Kind of a Big Deal

The Power of the Pause: Redefining Success

• Kristin Belden • Season 1 • Episode 1

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What if the next big step in your career isn’t a title - but how you feel when you get there?


Join me as I sit down with Glenda Watry to explore the unique challenges women face in leadership roles and the importance of connection, mentorship, and personal evolution. Our conversation dives into how personal experiences shape professional paths and the necessity of creating supportive networks for women in the workplace.

You'll Learn:

⭐ The balance between ambition and authenticity in leadership
⭐ The value of mentorship and supportive communities
⭐ How to set boundaries and prioritizing wellbeing
⭐ The importance of defining your purpose beyond titles and achievements

Key Insights:

  • Empowerment through Connection: Establishing strong, trusting relationships can enhance personal and professional growth.
  • Navigating Challenges: Women often have to navigate a competitive landscape; finding supportive mentors can help avoid common pitfalls.
  • Power of the Pause: Taking intentional breaks can lead to significant personal insights and better work-life balance.
  • Defined Success: Redefining what success looks like on an individual basis is crucial for authentic fulfillment.

Timestamps:

  • [00:00:01] - Introduction of hosts
  • [00:02:50] - Glenda shares her current focus on supporting women in leadership.
  • [00:04:00] - Discussion on loneliness in leadership roles.
  • [00:09:02] - Glenda reflects on her pivotal career moments.
  • [00:12:14] - The importance of listening to personal health and balance.
  • [00:20:30] - Encouragement to rethink how to define success.
  • [00:40:00] - Glenda shares her key takeaways for women navigating their careers.

Resources:


If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review! And if you're interested in more stories and tools for women leaders, sign up for my newsletter at Beldenstrategies.com. Let's continue to empower each other in our journeys!



Speaker: [00:00:00] Hi everyone. Welcome to kind of a big deal. I am so excited about this series. I am so excited to have you here to listen, and I am super excited to introduce you to my very first guest. You know when you meet someone and within like 30 seconds you think, I need that woman in my life. That's how I felt when I first heard Glenda Watchy speak.

She's warm wise and has that really cool mix of energy and authenticity. That makes you want to lean in and hear more. In today's episode, Glenda shares her journey from big corporate leadership roles to building her own practice and the really important pivotal pauses and lessons along the way. If you've ever wondered how to slow down without losing momentum, this conversation is for you.

Let's get into it.

Speaker 3: Hi, Glenda, Kristen, how are you? I'm good. It's so good to see you. I'm gonna pretend like we haven't been just chatting for the last hour.[00:01:00] 

Um, I always love our time together and I don't even know if I've shared this with you yet. Have I shared with you the name of the series that I'm Frank? No, you haven't. Okay. I'm calling it kind of a big deal. Which is my nod to our, as in women's kind of tendency to downplay our own successes and accomplishments, um, but also to focus on the reality that these leadership journeys are intrinsically difficult, um, and can be wild and can be challenging.

So really a sound big deal. Um, and you are kind of a big deal and so I wanna highlight just how amazing you are as part of our conversation. Um. So before you introduce yourself, I just wanted to start with a little bit of a background, um, kind of on how we came into each other's lives, which, uh, was we just realized just a little over a year ago at a coaching conference that we were both a part of.

Um, best thing you could ever do for yourself. By the way, if anyone's thinking about a coaching program, [00:02:00] highly recommend number one for the people you meet, but also for what it does for yourself. Um, but she was a speaker at the event and within literally 30 seconds, I was like, I need to know her. I don't know who she is.

I don't know why I need to know her, but I do need to know her. Um, her speaking style is inspiring and authentic in person. She is war and charismatic and just wicked, wicked smart. Um, I've described her as bulent, uh, her liveliness and enthusiasm is f. And, uh, it was recently shared by someone else that she has a very healing energy.

And I think when you wrap all those things together, it makes just an incredibly unique and wonderful human, um, it makes her an awesome motivational speaker, an authentic connector, and just a savvy, successful business woman. So I've had the total honor of being in her circle. We're in a lovingly called support squad with some other women where we meet.

Every few weeks to just show up in community with each other. Um, and I've got to witness her own evolution and her approach to work. [00:03:00] Um, and I'm excited to dig in with you, Linda, so thank you for being with me. Well, Kristen, it is a pleasure to be here and I can't wait to have this conversation. And so much of what you just said was exactly how I felt when I met you is like, we need to get to know each other.

