A New Thought est. 1966

Sixty years of wisdom isn’t just a milestone—it’s a living testimony. In this episode, DuBose sits down with her mom, Su Su, to celebrate six decades of life, love, faith, and the quiet lessons God has written into every chapter of her story.

Together, they reflect on the moments that shaped her—both the joyful and the challenging—and how each season carried its own divine purpose. With warmth, laughter, and a few tender tears, this conversation honors the strength it took to keep going, the grace it took to keep believing, and the faith that grew deeper with time.

It's never too late to grow. And it's never too late to believe God at His word. Every year carries something sacred worth celebrating. But there is something extra special about this one. Here's to 60!

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:04

I was totally at the mercy of this world. And in the familiar, it's comfortable.

SPEAKER_03 0:19

And I'm so excited because I think there's things that are just getting stupid.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

I can do a lot of things that look good that people believe that God wouldn't.

SPEAKER_03 0:33

If a little quirky and a little weird means a lot of freedom and hell shakes when you wake up in the morning, I'm going for that all day.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Stay impeachable. Be the one to consider.

SPEAKER_03 0:46

Hello, welcome to the Something to Consider podcast. We're doing something a little different this month. My sweet mom is turning 60, and she is the inspiration behind a new thought company and the reason why we have the Something to Consider podcast. So uh she's 60 on the 30th. So we figured we would do a little bit of a conversation, a little bit of a QA, let you guys get to know her and hear more about our life and the reasons. I'm so thankful that she's my sweet mama.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Hey.

SPEAKER_03 1:17

Hi. Are we starting?

SPEAKER_00 1:18

Did she hear that? We are gonna start.

SPEAKER_03 1:20

She's been started.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Oh, snack.

SPEAKER_03 1:22

We're gonna have some fun little bit.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

She's just gonna have to wade through all of it.

SPEAKER_03 1:25

It's alright. She's paying attention. She's brilliant. We'll be alright. Okay. So happy birthday.

SPEAKER_02 1:32

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:32

You're turning 50. That's right. Happy birthday. And holding. 50 and holding. Yeah. Oh man. Okay. So when we were kids, you would tell us to think about what we were thinking about. That's right. That's right. So a new thought co came from think about what you're thinking about. And then the something to consider podcast directly tied to a new thought co. So you're the inspiration. Ladies and gentlemen, there's cheering and clapping in the back. Woo! Um, but it kind of felt appropriate because you're gonna be 60. So let's talk about you. Okay. All right.

SPEAKER_00 2:14

So tell the people, tell the people who you are. What's your name? I'm Susan Ratchford. How old are you? 59.

SPEAKER_01 2:22

When's your birthday?

SPEAKER_00 2:24

And what time were you born? Ooh. That's a good one. April 30th. I'm not sure the time. I think it was right after midnight.

SPEAKER_03 2:32

I think your mom said it was like 12:01. I think you barely sneaked into the 30th. Let's talk about the last 10 years. There's a lot here worth honoring because a lot of people will not put their heads down in the sand, but it's often easier to just stick with what you know and just keep going. I guess.

SPEAKER_00 2:53

Yeah, well, I think part of it is because it's familiar. And in the familiar, it's comfortable. And when you're comfortable, you feel like you know, everything's good, and everybody that's finally comfortable has had storms come up where their boats have been robbed. So it's easy to just cruise on and not step out into anything because everything's fine. You're content, you just stay put. All is well. And because life will happen to everybody, even if you're trying to stay on course, stay comfortable, but everybody likes what's familiar and safe. And you have a saying that I've tried to memorize that I think is excellent.

SPEAKER_03 3:38

It's that people will stay in a familiar hell instead of trading it for an unfamiliar heaven. And so if you're comfortable and you know what you have to manage and you know the energy it takes, and you know you know the details behind it, as a human being, it's so much easier to stay in what's familiar, yes, even if you're curious about something else.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

I think fear is a part of like if you were to consider the new thought, it makes you feel like you've opened a door to something evil or bad or woo, and I don't want to do that. You know, I like where I am, I like what's going on, and we've also, and this just happens in life, a herd mentality. We get into a church with 50 people, 5,000 people, and we all look a lot alike, sound alike, and there's comfort in that. And I understand that, but the problem is we're missing so many things in life playing it safe.

SPEAKER_03 4:44

And to piggyback off your point, if people have a new thought, part of that is they need to have a safe place to be able to work through it. And a lot of times we've demonized people for considering something that to us might feel like it's outside a box. There's certainly things that are outside a box, and there's certainly a framework. But half of the time it seems like people get themselves into trouble because in order to be able to consider something different, they have to go to the extreme. And then people are trying to swing them the other way. So that pendulum has to swing far left or far right to counterbalance instead of just creating a space where we can have a conversation and folks can consider something and work through it in real time in a healthy way instead of having to defend on such an extreme line, one way or the other.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 5:38

All right, so then for you, let's talk about this. What is one massive thing that changed for you and your belief system in the last 10 years?

