Stop Waiting Until You Feel Ready

Join me as I sit down with strategic consultant Kyla Bryant, whose work centers on leadership, workforce development, and helping organizations build people-first systems.

Kyla’s leadership philosophy started on prom day at a cosmetology school when she raised her hand to organize a chaotic situation she hadn’t been trained for. That moment became the foundation for a mindset she still carries today: it’s easier to steer a moving ship. 

Over the course of her career, Kyla has worked across multiple sectors, from education and workforce development to consulting and entrepreneurship. Along the way, she’s learned that leadership rarely comes from feeling fully prepared - it comes from stepping forward when something needs to be done.

We talk about entrepreneurship, perfectionism, the pressure many women carry to have everything figured out, and how success can evolve from external markers to something much deeper: feeling grounded in who you are and the work you’re building.

You’ll Learn:

⭐ Why leadership often begins before you feel ready
⭐ How momentum can create clarity when the path feels uncertain
⭐ Why reflection is critical for entrepreneurs and leaders
⭐ The difference between hustle and sustainable flow
⭐ How defining success evolves over the course of a career

Key Insights

Momentum Creates Clarity
Waiting until you feel fully prepared often keeps you stuck. Taking action - even imperfect action - allows you to adjust course as you move forward.

Reflection Builds Perspective
Regular reflection helps leaders recognize progress, learn from patterns, and avoid constantly chasing the next milestone.

Entrepreneurship Requires Internal Leadership
When you work for yourself, you must become both the strategist and the accountability partner.

Flow vs Hustle
Sustainable success comes from working in alignment with your natural rhythms and priorities - not constant pressure or overwork.

Success Evolves Over Time
Early in our careers, success often looks like titles or income. Over time, many leaders redefine success as feeling grounded, aligned, and purposeful in their work.

Timestamps

[00:00:00] – Introduction to Kyla Bryant
[00:03:00] – Early leadership instincts and growing up the oldest sibling
[00:04:30] – Starting out in cosmetology and discovering leadership
[00:06:00] – Seeing opportunity before feeling ready
[00:08:00] – Early career uncertainty and the pressure to have answers
[00:10:00] – Perfectionism, parenthood, and learning to let go of control
[00:15:00] – The path to entrepreneurship
[00:18:00] – Strategic guidance rooted in empathy
[00:22:00] – Workforce systems and people-first leadership
[00:24:00] – Building structure and reflection as a solopreneur
[00:29:00] – The reality of working for yourself
[00:32:00] – Hustle culture vs sustainable flow
[00:37:00] – Redefining success over time
[00:43:00] – What legacy means for Kyla

Resources and Links

Connect with Kyla Bryant and check out her work at https://kylabryantllc.com/

Find host Kristin Belden on LinkedIn or at BeldenStrategies.com

Sign up for more conversations and insights at
 BeldenStrategies.com/newsletter

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, follow the show, and leave a review.

And if you're interested in more conversations about leadership, identity, and building meaningful work, join my newsletter at BeldenStrategies.com/newsletter

Transcript

Speaker 2: [00:00:00] Hi everybody, and welcome back to kind of a big deal. What does it look like when you stop trying to have all the answers figured out and just get moving. Today's conversation is with Kyla Bryant, a strategic consultant whose career path started in an unexpected place, a cosmetology school on prom day.

When she saw chaos and an opportunity to organize it, she raised her hand, not because she felt prepared. But because she saw what needed to get done, that moment became the foundation for a leadership philosophy built on something her mom always shared with her. It's easier to steer a moving ship. We unpack entrepreneurship, the tension between hustle culture and sustainable momentum, and how success can feel less about external markers and more about being grounded and settled in who you are.

This is Kyla's story, and I think you're gonna love it.

Speaker 3: Hi Kyla. Hi Kristens. Good to see you. The same. So good to see you. [00:01:00] Um, happy Friday. Oh, happy Friday. I don't actually usually do these conversations on a Friday and I was like, this is the way 'cause I feel like I'm going into my weekend. So excited to, to be here in conversation. Thank you for joining me.

Speaker 4: Absolutely. Thank you for having me. I'm excited. So Kyla and I met, I was trying to remember the timeline and it doesn't really matter, but it was not that long ago, but it was also long enough ago. It was through a National Association of Women Business Owners conference or a networking event or some get together.

Yes. And she stood up and talked, you know, introduced herself and I immediately was like, hi, I'm Kristen and we need to be friends. We had a kind of similar, um. I guess I would say parallel way of talking about our work and, and the work that she was focused on at the time and soon after we got coffee.

Speaker 3: And that led to a few more coffees and that led to Kyla sharing some great wisdom with me in one of my all-time favorite [00:02:00] hacks. For when you're building something solo that we'll share later with the folks that are listening. She is just a kind spirit, quick to laugh, shares openly. Um, every single woman I chat with is wicked smart, so that just isn't obvious.

I think. I don't need to say that part, but I will. Anyways. I just recently, I looked at your LinkedIn again and I saw that your headline is now strategic guidance. Powered by empathy and I thought, oh, that couldn't be more perfect. I feel like that is what a beautiful way of talking about the work that you do.

