When You Struggle With Fear & Guilt With Whitney

 Solo episode on why your fear doesn't show up when your 
dream is far away and why she gets the loudest she's ever 
been the second you're about to cross the finish line. 

i'm 27 weeks pregnant recording this with full pregnancy brain, 
so saddle up. we get into:

– the book deal i almost talked myself out of
– a real pregnancy update at 27 weeks (and the guilt i've been 
carrying around for actually loving it)
– the lie about "geriatric pregnancy" and why the timeline is fake
– why hiding your good thing doesn't help anyone — it just 
teaches the next woman the good thing doesn't exist
– the truth about the ick you feel when somebody else is winning
– how to tell the difference between fear talking and intuition 
talking
– the one question that will end-run your fear every time
– the chat gpt podcast i had to call out (you'll know who)

if you're standing at your own finish line right now and 
suddenly inventing twelve reasons why now isn't the 
right time — congratulations. you're close. Let me talk to you about it. 

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CHAPTERS

00:00  27 weeks pregnant, pregnancy brain warning
03:00  why i'm still whitney miller (for now)
05:30  the pregnancy story you don't hear
09:00  the "geriatric" pregnancy lie
14:00  the guilt of having a good thing
19:00  i was the girl judging the happy couples
22:00  be a damn lighthouse
25:00  your girl got a book deal
28:00  how to pick the right team (publisher, agent, anyone)
30:00  fear at the finish line
33:00  fear is slippery and well-researched
35:00  birth, boundaries, and the same fear
37:00  her volume is your distance
42:00  the chat gpt podcast that pissed me off
45:00  AI wants to be human while we're losing being human

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📖 PRETTY MESSY HUMAN: For People Tired Of Their Own BS — the 
book is officially happening. follow @prettymessyhumans & @whitnlove so you 
don't miss release info.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What is going on, my pretty messy humans? I'm Whitney Miller, your host. Actually, I'm Whitney Meyer, I guess, but I haven't changed my name because it's just like hard. It's annoying. Going to the DMV, that horrid place, who wants to go do that? Um, so right now I'm still Whitney Miller, but I do plan on changing my name to my husband's last name, Whitney Meyer. Call me traditional, but I'm looking forward to having our own family unit. It just feels like we're doing the damn thing. And like teach their own. If you don't want to change your name, I really don't care. I don't really have a preference on what someone does or not, but I'm just very excited to be a Whitney Meyer. But you know what? For now, it's Whitney Miller. And lucky me, Myra Miller, pretty similar, but that's not what I'm here to talk about today, okay? And I'll tell you what, I'm bear with me because I am, as of today, 27 weeks pregnant, which means I am about to be in my third trimester. I am so close and so far away at the same time. It really doesn't even make sense to me. And I don't even understand how I got to three months left. I'm gonna be a mom. I'm gonna have a newborn. A little baby boy is gonna be peeing everywhere and pooping everywhere and laughing and make me cry and feel good and happy and like all the things, and I just can't believe it, to be honest with you. But my brain isn't quite all there. Okay. Y'all, if y'all followed me for a little bit, you know that I'm a very active person. I love working out. I gotta get into the gym. It's just a thing that like really makes me feel good about myself, and so I have been able to be very um active throughout my pregnancy, which I'm super thankful for. But the reason I can do that, I think, is like I go to the gym and I start working out and I have all of this energy in the world. I'm like, I got this, I am a gangster. And then I go home and I literally can't even remember my name or how to make myself food. So there's a trade-off. I I really have to like plan my day out, particularly if I'm working out that day, because I cannot do anything for the rest of the day after I work out. It's like this tiredness that is unexplainable, it's wild. Um, so I'm just getting used to having a workout and then allowing myself to either read or sit on the couch and try not to use a whole lot of my brain energy because I just my brain is not there to use. And so sometimes you just have to accept it, right? You can't just force yourself to go do something. You're gonna do shitty work anyway, which is what I'm learning. And I like to do work, I like to accomplish. That's how I've always been. And so it's been kind of hard, like going through that transition of realizing, no, no, no, like you're growing a human. That is your job enough right now. And you did what you could do for the the beginning of the day. And if you're tired by three o'clock, you're tired by three o'clock, bitch. And you need to go sit down on the couch and relax and put your legs up. You need to do that. That is just as important as accomplishing. You are accomplishing things by sitting on the couch because you're growing eyeballs. So that's where we're at. And you know what? It is 1.56 in the afternoon, which means we are closing in on my brain deadness. But I just wanted to get on here because it feels good for me to do that. And I'm going to feel like I can definitely kick my feet up afterwards. But I wanted to give a little bit of a life update and I wanted to talk about mainly fear and how fear gets the loudest it possibly can when we're like nose to nose with the thing that we want or the thing that we want to accomplish, or even like setting a boundary or breaking up with somebody. You're gonna hear all of your biggest doubts and insecurities and try to justify all the reasons why you shouldn't do