Ryan Meyer: Why Men & Relationships Feel Off Right Now

Part 1: Our favorite rock drummer, and unofficial therapist, Ryan Meyer is back for a real, unfiltered conversation about masculinity, identity, and why so many people feel disconnected right now.

We get into what’s happening with young men. Like the lack of grounded role models, the influence of the Manosphere, and the pressure to figure out who they’re supposed to be in a world that keeps shifting. And … how that’s showing up in relationships.

We talk about:

- What healthy masculinity actually looks like
- Why young men feel lost or confused right now
- The rise of the Manosphere documentary (and why it’s gaining traction)
- Relationship roles — and how they’ve changed
- The disconnect between men and women today
- Confidence vs ego vs emotional intelligence
- Pregnancy, productivity, and the pressure to keep up

This isn’t about blaming men or women. It’s about understanding what’s missing and how we can actually show up better for ourselves and each other.

If you’ve felt like something is off in dating, relationships, or just the way people are navigating life right now… this conversation will land.

Subscribe, rate, commet to support and stay up to day on more real, unfiltered conversations on relationships, identity, and living like a pretty messy human.

Follow Ryan Meyer: https://www.instagram.com/ryanmeyer/

Follow Whitney on IG: @whitnlove

TikTok: @whitnlove

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:03

She's out. You can see it over there, Dad. My belly on the screen. I just didn't know if I wanted to really bring it out today. I was a little nervous. I was a little self-conscious. I'm still getting used to having a belly. And it's an interesting thing when you catch yourself in the mirror and you're like, oh, who, who and what is that? Yeah. And so I just didn't really know about how I was going to feel about having my belly out. But then you, of course, talked me off the ledge, as one does 47 times a week. Um 48. And yeah, you were talking about how it's great to see pregnant ladies. Like people celebrate pregnant ladies, you know, and they celebrate someone who's embarking on that journey. And they want to be around that. And it's like a really cool phase of life. And I do feel that, but sometimes that's not the narrative that we hear as much, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

Yeah. You mean like less people are stoked about kids?

SPEAKER_01 1:08

I guess. It seems like less people are stoked about kids, are they?

SPEAKER_00 1:12

I think so. I think we're having a population issue. I mean, I play drums in a rock band. I'm not like a I don't know, expert on the subject, but but yeah, I mean, I think I've seen some recent recent polling, and I mean shit, you can't trust anything you see online these days, anyways, but like it seems like most women are not really concerned or interested in having kids.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Mm-hmm. Or a lot of them, maybe. Yeah. More so than the than prior.

SPEAKER_00 1:42

Right. Yeah, it seems like at least from the things that I've seen, and who knows, but it just seems like men are more interested in having children than women are. Which isn't it, that's true. That's not good because men can't do the they can't do the babying.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

So Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

You know?

SPEAKER_01 1:59

I have a little bit of a theory on that. I think it's because our society, we have pumped up women, which is a it has a good thing, but it also has a dark side to be like these boss bitches. Like you need to grind, you need hustle culture, be a boss bitch. You don't need no man, you don't need any of this. Like you can do it all on yourself. Cool. Some of that is like a good message, like go chase the thing that you want to chase. But then if somebody wants babies, then it's like, oh, wait a minute. So I have to do, I have to run a company, I have to run a household, I have to have a baby, and I have to bear that baby. So I have to do all of that. And it's just that's unreal. I'm gonna say it. I think it's unrealistic to put that much pressure and that much, like, what's the word I'm looking for? Just that much on somebody. No wonder you wouldn't want to have a baby. Like, that's way too much for somebody to carry all the time, 24-7. You have to show up and be this Bosch Bitz hustler, and you have to be mama and you have to be a wife.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:09

And a good partner. Like, how the hell are you gonna do that? That's a lot.