So I can't wait to hear about what you're focused on now. Um, some things have shifted since we first met for both of us actually, but let's start maybe a little further back before we get to the today. Maybe just give us a little bit of a brief summary of kind of what your career journey has looked like.

Where did you start and what has been kind of your focus as you've evolved into the state that you're in now? [00:03:00] Absolutely. Uh oh. Go way back in the recesses of this is one of my former, one of my former peers would say, tell me your life story just to give it all. No, I, I love that. I love that because I'm a big proponent of looking back and reflecting.

Speaker 4: I think we learn a lot from going backwards and taking a pause and thinking through those things, and then it obviously propels us forward. So for me, looking back, I go, oh. You know the leadership. Part of me has always been there. I'm the oldest four kids. Mm-hmm. Three younger brothers. And so I was always running the show.

So just naturally in my family, I was the leader. Uh, you know, being the only female. You just kind of take that up. Listen, the curse, the curse of the oldest sister that is also me, two, two younger brothers. And so it'll always be yes. See, this is why we were kindred spirits, because we both recognized that from an early age.

Uh, and then from there, [00:04:00] I, you know, to be honest, I was a little lost at what I was gonna do. What was I gonna be when I grew up? I think because I'm an oldest, because I'm very driven, that was overwhelming to go, oh, I don't, I don't know. I don't see the whole future in front of me. Because of that, that gave me pause.

I started out my career journey, believe it or not, in cosmetology. I, oh wait, I do remember you sharing that with me. Yes, yes. So I went through the cosmetology program, received a license. I still hold a license, and in that process I recognize that I don't think I wanna do salon work forever or. Be in what I thought I was, my dream was to do hair for the stars.

Right. That was kind of my fun goal. I always wanted to do something kind of in that entertainment space. I used to sing, I used to dance, do that stuff as a kid. But then when I was ending my time with the school, uh, there came a point in my schooling where we had this [00:05:00] random day, it was prom and there was no receptionist at the school.

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. And I was not, my forte was not updos. I was more of a hair colorist, haircuts. That was my jam. Not doing all the bobby pins and all that was just not my forte. And here come this whole group of high school students who neither their updos and there was some admin work that had to be done to get them registered in the system and assigned to the different student stylists and all of that.

Speaker 4: And I raised my hand and said, oh, you know what? I can do that. I saw an opportunity that I could, this is not my skillset and I don't wanna mess any girl's hair up for not on prom. Not on prom. No, no, I don't wanna do that. So what if I organized this because that was a secret skill that I always was really good at organizing this, so I, I helped match up the students.

To the stylists and, uh, went through all that process. Wound up working at that school after my time being a student was up, and it was just [00:06:00] a natural progression for me to learn how to be a leader when I wasn't feeling prepared. To be a leader. Mm. And that is kind of the kickoff to the career journey I've had.

I like to say I've worked in all different sectors, and it's very true. I've done private, I've done public, I've worked in small businesses. I have now working for myself, my own company, uh, every opportunity. It's kind of been because I have been able to take that risk and say, you know what? I don't feel very prepared, but I'm gonna do it because I see that this needs to be filled.

I'm very much in the strategy space. Mm-hmm. That's why you see that as, as my, it's not just my tagline, that's just how I lead. That's how I think about things, not just from a. Real tactical perspective, but also from the lens of how are people being cared for? Yes. Oh my gosh. Um, I'm, I think I'm smi, I'm like trying so hard not to smile too big.

Speaker 3: 'cause I'm like, [00:07:00] yes, yes. All of this. I a hundred percent. You know, one of the women that I spoke with recently. I've been raising this a lot in, in recent conversations because she is early grad, right? So she just graduated from from school a couple of years ago from college, and in our conversation she was saying that holding the tension between impossibility and possibility in this moment where it's like everything is a possibility and yet.

Also some of like that overwhelm and the like, where do I fit in this world kind of moment. And I think it's hard at times to share that wisdom backwards, which is, it's gonna be fine. You're gonna find your way, you're gonna find your path, and it might take you some zigs and zags. Um, maybe not even as Zig and as Z it's just that sometimes we think of things in these linear fashions, but ultimately everything is stacking to wherever you're headed.

So it's interesting for me to hear you say that there was kind of that moment too, but you, you quickly saw how [00:08:00] some of your secret skills could be applied. And I wonder, do you think you were aware of that? At the time? Or is this kind of like in hindsight you can see it that way? No, I wasn't fully aware of it at the time.

Speaker 4: My mother probably would say, you can do anything. Yeah. My biggest champion, you know, I come from a long line with very strong women. Yes. So she probably would say that. But for myself, I was just, you know, I was young, I was insecure. I was always younger in my class, so I think that. There were challenges that I was going, ah, I don't feel like I'm really ready, or I don't know that I have these strengths.

I think I used to struggle with that question when people would ask, what's your talent and what's your skill? Mm-hmm. And I would always kind of stumble because I felt like, well, I can do different things, but I didn't see them as for what they were until later on in life and now, yeah. Feels much more, but I think that just takes time.

