The Power of Words :When Pain Starts Speaking 🦋🤍

Words spoken from wounded places carry weight.

In today’s episode, we unpack the story of Rachel — the woman who cried, “Give me children or I die,” and the deeper lesson about pain, identity, desperation, and the power of our words.

Sometimes unhealed pain starts speaking for us.
But God desires to heal not only our hearts… but our language too.

This episode is raw, reflective, biblical, psychological, and deeply personal for anyone navigating grief, disappointment, comparison, or emotional exhaustion.

🎙️ New Episode:
“The Power of Words: When Pain Starts Speaking”

Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Audible & YouTube
Beautiful Me Empowerment Ministry 🦋

#healing #mentalhealth #hope

#prayer #declarations

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Good morning, good morning, good morning, and welcome to the Beautiful Me Empowerment Ministry Podcast. I'm your host, Monique Anderson, certified empowerment coach, licensed therapist, author, and an advocate for healing, wholeness, and identity in Christ. And this is a space where faith meets healing, where we have honest conversations about pain, purpose, identity, emotional restoration, and becoming who God created us to be. And today we're gonna have a very interesting conversation. The topic is the power of words when pain starts speaking. Hallelujah. Heavenly Father, we thank you for being a God who hears us even in our brokenness. Thank you for seeing every silent tear, every hidden wound, every longing we carry in our hearts. And Father, today we ask you to heal not only our hearts, but also our words. Your word declares, your word says actually that life and death, it is in the power of the tongue. And so, God, we ask you to teach us how to speak life even while we are healing. Help us not to partner with despair or fear, hopelessness, or self-destruction through the things we continually declare over ourselves. Let this episode bring revelation, conviction, healing, and freedom in the name of Jesus, amen. So today I want to talk honestly about the power of words. I don't think we fully grasp how powerful words are. Right? Words are not neutral, words shape atmospheres, words shape identity, words shape our belief systems, words shape emotional realities, and words shape futures. And so I always say to my students, be careful of the things that you say, the words that come out of your mouth about yourself, and even the words that come out of your mouth about others. Others, I always say, if you do not have anything good, anything nice to say about someone, then do not say anything. Sometimes the things we repeatedly say, especially in pain, become agreements we never even intended to make. And we find the story of Rachel and a good friend of mine, we were talking yesterday, it was just so such a powerful conversation that we were having, and uh we were talking about Rachel and Jacob, and we know in scripture, Rachel was the woman Jacob deeply loved. He worked 14 years for her, but despite being loved by a man, Rachel carried deep internal pain because she could not conceive, and we find in Genesis 30, verse 1, where Rachel says, Give me children, or else I die. Now, psychologically, we can understand this statement because Rachel was grieving, she felt inadequate, she felt behind, she felt ashamed in comparison to other women. Her identity became attached to what she lacked. And this is what pain does sometimes. Pain starts talking, and so when pain starts talking, it suddenly moves from I'm hurting to my life is over, it moves from I experience rejection to nobody will ever love me. It moves from I made a mistake to I ruin everything. Pain has a way of turning temporary emotions into permanent declarations, and what is powerful and heartbreaking in this story is that years later, Rachel finally gave birth again while traveling, but during childbirth, she dies. I want that to sit in your spirit for a little while, and I want you to really think about the words that are coming out of your mouth when you are going through painful seasons. We are all going through different seasons, and life is filled with seasons, and so very often you may hear me speak about different seasons in the podcast, and just how to navigate these seasons because it is so important that we know how to navigate these seasons in our lives because there are gonna be seasons when we're going to be so hurt and so broken, so lost and so confused. There are going to be seasons when we're grieving, there are going to be seasons, yes, when we experience great joy, there are going to be seasons of betrayal and rejection and hopelessness and helplessness, and it is important that we recognize these seasons and not only recognize these seasons but know how to move in these seasons. Because when we are going through seasons of healing, for example, or let me say seasons of brokenness, when we are in those painful seasons, then our words, the thing that comes out of our mouth, it carries weight. And when we when we when we speak negatively in those seasons from that pain of hurt, then we can even cause some seasons to to to um the season may extend for a a lot longer than we intended it or to to to last. So, say for example, um you're going through a season of brokenness, a relationship ended, and you start questioning your worth, like I am not good enough, I will never have um a good relationship, or my relationships don't last, and we start putting those seeds in the soil, and what starts to happen is it starts to affect our self-esteem. We we go into depression, there is anxiety, and you find that you find you you're in a