Marriage/Love (Episode 19)

This week we talk about love and marriage. We talk about preparing for the season of being single. And loving each other while growing together. Hope you guys have a good week and thank you for listening. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi everybody, welcome to another episode of the Hurts Podcast. I'm Kelsey Hurt.

SPEAKER_01 0:05

And I'm Peyton Hurt.

SPEAKER_00 0:06

And we are on episode 19, and this episode is called Love.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Yes, so we're super excited to get into this. Uh we are doing this is our second episode this week.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Yeah, we filmed yesterday, and then today we're filming.

SPEAKER_01 0:21

Yes, we're filming. So uh kind of just to go into like our weekend and our week uh to kind of prepare. Next week is our we are celebrating one year of marriage. Uh so we're going on a trip, so again, that's why we are filming in advance.

SPEAKER_00 0:37

Yep. Um but this past weekend, looking back at what we're going to experience, even though we haven't experienced it yet, we have really exciting things. We have a Forest Frank concert with big Forest Frank fans. If you haven't told if you haven't been able to tell, I think you've worn your shirt before.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Yeah, I have. And and it's really cool to see if if you are a believer and you've never been to um, you know, we you call it a concert, but really it's it's uh for me, I believe that it's it's very worshipful. Yeah. Um, and he really brings the worship experience out of it, and it's really cool to see uh everybody there.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

For sure. We are going with my sister and my friends, so I'm so excited for them to experience it because we went last year when we were engaged, and it was just so cool, like he said to see everybody worshiping, but also just a quick story. It was so weird because when we went last year, do you remember how I felt so like I don't know, it's just like an emotion of like being down and I wasn't enjoying the concert. Yes, and then Forrest Frank came out and said a prayer, and he was like, Lord, we rebuke anything that is not of you, we pray that this is like a worshipful time, and then right away my whole um emotion changed.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:51

So just another thing to say is like it truly is worship, and we're really excited because it's also music we like.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Yes, yeah. Uh also within that we have Father's Day.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:01

Uh we all have celebrated Father's Day, and then we also have our bridge event. Um, if you guys don't know or haven't listened, or this is your first time listening, um, Kelsey and I run uh we lead a young adults young adults group from 18 to 28. Um, so we have an event where we are just gathering together and having a good time.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

Specifically playing arcade games and fellowship, so you can't go wrong.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

No, no, acting acting like a kid again.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

Okay, we love it.

SPEAKER_01 2:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:29

Uh so this episode we are talking about love, and we're more on touching on a couple of verses that reflect love, but we're kind of gonna go from our experience being married, what the Bible says about marriage, um, how we prepared for marriage. So it's really gonna be kind of the center of this topic of what or of this episode is love, but we're gonna kind of be all over in that way. Um, so a little recap. I know we talked about in our first very first episode, our testimony episode about how we met.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

That was almost three months ago.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

So um if you're a new listener or if you just didn't happen to hear that episode, we want to do a recap.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

Yes. So um I guess just coming from my perspective, um, kind of the short version of it, uh I was raised in a Christian household. Um, you know, I was in a three-year relationship coming out of high school, and um went through a breakup, went through that season, and I kind of went and pursued the faith. Um started reading, started praying for my future uh wife, started praying for Christian friends. This is when I had started getting in the faith. Um and I used to go to the gym and I met uh I went to the sauna and I met two pastors, and long story short, um that one of the pastors in there was uh now my father-in-law, and it's Kelsey's dad, and that is kind of how I met because I continued to meet with her dad before I even knew of Kelsey.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

Yeah, it was kind of a discipleship relationship, but then once Peyton met me, we always joke like, sorry, we just hung out from there, and my dad, which is really cool, he's always pointed out like the Lord revealed to him that he's able to be there for Peyton in a different way for the rest of his life. So that's the beautiful thing about um becoming family. So it's been cool. My perspective, similar to Peyton's, I came out of a relationship, it was off and on for four years, and it finally it ended, and I had come to a spot where I was really just growing in my faith with the Lord, growing deeper in relationship and truly seeing what his love was like on a daily basis. So I was on fire for the Lord, and I had finally been like, Okay, I'm not looking for anything, I'm in my healing era.