Speaker 5: So I'm, how are we gonna make this happen? Right, exactly. Exactly. Well, let's start with today. Um, why don't you just share a little bit about what you're currently creating? Well, yes, so I, um, started my own business a little over a year ago. Um, and it is and has been an evolution and part of what I'm creating right now as I'm really focused on how do I, um, niche down into a space where I can serve those people that just fill my cup.

What that looks like right now when I realize the people that gravitate towards me, um, the people who reach out, [00:04:00] uh, to me spontaneously, or it just seems like I'm energetically matched to them, is, uh, creating a either coaching or advising space for high achieving millennial, uh, gen X women who may be new in their executive, uh, career.

Or if their established executives are in a transition and trying to reground themselves on what's next, um, and getting unstuck and out of their own way. So that's a lot of where my focus is right now, and a lot of the conversations I'm having, I can see why those women are drawn to you. And I think it's so interesting that we both are.

Speaker 3: I'm curious about being in service in this space of either transition or pivot or evolution. And I, I imagine some of that has to do with we've walked through a lot of our own evolutions as leaders, as women, as career, you know, as ambitious career driven [00:05:00] women. So I think, you know, to, to notice that we both recognize that that is such a need for, for women that are kind of coming into these new leadership roles or if you're.

Managing a business for the first time. Um, 'cause it can be, it can be really lonely at times actually, when you're navigating that journey. Very lonely. And I think of, um, some of my own experience where when I first started out my career and some of the female leaders that I looked up to who, um, we're the only woman at the table or who had created that path, thinking, oh my gosh, I want that.

Speaker 5: And tried to be a part of what they were creating. The experience wasn't always, um, I wasn't always well received by those women, um, because it was almost like they had to fight so hard for that seat at the table that they didn't wanna open the door for any other females coming in. So it was a not always the best experience, and that's part of what inspires me now [00:06:00] is it doesn't need to be that way.

Yeah, no. As a matter of fact, for every landmine I may have stepped out, stepped in, or, and blown up in my own professional. Experiences. I would love to be in a position to help, um, other high achieving women, um, avoid those landlines, navigate them differently, think differently about how, um, how they're following up or moving forward or creating, uh, their careers.

Speaker 3: Yeah. I think I was sharing this, this with you earlier, that I've been somewhat surprised and taken aback by the amount of, um. Women that I've spoken with in the past, you know, kind of several months that have either shared that there's been some kind of dog fight around, you know, being in space with other women and trying to like jockey for a position or looking for a way to like, make space at the table and, and, or.

Being the only woman in the room in [00:07:00] a very like male dominated industry. And so yeah, I forward both of those kind of versions of the story and time and time again at this point. And so I think you're right, like being able to share that back and how you pull the kind of next generation of women up and through.

Um, so they have kind of that leader that is willing to just be by their side. Um, I never had. A mentor, like an actual mentor. You know, I've had wonderful humans in my life that have helped guide, but I've never had that like that person or a handful of people that really kind of acted as that sounding board in that way.

So I think that's really beautiful and really necessary. And what's interesting when you say that throughout my corporate career, I did not really have strong mentors, sponsors, um, that were consistent. What's interesting is when I launched my business a little over a year ago, there was a woman who had been part of my, uh, corporate career and who had gone out on her [00:08:00] own like a decade ago.

Speaker 5: Uh, but she reached out and was like, congratulations. So excited for you. I, I like anything I can do to help you. Um, where you wanna go? Let me know. And, and it was like, oh, it's wonderful. And, but there's so many people when you first launch that are like, Hey, good for you. Let's get out anything I can do.

Um, but what was interesting is literally two weeks later, she called back and she said, I know you have a lot going on. I know you're trying to navigate a lot of things, but I meant it when I said that I am here for you and want to support you and. That was, that was a pivotal moment in this journey. Yeah.

That's amazing. A lot of people give you lip service. Yeah. Or say they want to support, but it's only if it's convenient for them. Yeah. And she showed [00:09:00] up in a way. She didn't have to show up that way, and it wasn't necessarily convenient. And she has a very full plate, but she has made that time to help me think through, navigate, ask questions.

In different ways because of her experience. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I mean, massive shout out to your, to your pal. She's listening or she sees this because I think Yeah. That's incredible. And those are friends for life, people that show up in that way. Um, so that's amazing. You have had a really incredible for your journey.

Speaker 3: You're, you're kind of like touching on your corporate experience and I think, you know, you have had, um. Big B rules and some kind of major players on the corporate basis. Professional photography industry fired by Shutterfly. And you just mentioned a pivotal moment, and this is actually one of my questions for you and I, and I hear that in the mentorship piece, but are there any other kind of pivotal moments as you look at your journey that stick out as an inflection point or stick out as something that you know [00:10:00] kind of really shifted the way you were showing up or shifted the way you were thinking about your own career?