SPEAKER_00 3:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

You're gonna lack in some areas and you're gonna stress yourself out. And then even with the whole boss bitch movement, there is this burnout. You're gonna hit burnout at some point, regardless if it's in your career, your family, or with your partner, if you're pushing that hard all the time.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

Yeah. I this is this could get touchy real quick, and I don't really want to get into like a dividing kind of conversation.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

Did I just piss a lot of people off?

SPEAKER_00 3:41

No. No, you said what you mean, and I and I I agree with it.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

I'm not saying that it can't be done. I'm just saying I think that's probably one of the reasons why women are questioning having kids.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

Right.

SPEAKER_01 3:54

Because they have so much more responsibility.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

Yes. And I think a lot of that came from it started as in a good place, but I think a lot of that comes from uh women want wanting to do what men do. Um which you know, if that's your choice, if that's what you want to do, then then go for it. But there's like a there's like a marketing behind it now. It's almost like changing people's minds that no, I want to do what men do. Well, men do what men do because they can't do what women do. And no one's talking about that really. Like you have a superpower, you can grow a human in your belly. Like men don't have that. We have whatever the hell we do, you know what I mean? Building shit, inventing stuff or whatever, like, but we do that all for women because you can you continue the species. So, like for the sake of humanity, you need to have babies and we need to protect and provide for you. Um, but that's not the narrative that we see in a lot of uh society. We see a narrative that is well, like boss bitch, you know what I mean? Like women are out there working big jobs that are all consuming and take all their time, and they don't have the time to make babies if they're doing that. And if that's their choice, then that's totally fine. And you know, like I I do support that.

SPEAKER_01 5:20

Well, there's some women that absolutely love that, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

So more powered too. And like, God bless America, you can do whatever the fuck you want here.

SPEAKER_01 5:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:29

But also, if you if the masses is being marketed this mentality and um and everyone starts doing it, then no one's having babies. And then we're gonna start dying out eventually. You know, it's like a no one sees it immediately. It's not an eminent problem. This is like, you know, two generations from now kind of situation, but it's still a situation.

SPEAKER_01 5:56

Yeah. And I mean, because we have this conversation this week because I had like a meltdown pretty much when it was coming to like how we see or how okay, how I saw productivity within pregnancy. And that was a hard one for me because I am that person who kind of identified as the hyper-independent boss bitch girl who like does the things that I'm scared of, does the things that I say I'm going to do. And what's probably one of the reasons why I didn't want kids my entire life because I thought they were gonna make my life smaller and not make my life bigger. So I was like, I don't, I don't want them. Why they're gonna hold me back. Now I'm pregnant, and I've said this before multiple times. I can't believe I ever felt that way. Like your brain clicks, it rewires itself. You're not thinking the same way that you were before you got pregnant. It's the craziest thing. And so I'm still running off of this botch boss bitch. I need to be hyper ambitious mindset while being pregnant. And like there was a big rub for me, and it was stressing me out to the gills. Like I could not enjoy anything, it felt like. I just always felt like I was behind, and I wasn't seeing building a baby and like creating life as productive. I was, I was still garnering a lot of my self-worth, am still garnering a lot of my self-worth, even though I'm working on it, from what I produce, what I create, what money I bring in, and not what my superpower inherently is, which is creation of another human.

SPEAKER_00 7:46

Yeah. I think uh you were kind of downplaying your ability to make another human. Like it it wasn't that big of a deal, like yeah, I mean I'm doing it, but I could be doing all these other things. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're doing that. That's a big deal. Right? Like you're not just you know, feeling unproductive because you the only thing you did today was clean the kitchen. Yeah, the only thing you did you did today was you grew toes. What? Like that's crazy. And I can't do it. So you know what I mean? Maybe we're not all that equal in that in that regard, and maybe we should celebrate our differences a little bit, you know?

SPEAKER_01 8:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

Let me stress out because the only thing I did today was was clean the kitchen. I should have been more productive, I should have brought more food home, I should have brought more money home to feed the family. Let me stress about that. That's my job. You shouldn't stress. You you're I mean, your day-to-day, you don't really do a lot um for pregnancy. It kind of just is like on autopilot.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:04

But that's still a big deal, you know, especially like when you hit pregnancy brain and you're like, I can't think straight today or whatever. Like, there's a reason for that.