Speaker 3: I do too. That's just part of part of it. But unfortunately when you're younger you feel like, oh, I have [00:09:00] to have the perfect answer. Or at least I shouldn't say not maybe not everybody and answer, but it's, I felt like I have to have the perfect answer. Yes. And slowly over time, I started to learn that.

Speaker 4: It's easier to start somewhere and then you can adapt. My mom, here she comes again. I'll probably mention her a lot. Uh, she would say, love it. It's easier to steer a moving ship. And that analogy is just. You know, really carried me. It's going okay. You can either just sit here and it's gonna be a lot harder to start or just start.

Mm-hmm. And find it. I've seen that kind of phrasing as well as, you know, it's make it exist and then make it better Type of Yes. Mindset. Yes. The action begets action. Right. Like it's, and I think especially as we're out on our own now. That lesson is like all the way important. Right? It's absolute. If there's no one telling you what to do and when to do it and how to do it, yes.

Speaker 3: It's like, well, you better just do it. Yes, yes. Which, for a recovering perfectionist, and I don't know if you've had to [00:10:00] navigate perfectionism over the years as a firstborn, in some ways it's a, it's a blessing and a curse. 'cause I think in some ways it makes us. Strive for excellence and be great at what we do.

And at other times it can be this full weighted burden of, well, I, if I can't do it perfect, then I'm not gonna do it at all. Or if I don't have everything lined up perfectly, then I can't do it at all. And I think. I too, over the years, have had the genuine, um, experience and really like opportunity to be kind of thrown into the deep end at times where it's like, well, you better figure it out.

And at the time I would've told you I hated that. I was real mad, like, why would you do this? Why would you throw me in when I don't know what I'm doing? But ultimately it did me a huge service because I had to get over the perfection. I had to get over that, over those ears, but still working on it, not there all the way.

But getting there, and I would say, because I know this about you, I'm wondering also if motherhood or parenthood just in general helps with some [00:11:00] of that, because I know for me. Nothing humbles you more than a 4-year-old and what their needs are and what their wants are and, and as they're coming into the world and you don't have the control over that sniffle turning into a full blown cold and changing your schedule and your day and all those things.

Speaker 4: I think that that definitely were other things along the way and my faith is a part of that, but I think. Becoming a parent shifted a little bit of how I saw being perfect and making sure things were always in their order and realizing I had to prioritize. 'cause there's another being here that can't do all of these things, and I think that just puts it in a different perspective.

I don't think you have to have a child to get that perspective, but that's helped me get that perspective a hundred percent. I feel like. I fought against that, if I'm honest. Like it took me a minute. And there's still moments, right? Yes. Where I feel like I'm like, okay, I've got this week, I know exactly what I'm doing.

Speaker 3: And then you're like, wait a second. I forgot. It's the start of the [00:12:00] school year. I didn't forget. Mm-hmm. But I forget what that means as a household where you're like, oh, our lives are a hundred percent. There's been something at the school every single night this week there's been. Sports. There's been, you know, whatever.

My husband was in an accident a couple weeks ago. Everything's fine, but it again, there's like these things that just pull you out of whatever thing you think you're gonna be doing. And I am getting better at leaning into that instead of fighting against it. That expression of like, don't hold onto the twigs and the branches in the river as you're flowing down.

You just have to let go and let the river take you. And that is really, really hard in theory. It's like, well, yeah, sure, just let the river take you. I'm like, oh, where's it going? Is it gonna go over the cliff? Like, am I gonna wind up in the where this is going before it takes me? I need to know where the destination is.

Yes. Enough things. Am I wearing the right clothes? Yeah, it's right. Is there a life mask? Like what's happening over here? Yes, I just had this [00:13:00] experience recently over the summer, and I'm so curious for you, and I'm gonna ask this question for you, but a big part of my reasoning behind building my own practice now has been so that I can create my own future so that I can create my own schedule so I have autonomy so I can be with my family in the ways that I want to be with them, et cetera, et cetera.

But over the summer. We had a really shortened summer schedule this year. It was two months back to back, and so it felt really fast and furious. The kids will go to camp, but then the camp gets out at noon or two or whatever, and I had a few weeks, maybe the whole first month. Where I was like, well, no, but I have all these things I wanna do.

And so when I would, I felt almost resentful on some days where I'm like, Ugh, I have to go pick them up at a certain time. And I had to really tell myself like, hold up, get over yourself. The whole point of this was so that you could be with your kids and you could be present, and you could be doing the things.

And so I have found that the lesson for me most recently has [00:14:00] been. Not in being great at it yet, but at least being aware of it. I'm now in a phase in my life where I'm like, okay, I can see this for what it is now, and now I can work on that differently than before where I would've just fought against it the entire summer.

You know, I think you hit on something important too, of when you see it in the. Box that it's in. This is just for this summer. Mm-hmm. We know that things are gonna change. It's gonna change again. It's fall. Well, we know it's gonna change again towards the end of the year. So I think keeping that mindset of that this too shall pass sort of mindset.

