Influence Over Authority (Part 2)

In Part 2 of our Influence Over Authority series, we dive into one of the most overlooked truths about leadership: people don’t commit to leaders who use authority—they commit to leaders who genuinely care about them.

Influence grows when leaders shift their focus from being served to serving the people they lead.

In this episode, we talk about why the best leaders intentionally invest in their teams, understand the individual goals of the people they lead, and actively help them grow. When leaders take the time build relationships and to support their people’s ambitions, something powerful happens—trust increases, commitment grows, and the team becomes aligned around a shared purpose.

If we expect people to help us achieve our goals, we have to be willing to help them achieve theirs.

In this episode we discuss:

• Why genuine care is the foundation of leadership influence
• What it really means to serve your team as a leader
• How investing in individuals strengthens team performance
• Why helping others reach their goals builds lasting commitment

Leadership influence isn’t built through position or authority—it’s built through service.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:26

All right, and welcome back to the Second Mile Leadership Podcast. We are your hosts, Jason and Isaiah. And hopefully you tuned in for last episode where we started talking about influence and the utilization of influence over authority in the world of leadership. And you know, I saw something actually on social media today that that was interesting. It was by a very, very well-known leadership company, and they're people I respect immensely, but they had a picture up that said, if you interact with people, you're a leader. And my first response to that is that's not true. But in the caption, I think they rescued it because then they said what I was thinking in the moment was if you interact with people on a regular basis, you have the opportunity to lead. And that's a better way to say it. And because I don't think you're a leader just because you interact with people, and I don't think you're a leader just because you're a boss or have authority. I think you're a leader if your people see you that way and if you have influence over them. And every time we interact with a human being, we have an opportunity to lead. And, you know, we talk about the concept of having a leadership bank account, and every interaction is an opportunity to invest money in that account or pull money out and and you know, or or capital out is a is a better way to say that. So so that's one of the many ways we can think about leadership as it pertains to influence. And in the last episode, we talked about the importance of having a mission and a vision and how it really starts with mastering yourself first if you want to have influence. And we're going to touch on that even more today and in episode three of this conversation. But Isaiah, when you know, we're talking about influence, you know, I always teach the three-legged stool. And leg one, uh let me say it this way, leg three, we'll talk about in the next episode. But legs one and two is what we'll talk about today. And that really centers around care. And it's really hard to build influence as a leader if you don't genuinely care for your people and they don't know that you care for them. So kick us off today with your thoughts around uh where you want to go with this episode and how we can keep building out the avatar of what somebody who is a great builder of influence does.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

Yeah. First off, I want to point out you you said you were on social media earlier today. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Yeah, yeah, I was, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

Oof. Oof. Yeah. I'm just joking.

SPEAKER_01 2:45

You got a problem with that?

SPEAKER_00 2:46

This was uh you know, just a little bit. Just before workout, man.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

I get up at 2 30 every morning, you know, to work out and run 42 miles. And and it was before that workout that I was on social media just while I was using the restroom. That's it.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

Gotcha. That's unfortunate.

SPEAKER_01 3:03

Yeah, but I did 42 and then 5,000 pull-ups. So wow.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

I did 5,001 pull-ups right after. But that was my war business. Then I got into the workout. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:15

That was wild. Yeah. We're building a lot of influence here.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

Absolutely. Telling the truth, too.