SPEAKER_01 9:13

Man, I got pregnancy brain.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

Yeah, the first trimester was rough for you.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

Oh, I think I'm getting it worse now.

SPEAKER_00 9:19

Really?

SPEAKER_01 9:20

I was going somewhere yesterday and I missed three exits. I added 30 minutes to where I was supposed to go. And I pride myself on like knowing where to go and when to go and like getting in there as quickly as humanly possible, but safe. Like I am efficient. I miss three exits. Ugh. So frustrating. Also, we have this thing called like relax something rather, relaxant. I don't know what it's called, but you also start dropping things a lot more. And so I wake up much earlier than you, and I get up and I'm trying to be quiet, and I I can't, for the life of me, keep a single thing in my hands.

SPEAKER_00 9:57

Really?

SPEAKER_01 9:58

Yeah, it's annoying. So I feel like I have a pregnancy brain.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

Is that a common thing?

SPEAKER_01 10:05

Dropping things?

SPEAKER_00 10:06

This relaxant.

SPEAKER_01 10:07

Yeah, you have to do it. It relaxed so you can give birth, it relaxes your muscles and your ligaments.

SPEAKER_00 10:12

Oh wow, so it's like a like a precursor to birth, your body's like prepping for it.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

Yeah, like how you make more blood, you also make this thing to help you relax your body and be able to stretch. Oh, they don't like when I was at prenatal Pilates, they were talking about not doing like very fast twitch movements because you can pull a muscle really easily.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

Oh. Hey, in post, can we put like a star and a rainbow over her head and it just says more the more you know?

SPEAKER_01 10:43

Ready? Yeah, I mean, pregnancy classes with Whitney. I'm like, what's that thing? It's called like relax, relaxant, relaxer, yeah. You know, that thing that your body releases with Whitney. Yeah, exactly. Don't listen to me. Seriously, I'm just flying blind because no one tells you what's going on going on in pregnancy. It is crazy. Can we talk about something that we watched over the weekend?

SPEAKER_00 11:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

The manosphere.

SPEAKER_00 11:08

Oh, yeah. It was kind of cringy.

SPEAKER_01 11:11

Kind of cringy?

SPEAKER_00 11:12

It's kind of cringy.

SPEAKER_01 11:14

It was astronomically cringy. Cringe mode initiated to the max. I just, I don't know. We have to talk about it because it goes into like masculinity and we were already talking about femininity and like people's roles and whatever. Yeah. But like honestly, my thing first and foremost, before we get into this, you this is like a 22, 20, a lot of them are 22, 23-year-old dudes whose frontal lobe isn't even fully formed. You've hardly lived any life. You're probably just out of mama and daddy's house, and you're telling people how to be a man. You're a child. You look like you're 12. You think those are big muscles? They can't even get big enough yet because you're not a man enough yet. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

A lot of them are on all kinds of stuff too. Like TRC.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

Well, that's gonna be great for them later on in life.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

When they realize what masculinity and manhood is because they lived long enough to get there.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

Yeah. You know, I really actually loved the the guy who put that documentary together. I loved him too.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

He did a great job.

SPEAKER_00 12:17

He really grew on me quite a bit. Um, and I I like what he touched on is that like there is this sort of um there's there is this growing how do I word this? I think there's a void of healthy masculinity being taught to young men in the world. There is a void being filled with young men that don't have the right idea of what masculinity is projecting what they think it is. And so that's why you're getting traditional values mixed in with um monogamous relationships and non-monogamous, you mean non-right, non-monogamous relationships where they're married, they have kids, but they also have multiple girl girlfriends.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

But they also have a one-sided monogamous relationship.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

