Beyond The Bump - We Talk postpartum and matrescence with Life Postpartum.

Welcome to the Project Baby Podcast — your go-to space for real talk on pregnancy, birth, and everything that comes after.

Today’s episode is "Beyond The Bump", and we’re diving deep into the raw, beautiful, and often overlooked realities of postpartum and matrescence — the transformation into motherhood.

We’re joined by the incredible team from Life Postpartum, who are on a mission to support new parents as they navigate life after birth — physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Whether you're a new mum, a soon-to-be parent, or someone supporting one, this conversation is one you don’t want to miss.

So grab a cup of tea, take a deep breath, and let’s talk life beyond the bump.

Find out more about Life Postpartum here :- https://www.lifepostpartum.com/our-story/

Transcript

Natasha (00:00)

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Welcome to the Project Baby podcast, where today we'll be speaking all about the postpartum experience. Today, I'm joined with Hannah and Hannah, from Life Postpartum. So the first topic I think we'll talk about is let's touch on your own postpartum journeys. So let's start with Hannah.

Hannah (00:35)

Yeah, so I'm in my second postpartum now, but thinking back to my first postpartum with my ⁓ son, I think the main feeling I felt was just unprepared. And I mean that from every single angle. So I was unprepared for how hard it would be. I was unprepared for that identity shift that I wasn't aware of. I wasn't aware of this idea of matrescence, of becoming a mother.

It was a language I'd never heard spoken about pre-baby. ⁓ So it all felt very overwhelming, I think, in those initial weeks and months. And I think I felt unprepared in terms of the healing that I would need to go through. I think I was very guilty of thinking I would just bounce back and I think...

Society has a part to play in that narrative and I think that's something we're strongly kind of against is this bounce back culture because actually I wasn't aware that that healing my body needs time to recover. ⁓ I wasn't aware that actually because I'm breastfeeding the hormones are going to affect my recovery and actually still feel those physical symptoms for you know up to a year, 18 months because I was breastfeeding. I had no idea of that, you know, I thought I'd be back to exercise, back to doing weights and it just wasn't that. And I think because I felt so unprepared in that, that began to affect me mentally as well because of that shift and that shock to the system, I just wasn't expecting it. So my expectations and the reality were just so far apart. I just didn't know how to have a vocab for that or how to kind of navigate my way through it.

So I think definitely a sense of being unprepared for just that massive transition, physically, mentally, emotionally, know, all aspects.

Natasha (02:31)

And during that, did you find the support that you needed?

Hannah (02:35)

I did and I'm very lucky to have an amazing family, an amazing partner, yet I still felt an internal struggle, I guess, and I found it really hard to ask for that support because I'd done all the reading of the baby books, I'd done lots of research, I could tell you what tos he should be wearing at bed, and I knew everything about the baby, but I'd never thought about myself in that. And suddenly, there's a brand new baby, I don't wanna be...asking about me, it's all about the baby isn't it? Surely it's all about the baby and I think I felt quite isolated in that and I didn't realise that this is something that lots of new mums go through and it wasn't until I started talking with Hannah and my other new mums that found that everyone's got their own story and actually finding that ⁓ community and being seen and heard by other mums is really powerful and important for new mums in that stage because you can feel quite invisible.

And it's hard to ask for that support because you think everyone's come to see the baby and I don't want to now say can someone help me because I'm really hurting and I'm bleeding and I'm in pain and I'm tired and I've got sleep deprivation and all those things. So yeah, I had the support but it wasn't easy to ask for.

Natasha (03:52)

Yeah, I think that's the hardest part, isn't it? As any woman, think, when you get this newborn baby and you take it home and you, I think you think, my God, it's gonna be like this blissful TikTok that's like everybody's gonna love and it's just gonna fit all together like a jigsaw. But actually, that's not really the reality. And how have you found it second time around?

Hannah (04:13)

So second time round, I think all those things still exist. I think I've been more prepared because I was so shocked about that transition from nought to one and all those feelings I felt and the kind of mental spiral I felt myself going into as well. I think I was really ⁓ made sure that I prepared for this postpartum.