SPEAKER_00 3:20

Um you and I often say that like the the followers really determine the leader. Um I think that's so, so, so, so true. You can be put in a management position, you can be put in a leadership position, and you have no freaking idea how to lead. Um, that's why we're here to help. But I I truly believe that when the followers see a tremendous amount of care for them as the individual from the leader, that they then view them as the leader. Um, and then based off of that, um, there are numerous uh benefits that come off of that. Um, but we can get into that in another episode. Um, but I think servant leadership has been thrown around so much, and it's so unfortunate because it is a really, really good concept, and the the term um is just I think it's being associated with something different. Um, when I say servant leadership, I'm not saying subservient leadership. Um, it does not mean that you get walked on all the time, doesn't mean that you're the welcome mat. It means that you serve and you love and you care for your people, exactly as Jesus did. So when we truly live our lives, when we lead in a way that shows care to our followers, it changes everything. This is a very, very simple little phrase, but it's the concept of we over me. Um, we should never be doing any of the things that we're trying to do in the business, in the family unit, whatever it is, for your benefit. It is for the benefit of your followers. And thus, your followers' benefit, I promise you on the back end, you will receive that benefit like tenfold. Um, so that's kind of where my mind first goes to. But I I've I've been kind of frustrated because I I think some people just use that in a in a way that it's like, oh, we'll just serve all the time. And you're like, yes, you should absolutely serve a crap ton of the time. And listen, I'm I'm the type of guy where I like um my my wife's drinking protein waters at the moment to try to hit her protein goal. And so I'm making those for her throughout the week. Um, I'm trying to help her meal prep throughout the week so she doesn't have to worry about any of that. So I'm trying to reduce any friction possible. I'm trying to serve her in any single way that I can to help her reach her goals. Um, but that doesn't mean that I should be walked on all the time either. It doesn't mean that I should do every little thing around the house. It doesn't mean that I should make all the food. Um, but I it it does mean that I should show a tremendous amount of love and care for her.

SPEAKER_01 5:57

Well, i a couple of things I want to, you know, uh elaborate on there from what you were talking about. First and foremost, one of the most important traits we must have as a leader is humility. And you're talking about service. Well, it takes a lot of humility to serve. But humility, and this is uh, you know, I've heard Simon Sinek say this, and I don't know if he's the originator of it. Um funny thing is, is I had a social media post I put out a month or so ago and and gave credit to Simon Sinek for the term leaders eat last. And I had somebody come in my comments, that's a marine term, not a Simon Sinek term, and kind of roasted me a little bit. Yeah, right. So uh so I want to I don't know if Simon Sinek's the one that said this, but that's where I heard it, and that is that humility is not thinking less of yourself, but it's thinking of yourself less. So when you talk about service, not being subservient, subservience where I, you know, a lot of leadership, and if we want to just talk about the service part of that, you know, it it's it's a mindset, it's a way of thinking, it's a way of being. It and and when we talk about service, we're not talking about being subservient or being lesser than or thinking lesser than of yourself. It is positioning yourself a certain way in your mind so that you know that your default way of being when you walk in the door is to serve the people. Why are you doing that? You're doing that because they are theoretically working their butts off for you. So it's the least you can do. Um the uh there's three things I wanted uh to kind of pull on here, then I'll let you elaborate on the third one. But the second one is I've always, well, I don't know if always is the right word as much as I've evolved into realizing that the term servant leadership is redundant because the question is can you lead without service? So do we need the servant part of that? Um, you know, if you're gonna tell me there's a different kind of leadership that doesn't involve service, then it's not leadership. So I think every style and type of leadership should involve a high level of service. And then one concept I want to introduce, we touched out on the last episode, and Isaiah, I'll let you run with uh debate on this one, but we're talking about influence, okay? We're talking about the idea that, okay, we don't want the people around us to perform and execute at a high level because we're making them. In fact, that won't even work. It doesn't work because me telling you to do something almost never elicits your best performance. But you doing it because you want to do it, because you're fired up about it, because you believe in it, more often than not will deliver top-level performance. So if we want to to have our team operating at the highest level, then they need to, or we need to have the influence with them so that they check all those boxes of wanting to do it. They're fired up, they believe in it, they they're bought into the cause, all the things. Well, one of the biggest ways we do that is by genuinely, and I use that word very emphatically here, genuinely loving and caring about the people that we that we lead. And I think for a lot of people, learning to do that is an evolution. I don't know how natural it comes to us to genuinely love and care for people that either we don't really know very well or maybe that we don't even like. Um, I don't think that that is our default as humans. And I think it's an evolution and a growth and and and oftentimes a skill and and sometimes maybe just a reevaluation of our hearts that lead us to genuinely, genuinely loving and caring for the people we serve and lead and and and helping them accomplish their goals and wanting the best for them. So when we when we're able to genuinely have that heart transformation, then there's a lot of influence that comes from that. The reason that works so well, and I even hate to use that verb is because it sounds like it's a ploy or a trick or a manipulation, but it's absolutely not. But the reason it works so well with humans is because of the law of reciprocity that we did touch on last episode. And that is just the way we are wired. We are reciprocal creatures. So when something is done for us or to us, there's a feeling or a need to want to reciprocate that action on some level. I'm not saying we're trying to meet the action with the same action, but we want to meet it with some kind of something. So you give me a gift, I'm gonna want to say thank you. You give me a gift, I may want to get you a gift. You know, you do a favor for me, I want to do a favor for you. That's just the way we're wired. So, Isaiah, let's elaborate on this law of reciprocity thing. You're you are genuinely one of the most loving, caring humans I've known. It's one of the reasons I love you to death. And how have you seen the law of reciprocity show up in your life, either in your your personal life or in your um work life, where this cause because one thing for people who don't know Isaiah, his love and care for people is genuine, as genuine as I've been around. So that you've had to have seen how that affects other people. So elaborate on that for us. Like, how have you seen that placement of your heart affect other people?