SPEAKER_00 5:45

Yeah, there have been several. I think part of what enabled me before I answered that directly is that I I and I'm not sure, but I really it's a bold statement, but I believe that every person has inside of them just a hunger for the knowledge of the intimacy of God. Sometimes that hunger is just for something more. So when you step outside of your group, like I'll tell you a very interesting story that happened to me because I grew up my whole life episcopal in an episcopal church, loved it, only knew it. And then through a season of different things, I went to a Bible study that just sounded very different from some of the things I'd learned. It wasn't a different theology, but just teachings were different. There were parts of scripture that I had never heard before because I didn't read the Bible on my own on the regular. So I remember taking the step to leave the Episcopal Church. I was married young and joined a different denomination, still in the mainstream. And I went to Easter Sunday, and it must have been the first Easter that I'd ever been outside of my church that I had grown up with. And instead of peace and joy, I was, I remember leaving feeling fearful, unsettled. It was just like you'd done something wrong almost, or you were missing out on something, you were supposed to be a part of it. Yeah, it was a whole nother way of hearing the gospel, and instead of it bringing life because I had been somewhere, which is not against the Episcopal Church, because there's beautiful things in that too, and God's there also. It's just where I was, it flipped me. Yeah and I had to wrestle for a few days. Now, mind you, I'm probably all of 22, 23 years old, but it was a major, major encounter with more truth in a different way. And because I had a problem with fear, it came in the form of fear. It was it was a tremendous battle. And here I go, but I didn't know I was born into war. I thought it was skipped to the loo, my darling. I thought Jesus settles everything, everything's great, I'm a believer, you know, and nobody said, hey, there's really a heaven, there's really a hell, there's really a God, and there's really an enemy. And if I had known I was born into war, if I had known more about faith than fear, if I had the tools to fight the good fight of faith, I would have been able to stand better. I would have had people around me in the body of Christ, but nobody knew how to help me. And I was, I was, I felt very alone. It was kind of the beginning of a journey in my life. But I I distinctly remember, and it was, it was um, for me, it was shocking. Yeah, it was scary, and nobody knew what was going on, and um it was part of the the journey because I was always very sensitive to the spiritual things in life. Probably maybe more than some, maybe not. I don't know. I just know that I was.

SPEAKER_03 9:28

Do you think if you had known earlier or had known faster is not the right word? Yeah, if you had known earlier that you were born into a world at war. Yes. And there really there really was a part that we as humans were called to participate in, it would have given clarity for the things that probably felt kind of ooga beluga at the beginning. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:50

And I wouldn't have felt so much like a victim and so vulnerable and so alone. I think if I had not just done the Jesus thing with the culture I was a part of, I mean, Jesus saved me. I mean, there's no doubt my salvation that night at 15 or 16, um, no doubt at all. But it was a process of continuing a journey that God had me on. But if it's like, if you want to get into identity, if I had known who I was in Christ and all that he did for me, not theoretically, but intimately, personally took ownership of it, if I knew that I had authority, that I had authority, I think as a child of God and so young, I felt vulnerable. I felt like I had no power, no right. Um, and I was totally at the mercy of this world and whatever came my way. Yep, I was totally at the mercy of the world. I I don't know how else to describe that.

SPEAKER_03 10:55

No, that's that's very well said. So as a kid, I had so much going on, it was just so sick. And there was a part of it that had to justify now, and there was language around it, like God had allowed it, and there was something about it that would be glorifying. Now I would say that language has changed to if God is only ever good and only good, and the enemy is only ever evil, and that's how he is in operation, then God would be with me in suffering, and he and I in partnership are gonna work to get to the other side of that because good is gonna win and God is bigger versus I, you know, I'm at the mercy of the world and everything going on around me. It's a different way to fight, it's a different way to walk something out.

SPEAKER_00 11:41

Absolutely. And you being bone of my bone, I understood the fear because I did not really understand that fear was a lack, was the opposite of faith. And I didn't realize in my Christian walk how important faith was. And the thing that is so wild is the deception of like thinking you're somewhere you're not, thinking you're in faith, thinking that you and God, that you can quote a ton of scriptures and know a lot of things, made me believe that I was somewhere I wasn't. And the time in my life that I remember distinctly getting more honest with myself because it's like nobody intentionally wants to deceive themselves. No, absolutely not. No, nobody. And so I remember in service, in a church service, um, the minister asked, Is God enough? And I remember walking away and talking to God about it, and I said, I know the right answer is you are enough. But the truth is you are not enough for me. And I know that's on me and not you. I'm broken somewhere and I need help because you are not enough. Just like the time with the book about so long insecurity with Beth Moore. I was like, Yeah, that's not me. This isn't the season for me with that book. I have plenty of other things. See, I'm smart enough in the Christian language to say, to sound humble. I've got plenty of other things.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got other stuff going on, but it's carrying it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

But that's not it. Only six months later, to call my friend and said, Oh my gosh, that is so me. I should have gone in there and taken and done that with you. I mean, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 13:43

That's funny.

SPEAKER_00 13:45

I really don't think I am. I think we're good. Yeah, I got other stuff though. Of course, some other issues.

SPEAKER_03 13:51

I'm gonna pull some humility in there, but not in security. I've got that one down. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

That is funny. Right and slash wrong. And that's the whole point. It's like it was such a freeing thing to finally go, God, only you know really where I am. I think I'm this, that, and the other, but I'm asking you to help me. And that started opening doors to being aware of the sovereignty of God, how good he is. And that bothers people because they love his sovereignty. So, in the whole compact of him being sovereign, which is absolutely the truth, God is sovereign, he's sovereign over his word to perform it. There are beautiful things about God's sovereignty. However, even the Lord's prayer is thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. So his will is not being done on the earth. And part of the problem is people are giving God the um credit for the junk when it's really the enemy. And I believe if we knew our authority, knew who we were, um, felt comfortable in that, understood the love affair that we can have with God, that it's like, and it's a love that is like no other. And it's like if we lived out of that, we as his children have the authority here on earth to deal with things. I had been begging God, I had been begging God as a teenager to help me, this, that, and the other. And it's like, if I had known to answer your question, I would have walked in confidence with God. I would have walked in my identity and my relationship with him. When I sinned and asked for forgiveness, I'd hop right back on that path and not have to go back groveling and feeling like a worm. I could move right back over in that position and keep walking with him because he delights in me and he delights in his children. And it's like I don't have to repeat that. I don't have to go back and pull that sin into my tomorrow. It's over.