Speaker 5: Oh my gosh. Multiple moments. And kind of like chapters throughout that, that corporate career. Um, I think one of the first kind of just overarching pieces early on in my career was recognizing in hindsight, didn't recognize it at the time, but in hindsight, how much, um, I would internalize messages that were not healthy or did not serve me well.

Speaker 4: Hmm. Um, to the point, like when I first started my corporate career, I was in a management development program and with the intent to run like a little business within the larger corporate umbrella. Um, and what's interesting is the theme from that program was, you know, you're the first to arrive, the last to leave.

Speaker 3: [00:11:00] Yeah. Yeah. And whether it was healthy or not, it didn't matter. It was, that was the mantra. So you, you suddenly. The decisions you made were around, that's how you had to show up. Yeah. Which didn't serve you long term to be sustainable. It's not sustainable to, to not have that balance. Yeah. Um, and although when I think of how I built my career early on, it was pushing through, it was doing things that others said weren't, it wasn't possible or it was hard.

Speaker 5: I was not afraid of hard. That didn't scare me at all. Um, what I think one of the big moments though was realizing that when you push that hard and you start to get those signals from the universe, that you might need to take a break. You might need to like pause just a moment. Um, when you don't listen, the universe has a way of kind of thumping you on the head, [00:12:00] um, and forcing you to take a pause.

Mm-hmm. Um, and so one of those pivotal moments, I was, uh, traveling. We were rolling out an entire new program. I was traveling across the nation. Literally, I would fly out Sunday afternoon so I could be there and set up by 8:00 AM uh, Monday morning to work with the group I was working with. Uh, and then I had to make sure that all of the stuff that I was had created and we were rolling out.

Made it to the next location, so you'd have to pack it up, um, on Friday afternoon, which meant I never caught the Friday night flight. I flew home Saturday morning. Oh, wow. So I literally would have 24 hours at home, um, before I was heading to the next group. Wow. I did that for about a year. Okay. And, uh, and uh, what was crazy was I ended up having a medical event.

That required a mandatory seven [00:13:00] week leave of absence. Seven week. Wow. Seven weeks. Yeah. Um, and that was my first major pause where, um, I made major decisions. I was like, Nope, I'm gonna take care of my health. I didn't wanna be alone anymore. I might, I might wanna have a family, but I had no space or time that I allowed to take care of my health in the way that I needed to, or to even consider meeting someone.

And having the opportunity to have a family. And as a result of that, I started making those shifts. I made the time. I, like, I had the conversation where I'm like, I can't keep this travel up. Um, and here's what I proposed of how I could still meet the business needs and my own needs. And what was crazy was the reality of how much I had felt and put so much pressure on myself.

Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. That the minute I said that, they were like, well, of course. Yeah. And I was like, what? No. And [00:14:00] so the one of those pivotal moments was realizing that it doesn't have to be out of balance to be good, and that I needed to be the one to say what was my compass, what was my anchor, um, for how I would guide myself to have a balanced life to meet the needs of the business.

Speaker 5: And my own personal needs. Yeah. Yes. I mean, I feel like you were sharing this in a recent conversation, the power of the pause. And I think that that is, you know, exactly, sometimes it's a forced upon pause, right? Or it's a, a giant life event that forces you to kind of re-envision or rethink or shift. Um, one of our favorite authors that you and I share right now always talks about, but what if you didn't have to wait?

Speaker 3: For that. What if you didn't have to have life like flunk you on the head or you know, have the rug pulled out from under you? What if you could intentionally find space? [00:15:00] And I don't think that's how we are taught to operate. I think many times we are taught, right, we come from like the robust hessel culture era and all of that is in some ways wonderful, right?

The pendulum had to swing in such a way that allowed for those conversations even to be had. In some ways I think there was a bit of a toxicity around, well then, like, you better be that one to show up. You better be that one. That's always the one working your ass off and all of that stuff. Again, there's a balance, but I don't know that we were ever taught how to strike that balance from the beginning.

It was just push and go hard and don't stop bingo and, uh, the, the constant pushing and that, finding that balance, that, when you talk about that pause. As we were talking about earlier, that pause now, um, I look at it very differently, um, and still striving to figure that out because it's very easy for me to go all in a thousand percent and [00:16:00] not take into consideration those boundaries, those limits.