SPEAKER_00 10:46

Yeah, that's such a good question. Um, my mind immediately goes to you, you have to you have to develop that internally before you see any effects of it externally. Um there was a a long time in my life where I did not have um a deep amount of love and care in my heart. I would see um people hurting, or I would see people that are mistreated or you know, bullied in high school, or whatever it was. My heart would be like, yeah, that's not good, but my heart wouldn't break for those people. And I believe what what changed is that I was like, I mean, uh realistically, I came to know Christ. People in the church often use the metaphor of like God kind of pours into your cup and then you pour out of that cup into others' cups. Well, if you think about it, that is essentially the law of reciprocity. It's hey, I'm receiving all this love from Jesus, and then I'm taking that love and then I'm pouring it out into other people. Those people receive that love. Um, and if it's genuine love, then they don't really have an option. It's it's like, okay, well, I need to pour this back in, or I need to pour this to someone else. Um, there's an example too of I where Jordan and I um I'll I'll share a brief funny story. There was this like Wednesday night college um group. I think your daughter's gone to it a couple of times, Jason. Yeah. But they like that's where Jordan and I kind of reconnected um when we were in college because we met in high school. And in like she didn't know that I went, I just kind of sat two rows behind her, like a creepy stalker guy. Um, and then you know, eventually we started talking and everything, and everything worked out. So that's that's great.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

But so so so your message is stalking works. Correct, correct. Got it, got it. I don't know. Write that down.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

I don't know if I would use that direct quotation. Um, but hey, it it's sounds like that's what you did. So yes, continue. Um but anyways, um in that Wednesday night group, one day, this was insane because as like a broke college kid, um receiving this was crazy, but they had an envelope for every single person that was there. Um and they gave it like a undisclosed amount of money to to every single kid. Um, and it was from this extremely wealthy family in the area that they wanted to like exemplify and show the gift that giving can bring to the individual. So when you give out of the kindness of your heart, like you just you like you feel better. Um that's why it says it's more blessed to give than receive. And so I got that gift and um Jordan and I like just started talking around this time. Like I think I I can't remember exactly where she used her money, but I remember using it um to pay for like a few cars behind me. Uh I don't know what how many cars it ended up being, but in a drive-thru line. And like it genuinely just felt so good. I don't exactly know what those people did with the money that they saved from that. Um, but I do know that it it felt amazing to me and it it kind of lifted me up um because of the the generosity that those people showed to me. Um, and then it led me to being a more giving person, like that one instance, and I think it was like 20 bucks, it was nothing crazy. Um, but the the law of reciprocity is huge. Like you understand that concept and you enact it in your day-to-day life. It g it it truly has the power to change everything in your life. Um, it's it's been so cool to see it work out on the back end of things, um, because you just starting to get to know a new employee. Um, there's not a great relationship there, but then you do something like genuinely kind and loving to them. Um one, it it builds the relationship, it shows care, all that's beautiful. Um, two, they then want to work harder for you as a result of that. So I could go on and on about that, but yeah, that that's where my my mind goes to first.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