So I focused on making sure I had nutritionally dense foods available, you know, not just for a week, but for the month. Like what was I going to do to ensure I was nourishing my body? Not just to save time with a microwave meal. I wanted replenishing food that nourished me. You know, I planned for that support. I planned for knowing I'd have to sleep deprivation and just allowed myself, and I'm still allowing myself because he's only four months old, but to lean into that slower pace and again reject that bounce back culture and just actually take the time my body needs to heal and give it what it needs which is a slower pace, is the rest, is the recovery and then slowly start to build that strength back up. So I'm just giving myself permission to be in that time which is something I just didn't know even existed the first time and I think is what we're really passionate about sort of highlighting that mothers need that protection in that fourth trimester.

Natasha (05:34)

Definitely, Hannah, what about yourself?

Hannah (05:37)

Well, so I'm a mum of one, my daughter is two years old now. Prior to having her, I was in the office every day, you pretty high powered career, very independent, I was out doing with friends and having my little girl was like, whoa, that all just went right out the window. And again, you know, unprepared is the word I think I went for you know, that was once she was born, everything just kind of switched within one day. I was very lucky to have a very straightforward quote unquote straightforward birth. And I think because of that, I put a lot of pressure on myself like, well, you know, it was easy, you're fine, you're not, you haven't got anything wrong with you as such. Get out there, get back to it and all of that. And I think it was a lot of pressure.

Natasha (06:25)

Yeah an expectation on yourself. ⁓

Hannah (06:27)

I think I treated it like a job. I can nail that... yeah exactly and I think you it was it was the... can't treat it like that because it's 24-7 so the burnout very quickly. So yeah I think for me it was just having to really reevaluate the approach and you lean into the fact that the to-do list has to go out the window.

And that actually if all I do today is sit on the sofa and feed, then that is good enough. That's what I'm meant to be doing. So for me, it was a full identity shift from being that out there working independent woman to actually the supermarket and sitting here feeding might just be what's happening today. And just having to really, yeah, just reevaluate my approach.

Natasha (07:13)

And I think that's such an important message, you know, is that actually it's okay that you didn't do your to-do list today. Do you know what I mean? Like that's fine. Like if, you know, all you did was have a coffee and sit down somewhere or, you know, or hang the washing on the line, you know, that's fine. It doesn't...make us any less of parents, you know, and I think that's the hardest part. think when we see social media these days and people bouncing back, like you say, and I think that's so hard, isn't it? Like you see this picture perfect and you're like, I'm going to look like that at six weeks. I was so shocked when I saw some facts on your socials that six to eight weeks is classed as the postpartum. Like it took you nine months to grow this baby.There's no way any of us can recover in six to eight weeks. There's just no way.

Hannah (08:05)

Absolutely. And there are some, you know, when we think about some of the research and the stats that we read into and carried out when we were setting up life postpartum, know, 74 % of women will experience nutritional depletion in postpartum and that will carry on for up to a year or longer. Those hormonal shifts, they are happening for a minimum of six months and usually much longer, especially if you're breastfeeding and all of that.

You know postpartum, it's a lifetime journey, right? It's definitely not six to eight weeks, it is a lifetime and it's something that when we think about that doctor's check at six weeks, a lot of us go for that and we're sort of given that cursory glance over and told, yep, you're good to go. And I think that's where that sort of bounced back and perhaps the pressure that women put on themselves is that I've had that and now I should be back to it. And that's that sort of critical gap that we have sort of found and think that needs to be a solution for.

Hannah (09:03)

And I think because, you know, having gone through it and experienced a lack of postpartum care, think that frustration is what really drove us to develop life postpartum because, you know, personally, I just wanted to scream about it. I was so frustrated that women have done the most incredible job of growing a baby and then sustaining life through breastfeeding or whatever method of feeding you choose. And the women and the mothers are just forgotten in all of that. And I just think...

As Hannah said, know, those hormonal shifts can go on for one to two years before you actually regulate again. You're gonna be nutritionally depleted for a long time. And without that education, that guidance, like you're just gonna reach for the sugary snacks because you're sleep deprived. And actually you wanna be making sure your body is healing and recovering through protein rich foods, omega-3, et cetera, et cetera. But no one tells you about that. It's not mentioned pre-baby. It's not mentioned at your GP appointment.

