The Dire-Rie of a Sane Black Woman
Ever felt like your darkest fears of being watched were actually true? Marie's powerful documentation pulls back the curtain on life as a targeted individual—where privacy becomes fiction and safety an illusion.
Marie begins her raw, unfiltered account by describing how traditional authorities—police, FBI, employers, and school officials etc.—have failed her, offering therapy referrals instead of protection. "To me, that's just a nice way of saying you're crazy," she explains, highlighting the profound isolation that comes when systems designed for protection become another form of gaslighting.
The Dire-Rie of a Sane Black Woman
Gaslit and Dismissed: Exploring Identity Through Gaslighting and Societal Labels
What happens when society constantly dismisses your truth? Welcome to the unfiltered journey of "The Diary of a Sane Black Woman," where I unpack the powerful meaning behind this carefully chosen title.
The name itself contains intentional wordplay—"Dire" capturing the gravity of my current situation combined with "rie" from my name, Marie. But it's the words "Sane" and "Black" that carry the most weight. Throughout history, Black women have been systematically ignored when reporting problems and labeled with harmful stereotypes that serve to silence us. When we speak up, we're "angry Black women." When we endure hardship, we're praised as "strong Black women"—a backhanded compliment that actually expects us to withstand unlimited abuse without complaint.
This episode dives deep into gaslighting—that insidious form of emotional manipulation where someone creates a false narrative that makes you question your reality and sanity. The term originated from the 1944 film "Gaslight," where a husband manipulates his wife by dimming lights and then denying any change when she notices. My experience mirrors this classic example: having my algorithm manipulated, my truth twisted, and my character smeared through campaigns designed to make me appear unstable.
Unlike highly produced podcasts, I'm embracing imperfection in this series. As a self-proclaimed perfectionist, this approach represents my commitment to authenticity over polish. I'm simply speaking my truth, documenting my experiences, and inviting you along for this journey of reclamation. If you've ever had your reality questioned or been made to feel like the "crazy one," you'll find validation and community here. Subscribe now to follow this ongoing exploration of identity, truth, and the power of owning your narrative.
So I'm back. I wanted to kind of talk about the name of the docuseries. So you all may be wondering why the Diary of a Sane Black Woman and why that spelling? First and foremost, yes, it's a play on words, and for someone like myself who almost always looks up words when writing, even those words that I use regularly, um, I thought it was a pretty um interesting play on on on the word diary. Um so dire, which means terrible, disastrous, appalling and so forth and so on, is probably a very accurate way to describe the situation that I'm in currently, and re is just a play on the ending of my name, marie.
Speaker 1:So now let's take a look at sane and black. Um, these are two very important words, uh, because, historically and statistically speaking, black women often get ignored whenever they report something, whether it's medically or otherwise, right? Um, if we take the example of the missing Black female versus that of another ethnicity, that's just one. These are probably two of the main examples that many people have seen in the news medical reports or, you know, missing people. So that's one aspect of it. So, um, that's one aspect of it, right? Um? The other aspect is Black women often get labeled as angry Black women, the angry Black woman, as if, um, we're just supposed to take disrespect and not stand up for ourselves. Um, so I mean, and oh, don't forget the strong black women, the strong black women. Now, many might take that as a compliment. I probably used to take that as a compliment once upon a time, but, you know, as you kind of grow and mature, you kind of see that it's not really a compliment To me. I see it as someone who you're being looked at as someone who's just supposed to take an unlimited amount of abuse and just endure it without speaking up for yourself or just continue to take it right. And so that's basically why, you know, I felt the need to insert that in the title and to kind of highlight that in this episode.
Speaker 1:Now let's take a closer look around the word same right, the same part again. It's just people basically dismissing your truth and your reality. And so, basically, let's make her look crazy by messing with her algorithm, twisting the truth, running a smear campaign that's basically operated by bots and human agents. Ladies and gentlemen, that is the perfect example of what gaslighting is. This word has gotten very popular over the past two years, and I know why, but I digress.
Speaker 1:I'll probably cover that in another episode, but according to an article titled Gaslighting Warning Signs, examples and how to Respond by Very Well Mind and also their definition, was cited from I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing his name correctly Breen's J Call Me Crazy the Subtle Power of Gaslighting, and this was from a Berkeley Science Review from April 2012. It states that gaslighting is a form of manipulation that often occurs in abusive relationships. It's a covert type of emotional abuse where the bully or abuser misleads the target, creating a false narrative and making them question their judgment and reality. Ultimately, the victim of gaslighting starts to feel unsure about their perceptions of the world and wonders if they are losing their sanity. So that is the quoted definition from the very well-mined article I read from Psychology Today. It goes into how to recognize the four tactics of gaslighting, and so one of the examples that it provides that you know, usually gaslighters will often say oh, that never happened, you must be imagining it. Everyone agrees with me. You're overreacting. You know, no one else thinks that way, right? So that was some of the examples that they gave. Basically, you know, the person that's gaslighting you is essentially saying that you're crazy and that you've lost it and that you've lost it.
Speaker 1:The article also goes into the historical background of the term gaslighting. I know a lot of people just throws the word around, but you know it's. I mean, if you don't know what, where it comes from, you know. I think the historical context also, um, you know, gives a lot of insight into, um, what gaslighting is, um, especially in, in, um, the context, in my context, um. So, that being said, um, and I quote, um, this is from the psychology, uh, the psychology today, um article.
Speaker 1:It says the term comes from the 1944 movie Gaslight, starring Ingrid Bergman, and in the movie Bergman plays a wife, paula, whose reality is slowly being undermined by her supposedly devoted husband, gregory, and as he manipulates her mind, his nefarious goal is to have her institutionalized so he can gain access to her fortune. The title comes from Gregory's habit of secretly digging through the attic for Paula's hidden jewels. When he creeps upstairs and turns on the lights in the attic, the rest of the gas lights in the house dim accordingly. Paula becomes suspicious, but when she asks Gregory about the dimming lights, he acts like she's crazy. She must be imagining things. They're just as bright as always. Why don't you rest a while? Gregory suggests. You know you haven't been well. In some ways the movie is dead on. The mind games Gregory plays are diabolical. That's what the article says. And it also says that he tells Paula's friends that she's unstable. And in the article also says that he isolates her from the family. He disguises cutting invalidations as statements of concern and he hides her belongings, then questions her sanity when she can't find them. In short, he messes not only with her but with the people and objects around her to alter her reality and make her think she's losing it. End quote.
Speaker 1:So this was basically an excerpt from the article from Psychology Today, and so the title of my docu-series was not only chosen because of the play on the word dire and Marie, but also because of my experience with gaslighters, and I thought it was very important to kind of go through that. I'll be doing short Um. I'll be doing short um, basically um episodes and then probably longer ones, um. You know when it comes to it, when I actually go through my actual experiences. But I think it's very important to go through um. You know the reason why I'm doing this docu-series um. You know the, the definitions of the words that you know.
Speaker 1:I feel that I resonate with um and also just to kind of be authentic, my authentic self, um. And again, this is not like a uh, you know, high production, uh, podcast, you know, um. And this is not like the perfect recording, not using perfect tools. And for someone like myself who likes to say that I'm a perfectionist, um, you know, I'm just kind of recording and going with it, as you know, going with the flow, and if I mess up along the way, so be it, and I'll see you in the next episode. Thank you for listening.