Speaker 4: Yeah. Just 'cause it's like this right now doesn't mean that that's gonna be like that later. And if I can hold on during this time, I know it's gonna be different. Yes. At this point. And yes, living in the present of what is, is a constant evolution I feel like of Yes. That harmony of trying to figure out how all of these major components in your life work.

Speaker 3: Yeah. Hopefully in service of each other for the most part. Obviously, not always. Um, so [00:15:00] yeah, tell me about what drove you to entrepreneurship and um, also part one is what brought you here? Yeah. What made you wanna jump out and do your own thing, and then maybe tell us a little bit about what you're focused on.

Speaker 4: Absolutely. So I, I think just like the other things I talked about, there was just opportunity and freedom to go, you know what, let me step back and look at my life and look at where things are going and what I really wanna be involved in and doing for my career. I really. Have had that entrepreneurial brain since birth.

My dad's been an entrepreneur and I got to witness him and how he worked with his own company. Sometimes full-time, sometimes part of the time, just depending on what was going on in our lives. Growing up, I didn't expect that I would start my own company, but I had sort of dabbled in that mindset for a while.

So cosmetology, that's. Small solopreneur businesses could be much larger. But that's part [00:16:00] of that. I went to school for a few different things that all added up to where I am now. I had an associate's in medical office 'cause I thought, oh, maybe I'll work in the medical field. I wasn't gonna be a doctor, but something adjacent.

'cause that was always interesting to me. But again, that pulled that strategic mindset from me. My undergrad is psychology. It's where that sort of empathy, holistic approach comes from. And if I had kept going there again, entrepreneurship, that could have turned to my own practice, that type of thing.

Mm-hmm. And then most recently completed a master's in organizational learning and effectiveness. And at the time, that helped me propel my career to more of an upper director managerial roles. And that started to get me thinking of, I'm kind of running my own departments, my own initiatives, and. Maybe there's a point.

I dabbled very briefly in some fashion stuff didn't really go anywhere at the time. I think it was just a little too ahead of the curve, but that was [00:17:00] definitely something that was my first sort of bigger step into owning my own business. And the timing right now, just. It all fit together to go, you know what?

I'm involved in a lot of things and I am being asked for my knowledge and my strategies and being asked to kind of consult and guide. That's why I use the guidance in my motto there because that's what I've been doing my whole life and this just all lined up. I have a great supportive partner who, my husband, who was like, yeah, I said, I think I wanna start this.

He goes.

Yeah, but okay. He's very risk adverse and he's like, well, I think it does make sense, but he's always. Amazingly supportive of me. Amazing. And I started to model it out because again, here comes that older daughter, perfection. I had a whole business plan. I, I created a whole slide deck for my husband about how yes, I'm gonna start this business.

And [00:18:00] all I did was say, I think I'm gonna need to start the business. And he goes, yes. Like I created a whole. You know, 12 page deck because I know he's very analytical and I appreciate that about him. We pair very well together. Um, 'cause he pulls me in when I need to be pulled in and I push him when he needs little push, but he was like, yeah, just go for it.

Okay. You what? You don't wanna see this beautiful presentation I made for you? Yeah, it was already, I had already formed the plan. So what I mostly do and what I look to do is. Work with people on workforce issues. There's stuff that I'm doing right now that's really about workforce system initiatives, which is great.

My heart is really in the workforce, people. It's all people. We say these big terms, workforce development, leadership development, small business development, all things that I have done throughout my career, and it comes down to the people and how we engage and how we interact. And anytime I can find opportunities to [00:19:00] work with both.

Entrepreneurs, the people that they eventually hire, those challenges that they face when you have multiple generations in a workplace or needing that flexibility that's looked different than it has maybe in years past. I really get excited about that. And so that's really where my focus is, is really that guidance, but rooting it in empathy so it's not just.

General strategies and business plans, but really putting people at the heart of it. Mm. I love that. So are you, are you focused mostly or is it Yes. And with working with individuals directly or is it more or focused where you're working with like leadership on what their systems look like internally?

It's a yes and yeah, so yeah. Yeah, it's a yes. And I kind of evaluate where can I. Help and where can I be successful here? And that might be with an organization that needs some strategic thought, some evaluation [00:20:00] needs, that type of support. Or it could be with that person who's just starting out and going, I need some help just clearing my brain.

Because you don't have that coworker. The same always. And maybe you're the only leader. Maybe you do have staff, but you are really the main, you're the founder, CEO, and they're. Doing the thing and you're trying to figure out how to keep things going, keep it moving, and figure out how to really structure your.

Future focus. Yeah. I like doing that with people. I love there's, when we were speaking earlier, your kind of way it is about the whole human and this holistic approach to thinking about workforce and what it means for soft skills and all these other things, but also your recognition that we've kind of entered this new, we continue to enter these new moments, but post COVID, if we can call anything, you know, yeah.