SPEAKER_03 15:56

Yep. You don't have to pay penance, I don't owe restitution on it. Like, and that's also something else I have found to be interesting with the Lord, too. So the restitution piece, this is what I've learned with the Lord. If there's guilt, shame, or condemnation in it, it's not him. It's not his voice, it's not how he talks, it's not how he sounds. There are things he'll ask me to do as part of a process because he wants me free. And so that can look like some level of restitution or restoration, depending on what parts or what the situation is at hand. But the biggest differences that I have learned, and you have been instrumental in this, is I grew up with if I was guilty, my conscience was pricked. And there is an element of that of being sensitive to the Lord, but if there's guilt, condemnation, and shame, the Bible's pretty clear that comes from one voice, and that's one enemy. That's not the Lord's not going to be over here hitting you over the head. He wants you to come to him because there's a sensitivity and you're aware of his presence, his love, and his his willingness to help.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

Right.

SPEAKER_03 16:59

But if you've got something else that's making you feel like there's guilt, shame, and condemnation, and you want to put your head down, I mean, Psalms says he's the lifter of our heads in the middle of the mess, in the middle of the war, in the middle of whatever it is that's happening around us, the Bible says he's the one that tilts our chin up and lifts our heads up.

SPEAKER_00 17:17

Yeah. Truly, we have one accuser. And one, he's the accuser of the brethren. And the thing, even I was reading in the scriptures about the man that was sent out of the church. It was for his soul's sake. It was to bring him back in because he was so far in sin and he wasn't listening to people. It's like it's not for judgment, it's not for conversation, it's not to gather and talk about somebody in prayer. It is for him coming back into the fold. It's so much bigger than we know to be able to walk in humility, to really love people well. And I just feel like God has been so misunderstood, at least by me. I misunderstood the love of God. And to be able to build my life truly on the rock and to have a well that runs deep with the Holy Spirit is so life-giving because it's not just the word of God that I can quote. It's actually become a part of me. It's actually where I can draw strength from because God is his word. And so part of that is I realize how much more time I'm listening to teachings, how much more time I'm in the word. It's not a Sunday thing. And for a long time, it was like maybe a Bible study, maybe not, and Sunday. And when it's a relationship, it's just so much more than that.

SPEAKER_03 18:47

Just daily.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_03 18:49

It's an invitation into every day.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

And when I was a young mom, I remember saying, God, I think about you in the morning and I think about you when I lay my head down at night, but I just can't seem to grab a hold of you throughout the day. And you know, it's true, his mercies are new every day, and it's just part of the journey and the relationship and the season of life you're in. And but staying teachable, being willing to consider a new thought is so important because God wants to take us as his children to deeper places within him to learn about him, and you've got to be willing to go, hey, I'm I can add to what I think, or I need to throw something out completely and put something brand new in.

SPEAKER_03 19:34

So our pastor says that he doesn't have to talk God into something that was God's idea to begin with. One of the things that I believe I've learned watching you, us having conversations, you know, the the church I grew up in had a lot of what people would say really good teachers, and they would say had really sound theology.

SPEAKER_01 19:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 20:00

And not that this hasn't happened, and not that this doesn't happen, I have never watched someone's life change and flip on its head because somebody argued their theology point better than someone else. Like I and maybe, maybe somebody somewhere has, and there's been this moment where they're like, My God, you argued such a phenomenal point with your theology, and now I've gone from Calvinism to blow. And it and for me, the thing that changed my life was a head-on collision with the love of a living God who flipped everything that I thought I knew, and then I had to become so thankful that I was so wrong with everything that I thought I knew. And I was willing to get uncomfortable because this makes a lot of people uncomfortable. And you start getting into these conversations, and people will kind of look at you like you've got ten heads. And I'm not bashing theology. There's a reason we have it, there's a reason it's important, but we've managed to miss God a lot of times in the thing that's about him. So we'll talk about him without actually knowing him. We have a God without having a Lord. So I can tell you a lot about God, but as soon as God tells me something that makes me kind of uncomfortable, I'm not going to submit to it. I'm going to go back to my head to excuse it based off of the theology or what fits into my framework and what I want to have happen. What I've watched you do in the last 10 years in your 50s is be willing to get uncomfortable, to do the hard that feels almost impossible thing. And I have watched it save your life. And I know for a fact it saved my life. And then I watched that trickle down into other people that I really cared about. And I watched, I watched the real God. And the Bible says it. It's his loving kindness that draws people to himself. And there is something about that invitation that has changed the way I looked and saw God. Because I had a schizophrenic God. I had a God that was good one day and mean the next. I had a God that could punish me for things. That I failed or I missed him in. I have a friend who says, you know, the sovereignty of God was for him was played out in a way where whatever was going to happen was already going to happen. So why would he try to have any part in something if something was already predestined?

SPEAKER_00 22:16

Absolutely. But what's difficult with that is that there's the journey along the way where we're joint heirs and we're co-laborers with Jesus Christ. And so the point of being a co-laborer is you get to do things together. Absolutely the truth.

SPEAKER_03 22:35

I mean, absolutely the truth. And that's for me and for him and for other people who are learning something a new way. It's Jesus came in and said, You're the authority on earth.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

Right.

SPEAKER_03 22:45

He died, so you have everything you need. Going back to what you said earlier, it's he has one will. The Lord has one will is that earth reflects heaven and heaven reflects earth. And the Bible says you're the bearer that walks on the earth and works with heaven to bring heaven to earth.