Yeah, that's what I'm getting at, is that there's nothing really teaching men to be masculine and powerful, but also be um courteous and kind and chivalrous. It's almost like that died, and there's toxic masculinity um and nothing else. It's like it's almost like masculine is a bad thing. Feminism, feminism is a good thing, and everything that men does is is bad. But be this doesn't mean that men are gonna stop being men, they're just gonna go into the world with the wrong idea. And all the men that that he interviews, and we haven't even finished it, but I so far a lot of them grew up without fathers in a broken home. They're pretty young, successful entrepreneurs and just kind of scamming people, it seems. And I think there's something to be said for the way men used to be raised in very, very traditional families where you had multi-generational homes where you had an old man teaching a young boy how to be a man, a man that had lived his whole life, had learned all the wrongs, and already gone through all the hiccups, and he had good values to teach a young man. And when you have young men who haven't gone through that teaching young men how to be men, you have the blind lead and the blind. And he highlights a really massive issue we have in society. Masculinity doesn't have to be bad, just like where's the chivalry? Where's where's the like be the big strong man that opens doors and takes care of your people and is kind and polite, but could also fuck you up. Like, why doesn't that exist in in mass scale? I feel like that is what creates a strong society, you know?

SPEAKER_01 15:15

I absolutely agree. I think the reason why we don't see more of that is because it's not clickbaity and we live yeah, it's not extreme. They can't monetize it. And so I think these boys who are teaching about manhood um are saying things for shock factor, and they know that people are going to click on it, and the more people click on it, the more they get paid, and they all they want is to get paid, is to get paid. So, and this might be controversial. Some of the stuff in there isn't terrible advice. A lot of it is terrible, don't get me wrong, but they start off pretty good and then they just take it so extreme. You're like, oh yeah, I'm on board. Okay, yeah, like work for what you really want in life, don't expect the world to hand you things. Cool, I can totally get on board with that. And then they just they just make it bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. And you're like, whoa, bro, you really took it all way too far and just lost us all.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

Right. You know, you had me for the first half, yes.

SPEAKER_01 16:16

Um, and so some some of the information I think is really good and can help people because not all of it is just dumb. No, but it's mixed in there with also misleading stuff, and that's what people are watching more of because it gets more clicks, and then that's what these young children are following and learning how to be a man from. And it's so extreme. It's like learning how to have sex from porn. It's not, it's a performative.

SPEAKER_00 16:45

You're the sex expert.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

When you watch porn, it is not real, it's fake, it's performative. They are they have the perfect lighting, the girls know where to put their hair, they know when to moan, they know when to do X, Y, and Z. They are trained to preform a certain way to get more clicks and to get that person to where they want to go the fastest way as humanly possible. So if you're going to learn how to educate yourself on how to please a woman or yeah, please a woman with porn, you're behind the ball here, dude. You're really behind the ball. And it's also very male focused, you know. Um, God, I wish I knew the stat right now, but I think it's like 80% of women do not come from penetration alone. And that is what they show on porn. It's mainly P and the V constantly, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. She's freaking out. 80% of women do not orgasm like that. I mean, hello. Maybe we should start doing some other things here. And if you are trying to please your woman by only doing that, you're there's only 20% of people out there. And that doesn't not mean that all y'all are this big stallion who's nah, I'm the exception. I got my girl that way. Okay, probably not. Anyways, that's my um it's my uh what's it called? Rant.

SPEAKER_00 18:16

That was good. I didn't want to interrupt.

SPEAKER_01 18:21

And I did use to host a two sex and wild love podcast where we talk to many porn stars, by the way, and about this specific thing and porn directors. So I'm not just pulling this out of my butt.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

Right. No, you're right. It's totally it's made for the men that are watching it.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

Yes, and it's a play. You're watching a play. Might as well just go to like a Broadway porn show and be like, oh yeah, let her go.

SPEAKER_00 18:45

It's like watching a Jason Bourne movie and being like, oh yeah, I know how to fight somebody.

unknown 18:50

Yeah. Really?