Yeah, and as long as the the things that you're doing and and your heart and the things you do are genuine and sincere, and you're not doing them for the reciprocity of it. We're talking about the law of reciprocity. It's just a byproduct of being a good human, a byproduct of a loving and caring about people. Be very clear on this. This is not a manipulation tool to where we pretend like we are those things so that we get something out of people. That's bull crap, and that that makes you the opposite of a leader. So that's why the first step in being a great leader is the evolution of your heart, right? And I went through a similar thing as Isaiah. I remember I tell this story a lot, but when I was new to business a couple decades ago, it was about money to me. And not because I was making so much, I wanted to be rich, it's because I was new to business and didn't have any money. So I saw you as a dollar sign and I saw, look, if I don't sign you up as my client, I don't eat. My family doesn't eat, so I need your money. Well, regardless if, you know, that was a maybe an un understandable way to think, I promise you, the people across from me felt that from me. They did not feel genuineness from me. So yeah. So something happened to me a few years after that phase of my life where, and I always give credit to God on this as I should, because I don't know that I did anything myself to work on this other than talk to God about it. And and he worked on my heart. And at some point, I made the evolution of realizing, you know what, everyone I come into contact with is a son or daughter of God. And I am called to love them like he does. And I'm called to guide them to the best lives that they can possibly lead because that's what he would want me to do. And, you know, the first thing when I turned this over to Isaiah a minute ago, he brought up was Jesus, right? He talks about filling your cup and and when you feel the love of Christ, you know, you don't have any option or choice, again, absent being a psychopath or sociopath, but to turn around and extend that to others. That, you know, that so I'm a fervent believer that God gave us that law of reciprocity so we could turn his love back to others. And that's what we are called to do. And when you come from that mindset around it and and you have that evolution of your heart, then it is genuine, it is real. And then any fruits that come from that to me are valid because there's no manipulation involved. And one of the best books I've read on this is Lead Like Jesus. I remember, so I've been a leadership coach for quite a while, and I have not always done the best job of coaching leadership from a biblical perspective. And this was about a year and a half ago, and I'm not sure how much of this Isaiah remembers, but um, I really wanted to bring a concept of reciprocity. I'm sorry, reciprocity, that word's in my head, of radical candor to the Chick-fil-A organization that that we run. And and that is making sure we're having honest conversations with each other. So there's no no stone unturned, no words left unsaid. And that's one of the best ways to resolve conflict or to avoid it in the first place. So I said, okay, well, I've got to model this. And I went around to all the leaders and said, give me radical candor. And the number one thing Isaiah said to me that he thought I could do better was teach from more of a biblical perspective. Do you remember that?

SPEAKER_00 18:00

Yeah, I do.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

Yeah. And I took that to heart and I took it seriously. And I think that I've evolved in that. I I use it more in my coaching. Now it's always been something that I've taught my kids and worked with on them, but I haven't brought it to coaching because let's face it, and this is a bull crap excuse. I'm I'm I'm being very transparent about that. But we live in a secular world and you never know who wants that and who doesn't. So I've just kind of kept that to me and my family, and that was a mistake. And Isaiah was kind enough to call me on that. But on the heels of that, the very next thing I did was I bought a book called Lee Like Jesus. And and I read that book, and then we introduced it to our leadership team. And in that book, it talks about this exact concept. And it's a Ken Blanchard book, if you want to read it, but he talks about heart to head to hands to habits, and that's the way Jesus led. And it was he's going to love people because he is God and he's going to love people. And that love is going to change the way he thinks or dictate the way he thinks. It's maybe change the way we think. He was always that way. So it it dictated the way he thinks. The way you think will dictate the way you act and behave, and your consistent behavior becomes your habits. But it starts with the heart and it starts with the genuine love and care of the people that you lead. And when you do that, I think anyone listening has been on the other end of this where you could say, Hey, when someone took good care of me, when someone invested in me, when someone someone showed love for me, especially if this has ever happened to you at work, if it hasn't, I'm sorry. But if it has, you were probably had a little more pep in your step and were more willing to work hard and more bought into the cause and all the things. Because that's just the way we're wired. You know, if we're going to be great leaders, let's tap into the hard wiring and the default way of human nature and the in the and the human condition to lead. And this is the greatest way we can do it is by genuinely loving and serving the people that that we are called to lead. And I always use the example of the of the upside down org chart, right? If you're the top of the org chart, flip it upside down, put yourself at the bottom when it comes to service. And then we we lead upwards from there and we serve upwards from there. And that way, uh that style of leadership, and that's the only style of leadership, I believe, has profound effects and it's the right way to go about your business. Thoughts? I love that.