Speaker 5: Um, so I have to, I have to actually design my days where I find that space where I allow myself. The meditation, the, the internal conversation. Just that balance that I need. Yeah. Um, before I start, before you start your day, just in general, like every day, do you sit down and kind of look at it and see where your pockets are for you?

Speaker 3: Every, every day before I do anything else, I sit down and I have kind of a, a process where I, um, I have a, a devotional that really just talks to and speaks to. Kind of finding your center and and, and then also the gratitude. I, sometimes it's just a couple of minutes. Sometimes it's 10 minutes of what am I thankful for in the day?

Speaker 5: And the, when I think about the pause, [00:17:00] I try really hard to think of and see the things that I didn't see for the longest time. Yeah, for example. Um, I stand out on my deck and I can hear the birds. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Are you s This is literally, have I shared, this is like my actual morning ritual. It's to, no, no way.

Speaker 3: Are you serious? My morning ritual is to walk outside. My husband says, I go and talk to my bird friends. Like before I do anything else, I will step outside and actually just have that grounding moment. So, I mean, I knew we already were soul sisters, but this is like salts. So it, and it's usually the birds.

Speaker 5: But this morning what, it was funny as it was the bunnies, there were three little bunnies in my yard. But listen, whatever, like they're speaking to you and so like, and I just watched them dance and the freedom, like they were, they were, they were having a great time. And I was like, oh my gosh, the freedom.

Just the smell of the air. It was right after a rain. And I [00:18:00] never took time to do that. It was always just rushing right into the day, into the next meeting, into the next, you know, whatever. Yeah. Um, and usually, and you'll find this funny, um, I have recently changed my, uh, the way I organize my energy, my time.

It used to be I would make a to-do list that covered every line on the sheet of paper. So if there, there could be 42 todos. For that day. And that never served me well either. 'cause you never could feel like you finished it or got far enough, or you were never doing enough Nice. Um, of what you could be, should be doing.

Yeah. Um, and now I found a wonderful planner, um, by Danielle LaPorte. Okay. Um, and it is all, it, it like has four lines for each day. Oh. But it is very, um, centered around how do you want to feel? Ooh. And so. One of the pivot moments for me in this journey of, uh, being a [00:19:00] solopreneur has been how I think about goals and success very differently than I used to.

I was very much like, what was the next role? What was the next title? What was the bigger scope? What was it was all about the achievement and, and, um, getting to the next bigger thing. And now how she inverts that conversation is. How do you want to feel when you get there? Gosh, I love that because when I think about every time I was like, oh, what's the next?

What's the next, what's the next? Um, I believed that when I would arrive at the next, that I would feel a certain way. And it didn't often materialize in the way that I thought. Yeah, yeah. And that was always a surprise where I was like, yes. And then you get there and you're like, wait, this is, it. Feel different.

I thought it. Where are the balloons? Where's the trumpets like flag continue the, the rest of your life [00:20:00] still is your life like there? It doesn't, like the tentacles of that don't go far enough I think, right? When it's like there's accolades that we look for or you know, I think, I think it was gdo, a coach that we both worked with that the program that we were part of that did a post recently around like, how tied are you to your title or your.

Speaker 3: Achievements. And I think, um, gosh, that is a hard thing to look at. And I think that, you know, by going through the last process of my own evolution, like over the last few years, kind of like detoxing from that frankly is like really hard because, you know, we do and, and there's also nothing wrong with that ambition, right?

I think there's an interesting delicate balance here where it's like, I don't want folks to hear. What we're sharing here and think, well, I shouldn't have a drive for the thing or the goal. It's more to your point, how do you want to feel when you get there to make sure that you're aligned with the right goal or that you're aligned at least with the goal that is in service and you are whoever you want to be.

Versus just, it's a title that sounds really [00:21:00] good and um, you know, it's something that feels right for the resume. I think that can be a little distracting sometimes and that kind of, we need to pull 'em back into like, alright, is that actually in line before I wanna go? Yes, and, and that is exactly it, asking those questions because I think many times we aren't given the opportunity to ask the questions that it is in alignment.

Speaker 5: Yeah. Many times we're tapped on the shoulder and it's this great opportunity that why would you say no? Yeah. And many times you don't feel like you can see them. Right, right. Well, and it's like there's an interesting. Again, I, I always find the gray here 'cause I'm like, I also look at my own journey and think, gosh, that if I hadn't said yes to a lot of stuff, I wouldn't have landed where I did.