that thing, the closer you are to said thing, right? And that's just how it works. And so I'm going through something currently, and y'all know I like to talk about the things that I'm going through in the moment because I want to show you the messy parts. I'm a pretty messy human, you're a pretty messy human. Like, you can't have a good life without the mess. You can't have a good life without thinking, holy shit, what am I doing? I should give up. That's just a part of having a good life. That's just truly that's what it is. Um, and so I wanted to show those parts and share this really exciting news. Tell you guys what I'm like learning through it. So when you get to that point to where, like me, signing a contract or standing nose to nose with a thing that you've been wanting to do or saying that you've wanted to that you've wanted to do, knowing how to handle that fear when it shows up or all the doubts and insecurities when it shows up, like you just have to expect it. So I do want to talk about that, but I also want to give just a little bit more of an update on pregnancy because we're flying through it and it's gonna be over before we know it. And I've learned some things through it that have been interesting to me. I've noticed I've I've been dealing with a lot of guilt, I would say. And so I just wanted to talk about that because I am lucky enough, and I know that I am lucky enough that I am so lucky for this, um, or blessed, or whatever you want. What it fill in gratitude type style of word there, that I've had a fairly easy pregnancy. I haven't really I haven't had any morning sickness. I've never I haven't thrown up once. I'm still active, I'm still getting to the gym, you know. I just feel really good and I've been enjoying my pregnancies. My pregnancies. Oh, no, pregnancy one, okay. And I know that there are people who have very traumatic pregnancies. And by me telling this story and giving an update in this way, this is not me pretending that that doesn't exist or me saying that my pregnancy is better than somebody else or anything like that. It's just simply sharing what is true for me, which I think is really important because we need to hear all of the stories when it comes to motherhood and pregnancies. We need to hear all of the stories when it comes to anything. Okay. If we're hearing one side of the story or one perspective, we're not really even understanding the full story. We don't, we don't have all of the information. Okay. It's like we're living in this delusional place that's like a total facade. It's not real. So by me sharing my story is just giving more information to people who want to know that there are multiple ways to do life or multiple ways to have pregnancy, to go through pregnancy. And for me, it's been very easy. And I don't see a lot of stories talking about that. I don't think it's clickable. I don't think it's extreme enough, probably when someone's like, Yeah, I loved being pregnant. I think it was awesome. It was honestly really refreshing to me when I spoke to a mom friend of mine who got pregnant and she was 41, I think, which according to the stupid ass timeline we're supposed to follow, that ain't supposed to happen. But hey, you know, that timeline is fake, and we're gonna have to talk about that one of these days too, aren't we? But she told me when she got to 40 weeks pregnant at 41 or 42 years old, do you want it? She could have kept going. She felt healthy enough, good enough to just keep going. The doctors wanted to induce her because she did IVF, but that's beside the point. My point is that you can have a pregnancy to where you feel really, really good. There are going to be days that you kind of feel like shit, or maybe you feel like total shit, but that doesn't mean your entire pregnancy is going to suck. Um, and I've been feeling guilt around the fact when I share that my pregnancy has been really easy and I haven't had any complications, especially at my age. I'm 37. I got pregnant when I was 36, so I'll be giving birth in a few months at 37. And you hear that when you're of that age, the geriatric old bitch pregnancy, pregnant lady, that it's gonna be very hard. It's gonna be very challenging. You just you hear all of the fears, the scariest parts about pregnancy. And I did not hear a lot of these good stories of people loving being pregnant, or how it could actually expand your creativity or deepen your relationship instead of make your relationship with your partner way fucking worse. And I just think it's really important to hear more of that because that is also real. Because pregnancy is everything. It's the good, it's the bad, it's the ugly. And when we only tell a one-sided story, particularly the bad stories, usually, we can literally scare people out of one of the coolest experiences of their life. And I was scared getting pregnant because I was afraid of how terrible I was going to feel, because that was the only thing I ever heard. I talked to people online who are like, Thank you for saying that your pregnancy has been very easy because I'm terrified to get pregnant. I'm terrified to give birth. That's another one. Giving birth? Yeah, it's a scary damn thing. But some people have beautiful births that are not traumatic. Are they hard? Probably, yeah. But that is a part of what birth is. It doesn't mean that you can't do it. It doesn't mean it also doesn't mean that you can't love and enjoy it. A marathon is fucking hard as well. There's always going to be something in our life that is hard that we can do, but maybe we just don't want to, or because we've heard the absolute horror stories of what birth is going to be, that it just scares us right out of it. I mean, I remember telling, I can't even remember if I've told you all this, but I'm hopefully in planning to do a natural unmedicated birth. Um, not here at home because I don't feel like