SPEAKER_01 4:54

Right.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

And as soon as uh that happened, um, I got a call from my dad, and he said, I met someone in the sauna, his name is Peyton Hurt, and kind of just went on about he's still your type and all these things, and I didn't really think anything of it until I came home for the summer, and then I met you and It was on Good Friday?

SPEAKER_01 5:16

Was it Good Friday?

SPEAKER_00 5:17

Yeah, we met each other on Good Friday. Um, I also wanted to say, Oh, I had something in my head. Oh, I was gonna say, when you started praying for your future wife, we figured out it was around the same time I started praying for my future husband. So I always like to point that out because the power of prayer is so evident in our story, and I love that.

SPEAKER_01 5:38

Right, and it was kind of cool because it was like God was preparing us like very similar in the same in the same season of life, you know.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

Uh at that time. So yeah, very good point. So that's kind of a recap of how we've met. Um, and now we are going to go into we have two two different verses that uh talk about love.

SPEAKER_00 5:56

So um 1 Peter 4.8, if you want to read that one.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

Yeah, I can do that. Okay, so 1 Peter 4.8, it says, Above all, love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins. So again, we see loving each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins. So I think that's just awesome because what a powerful verse, right? Like we are born with sin. And it and it says right here that that if we continue to love each other, that it it literally covers a multitude of sins.

SPEAKER_00 6:28

Yeah, I I talked about this verse today with my friend because it was the verse the day yesterday. And we just thought about how cool it was that ending part. It covers over the multitude of sins because it points to what Jesus did on the cross, the sacrifice. That's the ultimate act of love, and how it literally like we're able to be saved through that.

SPEAKER_02 6:47

Right.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

Um, but also when we live and we like in the day-to-day we love each other, it helps us to be more focused, if it's godly love, on God. Right. And from there on out, like, you know, praise Him through that and not sin.

SPEAKER_02 7:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

Um when we're loving in a godly way. So just a cool there's like depth to that verse.

SPEAKER_01 7:06

Yeah, because especially I I think of like community in this verse, like um, you know, if you love each other deeply and you have fellowship within a community, um, you know, it leads you and strives you towards following Jesus and being more like Jesus as as you have a like-minded believer surrounding you.

SPEAKER_00 7:24

Yeah, for sure. I love that. The second one we wanted to talk about is first John 3 18. That says, Dear children, let us not love with words or speech, but with actions and in truth. And I love this because you can say I love you to someone all you want. You can say, Um, I love you, I care for you. But what's really gonna show is the action piece.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

Um, so it's just pointing back to loving in a godly way.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

Yeah. Good. Very good.

unknown 7:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

I like that. So so moving forward, um, I know we kind of touched on love there, so there are some verses that um kind of reference the act of love. Um now we wanted to go into kind of like marriage and and again, because we talked about next week or when this is coming out, it will be the day after. Yeah, our one year anniversary. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:16

Time truly flies.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

It does.

SPEAKER_00 8:18

So we wanted to be kind of more have a more personal episode to our story because it is such a big celebration, but also in that kind of let you guys know what helped us during our dating season, things that we learned from marriage, um, and specifically scripture that talks about marriage.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

Yeah. And if you're not married, um, you know, we kind of wanted to touch on certain things like, okay, what what did we do in in our season of preparing for that marriage, right? Like, what's it look like to prepare for that um when there's a season of you know singleness. Um and yeah, how to prepare yourself and and if you're engaged or getting ready to be married, what maybe, you know, maybe we have some points that might help you and uh with our one year of of going through uh you know a Christian godly marriage.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

Yeah. And um I think something that is so important is you know talking to people that are further along in a journey. And I think of like our parents, I think of um grandparents, I think of just the advice we received on our wedding day. We had like these cards that talked about like what's your advice for the married couple, and just to gain some wisdom, of course, like wanting it to align with God, like godly wisdom. Yeah. Um, but that is so important. This is the perfect time. I just I don't know, I wanted to show this. Yeah. So also at our wedding, we had our a Bible um and we laid it out for people to highlight their favorite scripture. So this has been something cool to look back on and very special. Um, but again, just pointing to the importance of scripture and relating it to marriage, yeah. Along with advice.

SPEAKER_01 9:57

Yeah, and there was a there was a lot of a lot a lot of that in that where people would highlight a verse and they would put little side notes. Um that was either you know just kind of praying over our marriage, or if that was kind of just um giving little points to try to help us through through marriage with scripture.