Speaker 3: Post anything. But the generational shifts, the remote work and. Versus RTO conversations. I just read a terrible stat the other day about the drop off once again, of [00:21:00] women in the workforce. Yes. Almost as bad as it was during the years of COVID, because as folks are being asked to return to office, there's just not, we do not have the systems in place or the infrastructure in place to take care of our families, and so women inevitably are going back to caretaking in the home.

And so I think we, to your point, we think about. Workforce, these words come out, but the ultimate reality is these are people's lives, right? And how we're thinking about the future generations and generational wealth. I mean, all of that is tied into whether or not you can even stay in the workforce in the first place.

Speaker 4: And if we aren't creating. Better structures to help people engage in the workforce. Kind of the nice thing now is we have some other options. They're more creative and looked as like, well, that's not traditional, but having access to the internet and being able to create things a lot more easily. You don't necessarily have to have a brick and mortar as an entrepreneur and [00:22:00] do a thing totally.

You can do some things by your phone. You can earn that income. You can set those things up. So I think. One of the things I like to do is to talk to people about how can you be flexible? Where are the ways you can be flexible here and not, you know, require maybe that full policy but maybe think about it a little bit differently, which can be a challenge.

And not every job can be that way, and that's a reality too, but also. If you are a mom, a parent, a caregiver that's had to come fully out of that traditional career, what are there other opportunities that maybe we're missing helping support in that way, way too. So that's always something that I am very much mindful of and try to bring up in the spaces I'm in when there's an opportunity to think of it differently.

How do you encourage that entrepreneurial mindset, whether you're working for yourself or working within an organization? Yeah, totally. I think ultimately there's still this maybe more traditional way of thinking of [00:23:00] business ownership and entrepreneurship. Right. Um, and curious for you. If you'd be willing to share what has been a challenging moment for you, or maybe not a moment, but is there anything that you have found to be challenging as you're going out on your own and as you're building and as you're thinking about what's next?

I think it probably goes back to a lot of things of. The timing, the pressure of what's the right thing to do at the right time, and oh, I expected to be over here, and maybe that's not going as quickly as I thought, or other things maybe going faster than what I thought. So just being able to sit with that to go, okay, here's where I've kind of set this course in motion, and these are some goals I've set, but that timeline may look differently than what I fully anticipated and making sure I'm kind of coming back to.

Grounding myself in, okay, what's the priority? What are the true goals? And where that fits in The timeline may have to shift, [00:24:00] but that doesn't change what I've set out to do and what I'm trying to accomplish. I think you kind of alluded to my little hack before, but that's really where it came from, is treating myself even before I was a business owner going.

Okay. I need to strategically plan or have meetings with myself and go, Hey, this is what this quarter looks like, or This is what this year looks like. Whatever made sense at the time, and that practice still stands with me and it's something that I, you know, happy to do with other people and guide them through that process, or even just share over conversation like we had talked about.

And it's definitely kept me grounded. And so I think that that really helps in those moments where I am frustrated. Because of some internal pressure I put on myself. It's not even someone else's pressure always. It's always our own. Yeah, it's always our own. Yes. Hey, nobody knew that you were gonna do that, and it's okay that that didn't happen.

Yeah. There's certain, you know, regulatory things that you have to keep up with. But some of [00:25:00] these other things are going, that was just an arbitrary deadline you had for yourself, that it's not really mattering in the grand scheme of things. Mm-hmm. Come back. Yep. Roll it back and then go from there. Yes.

Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. But I do think as an entrepreneur that is deeply important is that you have an ability to give yourself those deadlines as if you were on a team or if you were leading a team, or if you were an employee, whatever, and have the, the image in my head of sitting across from you at coffee and you saying.

Well, did you do quarterly retreats when you were leading a team? Or did you do X, Y, and Z when you were working at an office? And I was like, well, yeah, of course. And you're like, well, why wouldn't you do that for yourself? I'm like, oh my gosh, listen. Oh my gosh. You are so right. And it has now become. I, I shared with you, I did a post on it recently because it was so, it has been so impactful for me, and I think we can sometimes imagine that there's these big things that need to happen in order to feel like you're grounded or like you're moving in the right direction.

But it can be [00:26:00] as simple as one day a quarter, that's it. Of course, there's small practices throughout the rest of that time, but. One day everybody can manage one workday of getting quiet and removing everything off the calendar. I know it can seem impossible, but, and it goes all the way back to the first thing you shared around reflection.

It is important to look back and look at what we've done because I think we, not just women, but women in particular do spend a lot of our time just forward focused. We're not really used to. Celebrating our wins or thinking about the impact that's already been had. It's like, cool, what's next and what's next?

And I think I'm shocked every single time I do this practice now to look back at the three months that led up to that. I'm like, oh my gosh, I did so much shit. So much that has happened in that short. Timeframe. And so to allow yourself to see that and put it all out there and then use [00:27:00] that to guide yourself going into the next quarter, the next half of the year, whatever it is, um, it's totally changed the way I look at the work and it's changed my.

Honestly my appreciation for the work. I think it also takes you out of the day to day what can feel like a slog at times of one foot in front of the other. Keep building, keep going. Keep showing up. Yes. You know, go through the challenges, but then also recognize that those little quiet wins along the way.