You know, with my second baby, I had my six week checkup after a C-section and they didn't even check the scar. And you know, that's not to say doctors and midwives are doing a bad job, but it's not their job to look at the mother. And I think this is where we're trying to come from with life postpartum is that the midwives are doing an amazing job prenatally and for the birth event. It's not their job to also add on the pressure of making sure the mother is.

looked after from more different angles. What we're trying to say is there is a gap there, isn't there? A critical gap for those mothers where we're being lost in the system. And I think historically there is a sort of systemic bias ⁓ through research and through healthcare that looks at things in male-centric lens. And actually women's needs are being diminished. And I think we really want to just kind of shout about that gap and raise awareness really for those needs of the mother, because it's such a critical and vulnerable time.

Hannah (10:59)

And I think often women might feel they're being selfish to focus on themselves, but you know a thriving mother is going to be a thriving baby.

Natasha (11:07)

Yeah, absolutely. I think that's such an important part. And I also read on your socials. And I don't think it'll shock anybody. 98 % of new mums feel exhausted.

Hannah (11:20)

No way. Shock horror. Well this is it isn't it and so you know sleep deprivation is a huge part of early motherhood and on to you know when does it end that is a question and it is one of the things that you know when we were focusing on how do we bring something to the market that supports our mums.

We know that they are also experiencing all of those things like sleep deprivation and they need that help and advice on baby. So what we were really trying to do with Life Postpartum was essentially, you know, stop the Google scroll, stop the 2am, my gosh, you know, what... Yeah, you know, what should I be doing? ⁓ I'm lying here, sleep deprived, trying to feed my baby and I'm Googling how do I get my baby to sleep through the night or how do I insert whatever other million thoughts that we all have, you know, when our babies are...

Natasha (11:59)

following whatever.

Hannah (12:13)

younger and probably throughout their entire childhood to be honest. And so with Life Postpartum, what we're trying to achieve is that one stop shop that gives people expert advice. Everyone that we are working with is incredibly highly qualified, very passionate about postpartum and supporting women and to give women a place they can go to know that this is the highest standard of support I can get. I can trust this advice.

we've brought in sleep consultants so that if sleep deprivation is a big thing, you know, you can get that support there to help you to start kind of bringing in gentle routines, get all of that in one place.

Hannah (12:52)

Yes, I think that's absolutely correct and that sleep deprivation is massive for new mums and it's one the baby isn't going to sleep through the night because they're a baby and they're not meant to. So you can put good things in place but also again we want to bring it back to the mother so thinking about what can the mum do to really support her.

during that time of sleep deprivation. So that's not necessarily gonna go away for a few months. I'm currently going through it right now. But trying to set yourself up as a new mum for how can you support that or how can you tell your partner to support you through that time? So is that cooking some nutritionally dense foods? Is that having some healthy snacks that you can have during the day? Is that setting up like a drink station at night so you've got water on hand or juice on hand whenever you need it?

So it's about again, bringing it back to the mother and setting the mother up for success to really help them through that period. And also to know that it's not forever, like sleep deprivation can feel quite exhausting by its nature when you're in it, but it's not forever. And I think another aspect of life postpartum is that community. And we found ourselves in our own postpartum journey that speaking to new mums makes you feel not as invisible and not like you're going through it alone. And actually this is normal.

But there's lots of things you can do to actually make that a little bit easier.

Hannah (14:11)

A community is so important and I think it's also the acceptance of your personal journey. So I think, you know, we all sort of know that the future of caring for our health is moving towards being increasingly more personalised and that's something that we felt was really important when we were starting to bring together life postpartum, that every new mother's experience and postpartum journey is personalised, it's different. So what we have done is when you sign up,

to the members hub, we will ask you what was your due date, sorry, when did you give birth, and you will get a personalized action plan based on where you are at that time in your postpartum journey. We're very much sort of at the start of that personalization journey. Our goal is to create a fully personalized service, but for now, what we're offering is when you arrive on the platform, you'll get that action plan. It'll say, okay, you're days postpartum. Here is what we recommend focusing on, because your brain is adult, you're sleep deprived.