Speaker 3: I wouldn't. Right. Because I was always so interested in like, well, sure hell yeah, I'll take that on and absolutely I wanna try that. Right. And so I think it's like, how do you say yes in a way that allows for the journey to unfold versus Yes. And now I'm [00:22:00] like literally like this because I've said yes to way too many things and I can't hold it up anymore.

Speaker 5: I couldn't agree more that the leaning in, like there were many things that I leaned into in my career where, how, I always think it was kind of funny 'cause there was a theme where it was like, Glen, we have this great opportunity. Um, we have never done it before. Um, but we we're thinking we want to, and then fill in the blank with what the vision was or what we were creating.

And I said yes to every single one of those. Sure, I'll create something that has never existed. I'll figure that out. Do I get to build a team? Like I had lots of questions as we went. Um, the other thing that built my career, my corporate career, um, was things like, yeah, this has been a problem for a really long time.

We know it's a problem. We've tried to address it here or there, but still a problem. Here you go. Thanks so much. [00:23:00] I always had a lot of either never been done before or, gosh, this has been a problem for a really long time and we need to fix it, and now is the time and here you go. Yeah. Um, and so that was actually how I did build my career, was doing things that hadn't been done or Yeah.

You know, that's how you were given opportunities, um, to make a difference. Yes. And I relished those opportunities because what I have realized through the whole journey. Is I wanted to have an impact. And so when we talked about that alignment of when you say Yes, when you lean in is I've always looked at who was I helping?

Who was I serving, what was I making better? Um, how did it evolve so that the people after me would be set up for success? Where. I didn't always feel set up for success. Right, right. Yes. I think that, I mean, that [00:24:00] just speaks to how much of the kind of service oriented heart you have, and I think that's just a beautiful kind of transition into what you're doing now, which is how are I in service and how do I make my, someone share this with me recently, like it was, um, I was asking her about legacy and she said to me, it's not about legacy, it's.

Speaker 3: How do I make my corner of the world just a little bit better by being in service in the best way that I can be? So as you're focused on building out your own practice, and you know, I think a lot about this for myself, like what is, what is pushing you forward right now to keep going? Because I think a lot of times when we land in these spaces, we're building something on our own, or even in partnership or small business owners, there's a lot of kind of moments of hedging around like.

Am I doing the right thing? I think I'm doing the right thing. This feels right, but like where, where is that drive coming for, for you? So for me, um, it's really, [00:25:00] it goes back to the impact and how I think about it is I feel like it starts with ripples. That by doing things that are in service, um, and supporting.

Speaker 5: Women, those high achieving women to do things differently. Knowing that the conversations that I create, the questions that I ask, how I guide that, that starts a ripple of impact that those leaders will have on their teams, their organization, their community, their families. So I always believe that it starts as a ripple, is how a legacy is started.

And what I visualize as I've started this journey is that ultimately that ripple. Starts to extend beyond and it ends up building where there will be some pivotal moments that I, I haven't even created yet, but I know will be coming. Um, and changes the way, uh, the very landscape of [00:26:00] how we approach conversations.

Ways of working. Ways of being, um, that are empowering women. Yeah. That are putting them in a spot where they work together in a way that just changes. Organizations, communities, and ultimately the world. Oh my gosh, I love that so much. I think that, I mean, talk about a different place to be coming from as you ask about drive, right?

Speaker 3: Like literally probably two and a half years ago, maybe three years ago, I was at dinner with two dear friends of mine and two very like successful, you know, high, highly driven, ambitious women, and we were sitting around the table asking each other like that question. What pushes you? What is driving you to continue to work this hard to show up in this way?

And I didn't have an answer and that was like kind of a wild moment where I was like, Ugh, like that. Maybe it's something to think about. Peace, you know? So, and that's why I'm interested in that question now. 'cause I do think [00:27:00] as folks are building these kind of more intentional pathways for themselves, your drive shows up a little differently than.

What's external? It's like, I think Mill Robbins, I think has just had an episode about this, like a gentleman who was talking about mindset work, but how you're doing the internal work versus the external work and how do you get your internal stuff right versus externally driven stuff. Right. And the more we're constantly driven by the getting the next thing or getting the next title or getting X amount of, you know, salary, whatever, those drivers don't ever typically allow for the resilience that the internal drivers do.

You just nailed my last year that what if you had asked me that question before I went on my own and built was building my own business, um, I would've given you a very generic, stale, um, corporate speak type of answer that sounded blah. Yeah. And it [00:28:00] wasn't, it, it's been through this journey of asking. Um, those questions and getting my own inner work, that spiritual side.

