It’s a Wonderful Life?

Today, Andrew has another solo episode where he discusses his fear of animals, the joy of crying and his observations on the components of a beautiful life.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:01

What's up, ladies and gentlemen? Welcome back to another episode of the Eternal Creatures Podcast, the podcast for people who view the world just a little bit different. And today's episode is Alone. Again. Yeah, sorry. Yay guys, it's just me. It's just me once more. Um, I will say though, I'm a lot more confident about this recording than I am than I was the last recording. Why? Because I have upgraded, like I said, I'm not just recording straight into my phone. I mean, I am, but I'm not just recording straight into my phone. I am recording into my thingy that Liz would probably know the name of, but my uh little interface. That's probably what it's called, interface, which is connected to my microphone, which is connected to my headphone, so I can actually hear me. I can hear what y'all are saying. I've tested it out a couple times. And I'm on a new editing platform. So this is kind of sick. I'm super happy about uh just this and how it's uh how it's looking like it's gonna be. I think this is gonna be a fun episode. So okay. Sorry, guys, I'm I'm I'm honestly still a little nervous. I don't love uh I don't love recording by myself. I like recording podcasts, but like I love recording with Luke and Liz. And so I just I just like having a crew and I like having a conversation. For some reason, it's even weirder by myself. So it's okay though. I do have an episode planned. This is gonna be a good time. And um, you guys have given me a lot of really kind feedback on the last episode. So yeah, thank you guys. Thank you. It's so sweet. All right, listen, let's start the show. Today's episode is dedicated to people who are afraid of mundane animals. All right, listen. Um, let me take a sip of C uh C. Let me take a sip of tea for this. Slurp, slump, splurp. All right. All right. Yeah, so uh look, I wish I could say I'm making fun of all of y'all and uh, you know, I just get to sit back and laugh at y'all, but I realize that this is this actually kind of relates to to me. And you know what? I'll be honest, I blame my father, okay? Because my father, my father, I feel bad for my father, though, because he's very open about this. Like he's very open that he just does not trust animals uh whatsoever. And so I just kind of sit back, like whenever we're making fun of him for it, I just kind of sit back and laugh at him like, ha ha uh yeah, no, that's crazy. That's crazy. So scared. Um, as though I'm not also that same person. Listen, it's I I put it this way, okay? I don't, I don't think I'm afraid of animals. I think suburban animals are disrespectful. Okay. Like, I got a list. I got a list here of animals that I'm not uh I don't really mess with too tough. Uh squirrels, we're starting with squirrels. Here's why. I like rabbits. And rabbits, I like rabbits because rabbits know their place, okay? As soon as you walk by a rabbit, rabbits skate into the bush. They know exactly what to do. Squirrels, they don't move quite as quick as rabbits do. And like they they they'll actually like sit there and stare at you. And I don't know if you've been like stared down by a squirrel, but I ain't I ain't playing with that. Now I'm confused. I'm like, oh, wait, he thinks he can take me? Hold on, man. Oh, wait. I I know you hide acorns and crap, but so I've, you know, I've I've I've I'll be honest, I've flinched at a couple squirrels before, and it's uh and squirrel runs away and I just, you know, walk away feeling like, you know what? He's he knows who's boss. That being said, then I catch the fact that I flinched at a squirrel and uh and uh yeah, all that little pride goes away pretty quickly. So squirrels, yeah, I'm not I'm not a huge fan of squirrels. Squirrels are just tree rats who don't seem to know their place. Another animal I'm not too uh not a huge fan of is deer. Deer. I don't like deer. Um I know what you're thinking. Andrew, come on, Bambi, really? It's it's not that deer have never hurt it's not that like deer have really hurt people, but they're a lot bigger than you think. And I I don't like it. I don't like it. I saw some deer the other day walking across the street, and they crossed the road, and when they crossed the road, so did I. I was on the other side of the street looking over at them, just like, uh, you know. But the problem is these deer didn't like just cross the road and go into the forest like most deer do. They like stood right next to the sidewalk and like ate grass. So I now can't pass because I'm a chicken and I'm afraid that as soon as I pass them, the deer are gonna look at me like, oh, wait, you think you just go across this street over here? Wait, get the get get over get over here, get get you. And now they're pummeling me, and then, you know, I'm on the side of the road getting my my tail kicked in by deer, and frickin' John Jacob rides by and takes a picture of me. That's not funny to most of y'all, but to the people who know him, uh, yeah, that's gonna be uh maybe hilarious. And then finally, birds. Birds. Yeah, uh not a huge fan of birds either, I'm not gonna lie. Uh I don't like them in multiple ways, but the least my least favorite ones are geese. I hate geese. I hate geese. I'll be honest. Uh they I'll also cross the road with geese. And geese look at you like, yeah, nah, come over here. And and geese don't peck. Like most birds peck. Like peck, bird, most birds are like weak and sad, and they're made for like, you know, bird seed and they just peck you. But geese like bite, they'll open their whole mouth and bite you. And I've seen too many videos of geese flying down on somebody, jumping on them, and biting the