EPISODE 6

We are back with our 6th episode!! Thank you for your support. This episode covers a range of topics, from the WNBA, KOBE BRYANT ,RELATIONSHIPS AND A VAST ARRAY OF MULTIPLE TOPICS. This is a fun filled episode where Elzy & Butts are honest, and give multiple perspectives. Tune in for laughs and real talk.



#hearmeoutpodcast#sisterwives#childhood#trueself

#realtalk#Elzy&Butts#basketball#podcast

#realtalk#Elzy&Butts#basketball#podcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:02

Hear me out now.

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Turn it up now. Coach S, Coach Butts. We're gonna break it up. Hear me out. All right, welcome back to Hear Me Out before we and Butts and Iron Butts. And we're ready to get this thing started.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

Another episode. Let's go, let's go. We cannot start this episode without giving a shout out to the ACES for winning a WNBA championship. What did you think about the games, the players? Give me your take on it.

SPEAKER_01 0:42

Aces with the sweep. I mean, there's not a whole lot of tapes, right? Uh the aces did a phenomenal job securing the victory against a good Phoenix team. I can't say they're playing a championship, so obviously, um, but the aces were just too strong. They were too strong in every area, namely Asia Wilson, the area of Asia Wilson. Uh it's just obviously she didn't win it by herself, but she's such a huge part of that franchise and what they are doing. Um, so special shout out to the aces for sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

Yeah, and uh Nikki Fargus, former Lady Volve. Um, we're so proud of you. We keep it in the family 161. Uh, but back to Asia Wilson. Feed the beast. Her ability. Now, obviously, we've had the, I don't know if it's an honor or pleasure. It was there was no pleasure involved to coach against her, but to see how much she has grown um from her early days in South Carolina. Now, she was still giving us buckets, but where she has grown, I mean, her ability to score the basketball, uh, the versatility that she brings. Giving it to you any way you want it. I'm an A1 fan. I'm an A1 fan. Uh, but you know, also, if you follow their story, you know, they were struggling early. They were. And and people had kind of counted them out. Uh, you know, I always love a Cinderella story. And for them to kind of change their lineup, their players uh bought in, you know, to different roles, and for to see them win at the end. I mean, that's what it's about in coaching. Um, the progress, the growth. It doesn't matter how you start, it's how you finish.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

It's always how you finish. It's always how you finish. And what better way? I mean, I think she had a clean sweep of the awards as well. I mean, she absolutely represented herself, her family, her fans, you know, her university uh that she played for her coaches. I'm sure everybody is extremely proud. And also, um, there's a special fan in the audience that I know was proud too, Mr. Bam. Bam! And we know a little bit about Bam. Bam was at Kentucky um during our time there. He was an absolute awesome, awesome individual. I mean, obviously, he was a really good basketball player, but he was always super mannerable. He would, you know, speak to you in the halls. He was just really friendly, um, just an overall good person. And so to see a true love and basketball connection is pretty good, um, especially when both of them are special players.

SPEAKER_02 3:33

Absolutely. But now Asia Wilson did her thing, but let's not leave out Jackie Young. You can't. Woo! Special, special, special, special. The ability to defend, score. She has that killer in her. Special, special. You know what? She's got the juice. Shey has got the juice. You gotta like players with juice. No, but no doubt about it. You know, and I just think what all the ladies in the W have done, it has brought such great exposure to women's basketball. And I love that not just women are going to the games, and we get to get out and watch some of the WMBA games, but to see men in ladies' jerseys and little kids and little boys uh that love the women in the W, we're moving in the right direction. Not where we need to be, but definitely moving in the right direction.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

I could not agree with you more on that note. And, you know, to see Asia obviously, you know, become a Nike athlete, you know, get her own shoes. And uh by the way, I think she's gonna release another colorway here pretty soon. And um it's hard times out there now, Asia. There's all of these Nike releases, uh, but the fans are eating it up, they're buying it, they're supporting, and you just you love to see it.

SPEAKER_02 5:01

As she should. And she's waited her time, her turn, uh, and she's get getting the love that she has deserved all along. So shout out to you, Asia, and all the aces and just the W. I thought it was a great season, especially once the finals uh started. Um, you know, you gotta love when the basketball is doing great. Good for the game. So hear me out. Who are some of your favorite teams in the W, your favorite players? Uh, you know, uh, but we are going to be in real trouble if we don't say Ron Howard is one of our favorites.

SPEAKER_01 5:40

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 5:41

Shout out to the Atlanta Dream as well. They had an unbelievable year, coach of the year. Um, I thought they had a phenomenal season uh down the stretch. What Ra was able to do, we're proud of her.