Speaker 5: Um, because I, I didn't allow all parts of me to show up in my corporate career. No. Well, we couldn't, right? I mean, that was just not, that was not the thing. No. But Pittsburgh was not, that was not the vibe. And, and that, that has been one of the most freeing aspects as, as difficult as it is to be in isolation as you build when you're a solopreneur.

Um. The inner work that you go through, and if you lean into that inner work, um, things become really, really clear and it doesn't have to be hard. Yeah. Yes. I think that's so real. And I think because a lot of times, especially as women, we tend to show up in the way we think is gonna be. Best in that moment as we take on the kind of like elements or the traits or the characteristics that that fit for that [00:29:00] thing, not necessarily that fit for who we are.

Speaker 3: Do you think that we've like over complicated it for ourselves a little bit where it's like it's there, like how we disconnected from it so much that it feels like we have to do this incredible work to come back to it, you know? I would say in this journey and the reading that I've done, the work that I've done, realizing that specifically as young girls and as women, if you look at the work by Tara Moore, uh, she talks about how we're conditioned, you know, in school, why is it that girls excel in school more than boys, elementary, middle, high school?

Speaker 5: It has to do with we become who that teacher in that classroom wants so that we can excel, we can get the A and yay we get the A. And that is success we're achieving. But then when you go out into that, and that [00:30:00] continues through college. Yeah. And then after college or a university, you end up stepping into a work world where now the rules change.

Speaker 4: Right. All the things that made you successful and yay, I got the a I am, I'm achieving. Um. Now don't serve you. And what you just said about showing up as the person that you think you have to be or become to keep the peace, to make sure that you don't ruffle feathers. That like, that you, that everything gets done in the way it needs to get done.

Speaker 5: Um, the language that women use often make it so they can't be heard or it diminishes their voice. And that's part of why I get so passionate about working with those high achieving. Millennial and Gen X women who had so many of those messages. Yeah. Is sometimes it's those little shifts in awareness of what it is that keeps you playing small.

Yeah. That like allowing yourself to be you and authentically [00:31:00] you. Um, so you can be heard and seen. Yeah. Because many times we get stuck and we can't figure that part out, and then we just try to do the thing even harder and more. Yes. Yes. Well, 'cause it's like, yeah, I think that we a lot of times have grown so disconnected from, it's like, you don't need to throw the baby out in the bath water.

Speaker 3: Right? Like, it's not like, oh, like well forget it. Like I'm shedding this total layer of skin, forget, it never serves me. You know? No ever. We've had good success for good reason. There are elements of those things that did serve us, or that did, you know, are a big part of who we are. I think the trick is.

Then how do you double down on the things that are in service of where you wanna go and how do you start to slowly release the things that maybe aren't a part of your story anymore that aren't bad? It's not that you're trying to say like, I am no longer, you know, this person and all of these things were terrible.

No, they were up for them. The story and the journey, but they might not need to be put in the luggage to, [00:32:00] well, on the next export of the truck. You know? That's right. That's and, and being able to navigate that to figure out what are those things. That are you wanna take with you versus it's okay to sit down.

Yeah. Yeah. That doesn't have to be how you define yourself anymore. Right? Right. I think our, our dear friend, Joe Delow, would agree with us on that one.

Um, speaking of books, one of my favorite things about our conversations is always like, oh, I'm reading this. Well, you're reading that. What are you reading? What are you reading? What are you reading? Because there's always something, you're always, you always have a resource to share. I can't tell you how many things I have.

Picked up because of something that you've said, oh, I got this little tidbit from over here. Or You gotta listen, you gotta go to this webinar. Um, and you recently shared there was a handful of books that were kind of part of your most recent pause that have really helped you, um, think about the way you're showing up in this moment.

And I wonder if there's like one or two that you would highlight at the moment. [00:33:00] Absolutely. Um. I'm trying to, like, which one do I pick? There's too many, maybe one or two. Absolutely. So I think the, the first one that really kind of made me think differently about my individual journey as a solopreneur was a book, um, by Dr.

Speaker 5: Benjamin Hardy, becoming Your Future Self. Now, because he walks through the seven myths of your future self, the seven truths of your future self, the seven things that you can take action on right now under the premise that. You will become a future version of yourself. That's inevitable no matter what, no matter whether logging or not.

Yeah. And yet how you think about and actually navigate becoming your future self and visualize it. And he does an exercise in that book that really made, like flipped it for me, which was. Basically visualizing yourself becoming everything that you could ever [00:34:00] imagine. Having everything, who's surrounding you, the conversations you're having now, the impact you're having.