SPEAKER_00 23:01

Right. He has one will and one vision for it. The thing that's so great is he said he's given you everything for life and godliness now. He talked about having the abundant life now. And Psalm 23 is beautiful, but I don't want it read at my funeral. I need it now. Now while I'm here on this earth. There's just so much that I think God's people are missing out on. The other thing is so amazing is that Jesus is waiting for us to put the enemy under his feet, under the footstool. We're the authority on the earth. God is the powerhouse. I mean, it's never, I mean, I can do a lot of things in the name of God without God. Absolutely. I can do a lot of things that look good that people approve of that God wouldn't. And it's like just because it's good doesn't mean I should. And it's like the the thing I'm loving is I'm training myself to inquire of God more and more. Father, this person needs money. I'd like to give it. He knows if that person's gonna OD or go get a hamburger. So instead of being a do-gutter, I'm stepping back. Even in the wilderness, the enemy was trying to get Jesus to do things. And Jesus knew not to do them. But the thing too is that if we do things that are apart from checking in with the Lord, they're not good, even if it looks harmless. And a lot of times, and this is difficult to admit, but there was a time, probably in my 40s, because God started doing things in my life before I hit 50 for some of the changes to take place. He had to remove certain things out of my life so I could go with him. He had a plan that I was slowly, graciously, he was leading me to be able to follow. And I remember thinking about a dear friend and I wanted to call her. And what what's a phone call? What's the big deal of a phone call? And I heard in my spirit, why are you calling her? And I went to myself back I'm like to check on her. And then the Lord went silent. And you went, uh oh. Uh-huh. So it made me sit there and think. I was like, I'm calling to check on her. I want to make sure she's doing all right. I mean, what's a phone call? Yeah. And then when I paused and looked a little deeper, my phone call was not at all about my friend. It was all about me. Is she okay with me? Or is she upset with me? Are we all right? Is she all right? So let me pull out, put out a feeler. Uh-huh. Yeah. But I would never have known the true motive of my heart.

SPEAKER_03 25:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

If God hadn't posed the question, if I hadn't slowed down to listen and then dug a little deeper. So a lot of times the things we do that seem flippant, it's like I am enjoying this life so much. I love turning 60. I love every moment with God. I love every minute of life. I am so thankful for all the lessons. I would not go back, not just to the youth. It's like I'm here because I'm supposed to be here. This is my time and my season, and I'm taking all the lessons and things with me into my tomorrow. Do I still mess up in my tomorrows? Absolutely. But I'm not punished and I'm not in the same place. And I don't allow the enemy to mess with me as much as I used to, because Jesus Christ took my punishment. I don't have to beat myself up. He paid the price for it. If my conscience is tender and something, I'll talk to God, I'll repent, and talk to him about it. And if I need to go to somebody, he'll urge me to do that, and I'll I'll go to somebody and have a conversation if that's necessary. Oh my gosh, it's such a badass.

SPEAKER_03 27:08

Okay, let's do this. I'm gonna go left and then we'll come back right.

SPEAKER_00 27:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 27:11

So you're a mama.

SPEAKER_00 27:12

I am a mama.

SPEAKER_03 27:13

You've got three of us. Yes, I do. You said you always wanted to be a mama.

SPEAKER_00 27:17

I mean, at Halloween at four years old, I'm in a wedding dress. Okay, perfect. Yes, always wanted to be a mama.

SPEAKER_03 27:24

Always wanted to be a mama. Well, I know everybody's partial to theirs, but I am sure grateful you are mine.

SPEAKER_00 27:29

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 27:30

You really have been just and as I've gotten older, it's only gotten sweeter. And you've just become more and more of a badass. And I'm just so grateful that I get to be your kid. I mean, seriously, how blessed and lucky am I? So let's talk about you being a mom.

SPEAKER_00 27:44

All right, let's do it.

SPEAKER_03 27:45

Do you have two or three favorite things or memories that stand out to you about being a mama for the three of us? And we are all so different.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

Yes, that was fun.

SPEAKER_03 27:55

Um started over every time.

SPEAKER_00 27:58

Yeah, I know. Yeah, um, I loved it all. Um, my favorite memory is starting a fire in the fireplace. Getting good place to start it. Yeah, yeah. Okay, thank you. You're hilarious, George. Start that fire in the fireplace. Yeah. Yeah, the fireplace, getting that fire going, putting you girls on the sofa, and then we would read novels. And when you were 18, you wrote in a book called The Little Women. And you said to me, Mom, this was some of my most favorite memories. I cherished the times that we read novels together. Hopefully, it's not too late. We can do it again.

SPEAKER_03 28:39

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 28:40

Which we never ended up doing.

SPEAKER_03 28:42

I know. There was a season and then it was gone.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:44

It was the season. It was the sweetest. And we'd be like, Mom, read one more chapter. I know. And she would read three more chapters. I did. And we'd spend an hour and a half.

SPEAKER_00 28:53

We would all be invested. There was a book called First We Have Coffee. Oh, yes. First We Have Coffee by Margaret Jensen.

SPEAKER_03 29:00

We would read, and we read Little Women, and we read what was it? Laura Ingles Wilder, Little House on the Prairie and Elsie Dinsmore series. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 29:10

Yes. And so I'd like, we don't need to do math and English right now. Let's read a few more chapters. You know?

SPEAKER_03 29:16

Read a story.

SPEAKER_00 29:17

Yeah, read a story. So that was We grew up baking in the kitchen with you.

SPEAKER_03 29:22

Yes, you did. Mm-hmm. You were such a fun mom. I remember, I this is I do remember this. I distinctly remember sounding out my first sentence with you. And I remember you helped me a little bit, but I got all the words in that sentence all by myself. And you squealed and were high-fiving me dancing in the kitchen. Do you remember that?