SPEAKER_01 5:56

Had a really good run. I I was uh unfortunately at the game, uh, their final game versus uh the Indiana Fever. Um, but obviously the Indiana Fever had a good run as well. You don't want that to go unnoticed. But uh from the the dream standpoint, um, it's good to go out and be able to support a former player and some have someone to cheer for and to back. And um, obviously, she's gonna continue to have a phenomenal career and uh chasing championships.

SPEAKER_02 6:27

Hey, we're here for it. Um, you know, can't believe basketball season is around the corner already. It's here, it's starting. Are you ready? What teams are you cheering for this year in college? Who are some of your favorite college players um this year? Hear me out. We want to know. Let us know, let us know. Now, there's one team that you automatically need to say for sure. Um for sure, uh, but you know what it is.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

Definitely the Duke Blue Devils, baby. Yes, I'm cheering for the Duke Blue Devils. I will also be cheering for my alma mater in the University of Tennessee. Um, I have to support the Lady Ralls, but I support everybody, uh, you know, because I have a lot of friends uh that are still in the game, that are still doing their thing on the sidelines, and and I support them as well.

SPEAKER_02 7:20

Now, Coach, I do have to ask, now that you are not coaching and you're watching, do you get more nervous watching your friends that coach because you don't know the scheme and what's supposed to be happening? Or do you just kind of watch the game?

SPEAKER_01 7:40

Oh, wow, that's incredible. That's a good question because I think it's a little bit of both. I try, I start out trying to just watch, and then it turns into knots and nerves and a mixture of all the things, right? Um, because I still talk to my friends, right? I I still have that connection. So after that game, that tough game, it's still like, oh man, I saw what happened, you know, in the fourth, or I saw what happened in the third, or you know, what about this and what about that? So it's it's definitely rough. I I I sweat a lot during during the games. I think I rebound. I my stat line looks really good when you guys play. Oh, I love it. I've defended, I got a couple of reflections because of course I'm coaching. Like, get your hands up and you know, I've boxed out a few times. Yeah. Well, I've pushed, I've given a little nudge or two, right? We'll take. I think watching the games for me is pretty exciting. Um, but it also feels really good to not have that after the game where I have to go and and read the film and to do those things and then to worry about all right, how am I gonna help this kid sleep tonight? Those were some big free throws that we didn't get down the stretch. Because, you know, as athletes, we take that stuff home with us. You take it home. You take it. And you know, unlike when we were playing, if we screwed up, right? Um, I can think back to my screw up at La Tech. We were at La Tech, we should have won a game. I turned the freaking ball over at halftime. We get beat at La Tech. I mean, not halftime, at half court. I don't have social media to look at to tell me all about what I should have done and how I messed up the team. But now the kids have that, and sometimes that's not very good for them.

SPEAKER_02 9:38

Right. And and you know, you always, as a coach, hope that they can block out the noise. Uh, but everybody's human. And so, me personally, I don't get on during the season to read any comments because it's not good for my mind or anyone else's. However, but for the players, you know, it's like their newspaper. So they are on social media. So just trying not to take it personal, but it is personal. And like you said, we didn't have that. So, you know, that is a different element of coaching that you never had to worry about before because, you know, if we did mess up, it was gonna come out in the newspaper, but you had to wait for it to be printed. By that time, we're already playing another game. On to the next game. We're on to the the next. So um, but I do find when I watch my friends play, I'm more nervous watching um than when I'm coaching. Uh, because when you're coaching, you're in the heat of the battle. You you can only focus on what it's happening. You know the game plan, you know what y'all are talking about as far as what the adjustments are going to be. I feel like when I'm watching my friends play, I'm like, I wonder, was that what they were supposed to be doing? Were they trying to run that? Was that the defense?

SPEAKER_01 10:53

What are we supposed to do on the ball screens? Is the ball screen? Are we supposed to hardhead that? Were we supposed to trap that? Were we supposed to ice that? I don't know what we were doing there, but I don't think we did either of the things that we were supposed to do. But yeah, yeah, it's definitely tougher watching. I think it's nerve-wracking watching your friends play.

SPEAKER_02 11:13

Absolutely. And also, Dexter, my husband, gets on me all the time because our eyes are trained. You can't just watch a game just to watch it for fun, whether you're watching the uh the W, the NBA, um, men, women, when you watch a game, you watch what they're doing, you watch the adjustments, you can't just watch it. And I tried to explain that to him. I was like, it's like a dentist. When a dentist is out, I'm sure they're looking at people's teeth because that's what they do for a living.

SPEAKER_01 11:49

Right.

SPEAKER_02 11:50

Or a nail technician, they're looking at people's hands and toes because that's what they do for a living. So for all my coaches out there, when you watch a game and you're not coaching, even though you might want to turn your brain off just to watch the game and enjoy it, can you? In retirement, I hope I can, but right now I can't. And I don't think we ever will be able to because it's what we've done, it's what we know.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

I would agree. I would agree. It's tough, it's difficult. I'm in that space right now, and it's difficult.