And my vision was so clear. It was like, oh my gosh, this is like the impact I can have. This is like, yay. And then the next part of it, he's like, and what are you doing? How are you spending your time? Are your decisions right now reflective of that future self? And I sat there and I went, I, if I'm gonna get that future self the way I'm going right now, like I probably scroll too much.

I feel, you know, all the things of like, how would someone who's gonna be that per become that person spend their time, their energy right now? And it really made me rethink. Mm-hmm. So that was probably one of the most critical ones. And then. The next book that really, that I would recommend, especially for people who are solopreneurs, trying to do what I'm doing right now, [00:35:00] which is define your, your niche and you know, go more narrow, which is counterintuitive.

Speaker 3: Nice. Um, I happen to do a workshop with a group of women who are all solopreneurs in marketing, communications, pr. And, and it was on the topic of sales and how to build some of their sales conversations, because that's my background. And, um, they were like, wow, this is amazing. Where were you 10 years ago?

Speaker 5: Oh, this is great. And one of them was like, oh my gosh, you've been so generous with all of these ideas and ways to navigate. What can we do for you? And I said, well, gosh, I'm trying to like narrow my focus so I could be, have more of an impact Yeah. Than trying to figure out what my niche is. And, um, and she reaches back and she's like, you need to read this.

And the book was The Authority Code by Rochelle Moulton. And what I, what I love about that book is there are [00:36:00] many concepts that I have heard in a lot of variety of spaces and places, but it seems like she brought them all together and in such a logical way to go deep and answer those tough questions.

And then be able to like how to actually functionally create that in your business. And she has a wonderful workbook that goes through it so you can actually write it. Because whenever you create something, it has to be a thought and until, um, you actually create the thing and writing as a form of creation.

And so I know that many people type it out, but I went old school and I Yeah, wrote it out. So that I could anchor in to what I'm creating and how I am thinking through, um, a more narrow focus. I love that. Yes. I love that. And I like that we are sharing it too, because I think sometimes there's a mess that have been building businesses and, you know, are service based and, and are thinking about we are serving, you know, I recently honed in [00:37:00] and it could feel a little bit like you're almost starting over.

Speaker 3: Like, had to really retell myself like, no, no, no, no. I'm still doing. The work, I'm still doing what I'm great at. I'm still bringing the pieces of me forward that I think are how to be in best service, but it's just who is it that I'm serving in a way that's gonna be the most impactful? And I think that the way you're talking about it is important.

Because as that evolves, I think sometimes folks get a little tripped up on like, oh wait, like, well now I gotta like redo my whole thing, or I gotta, blah. You're just getting a little clearer about, you know, or like just a little more focused and honed in. And that doesn't mean that you're not. Still providing the same kind of like incredible service that you've always provided.

It's just in a little bit of a different package potentially. And it's, it's even just the subtle shifts of how you describe who you work with. Yeah. Um, and, and so much of that work, [00:38:00] you know, for any, anybody who is starting their own business, people want to help you. Yeah. They, yes. And so it's in that process of getting that clarity of, and that specificity.

Speaker 5: Of who you can impact. Um, that helps everybody who wants to see you successful know who to send your way. Absolutely. Uh, and so, and that's, that's part of the journey too, is figuring that out. I think so too, that I think that was actually for me, one of the hardest parts of the journey, but the most necessary was being out there unapologetically, like, I'm trying this and here's how I'm talking about it.

Speaker 3: And having thoughtful people. Say, well, what do you mean by that? And help me understand a little bit more. Because it was in those follow-up questions that I was like, oh, oh, the language I'm using is not resonating. Or what I'm saying is not totally clear because frankly, it wasn't clear to myself back then, right?

Like I was like, oh, I'm still kind of like rumbling through this a little bit and trying to kind of like push out some of [00:39:00] the fog around what I was trying to build towards that. You have, but you have to be out there doing it. Otherwise you don't get those conversations. You have to be willing to like fumble a little bit, I think in order to actually get to the, to the real clarity.

Absolutely. Yeah. Which is not comfortable, but that's okay. That's, that's all. That's none of all, listen, I belong to anybody. But like there is something about when you are used to being able to be in communication with people and like to build authentic connection. When you're like, Ooh, like I'm not totally showing up fully as myself right now.

And that listen to that is what I always say. Like if you feel that, like when you feel that in your body, pay attention because it's telling you something. And you know when you feel aligned and you feel like you are kind of like stepping more into where you're supposed to be, your body literally feels different.