So how do we make it easy for you? So here is focus on this nutritionally and here is an easy meal plan that you can follow. Stick it in the freezer, you've got it for the week. Here is where to focus for mental health, you know, in those newborn days to actually, when you're thinking about returning to work, for example, that's a big stage of those, that sort of first year. So being able to tailor your journey to where you are and kind of meeting that mum where they are to make it as easy and as helpful as possible.

Natasha (15:35)

Yeah, I think that's really great advice. And 10 to 20 % of women will suffer from post-natal depression. That's quite a high, isn't it?

Hannah (15:46)

Yeah, yeah, there's some very high numbers out there when it comes to all of these figures around postpartum.

Hannah (15:53)

think it's a really sensitive topic, isn't it? And I think it's really good at the moment. think society, know, celebrities are speaking out about their experiences of motherhood. And I think that's really powerful because I think one of the issues, and a person I found was, although I don't think I suffered from postnatal depression as such, I definitely felt myself spiralling into that darker place I'd never experienced before. This was all such a shock.

So think we were really keen to make sure that we had a pillar in life postpartum that really new mums could go to and know that support was there. So we worked with a clinical psychologist, Dr. Margie Bowes, who herself has gone through matrescence. She has a young daughter, so she knows firsthand some of those struggles. And we really wanted to bring those resources to new mums, again, just to make them really accessible. So we've got some birth reflection, we've got some videos from Dr. Margie.

We've got lots of resources that can be a kind of first step towards acknowledging this transition, acknowledging your own feelings and reflecting on that birth. And obviously, you know, there's a lot further steps you might want to take depending on your level of sort of postnatal or postpartum reflection. But we wanted to make sure that was a large pillar of what we provide on the platform because it is such a big stat, you know, and you could even suggest it's probably more with women going undiagnosed.

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Natasha (18:01)

What is the motivation for creating you r platform? Tell our listeners.

Hannah (18:04)

I think it was just a big frustration at the lack of postpartum care that we received or personally I received after both my children. I actually felt a little let down by society. think society potentially is glorified having a baby in the birthing process and it is the most amazing thing in the world but it's that paradox that I just really struggled with and I don't think the caregiving and the relentlessness and the selflessness that you give during motherhood. All what the mum is going through is talked about enough, it's just not highlighted and that's really detrimental to the mum then going forward and doesn't help those statistics of 10 to 20 percent struggling with their postpartum depression and mental health because you don't feel seen, you feel invisible, you feel like you should be coping because this is the narrative that society has given. And think we're just really keen to highlight mothers as the key pillar in all of this. And actually their needs are so important because the healthy mum, the happy baby.

Hannah (19:13)

So think we prepare for pretty much everything else in our life, don't we? We prepare for our first interviews, we prepare for, we're getting married, we're writing a speech, we're preparing for it. When it comes to birth, we go to those prenatal classes, we maybe do the online hypnobirthing course, but for some reason, our brains sort of stop at the birth point and we don't think about what's next. there's no pair.

Natasha (19:36)

Yes, there’s no postnatal course.

Hannah (19:37)

Exactly.

And that's interesting when you say postnatal. So postnatal actually refers to the baby. So prenatal and postnatal. And that's a word that's used most of the time is postnatal. But actually postpartum is the journey that the mother goes on. And you're right that there is very little, if anything at all, to support women in that postpartum phase. So for us, big driver was let's help women prepare for this so that they understand the realities. And they can be, you know, it's not about scaring you into postpartum or know kind of giving any it's going to be it is going to be challenging but so let's set ourselves up for success let's think about you know when we're in our third trimester how can we prepare preparing the freezer full of all those meals that are going to be nutritionally replenishing so that it's there it's ready so when you are sleep deprived in that fourth trimester it's just there for you knowing that sleep deprivation is going to be real, we've got an entire series around rest and rejuvenation on the platform. That might, what rest might look like for you in those first few months might actually just be 10 minutes with baby doing a breathing exercise that just kind of regulates our nervous system, brings you back a little bit to you and helps you kind of, I guess as well, just have a little bit of ⁓ an affirmation and gratitude as to where you are and this is life at the moment and that's okay. And that might just give you that little bit of boost and energy to get you through the rest of the day.

