EP 10: How To Keep Your Child Motivated In Dance

We all know motivation isn’t always constant… especially when it comes to dance 😅

In this episode of Dance Talks, Michelle and Laura dive into one of the biggest challenges for dance parents — how to keep your child motivated, even when their enthusiasm dips.

We’re sharing practical tips on what really helps build long-term motivation (and what might actually be doing the opposite 👀). From creating positive routines to knowing when to push and when to step back, we cover it all.

Plus, we talk honestly about those moments when motivation disappears completely — and how to support your child through it without adding pressure 💭

If you’ve ever heard “I don’t feel like going to dance today”… this episode is for you 🤍✨

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Hello and welcome to the Freedom to Dance Podcast. This is the place where we talk about absolutely everything in our little crazy world of dance. From what goes on inside our studio to the wider dance industry, too. You'll get to know your teachers, hear from real-life dance parents, and maybe even some of our pupils. And who knows what they'll have to say. So grab your dancing shoes or maybe just a copper. Join us for all the laugh stories and behind-the-scenes fun at Freedom to Dance. Hello and welcome back to another episode of Dance Talks. Yes, welcome back. So today's um episode is all about um how to keep your child motivated in dance and especially without pressure. Ooh, yeah, that's that adds in a different element to the question, doesn't it? It really does, it really does. So um this one's for you parents, really, today. Um and you know, I think the main thing have you ever sort of paid for dance classes um or any class for that matter, any type of hobby that your child may have um tried, you've got everything ready, you've packed the bags, you've got the hot water the hot water bottle. Not a hot water bottle, well, maybe if they do ice skating. Yes, or tobogony, autobogony and skiing, um, you know, the water bottles in, you've done the hair, you've made sure the uniform's on, and then your child turns around to you and says, I don't feel like going today.

