WE ARE BACK!!! EPISODE 105 SISTER WIVES, REVEALING YOUR TRUE SELF AND MORE...

We are back with our 5th episode!! Thank you for your support. This episode covers a range of topics, from the Sister Wives reality series, being comfortable to reveal your true self, and things and television we enjoyed as kids. This is a fun filled episode where Elzy & Butts are honest, and give multiple perspectives. Tune in for laughs and real talk.

#hearmeoutpodcast#sisterwives#childhood#trueself

#realtalk#Elzy&Butts#basketball#podcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hear me out now. Turn it up. Coach Els Coach Butts. We gonna break it all down.

unknown 0:15

Hear me out.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

What's up, good people? Welcome back to Hear Me Out with Elsie and Butts, and I am Butts. We are ready to dive into another episode.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Yes, I have some interesting topics to talk to you about. You know, I really enjoy reality TV, as you know. Well, the new seasons of Seeking Sister Wives and Sister Wives are on. I cannot quit watching them. Any fans out there of Seeking Sister Wives and Sister Wives, do you watch the show? If so, give us some of your thoughts. But as I was catching up on my episodes last night on Seeking Sister Wives, for those who do not watch uh reality TV of Seeking Sister Wives, it's uh family following families of polyamory. Okay. So, coach, give me some of your thoughts. So, this specific episode last night uh was a young uh gentleman. He has three wives, and they're courting a girlfriend. And his job is to stay at home and read books and educate himself because they are attracted to his intellect and him provide uh taking care of the baby, and their job is to go out and provide for him as the king of the household.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Okay, you lost me at king and wives, plural. I yeah, I I what do I think? Um not a whole lot. I mean, obviously, to each his own, right? I mean, people make their decisions and they live their lives the way they want, but I I don't know. I mean, you know, on one hand, you think, no, I'm probably more traditional, right? I I I want one husband and I want him to want one wife. However, I mean, in this day and age, you got people all the time, there's a lot of infidelity going on, right? And so uh some people are in poly relationships um without knowing they're in a poly relationship, forced to be in a poly relationship. If you can consistently have to deal with infidelity and you stay with the same person, I mean, isn't that kind of similar?

SPEAKER_01 2:50

Well, no, it's not very it's not similar. It is in the context in which you are talking about it, but these people like take their their lives and how they live their lives seriously. So in this particular show, I need y'all to watch the show so y'all can understand. So this particular family, none of the ladies are married to him. Okay, okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait. So they're not the wives, or they are the wives, but he wanted them to be the sister wives, so that he wanted them to have the bond and connection, right? So in his family, and that's not all the couples on the show, but how he runs his family, all the wives are married to each other. So there's two wives, they're married to each other, so they can have the sisterhood connection. They have a third wife, and then they're trying to find the third wife, her wife, and then they all belong to him as the king, but they're one unit, right? Okay, so the third wife is having a problem because she feels like she just married into the family and she wants time before they introduce another wife. Um, and they all have to agree to date whoever to potentially uh be in their family, and then the sleeping arrangement is they have a large bed that can fit like eight people. Um, and for him, he's like, I want all my sister wives to feel connected and we all sleep in one place as one unit. Now, for me, I'm just so fascinated with the show. There, I mean, there's so it's complex, but there's so many things running through my mind. Please enlighten all of us because first of all, when I watch it, I can't imagine telling a man that I I actually want a man to be smart and have a lot of intellect. But do you have to stay at home to do that? Do you have to stay at home to read books? You can be very intelligent and not have to say, Oh, I'm not knocking anything uh so to each its own, but for me. Absolutely not. And then second, I my personality would not work with three other sister wives. So that that's just too many cooks in the kitchen for me. So I personally, there's nothing wrong with it, but I personally could not do it. But then I am so enamored by the fact that all the sister wives are jealous of each other.

SPEAKER_00 5:54

Okay, so just to be clear, because full disclosure, I don't watch the show, so I don't have um that base, that basis to look, you know, to to fall on, right? Why would you go into a situation knowing there'll be other people, other women, and you're going to be jealous. If you are a jealous person uh by nature, you you're definitely going to be jealous in that situation. Why would you agree to do that? What are they saying is the reason or reasons that they are doing this?

