one, and I know that I say that every episode, but this one is extra special to me because it's talking about how to know if a man is a healthy, masculine, godly man. Let's get into it, ladies. We're gonna be reading a story that we have not talked about on the podcast yet. It's one of the only books in the Bible that is focused entirely on a woman. No, it's not Esther, it's Ruth. Ruth and Boaz, their love story, is one that I just read Ruth uh last week, and I was taking so many notes thinking, oh my gosh, this man is the blueprint. And so I have eight qualities that will help you navigate whether it's your dating life, whether you're already in a relationship, maybe you're even already married, but what standards to set for what to look for in your partner, how to filter out, especially my girls who are dating right now, this will be an excellent blueprint for you to know how to filter the men that you are dating. So let's get into this uh episode. One quick note is I will be traveling in the next two weeks. So next week and the week after that, we will not have an episode. I will be back, I believe it's that first week of June. I'll be back in with you. So I'm going to miss you, but I promise I will make this one extra special to make up for when I'm gone. And this is a good time too, I think, to catch up on any episodes that maybe you've missed. I know I've been putting these out every week. Maybe you're thinking, Alexis, I'm behind. I want to listen to all of them. This is a great time to go back and maybe catch up on some episodes or rewatch your favorite. All right, so let's get into Ruth. We have not talked about Ruth on the podcast yet, and I'm so excited to talk about this story. I'm going to be doing more reading than normal in this episode. So, this is a great episode to get cozy, get your favorite drink, your favorite snack. Let's get into Ruth. So, if you have not read the book of Ruth, that is okay because I'm going to summarize it and we're going to just read one chapter together. And so, who is Ruth and why she's so powerful? You'll see why this feminine queen is so powerful in the end. So, Ruth is married to a man. This man, unfortunately, dies. And back in this time, your husband is your entire security. If you are widowed, it's why there's so many parts in the Bible where God says care for the orphans and for the widows. Because unfortunately, for women in this time, without the protection of their husband, they don't have an income, they don't have property to their name. And so it's very devastating when Ruth loses her husband. Well, her husband's mother is named Naomi. And so Naomi is Ruth's mother-in-law. Unfortunately, Naomi, she Naomi is like the female version of Job. Her life and just the tragedy that happens, it's one of those where you think, oh my gosh, this is so much suffering, but she still comes away so powerful and so rooted in God in the end. Anyways, Naomi loses her husband and she loses her two sons all within a very short time period. And so now Naomi is left with just herself and her two daughter-in-laws. There's another woman named Orpa who is married to Naomi's other son. So after Naomi's sons die, and Orpa and Ruth, they're left without their husbands. Naomi tells them, go back to your mother's homes. Because when you go back to your mother's home, it's like a private, safe space to grieve your husband. And also, Naomi knew that Orpah and Ruth, they could still marry another man. They're young enough where their mothers can still take care of them and push them back out into the marriage market. It's giving a little bit of Bridgerton, right? And so, anyways, she Naomi tells them, Go back to your mother. Orpa goes back. But Ruth says, wherever you go, I will go. Wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Why this is so powerful? First of all, it's beautiful how devoted Ruth is to her mother-in-law. She could easily go home, but she chooses to stay with the family that she married into. Ruth is a Moabite, and the Moabites at this time they were considered outsiders. They were looked down upon by the Jews. They usually were uh people that were full of sin. They worshipped false gods, they had a lot of pagan practices, and so Moabites they were not really looked at in a holy light by the Jews. And so for Ruth to say, I'm going to not go back to my family, I'm not going to go back to those false gods. I want to worship your God, Naomi, which is the Lord, which is Yahweh. And so Ruth stays with Naomi, and Naomi goes, Okay. And they head back to, I believe it's Bethlehem. Yes, they go back to Bethlehem, which is where Naomi was from, and they begin to live their life. So that's a chaptery, or uh a chaptery. My mind is combining two very different words. That's a summary of chapter one. Now I'm going to read chapter two. Ruth works in Boaz's field. Now there was a wealthy and I'm smiling already. If this episode was on video, I cannot. Now there was a wealthy and influential man in Bethlehem named Boaz, who was a relative of Naomi's husband, Elimelik. One day, Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, Let me go out into the harvest fields to pick up the stalks of grain left behind by anyone who is kind enough to let me do it. Quick, quick side note God commands when God is taking the Israelites out of Egypt and they're in the wilderness and God is setting up all of the commandments for them. One of the commandments that he gives them is don't, if you are a farmer and you have land, don't gather all the crops. Like just take what you can, but the ones that can't fit in your basket, fit in your hands, leave it for the poor, leave it for the orphans and for the widows. God is always looking out for those who are underprivileged. And so this is why Ruth is saying that she can go and pick up grain that's left behind by anyone else. So God is always providing. So Ruth says, Let me go and pick up any of the grain left behind. Naomi replied, All right, my daughter. Go ahead. So Ruth went out to gather grain behind the harvesters. And as it happened, she found herself working in a field that belonged to Boaz, the relative of her father-in-law, Elimelech. While she was there, Boaz arrived from Bethlehem and greeted the harvesters. The Lord be with you, he said. The Lord bless you, the harvesters replied. Then Boaz asked his foreman, Who is that young woman over there? Who does she belong to? And the foreman replied, She is the young woman from Moab who came back with Naomi. She asked me this morning if she