unknown 1:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

You know, if that does sound familiar, then you're not alone. That's right. Today we're gonna be talking about something that every dance parent experiences at some point, and that's how to keep your child motivated in dance without it turning into a battle. Yeah, you shouldn't be hustling. No, expect kids to dance. Um so as I've just said, today's episode uh is for you, parents. Um, and you know, as you know, Miss Laurie and I are both parents ourselves. Are we? We are. We have children, apparently. How? Wow, why? In a drawer and locked in the cupboard. Um, but you know, so we know both our children do um, you know, sports and dance and this, that and the other. So we know um that motivation doesn't start in the studio, it does start at home. Um, and let's be honest, you know, when your child does lose motivation, it can feel quite frustrating. Um, you know, we're the ones, you're the ones investing time, money, energy. And really, we just want them to kind of enjoy it, but stick with it. Um, so you know, here's the first thing that we want you to remember really. Motivation is not constant, agreed. I absolutely 100% agree with that. You can't be motivated every single day. That's not reality, you know. We'd love to know as grown, yeah. Even the most passionate dancers in the world have days when they don't feel like going to class like that is normal. It's normal. There's a big difference between motivation and commitment. Yeah, definitely. So motivation is a feeling, um, it comes and it goes, it's a feeling. Yeah, commitment is a habit. Yeah. Commitment is what keeps them showing up even on the days when they're just not feeling it. Yeah, so I think you know, it's not the goal isn't to make your child feel excited every single time they're, you know, they're going to to their class or anything like that. It's it's to support them in building the consistency. Yeah. Um, so let's talk about something really important. Let's talk about what can actually demotivate children. Yeah. So I think sometimes without even realizing it, we can accidentally put pressure on kids. Um, you know, it's just the little things um maybe that we say or do, like um you need to practice this more, or why aren't you as focused as you were last week or last month? Um, or our pet, hey, yeah, even comparing them to other dancers. Yeah. Um, we know that as parents it comes from a good place, but for a child, it it can like suck the joy out of dance. Yeah, absolutely. And I think, you know, um certainly in in dance, and I will refer to dance because obviously that's what we do, um, that when you're taking it to the next levels of, you know, competitions and you're competing and you're doing exams and things like that, but I think when dance becomes all about results, exams, competition, being the best, that that naturally sometimes makes them start to feel like they're not good enough. Um, and that's then when their motivation's gonna drop. Yeah. And we've seen it, haven't we? We've seen it. Yeah, um, we always say, um, if it's not fun, why come? Yeah. Why would you go somewhere if it's not fun? So in your opinion, Miss Bell, in your opinion, what would you say actually helps? She's laughing because I've just clattered as I said that I just spared it. Oh that's we are gonna have to film one of these. Um what in your opinion, what would you say actually helps? Okay, so I think you know, we say it quite often. I think number one would be celebrate effort, not just uh their achievement. Yes, um, you know, so as daft as it sounds, instead of sort of saying, Oh, you were amazing, try to say, I loved how hard you work today. Yeah, it's like a deeper. Um we recently went on a course, didn't we? Yeah, and uh the lady who was running it was a psychologist, and it was like about how you rephrase your wording, and I think that's a prime example of just oh you are amazing. Yeah, like, yeah, they're amazing, but you're saying to them actually, you're praising the hard work that put not just the fact, not just the action, you're praising the action over the result, over the yeah, yeah, exactly. And I think that would help shift sort of your child um, you know, value the progress, not perfection. Yes, do you know? Um, so I think it's that, you know, you can still say like, oh you you know, you are great, and it's because of all, but still back to it, yeah, because you've worked so hard and I'm proud of you for all the effort you've put in, etc. etc. Um so then they recognise whether they came first place or they didn't make a final, yeah, that they're still still getting the same recognition. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. You know, you can still say because they will have still worked hard regardless of whether they came first or didn't get a recall. Yeah. They've worked hard. Just hold on, coffee slip. It's becoming a habit now. Juggling again. Oh no, sorry. Um, number two, I think, would be um keep communication open. Um, so you know, after a class, instead of maybe saying, you know, were you any good today? Try sort of more what did you enjoy in your class today? Yeah. Um, or did you find anything tricky to in your class? Yes. Um, I think this then creates a safe space for them to share without feeling that they've been judged or that there's an expectation because if you're asking, were you any good today, they know then that there's like an underlying expectation that you feel that they they should have been good today. Yeah. Um so it's just kind of, you know, just maybe asking them what did they enjoy, or um, did you find any bits tricky? Um, it just opens up more of a conversation um than a yes-no answer as well. Yeah. Um, and that's what's then helping with the communication. Yeah. Um, I'm gonna jump in, go on with our third little one here, third little tip. Um, now, dance teachers all over the world are gonna kind of like gasp when I say this but hear me out. Yeah. Allow days off. Let me finish. But work with your dance teacher on this one. Yeah. Okay, so allow days off. But please, please work with your dance teacher. Again, communicate with them. Okay, yes. Yeah. Uh we get it. Some days they're gonna be tired, some days they don't feel very confident, some days, let's face it, they're just