SPEAKER_00 10:15

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So let's dive into dating. Yes. Um, we dated for was it like two years? Two years and months.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

Two years, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:25

And we did long distance um for like eight months at a time. So it'd be like eight months, and then we'd see each other on summer break, and then eight months again. And there was definitely hardship in that. Um, I found myself really growing a in a lot of ways, um, and good for bad and for bad, I think.

SPEAKER_02 10:44

Right.

SPEAKER_00 10:44

I think there was a time in our relationship where I really just focused on you, um, and that had the power to idolize you, right? And that's not what we want to do. Um, I think just that like missing you piece, but I've noticed the times where we had Christ in the center more is when we would grow so much. Um, so I really wanted to point out that piece of keeping Christ in the center of the relationship. It's so important, it's so fruitful.

SPEAKER_01 11:11

It is, no, it definitely, and I want to touch on kind of what you said about idolizing because um kind of understanding the circumstances of what we were going through is we met in the summer, um, so we hung out for three months, and then Kelsey went back up to college, right? And and we went to a season where seeing each other almost every day to um not being able to see each other. Maybe once a month. Yeah, once or twice a month. So we had these Bible studies in the summer, we were on fire, we were ready, right? And then kind of like what Kelsey said, when we spent that time together, instead of prioritizing God, I think we were kind of putting each other. I mean, I think it's okay to, you know, want to see each other and things like that, but I think it was becoming too much to where it was like we were almost idolizing each other. Yeah, we were putting each other over God.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

And the time that we did have to talk, whether it was like a phone call or a quick text, it was always very much about our days and not so much of like pointing to God, I'd say, because of the limited time that we felt we had, even though I'm looking back and I realize like we texted and called all the time. Yes, yeah as much as we could. So that to encourage you, that keeping Christ the center of the relationship is so important. And a Bible study you mentioned. Um, I think we started with Luke, and just being able to dive into the word, like the intimacy that that created the spiritual intimacy was so strong, and it created just like last episode, a firm foundation before I went back up to college. Um, and I think we did a book that was like Christian and long distance. We did that from time to time. So digging into the word was very, very important.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

Yeah, no, it definitely was. And if and if you aren't in a relationship, if you're single, uh, you know, you can tie this into your own life currently, right? Because you can you can do a Bible study with other believers. It doesn't have to be in a relationship, right? You can continue to further uh your walk with the Lord, you can gain knowledge, and as you as you continue to prepare yourself, God is going to be preparing somebody else for you.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Yes. Um, two things on that, like, even though we're married, even though we were in a dating relationship, I still had an individual relationship with Christ. Correct. We came to Christ together, but it's so important for you to continuously pour into your individual relationship. Um, I think of there's like this analogy, the triangle, where maybe it's husband or wife, or like boyfriend and girlfriend are at the corners, the bottom corners, and then the closer they get to the top corner, which is God, the closer they get to each other, and the closer you get to God, you know, that's through prayer. Um, praying for each other is so important, so powerful.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

There was a second thing I wanted to say. Oh, you mentioned again just that piece of seeking God as an individual, you know, whether you're single, whether you're in a relationship. Um, and I remember before I went through where I really focused on the Lord, there was a season where I wanted to fill that Jesus spot with another relationship or whatever that might be, maybe it was friendships at the time. But I remember my dad specifically saying, Seek first the kingdom and all will be added. And once my mindset shifted to that, again, that's when I met you.

SPEAKER_02 14:36

Right.

SPEAKER_00 14:36

So the importance of seeking Jesus, yes, before finding your husband, but also during. Right. Um, because if you don't have Christ at the center, whatever stage of life you're in, it's just it's it's not going to be a fruitful relationship, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Yeah, I I I love what you said there, and I think also I wanted to touch on prayer a little more because uh prayer is is is a big it's an important thing to do, and especially as a a uh husband now, and as I continue to again, uh we don't have it all figured out in one year of marriage, but uh prayer is very important with your your wife. So if you can start that foundation early to continue to um inhabit inhabit, but implement implement prayer uh into your relationship, if that's with with each other, praying with each other, praying for each other. Um that was super important. I think that was that was something that sometimes we lacked again in our relationship, um, but we laid it out very early, and I think it was there. Um and I yeah, again, I think that's something that is very powerful preparing yourself for a relationship for marriage um and in marriage as well. So I just wanted to touch on that.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

