WEBVTT 00:00:08.449 --> 00:00:14.449 Hello, my friends, and welcome back to the Spray UMC Podcast. 00:00:15.009 --> 00:00:16.289 I'm Hoyt. 00:00:17.890 --> 00:00:21.730 Today I want to talk about something I still struggle with. 00:00:22.050 --> 00:00:24.689 How to love someone when we disagree. 00:00:27.089 --> 00:00:32.770 When someone confronts me or strongly disagrees with me, I often become quiet. 00:00:34.210 --> 00:00:37.250 It is not always because I have nothing to say. 00:00:37.890 --> 00:00:44.770 Sometimes I remain silent because I do not trust myself to disagree and still show the love of Christ. 00:00:45.810 --> 00:00:48.929 I do not want anger to control my words. 00:00:49.410 --> 00:00:53.810 I do not want to say something that will damage another person. 00:00:55.090 --> 00:00:59.410 But remaining silent is not always the same as making peace. 00:01:00.210 --> 00:01:06.209 Sometimes comes from wisdom, but sometimes it comes from fear. 00:01:07.569 --> 00:01:15.890 So how do we speak honestly, stand by our convictions, and still love the person standing before us? 00:01:19.329 --> 00:01:26.609 We sometimes act as though loving someone means approving of everything that person believes or does. 00:01:27.170 --> 00:01:30.609 But agreement and love are not the same thing. 00:01:31.170 --> 00:01:34.129 Jesus never compromised the truth. 00:01:34.450 --> 00:01:47.250 He spoke clearly about sin, repentance, and obedience to God, yet he also treated people with compassion, dignity, and mercy. 00:01:48.769 --> 00:02:01.329 Ephesians four, fifteen tells us, but speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into him who is the head, Christ. 00:02:03.810 --> 00:02:09.009 Notice that that scripture holds truth and love together. 00:02:09.490 --> 00:02:13.169 Truth without love can become harsh and cruel. 00:02:13.810 --> 00:02:18.210 Love without truth can become empty and dishonest. 00:02:19.170 --> 00:02:25.810 Christ calls us to speak the truth, but he also cares about the spirit in which we speak it. 00:02:28.770 --> 00:02:36.050 James 1 nineteen says, My dear brothers and sisters, understand this. 00:02:37.090 --> 00:02:44.129 Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. 00:02:45.890 --> 00:02:48.610 Listening does not mean that I agree. 00:02:48.930 --> 00:02:54.930 It means that I care enough to understand what the other person is actually saying. 00:02:56.370 --> 00:03:01.490 Too often we listen only long enough to prepare our reply. 00:03:01.890 --> 00:03:06.129 While the other person is still speaking, we are already building our argument. 00:03:06.770 --> 00:03:11.490 We are not trying to understand, we are trying to win. 00:03:12.849 --> 00:03:15.729 But people are not arguments to be defeated. 00:03:16.449 --> 00:03:21.810 Listening may not change my convictions, but it may change how I see the person. 00:03:22.610 --> 00:03:30.370 It may help me recognize the pain, fear, or life experience behind the words I'm hearing. 00:03:32.449 --> 00:03:39.650 The person who disagrees with me is not merely an opinion, a political position, or a label. 00:03:40.289 --> 00:03:43.490 That person is someone created in the image of God. 00:03:44.610 --> 00:03:49.650 When I reduce someone to a label, it becomes easier to dismiss them. 00:03:50.530 --> 00:03:54.210 I stop seeing a person and begin seeing an opponent. 00:03:55.090 --> 00:03:59.250 Jesus did not command us to love only the people who agree with us. 00:03:59.890 --> 00:04:03.009 He even commanded us to love our enemies. 00:04:06.210 --> 00:04:10.689 That does not mean pretending that every idea is true. 00:04:11.009 --> 00:04:17.569 It means refusing to treat another human being as though he or she has no value. 00:04:18.849 --> 00:04:24.050 We can disagree with a person's belief without attacking that person's worth. 00:04:26.769 --> 00:04:33.649 Jesus taught that what comes out of our mouths reveals what is living in our hearts. 00:04:34.129 --> 00:04:38.769 Disagreement has a way of bringing hidden things to the surface. 