could gather grain behind the harvesters. She has been hard at work ever since, except for a few minutes of rest in the shelter. Boaz went over to Ruth and said, Listen, my daughter, stay right here with us when you gather grain. Don't go to any other fields. Stay right behind the young women working in my field. See which part of the field they are harvesting, and then follow them. I have warned the young men not to treat you roughly. And when you are thirsty, help yourself to the water that they have drawn from the well. Ruth fell at his feet and thanked him warmly. What have I done to deserve such kindness? she said. I am only a foreigner. Yes, I know, Boaz replied, but I also know about everything you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband. I have heard how you left your father and mother and your own land to live here among complete strangers. May the Lord the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you fully for what you have done. I hope I continue to please you, sir, she replied. You have comforted me by speaking so kindly to me, even though I'm not one of your workers. Total feminine energy, right? That's not in the scriptures, that's just my commentary. At mealtime, Boaz called to her, Come over here and help yourself to some food. You can dip your bread in the sour wine. So she sat with his harvesters, and Boaz gave her some roasted grain to eat. She ate all that she wanted and still have some, still had some left over. When Ruth went back to work again, Boaz ordered his young men, let her gather grain right among the sheaves without stopping her, and pull out some heeds of barley from the bundles and drop them on purpose for her. Let her pick them up and don't give her a hard time. So Ruth gathered barley there all day, and when she beat out the grain that evening it filled an entire basket. She carried it back into town and showed it to her mother-in-law. Ruth also gave her the roasted grain that was left over from her meal. Where did you gather all this grain today? Naomi asked. Where did you work? May the Lord bless the one who helped you. So Ruth told her mother-in-law about the man in whose field she had worked. She said, The man I worked for or I worked with today is named Boaz. May the Lord bless him, Naomi told her daughter-in-law. He is showing his kindness to us, as well as to your dead husband. That man is one of our closest relatives, one of our family redeemers. Side note, family redeemer meant they were next in line to be able to inherit the land so they could save the family by carrying on the family name. Then Ruth said, What's more? Boaz even told me to come back and stay with his harvesters until the entire harvest is completed. Good, Naomi exclaimed. You might be harassed in other fields, but you'll be safe with him. So Ruth worked alongside the women in Boaz's field and gathered grain with them until the end of the barley harvest. Then she continued working with them through the wheat harvest in early summer, and all the while she lived with her mother-in-law. We'll pause right here. That's the end of chapter two. So much goodness in there, which we'll come back and highlight because that's going to be where we pull most of the masculine energy traits from of godly men. Some things that you may be wondering about this field is this field belongs to Boaz. So Ruth is working in Boaz's field. He calls Ruth my daughter as a term of endearment. Yes, there was a pretty big age gap between them, but when he says my daughter to Ruth, it's a way of him showing kindness and telling her, I don't just see you as a worker, as one of my servants, I see you as someone that I want to show kindness to. And you can see he completely protects her in that field, gives her so much favor and provides for her. And so then in chapter three, Naomi is seeing how good Boaz is to Ruth. And this is the thing about wise older women is they know and they can see things. And Naomi sees that Ruth has Boaz's favor. And so she tells Ruth to, in a way, propose a marriage to Boaz. You may be thinking, What? Is this the masculine energy of a woman? No, no, no. This is a way of it's a very feminine way of asking, will you save my family? And so what Naomi tells Ruth to do is to, she tells her, get put on some good clothes, smell good, and when Boaz has eaten, when he's in good spirits after a great night, go when he is sleeping in his bed, lay at his feet. And what Naomi tells Ruth to do is uncover his feet and lie down while he sleeps. So lay down at his feet. What this is symbolizing is Ruth asking Boaz to cover her in marriage. And when she's asking him to cover her, she's in a way saying, Will you redeem me? Will you redeem my family? Will you redeem me by taking on the role as my husband, my provider, and my protector because my husband has died? And so Ruth, she goes ahead and she does this. Boaz is sleeping. Ruth goes and lays down at his feet. Boaz wakes up, he's like, Oh, what are you doing here? Um, and Ruth, she's very humble. She says, I am your servant. Spread the corner of your covering over me, for you are my family redeemer. Boaz is extremely, extremely honored that Ruth asks him to do this. And he's very, very respectful. He does, he keeps, uh, he keeps his distance with Ruth. He even tells her, Yes, of course, I will redeem you. And he's also shocked that she chose him. She could have chosen a younger man, but she chose him. And she knows that she chose Boaz for his kindness, for his character, and for the security that he can provide. So he's very honored. And he protects her purity and her virtue by saying, Okay, leave before anyone sees that you are in my room. Like I said, this is giving Bridgerton. Leave before anyone sees that we are in a room together, because that could have looked very bad to be with the opposite gender when you're not married. So he wants to also protect Ruth's reputation and protect his reputation. He's not a man that sleeps around. So you can start to see where we're going with these healthy masculine qualities. Before Ruth goes back though to Naomi's house, Boaz takes six scoops of barley and he tells Ruth, open up your cloak. And so Ruth takes her coat and Boaz fills her coat with six scoops of barley. I love this. It's like saying, I'm not going to let you walk away empty-handed. And what Boaz was also doing was signaling to Naomi, because he knew that Naomi sent Ruth. He was signaling to Naomi, Yes, I will be your family redeemer. I'm putting this barley in Ruth's cloak to come back