SPEAKER_00 20:06

I love that. Um I think care is it's so talked about, and it's so many people throw it out as just a general term, but what is what does the care actually look like? Um, and it can look like a ton of things, but when you when you're thinking about it from the perspective of, okay, I'm I'm the leader of this organization, I'm the leader of this meeting, leader of this family unit, and I am trying to influence these people. I'm trying to either get them to a certain goal, um, and sometimes like generally you are trying to change their mind on something. Um, and that's not manipulation, it's hey, I see what's good for you in the future, um, and I want to help you get there. Um I in my I'm trying to wrap my head around this as you and I are talking here, but if care is your standard, um, people will automatically default to your lowest standard. I think Jason and I have talked about on this podcast before. Um, but if care is your standard, and then there is one single instance of you not caring about something, if it's you walk by the piece of trash, you don't pick it up, it's you show way too much frustration um during a meeting and it's it's not called for and there's not a reason for it. If it is, hey, there was an opportunity for you to like pour into this person or they're they were having a really difficult time and you didn't show them care, whatever it is, you can lose all of the instant or all of your influence just like that. And it's it it can s it I've seen it happen to people and it's it's almost like was your heart actually ever fully there? Were you actually ever fully caring for the person if that happened?

SPEAKER_01 21:56

That's exactly what they think to themselves when you have those bad moments. Did he actually care?

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Yep. Yep. And that's not to say that we can't have F ups. That's not to say that that we're all perfect and that that that will never happen. Um, but it is to say that it it will grow a question in the mind of your followers whenever that whenever that happens.

SPEAKER_01 22:16

Um Can I pull that thread real quick, real quick before you go to the next thing? So let me highlight that because that's a great example you brought up, is we are gonna miss the mark sometimes. So if you're listening going Oh, so I got to be perfect? No. But when you do mess it up and you do fail to show care, because sometimes we don't show care because we're in a hurry, we have something else on our mind, or you know, whatever, things happen. But it's when you fail to show care, what do you do about it to make up for it? And someone who genuinely doesn't care will never come back around to address it, will never come back around to have that discussion. They'll just let the lack of care sit and stand because they actually didn't care. So when you do mess it up or you do make somebody feel like you don't care, go rescue it. Genuinely rescue it. Apologize, own it. Tell them you that that what was really going on in your head and that was no excuse, but that's what was happening, and you'll do better next time. So a lot of times as a leader, it's not so much whether or not we make the mistake, it's how we handle the mistake once we made it.

SPEAKER_00 23:08

100%. 100%. And then my mind goes to okay, so then how do we actually show care to another human being? How can we influence our followers? How can we show them that that we truly care about them? There's a ton of different ways that you can go about this. Um building relationships is to me absolutely paramount. Um and there's most people have probably heard the thought process before of I'm gonna learn their favorite sports team. They like the Braves, I'm gonna ask them about the Braves sometimes. And like that's not bad. That is that that is a that is a generally good tactic. It's not amazing. It's a good tactic. I I put it at a a C plus B minus level. It's a starting point. It is a it is a really, really good starting point. Um, when you continue to progress and you want that relationship to grow and you want to build more influence with that person, whenever there is a trial, there's an opportunity for you to show care. And I I try to see any sort of trial like that. Um so Jason, you may not notice this, but when like I think you and Kelly were sick a week or two ago or a few weeks ago.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:22

Whatever it was, like I'm going to jump on that. Like, whatever I can do, can I bring you soup? Can I can I go to the grocery store? What what can I do? Can I bring you meds? What what can I do to help? Um, because I generally want to grow that influence and because I do care about you as a human being. Um, those instances are oftentimes our greatest opportunities to build a tremendous amount of care with others.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

Well, and I think too, first and foremost, this this shows you the evil of Isaiah. He brings wants to bring soup to Kelly who has a gluten allergy to make her sicker. And he didn't say that part, but we all know the real impetus behind it. So anyway, yeah, we knew. We were aware, we're on to you. Anything to keep us out of the building. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

I thought you would know it was gluten-free or something.