SPEAKER_02 12:27

Well, hear me out. Let me know. Do you watch the games for fun if you're a coach? Or can you um just sit back and watch it? Or are you watching for adjustments? As we transition on to relationships, oh, oh, let's get into it. The good stuff that the people are waiting for. So, you personally, before I ask our viewers, because you know, you and I are very opposite when it comes to how we approach well, a lot of things, but relationships definitely. Um, I'm kind of, I guess I'm a little more traditional, I would say you're a little more outside the box, safe, but outside the box. So I'll explain further. So for you, would you be willing to ask a man on a date? Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_01 13:32

Would I be willing to ask? Um, yes, I think so. I think, man, what what type of date?

SPEAKER_02 13:44

I guess is a date is a date. Uh-oh, uh oh. You're starting to act like my players right now. A date is a date. Going on a date means you and another person are going on a date. You're going out somewhere.

SPEAKER_01 13:57

I don't know. I I don't know. I I think it would be situational for me. I don't, I'm not sure I would be willing. Like, because I feel like if he wanted to go out with me, he would ask me to go out. So part of me would like to think if I was friends and acquaintances with someone and I wanted to go out on a date. See, I don't think I would be saying it's a date. I like, hey, do you want to go to move? Want to get grab something to eat? I eat all the time. You know that.

SPEAKER_02 14:26

Okay, we're talking about a date. Like you have romantic interest involvement. Yes, you have interest. You go out to eat with all your friends. So that is not a date. I'm saying if you were interested in dating someone, would you ask them out on a date?

SPEAKER_01 14:43

I don't I don't uh I would like to think I'm advanced enough and and more and mature enough to do that. I don't know that I would, but I'd like to think I would.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

I would your pickup lobby question. Okay, yes. Yes, okay, I got it. Okay, so what would your pickup lobby?

SPEAKER_01 15:05

Oh, geez. I don't have you know how how are you gonna ask them on a date? Would you like to go out to grab something to eat? Or go leave it to food. Yeah, we have to eat. I mean, there's no, well, I take that back. We could go to the park, we can go hiking. I mean, there are non-traditional dates. We can go play pickleball. We can go do a lot of things. So I I definitely think I would, but I don't know that I would have a pickup line that wouldn't be cheesy anyway.

SPEAKER_02 15:42

Yeah, I'm waiting. I want to know what the I want to know how you're gonna ask them and what your pickup line would be uh to get them out.

SPEAKER_01 15:49

It would be just that. I would would you like to go on a date? I would I would love to get to know you a little bit better. Can we go XYZ? That would be it. I I I'm that's so you. Straightforward. That's so you. This is it.

SPEAKER_02 16:06

See me. I am not gonna ask a man on a date.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

Yeah, I do.

SPEAKER_02 16:12

They're gonna have to ask me on a date. Now, I do think situational, if we've been on five or six dates and I like them, I then might ask them, do they want to go do things? But I'm not gonna ask them on the initial date.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

Okay, so you're you're saying, Do you want to go do things? Is that the same as what I was saying? Would you like to go to a movie or well?

SPEAKER_02 16:41

Yeah, it's still we're still going on a date, but I'm not gonna ask them initially. So if we've been on five or six dates and I like them, then I would ask them would they want to go on another date that I chose or I planned. But five or six, not one or two, five or six. Five or six.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

I need the five or six.

SPEAKER_02 17:03

Okay, I need the five or six because then I need to know if I like them.

SPEAKER_01 17:07

To think that I would ask if I really was into them and I like them.

SPEAKER_02 17:13

I don't know. Um and so that brings me to well, maybe we should start.

SPEAKER_01 17:22

You think that's what it is?

SPEAKER_02 17:23

Maybe we should start. That brings me to my next question. Uh-oh. Uh, hear me out, viewers. When you are looking for someone to date, do you have a list of things that you are trying to check off? And what if they don't check off on the list, but you potentially like them or have a connection with them? Okay. List.

SPEAKER_01 17:53

I do not have a list per se. I don't think I have a list. I really don't have, I mean, of course, the things that I look for in my mind are universal to that's what you say to what most people are looking for. Who doesn't want someone nice? Who doesn't want someone who's, and if you want to go to physical, uh attractive to them? But I know that that's definitely unique to each individual, right? So I just have to be attracted to them. It could be anything that attracts you, but everybody wants to have someone they're attracted to. But if we want to go deeper into the physical, I look for, I like nice smiles, right? I like good teeth. I like all that, but who does it? I don't know anyone who would say they don't like a nice smile. Or I'm looking for someone who doesn't have good teeth, right? Nobody says that. So the things that I think I'm looking for are normal things when you're looking for someone that you like. And obviously you want somebody to be family-oriented, and obviously at our big age, right? Um, kids. I know that's that's always like a topic. Like, would you date someone who was either previously married, so now they're divorced, and someone who has kids. And the answer for me, I yes, I I I definitely would, but it definitely depends on the situation. Right, how many kids, how many kids? How many kids? It just depends. Like if you have three or four and they all have different moms, uh it's probably dependent, we'd have to talk, right? So depending on the situation, it could work, but I don't know. If you were married and you had three or four kids by the same woman, your wife, your ex-wife, and now you're divorced, that's something totally different to me than because you were committed, you were in a stable situation, the kids, several kids by several different women just tells me the commitment level isn't there. The all of these things that it could be giving off. So, yes, I I I would, but it would certainly depend on the situation and the person.