to you and say, I will take care of you. I will provide for you. Yes, it is done. The last line of chapter three, Naomi says to Ruth, just be patient, my daughter, until we hear what happens. The man won't rest until he has settled things today. Remember that line? Because we're gonna come back to it. And so, chapter four, God's timing. God's timing when it comes to marriage is always, always, always perfect and intentional. And so Boaz, this is the same day, I believe. Boaz he goes out to the town gate and he just takes a seat. He's just resting, he's just being very present. All of a sudden, the family redeemer of Ruth and Naomi's family walks by. What are the chances? And again, the family redeemer, it's the one who would be next in line to be able to inherit that land and take on the family name. So he would be taking on Eli Melik, which is Naomi's husband that died. He would be next in line behind Eli Melik. And so Boaz, he goes, Come over and sit down. I I want to talk to you, my friend. And Boaz asks this family redeemer, he goes, You know Naomi and Ruth that just came back, and how Naomi's husband, Eli Melik, died. Well, someone needs to redeem that land. And so Boaz says, You are the one that is next in line. But if you don't want it, let me know right away, because I'm next in line to redeem it after you. And the man, if you're reading the story, you might look at this next sentence and go, No, this is a plot twist. The man goes, All right, I'll redeem it. So now Boaz is probably thinking, Oh, well, I I really wanted to marry Ruth, and now this is gonna be harder. And so the man says, Yeah, I'll redeem it. Boaz, very, very smart and an integrity man, he goes, Of course, if you redeem the land, it also requires that you marry Ruth, the Moabite widow. That way she can have children who will who will carry on her husband's name and keep the land in the family. A side note is that in Jewish culture, it was extremely important for the family name to be carried on. There was even a part, I believe this was in Numbers, uh, where there was uh a man whose wife, or no, a a wife whose husband died. And so the wife goes to the brother of this man, of her husband, and says, Please marry me, because I need to, I need to bear a child so that we can carry on our family's name, so that the land can be passed down to the child. And the brother of the husband that died refused to marry his brother's wife, and that man was punished by God. And so I know it sounds crazy because it's family and it's too close. Times were different back then, but this was a culture at the time to keep the to keep the land and to keep the family name passed on within that family. So Boaz tells him, Of course, if you inherit and purchase this land, you must also marry Ruth. The man goes, Well, then I can't do it because that might put my own property at risk. And so Boaz, he's like, Whoo, thank God, I'll redeem it. And so Boaz, he he has so much integrity. He's so just he's a godly man who does things right. He has a lot of witnesses, he has the town elders come by and they're all witnessing this conversation. And he asks the family redeemer, Are you sure you don't want to buy the land? The family redeemer goes, Yep, all yours. And what they did at this time to signal a transaction was there was a sandal. So the one who was transferring the right of the land purchase, he removed his sandal and handed it to the other party. So he handed his sandal to Boaz. And this publicly validated the transaction. So now the land belongs to Boaz. Boaz has legally redeemed Ruth and Naomi's family, and now Boaz and Ruth can get married. And so uh fast forward down a little bit more is in chapter five, Ruth and Boaz they get married and they have a son. And here's just one of the most beautiful parts of this story is they have a son named Obed. Obed then has a son named Jesse, who is the father of David, King David, who is the ancestor of Jesus. And so Jesus comes from Ruth's lineage. And why I love this is because it's such a romantic, beautiful story of Jesus' great, great, great, great, great, I don't know how many great grandmother or grandfather, Ruth and Boaz, but it's also a story of how extreme tragedy, Ruth losing her husband, Naomi losing her husband and son, can lead to a great birth that saves the world. And also, I love this about God. God always uses outsiders, he always uses sinners to prove his love and to accomplish his will. And so remember in the beginning how I had said that Ruth was a Moabite woman. And the Moabites, they were doing a lot of sin, worshipping false gods. But Ruth, her it seemed small, but it was actually huge. Her action to say, No, I'm not going to return to where I came from. I'm going to decide to follow the Lord. I'm going to decide to go where you go, Naomi. That changed the entire trajectory of her lineage. And so God can use anyone. It does not matter your past. Anytime someone or the enemy is trying to make you feel that you are not good enough for the kingdom of God, come back to Ruth. Because that is the biggest lie. God uses everyone, and he loves to use the underdog. Always, always. Now moving on to the masculine energy traits. Ruth is a very, very short book, by the way. It's only five chapters. Four, four chapters, actually. Um, so masculine energy traits. There's gonna be eight of these. Number one is a healthy, godly, masculine man protects. If we go to chapter two, if you have your Bible and you're reading this, this would be excellent to go and flip through with me because you'll see the verse and it it'll just do something to your brain chemistry. So if you flip to chapter two, verses eight through nine. Boaz went over and said to Ruth, this is when they first met. He first sees her working in the land or working his field. Listen, my daughter, stay right here with us when you gather grain. Don't go to any other fields, stay right behind the young. Women working in my field. See which part of the field they are harvesting and then follow them. I have warned the young men not to treat you roughly. And I love this. So Ruth or Boaz keeps Ruth in a safe spot of the field with the women, and he talks to the men specifically. This was not something that was common for the owner of land to go to the male workers and say, See that woman over there? Treat her nice. So Ruth is someone very special in Boaz's eyes. And godly masculine men protect women. They protect all women, period. They especially protect their wife. And with all of these traits, you'll