I can relax fully here at home. Because if something goes wrong, and then you have to put my ass into a car and I have to drive somewhere in that car while while something is going wrong, sounds nightmarish. I just don't think that's in the cards for me. So we're gonna try to labor here as long as possible with my doulas and then go to the hospital with my midwife and my doulas um and give birth like that. That being said, if I have to go in for a c-section or something happens, I'm gonna do it because at the end of the day, I want a healthy baby. But when I told my friend who doesn't have any kids, I was like, yeah, I want to have an unmedicated birth. She's like, people die doing that. And that is kind of the norm. People are saying the worst possible case scenario about how terrible something could go wrong, even though you're made to do this and can do it if everything goes as planned, which we know life doesn't really go as planned, but you can do this. And it's just interesting to me because that was the first response that I that I got, and I was taken aback by it because she doesn't know, you know, she's she hasn't had any babies, and but that is kind of the narrative, not even kind of, that is the narrative that is floating around more commonly, I think, than no, no, no, you should have an unmedicated birth. Like if you want to do that, that would be awesome. People do it all the time. Yes, it was hard for them, but yes, they got through it. And a lot of the times people who are doing unmedicated births do more unmedicated births as well. So there's something to it there. But I've just found myself feeling guilty for sharing that side of the story because I don't want to make anybody feel bad, or I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm bragging. And that is a point that we should make. There is a difference between sharing something that is going good in your life, or that is, you know, you have ease in and bragging. Okay, don't be a bragger. Nobody likes that bitch. That's just annoying. Um, if you're sharing it because you do want to celebrate it, or you're sharing it because it's a really, it's a real part of your story, then share it, but know why you're sharing it. Let's just not, let's just not throw it out there and be like, I'm amazing and I have the easiest life ever. Because no one's gonna believe you, anyways, and it's just gonna be like super annoying. But even like in today's culture, think about this. Like when someone's when someone asks you, how's it going? And you're like, oh, it's fine. Oh, just surviving, you know, really tired, but things are good. It's like these these answers that don't really tell the full story of what's going on with you. But if something's going really good, you just don't want to say it. I was just watching this meme or this video the other day online, which I thought was a really cool representation of this. And they were in Central Park or something, and they had this sign up that said, Tell me a good thing. And you go up to the telephone and you speak into the telephone something good, something good that happened. And it was just so amazing to watch these couples and people come up sharing some of the best things that have happened to them recently, and celebrating that, and then being seen in that and people reflecting how excited they were for a total stranger to see that something is going good in their life instead of feeling triggered that maybe their life isn't going as good as somebody else and getting stuck in that comparison loop. And I just really want to normalize appreciating and celebrating everyone else's wins as well. If something's going good in your life, fucking awesome. I want, I don't want your life to suck. I don't want it to be so damn hard all of the time that you're suffering. And I feel like in today's world, oftentimes we just bond over the shit and bond over the trauma as opposed to being like, oh my God, you gotta raise? Fuck yeah, that's awesome. I'm so stoked for you. And I don't know if it's because we're like out of practice or we live in today in a world to where everyone is so competitive with everybody else, and all we do is compare ourselves, not even just out on the streets, but on social media, hours and hours a day that our almost default mode is to compare and then realize, oh, wait, what do we not have that they have? And so we can't like really celebrate the other person. We gotta stop doing that. Like seeing someone else's happiness takes literally nothing away from us. If anything, I think it should be inspiring because it can show us what is possible. If you hate your fucking job and all you want to do is get a job that you love so much, and you're a friend over there loves her job and got a promotion, that should show you what is possible. That should show you that, oh, wait, there is a way for me to go get what I want if I just show the fuck up and do it. I think really celebrating other people's wins and ease and accomplishments is the way to go. And it's gonna make you happier at the end of the day. Because if you're constantly looking for things to feel less than about, you're going to find them. And that's a no-way to exist. It takes, it sucks all the life out of life, seriously. And I'm gonna be real with y'all, okay? Because I've been the person who's judged, I've been the person who's compared myself and really just wished something didn't happen for somebody. So because I felt like a total be uh piece of shit. But what it came down to is every time I felt the ick when I was looking at somebody else, it was because I didn't feel like I was capable of getting that thing. It's not that I had a problem with their joy or their happiness. I actually had a problem with how unreachable it felt me at that time. So I basically just blamed them for showing it, which is such a crazy thing, if you