SPEAKER_02 20:22

Okay. Yeah, not too many kids. I wouldn't mind dating. Well, obviously, I'm married, so I'm off. But before marriage, um, if they had one or two kids, I could definitely see myself doing that. Uh, more than that.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

But I I would say something I would a caveat to that is if you have kids, whether you were married previously or not married previously, if you do not have a relationship with your kids, now I do understand because I know people will be commenting or have something to say, I do understand that sometimes co-parenting can be difficult, right? And there are different dynamics that go along with that to where maybe there's some custody issues, there's some different things that happen, but with integrity, if you do not have a relationship with your kids, I cannot date you. Um because, and not just financial, I mean a relationship with your kids. Now, if there's a situation where your co-parenting situation with the mom is strained, and maybe there are some different things going on and cause you to have a fractured relationship, and you are trying to get that, but you know, you guys can't bridge that gap for some reason. That we can talk about that, right? It's situational, but just in general, I think a man or a woman who doesn't have a relationship with her kids, if They don't live with them. I think it would be hard for me to date that person uh seriously because I just think you should have a relationship with the kids and not just financial. I'm not talking about child support, I'm talking about supporting as a parent.

SPEAKER_02 22:15

Absolutely, and I agree with you. But I want to go back to your list that is normal for everybody. So hear me out, viewers. I am trying to put butts on a dating show, married at first sight, to be specific. So since she gave us her universal list to all my listeners out there, if you have any friends or family members that fit the list that she just gave us, please hold up, tag us, DM us, hit us up, let us know. Um so we can get her on a date. And since now we know that she's willing to ask, wait, this is all bad.

SPEAKER_01 23:08

This is now that we know that she's willing to ask. I anticipated this happen going.

SPEAKER_02 23:13

Well, we're putting it out there. Just look, we gotta put it out in the universe. You're a good woman. We just need to find you a good man. So we're putting it out there. So as we continue on our relationships, now this actually happened before I got married. How do you feel about a woman hyphenating their name before marriage? Hear me out, viewers. This is a big thing for men. So Dexter, my husband, was keen on no hyphenation. So I said, great, I won't hyphenate it. My name is Kyra Elsie Lander. I didn't put the dash, but my name is Kyra Elsie Lander. No dash, just straight. It's just straight. Kyra Elsie Lander. Um, but you know, he and I had a a really great conversation about this because I had been in the business for a long time before I ever got engaged. And that's how people know me. My name is Kyra Elsie. And so I decided to keep it. And so professionally. Um, now everyday life, all of my information has Elsie Lander on it, and he was good with that. And that was important to me because I had to marry somebody that was gonna let me be me, my own person, my own identity. And then we come together and gel as one. So hear me out. Who has hyphenated their name, who has kept their name professionally, who feels strongly against it? And what are some of your thoughts?

SPEAKER_01 24:56

Well, I'm the married, unmarried person on the podcast, so I can speak for the single people, right? She's speaking for the married people. I just think as a thought, I don't think it's wrong or right. I don't, I don't think anything. I think people should do what they feel comfortable with, and I think your reasoning is completely valid. You are a professional person. You were a professional person before you married him. You are a someone who's been in the public, someone who is identified by their last name, primarily. You know, literally, people call you by your last name.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 25:32

I call you Elsie, I don't call you Lander. Um, and it's just like And he calls me Elsie too. That you know what? What is really crazy, you said that, and he does. Yeah, he does call you Elsie. Um, and so it makes total sense to me why you would keep it professionally. Um, although you have, you know, your driver's license, all of those other things are now in your husband's last name. But for me, I think if you want to keep that last name, it's fine. If you want to hyphenate it, it's fine. If you don't want to change it, it's fine. I just think it's uh the two people who are involved in that, it's their decision. And I don't really think it's right or wrong. I think if somebody wants to hyphenate it, because let's say um I coached this kid at Michigan State, and she had a hyphenated name when I was a coach there. And it was because I don't, I don't really know the strong, strong reasons, but getting to know their family, her mother was from a really, you know, uh powerful family and important family in in in their era, and so was her father. And my guess is they both had strong names, and neither one wanted their kids to lose their names, right? And so it was hyphenated mom's last name and dad's last name. And I I thought that was really interesting, and it made sense to me. Um, but I I think also it's so much of a personal choice. I can't look at somebody and say, I can't believe she hyphenated her name, or I can't believe he let her. I I don't like to hear conversations where people say, I would never let my wife or let my someone hyphenate their name, or she must take on my name. Or now, if that's what both of you agree to, I think that's absolutely okay.