Yes, thank you for doing that. Um when talking about preparing for marriage, we we dated to marry, that was very clear at the start. Yeah, um, and I think dating to marry it just helps you to keep the mindset, the more biblical mindset, um, especially in a world where we are in hookup culture and where we are in situationships, and there's a lot of talk about that. But dating to marry really allows you to understand what the next season of life could look like and to start to live like that. Um so we were really we really were focused on waiting until marriage. Um and so if you're dating, the boundary aspect, the boundary piece is really important. Um, so we like had boundaries in place to help us stay true to that. Um also being vulnerable, uh vulnerability in a way where you are really vulnerable about what you're dealing with, um, whatever that might be, bringing it to God, but also letting your partner know to continue to develop that deeper relationship, you know. That's what really helped me because, like I said, um long distance was hard, and if I held in all of my emotions and all of my thoughts, it would have been hard for you to know what was going on.

SPEAKER_01 17:25

So yeah. Yeah, uh, I know you had touched on boundaries. Um, I think boundaries are very important, uh, especially again within dating. Um, like like Kelsey said, we we put up boundaries to stay pure um leading up until marriage. Uh, you know, I think of of today we have a lot of um people that you know move in together, right? Uh, and it's that brings temptation, right? Uh, you know, it that brings that that can bring temptation, you know, sex before marriage and and not staying pure. Um I also think there needs to be boundaries in play where especially in in your own in your own uh walk with Christ, right? You need to have those boundaries set up where um you know you guys have your time, you have your relationship with God, and and and the person you're with has also a relationship with God.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

God needs to be the number one in your life for sure.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

Yes, and especially in a marriage and a relationship. Um so yeah, I wanted to touch on that.

SPEAKER_00 18:35

Yeah. Um, so then we thought we'd add a little segment about engagement.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:40

We I always love to hear how people propose, and I thought that would be fun to share.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

So um I know we've shared the sauna story, uh, but I also have another story with um my mother-in-law. So as I was getting the ring, um, we had been engaged for what a year? Was it a year and a half or a year?

SPEAKER_00 19:03

Less than a year or something.

SPEAKER_01 19:04

Less than a year. It was close to a year. Yeah, eight to eight months.

SPEAKER_00 19:07

So ten months.

SPEAKER_01 19:09

Ten months. Okay, so when I went to go get the ring, I was like pumped. I I was ready. And so I I pulled out. I I again I was I was so excited, and I get to the stoplight, and you know, I'm I'm taking a right turn. And so I take a right turn and I went down a one way, and um, I almost hit somebody, so I I backed up, I I pulled off whatever, I was good, no crash. Um, and then I get a phone call from my mother-in-law, and she's like, Hey, was that you? And I was like, What are you talking about? She goes, Was that you, the person I almost hit? And I was like, No way. And she's like, Where were you coming from? And I was like, No, she knew.

SPEAKER_00 19:53

Which is weird because we didn't even talk about like a time with them when you would do it. Like you asked my dad permission, but um, and then my side of the story, because there's always a side, yep. I was on the phone with her, and all of a sudden I hear Peyton, and I was like, What? And she said, I gotta let you go. So then my gear started turning. I'm like, what is going on? Like, why is she running into Payton?

SPEAKER_01 20:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

Um, but I was still surprised.

SPEAKER_01 20:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 20:17

For the most part.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

Yeah, so um, I didn't really do anything like super crazy. It was kind of like spontaneous. I kind of had the ring, I didn't really have a plan, but um kind of just we what what what we got back from like a long vacation or something, and you were like super tired.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:39

And I was like, get ready.

SPEAKER_00 20:41

Yeah, and you yeah, I didn't want to get ready, and then my mom was like, choosing outfits, and that's also where I was like, hmm. So she was choosing different outfits for me to wear, and I chose one. And your thing, because I was gonna go back up to school literally eight days later, so we got maybe six, five, we got engaged, and then it was like, Okay, I'll see you um whatever weekend. But um oh, what was I saying?

SPEAKER_01 21:04

You were basically saying you were get you were getting your outfit.