SPEAKER_00 29:44

Yes, I am a dancing mom.

SPEAKER_03 29:46

You are a dancing mom.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

You were so excited.

SPEAKER_03 29:49

I was so excited. And then you created an accidental little reading monster because I you take me to the library and I'd get a stack of 20 books, which I think was all you could have. And I read it, and I read so much that my eyes started to cross. Do you remember this? I do. Because they weren't strong enough to stay like a normal eye. And I had to go to the eye doctor, and he told me to do pencil push-ups. So I had to focus on the pencil and then pull it into my eye because I read too much. Like, what a nerd you raised. Congratulations. Which parent did I get that from?

SPEAKER_00 30:23

That was so funny. I told your dad, I said, Oh my gosh, Shakespeare's her favorite. We're watching a normal movie. I can't even remember what it was. And DeBose heard a quote, she's like, That's Shakespeare. That was from Othello. And I was being funny, like Othello, who, you know, but it was like in a normal just movie we were watching, and I was like, I was homeschooled and it was delightful.

SPEAKER_03 30:49

You were so fun. You were so fun. There is absolutely a way to do that right, and you were excellent.

SPEAKER_00 30:55

Well, that is so kind of you to say. I tell you now, looking back, I think one of the reasons why it was such a sweet spot all those years, too, is I never wanted to be a teacher, never had any desire to go that route in college. Yeah. But I do believe God has put some kind of teaching ability in me that got to come out when I was with you girls.

SPEAKER_03 31:24

Yeah. Yeah. That was sweet.

SPEAKER_00 31:26

Mary's so fun. We she'll talk about the way I will two-step dance things to help her remember stuff because she was having to memorize so much stuff, you know.

SPEAKER_03 31:38

And um I'm gonna I'm gonna pause because I get to brag on two people in this moment, and I think this is great. So two of my favorite humans, one of them is Susan Ratchford who gave birth to me and is sitting across from me, and the other one is the the middle sibling, and she's fabulous. But she was a shy, timid kid who would stare at her feet, and her little voice would shake in public, and not even public, it could just be another adult standing in front of her, and she just would have a hard time. And mom spent hours and hours and hours coaching her and helping her look up at people and talk to people, and you would talk about the preciousness of others and why people were important to God's heart and why us engaging with people in a certain way demonstrated that, and you would ask her the color of other people's eyes so she would have something to focus on and something to be intentional with and all this stuff. Well, that badass woman now runs a sh a studio out of Charlotte, has several employees, travels all over the United States, engages with strangers all day long, has done partnerships with companies like Madewell and Free People, and her whole her job now is people and strangers and talking to strangers and doing all of this. And you spent so much time and intentionality with her helping her learn how to how to do those things when she was little. And what's wild is I don't think sometimes as a parent you always get to see the translation. Like I'm sure sometimes it's not always linear, like it's a little bit of an ebb and a flow. That is one of the things that stands out to me as an exceptional part of getting to be a parent, but getting to see that now in a 33-year-old woman in Charlotte, North Carolina, who's a fantastic person, but a phenomenal businesswoman. And that main problem that she had as a kid got eradicated because of intentionality and fantastic parenting, and what a cool story. Go, mama, go.

SPEAKER_00 33:44

Well, you do it. That's the other thing that's so sweet because I mean, there is a connection there with God. I mean, it's like, I'm so grateful that I'm a mom. I'm so grateful that I got to homeschool. I mean, the joke was I'm like, okay, it's kindergarten. Surely I can't ruin them. Let's give it a shot. I mean, that was the mindset. Let's just give it a shot. And then we did another year and then another year. And it was so sweet because you three girls are all so beautiful, so uniquely made, different gifts and talents. And God help me work with each one of y'all differently. I may not remember which child doesn't like peanut butter and you know, certain specifics like that. Yeah. I don't like it. But the other things, it's like I look back and all I can do is truly so grateful in my heart to thank him for giving me the insight and the wisdom to do that to help her, you know, and work with her. It was it was so much fun.

SPEAKER_03 34:55

Well, you know, I had a conversation with a guy I work with, and for context, he is my boss's boss's boss. And he and I had a we had a lunch and we were talking through a couple of things, and I was just being honest with him. And he called me maybe two weeks later, and he was like, Where do you get this ability to to talk with people, to help people, to coach people? Because the industry I'm in, I deal with a lot of grown men, and I'm usually the minority in the room. It's usually just me. Maybe there's one other person that's female, and I have to problem solve a lot, and I've got to get them to communicate with me in a way that I can understand what we need to do and what we need to accomplish and whatever else. And usually it's hair on fire, and usually it's a little bit tense. And all I can think about is when I was little and there was something going on, and I didn't know how to articulate what I was feeling, but it mattered, it was important. I had to figure out how to put words to it. You would often put me on a counter so I was eye-level with you, and you would say, honey, basically, I'm gonna validate what you're feeling, it matters. So I you'd say, honey, what you're feeling matters, but I need you to use your words, help me understand what's going on, and then you would walk me through it, and we would figure out we'd get on the same page and we'd get to the other side. I do that with grown men every day of the week. I pick them up and I put them on counters. Yes. No, but I do. It's it's an amazing thing because I there's so many things that I can look at where you are intentional, particularly as a parent, and it has translated into ways now that have been professional for me or have helped me go to the next level because it developed my EQ. It developed the way I saw the world, developed how I saw people, developed my tolerance, my patience, my ability to use words, the understanding of somebody else's emotions, how to get in somebody else's shoes and understand maybe where they're coming from. I mean, there are some amazing parents out there. I I wish that was more of a normal thing, and it's not. So we're just we're here bragging on you because, you know, the last 10 years. But as I've gotten older, that is something I have appreciated about you more and more and more because it's translated, it's a ripple effect. And I know when I was six years old, that was not anywhere in any vicinity of your brain. I know when Mary was four and you were like, honey, what color was this man's eyes? That was you had no idea that she was gonna grow up and run a studio and fly all over the country and do all of these things. You just knew people mattered and that your kid was precious. And if you could teach your precious kid how to see the preciousness in someone else, it would take all I'm like, how fun is this? Woo! Yeah, you can edit that however you want.