start to notice Boaz is treating Ruth like a wife before he gets any benefit to her even being a wife. Before he ever gets to kiss her, hug her, know that she would be interested in him, he's already treating her with all of these qualities that you'll see. And one of them is he invests in her. Okay, so we'll come back to that. Uh chapter 2, verse 14 through 16. It says that when Ruth went back to work again, Boaz ordered his young men, let her gather grain right here among the sheaves without stopping her. Let her pick them up and don't give her a hard time. I love that because he's he's telling the men that they must protect her. And also in uh verse 16, it says, he's telling the men, Boaz, pull out some heeds of barley or heeds, pull out some heads of barley from the bundle, from the bundles, and drop them on purpose for her. Let her pick them up and don't give her a hard time. I love this because this goes so much deeper to then Boaz just protecting Ruth. Boaz is protecting Ruth's hands, he's protecting her femininity, he's protecting her softness. I'm just imagining the men as Boaz is speaking, they're like, Boaz, just married this woman already. Stop having us drop our grain so that she can pick it up. I love this. Like, masculine, godly men want to make your life easier. Boaz is literally protecting Ruth's energy and her rest, so that all she has to do is just pick up what other people already pulled out. He literally is dropping things on the ground and just having her pick them up. That is to be a harvest worker who that is all that you have to do, it made her life so easy and protected her hands and her softness. So I love this. Creating that environment for her to feel rested as a woman. Number two is provides. Healthy, masculine, godly men provide. And then we'll go back again to chapter two, verses eight through nine. When Boaz is telling her, stay right here with the women, and when you're thirsty, help yourself to the water that they've drawn from the well. So, number one, he's providing her a safe space to work, he's providing her a job, first of all, but he's also providing her resources, water, food. We go back down to verse 14, and Boaz says, Come over here and help yourself to some food. You can dip your bread in the sour wine. She eats an entire meal. She ate all she wanted, it says, and she still had some left over. So he provides more than enough. He provides abundance for her. And this is the thing about godly men they provide abundance and they provide security. So the whole conversation of providing, there's a lot of talk about providing on the internet today. I always say, do what works for you. If you see someone online and you're thinking, ah, but that man provides everything for her, he gives her an allowance, my man doesn't give me an allowance. Ask yourself, is this truly what I desire? Like, is this what I want from my partner? Is this something that he can do? You might be with an excellent, excellent man of God who is still in the building phase and cannot afford to give you an allowance and pay the bills and still invest in his future. By providing for you, there's no right formula to that. Providing means doing what he can with what he has, making you feel that you are secure, that you are taken care of, and giving you an ease and a softness that you cannot get on your own. Providing is also not just financial and physical, it is absolutely emotional and spiritual. You might be with a man who is giving you all of the money, all of the material possessions that you could desire. If he is not providing for you spiritually, you will always be empty. Providing for you spiritually, what does that mean? It means that when you are feeling anxious and you go and talk to your man about it, he is able to pull out scripture and says, but the word of God says, do not be anxious about everything. Instead, pray about everything, and he'll sit down and pray with you. When you are trying to decide, I don't know if I should start this business, that man will sit with you and say, All right, let's let's ask what God's will is. Let's fast together. He invests and provides his own time and energy to help solve your problems. So you might think, okay, I want a man who can provide this for me. I don't uh necessarily need him to give me an allowance that could work for you. I will say some of the best, best men that I have experienced always they will show me that they provide emotionally first. It's an emotional safety. Yes, they will invest, but they don't start off by trying to buy me things or pay for extravagant dinners and dates. It's they show me that yes, they will invest for me. Yes, they will pay for a date, they'll pay for our food, our teas, our experiences. But it's not an over-the-top to where that's all that they are using to try to get me to be interested. It's a huge red flag to me when a man is going over the top, providing financially, because it's usually a lack for something else that he's trying to make up for with money. And that's a red flag because anyone can provide that. You need the emotional and the spiritual side of providing as well, which Boaz does. He provides her security emotionally, working in his field. He treats her very kindly. And when Boaz says to her, he goes, I know about everything that you've done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband. I heard how you left your father and mother. May the Lord, the God of Israel, reward you fully for what you have done. He blesses her, he nourishes her with the love of God. That is better than any physical thing that could be provided. So I want you to truly feel that you don't have to compare yourself to what you are seeing on the internet. I have also fallen into that trap a lot. And I think providing looks for whatever feels good for you. There's going to be different seasons in your relationship and marriage too, where you might be making more money, he might be making more money. But if you if you truly desire, I want to be a stay-at-home mom and a stay-at-home wife. I want a man that can cover all the bills. Be so clear in that desire. I think that is a great desire to have. And if a man is willing to do that, great. Some men are. I will actually say most men are. That is what they want, is for that option. And remember to also keep your standards high. A man that refuses to provide, I would also question that. Okay, so number two is he provides. And something here too is about Boaz providing Ruth a job. I'm smiling as I'm thinking this because