SPEAKER_00 21:06

Oh yeah, and you had told me that we just had a p gotten a Polaroid for Christmas, and you were saying, I want to take a picture in our Polaroid each day, um, and we can choose you choose where to go. So I was like, Okay, let's go by the lake. So we went by the lake, and then that's where you proposed. But he started with taking a picture of me with the Polaroid, and then a picture, he had me take a picture of us, and then the third time he was like, Oh, I don't like that picture, let's do it again. So I took the picture, I was holding it like obviously the opposite way. Yeah, and I could see with the mirror that you had gotten down on one knee, and so I took a picture of like my genuine smile.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

So we have like the the true genuine smile and like the real picture. So that yeah, that was cool. Just a quick story, yeah, just a quick story. So um, so yeah, we just wanted to share engagement, but uh so we want to get back into to uh marriage and kind of talking about um what we've learned. And and again, if you aren't married, uh, you know, this is still valuable information because the this is things that you can take, um, and these are things that we've learned and and things that we've seen in our in our walk um and being married for one year. So um again, you don't have to be married to hear this information. You can still be single or if you're dating or engaged.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

So Ephesians 5, 25 through 33 is going to read.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

Yep. Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, to make her holy, cleansing, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church. For we are members of his body. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you must also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Okay, so I kind of want to go back to Verse 25, and I'm talking to the husbands here, uh, you know, the men, um, just reading about how important this verse really is. So in verse 25, it it tells us, husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Like, you know, you can read if you read that and don't think that that's a big deal, like it literally says that Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Like, Christ gave himself up for for Kelsey, for whoever your significant other is. So we are called to love our wives as as Christ loved the church. So that's a big statement there. Um I also wanted to read verse 26 because it says, to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word. Men, we are called to lead, right? As husbands, we are called to lead. So one of the things that we can lead by is is it says right here, by washing with water through the word. Read scripture and and use scripture over your wife or your significant other to lead her uh in times of struggle or hurt, but also yourself, right? Um, so it's important to read the word. Um last thing I wanted to talk about is verse 28. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. See, I think this is really in a in a perspective, it's very interesting to me because, right, like in in as we are raised and as we get older, we take care of ourselves, right? Like we feed ourselves, um, you know, we we drink water and all those things to to keep try to keep ourselves alive, right? Like basic necessities. Um so so yeah, it says that we ought to love our wives as our as our own bodies. So so we take care of our bodies, so we are called to to love our wives as we would take care of our own bodies. So um, yeah, I just kind of wanted to talk about that. Um, and then we have some points here talking about uh what we've learned and through marriage.

SPEAKER_00 25:37

Yep, our one year of marriage one year of marriage, which um that scripture kind of leads into your first thing that you said you had learned.

SPEAKER_01 25:44

Yes. What is it like to lead my wife? So um something that I've learned in this one year of marriage is in leading my wife, is in to be an example, to be a light, right? Like um when Kelsey is in a season where where she may be struggling, um, you know, it can be easy for me to uh you know kind of sit back and and be like, you know, I'm gonna let her figure that out. But as a husband, I'm supposed to lead the family, right? So I think prayer and and just like going up to her and praying for her, or if she's struggling, being like, hey, let's just pray right now. You know, that's that's uh something that you're supposed to do as a as a partner is be there for one another, as as believers in Christ, right? So um, you know, prayer is very important with with leading your wife. I think also um we kind of talked about this uh with somebody from um that I that I know is you can kind of see by how um a relationship is and and how the husband leads, because if the husband isn't Christ-centered and doesn't lead his wife well, you might see that in in the wife's actions because again, the husband is supposed to uh not have authority, but it it says here that the wife is supposed to submit to the husband, not in a humiliating way, but um in that sort of way. So uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:30

Right, and I think you bring up the word submit, I think it can get a negative connotation nowadays, but submitting just means like respecting and following your leadership, you know. And if your leadership is pointing to God, and if you are seeking God, like I'm going to submit to that, you know. Right. And the Bible calls us to submit as wives, so uh that's a very important point to say. Yes. For me, oh wait, no, your second ones are here. What else did you learn?

SPEAKER_01 27:57

So uh another thing I learned is giving conflict to God. Um, so you know, obviously me and Kelsey aren't perfect. We're gonna have our problems, we're gonna have our differences, um, there's gonna be things that we argue about. Um, you know, marriage isn't easy.