00:04:39.490 --> 00:04:50.530 It can expose anger, pride, bitterness, impatience, or the desire to prove that we are right. 00:04:52.930 --> 00:05:01.089 Before I respond, I need to ask myself, what will my words reveal about my heart? 00:05:02.370 --> 00:05:04.850 Am I trying to help someone understand? 00:05:05.329 --> 00:05:07.810 Or am I trying to embarrass them? 00:05:08.769 --> 00:05:13.730 Am I defending the truth or am I defending my pride? 00:05:14.930 --> 00:05:20.050 Do my words sound like someone who has been changed by Jesus Christ? 00:05:24.370 --> 00:05:28.930 Sometimes the right response is to speak gently. 00:05:29.889 --> 00:05:32.610 Sometimes it is to remain quiet. 00:05:34.530 --> 00:05:40.449 Sometimes it is to say, I hear what you're saying, but I do not agree. 00:05:41.810 --> 00:05:48.530 We do not need to win every argument, but we should always seek to honor Christ. 00:05:51.730 --> 00:06:02.689 Romans twelve, eighteen says, If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 00:06:04.930 --> 00:06:07.730 I appreciate the honesty of that verse. 00:06:08.129 --> 00:06:14.930 Paul says, if possible, some disagreements will not be resolved. 00:06:15.250 --> 00:06:22.209 We may listen carefully, speak respectfully, and still walk away believing different things. 00:06:22.769 --> 00:06:25.970 Our responsibility is not to force agreement. 00:06:26.370 --> 00:06:31.810 Our responsibility is to do everything within our power to live at peace. 00:06:33.490 --> 00:06:36.769 I cannot control another person's response. 00:06:37.089 --> 00:06:41.329 I can control whether I answer with patience or anger. 00:06:42.610 --> 00:06:46.290 I can control whether my words heal or wound. 00:06:47.569 --> 00:06:52.930 I can control whether I treat someone as a neighbor or as an enemy. 00:06:55.250 --> 00:07:06.050 Jesus said in John 13, 35, by this everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another. 00:07:07.250 --> 00:07:11.009 People are watching how Christians treat those who disagree with them. 00:07:11.730 --> 00:07:17.009 Our behavior may tell them more about our faith than our arguments ever will. 00:07:18.530 --> 00:07:28.209 If we speak about the love of Christ while treating others with contempt, our words lose their meaning. 00:07:29.649 --> 00:07:32.050 I am still learning how to do this. 00:07:32.530 --> 00:07:37.089 I do not always know what to say when someone disagrees with me. 00:07:37.810 --> 00:07:41.730 But perhaps the goal is not to have the perfect response. 00:07:42.689 --> 00:07:50.689 Perhaps the goal is to remember that the person standing before me is someone Christ commands me to love. 00:07:54.610 --> 00:07:57.569 We can disagree without becoming enemies. 00:07:58.050 --> 00:08:00.689 We can speak truth without cruelty. 00:08:01.410 --> 00:08:05.170 We can listen without surrendering our convictions. 00:08:05.889 --> 00:08:15.649 And though it through it all we can ask Christ to make his love visible in us, let us pray. 00:08:17.009 --> 00:08:21.569 Lord Jesus, teach us to speak the truth with love. 00:08:22.370 --> 00:08:29.089 Help us listen before we answer and see every person as someone created in your image. 00:08:30.050 --> 00:08:35.089 Guard our hearts against anger, pride, and bitterness. 00:08:35.970 --> 00:08:43.889 When agreement is impossible, help us remain patient, respectful, and faithful to you. 00:08:44.609 --> 00:08:49.729 May our words and actions show others the love we have received from you. 00:08:50.529 --> 00:08:52.609 In your holy name we pray. 00:08:52.929 --> 00:08:53.569 Amen. 00:08:55.729 --> 00:08:57.809 Thank you for joining me today. 00:08:58.049 --> 00:09:11.250 If you do not have a church home, we would love to have you worship with us at Spray United Methodist Church, located at 803 Morgan Road in Eden, North Carolina. 00:09:11.649 --> 00:09:16.129 We are a loving church where we love God and love people. 00:09:17.169 --> 00:09:18.129 All people. 00:09:18.929 --> 00:09:24.689 Until next time, may the grace of God rise before you and keep you safe. 00:09:25.250 --> 00:09:26.529 Goodbye.