SPEAKER_01 6:35

Well, I'm blending two shows right now. On seeking sister wives, um, I don't feel as if they are as jealous uh with the polyamory lifestyle that they live, um, because most of the people on this show um they're getting kind of equal time with their significant other. Now, sister wives, these are two different shows. Um a lot of the families on uh or the family on this show, he had four wives in Utah, but he split time. Uh they've at first had one big house, and then they the wives split into different houses. So he had to rotate every day or two to other people's houses. So they became jealous because they weren't getting the time that they wanted, um, because he was running around to four different houses, and they had like 20 different kids.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

See, even in this explanation, it's getting way, way too much for me. It's there's a lot. There's a lot happening there.

SPEAKER_01 7:51

There's a lot, but also on sister wives, they he could also decide if it was my day, but he wanted to be with the other wife, he could stay there at the other house. So that formed jealousy. And so I just feel like you're asking for it, in my opinion. But it but but a lot of them on this show, they were raised that way, or their parents were in those types of relationships. And from what I can gather from my watching the show, it's you have other people that can help you raise the kids. You have basically built-in best friends and community that can help you. So hear me out, viewers. What are some of your thoughts? Would you be able to do it? Uh, what would what are some of the things that would make you jealous? Um, and if your friends were in this lifestyle, what advice would you give them?

SPEAKER_00 9:02

Ooh, child. I I don't I don't know. This is a lot, right? But it takes a village. Maybe, maybe that's what they're thinking. And I guess financially, there should there could be some benefits, uh, you know, in terms of help with the kids, uh all of those things I I can see, but I think my mindset is definitely on the traditional relationships. I I I don't know that I am mature enough to have a situation with multiple people.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

Yes. Now, the other thing um that's really hot right now is uh long distance marriages, uh, which I have done that.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

I can actually I think that's doable. I I actually think that's doable.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

Well, I think it's doable under, I mean, you have to be very clear on how you all are going to do it. Um, Dexter, my husband, and I did long distance, which is very hard. But for me, three weeks was probably about my max. I'm like, okay, I we better be standing in front of each other in three weeks. It's hard because uh the only thing you have is a telephone and words, which I will say on the front end of our relationship, it made us become best friends because we only had words to talk on the telephone. So it can be good, but I thought long distance was really hard. So about three weeks for me was was my math.

SPEAKER_00 10:42

I mean, I can see that being an issue, but I I could also see it being a solution to that person who really doesn't like people to be all clingy and around them all the time or in the same space, and when you just need like, you know what, I want to miss you a little bit. And that's can be hard to do if you're living together, you got kids, and you, you know, there's there's some dynamics uh that people have that maybe being apart and coming back together has helped them. Yeah, absolutely. And it does it does help you, but I think this is coming from a single person who really doesn't have a stake in it, but that's what I think.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

Well, I do. There are some benefits to long distance, but there's also something to say to be building your life together. Um, and I think with the line of work that we do, we have a chance to miss you during basketball season uh because we're traveling and we can come back. Um, but that leads me to the next thing. Um, I know some uh couples that I see online and they're living in the same city, but they each have their own house.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

What are your thoughts on that? Uh you know, I I guess that's that's interesting, but maybe no different than being long distance, but closer, right? Because you're actually in the same town, so I can see you anytime I want. I can go over, you can come over. I don't know. I mean, I get it. There's some people who like their own space. You might like different things, you might like different design uh in homes. You might there may there may be a lot of reasons, a myriad of reasons why you would do that. I I personally, for me, I'm not sure that that would be uh ideal or would work, but people do it, so it it obviously helps.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

People do it, and there's nothing wrong with it. Like we said, to each it their own, to each their own. We're not judging. For me personally, I just think about two sets of bills.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

I would be worried about what's going on at the other house.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

I would be worried about what's going on. Are you cleaning the house? I want both houses to be clean. Uh, so that I just couldn't do it. So, see, here's mine: you go upstairs, I go downstairs. That, and if we need space, uh, to all my married women out there, I know you're listening. You love, love, love your husband, and we all do. But when you need that moment and time of space, I need to know what you all do. For me, I either go stand in my closet, I close the door, I go stand in my closet, and I'm gonna rearrange it. Just give me time to rearrange it. But if I really want to get out of the house away from the boys, and I don't want them to go run errands with me, I'm gonna give y'all my secret. I either say that I'm going to at home or home goods because I know neither one of them want to go with me to those stores. And when I shopped in Target, I would say I'm going to Target because they know I'm going to take a long time. But I do think it's okay to have space in a relationship and then come back uh together. So, ladies, hear me out. What do you all do when you need a moment uh to breathe? What are some of your escapes?