think about it. And it took practice to overcome that. It's kind of like flexing a muscle. And it also took me showing up for myself and proving to myself that I in fact was capable of doing the things that I wanted to do. And guess what? If you don't, if you actually aren't capable of doing the things that you want to do at this current moment, you have a brain and you can learn to become capable in that thing. And it doesn't matter what age you are. Again with the timeline, I know I have it's like the timeline right now is my obsession because it's really just grinding my gears. But you can become capable. And I swear, as you're working towards these things, you start to see the hard work that other people have to put in to get the thing that they want, and you can start celebrating that in other people and realizing that they are paving a way. They're showing you what is possible, and you can use that to your advantage to inspire you forward. Because I really think that if you have a good thing that you hide, you're not making somebody else feel better or feel good. You're actually showing them that it's not possible to have a good thing. You make it look like that perfect relationship or that awesome job does not exist, and you're contributing to this lie that we're all buying into. So, this is my encouragement to if you have a good thing happen, show it. Share it, be permission for other people to do the same thing and don't brag about it, okay? Don't brag about it, but just share the good things if it's really authentic and grounded in you because it gives inspiration and to the people who feel so fucking lost and have no idea what to do, they can look at you and you can be a pillar in that. Like, oh, that is possible because other people are doing it. Or if you're the person that's sitting there, like, I hate, I hate all of these people who have such a good life, know that their lives are messy as well. And you can start putting in the building blocks and start putting into action the things that you want to do to not feel that way anymore. And yes, it takes effort, but you you can put in some effort here, okay? You're a human. We can put in a lot of effort to all kinds of other things that are actually not good for us. But this is the good type of effort that's going to make you happier, probably more successful, probably find a relationship that feels really aligned with who you are. And the list goes on. So be that, God, this sounds cheesy already. Be that lighthouse, okay, that somebody can look to to be like, oh, okay, that is possible. So that's my, those are my thoughts on that. And that's why I've been feeling a little bit guilty recently and how I've been kind of working through that. But I would do want to get to the fear part because this is a very big life update and something I've been working towards for a hot minute, too hot of a minute, it feels like. And it's all finally coming to fruition. And when I was just like two seconds from getting the thing that I wanted, I wanted to like basically burn everything to the ground. It's so crazy. I was like, uh, never mind. Maybe I just won't do it or I shouldn't do this. And like, let me just pretend like that's not actually happening right now. I was just about to cross the finish line, and that's when I wanted to lay down on the floor and throw a temper tantrum like a two-year-old and walk the other way. Run the other way. Why? Well, that's what we talked about at the very beginning of the podcast. Fear is going to be its loudest when you're nose to nose with a thing that you've been working on. So, as a lot of y'all know, I have been working on a book proposal for many, many, many months now and pitching it to editors and publishers, trying to see if somebody was interested in buying the book and getting on my team in order to help me, you know, market this and write this book and put it out. Um, I found somebody. I found someone and your girl got a book deal. It is absolutely terrifying and really, really exciting. It took a lot to get to this point, and I dealt with so much rejection, y'all. And I talked a little bit about that on post um on previous episodes, which if you're dealing with rejection or trying to put yourself out there, kind of pitching a project, I would go look back and listen to the rejection episode because I was just in the throes of it, and it was what I was learning through rejection. So check that out. But I'm now kind of on the other side of it. I went through all of the rejection. I went through all of the craziest feelings and emotions when it comes to rejection, like making it mean that I was a terrible writer, making it mean, see, you shouldn't have done this in the first place. This isn't for you anyway. And listening to the worst voices in my head instead of anything else. But yet we've come full circle because I found editors who I really feel like are in, they just they just get me. They get Whitney, they get the pretty messy human brand and vibe and what I want to do, and they just want to support that. And that's really what I was looking for to begin with. But you know, it takes hearing no a lot to get to that point sometimes. And boy, did I hear no until I got some yeses. I got a few yeses, actually. But at the end of the day, these are the people that I felt the most intuitively like connected with, like they were gonna be good on my team, which is a good point to bring up. If you know you're out there trying to pitch something to in any industry, you want to make sure that the person that you're pitching your product to, the thing that you spent all of your time and energy and resources on, that they are going to be a good team member for you. Not because they have like the big flashy name or lights or huge. budget behind him like you want someone that is stoked that is like I'm gonna go out there and make the