place and in a state mentally that is going to take you some time to get out of that space, and so I'm in a season, and yesterday, as I sat with my friend, and I was just speaking to him about just the things that I'm experiencing in this moment, you know. The Bible tells us about hope deferred, her hope deferred, it makes the heart ponder, it causes you to feel a sense of hopelessness, and you start um questioning your values, you start questioning your worth. But these are the moments that it is so important that we are speaking life again. The scripture tells us that life and death is in the power of the tongue, and we have to be so careful about the seeds that we sow in our painful seasons. Hallelujah! So we see where Rachel she said, God, give me children, or else I die, and later we find that Rachel finally gives birth again, so she's had more than one. Um kids, and while traveling, she died during childbirth. The very woman who once cried, give me children, or I die, eventually died giving birth. My God, this does not mean every painful statement becomes a literal prophecy, exactly as spoken. This is not about superstition or even fair-based theology, but scripture does reveal that our words matter. Our words matter because they reveal what is happening inside the soul. Unhealed pain eventually speaks, and if we're not careful, wounded places within us begin partnering with hopelessness, fear, shame, bitterness, comparison, and despair. The Bible tells us God created the world through words, He said, Let there be light. Jesus called, Jesus is called the Word. Words throughout scripture are connected to authority, agreement, blessing, covenant, and identity. So when we continually speak death over ourselves, like I'll never heal, I'll always be alone, I'm too damaged, I'm not enough, nothing good ever happens to me. We slowly begin building emotional strongholds around those beliefs, and psychologically, this is connected to cognitive reinforcement. So the brain listens to repetition. What you repeatedly speak, your mind begins to internalize, and what your mind begins to internalize, your emotions begin to embody. What your emotions embody eventually shapes your behavior, expectations, and relationships, and this is why some people are physically alive but emotionally living under the weight of words spoken over themselves years ago. Sometimes it is words from parents, sometimes it is words from ex-partners, it's words from church hurt, it's words from trauma, it's words from failure, and eventually those external voices they become internal narrative. But there's a way we can flip the script, and I want you to remember that the Bible tells us that the the the devil he is out there like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. And one of the ways that he he devours us is through spoken words. He knows our weakness, you know, and so he is right there at your door, just just waiting for you to just say a word, and it is not just about you now, it is what we say about our children, it is what we say about ministries, and it is also what we say about others. Some of the things that we are experiencing sometimes, as I said before, it is what people have said. I always say people don't have to litter physically hurt you, like you know, persons are aware of um demonic forces and witchcraft and that sort of stuff. We don't persons have to don't have to physically visit these places and and and and do things to you, they can hurt you by just speaking death over you, the words that they speak, because it only takes for them to repeat it a couple times before it starts bringing forth fruit, and that is why we declare the word of the Lord over ourselves, we declare the word of the Lord over our mind, we declare the word of the Lord over our businesses, we declare the word of the Lord over our relationships, we declare the word of the Lord over our job, over our finances, over our children, over our family, over our health, every single area of our lives, we declare the word of God because, like I said, at the end of the day, the external voices they become internal narratives, but there's hope, there's good news. God can heal our language by healing our heart, because the issue is not just what comes out of our mouth, the issue is what pain has convinced your heart to believe. Jesus said, Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. So if fear constantly speaks, there may be unhealed fear in the heart. If hopelessness constantly speaks, there may be unresolved grief in the heart. If hatred constantly speaks, there may be wounds around identity in the heart, and that is why healing matters spiritually and psychologically. Healing is not pretending pain does not exist, healing is learning how not to let pain become your identity. Rachel's story teaches us something that is so powerful. You can be loved deeply and still wounded internally, you can be chosen and still struggling emotionally, you can have faith and still battle comparison, grief, and desperation. And many of us have moments where pain spoke louder than wisdom. But God is merciful, He does not discard us because we spoke broken from broken places, He heals us, He restores us, He teaches us how to speak life again. And so today I want to encourage you, be careful what you repeatedly declare over your life in moments of pain. Feel your emotions, cry honestly, process the grief. If you need to go to therapy, go to therapy, pray, journal, seek wise counsel, but do not build a home inside hopelessness. Your current pain is not your permanent identity. And yesterday I sat with God and I said to God, I said, God, I love you, I appreciate you with all my