SPEAKER_00 37:44

It just felt important. It's really funny because we would your dad and I would sit around and we would look at y'all when you were little, and I was like, you know, they're gonna talk about us when they grow up. You know, they're gonna have you know wine and and appetizers and reminisce about our parenting. And do you remember when mom did this? Do you remember dad? I said, I'm kind of nervous. Well, and I said, We still got some time though, you know, which was great.

SPEAKER_02 38:13

But you did.

SPEAKER_00 38:15

I know. I know I messed up some things too, but I just that's the thing I kept telling myself, and I told y'all, I would ask for forgiveness at times, and I would say, Listen, here's what I love that I know God put you with me, and I'm not gonna do everything right, and I'm gonna make mistakes, and I'm gonna ask you to forgive me. But I as a mom keep going back that God still put you with me. So when he entrusted you to me, he must know something about me that I don't know about myself because it's a huge responsibility. Oh, yeah, it's a huge calling, and I loved it. And I'm I'm so thrilled God put older people in my life that were homeschooling because I'm not sure if I would have done that. Because I told Mark, I said, you know, most people get excited to have children and stuff, but it's like we've got the socialization thing going, and yeah, they get to go away and I get to go have lunch and maybe play tennis and do a little part. And so I kept circling back around. I was like, this has to be God. Yeah. This has to be God because it's on my heart to try. Let's just try.

SPEAKER_03 39:31

Well, and kudos to you because now there's so many resources, there's so much more opportunity for folks that have decided to homeschool. And let's be honest, when you did it, you were weird. Very weird, very weird. But it was not normal. And to be helpful, this also got escalated because we were the family that ate organic and boiled goat's milk on the stove, and I was grinding flaxseed on the side porch to get you flour. I mean, there was there was a lot that was already not normal, and then we just added some quirk to it, which is funny because now, mom, I'm telling you, stuff comes around. Now people are like homeschooled, here's all the resources, and everybody's like, let's do some flaxseed. Like, you know, healthy, you know, whatever. But hey, mama, what tell me some things you think are worth celebrating about 60.

SPEAKER_00 40:13

Let's hear it. Part of me wants to say two things. It's just a number, and it's another birthday. There's a part of that that's just normal. Just like when you turn four, the next time is gonna be five. When you turn 20, the next one's gonna be 21. I think the thing that's you're adorable. Thank you. I think what is nice about a decade is that I've put an emphasis on 60 with the Lord between the two of us. So I'm talking to him about things. I'm living an expectation of some things and out of my relationship with the Lord. And he knows what the last 10 years were like where nobody else has a clue. I get to do the next 10 with them, you know, and it's one day at a time. But I'm living an expectation, and I'm I'm excited if I knew that tomorrow was my last day, or next month was my last month, what would I do differently? And the beautiful thing is there's nothing I would do differently. I have enjoyed the ride. It's not like I'm gonna wish I had traveled more. The one little thing has been to pick French back up, foreign language. But there's just it's a real contentment. I'm real thankful and I love each day. And when people say a difference a day makes, it there's really truth in the difference a day makes. I think what's wonderful with me is that I'm actually living on and out of the word of God in that. And so the thing I love about tomorrow is Lord, what are you gonna teach me and show me? What revelation is gonna drop? What do we get to do tomorrow for somebody? What's on your heartbeat? If anybody's out there wondering if there's more to this religious thing, if there's more to church, if there's more to God of the universe, unequivocally, yes, so much more.

SPEAKER_03 42:28

So much more.

SPEAKER_00 42:29

So much more. And the thing that's so beautiful about a perfect good father is he says, No good thing do I withhold. Even wisdom. We can ask for it. James tells us he'll give it generously, liberally, just ask.

SPEAKER_03 42:44

And if no, I was gonna say, do you know one of my favorite things that you said in the last 10 years, and still makes me laugh, and I have told friends this, I've told you this. But you said that when the Bible says to cast your cares. Oh, that was one. You were like, I thought that was a suggestion. I thought that was a nice thought.

SPEAKER_00 43:02

I thought that was like a oh, what a beautiful word picture. Cast your care upon me, for I care for you. That is my joke with God. I'm like, goodness gracious, Father, did I think all that time it was just a suggestion and a nice pie in the sky thought? Yeah, do you know this child of God can actually live out of that? Do we know as God's children, that when you really cast that care and let it go, the freedom you have, because I mean, in life, it's like, okay, do I really think this situation is better in my hands to go around the merry-go-round in my head and me try to deal with it or give it to the creator of the universe who speaks and things happen.

SPEAKER_03 43:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:47

I'm like, but but the thing is is that it can't just be lip service.

SPEAKER_03 43:52

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 43:53

Do you know what I'm saying? You've got to live out of it. It's like if he's really God and you're really trusting him and you're gonna cast that care. Yeah. Toss it. Sarinar. The other thing, and this is crazy. The thing that I realized more than anything was that not every thought that I have is my own. Right. And you're laughing because, of course, that's what we're talking about. The thing is, is that in Mrs. Doubtfire, the funny thing is drive by fruiting. That's what I call it. When the devil does a flyby and puts in a power suggestion, he will give you a thought that makes you uncomfortable to try to make you make that phone call. Drive by somebody's house. Get insecure. Feel fear because he wants you to bite on that thought, meditate on it because it's out here. But the moment you bring it in and put action to it, you have a thought that brings a feeling. You put an action to it. Now you've got what the scripture calls a stronghold.