I already know someone is thinking, well, why didn't he just say you don't have to work all together? I so get that too. And what's so funny is I think that's such a modern day way of thinking because back then that wasn't something that was done unless you were married. And that's also why, too, to be careful about seeing things on the internet because a lot of things that woman is giving something in exchange, usually her body to a man, and showing, look, this man is providing everything for me. He just bought me a car and an apartment. I think there's a lot of that promotion going on, but there's a sexual exchange that you're not seeing, and that's not something that I want you to ever offer in order for a man to provide. Your husband will provide for you. Your body is never a source that should be involved in a transaction for being provided for. And so back in this time, Boaz, he wasn't going to go to Ruth and say, Okay, I don't want you to work at all. She wasn't his wife, and he didn't want to impose on her like that. Ruth was going to work regardless. That was just in her nature. That was what widows did. They were going to go and find a place where they could harvest grain. He knew that if it was not his field, it would be another field, and likely she would have been harassed. That was the culture, unfortunately. Still is the culture in a lot of places, unfortunately. And so he says, I will provide you protection. Come and work in my field. I will guarantee you will not be harassed. And so him providing a job for her was also a way of protecting her. Okay, number three, this is one of my favorites. Number three, a healthy, masculine, godly man is attracted to godly character in women. Why does Ruth or why does Boaz go so far as to give Ruth so much safety, give her a job for an entire season, invite her to come and dine with all the harvesters the very day that she begins work? Why does Boaz do all of this? Because he knows her story. He says to her, I know what you have done for Naomi. I know how you left your family and devoted your life to God and to being with Naomi. And he wanted to reward that. He was so attracted to her character that that made him want to step up and pursue her. And so godly men, they're attracted to godly character. That's one of the biggest things that has changed in my relationship with God as I have gotten closer to God. The men that I attract, very, very different than years ago. If I just take, if I let's say maybe 2025, the men that I was attracting in 2025 versus 2023, very, very different because what I was drawn to was different. How I carried myself was different. I carried myself in a way that said I'm so loved by God and I know my identity. I didn't walk in a way that was seeking validation. I didn't walk in a way that was insecure or hungry for a need to be met. My needs were met, period, when I started getting so deeply rooted in God. I would say that was late 2024, early 2025, when I said, I'm going to read my Bible every single morning. Something just changed in me when I moved to Dubai and I said, I need God more than ever. And as I'm reading God's word every single day, I am getting fed by the word of God. The Bible is our daily bread. And when I'm getting fed by this, my appetite for what I craved in men started to change. And I stopped seeing certain men. I swear, in the end of 2024, like I saw different men in the world. I stopped seeing guys that I would have normally been interested in. And what I mean by this is let's say that I'm just going for a walk. When I first moved here, I would see a man who's extremely attractive. I could see his muscles, I could see his height, I could see the way he's carrying himself with a lot of that um, like uh let's just call it the testosterone walk. And I was like, oh, okay, that man's very attractive. If he came up to me, I would definitely talk to him. Well, then as my appetite started changing, I started craving the men who weren't having their muscles and arms out, but the men who were carrying themselves with humility. The men who, when I looked in their eyes, I saw kindness. The men who were walking slower, they weren't in a rush, they're just enjoying the sunset, they're enjoying nature. Naturally, my taste changed. That also happens for men when they are seeking God, is their tastes change. Yeah, they can see a beautiful woman and feel, oh, she is gorgeous. But it's like when you see something on social media, let's say um something on the news that's really tragic, when you're close to God and you're reading his word, you're not going to get as triggered by that. You're not going to be as hungry for celebrity drama because your appetite changed. You lose your taste for it. It's like when you're eating really healthy and then you eat a bag of chips, you're like, uh, these don't taste the way that they used to. So godly men, they see women differently when they are pursuing God. Why? Because they're looking for God when they are looking at women. And it's, I think another great example of this is you can look at a sunset and people will see it very differently. One person will see, oh, that's cool, clouds, colors, and another person will see, look at God's artwork tonight. That is what men will see in you. They will hear the way that you speak, they will feel your heart, they will see the light in you, in your eyes, and they will say, look at God's masterpiece, and they will be so drawn to it. So you don't have to worry about being the perfect woman ever. You have to worry about pursuing God as perfectly as you can. I'm not even gonna use the word perfectly, as strongly as you can. So the eyes of your husband, they are searching for you. Not you when you are looks maxing. I just learned about this term on TikTok and I'm like, oh my gosh, here we go again. Looks maxing is pretty much when you are maxing out the best that you can look. It can be like hair maxing, getting the best hair that you can, or I don't know, there's there's so many maxing terms today. But all of that does not matter because your husband will have eyes for you. There's nothing that you can change externally that will allow your husband to see you and go, oh, she's the one. It's the way that your soul is, it is the spirit that you are carrying. He feels and sees your spirit, and that's not physical. Maybe there's slight physical signs with your eyes, your body language, but he's going to be drawn to your spirit because you guys share the same spirit. And this is what happened for