SPEAKER_01 25:10

So no, we don't have gluten-free soup at Chick-fil-A. But anyway, um uh you know, uh you said something interesting there that I wanted to elaborate on too. You're talking about, okay, well, I want to bring the soup or I want to do the thing, I want to take care of them. So a lot of times when we we teach this concept, I can look at people's eyes and and see and read when they're thinking to themselves, how do I learn to care like that? Because it is not most people's way of being, like we said earlier. It wasn't mine. Isaiah mentioned earlier that it wasn't his. So I think there's a lot of ways we can evolve this. I think you know, getting closer to God is is the best way if we want to go to another way to do it, is let's say that you know people who are sick, and let's keep on that theme, and you have to remind yourself, oh, maybe it'd be a good idea to bring them soup because that's the right thing to do. Okay, you're not really doing it because your heart called you to. You're doing it because it's a box you wanted to check. And that might feel like uh it's it's surface level deep at the most. But the reality is that is a way to learn how to be better at caring for people. Because what happens is you do bring the soup and it makes you feel good because you realize you help that family, you help that person. And oh man, that felt pretty good. And the next time an opportunity comes up, if you remind yourself, oh, maybe I should do something nice for them, you do that. And that felt pretty good too. And if you do that long enough, you know, the science behind it would be back to the neuroplasticity of the rewiring of the brain. I think that's one of the scientific ways you could evolve your heart in somebody that cares because I'm a firm believer, and this is biblical as well. We are called to serve. We are wired to serve. And in fact, when I'm coaching somebody who maybe's going through some anxiety issues or depression, I'm not a therapist, I don't treat those things, but we can have discussions around them. And there's tactics we can use sometimes to help those things. The number one thing I recommend is go serve, especially when someone's feeling depressed. Go serve. Go serve somebody, right? And and because it has a really wild way of making us feel really good. Because that's what we're supposed to be and do as humans. And if you do that enough, a lot of times it will evolve your heart. And as somebody who does that, it's just part of who they are and what and and part of their character. Um also elaborating on what Isaiah talked about relationships. So one of the things that that that I coach is level one, two, and three relationship building. So level one is what he talks about. What's your favorite sports team? Where do you go to school? What do you do for a living? You know, how do you feel about the weather today? Those are surface level. Maybe you can liken it to a first date. Right? So if I go on a first date, um, I'm not looking to get into their deepest, darkest secrets. That's kind of weird. We're just gonna talk about surfacey stuff to get to know each other. Uh, we tend to do that at work really well. Most people do, because it's other the opposite is is weird as well, is we don't speak at all. So we tend to have surface relationships at work. And there's nothing wrong with that. Like we said earlier, it's a starting point, it's a jumping off point. But as a leader, you need to have intentionality to pull those relationships a level deeper if you can. And level two relationship building might just be hey, what are your goals? What are you trying to accomplish? Like, what what do you love to do that no one knows about? I mean, just kind of things you might talk about on a fourth, fifth, or sixth date. Um and then that's where I think most leaders will live. That's where most work uh-based relationships will live. The it's almost like a bell curve, right? You'll have a few that stay surface-y because the person won't allow it to go deeper. Then you'll have the bulk of them in the middle of that level two, and then there might be some that evolve into level three, and that's where you get into deepest, darkest secrets, and you really know somebody on a more uh relationally intimate level, not physically intimate level. Um, but but uh uh you know then.

SPEAKER_00 28:50

That's first aid stuff right there.

SPEAKER_01 28:52

Absolutely it is. So, so but as a leader, we have to have intentionality to move through those levels to get to that with as many people as we can, because that, like I said, is another way to build influence. So when we talk about showing care, those relationship building uh methodologies or or or the evolution of that within all your relationships is paramount because I don't know how I can lead somebody if I don't know where they're going. And I don't know where they're going when we just talk surface level. But I do know where they're going if we get to that level two relationship, and then I can help them on a higher level, which is a great segue into another way we can show care is by investing in people and helping people realize their goals or move towards their goals. And that's something I know Isaiah and I coach a lot. So, Isaiah, what is what what do you do? How what are your ways of helping people accomplish their goals? So Mary Smith comes to you and says, Hey, I really want to work at Chick-fil-A Support Center one day. What does that what does Isaiah do with that information? How do you show care to somebody in that situation?

SPEAKER_00 29:51

Yeah. First off, I'm gonna ask really a a ton of questions to to get more context. So let's say, yeah, it's Mary, she wants to work at Support Center. Um, okay, well, what area do you want to work in? Okay, you don't know? Okay, well, then let's help you figure out that piece. Because I want to make sure that we actually have a target that we're going towards. Um, because some people will just throw that out there. Um, they don't even know what that means. They don't even know where support center is, they don't know um what all that entails, all that good stuff.