SPEAKER_03 44:56

Yep. And you did it to yourself based off a suggestion of a thought that was fruiting. Of a fruiting. Drive by fruiting. Of a thought that wasn't yours.

SPEAKER_00 45:04

Beautiful thing. I can say, hey, that's not my thought. I'm not acting on it. That's not true. And I can say something else to replace it and do something different. Yes, you can. So cast the care. It's so worth it. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 45:18

I have watched God change your life in the last decade and it has absolutely transformed mine. Like I said earlier, too, I've watched that trickle down to friends. I've watched people get more and more free. And I've watched God in his timing and gifts and operation do a whole new thing. From how I grew up to where you were willing to go with the Lord to where we are today is a lot worth celebrating. It is something it's so much. And you you braved you braved it. You you did. And it came from the enemy, it came from friendly fire, it came from people who are supposed to be safe. It came from family. It came from me. It came from everybody who didn't understand that God was doing a new thing with you. I have never been so grateful to have been so wrong. And I am so thankful that what God has done with your life, your whole life, because you've always had a sensitivity and a love towards them, but particularly what you've been willing to walk out in the last decade plus. And I just want you to know that this kid is going to celebrate you for the rest of your life and then some. And I do agree with you that 60 is going to be the best decade yet. Yes. I do agree that God is doing good things. Absolutely the truth. And I'm so excited because I think there are things that are just getting started. I would agree. And as your kid, who also represents this family, if you hadn't done the hard thing, this would not be anywhere near possible. There would be no part of this conversation we'd be able to have today. So happy birthday, Mama. Thank you. I love you.

SPEAKER_00 46:50

I love you.

SPEAKER_03 46:51

I got myself.

SPEAKER_00 46:52

You got yourself. You did. But I have to tell you, the journey was amazing. And I will say this, and I don't know if it needs to go in the podcast or not, but it was the most difficult 10 years of my life that I've ever had. I literally, to not be exaggerating or well, it's not exaggerating, it would be the correct word would be dramatic. There were times where I really thought I might not make it. I didn't know what that would look like. I didn't know if my body would just give out. It was something. But the faithfulness of God, the journey, it's like it's so worth it. It's so worth it. And God gave me a very small community of people that had gone before me themselves and had supported and helped me because I don't know without their love of God, their commitment to Him, their suffering for the kingdom. If I could have done, I can't see getting through. And to see God place these people in my life to help me along the journey, it's he gets all the glory. But here's the thing about life and people you cannot have freedom without a choice. And God's always gonna give us a choice because he wants us to be free. Free to love him, get to choose him or not. And it's I I don't know how to say it because I don't want to belabor the difficulty of it. I want to acknowledge it, but I also want to say I'm so thankful to God for every bit of the squeezing, the crushing, the suffering, the the journey with him, because now I have ownership of a relationship with him and I know things I didn't know before. And when you live in a life in a world that you think is the way it is, is real, and God is real that way, and then you come in and realize, oh my gosh, that was not the God that I thought he was. He's a completely different God. Yeah. I mean, I can't even explain it. It's like, it's like I felt like my world was upside down.

SPEAKER_04 49:24

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 49:24

But actually, my father put it right side of how great is that.

SPEAKER_03 49:29

There's a quote by David Crowder, and he says, I have found I know less as I come to know you more. You are not who I thought you were. Praise the Lord.

SPEAKER_00 49:40

Well said. Well said. I mean, and the humility comes because the more you get to know, the more you realize you don't know. I mean, it's like humble your oh, it's yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:52

The people who are like, I've got this part figured out. I'm like, uh so I will overtrust your hands. That's right. Now we have the concern. Irritageable spirits are teachable. I guess too, as somebody who's been on one side of watching what happens. I had I had two people in my life. One of them made a comment and said, God must be doing something new for your mom. Give her room. And I had another friend say, Hey, remember your parents are human too. Give your mama room to let her hair down. And what I have realized, it changed the way I think I'm a friend for people too, because everybody needs to wrestle and work through and have space. This is not about convincing somebody, this is about standing with the Lord and believing He's coming in to rescue somebody or to give a new thought or whatever it is that He's He's on the move for because it's always for good, it's always for change, it's always for help, and it's never done out of judgment or shame or condemnation. It is always done out of love.

SPEAKER_04 50:56

And it takes time to learn things.

SPEAKER_03 50:58

It does take time to learn.

SPEAKER_04 51:00

It always takes time.

SPEAKER_00 51:02

That's a very good point.

SPEAKER_04 51:08

It is. And I've missed that. I've not got to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_00 51:11

I've missed it too, even out of the process of what I've been through. I'm having to remind myself. And I think the other thing that's very interesting for people and important is that God does speak to us to us, His creation and his children. He talks in the most uh amazing ways. And I want to share two things. One is I'm taking care of a sweet friend's child, children for a period of time. And our oldest is in the back seat, and he goes out of the blue. Now I've got him out of the house. She's had a third baby, and we're riding around in the rain, and we're looking at stuff. And out of this little voice, I think he's five, maybe six, he goes, Susu, Jesus isn't in the sand. And I turn my head to the side and I said, God, you are so funny. You are so funny. You are talking to me through this six-year-old little boy. I hear you. And he goes, Susu, Jesus is in the rock. And I'm like, Yes, honey, I know, I know. So I'm sharing that with people because God will talk to us through billboards, television commercials, children, everything else. And because I do like the beach, and I do like margaritas, I'm sitting. That's my new favorite sentence.