Boaz and Ruth. Boaz asked his foreman, he goes, Who is that young woman over there? And I love that because immediately he recognizes his wife. I've heard so many women say this to me. They're like, my husband, when he saw me, he said, I knew that she was the one. And I think God has designed us this way to just know. Of course, maybe not for everyone. I think some relationships grow over a friendship or maybe over a long period. But I've heard so many people say, I just knew. And I love this part. This is for my fantasy romance readers. It says, After Boaz asks his foreman, who is that young woman over there? He asks, he asks, Who does she belong to? All of my girls in book club, you're screaming. I'm screaming with you. You remember in Esther when we were talking about Esther and King, I don't know how to say his name, but I think it's King Xerxes. He says to Esther, who would be so presumptuous as to touch you? That's one of my favorite lines in the entire Bible. We love that dominant masculine energy. But when Boaz is asking who does she belong to, it's not like a possessive. I know I already know there's someone listening saying, No, I want it to be that way. No, Boaz is asking, who does she belong to? As in who is her husband? Because, like I said in the beginning, a woman's protection in her covering was her husband. And so he's pretty much asking, is she single? All right, so that's number three. Number four is a healthy, godly, masculine man gives favor. There's so much favor all over the story. When Boaz invites Ruth to dine with all the harvesters, he gives her leftovers in chapter 2, verse 14 through 16. He gives her protection in the fields, even having his men drop the extra grain and barley for her. There's so much favor that Boaz gives to Ruth. And I love this because what's really happening is God is giving Ruth favor. God is protecting and providing for Ruth. And God does this for his daughters, he gives us favor. And sometimes that favor comes in the form of a man caring for us. And so I love this. How a man is like our covering, our a man is our protection. I used to be so triggered by this, thinking, no, but we are equal. Now I see it so differently as in it's like a safety, like a refuge to run to. It's almost like a parent. How God designed marriage is for God, He is the covering for a man. A man is the covering for his wife, or a husband is the covering for his wife. And that flow of favor from God to the man to the woman is the transfer. And I love that. That is why it's so important to pray for your husband too, because what you ask for, the desires that God gives you and you ask for them, it says in scripture, God will give you the desires of your heart. So be so specific with what you ask. And another note here is you cannot mess up to your partner. You cannot mess up. I tell my clients this all the time. I say you cannot mess up for the right man. There's nothing you can say or do that makes him annoyed or can give him the ick. That's impossible when it's your husband, when it's the man that God has chosen for you. And if you think about this, the man that you really, really like, he can't do anything to mess up. Yeah, maybe he'll give you the ick here and there. But men, they actually don't get the ick the way that women do. It's way, way less. And when God has decided two people are going to be together, nothing can mess that up. Not even you. So favor is something that you will get. You may notice men just they look out for you differently. Or um maybe you're dating someone and you think they treat me so differently from um the way that they treat everyone else. It's because you have that man's favor. He likes you extra because he he knows this is my woman, and this is what Boaz is doing for Ruth. All right, number five is he pursues godly, masculine men pursue. In chapter two, verse 21. Boaz tells Ruth to come back and stay all season. And that was huge because she was new to harvesting, she didn't have a lot of skills, he didn't get to verify how well she was doing. He tells her the same day that she starts, come and work for me all season. And then she ends up working even more. She ends up working until the early summer or all the way through the early summer. And also when Ruth had asked, Who does she belong to? He's getting the clear so that he knows, okay, she's not married, I can pursue her. And then in chapter 4, verse 2, when Boaz talks to that family redeemer when he's sitting outside the town gate, immediately the night before, Ruth was just laying at his feet. And Boaz said, Okay, I will cover and protect you, I will be your husband. Immediately, Boaz goes and talks to the family redeemer. One note here is that Boaz, he had his life, he had his business, and most importantly, he had his relationship with God together. This man was ready to be a husband. This is also a quality of a healthy, godly man who's specifically ready for marriage. He has his life together. Relationship with God, his business or work, and his own life, like his own inner work is together. Boaz, he is in king energy. Doesn't mean you cannot still date someone who is not in the king stage yet. But just keep this in mind if you feel you are ready for marriage. Number six is a healthy, godly, masculine man. He is just. He is just. He is honorable. And he is in integrity. He leads with integrity. When Boaz speaks with a family redeemer immediately, Boaz he could have gone around this. He could have married Ruth and then said, Oh, well, I already technically redeemed the family, and so the land belongs to me. Nope. He immediately goes and talks to the family redeemer who's next in line and says, Hey, this land, technically, you get to buy it, but if you don't buy it, I really want to buy it. Because I really want to marry Ruth. And also, uh, in chapter 3, verse 14, when Ruth is alone in his bedchamber, he tells her, Okay, go before anyone wakes up so that they don't see that a woman was here at the threshing floor. He protects Ruth's virtue and he also protects his own. Also, sadly, during this time, why they were even so strict with men and women being together was because men took advantage of women all the time. The strength of a man, it could easily overpower a woman. Boaz, he does not lay a finger on Ruth. He protects her and honors her. And so you will never feel pressured by a healthy, godly man, especially when it comes to sex. You will never feel pressured. If you do, that is a red flag. That is not a man that is led by God. He is led by