SPEAKER_02 27:28

Well, I mean, there's some men that do not like uh for their wife to hyphenate their name or keep their last name. And that's okay. That that was not my testimony. That was not my testimony, and not my testimony or my story. Absolutely. And you're taking on their name, but you know, some men do get offended by that. But I also think, you know, it's 2025. Women also have a story behind their name and appreciate it. So for me, I'm adding to who I am, instead of just dropping the identity of how I've known myself my whole life.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

I would agree. I I I think that's wise. I think it's I I I don't disagree with that at all. I think for me, um, if I ever got married, I I think I would take that same approach because professionally, and even though I'm semi-retired, I'm still known as butts. I mean, everybody pretty much calls me by my last name. Absolutely not a lot of people call me Naya, which I'm not even sure people know my first name. That's how much and how often people call me by my last name. And I've made that name for myself. And there's an identity behind it. And so I think it's actually just a whole lot bigger than you know, what sounds better, what looks good. It's like, you know what? This is who I am. I don't want to lose that identity, even though I'm becoming one with someone else. I'm becoming one with someone else. That doesn't mean I have to lose who I identify as or, you know, how I identify. So I I don't I think making it your middle name is fine. I think if people want to drop it, I think it's fine. Yeah, it's a personal decision to do.

SPEAKER_02 29:23

But my whole point is I think women should be allowed to make the decision that they want to make. But that's another topic, another conversation, another topic. Don't get me started, you know. So when you think about relationships, you know, marriage is very complex, and there are a lot of things that you have to think about. All my married ladies out there, it is the most amazing. Uh, it's kind of like parenting. It's hard, uh, it's beautiful, it's one of the most amazing things that you could do in your life, but some days it's hard, and that's okay too. You you love them, can't live with them, can't live without them. But when you think about all the tough conversations that you have to have in marriage counseling, one of them always revolves around money. And so, one of the things in premarital counseling that most people go through is how are you gonna separate your money? How are you going to you're gonna have different accounts? You're gonna have a joint account, you're gonna have individual accounts, how are you gonna pay bills? And what works for you? So hear me out, viewers. What do you all do? What do you think is the right way? Um, you know, everyone has to do what works for their family. Um, but I think um it's okay to have multiple accounts from my vantage point. I I just think it's okay. Because here it is. When you and your husband work, if I would like to go to at home, which I love, I love that store. I don't buy diamonds, I don't buy expensive things, but I'm gonna go to at home or bed, bath, and beyond, or uh buy a whole slew of candles and body spray. And if I want to spend my little $250 doing that, I want to be okay with that. I don't want to have to answer to why I bought six candles to put in our room. However, I want my husband to have the same. If he wants to go to Buffalo Wobblings and eat or buy a bottle of wine, I don't think I should be nagging him about that either. So I think it's okay, you know, to have some funds that you can do the things that you want to do for yourself or your household. Now you come together and pay the bills, which some people think it's okay just to separate the bills. For our household, we pay them together. But I do think it's okay to have two accounts to do individual things. So, what are some of your thoughts and splitting and hear me out? What do you all think?

SPEAKER_01 32:19

Well, I I know the folks listening. Again, I would like to put this out there. This is me speaking as a single person who is not married. Okay. Because, you know, until it happens, I know people all say that until you're married, you don't, you know, know, and then once you get married, you should do X, Y, Z. Me personally, I think again, the two people who are involved in this should make that decision for them. There's no right or wrong answer. If you want to combine all of your assets and all of your money into one account when you get married, and you guys feel comfortable with that, do that. If you, and I don't think it's wrong to necessarily do that. That's for you. As for me, I think I will definitely have multiple accounts. There'll be two accounts. Um, and I think making sure that you have the financial talk before you get married is before you get engaged. Before me, I I think it needs to be something that several conversations, because people don't often feel comfortable talking about finances, right? And putting everything out on the table, especially when you are in that dating phase and you're presenting a certain way a certain way, right? You don't want people to know that credit is not that great. You know, you don't want people to know what that history looks like, or you are, you know, acting like you have things that you don't really have. And when it's time to be honest, I think honesty is absolutely imperative when you're talking about combining accounts. But I definitely think you it's a personal decision. I personally think I will have there will be a joint account, but there will also be individual accounts.