SPEAKER_01 18:52

I mean, listen, you could probably pick up some tips.

SPEAKER_00 18:54

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

Tips and tricks.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

Yeah, but then you're gonna go try to kill somebody with a pencil and it's just not gonna work out for you.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

That's funny. But yeah, anyways, to circle back, I do feel like that's how um the manosphere is is basically teaching masculinity.

SPEAKER_00 19:11

Yeah, it's unfortunate. I don't know what to do about it.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

Some bitch about it, but if our unborn son, let's say he's 15 and he comes to you and he's like, like, what is a man? Like, what makes me a good man? What would you tell him?

SPEAKER_00 19:31

Um, well, that I mean that's shit. That's assuming that we already haven't had this conversation a few times leading up to him being 15.

SPEAKER_01 19:38

Well, I mean, you know.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

I think well, I think it's hard to to tell a 15-year-old in one sentence or one conversation. I think it's about I think it's important to raise boys to be men. It's a slow burn. They have to they have to touch the stove to know it's hot. They have to make mistakes and be corrected. Because that's what that's what children do. They they they test boundaries to to learn. Um but I it it really it's just about uh instilling the the principles that I I think makes a a good man. Um I think that a good man should first and foremost be strong. I don't think that they're uh off there. I think teaching men to hit the gym is a really good thing. Um it's fucking fantastic for mental illness and it gives you um the ability to overcome doing hard things so you don't you know bitch out because life is hard. So that's positive. Um but but I think also it's it teaches men to this manosphere thing teaches men to ignore um emotions. Um which is not necessarily a manosphere thing, it's it kind of goes way better. Yeah, yeah. That's kind of a that's kind of a bigger issue that's getting folded into the manosphere, but you know, it's it's interesting that part. Um not to go too far off a tangent here, but men and women both have feelings. But growing up as a man, you're told that feelings are feminine. So don't feel them. But men feel them. We get angry and sad and depressed and lonely and happy and all the things. But if you suppress those things and you don't know how to deal with them, you lack you know, uh emotional intelligence. So I think being a man is um being strong physically, but also being strong mentally as well. That's a massive thing that is not really being taught to to kids.

SPEAKER_01 21:58

And like emotionally intelligent. You know, it's like I find it very attractive and being able to trust somebody when they say how they feel. Right? Because if I'm like, hey babe, how are you today? Like everything's fine. And you don't ever really open up to me, we're not gonna go deep. We're not gonna have we're gonna have a very superficial relationship, and that's going to make me not want to open up to you either. Yeah. So we can only go so far in that. And I think like really there's it is cliche, but it's like that quote of you know, vulnerability isn't a weakness, it's actually a strength.

SPEAKER_00 22:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

And that's how I feel about men sharing their emotions. It's a strength, it shows that you're strong, it doesn't show that you're weak.

SPEAKER_00 22:47

Yeah. I I when I when I talk to a lot of my friends about um how something made me feel or or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

Guys don't talk about anything. They don't talk, no, they don't. Man, I can't get any anything.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

I feel so uh alone in that regard.

SPEAKER_01 23:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:04

A lot of my friends.

SPEAKER_01 23:05

Well, yes, because it's just normal to not talk about anything. It's like, and I know girls all we all feel this. We'd be like, you your friend breaks up with somebody, right? And then we're like, so what happened? Are they good? Like, I mean, you just spent all day with them, and like no one, you get zero information. Like, I don't know. We talked about golf and and surfing, and then you know what what was broken on the car earlier. And I'm like, how did you not just talk about the fact that he just ended his engagement of 47 years with somebody like you know what I mean? I mean, but it's just like it doesn't matter how close you are to that person in a man group, it's so normal to not talk about the things that are plaguing them on the deepest level and just go straight for like, yeah, that the car stick.