But that's also, I think, you know, part of the process a little bit is kind of [00:40:00] navigating your way through that. I had a very similar experience early on trying to be or become what I thought that they needed or wanted versus articulating what I bring. Yeah. In the way that I bring it. Totally. Yes. And that was a big part of my early journey, feeling like I had to once again become what they needed versus where I'm at now is.

Speaker 5: Here's what I bring to the party. Here's how I operate. Yeah. Here's how I ask questions. It's gonna feel uncomfortable because I'm gonna ask questions you may not wanna answer, or you may not wanna look at. And then it's okay, because that's natural too. And we're gonna figure that out. Yeah. And you have, you have someone in your corner who's gonna help you do that.

I love that. I love it. Um, okay, on a last note, uh, outside of two last questions, one is. Biggest takeaway for you as you're thinking about some of the women that you are thinking about serving, right? Like how [00:41:00] folks that are navigating their own kind of leadership slash career journey slash personal evolution.

Speaker 3: Is there one kind of thought that you would wanna leave around, something that you'd wanna share for, for women that are kind of in this moment of either pipi or evolution or shifting into maybe what's next? You know the thing that I have experienced and I have. Both for myself and for those women that I have had the tremendous honor of serving through their journey.

Speaker 5: There's a few things that are critical. One is finding that match of the person that you engage in those conversations because you need to know that you have synergy and a trust that, um. Feel safe when you are sharing those vulnerable moments with this other person that is helping you navigate it. So I think that that, that relationship and testing the [00:42:00] waters for the people that you are considering in that journey, that's important because that connection will allow the experience, um, and the your ability to do more, become more, kind of realize more about yourself in that journey.

That connection is important. The second thing that, that I have experienced is I have experienced women who say that they want it, um, but are in that space. They're not ready yet. They want what exactly, what are they, what do you think, what are they saying? That they, they want to become more, be more, and yet in the, in the heart of the conversation.

Um, and it could be ego-driven. Um, but they're not ready to either a answer the questions authentically and be true with themselves. Um, or they feel like they need to know it [00:43:00] all already. Yes. Yeah. So when you ask the question, they wanna demonstrate and prove that they already know. Yeah. Versus going deep and realizing that's not the point.

It's not about knowing, it's about discovering. It's about. Kind of like really seeing things almost fresh that are all inside you for the first time. Oh my gosh, I love that. I think the strongest leaders I've ever come across or had the pleasure to work with are the ones that say, I don't know about that.

Speaker 3: Let me find out. Or, how do I understand this better? I might not ever understand this, so let me put the right person in the right position that will know that thing. Right? Like the, the power of like, yes. What it means to have that humility and not feel like you need to have the answer for every single thing.

And I've worked with the others where it's like, nope, they've got the answer. They don't want to hear the opinion. And it, I can tell you, and it does not ever end well. Right Kelly. And it's harder, more complicated and messier [00:44:00] than it ever needed to be. Yeah, I know. I know. But I do think, right. I think women, I think women of color in particular, we are.

We do feel like there's a bigger spotlight on performance and you better show and you better know what the hell you're doing, right? And so I, I have so much grace and empathy for that. It is not easy to be put into these leadership positions and you know, so there is the tendency I think to say like, I, I don't have room to muck this up, but I do think to your point, it is tapping into where are the moments where I can vulnerably say.

This is not exactly where I know you know everything. And I could use a little bit of support versus like also remembering where you do know things and showing up there. Right, right. And sometimes when you're in those positions, you forget how much you do know. Yes, a hundred percent yes. And you forget to listen to that intuition.

Yeah, my friend. Last question is, if someone wants to find you and your incredible services and what you're bringing into the [00:45:00] world, what's the best place for us to point them to? You can certainly go to my LinkedIn, Glenda WA Street, and that's usually one of the, the ways most people reach out to me, um, or my email.

Speaker 5: I'm happy to share that too. glenda@wattreeventures.com. I definitely get messages from referrals and people who are looking for and seeking to have a conversation to see what, what's possible for their journey. I appreciate you so very much and I'm so grateful to be in your ecosystem and so thankful always to have you and my support squad.

Speaker 3: So just so much love and appreciation for you. Oh, the feeling is the same. Kristen, thank you so much. I so enjoyed this conversation.

Speaker 2: Thank you so much for listening and spending some of your time with me here. I hope our conversation sparked some new ideas for you. If you enjoyed the episode, please make sure to hit subscribe so you don't miss what's next. And if you're ready for even more tools and stories, head on over to belden [00:46:00] strategies.com.

I share fresh insights, stories, and tools every week. Until next time, keep building, keep evolving. And remember you. Are kind of a big deal.