world fucking listen to you and I'm gonna do it because I like you and I like what you you're saying and I like your product and you have to think about you have to think about your intuition does this person make me feel like I can really do this are they bringing their authenticity to the project or are they kind of like pumping my tires and this is just what they do and you may not totally know it may take a while for you to understand that but if you can slow down a little bit and just see which one feels like the best teammate for you. So I got a text from my agent and she was like should we pop the NA champagne and uh accept this thing and I was like what um yes but no but yes but no but I don't know because if we do that then I'm gonna have to completely change my schedule how I'm living my life what is that even going to look like I just I started thinking about all the ways that I was going to have to be different in order to fully write out this book. And so it wasn't just the fact that I got the book deal I should be stoked. I should be very proud and I very much so am and I'm very excited about it particularly now because you know I had to I had to freak the fuck out for a little bit and go through that to finally get to this point to where I'm like okay psycho I see what you were doing there. And I was just so afraid of the unknown. It was my nervous system saying no don't do that. We're really comfortable like this and we know all of the rules here so don't go be changing this up on us. And that is where our fear comes from our fear isn't that loud when the thing that we're working on or the thing that we want is far off into the distance. If it's like six months away, a year away it's like okay we know we have a little bit of anxiety but we're not that worried about it. When you are nose to nose with that bitch, that is when you are going to doubt yourself more than ever because your nervous system is literally trying to keep you stuck where you're at and just keep you comfortable because that's literally its job. Like it's not the nervous little butterflies it's the whatever you've been working on for the past year or years or whatever is a terrible idea. That's what you start to think about in your head. And mine really sounded like just to give you some examples maybe this publisher actually isn't right for me. Maybe I didn't really enjoy that call as much maybe I should just wait until after the baby that'll be better. Or I can just wait until I grow my audience some more it's like pushing it off pushing it off wait until this wait until this I should do this and it's just but but but and yeah every single one of those sentences is like reasonable it's a good thing to think about but that's kind of the even worse part about fear and the when it shows up when you're just about to cross the finish line is that fear is slippery. She knows how to get you it's not full on panic mode it's using the things that you've already thought against you to the fullest extent because that bitch is thought out she is well researched she can read you like the back of your hand and that is what she's gonna give you in those moments. And so if you can come to expect it in those moments when you're nose to nose with it, then you can't get lost in it as much. It'll still be there. You'll still have to put in the effort to work through it still do some mental gymnastics to get through it for sure. But if you expect it you're not as scared of it anymore. It loses some of its power. And I know for example when my birth comes up right now I am not super terrified of birth. I'm not I'm actually fairly looking forward to it I think it's an experience that I'm super interested in having now when my water breaks and I'm at home and those contractions start coming on I'm probably going to freak out in all of the fears that I've been kind of pushing away and understanding and doubts and insecurities and what if situations are going to come flooding in with a vengeance. But it's because I'm right there I'm doing the thing and there's no backing out and it's going to force me to become a different version of myself in that moment. Just like it forces you to become a different person in that moment. And this is this could be doing something and accomplishing something but it's also how many times have you wanted to set a boundary with a family member or break up with somebody and then you get right in front of them and you can't say anything. You just clam right up I mean it's happened to me a million times it goes back to your nervous system not wanting you to change in that moment knowing that you're going to have to show up a completely different way than you're used to and you don't know how the other person's going to respond. You don't know what your environment's going to be like it's so much newness that we're like never mind we don't we don't want to do that. That's why fear is so much louder right when you're about to cross the finish line. It's like the security guard trying to block the next version of you coming forward or the version that you're trying to outgrow. It's like no and like as I'm thinking about it right now it's kind of like the louder it is her volume is how much distance you are away from getting the thing that you've been working towards. If that thing is cranked up you know it's right on the other side of that. So just keep going please for the love of God just keep going because you are strong enough to overcome the newness humans change. The only thing that we can really count what's that freaking line um the thing that we can count on is death and taxes well also we can add change to that list. That is absolutely positively going to happen. You are going to change the world is going to change and yet we're so afraid of that but yet every single time change comes around you handle it. If it's good