SPEAKER_00 23:55

Yeah. I'm like, how are you guys are you guys friends? They people become really good at at the like surface level bravado, like, hey, we'll stop, bro! And like they're really good at that. And then if you start talking to them about something deeper, you can kind of see it in their eyes, they're kind of just like searching for words and not really sure what to do. They're second-guessing themselves or worried about what other people are gonna think about them. They use very simple language.

SPEAKER_01 24:18

Well, how do you think you got more comfortable talking about your feelings?

SPEAKER_00 24:25

Therapy.

SPEAKER_01 24:26

So, do you think you weren't super comfortable talking about it up to that point, and then you got into therapy and it and it shifted it for you, or do you feel like you've kind of always been more open to that?

SPEAKER_00 24:38

No, I think I just didn't really know how to do it.

SPEAKER_01 24:41

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

And um, I mean, we talked we talked about this on the last podcast, but you know, I had to become a broken version of myself and and seek help. Um, and when you're in a doctor's office with someone who's got a PhD in human emotions, you you you start to learn from them, like not saying I'm a therapist now or I have a PhD, but I think you're like an unofficial therapist. Like to a lot of a lot of people I am, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

It's crazy. His advice, he says things so much more eloquent than I do. I feel like I'm not talking about it, and he's like, And it makes total sense.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

Sometimes I'm exactly the the same way too. Sometimes I'm a fucking dumbass. Everybody is ties into um confidence, you know. Like if you're confident in a in a certain subject, like say we're talking about geopolitics and I know what the fuck I'm talking about, then I'm gonna be confident in entering that conversation. But we're talking about emotions and I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm probably gonna avoid that conversation. I'm gonna say that I lack interest in that. Um, I might gaslight you to keep you away from from talking about if you keep pressing because I'm afraid to go there.

SPEAKER_01 26:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:00

You know what I mean? And I'm gonna validate it in my head that I don't I don't want to go there because it's not a fun subject to talk about. And so I don't want to talk about it. No, it's probably not fun, but it's probably beneficial to you. Especially like if if we're talking about it because said person is hurting and needs some help. But I mean, everyone's got their own way of doing things.

SPEAKER_01 26:26

Yeah. I mean, I feel like I feel like I even still have trouble talking about my emotions. I'm a a shutter downer, you know? I like to You are? Yeah, I like to avoid. That's my personal preference. You get never mind, I won't talk about that. I'd rather be happy. He go there with me. Well, yeah, it's because I feel safe enough to go there with you. And but I wasn't always that way, you know, like, and I had a lot of practice of like forcing myself to talk about really uncomfortable situations like from my past open relationships and stuff. I didn't have a choice. It was like I had to talk about the things that I didn't want to talk about on your podcast too, right? Yeah, everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 27:11

Yeah, all the time, everywhere, all the time.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

Even if I didn't understand it, like you were saying, I didn't have confidence in in talking about it because I didn't even understand my own emotions at that time. So I then I had to talk about it publicly. Trying to process it in real time in front of people is a trip. Yeah, and that's really hard.

SPEAKER_00 27:30

And then you know you're gonna get judged super hard on everything you say. Oh my god, for sure. So then that's gonna hold you up. And so then you're not gonna really talk all that eloquently about it.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

No. And so I think that was a big thing for me. But even like my upbringing, it wasn't, you know, show your emotions all the time and learn how to talk about your emotions. It was just like move through them to just do the things that you need to do, which has helped me in life, but it also made me pretty prone to avoiding things a lot of the times. And so, yes, now I feel much more confident and safe in the relationship to speak what's going on within me. Um, but that also doesn't mean that I that I feel 100% confident in it. Like a lot of the times I still feel insecure and I still doubt what's going on internally, but I know that, okay, I mean, we're married. If I can't tell Ryan this, then what the fuck is going on? You know, that's not the type of relationship that I want to have. And I'm unwilling to do that because I feel like it's death by a thousand paper cuts. You keep doing that over and over and over again, and it's going to be a detriment to you, your relationship. And that's the last thing that I want. So I'd rather put myself in the uncomfortable situation to prove to myself that I can talk about it, bring us closer together, and probably strengthen our relationship in the process of that.