his flesh. So a healthy, masculine man will protect your integrity. He will respect your values, he will respect uh and honor your body, he will respect and honor your mind, and he will live a life in integrity. He will be a man of his word, he will keep his promises, he will be fair, he will be honest about his past, he will be honest with his intentions. Integrity is what he is going to be led by. Number seven, a healthy, godly man invests in his wife. In chapter four, verse seven, when the land transaction is validated, because the family redeemer hands his sandal to Boaz, and then at that point the the transfer goes through. That was incredible because I love it. The night before Ruth was, I was gonna say Ruaz. That's their name when we ship them together. Team Ruaz. Um, but the night before Ruth was just asking Boaz, will you will you take on the role of my husband? Will you redeem me and my family? And without delay, Boaz goes and purchases land. And I love this because number one, he was ready. He had the funds to invest in his wife. It's kind of like the dowry situation, um, but opposite, because Ruth or Boaz is the one that's investing. And then he does not even hesitate to buy the land. When Ruth asks, will you protect me? Will you be my husband and marry me? Never once does Boaz go, ah, that's a lot of money to buy the land for your family. Oh, let me check my account. Let's see how we're doing financially. Nope. The next day he makes the purchase. So there's no delay in his investment. And Boaz was investing in Ruth before he knew he would get anything from her. When he's bringing her on as a harvester, but she's not bringing anything helpful to his land, pretty much, and he's giving her food, he's letting her drink the water, he's giving his resources to this woman who is not giving him a kiss, not even giving him time during the day. He's not getting anything from her. But he's happy to invest in her. He feels like a man investing in her. And men, especially, especially men that are godly men, that are so led and rooted by God, they know the word of God. And the word of God says, help those. One of the verses for this month that I have memorized is feed the hungry and help those in trouble. This is Isaiah 58, 10. God commands us to help those in need. Godly men are always helping those in need. They have huge, huge hearts, and so they will be investing in you, especially if you are in need. And when Boaz put the six scoops of barley in Ruth's cloak and sent her home to Naomi, I don't know how much that cost, but I'm guessing that was a lot of him to invest and just give to her. Number eight, this is the last one, and then we'll talk about a few bonus notes. Is a healthy, godly, masculine man moves without delay. There's this word that scripture uses a lot, steadfast, which means quick, moving without delay. Boaz is very steadfast. I love what Naomi says in chapter 3, verse 18. Sh when Ruth goes back after visiting Boaz, um, Naomi says, just be patient, my daughter, until we hear what happens. That man won't rest until he has settled things today. She knows his character. And his character is consistent. This is the thing about godly men. If we had a quality number nine, it would be consistency. They're very consistent. Their character doesn't change depending on who they're around. And you can depend on them. And so Naomi knows he is gonna take care of this marriage. Just wait. We trust him. And when Boaz is outside the town gate and he just happens to see the family redeemer next in line walk by, he says, Friend, come here, I want to talk to you. He could have said, Oh, let me think about what I want to say first. Let me think of, do I want to marry Ruth? Nope. He moves without delay. Come here, friend, I want to talk to you. Do you want the land or not? Because I want Ruth. And in chapter two, verse eight, once Boaz asks, Who is that young woman over there? He immediately goes over and introduces himself. So healthy, godly men will recap these eight points. They protect, they provide, they are attracted to godly character, they give favor to their wife, they pursue, they are just, they're honorable, they live in integrity, they invest in their wife, and they are steadfast. They move without delay. And a bonus one is that they are extremely consistent. So these are the qualities of healthy, godly, masculine men. There are so many more, of course, but the other day when I was reading this, I could not stop taking notes and I thought I can't wait to share this with the girls. So this is the story of Ruth and Boaz, which we will probably come and revisit because there's also many, many more gems in here and themes. One thing that I wanted to share with you was there is a movie called Ruth and Boaz. It actually just came out, I believe, in 2025. It is so good. I actually think Netflix did this movie. It is so good. I cried watching it. It's a feel-good movie. Yes, it's a little bit sad because like the beginning, Naomi loses her husband and the tragedy of her sons. The movie, it is a beautiful romantic movie, and it's a modern day version of the story of Ruth and Boaz. If anyone watched Empire, okay, Empire is not a godly show. I watched it when I was a teenager and it was it was crazy. It's too heavy for me to watch now, unfortunately. Um, but there's an actress, Tiana, from the show, if you know her. She is the one that plays Ruth. She's gorgeous, just so beautiful, a great actress, a great singer, and she's a pop star in the movie. And I'm not gonna spoil it for you, but she ends up going and uh meeting her Boaz, and oh, you can just see all of these qualities that we discussed play out visually. And Boaz, let's just say the casting directors did a very good job selecting the characters for this movie. It is so great, and I love it because it's like watching The Chosen, you get to see the Bible brought to life. Of course, this is a modern day like hip-hop version of Ruth and Boaz. It's so good. When you need a feel-good movie night, this is the one for you. Okay, second bonus note, and then I have one more, is if you are single right now and you're dating, some advice that I give to my students is get yourself, I don't tell them this, but I I'll tell you this: get yourself a Naomi. What I tell them is have older, wiser women around you at all times if you can. Why? Is because older, wiser women they are always looking to matchmake. I don't know why. I hope that I'm like that one day. I can't wait to play keep it a little bit for God. But