SPEAKER_01 30:19

So support center for those listening, that's a great point, Isaiah, by the way. The support center is Chick-fil-A's corporate office. And it's funny you say that because I went to that, I went down there the other day and the chief marketing officer for Mercedes Benz was speaking to us, and she said that she had never heard the term support center used for a corporate a corporate office, a home office. So I that just clicked people may not know what that is, but that's the corporate office of Chick-fil-A.

SPEAKER_00 30:44

Yep. It's what Home Depot uses too, and I think it's become more popular. Interesting. But uh yeah. Um but the the general idea is hey, I want to make sure that that you know your target so that we can aim at the at the same thing. So okay, now that we have that, um I'm I I need to really figure out what gaps you have. Um and if I already have the knowledge of whatever it is, so let's say you're going into something super specific, let's say that she wants to go be an accountant at um at Support Center. Okay, well, I can give you some basic accounting skills. No, I'm not a certified accountant, I can do everything, um, not my job. Um, but what I can do is I can try to learn everything that I can to then assist you. Um so if it's even just me saying, hey, this is a really good resource, I I've looked into our research, I think this is an amazing resource for you to look into, even though I may not have to understand all of it. But let's say that's something a little bit more general. Let's say it's non-accounting, let's say that she wants to go work in um the marketing world. Okay, I know some stuff about marketing. So I'm going to give you every single thing that I know about marketing. And then what I'm going to do on top of that is I'm going to learn more about marketing through books, through podcasts, through um courses, through whatever it is. So then I can then give that information to you so you can apply it, go do what you want to in the future. Um, so first off, it's understanding what they actually truly want. Um, and then two, it's checking do we have the resources to help them get there? If we don't, then we need to develop the resources to help them get there.

SPEAKER_01 32:25

Yeah, and I think uh too, and and maybe you alluded to this, but you know, do we have a role within the organization that we could put them in that would help them learn those skills as well? But but the whole theme of it is we are it is our obligation to help them accomplish their goals. And that is a an incredible way in the workplace to show care. And it's wild to me that not enough people feel this way or understand this concept because and I tell the guys at Chick-fil-A this how dare we ask somebody to show up and help us accomplish their goals, but not care one crap about the goals that they want to accomplish. It's wrong. It's wrong. It just is. It's wrong. And so when relationships work the best is when they're symbiotic, when there is that reciprocity. And and we have to evolve and develop those relationships in the workplace because otherwise we don't have a right to ask for their best effort. We don't have a right to say, hey, help us accomplish our mission. And they can say in their minds, well, what about my personal life mission? Oh, we don't care about that. How in the world does that work? How does how A, how is that okay? And B, how do we ever expect to get somebody's best performance? How do we expect them to be bought in if we don't care about them? So as we round out this episode, you know, if you look at the last episode in this episode, there's a running theme. And the theme is, hey, when we create a vision and a mission for the organization, make sure that vision and mission benefits the people as well, not just the organization or the leaders of that organization. And when we're building influence, make sure we're extending care and we care about their goals. We care about their family lives. You know, you know, it that are we allowing them to have time off to tend to their family issues? Or are we, you know, trying to drive them into the ground with overworking them? Um, are we expecting them to answer the call at 9 30 at night on a Friday when they're trying to have family time? You know, it's extending care to people in every way that we can think about. And this is why I talk about leadership as a mindset. It's a way of thinking. And your default way of thinking, if you want to be a great leader, and I get very passionate about this topic, if you want to be a great leader, your default way of thinking better be all the time, how can I make these people's lives better? Period. And there's a lot of ways to do that. And when your mind thinks that way and it's always tuned into that, you will get more creative and the and the avenues in which you can execute that. But the minute we make it about us, the minute we make it about our egos, the minute we make it about our goals, that channel in our brain shuts down. We are no longer have those channels open to ideas of how we can show care, and we stop showing care. The people pick up on that, they stop caring about us and our goals, and the whole thing falls apart. So if you want to be somebody who builds influence, create a vision and mission that benefits the organization, of course, but also benefits the people. Develop yourself and master yourself in a way that you you you check your ego at the door, you manage your emotions at a high level, and you develop the love and care of other people. And what we talked about today was how you execute that love and care. And if you can have that be your default way of being and you can have that be what your genuine heart stands for and what you genuinely believe in, you will have no problem building influence. You will have no problem building relationships. There's still one leg of the stool, though, which we'll talk about in episode three that has to be in place. But once we check those boxes, we're a long way down the road. So with that being said, Isaiah, close us out. Um, any last words? I think you know, I'm gonna glaze him. He lay every compliment each other, he likes to say it's glaze. I call it a compliment, but I'm not young and hip like him. So uh but but Isaiah is is is phenomenal at this. He is he he he is he knows this already. He's one of my favorite people on earth, and and the last two and a half years getting to know him has been one of the one of the greatest joys and and and honors of my life, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. He's just one of those people that you want in your life, and and I feel that way because he executes this at a high level. So with that being said, and that was genuine, not glaze, um when I say all that or or or everything I said the last two or three minutes, what's a great way to close this the this this episode out? What's a message you can get people to take home?