change or bad change a lot of the times fear is always going to be there like excuse me um do we do we have clearance for this and you're like yeah bitch we do let's go but to kind of like wrap this up in a boat the fear of change the guilt when sharing something really good in your life being scared to finally sign on the dotted line or hold that boundary with that person is all your nervous system trying to keep you where you are at. It wants to keep you in the life that it knows, that it's familiar with where we know all of the rules but that just kind of keeps you stuck in this like watered down half ass life. And I guarantee you you'll be proud of who you are becoming when you outgrow that it feels fucking good. There's one thing that I could bottle up it's the it's it's the feeling on the other side of fear. It feels so good. Not only because whatever was scaring you is over, but because you were a you were able to show yourself that you you can get through that. I've done this a million times on stage I still hate singing on stage it scares the shit out of me. I love getting off stage one because it's over but two because I know what it took of me to get up on that stage and and sing. It wasn't easy. But every time you do something that isn't easy you're pushing forward you're literally expanding who you are and I promise you it will get easier the more that you flex that muscle it just takes practice. Some days it's gonna be pretty some days it's gonna be messy but all days it's gonna be human. Oh okay well that was the first time I ever came up with that not bad pretty messy human. You can count on things to be messy and pretty sometimes inhuman y'all so just know that that is happening for everyone that it no one has it all figured out just perfectly we are freaking winging it like this is it newsflash this is literally the first time anyone has ever been alive no one has experience in being alive twice. So stop worrying about it so much. And now I feel like I'm starting to ramble and I'm not really making any sense. So and also here's some of my fear showing up because I'm gonna turn this camera off and be like okay well hopefully that was good but I'll just go ahead and doubt myself until that point. But we're not I expect that I'm expecting that to happen and we're just gonna move through it and we're gonna post it which also can I just bitch about something really quickly here I went to listen to a podcast a very popular podcast Jay Shetty's to be um transparent and it was like his latest podcast it was on seven mindset hacks to blah blah blah whatever I kid you not this dude read from a chat GPT script for his podcast which I guess technically it's a podcast because you're listening to it on the podcast app. But I don't know to me that pissed me off. I'm like why am I listening to you read from a chat GPT script and are you even reading this or are you using some sort of technology that takes your voice you put it into chat GPT and it sounded like it was you. I just hated that so much and my podcast can seem like they're all over the place and maybe I don't know what I'm talking about sometimes because sometimes I don't but that is being a human and I think that's one of the reasons why we appreciate podcasts because it's longer form and we can really see what this person is like. And that just annoyed the shit out of me because I really hope we're not getting into a world to where we just don't have real human interaction where we don't see the flaws and the mess in other people or we get the authenticity in other people. It's we're becoming robots it's crazy. And have you seen the the AI stuff where these AIs whatever you want to call them are asking the person that's using them to to make them human. They want to become human. And so I got to thinking about this the other day and I was like so wait a minute AI wants to be human. So the one thing that is stealing our actual human experience and taking our actual human experience because we are spending so much time with AI, we are conversing with AI, people are in relationships with AI, wants to actually be a human. So it's taking from our human experience because it wants to be a human when we humans inherently get to experience being a human the one thing that AI can't experience does that make any sense it's just maybe I'm not explaining it properly but it just blew my mind the other day because it because I just couldn't believe that we were giving our human experience to the thing that actually just wants the human experience. And then I heard this damn podcast this morning and was like oh God I hope we are not moving in that direction where everything becomes robotic and we lose the human touch and human feel. I don't think we will but it just really bummed me out to see that. And I guess this is my long-winded winded way of saying that you're never gonna get that type of perfection or roboticness around here. Don't get me wrong I use AI to help me out with some things but I am absolutely not going to sit here and read a chat GPT script to y'all. I don't think you deserve it. I think that's some bullshit Jay I do so the five people that listen to my podcast episode it's really gonna let them know you know anyways my pregnancy brain is hitting its max capacity I have to go lay down on the couch and I need to put my legs up the wall because I feel like my shins are swelling or something weird. But thanks for listening. If you liked this episode you know the drill please please subscribe like share follow leave a comment I want to know I love talking to y'all so just leave a comment I will absolutely respond to your comments um because I want to know where this landed with you if it made any sense if you liked it or if you if anything triggered you if anything challenged you that's what podcasting is all about we will be back and I love you guys.