SPEAKER_00 28:58

Agreed.

SPEAKER_01 28:59

Oh God, I'm out of breath. It's crazy. I'll tell you what.

SPEAKER_00 29:06

Everything men do is for women. I mean, uh, every straight man, I should say.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

I was gonna say, like mainly.

SPEAKER_00 29:14

What about what about men with infidelity? Is that for women or is that for personal gain? They they wish they didn't have infidelity. But I mean, and there's there's outliers, but there's what I'm taking, what I'm saying is a very generalized statement that everything a man does in the life in his life, once he grows out of his adolescence and becomes an adult, he's doing it for uh his partner. If um if he's alone in life, everything he's doing is for nothing, and that makes him depressed. Male depression is through the roof. Um, yeah, what you were saying earlier, um, women have become stronger and smarter, and they have uh pushed away from needing men. And I think that was caused because when men had a shitload of power back in the madmen era, they unfortunately abused it and did not make women as precious as they should be. Um, and so women have reacted like on a whole and pushed away from men, and men have been left feeling useless, and that's causing masculinity to spiral into a bad place, and it needs to be saved. I don't know if I'm the guy to do it, but I think like men should be masculine, they should be strong, they should be powerful and protect, and they should take care of shit, but they should also be respectful and gracious to women because without them, we're we're nothing. And without women, without men, women are nothing. They'll just die out if they don't, if they if they don't make babies, like the population will literally fucking cease to exist. So it's about having that balance and that that gratitude for one another and acknowledging our differences that together we can thrive. But I don't think that's what's happening right now. We're having a cause and effect, we're having women reacting to the way men used to be, and men are kind of lost and confused and desperate and seeking for some seeking some kind of answer to why they're feeling the way that they are. And then this manosphere thing thing over here is like, well, I have the answers. Like, you know, fuck bitches, get money, do exactly what you want, take care of yourself. Um, and that's the wrong answer, too. You know, it's there's there, I don't really know what to do about it. There's because there's good in bad, and you can't you can't expect a young man, a child, to pick through what all these guys are saying and say, like, well, I agree with this and I don't agree with that. They're gonna agree with all of it because they're lost and confused and depressed. They don't know how to communicate, they don't know how to talk to women, they don't have emotional intelligence. The number one thing I hear from women is that men don't communicate across the board a hundred times, a hundred percent. It's like well, I guess if men learned how to communicate and learned how to talk about how they feel, then then then you would kind of that would kind of take care of things. So I don't know, I guess it just maybe it's just uh about normalizing um emotional intelligence, nor not normalizing talking about feelings and and things like that, and and and kind of creating that trend might help.

SPEAKER_01 32:38

Do you think like outside of therapy for men, are there like what would you recommend for someone to try to become better at this if they just let's say they didn't have access to therapy or they I don't know, don't have the money for it.

SPEAKER_00 32:58

But they do, they have access to anything. We live in the age of information.

SPEAKER_01 33:02

That's true.

SPEAKER_00 33:03

You have a phone, you know it's you could use social media for good, you could use it for bad. You can look at, you know, basically porn on it. Um, or you could follow pages that you know talk about this kind of thing. I think that's really the big thing is just talking about it, being being open to learning something. If you if you think that you know everything about a subject and you're unwilling to be wrong, you stunt your growth. You're no longer going to grow because you feel like you have grown as much as you can, which is impossible. Right. I mean, BB King was taking guitar lessons until the day he died.

SPEAKER_01 33:41

Right.

SPEAKER_00 33:42

So that's that's where I would start. It was just pick a pick a lane and go. And then the more you do it, the more you start learning, and then you get curious about something else, you get curious about something else, and your tree grows.

SPEAKER_01 33:55

We're gonna roll on to the next episode. But if you liked this episode, subscribe, like, comment, rate, do all of the things because the algorithm gods listen to you. They don't listen to me. So help your girl out.