SPEAKER_02 34:14

Absolutely. I'm with you on that. And also how you spend your money is different and what you deem important for spending your money on. So for Dexter, he loves grass, he wants the grass to be perfect, the mulch to be perfect. Listen, until I got married, I didn't realize how expensive mulch was. I literally saw the bill and I almost passed out, and I was like, I don't even like mulch.

SPEAKER_01 34:47

Oh, lawn care is definitely expensive. 100% and and I enjoy a nice yard myself. So I'm in that category with Dexter on that one. So I want the lawn to look outstanding. I'll I'll just say that. I want it to look pretty good. Um, but I I think you're right. You have to understand, you know, what's important to that other person. And you know, you can't just be spending money all willy-nilly, right? No, you can't do that.

SPEAKER_02 35:18

But you also have joint or do you have a limit? So do you have a limit? So before we spend any money out of our joint account, there is a limit that we cannot go, that we must discuss before and agree on together before we purchase it. So hear me out, viewers. What is your limit that you and your partner are husband, significant other, doesn't matter, have to discuss before you can purchase it. What would your limit be?

SPEAKER_01 35:50

I I don't know. I think that you know what? I think that also depends on where you both are financially, right? If you have, yeah, it depends. No, for me, $200 is my limit. We know when I'm talking about that, I'm talking about like when you have people who are making millions, hundreds of millions of dollars a year, I don't think their limit is probably gonna be, all right, we need to talk about the $200 purchase. They're not gonna I don't think so.

SPEAKER_02 36:22

Even if I had a million dollars, coach, I want to talk about the $200.

SPEAKER_01 36:26

But this is a person So your purchase, no matter what tax brackets you're in in life, would be all right, if the purchase is over $200, we need No, I won't say two.

SPEAKER_02 36:36

Five. Well, $500. Let's let's talk about it. After five, but again, let's talk about it.

SPEAKER_01 36:42

I think that depend again. My limit would be depending on where we both were and what what our financial situation situation looked like.

SPEAKER_02 36:51

I think Coach, your limit, you you are the person who has but you were spending it on yes, coach, yes, you will spend five hundred dollars on a meal. I will, but you don't want to spend 75 cents to upgrade for iCloud storage.

SPEAKER_01 37:14

I do not, I do not want to spend any extra money. Food and experiences, I spend money for, and for people who are watching, you can actually see my expressions, so you know that I really enjoy food, I really believe this. But if you're just listening, please understand I absolutely love food and I love to eat, and I spare no expense for a meal. But I we were talking about an iron earlier today that you use to get the wrinkles out of your clothing, right? And she's like, You still have that same iron, and I'm like, Yes, there's nothing wrong with it.

SPEAKER_02 37:59

Well, wait, wait, wait. You were at our house, and I had ordered this nice iron from Amazon that steams, it has all the settings that you loved.

SPEAKER_01 38:10

It was really nice. I was like over my clothing.

SPEAKER_02 38:13

It was, and you really enjoyed it. So it was probably 40 bucks for the iron. But what I'm saying is, you will spend $300 on a steak dinner, yes, but won't buy the $40 iron. That like that's confusing to me. So, like for me, I like food, but I don't love it like that. I don't eat $300 worth of food in one week. Oh, a nice ribeye. Yeah, so for me, if it costs too much, I want to split it with someone. If it costs too much, I can split it with somebody. You want to split? I used to be able to split with Jackson, but he doesn't split with me anymore. But instead of buying $300 worth of food, I might want to buy a nice outfit.

SPEAKER_01 39:01

I mean, I understand what you're saying. I'm just saying the iron is not broken, it is is working properly, it's still getting the wrinkles out. I have no problems with it. I've had it for about 10 years and it is going strong. It is going strong, it is not sticking on the bottom or anything. So I thought about it when I left your house. And I was like, that iron is really nice. But do I need to really spend 60 bucks to buy a new iron?

SPEAKER_02 39:35

Right. So that goes back to my whole point. So we're gonna circle back around. That goes back to my whole point that your limit is going to be very low. When we find the man that you're going to marry on this show, your limit is going to be very low because you don't even want to spend $40 for an iron. Hear me out. We have concluded on this topic and situation. She is not going to go over her limit. She's looking at me when I say $500. She will probably be less than that. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 40:07

I have I do before we move on, before we move on, prenumps. What do you think about prenumps? I've seen and heard this conversation on Twitter. Well, it depends on podcasts. If you are going into two single people, let's use this scenario. Okay. One party, doesn't matter who, the male or the female, you get to pick your side you want to be on, has substantially more wealth and financial security than the other side.

SPEAKER_02 40:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 40:50

And they want to get married. The individual you pick, male or female side of things, the one with the most money and the most assets, says, I would like to get a prenup before we get married. What do you think about that?