And the same with mental health. It's all about preparing for that, right? Knowing that this is going to be a huge shift in identity. You probably will lose yourself for little while. That is motherhood, right? It is a huge shift. But actually, if we understand that's going to happen, we can prepare a little bit for that.

Natasha (21:19)

Yeah, and I think making sure that us parents and our partners are aware of all of the symptoms of postnatal depression and making sure that you can seek the help, where do you go? Or your partner can seek help for you yourself. And I think that is such an important part for any new family coming forward.

Hannah (21:43)

Another motivation for us was, you we had slightly different birthing experiences and postpartum after, but what united us was this kind of lack of postpartum care. And I think we found then, you when we went to baby groups and met new mums, that every mum had their own story. And it was often of a lack of not knowing where to go or a lack of support, or everyone had something that just added to the picture that we'd experienced ourselves. And we just thought...

There's a critical gap here. Women aren't being listened to. And I think, yeah, that sort of systemic bias has just meant that women's health isn't really listened to or championed. And I think we're just really passionate about bringing that to mothers and kind of making a difference to future mothers.

Natasha (22:27)

Yeah, I think it would be really valuable and especially for myself, I had post-natal depression with my youngest but I didn't go to any of the baby groups and that wasn't the place I could get the energy to go to, to seek the advice. Whereas if your platform had been around when I had had my youngest then it would have been a place that I could have sought some support and community and I think that just adds value to you know...

would have added value to my journey into parenthood. So I think that it's going to add such a value to lots and lots of people's communities going forward. What piece of advice would you give to a mum-to-be?

Hannah (23:13)

I think for me it would be, and this is going, speaking as a second time mum, four months into my second baby, I gave myself the advice of just being prepared for that transition. So by that, know, obviously we were developing Life Postpartum, we were working with some amazing experts who are really ⁓ highly qualified in their areas. So I really focused on the nutrition. I really focused on what I was going to put in place for my recovery.

So I had a little timeline of when I was going to start doing some yoga or some gentle breathing or Pilates. And I just went into this second birth knowing that I didn't have to think about it postnatally because I had a plan for me. And you know, things might go, you know, off track, but my partner knew we talked about it. I talked about the trouble I'd had after my first baby, those mental health struggles and the kind of triggers for those, and actually how this time we were going to address those pre-baby and make sure that we had the sort of strategy for going forward. So for me, it would just be, yeah, get prepared and think about you as the mum. This is such a massive transition. And I think that term, matrescence, when I found that about becoming a mother, that revolutionized what I was going through. It gave me a language for something that I couldn't explain. So I think being prepared and really thinking about the mother.

Hannah (24:38)

Yeah, you have a birth plan, so have a postpartum plan as well. Definitely. That's a big piece of advice from me. Absolutely. I still have my birth plan filed away ⁓ in a drawer. Next time around, I'll be writing the postpartum plan too. I think it's also just give yourself grace. You know, this is such a huge shift and we don't need to put any more pressure on ourselves than what's already there. So just give yourself that grace to feel all the feelings. ⁓

Hannah (25:07)

Take that time, whatever time you need. You can go to that baby class when you're ready. It doesn't have to be next week. It can be whenever feels right for you. And it's your personal journey. I think that's a huge thing. Everyone's postpartum journey is different. ⁓ so accept that. Give yourself grace.

Natasha (25:25)

I think allowing ourselves as mothers to say no, it's a word that does not come easy, But being able to say, visitors today, or like, hold the baby, I'm going for a shower. But being able to actually say, no, like, not today, I'm not coming out. Like, do you know what I mean? Absolutely. Yeah, being able to say no a little bit.

Hannah (25:44)

Just advocate for yourself.

Hannah (25:46)

Yeah.

Yeah,

and knowing that the day when it's a yes will come.

Natasha (25:53)

Yeah,

absolutely. So what can partners do to help?

Hannah (25:58)

Bye the Life Postpartum membership.