SPEAKER_00 28:16

No.

SPEAKER_01 28:16

Uh you have the spirit, you have the enemy um going at it hand in hand, right? So um I think when when we are going through conflict, when we're going through arguments, I think it's just realizing that to just let go of pride, right? Because a lot of conflict, the reason it keeps continuing to go is because of one person has pride saying, you know, I'm I'm just gonna continue to keep going with this because I want to win this conversation or want to win this argument. So I think I've learned, um, obviously I haven't perfected it, but there's seas where there's times where I I catch myself where I just need to give this to God.

SPEAKER_00 28:56

Yeah, pray in the moment.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

Yeah, just pray in the moment. I need to say, hey God, like, you know, let let me allow me to let go of my pride and and let's just resolve this in a loving and and godly way.

SPEAKER_00 29:09

Something I can do better at.

SPEAKER_01 29:11

Can't we all?

SPEAKER_00 29:12

Um, a couple of things that I learned, well, this was already known, and I think it's kind of obvious, but like your husband is going to support you. But like, I feel like my husband is my number one supporter, and I mean that in a way of it's just been so comforting to know that if I have a hard day, I can come home. I can tell him my thought processes processes. That does not sound right. My thought process on my brain. My thought process and not feel judged and feel loved by you and led by you and pointed to God by you. Um, and also in a goofy way, like you support my goofiness, and I just feel like you're doing life with your best friend, and that's such a beautiful thing.

SPEAKER_02 29:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:55

And I mean, before our podcast, we were being goofy, and it's it's a later start time, so it's 9 p.m. But I love being goofy with you. Yes, it is fun. Uh, another thing that I've learned this past year is that it's not you can't be selfish in a marriage. I mean, you can be, but if you are wanting to reflect God, a godly marriage, you can't be selfish. Like everything has to kind of be in an agreement. Where do you want to eat? Where do you want to even if like you agree to let me choose one time, or like if I it's like compromise, right? Um, so really just how sacrificial marriage is, you're denying yourself a lot of times, and that's okay. And I think it's such a beautiful thing to learn because it points back to the verse of um take up your cross every day. Um it's kind of just like a reflection of that. So that has been so cool to see how sacrificial you've been, how sacrificial I can be. Um, of course, I can grow in that, and I think that our human nature, we want to be selfish, but it's an act, it's a choice to lay down my pride, whatever that may be, lay down my desires, and make sure to agree. And it goes back to that one flesh, you know, it's an act of obedience of um becoming one, truly.

SPEAKER_01 31:12

Yeah. I also want to uh something just popped in my mind. Uh, you know, obviously the topic is is love. Um the there was something that kind of I wanted to touch on again, is like in a relationship, there may be times where it's hard to love, right? That that's it it's difficult to, but I think that the biblical like you look at the Bible and you are given a partner for a reason, like like that partner is is for life, right? Um and you are coming together as one flesh to walk alongside each other and make your walks in life easier. Um so so yeah, love all loving somebody isn't always going to be easy, you know. It may be difficult in seasons. Um, but yeah, I just wanted to touch on that.

SPEAKER_00 32:09

No, thank you for saying that. I think of um God creating Adam and Eve, and I believe he described the woman as the helper. So again, going back to I hope that's right. I really think that's right. Um double check, it's in Genesis, but I believe he does describe the woman as the helper. I will make the man a helper. And so it goes back to how we are a team now. Um and our goal, like we're very kingdom-minded. I we use that word a lot. Like, that's our desire to be kingdom-minded, and we're not always perfect in that, but you know, this world is temporary and we want to point Jesus people to Jesus. Yeah, so now we're a team and how we do that. Um we also do it as individuals, but we're stronger because I gain wisdom from you if I'm like, oh my goodness, I don't know what to say. This person reached out to me, or my friend said this, and will you please help me understand how to point them in the right direction? Right. Or vice versa, like that may happen, but we're stronger together, right? And it's such a beautiful thing.

SPEAKER_01 33:07

Yeah, I think it goes back to uh one flesh. I think you've heard that where um where it talks about you leave your your father and mother and and you and you become one flesh with with your significant other, right? And to Kelsey and I, we've talked about this before where you kind of just read that and you're like, okay, one flesh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know, you get the image, like whatever. Uh, but once we got married and had that covenant where we are now conjoined by by God, like like me and Kelsey are are are married, um, and God is at the center of it, like we really can explain it, but it's just more of a feeling that you can feel that sense of becoming one flesh, with it's like uh we talked about feeling more spiritually connected and just like emotionally connected. Um, and I don't know, we just became closer, um, and and it just helped us to grow, I feel like, in our relationship with the Lord together.