SPEAKER_00 36:17

Yeah, I wanna my mind was thinking as you're talking, and uh well, first off, I appreciate all that. It's very kind of you. But second, uh when it's when there's a difficult conversation that happens, um, because we we talk about care and and during the good times, all of it's relatively easy. Some people really, really struggle to see it in the hard times. When you have to give that person the difficult feedback, um, when they need to hear it, even though they're in a struggling period, whatever it is. Um when it comes across as like your thoughts are generally geared towards how can I help this person do what they need to do to succeed? It's not, hey, how can I help the business succeed? They're missing the mark, or hey, how can I make my job easier by them actually doing their job? Um, how can I best serve me? No, it is literally all about them. It is all about them. So when your mindset shifts to I care about this person across from me so incredibly much that I'm going to speak a different way, that I'm going to tap into something different in my mind that is just genuine love and care for them. Um, it changes the entire dynamic of the conversation. Um, and I think that that person truly feels it. You you alluded to that earlier. Um, but I've had a few difficult conversations within the past couple years. And I've had, I think it's three total, people that have come back up to me that have said, thank you so much, or something along those lines. And like you should it's very rare that that happens because most times people will be upset even if they, even if they don't say, even if they don't show it, they still have a thought in the back of their mind. Um, but down the road, they're gonna be like, damn, like I appreciate that. That's the that's the easy teacher versus the teacher that was on your ass the whole time back in the day. Um and I I just I want to give that word too, um, because I think some people think of care as all this frou fru stuff, and it's like it it is genuinely loving and caring for the person, but you can do that with tough love as well.

SPEAKER_01 38:28

Yeah, I'm so glad you you said that. That was actually something that we should have touched on earlier because showing care is not all roses and rainbows. It's it's saying the hard thing too. And it's it's it's doing the kind thing that we talk about, not the nice thing. It's allowing yourself as a leader to be uncomfortable. Um, I made a video the other day talking about you know what separates good leaders or or average leaders from great leaders is their tolerance for discomfort and their tolerance for tough conversations and tough feedback. And when those tough uh pieces of tough feedback are given out of love and care, they're they're incredibly valuable. So yeah, I'm glad you closed it with that because that's that's a very important point to make that care can be ugly sometimes too. And if you don't believe that, if you have kids, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Um it can be really tough, um, but at the end of the day, you got to tell people what they need to hear. So great way to close it. I appreciate it. Thanks everyone for listening. And again, this is part two of a three-part episode. And next week we will come back and touch on the four C's. We were gonna do it today, but we flipped it, and we'll come back and talk about the four C's, and and that'll close out the conversation on influence. And once you combine all three of these episodes and you can make this your way of leading, I promise you you will see incredible transformations in every area of your life. So thanks again for listening. We'll wrap it up there. If you guys are liking the podcast, you like our message, you like what we're doing, please let us know that and and please give us a five star rating. If you don't think we deserve that or you think there's things we could be doing better, please reach out and tell us that as well. That is incredibly valuable for us to know because we're trying to we're we're newer to this, so we're trying to be the best we can at it and make sure we're delivering the message you guys want to hear. So uh do that. That would be greatly appreciated. And until next week, we will see you then.

SPEAKER_00 40:08

Adios.