SPEAKER_00 14:16

It's a good one.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

Those those are two that I have. We want to hear what you all think about relationships. And if you haven't, uh tune in to Seeking Sister Wives and Sister Wives. It's on TLC. Uh, and if you get uh too bored, you all can join me on my 600-pound life as well. But we'll we'll dive into that um in another time in another episode. But what are some of your favorite reality TV shows? Uh let us know. But as we're talking about TV shows, I have a good question for you. What is a song, movie, cart, or cartoon that you would like to bring back from your childhood to introduce to this generation?

SPEAKER_00 15:09

Wow, that's a great one. What song? Cartoon, movie, TV show. I'm going with He-Man. Yes, He-Man. I'm going with He-Man and the S or the Smurfs, right? Papa Smurf, Gargamel, all of that crew. I'm going with that She-Ra, He-Man era.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

I love He-Man and She-Ra.

SPEAKER_00 15:35

The sword, the castle. It's classic. That's classic television right there. Wait a minute. Did you eat the Smurf cereal? No. You didn't have the Smurf cereal? No, no. It turned your cereal blue. It was so sweet. Yeah, it's cereal. That's how I am about super, super sweet stuff. I cannot do it. Okay, He-Man and She-Ro.

SPEAKER_01 15:59

Um, I'm gonna go with uh some TV shows that I loved um growing up. What about Doogie Hauser? Doogie Hauser MD. I'm all about it. That was a great show. Webster. Classic. Different strokes.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Classic. The Wonder Years. Very good. Very good. I even like the new Wonder Years, which I'm not sure why it was canceled. I like the they rebooted it and it was really good.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Oh, I missed the reboot, but I used to love the Wonder Years. Um, how about Classic? Classic, classic, the Facts of Life.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

You can't beat the Facts of Life. That was really good. Um, Mr. Belvedere. Uh, I don't know if you watched Perfect Strangers. Some of those shows are a little bit off. But Perfect Strangers was really, really good. Um, did you did you watch Alf? I did watch Alf. Unfortunately, I can't believe I actually liked Alf, but it was good. Who doesn't like Alf? I know it was good. It was good. I watched it.

SPEAKER_01 17:10

It's a great show. So give us some of your favorite um old school childhood uh songs or shows or movies that you grew up watching. Now, now this is off subject, it's just a random thought that I have all the time. My grandmother used to love MASH. I never understood that show for the life of me.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

I didn't either, but what it was for me, you always knew it was time to shut it down because that MASH theme song you would hear in the back is like there's nothing, absolutely nothing else on TV, and they would play those MASH reruns. And so it was lights out at that point. But yeah, I never really watched MASH, but it's so iconic the opening and closing up that show. You you just have to you know it based on that.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

I never understood it, I never liked it, but I did understand the theme song. Speaking of grandmothers, so we all grew up uh with our grandmothers or a grandma figure in our life. What are some shows when you went to your grandma's house that you knew you were going to watch?

SPEAKER_00 18:21

You know what? I knew I was watching wrestling. My grandmother loved them. I didn't expect that. Dusty Rose, okay, The Rock and Roll Express, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Junkyard Dog. She loved them. We watched wrestling all the time. And the classic, the stories. You're going to watch, and our channel was General Hospital Hospital, One Life to Live, yeah, loving. We we didn't watch the other channel.

unknown 18:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

So Young and the Restless, all of those, they were on the other station. Her station was All My Children, One Life to Live, General Hospital. That was that was those were the shows.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

We were on the same station that you were on. Uh, my grandma was gonna watch that, and then she was gonna make us watch uh Family Feud, Wheel of Fortune. We're gonna watch every episode of Wheel of Fortune and then the classic, The Price Is Right.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

Price is right.

SPEAKER_01 19:27

You can't go wrong with what y'all know about that. So, what shows did you grow up watching with your grandmother or grandmother figure? Uh, let us know. So, out of all those shows, what was your favorite?