SPEAKER_02 52:33

Because I do like the beach.

SPEAKER_00 52:34

I do, I do, and I do like margaritas. Uh-huh. I see in my mind's eye, me on the beach. I'm in a beautiful chaise off the ground with a cabana over me. Okay. The waves are rolling in. I'm telling y'all, it is perfect, gorgeous, beautiful. I have like a Hawaiian lay around my neck. Never been to Hawaii, but I recognized it. Okay. I have my margarita, and I'm having the most peaceful moment. The breeze is moving everything in my the next image is my head is popping up out in the deep sea with seaweed around my neck, not a lay and no margarita to be found.

SPEAKER_02 53:19

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 53:20

And God said, You to me, you think you are having a margarita, honey, sitting on the beach having the time of your life, but actually you're in the deep sea drowning.

SPEAKER_03 53:31

And I went, I probably would have been like, oh shit. Here we go. Well, he did, because he was on a rescue mission for us. He is in the most unexpected places. Yes, he is. And he is in the most unexpected faces. Yes. And the people I would look at and think must have it all together, excuse the dog, she's asleep. Snoring. Um, but the people that I would look at and assume are in a certain place with the Lord, as I've grown with the Lord, my spirit has taken on a different sensitivity, and I'll go, oh, they're missing him. They're not where they think they are. They look good, they sound good, whatever check boxes you want. And that's never, that's not the Lord's heart. This is not about appearance. I have a friend that I'm looking at right now who said this thing and I loved it so much. But she said, more important than what it looks like is what it is.

SPEAKER_00 54:22

Absolutely the truth.

SPEAKER_03 54:24

And it's it has been so helpful because it doesn't matter how something looks, it matters what's actually going on behind the scenes.

SPEAKER_00 54:30

That's right. So my house was on the sand, and I built it myself. And I didn't fully get to see a picture of it, but I'm sure it wasn't pretty. Can you imagine me building a house on the sand? And God came in and put me on the rock. And he said this to me. He said, Some of these things would not have had to have happened had I been heard. And so you got her. And then he said this to me. He said, Am I a father who gives a child too much or tells a child something to produce failure? That is not my way. Because it felt like too much. I'm gonna die. This is crushing me. But I wanted him above all else, truly. I had to be willing to do whatever it was I needed to do. And so at moments it felt like too much, and he came in because I didn't know the real one. So he's trying. I mean, the very first thing he said is, I'm you who I said the you yeah, literally. It's like so this is who I am because I don't believe you really know me. So I'm introducing myself to you, Susan. I set the universe in place. I can certainly make crooked roads straight, mend broken hearts, set the enemy running and bring light into dark places. Youhoo, that's who I am.

SPEAKER_01 56:06

That's who I am.

SPEAKER_04 56:07

So we're just all good.

SPEAKER_03 56:08

I I will say, let me just go ahead and say this too, for the record.

SPEAKER_04 56:13

That was so good.

SPEAKER_03 56:14

It was so good. It's resonating. It is resonating.

SPEAKER_04 56:17

You were staring me right in my eyeball.

SPEAKER_03 56:18

I'm like, all right, so I'm listening, I promise. I felt that one in my big toes. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 56:24

He's so good. He's so worth it. He's so good. He is and he's fun. He's funny. He's hilarious. He is hilarious. He's a good thing. I mean, we have a sense of humor. We got it from our father.

SPEAKER_03 56:36

The platypus, the giraffe. What were you doing? The platypus and the giraffe. It started there and it kept going. Mom, I'm gonna tell you this too, because I think this is worth mentioning. I have watched you go from somebody that had a lot of anxiety and a lot of fear to someone who is full of faith and has a lot of strength and stays in peace in pretty impossible situations. And I'm not saying that as an absolution or done in perfection, but it is significant. And I've also watched you be willing to do some of the hardest things I've ever gotten to bear witness to. Um and and know that you're gonna get kicked around a little bit and do them anyway. You're one of the bravest people I've ever met in my entire life. You are, yeah, I probably am, but you are. You're one of the bravest people I've ever met in my life. It has been an absolute, it's been an absolute privilege to watch you become more and more free. And you've I've watched you break all of these southern cultural norms as well. It's like you let people do what they need to do, you let them go where they need to go. You don't pull, you don't manipulate. If everybody's at the country club, I don't think you give two flying. Like you, you are living your life with the Lord free and clear, in peace, loving people as he calls, doing what he says to do when he says to do it, because if you go do the good thing, but he's not in it, and it's not the God thing, no one's better for it. No one, no one's better for it. And I have watched you flip a lot of things on its head, and I know that there are probably some folks out there who have looked at you cross-eyed going, this woman's gotten a little bit weird and a little bit quirky. God bless you for all of it. Because if if a little quirky and a little weird means a lot of freedom and hell shakes when you wake up in the morning, I'm going for that all day long. You go, girl.

unknown 58:25

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 58:26

You want to do the next 10 years together? Let's do this again when you're 70.

SPEAKER_00 58:29

That sounds great. That sounds great. That sounds great. Absolutely they are. I'm so grateful. I'm so thankful. I mean, here we go. Here we go. Let's go.

SPEAKER_01 58:40

The beginnings right now. Let's go.

SPEAKER_04 58:58

You guys have been listening to the Something to Consider podcast. We're glad you dropped in. And hopefully, you were able to have a new thought while listening. Here's to every listener being encouraged. Think about what you're thinking about. Because remember, not every thought is yours.