SPEAKER_02 41:15

Well, you know, if I'm coming into it, um, and he has a substantial amount of money, more than me, I don't think that I would mind signing the prenup. I would sign the prenup. However, once we got married, now the money that you make while we're married, that's what we're gonna have to put that back in the clause. And then also I think kids, once you have kids, I think that is another uh variable that you have to add to the situation. Um, so I I personally would be okay with signing a prenup if they had way more than me. Um now I don't know that I would ask anyone to sign a prenup. Well, maybe if I hit the lottery uh before I got married and I hit the lottery, I'm probably gonna ask you to sign a prenup. But, you know, I do think there is a stigma around the prenups because it's like, oh, your relationship is not going to work or you're it's doomed before you start. But me personally, I wouldn't mind signing a prenup.

SPEAKER_01 42:39

I would absolutely sign a prenup. If someone wanted to sign a prenup, especially I'm with you, the money and the assets that you have before, especially, you know, I have to think about I'm older now. And if he's coming in with kids, with assets, maybe he has some other homes that were passed down through his family and different things like that. I I just don't feel like I have any right to it, right? And so I don't have any problem with that. And like you said, moving forward, after we are married, now anything both of us earn at that point is, you know, it's ours.

SPEAKER_02 43:21

It's ours. So if anything shall happen after that point forward, I'm gonna take the coins.

SPEAKER_01 43:28

Right. And that's you know, and that's not to say that even if you sign that prenup, that the money that he's accumulated or I have accumulated before would not be used to support us during the marriage. I am just saying, in the event that something happens, these things um would fall under uh that prenuptial agreement where these are not assets or things that you can touch. Me myself coming in, obviously, I'm like the little old lady who lived in the I don't have any biological kids, but I have kids via my godmother status. And all of my kids, unless I change something with what I'm doing with my assets and in real estate, unless I make a change or sell or uh decide to do something different with my properties, they're all going to my kids. And so if I were to get married to someone, the assets and things that I have accumulated over time and over my life, he I don't care that we are getting married and that we are becoming one and he's going to be my husband and all of those things. I'll love him uh hopefully until the end of time, but he doesn't have access to Jackson's home. In my mind, he doesn't get to, if we don't work out, he doesn't get to say half of that is mine, but then you get to sell that. So definitely, I I personally would moving forward since you got me internet dating with uh Hear Me Out podcast now. Yes, I do. So so for all of the potential uh suitors out there, I definitely any relationship, serious relationship that I get into moving forward, um, and we are talking about the next steps, we're going to have a I am going to have a prenup.

SPEAKER_02 45:35

100%. Okay, you heard it here, folks. She will have a prenup, and I'm not mad at it. She will. Um thinking about we're getting older, it's just crazy to think we're getting older. So, you know, one of my favorite people on social media is Miss Melanie with the We Do Not Care Club.

SPEAKER_01 46:00

And we damn do not care.

SPEAKER_02 46:03

We do not care. And I want to hit a topic with you because we are at the age and actually experiencing the symptoms. So, for you all that do not know, Miss Melanie with the We Do Not Care Club is for uh women who are experiencing paramenopause, menopause, or postmenopause, however you want to say it. Um, and I could not sleep one night, and she popped up on my feed and she said, I don't understand. I didn't understand that a symptom of peramenopause was your ear itching. And it was the craziest thing because the night before I would just wake up and I would start scratching, just one ear itches. So I didn't realize that was a paramenopause symptom, but I have that one.

SPEAKER_01 47:00

Well, I'm glad you can actually wake up to scratch your ear because I'm not sleeping. So I can't even go to sleep at night.

SPEAKER_02 47:09

Well, you can't sleep. It's rough. So hear me out, viewers. What are some of your symptoms if you are at the age that you are experiencing them? What are some? And it's a real thing. So it's so crazy. I was starting to have night sweats. So I would go to bed cold and then I'll wake up and just be flaming hot, like on fire, like fighting the covers. And I'm like, turn the air on. I'm so hot. Now I went to bed in a onesie because I'm freezing. And I didn't know this, uh, but one of my doctors recommended taking magnesium. And I started taking fish oil and magnesium, and my night sweats have kind of ceased. Nothing.

SPEAKER_01 48:04

I would like to say we are. Now I don't know if that works. We are not physicians. I'm just saying what works for me. We are not uh telling you to go out and take magnesium or anything else uh as it relates to your symptoms. You need to consult a doctor for that.

SPEAKER_02 48:23

Um but like these are symptoms that are just so crazy. And I don't understand why we as women, now we're talking about it because we're at the age and all of our friends are dealing with the symptoms, but it is a real thing. And I don't remember hearing people discuss it, or maybe I did and just missed it. But the craziness of how paramenopause can make you feel. I'll be wake up and I'll have energy. I'm like, I'm gonna work out, I'm gonna do a hundred things. And guys, by two o'clock, I literally, my eyes are so heavy that I'm like, okay, I need to take a 20-minute power in this office to survive the rest of the day. And then around 10 o'clock, I'm like, I need to clean the house. I need to go to the grocery store. I need to watch a movie, I need to eat some food.