SPEAKER_00 19:40

Favorite show. Hmm. I watched so many shows growing up. Probably Who's the Boss was was oh with Tony Danza. Um, Who's the Boss was a really good was one of my favorites. Uh the Jeffersons, too. I really like the Jeffersons. Um oh, I I just thought of one. Give me a break. Yeah, Neil. No, give me a break. Yes, absolutely. I watched so many shows. I did really hard um to say what my absolutely favorite was, but some of the ones I watched on repeat, you know. And you know what? MacGyver. I didn't I didn't did you not watch McGyver?

SPEAKER_01 20:21

I did, but McGyver was not MacGyver was not one of my favorites.

SPEAKER_00 20:25

Or for the night rider, the night rider.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

I like Knight Rider. Punky Brewster.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

I watched it sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

Sometimes she was too girly for you.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

Yeah, it was there was a lot going on with Punky.

SPEAKER_01 20:39

Punky Brew. What about Blossom? I did watch Blossom. Okay, give us give us your favorite shows. We're interested in learning what you all have. Whew, man, we always are diving into very complex uh topics. Uh, but how do you think you balance being your authentic self versus managing other people's expectations, whether that's friends, whether that's family, whether that's your spouse, significant other?

SPEAKER_00 21:16

Wow. We we we went from the childhood memories Yeah, now we're diving back in.

SPEAKER_01 21:24

We're back in the deep end. Jump back in with me.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

Yeah, I wanna I gotta think about that a little bit. Okay, yeah, let me let me let me think about that. Let me follow you on this one. Let me think about it.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

Um well, I think that has changed for me. So I think when I was younger, um I was more of a people pleaser and I wanted to say yes. Yes, I wanted to make it sure everyone was happy, everyone felt good, uh, and I think I conformed to the people around me to make sure everyone was happy. I think now that I'm older, girl, when I turn 40, I just became brand new. That's it. When I turned 40, I just became brand new. And then it was about, okay, I am willing to do these things for people and meet people's expectations, but not at the expense of my own happiness or my own peace. And I it doesn't matter who it is. And I think I've set more boundaries for myself through therapy. And we we'll dive into that in another episode. Uh, because I do think uh especially in the black culture, therapy just has a really big stigma. It was like go to church, pray about it. No, it's okay to get mental health help. But um, I think now that I'm older, if it disturbs my peace or it crosses my boundaries, I'm not even gonna think twice about it. No. And it's okay to say no. And I think as we are in the age that we are juggling a lot of things, um saying no to people and they don't understand it, they're probably not where I am anyway. So if I can't go out tonight, cool. I hang with people be like, okay, cool, we'll do something else, or we'll catch up another time. If I can reach you, not call you back that day, I might call you the next day. Cool, that's okay. But I think that's the season of life uh that I'm in. I think you're in that we do not care. I'm definitely in that we do not care.

SPEAKER_00 24:07

And uh closer I get to 50, I really do not care. I think for me, I I was trying to think of a delicate way to put this. I I really haven't balanced in all my life. Like, you know me, I tend to show up the way I show up. You know, we're we're we're definitely different people. I think there are no, I don't want to make I want to make sure that people understand. I think in general, people, we all human beings, we want people to like us. We we want people just in general, right? Not not in a sense of I am going to go out of my way to please you. Although some people do that, right? That that's in their personalities. They try to, um, they're people pleasers. I want people to like me. I I want people to say have good things to say about me. However, in saying that, I am not going to compromise who I am in order to get you to like me. I think in general, I want to be, I'm a nice person. I want to be a nice person, I want to do good things. But if you don't appreciate those things, then you just don't appreciate those things. I think I show up, or I at least I try to show up as my authentic self all of the time. I mean, this is a different type of example, but let's use us for example. You and I, very different. I'm a hoodie, sweats, whatever makes me, I'm built for comfort, right? All the time. All of the time. And, you know, if we're off, you may come to the office, or at least in the past, you'd be all dressed up, you know, looking nice. And, you know, of course, I wouldn't say you look good or look nice, you know, because we say, Where are you going? Where are you going? Oh, okay, I see you. Instead of just giving you a compliment. But I say that to say, me, I am going to show up the same way all the time. You know, we go to dinner. I know everybody's going to be dressed up. You guys are going to have on slacks or some dress or skirt, something. You look nice. My look nice is going to be hoodie, sweat, some type of, some type of athletic wear, right? And just comfortable. And I don't feel any type of way about it. And I think some people may look at that and go, oh, girl, why you why you didn't tell me you guys were dressing up so I could dress up and I could feel more comfortable. Me, I am comfortable in my own skin doing my own thing. And that's just kind of how I show up. So uh for me, that balance has been fairly simple. I try to do the right things. I try to say the right things in terms of treating people right and just being a good human being. And then from there, I just live. I I honestly don't think too much about, you know, outside of the general, yes, I want people to like me. I don't want people to think negative negatively of me, but I'm not doing a whole lot extra so that you don't. I think what I'm doing naturally and trying to be a good human being should accommodate that.