They also Sure do add up. And it's, it's now become my favorite four days of the year. Yeah, and that's so exciting. And it was such an honor, both the fact that you recognized me in that post. I was like, oh my goodness, I can't believe she shared that because it's been so important to me, and I was so glad to hear that it made an impact for someone including yourself.

Speaker 4: Shift in the mindset because you're exactly right. As women, a lot of times we focus really in on, it's all an uphill climb, and I'm a woman of [00:28:00] color, and that's a constant message that gets played. It's like you're never quite there. Well, sometimes you have to stop and pause and maybe the world or other people may say you're not there, but.

If you can say for yourself, Hey, but I have made progress. Mm-hmm. And I feel good about this progress and here are some things I'm gonna continue doing and ways I'm continue to show up. That makes a world of difference. 'cause you can't control what other people are gonna say or think about you. But you can in some ways control how you set yourself up for success.

And looking back is a great way to. Look at the patterns and see, oh, you know, you opened with that great question of take me back. And then I was able to, in my mind's eye go, oh yes, I'm seeing all those little steps. I'm remembering that. So that when things do get hard, 'cause they do. And there are times where this journey is lonely.

You don't have the same coworker, you don't have the same comradery. It's [00:29:00] important to engage with people who are in similar spaces, but ultimately, a lot of times when you're doing the solopreneur thing, it's that it's on me and how do I keep motivating myself to keep doing this too? And I think that's another way outside of the deadlines and everything to go, yeah, this is why I did it.

This is why I started it in the first place. Right. Do you find yourself, um. My husband was making so much fun of me the other day. He's like, if I catch you at 2:00 AM doing what you're doing right now, 'cause I can tell you are in it. He's like, you are trying to crack a code to something. I mean, it sounds so silly, but I'm trying to set up, I'm gonna be moving to a new platform to house all of my work and my content, whatever, and like, but to do that, it's a little complicated.

Speaker 3: And this is not my jam. This is not my skillset, but I'm gonna make it happen. Yes. And it is not where I would typically find my joy or where I would feel energized or inspired, but I am so in it that I'm like, I will make this work and I am going to make [00:30:00] it happen, and I can see the value it will provide future forward.

Are you finding that at all as you're building what's next makes a difference when your weekend goes, oh, you know what? I actually wanna get back into what I put down. I still stay traditional in terms of my general schedule. It's again, same. Family and what I'm doing doesn't make sense for me to alter that.

Speaker 4: But, so it is kind of nice to go, okay, it's Friday afternoon, this is kind of that wind down, look ahead to the next week. And then I'm not having the same Sunday scaries as you know. No. Maybe early on in my career I would've felt like, oh, okay, here comes Monday. What am I gonna do? It's, yeah, it's a different excitement.

Um, it's a different excitement because I like to learn, as you heard from my academic journey, I do best when I'm learning new things and being challenged in a way, and. Yes. That inspiration, middle of the night inspiration is my jam. I've never been a great sleeper. Thank you. So when I find myself at like, you [00:31:00] know, 2:00 AM 3:00 AM just sitting there like, I could either scroll or I can go get some work done.

True. That's how I got my master's program done with my little baby and everything. She was sleeping in her room and then I was up typing the paper in the other room after, you know, feeding her at night. So it, it is just one of those. Practices. I think that still stuck into this, this phase, and it is exciting and it is cool because you do get to, you get to use your brain in a different way than I think you necessarily do if you stick to a, you know, one path or the other.

Absolutely. All jobs have different challenges to them, but this, you kind of have to be, you have to be very flexible and you have to be willing to learn something new or, yeah. Put yourself in a position where you can hire that out or find a different resource for it. But usually in the beginning it's you trying to figure that out and totally know, okay, once I get here, I don't wanna do this anymore.

Yes, yes. [00:32:00] I wonder if this, I, if you have a thought on this and I don't yet. I'm still honestly trying to work it out in my mind. It's just as we are talking, I recognize that as we are talking about wanting to give a lot of our time to what we're building, and there's also this. Conversation around hustle culture and this other conversation around protecting your time and your peace.

Speaker 3: And it feels like there's a lot of chatter right now and people with big opinions on how to either not have hustle culture as part of your life. And I think I find myself questioning this at times 'cause I'm like, well. If you want something though, it requires work and it requires commitment and it requires you to show up and, and yet of course we don't wanna overwork ourselves to the point of burnout, right?

So what is that? What are we working towards and what are we calling it? Well, it's an interesting thing. I wish I could remember her last name, but her first name's Diane. She's presented at an event [00:33:00] that I went to and she, uh, plays violin and her. Believe her book is called Flow, and that's what she kind of calls it, is flow and getting into that rhythm.

Speaker 4: And when you find yourself in that rhythm, that's when you know you're, you're in the right space, you're doing the right thing, or you have the right tools around you because it doesn't feel like a hustle. It just feels like it comes as easy to you as it does the way she plays. Mm-hmm. And the music that you're hearing or you sing a, a dancer and their fluidity and their moves and all of that.