they love to matchmake. They have sons, they have grandsons, they have nephews, they have connections, and they love to help young women get married. I kind of think of it as Violet Bridgerton. I know I keep talking about Bridgerton a lot. Um, the way that Violet moves for her children, there's just something in the nature of these incredible older, wiser women who are just walking with God and they want to see young women be with healthy, masculine, godly men. Older women will help you. They will help you navigate, they will give you wisdom, they will sometimes arrange things for you. And so it's very important. I think a great place to meet them would be maybe church, maybe your mom's friends, networking events, anywhere where you can be around just incredible older, wiser women. It will help you to get connected to more masculine, godly men. There was a time at church where uh this is my church here in Dubai. One of my friends, she comes over to me, she goes, There's someone that wants to talk to you, Alexis. And I go to her, I'm like, okay, sure, who is it? And she she introduces me to this woman. She's an older woman, maybe 60 years old, and she says to me, She goes, Young lady, are you single? I was like, Oh, hello, nice to meet you. And uh she was anyway, she was trying to set me up with her son, and it was just amazing for me to see, like, wow, look at the way that these women work for their children. I love it so much. And so you never know, like, just pursue God and God will give you his favor and allow things to work out for you. I love how in the Bible God says, He who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor from the Lord. Men finding you is what the scriptures say specifically. So when you are seeking God, you don't have to worry about, okay, am I in the right places? Am I in close proximity to a lot of men? If you are in close proximity to God, you are in close proximity to the right man. So focus on pursuing God. I think Ruth is an excellent, excellent example of that. She was not worried about meeting another husband. She said, God, I'm gonna follow you. I'm gonna follow Naomi. And that is how she met her husband, who just happened to be a very wealthy owner of land, great godly man. I pray that for every single woman that is listening right now. I pray for you to meet your Boaz. And number three is this is super, super important too. When Ruth met Boaz, she had met her husband, but still went through a waiting and a working season. So if we go back to chapter two, it says Ruth continued working for them throughout the wheat harvest in the early summer. So she was working for them, I don't know exactly how long. She worked until the end of the barley harvest, then the end of the wheat harvest. If that's two farming seasons, I'm just guessing maybe it's two quarters, which would be half a year to six months. That's just my guess. I need to go and study the scripture a little bit better. But two seasons of planting and harvesting. God highlighted this to me so much when I was reading Ruth. He said there was a waiting and a working season, even though she had already met her husband. I was like, ooh, because I think what the world teaches so much is fast. Everything happens fast and it happens immediate. You may have already met your husband, and there still may be a season where it is not ready for you two to be married. So this was very, very important that I mentioned too. And also, Ruth, she's I think it's so intentional that God has them planting and harvesting because they're not just planting and harvesting food, but it's a spiritual harvest. Ruth, she is putting in the work, she's sowing her seeds into her relationship with God, into her hard work, into her stewardship of the life that God has given her. We just had our episode last week on stewardship, and she's having fruit produced in her life. She's becoming the fruitful feminine. I love that the name of this podcast is the fruitful feminine, because as I start to read the Bible more and more, it seems like there's just fruit and harvesting and seed analogies everywhere. So, Ruth, oh, this beautiful, faith-filled, devoted to God woman still goes through a waiting and a working season, even after meeting her husband. So this is just coming to me now. Do you ever see those videos or pictures where women will say, I had no idea that this was my husband in the back of my photo? We crossed paths when we were traveling. We did not meet once, but we ended up meeting later in life and got married. I think there's so many times. Can you imagine God is watching in heaven? Like one of us comes into the bathroom and one comes out at maybe the same second, but we don't see each other. Like, can you imagine how many times you may have crossed paths with your husband already? I think that's so beautiful to get excited about because God is also harvesting something in you. And then when you pair it together with what he's harvesting in your husband, because maybe your husband, it's his time to get worked on. When you guys come together with both of your harvest, it's two whole complete people coming together, and that is a godly kingdom marriage, and it is so worth waiting for. There's so many feminine energy qualities to Ruth, too, but I think that'll have to be a whole other episode. I hope that you loved this. I hope that it helped you so much. Just maybe have hope if you are single. And I think single, it's such a like a term that people feel this is bad, this is sad. It is one of the greatest gifts, and I know everyone says this, but to have all of the free time in the world for just you and God, that is something that it feels like a long time, but you're gonna look back later and feel that time it was so precious, and I never savored it because I was always living in the future thinking, I want my husband, I want my family. You get to have that for the rest of your life if that is what you desire and in God's will. But this season it is temporary. So I hope that this gives you hope. I hope that it helps you in your dating life just know what to look for in men and to keep your standards high for a boaz. We're gonna have lots of uh glow guys uh that are just different forms of boaz around here. And I love this. All right, ladies. I love you so much. I will miss you these next two weeks. I am just going to rest a bit, have a creative reset, and I cannot wait to come back and to see you soon. I'm always praying for you, and I love you so much. Have a beautiful and a blessed week.