SPEAKER_01 27:29

Now, that is true. If we go somewhere and we go out to eat, but I love that about you. You're gonna be who you are, you're gonna dress up, how you dress up. Now you're gonna iron everything, everything's gonna be nice. The shoes are gonna be crisp, clean, all of those things.

SPEAKER_00 27:46

Always gonna be neat. I'm not gonna show up looking a hot mess. I'll just say that, but it won't be fancy.

SPEAKER_01 27:54

No, you're gonna come in your sweats and your shoes. I like that. So hear me out, viewers, listeners. What are some things that you do to balance your authentic self versus the expectations? Hit us up, uh, let us know. Well, we have come to the time. It's time for 94 feet. If you know, you know, we're bringing that heat full court defense. All right. First one, because I know you love properties. We both watch these shows and love houses. You can only pick one. I have to go over the rules every time with you. You can only pick one. I got it. I got it. We're ready. Love it or listed or property brothers. Love it or listed. Oh, I thought you'd do property brothers. Oh, yeah. I like property. I really like property brothers, but love it or listed. I think I'm gonna be love it or listed as well. I wouldn't mind having her do one of the houses for me. I would that would be fantastic. Hillary, we love you. Uh John B.

SPEAKER_00 29:01

or Robin Thick. Ooh. I'm older school, so I'm going John B. Ooh, that's a good one. I'm going John B, but Robin Thick, I really like his stuff as well, but John B.

SPEAKER_01 29:13

I love John B, but I think I'm gonna go with Robin Thick's Superman is one of my favorite songs. I'm gonna go listen to after we finish. Oh, I know this is going to be a very tough one for you. IHOP or Waffle House.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

This is easy. Slam dunk, I hop. I'm no Waffle House for me. I'm so disappointed in you. I am so disappointed in you. You're the only one that is celebrating going to Waffle House.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

That is not true. Because every time I go to the Waffle House, the Waffle House is packed.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

This every time there's no knock against the Waffle House. I love the Waffle House. A lot of people eat at the Waffle House. I'm not going to say everybody because I don't. A lot of people do.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

And see, you're so worried about what the people are doing in the Waffle House just because you can actually all be worried about what they're doing in the Waffle House.

SPEAKER_00 30:05

Well, my whole other restaurant.

SPEAKER_01 30:07

Right. But the fact of the matter is, at the Waffle House, you can just happen to see over the counter, right? And so just sit in the side booth and get smothered covered, uh, scattered, scattered, hash browns, get your waffle, your bacon, the all-star special, and tell them to bring it to the side and quit looking at everything around you and just pray over the food when it comes off the grill. Okay. Uh, but I hop, I do like the IHOP pancakes because I like the strawberry syrup as well. Okay, I know this is an easy one for you. Would you prefer a bar of soap or shower gel soap and aloof?

SPEAKER_00 30:53

I have both, but I actually like bar soap. Say you are going to use bar soap. I like bar soap, but I do have both. I do, but I prefer bar soap.

SPEAKER_01 31:04

Okay, because I was getting ready to say you're gonna use that bar soap. See, I'm gonna use shower gel. Now I still will put the shower gel on my wash drag and my loofah. I'm gonna use both, but I'll prefer the shower drill. But growing up, if you had to pick one of these bar soaps, which one did you all use in your house more? Irish Spring? I knew you were about to say that or that dial soap.

SPEAKER_00 31:36

Irish spring, that's what we had.

SPEAKER_01 31:38

It was strong, it was so strong the smell just came off of you. You knew you had taken a good shower when you you could smell like that Irish Spring.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_01 31:49

Yeah, but I'm shower gel type of girl. Well, thank you all for joining us for another episode of Hear Me Out. Like, subscribe, share, do all of it. Hit us up, let us know what you think about this episode. Peace out. Real talk, we don't play or out. Don't make that.