I think that that's where that shift can be. Taken from your just. Hustling and not really getting anywhere more of like a hamster wheel mindset. I talk in analogies, sorry. That's just how I, no, I love it. I love it. I'm here for it. Uh, versus you're pacing yourself at the right times in a different way because that hamster wheel is just spinning and it's never going anywhere, whereas in, in more of these other places or the ways that you're thinking of your work, it's getting [00:34:00] you to something else.

And I think that that's a little bit of that different. I think the other thing I like that too, is for yourself non-negotiables and the way that you can go, okay, whether it is paid work, volunteer things I'm doing with my family, here's what I'm willing to do and here's what I'm not willing to do.

That's again, that reflective mindset of going, okay, if I know that these are the boundaries of what I wanna do with my time, or how I wanna extend myself and the energy I wanna do, then. That's how I have to be a little disciplined as an entrepreneur and or a leader because I could quickly burn myself out pre husband and kid.

Oh, that's, no, forget it.

There's no one reigning that in, but that wasn't healthy, that wasn't helpful for life enjoyment. And then now some of it is a forced, like my kid has to be picked up and if my husband can't pick her up, we don't have [00:35:00] family close. Uh, that that's, it's us two. Yeah. That's the boundary. And that kind of creates that in a natural way and it's gonna look different for everyone.

But for me, that's how. I feel about it and how I think about it is, is this taking my energy? Then maybe that's more that hustle and some things are just going to, 'cause that's just totally do it. But if it's an option, why are you doing that? If it's taking, yeah. Or why are you doing it at that time? Would you do it different at different time?

I think that too can happen is we sometimes we think very literally and traditionally, yes, this is how it has to be, and then you stop and ask that question of why. Do I have to schedule this meeting at this point in the day, and I was given all these options. Why am I picking the worst one for myself if I know I have more energy later?

Or if I know I have energy early, why am I scheduling this task for myself at the end of the week? Mm-hmm. When, oh, I'm not going to engage the way I [00:36:00] want to engage or show up the way I wanna show up. Yes. So I think that that can kind of shift that. Hustle mindset to more productive in more. And it's not gonna be perfect.

It may change hour by hour, day by day, but that at least can give you some framing for it. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I think that's a really beautiful way of thinking about it, because I think, you know, there can be so much noise in the world about the way you're supposed to do something or the way it's supposed to look or feel.

Yeah. And ultimately. You're the only one living in your day, and so you have to set it up in the way that works for you. Why do you feel like if you don't start your day in front of your computer at 8:30 AM that you've fallen behind? It's just in my brain. It is something that is so ingrained in me and I have had autonomy, very, very, very grateful for the amount of autonomy I had even in my last full-time role.

Speaker 3: So I've had years of. The opportunity of trying to peel some of that back and I still [00:37:00] struggle with it, so I still do and, and I think some of it's trial and error again, just like totally additional roles. You had trial and error about how things were implemented? Yes. You had a directive how you implemented and maybe sometimes it went exactly how you thought and sometimes it went nothing like you thought and you make those adjustments.

Speaker 4: Same thing in this space of going, okay, that didn't work. Let me think about it differently, and how can I set myself up for better success in the future? Totally. Again, a little bit of reflection moment. When you think about what success meant to you when you first were starting in your career, or you envisioned what success might look like in the beginning, has that evolved over time?

Speaker 3: When you think about what that looks like for you. Absolutely. Absolutely. 'cause I think at various times it's meant a title various times. It's meant what's that paycheck look like? And those are important. And I think that they do, they have an importance, let me, [00:38:00] let me say it that way. They look different in different spaces and in different ways.

Speaker 4: But I think that, and I think this will continue to evolve. I think you'll talk to me next year and it'll be a different answer probably. Right. And for me, success was like, oh, I'm owning this space that I've crafted for quite a bit of time, and now that's what looks successful. Having a business, Tyler Bryant Consulting, something that has my own name in it.

It feels good. It feels wonderful. I get to still work with some great organizations and great groups and continue to do that work in different spaces, but now I get to do it under my own name and branding in a different way, right? Mm-hmm. People recognize my name, but now I can kind of formalize that and that's what looks like success for me, because I think for a long time.

Like I said, you know, little 17-year-old me was totally lost and wasn't sure what she was doing with her life. She never would've imagined the academic journey she went on or the different [00:39:00] careers she's had, but I've been able to take all of that and now create something new and who knows what I'm gonna do next.

I don't, yeah, I didn't necessarily envision this thing, but it's exciting because I can go. Okay. This is where I've built up to and now that feels like success for me. It feels sounding and I feel grounded and settled, I think is what, like That's awesome. Yes. I feel like grounded and settled. Those two words feel like.

Speaker 3: For me, that is it. There is nothing else outside of that. Of course, all the other stuff is great. Yes. Like who, who doesn't wanna make money? Yes. We all want these things for sure. Not gonna say no to that, but the foundation of being grounded in that, yes, I do think allows for a different, um, it's just a different way of.