SPEAKER_01 49:17

It's craziness. I mean, I think her description of basically saying we do not care, I think perfectly sums up everything that you deal with, right? Everything that comes to your way, issues. It's like, oh, I used to care about that. What why don't why don't I care? Why don't I care about that anymore? It's like, okay, whatever. It becomes survival, right? I have to survive this. Whatever, whatever it is that's going on and what you have going on is not important at this moment. Um because I do not care. I'm about to turn into something.

SPEAKER_02 49:56

Yeah, and this the range of emotions, um, the brain fog for me. I'm like, I'll walk in a room and I'm like, why did I come in here? Or I could be mid-sentence. And all of a sudden, it's like my brain quit activating.

SPEAKER_01 50:18

I'm like, you sound like Trina, one of our other friends. She's like, What happened? I'm not sure what I'm thinking about right now, but I'll I'll have to call you back. It's like there's so much going on where you're and and you talk about being hot. I'm already a person who gets hot anyway. And so I I will sweat anyway, and sometimes I just have to, you know, hang one foot from under the covers. I feel like that that helps me. It works. It does work. I don't know. I think it's psychological because there's no way hanging one foot out of the bed. It does work is going to help you.

SPEAKER_02 51:01

It helps me. I I don't know what other women it helps, but it helps me because I put one foot out and it cools you off. But it's just crazy. So, what are some symptoms and signs that you're having? And anybody that has past paramenopause and menopause, how long did it last? Because everything that I'm reading, we still have a lot of time.

SPEAKER_01 51:25

Oh, that's unfortunate. But you know, this is for another episode, another show, right? But I have been dealing with our extra friend, and for my guys who are listening, uh the us women, we know who that extra friend is that comes and visits us every month. Um, I have been dealing with her since I was 10. So I was 10 years old when I started my period. And so that's a long time to be dealing with something that has to do um with your cycle and just kind of with being a woman, right? And it's it's I'm I'm about done with it, you know? I'm I don't know that I can really control it myself, but I'm about done with it.

SPEAKER_02 52:16

Well, we do not care. So yes, we are done with it. You know, I think to myself, why did Eve eat the apple? I feel like men, they go through things. We love you, men. Y'all go through things, but women, we go through some things. And so for today's announcements on the We Do Not Care Club, please tell us. We would love to have you on the show, Melanie. But please tell us on Hear Me Out, what are some things you no longer care about? Now that Paramenopause has hit, what do you not care about? But before we close the show, we gotta go quickly to 94 feet. Uh if you know, you know, let's get it. That defensive heat. All right. So uh thinking of good-looking black males. You only have one choice, coach. You always get confused on this segment. One choice.

SPEAKER_01 53:13

Attractive black men.

SPEAKER_02 53:15

Boris Kojo or Morris Chestnut. Wow. You making me pick? One choice. We already went over the rules before we started.

SPEAKER_01 53:25

I'm going Morris because I know you're going to pick the other one. All day long. I know you're going to pick the other one. So I I can't leave those guys out hanging.

SPEAKER_02 53:36

Okay, both good-looking guys, but you know me very well. Boris, it is. Bologna or a hot dog?

SPEAKER_01 53:46

Hey, I'm going to fry bologna all day, and I need to let it get bubble up in the top so I can, you know, put the little slit in there. Now you let it get crispy around the edges. Some crispy, crispy bologna.

SPEAKER_02 53:58

So you know a dinner bologna sandwich is just a bologna with the white bread, right? When you want to do breakfast bologna, you put that fried egg on it. Howl at me if you know about that fried egg and put it down there. But I'm gonna do a bologna sandwich, even though I do like a good grilled hot dog. Apple jacks or fruit loops? Ooh. Apple jacks. Fruit loops all day. Fruit loops. Okay, when you think about iconic commercials in your childhood, like Mike or Oscar Meyer Bologna commercial. Oscar Meyer Bologna commercial. Can you sing it? Uh no. I do like Oscar Meyer, but I'm going like Mike. You're going like Mike. I like like Mike. Okay. Ben and Jerry's ice cream or bluebell. Bluebell. Ooh, I'm with you, bluebell. Banana pudding. Oh, if you hadn't tried it, banana pudding ice cream is amazing. Last one. I know you're in the movies. One. One. Dirty dancing or fried green tomatoes. Dirty dancing. All day less. Patrick Swayze, I'm done. Dirty dancing. Do not put baby in the corner. Don't put baby in the corner. Well, thank you all for listening to another episode. Make sure you like, subscribe, uh, retweet all of it. Um, make sure that you hit us up. We look forward to hearing from you. Peace out. Get that back, go out, don't get it.