not in the mood. Um, especially those little ones, and that's okay. Um, we've we've mentioned this on previous podcasts. Are you yawning? I am, it's past one o'clock. We are recording this podcast. The time is 2-0 eight. And this bell is yawning. This is it. Once it's past one o'clock, yeah, that's it. Yon yon yon. Sorry guys, it's okay. So um some days they're just not gonna feel in the mood, are they? Um, that's some days they'll be tired. Some days they'll be tired just like you, and that's okay. But uh, learning to show up is part of the journey, and yeah, what I was saying is we you touched on that in a previous podcast, didn't we? Yes. Um, just learning to show up is part of the journey. But also sometimes speak to your teacher if you know that they are absolutely if if they've got some point in turning up if we're not going to get anything out of them. No, but don't just not turn up, speak to they're really exhausted with you know, blah blah blah de blah. We might they've had a bad day at school, they might have fallen out with the mate. So they don't want to, do you know? But if you say it's like she's not feeling up to it, yeah. Um and then it might either be the right thing for them to do that night is not attend, or it might be that we can work together to get them in and try and turn what's been turn upside down when you fucking today's law. Yeah, I've realised I like a good saying. You really do. Imagine if I had them all tattooed over my body. Don't don't make me dare you. Don't do not make me make you dare me because you know that I'll do it. I know you will. That's the downside. I know, Miss Laura. I'm a dopamine chaser. Um okay, I have. Okay, number four, for us the teacher. Oh, I think we've said this before many a time. It can be tempting to correct them, coach them, give them feedback in the car, but your child needs you to be um to be there for them in other ways, okay? They need the studio to be their space uh where they connect with the teacher and the friends then. Yeah, the friends that are there. So let us guide them. Yeah. Your s your role is to support and not instruct. Yeah. Absolutely. We're not saying that your opinion doesn't matter on, you know, if you're trying to coach them or correct them. Um, you know, and some children might need that from their grown-up. Um, but there's, you know, it's understanding how to um how it's again comes back to the communication, doesn't it? Yes. Um, so let's have a real talk, Mel in all of it and you get serious. Oh, I know you do. I don't really do. So, you know, if your child does eventually say that they want to quit, I know as a parent, and I've experienced it with my child, who, you know, has has turned to me and said that regarding some of his sports that he does, um, it's really hard to not say the first thing that comes into your head. Yeah. But what I will say and suggest and try to advise is pause before reacting. Yeah. I think you say that to me a couple of times. Pause has Miss Laura before I can react. Yeah. So, you know, instead, you know, instead of saying no straight away or, you know, rah rah rah rah rah rah. I've done paid this, but you know, exactly. You know, the thing, yeah. I've paid for six weeks and this and yeah, yeah. Um, but you know, there there's sometimes, and and I can say this from experience, there's there might be other things going on or another reason why they they feel like they want to quit. Yeah. Um, you know, are they tired? Um, are they feeling overwhelmed? Um, have they had a tough class? Yeah, sometimes the week before they've found it a bit of a challenge that they're ready to throw the towel in. Yeah. Is it um something that's been said to them from another child in their class? Yeah. Um, you know, that's just made that I don't want to go back, don't want to go back. So do you know? You know, or it might be that they just genuinely do feel ready to move on and want to try something new or not do anything at all. Um, but because sometimes it isn't about just quitting class, um, it's about needing a little break or a reset or a you know or a change. Um and I think that's then a very different conversation that you end up having with with your child and with a dance teacher as well. Yeah, don't just ghost us. Yeah, don't just go. Yeah, absolutely. You know, it might be that it they might have outgrown the style that they're doing, and that they might have come to the end of, like, you know, I'm not sure, I'm not really enjoying it anymore. We don't only offer one style of dance. Maybe it's that they want to try something new here. Um, but anyway, yeah, so I just think, you know, at the end of the day, um our roles as parents isn't to push motivation, it's to kind of protect their love, certainly for here, for dance, um, and or any, you know, anything that they do as an interest that we should be protecting their love for that interest and making sure have they definitely fallen out of love with it, or is it just a rough patch? Yeah. I think I'm gonna wrap up today's podcast with a final thought of the day. We need a jingle. Final thought of the day. Um so my final thought of the day is when children truly love what they do, the motivation follows. I'm gonna say that again for the people at the back. Amen, sister. When children truly love what they do, motivation follows. Absolutely. Now, before we wrap up all together, yes, today's episode has got the official first guess that sound. Oh my god. Now we need to we need to ring down that we're gonna guess. Guess the sound. Can you guess guess the sound? Right. Are you ready? I work ready. We'll work on that. We'll get that better for you. Get close to the microphone. Miss Bella's got today's guess the sound. If you think you know what this sound is, you can actually put it in the comments on uh podcast or Spotify. Are you ready? Ready? Let's go. Oh are you gonna do it again? Do you want me to do it again? Do it do it again just in case somebody has to rewind the pod. Okay, gonna go. Oh, I think that's good. There you go, people. Start sending in your guesses. Um, as always, thank you so much for listening to Dan's talks. If this episode um has resonated with you, um share it with another Dan's parent who you you know who might just need to hear it as well. Um, and we'll see you next time. Bye.