Hannah (26:01)

Yeah, I mean we do offer a gift option for our membership and we think that's something that, you know, in a culture of baby showers and baby grows and giving gifts that are sort of maybe more physical for the baby, actually what a partner can do is take a look at the Life Postpartum platform, for example, and think about how they can support the new mother to look after themselves because the mother's got the baby.

Like we know what we're doing, we've got that innately, haven't we? And obviously we might need some support, but we've got the baby, we need the partner to have us and have our back. And I think, you know, education, knowledge is power, isn't it? So if, you know, you can spend some time with your partner, looking at the Life Postpartum platform or looking at some nutrition or recovery or mental health aspects prior to giving birth, like you would prepare for your birthing event or hypnobirthing.

Spend some time thinking about that postpartum period with your partner so they know, let's get some nutrient-dense foods in here, let's make sure she's drinking because she's breastfeeding, let's make sure she's not trying to rush back and go and lift that deadlift over there or lift some weights because she needs some time for that recovery and that's okay that it takes time. So I think partners being that reassuring voice and educating themselves on postpartum because I think the issue is that society doesn't champion the mother.

and people don't know. And I think my partner was as shocked as I was after my first baby about what was happening. So I think just knowledge is power and we really want to support with that.

Natasha (27:34)

So the online can feel like quite a scary place for many parents. So how are you going to tackle that?

Hannah (27:40)

Absolutely. And I think it's actually one of the main drivers for why we're doing what we're doing. know, Google is wonderful for helping us find lots of things, but there is almost too much information out there, right? And I think it's too noisy. And when you're already in a state of overwhelm, when you have a new baby or you're kind of navigating that postpartum journey, it can be very hard to know who to trust, where to go.

⁓ and often you go to one website and it says one thing and you try another one and it says something completely different. So it can actually add to the noise and the overwhelm I think. So that is exactly what we're trying to tackle through Life Postpartum is to bring everything together that you will need, whether it be your nutritional support, your mental health support, hormonal ⁓ support and analysis, advice on baby, et cetera, all into one place where you can feel rest assured that it is...

advice from trusted experts that have the highest qualifications, they have been fully vetted, they know what they're talking about, that you don't need to think, is this quite what I need to know? And it's all there in easy digestible format that you can go to at two o'clock in the morning. Where if you're having that 2 a.m. my gosh, I just need an answer too, you can get that question out there, you can put it in our chat box to one of our midwives or whoever in the team you need to speak to, and within 24 hours you'll have that answer.

One of our big things is we really want to hold ourselves to that highest standard that actually, our goal in five years time is that the NHS will hopefully be recommending us as a source for postpartum mothers. helping people just understand that you can come to us, it's a one stop shop, it's all there for you and you can trust that advice and guidance.

Natasha (29:29)

So I end my podcast with a question to everybody. Let's start with yourself. What is your love language?

Hannah (29:39)

I think my love language is my partner doing something, for example, giving me some time by myself, so taking the baby without me asking. ⁓ I'd say his love language is bringing chocolate and gifts, which he does very well, but sometimes I just want to hand the baby over and then eat the chocolate.

Natasha (30:02)

I'm Hannah.

Hannah (30:03)

I think, possibly quite similar, for me it's very much sort do it without being asked. Lighten my mental load. ⁓ Yeah, absolutely. If I have to give you the shopping list before you go to the supermarket, might as well have just done it myself. So yeah, that's my love language. Do it before I've even had to think about it myself.

Natasha (30:19)

Thank you so much for coming on today. If our listeners want to know more about life postpartum, where should they go?

Hannah (30:28)

Well, firstly,

thank you so much for having us. So we are at lifepostpartum.com. You can find us on social at life underscore postpartum. You can also reach out at any point to hello at lifepostpartum.com. We are always so happy to answer any questions that you may have. We are truly here to support you on your journey. ⁓ If you go to our website, you will find lots of free resources, free guides and free videos that you can download.

And of course we do offer a seven day free trial, so if you just want to give it a go, please do.

Natasha (31:00)

Thank you for joining the Project Baby podcast. You can hit the subscribe button to watch more episodes and we look forward to seeing you on the next one.