crap out of them. And I'm like, look, man, I'm not here for it. Now, some of you people who know me may be wondering, Andrew, didn't you major in wildlife conservation? Yes, I did. And I'll be very honest with you. Uh, it was on the back of my mind the entire time I was in that organization. Uh, I the whole time I was in the program, even before I like, and I'm being serious about this. My parents don't know this, but I actually was thinking in the back of my mind, I don't know how I'm gonna do a wildlife major. I'm afraid of animals. So it probably explains why I work an office job to this day. Well, not gonna lie, this was a lot funnier when I first thought of it. I lost all the sauce. I don't know what it is, man. Sometimes these dedications are are good, sometimes they're not. It doesn't hit the same when it's just by myself. So I don't know. Maybe I'll keep them with my friends or something like that. I don't know. I enjoyed it more when I was planning it than when I was saying it, but eh, it is what it is. You win some when you lose some. Anyway, this episode is dedicated to you. Uh as you kind of, you know, view the birds and you know, forget it. Screw it. Anyway. Oh! I do enjoy this, guys. Now, I have I'm introducing a new segment, and this is actually a real dedication. And the real reason I'm introducing a real dedication is because my mother, the sweet lady that she is, she didn't get the dedication portion at first, because I would say this episode is dedicated to, and then it was no longer like um like and then I would go into like roasting whoever I'm talking about, and she was like, wait a minute, that wasn't kind. And so I had to explain to her like this is not a real dedication, but I have had people in my life that I do think actually deserve a real dedication. And so this is a segment that I would like to call neighbor recognition. Why? It gives me the opportunity to um just recognize an individual that's been special in my life, but relate them to you all as a type of person in your community, in your life, in your in your neighborhood, that maybe once you identify with this person, once I tell you who this person is in my life, you may be able to identify them yourself and then say, oh, hmm, maybe I should check this person out. And, you know, say thank you and appreciate them a little bit more. So I'm actually going to give a true neighbor recognition. This isn't gonna be every episode, but it will be when I feel is necessary. And the person I'm gonna do first is the community builder. The neighbor we're recognizing is the community builder, and in my life, that is my friend NJ. Now, NJ, uh shout out to you. My friend NJ just came back from deployment. Um, he was gone from the military or in the military uh over across the seas for several months, and his deployment got extended and extended, and thankfully he is back. He came back within the last week. And honestly, dude, it's been great watching you just come back and immediately have like just bring people together. We've had multiple events of like just a bunch of our friends coming together. He hosted a party at his new apartment. He's had me over a couple times, he's made food for us. I mean, he literally just bought breakfast for me and my friends yesterday. Like, there are certain people in your life and in your community that really like they really are the lifeblood of your community. Like, they they just love people, they care about people, they want to um they want to I don't know, they just want to uplift people. NJ, you've been a massive part of just motivating me with this podcast. You've offered to like help me with the podcast. I do, I am gonna reach out to you about it. Like, dude, you've just been a joy to see, you've just been a joy to have back. And thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I really appreciate you, man. And so in your life, if you know somebody like that who is just like the lifeblood of your community, the heart and soul of your town, then um I don't know, man. Reach out to them, say thank you. Those people I think need motivation as well, right? As much as they love kind of being that that person, that heartbeat for the people around them, I think sometimes we're so we're so thankful for the things they do for us. I wonder if we if you know we could probably do a little bit more of showing them how much they mean to us, you know. And you know, it look, deployment doesn't work for everybody. And so, you know, prayers for families and any of you all out there who, you know, you have a family member in deployment or uh who's overseas or something like that, I hope they come back and are, you know, just as influential as NJ is in our life. But um, yeah, man. Yeah. Just wanted to thank you. And uh, yeah, I don't know who your community builder is in your com in your uh neighborhood, wherever you live, but you know, text them. Send them a text, thank them for how much they mean for your life, uh, even if you haven't seen them in a while. Yeah, just reach out, man. All right. Before I before I move on, we are going to oh, I should probably update y'all on my life. I'm doing a lot better. I've got I'm doing a lot better. I left y'all on quite the cliffhanger last episode. Well, maybe not the cliffhanger per se, but I did leave you guys kind of talking about my life a little bit, and um and it I I I know I put out a lot of thoughts, I put out a lot of interesting dialogue, and um you a lot of you again have come back and really like been you know, just been great and like gave me a lot of insight on that episode, and I appreciate it and have reached out. A lot of my friends have reached out and said, Hey, like, in case you're going through loneliness anymore, again, like please like hit me. And you know, I am I'm doing a lot better, guys. I've started