SPEAKER_00 34:05

Yes, and uh oh sorry, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 34:07

No, I was done.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

And the topic of one flesh, like I kind of touched on, allows us to have a mindset of okay, we need to agree on this together, we need to put aside ourselves and just that sacrificial love piece. Yeah. So it's a beautiful thing.

SPEAKER_01 34:22

Yes. So that kind of wraps up our our marriage um aspect of this. Yeah. Uh we kind of wanted to encourage the people again that that are in seasons of uh maybe being date in dating uh or being single. Um and I think that the Lord meets you right where you're at. Uh you listened to Kelsey and I's story. We went through breakups, yeah, we prayed, we consent we continued to pursue Christ, we were obedient to Christ. And God, you you you can see in that season, God prepared our hearts. God was preparing us both at the same time. Like we you got like we we literally hear that in our stories.

SPEAKER_00 35:02

And I also think a season of singleness is such a beautiful thing. Um, at least for me it was, because I was able to grow in ways that again prepared me to be in a dating relationship, but then eventually marriage. Um, but I know that I also yearned so badly for um a boyfriend, a husband at one time.

SPEAKER_01 35:22

It's so hard, like it really is so hard going through that season because you have you have to have patience. Um, and you know, it's kind of something that especially if you're kind of at our age where um you know you're kind of in the season of wanting to be married. You're you're you know, if you're starting a new job or um, you know, getting older, I think that that you strive to want to be married. So singleness can be difficult because you're kind of in that isolation spot where the enemy can can attack because the enemy attacks in isolation.

SPEAKER_00 35:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:58

Uh but also just again be patient, so difficult.

SPEAKER_00 36:01

Yes, but stand firm and trust in God and seek him first. And um, you know, like I touched on earlier, the world offers a temporary love, a love that is not of God. I mentioned hookup culture, situationships, whatever it might be. Um, and it's usually like a love that ends up hurting you, but genuinely seeking the Lord um and seeking his desire for you, his purpose for you is going to be such an important piece in I think any season of your life for sure. Um, and again, we dated to Mary and that shifted our mindset. So I just encourage you that whatever season you might not you might be in, whether it's dating or singleness, um, having Christ in the center of your life is so important. Um, and wanting his ways, his ways are so good, his ways are better. Yes. Um, so just encouragement to you.

SPEAKER_01 36:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:54

I did you have something to add?

SPEAKER_01 36:56

No, that was it.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

I wanted to end with a quote, and these were in my vows, and this has been a quote that's been very important to me. I think I was introduced to it like my junior year of college. It's by Timothy Keller. It says, To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear, but to be fully known and truly loved is well a lot like being loved by God. God loves us so much, He knows us fully. Um, He loves us fully. And I don't know, I just wanted to read that that quote because it really It was powerful. It is still powerful for me, but maybe that will just allow you to understand God's love for you and to know how truly He sees you as a daughter or a son of God and that He's got you in whatever season you might be. And this is our story, and we hope that it encouraged you. And it was we've had hardships, we still have hardships. It was a season of waiting for both of us when we were single, yeah. You know, um, but the Lord uses your story for good, and I hope that our story is kind of a reflection of that, right?

SPEAKER_01 38:05

Yeah, and we have evidence of of uh of going through a season of singleness, being patient, right? Staying obedient to to what God had us do. Um, I think we we touched on having boundaries uh to stay pure in dating and and what that looks like to um have those boundaries as well as having your own personal relationship and continuing to build that um as you lean towards marriage. Um and then again, we also touched on um being married and you know, maybe some of the struggles, um, some of the things that that we look back on and say, you know, this is where this is where we grew, this is what we learned, um, and continue to do that. So yeah, I hope that helped guys and um is that it?

SPEAKER_00 39:00

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 39:01

Alright, well, we'll see you guys next week and have a good week.

SPEAKER_00 39:05

Yes, thank you for listening. See you guys.

SPEAKER_01 39:06

Bye.