Being with that success. I'm curious if I've got two questions for you before we wrap. One is, as [00:40:00] we think about women that are either kind of earlier or middle career, that might be navigating their own evolutions or thinking about what it means to be in new leadership positions or maybe taking on bigger leadership roles, was there anything that you found surprising about being a woman in leadership at any point in your career?

Speaker 4: Hmm. I dunno. Surprising. Yeah. Now again, I'm gonna say this, and I don't often say this because I don't often make. My skin tone the thing, but I can't ignore it. Right. It exists. So I think a lot of times my lens wasn't so much from surprised me as a female, it is more surprised me as Oh, a black woman in leadership.

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. And what that came with, and some of the resistance I felt in that way. Then I'd have to sit with myself and go, was it because of this or this, or the combination of the two that I bring to the table. Yes. The reaction why I received a reaction that way. But I [00:41:00] had, even from a, a young age, I had really solid parents who just kept instilling that confidence and kept instilling, you know, worth and value and our faith and all of those things that I think, again, they, that were grounded for when those times came didn't mean that they weren't.

Speaker 4: Hard or harsh, but I didn't have to stay stuck there. Mm. I take a look at, I could either use those times where it was difficult and be stuck there and stay sort of in that angry, bitter place and do work on that. Or I could take that and go, I'm gonna do better things. I'm going to privy wrong. I'm going to do this.

And some of that is just me and my innate nature. But that is, I think over time, how I've come through those things and then. If I was talking with someone who is in that younger place, don't let yourself stay here with that, but acknowledge this didn't feel good. This wasn't what you thought, but [00:42:00] how can you use it and do something different?

Do something. Yes. We all have to recognize there will be moments that are not going to be great to your point, but to not sit in that and not to allow that to then define us going forward. Yes. Right. And I love your reframe of, it's not just about being a woman or a woman of color or young or whatever our external presence is that all of these things clearly matter and they definitely shape the way we move in the world and the way the world reacts to us.

Speaker 3: And we also have to then decide how we want to move through that and how we want to say, well then screw you. Just watch me. So I think you're right. Everybody has their own lesson in that regardless. So I appreciate that and I appreciate the reframe on the question because I think it's not just about being a woman.

There are things about being a woman in the workplace. For sure. There are forever and always. So as we wrap, this is the question that I love to ask every woman that I speak with, [00:43:00] which is, you know, as I'm looking at my work and this kind of bridging of. Personal and professional development with external strategy of whatever it is that you're building in the world, whether it's your business or whether it's the team you're leading.

Um, all of this is somehow in service of the legacy that you're building towards. And recognizing that legacy means something very different to everyone. And that's why I love this question because everybody answers it so differently. I recognize it will evolve when we chat together next year. But for this moment and for today, what does building a legacy mean for you?

Speaker 4: Oh. That is such a great question. I love this question. I'm gonna probably stumble through the answer, but It's okay. It's okay. Everybody does in some way, 'cause I'm thinking of it, my mind kind of branched off into a few different facets. First, when I think of legacy, I was thinking of my, both my mom and my daughter.

Mm-hmm. And thinking of the way I've. Become and built my business stems from some of the things I saw, both [00:44:00] not just my dad, but my mother, and then I'm thinking of my daughter and how she's getting to see her mom be in the world and do things in the world, and how I can keep carrying that forward. So that was kind of the initial, my initial impression with Legacy.

Then when I think kind of a step back into more of maybe my professional. Place of just going, I just hope the things that I'm involved in have an impact beyond me. Mm-hmm. So whether it's that board I sit on that is making decisions and deciding to invest in different places, uh, bringing in diverse voices to things, I wanna make sure that whatever I'm involved in.

Is creating that larger impact, and my company may go away because one day I'm not gonna be here. But I hope that the work that I've been doing carries forward and becomes something greater and has an impact on somebody else. Mm. Yes, and I'm guaranteed [00:45:00] it will. That's like no question. All the work you've done to date, I'm sure has.

Speaker 3: And so you just get to build on top of that and create an even deeper impact, which is so exciting. I'm so excited for you. I'm so excited to watch your journey. Unfold and see all the great work that you're gonna be doing in the future. So I just really appreciate you and I'm so excited that we're connected.

I'm so thrilled to be on an entrepreneurial journey alongside such a badass lady. So, um, yeah, just thank you. Well, thank you and thank you for having this wonderful forum. Sharing a story is always exciting and I love getting to hear more about yours as well. Through this conversation, I'm excited to see as.

Speaker 4: These conversations continue to involve and what you're doing. I, I look forward to the parallel work we get to do. Me too. Me too. So good to see you. Thank you again, and I will see you soon. Yes. Okay. Bye Kylie. Bye.

Speaker: Thank you so much for listening and spending some of your time with me [00:46:00] here. I hope our conversation sparked some new ideas for you. If you enjoyed the episode, please make sure to hit subscribe so you don't miss what's next. And if you are ready for even more tools and stories, head on over to belden strategies.com/newsletter.

I share fresh insights, stories, and tools for women leaders every week. Until next time, keep building, keep evolving, and remember that you are kind of a big deal.