heart. But this is how I am feeling, and I'm asking you to allow me to have this moment so that I can feel these emotions, and I cried, and I processed the grief, and I sat with my friend because it is important to seek wise counselor. I sat with my friend and we prayed through it and cried through it, and I journaled because life happens. Right? I I told God, I said, God, if I'm being honest, even in that moment, I said, God, I honestly don't even want to hear no scripture. I don't even, I was, I'm honest, and this and and I love my relationship with God. And I'm encouraging you to develop a relationship with God. And I told God exactly how I was feeling. I said, I don't want to hear any scripture, I don't want to hear any gospel music, I don't want to hear no affirmation, I don't want to hear no motivational quote. Uh that was where I was at yesterday morning, and I told God I was honest with him, and God is just so amazing. God loves us, he's intentional as it relates to everything that concerns us because I was so honest with God, and I allow myself to feel and to process all of the emotions, and it was not in a negative way either. I was just honest with God about where I was in that moment. And the Bible tells us that even Jesus wept. Jesus wept because the weight of purpose is heavy, right? And in that moment, When Jesus realized the weight, and I imagine that as he realized the weight of his purpose, he thought about the fact that he thought about all the things that he went through, all the rejection, the brokenness that he experienced. Because here I am, I'm here for these people, and they've rejected me. The very same people that I came in this world to save. I love them so much. Is the very same persons that are turning around and crucifying me. And I still have to love them, I still have to forgive. And I believe that when he oh the weight of all of what he was carrying in that moment, he even went as far. So he had an honest conversation with his father. He said, God, if it is your will, remove this cup. But at the end of the day, he also said, But nevertheless, not my will, but yours be done. And he wept. And so yesterday morning, I was in that space, and I was honest with God. I cried. I sought wise counsel, and God met me. God will meet you right where you are. There's this song that says, Jesus, um, the song, the title of the song is The Friend of a Wounded Heart. Jesus meets you right where you are in that place of brokenness and what and hopelessness and rejection. Uh, but that is not your pain, is not your identity. So even as you go through those moments, yes, process the pain, but watch your words, be mindful of your words. At the end of the day, still put your hand on your head and declare that I have the mind of Christ. Go to the scripture and and find scriptures that speak life. Still, even though you feel hopeless, still speak life over yourself. Go to the scripture. I am blessed in the city, I am blessed in the gates, I am blessed in my going out, I am blessed in my coming in. Um I am a lender and not a borrower, I'm the head and not the tail. I am royalty. Speak life. Ask the Lord to help you to speak life. But like I said yesterday, I processed it, and God met me. I was honest with God and He met me. And probably two hours or so within my day, a woman of God called me. I have not heard from this woman of God in over a year or more. And she called me, and I got she said, Woman of God, she's oh my god, I God showed up and I give God thanks for her obedience, and then shortly afterwards, another woman she messaged me and she said, I feel led to pray for you. And I was like, Let me tell you something, man. Just remember that you are not alone. Do not allow your pain to define you, do not allow your pain to block you from your purpose. Again, I'm going to say it: do not build a home inside hopelessness. If God is for you, then who can be against you? In Joseph's story, he said the very thing that the enemy meant for evil, God has turned it for good. He sees you, he hears you, he understands you, he knows you, and he has still said in Jeremiah, uh, in Jeremiah, he said, I called you. He said, Before I knew you, I called you, I chose you. So even if man did not choose you, God said, I chose you, I called you, I appointed you as prophet of a nation. I don't think we understand the weight of those words that God has spoken over your life. Like those are words that are enough to have you getting up even today and jumping and dancing. That man may have rejected you, but God said, I chose you, I called you. He said that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Oh my god. And so today, I feel my help coming in this moment. Hallelujah! You are not too broken to heal, you are not too far gone to recover, and you are not disqualified because of your emotional struggle, and even now, God is teaching you how to speak life again. Hallelujah, Father, heal every wounded place within us that has partnered with hopelessness and fear and shame and despair. Forgive us for the ways we have spoken death over ourselves from a place of pain, and teach us how to speak life, truth, grace, and hope again. Restore broken identities, heal wounded hearts, break negative agreements formed through trauma and disappointment. Let your truth become louder than our fear, and remind us that even when pain has spoken loudly, your mercy still speaks louder in Jesus' name. Amen. I want to thank you for joining me for today's episode of the Beautiful Me Empowerment Ministry Podcast. And just remember your healing matters, your voice matters, and your words carry power. Speak life over yourself, even while you heal. God bless you.