adjusting to the apartment life a lot more, so I do appreciate you guys, and um, yeah, I will definitely be utilizing the beautiful friendships God has blessed me with. So I'm doing I'm doing great. And I think a big part of this episode is I wanted to kind of go in a little bit on the thoughts that um on j on just the thoughts I I I I had I I presented in that episode, right? So I want to start, and and and so I I remember I laid out three points, right? And so I want to start with I want to start with um just kind of going a little deeper on each of those points. And so this episode, I'm gonna go deeper on the first point from my last solo pod. And by the way, the uh the group pods are coming back, okay? I do promise they're coming back. We have one scheduled. They are gonna return. It's not just gonna be my voice and my um my uh dedications, my sarcastic dedications that aren't that don't quite hit the same when Luke and Liz aren't laughing in the background. At least for me. Maybe y'all found them funny, and I hope you did, but anyway. Um so point number one from my last episode. Well, actually, before that. No, I'm gonna read it. Point number one from my last episode is the guide point, the guidepost of Christianity is beauty. Now, I want to introduce this topic a little bit more because I've been thinking about this a lot more. I was like, alright, cool. I need to dig deeper into these topics. So I am going to just think about beauty and the significance that that has in the Christian life. I want to start off by talking about the joy of crying. The joy of crying, interesting. Sorry, I had to get some water. The joy of crying. Andrew, what is the joy of crying? Is this gonna be another sad episode? Uh no, it's not. Why? Because you don't just cry when you're sad, you cry when you're happy. And the reason look, the reason I I I I kind of acknowledge this is because this morning when I got up, um I got I went on my porch. And I'm just sitting on my porch and I'm looking out in the world. And I try and start my morning every day with 10 minutes of just silence and just sitting in the presence of God. Usually I just sit on Usually I sit on the porch so I can be outside. And so I'm just I am I'm just sitting there, I'm listening. And I feel so good about life that I do just start crying because I'm happy. And by the way, this hasn't been like a super easy week, by the way. It's been a long week. And I still have a lot of work to do. Like, I I do have a second job, so I can afford uh doing the podcast, and so I'm gonna be doing that a lot this weekend. So pray for me. But um, yeah, I was just I was so moved by I don't know, I guess just how beautiful my life was. I really don't know, but I remember I just felt happy. And so it made me think like I just had to stay there. It made me realize that crying is a special reaction to feelings because you can do nothing else. If you do try and do something else, you look stupid. If you like try and like if you're like crying and jogging, you look like an absolute serial killer. Like when you cry, you can't really do anything but cry and sit in that moment and just let it happen. Now, I guess you can try and force the cry back, but that's that's not really the point of the cry. The cry is to get whatever that reaction is out. It's supposed to be uh it's supposed to be done. Okay, great, Andrew. We know that. Why is that special? Well, because it forces you to linger. Crying is a reaction that forces you to linger in whatever that moment is. Now, feelings, I I feel like feelings invite us to linger. They in they they notify us that we're our body is reacting to something in the world. But we don't have to listen to our feelings. We can push by our feelings, we can ignore them. But once you have reactions to your feelings, it kind of forces us to linger. It forces us to sit there. And I think, truly, that the ability to linger is key to a beautiful life and a life with God. So this morning, when I'm on the porch crying because life is so beautiful, I am now forced to sit and linger and live with the fact that I just view this day as so beautiful at like 6 30 in the morning. And it was great. It was great. I was so happy that I got to I got to do that. But to kind of n bring in why I think lingering is so important, it's because I don't think we naturally always want to linger. I d I know I don't. Lingering with feelings is something I'm still working on. I'm still learning how to do. And it's it's part of the difference of like what makes it it can it like having that understanding can be the difference between making a bad week a decent week or a good week. Because how I feel about negative emotions, or how I feel about difficult emotions to sit with, and how I view them, do I view them as, oh my gosh, life is so horrible, or do I view them as a signal to sit with something? An example I have is that I'll be honest with y'all. I have a low crush on somebody. I'm not telling you who. Maybe I'll tell Luke and Liz, but I'm not telling y'all. And I'm gonna be honest with y'all, I'm not following up on this either. I'm only meant, I'm not saying anything about this lady. I'm not doing anything in relation to that. And I'm not coming back. And I'm not coming back and telling y'all if it's gonna happen or if anything happens with it. I'm not updating anybody. I'm literally just telling you for the sake of this scenario. I don't give a crap. I don't give a crap what y'all think. And let me tell you something too, because right now the podcast is the mostly people that I know. I promise you you don't know this person. This is a very weird scenario. I I know. I promise you you don't know this person. So even if I told you, even when I tell Luke and Liz, they're not gonna be like impressed. They're gonna be like, ah, I don't know this guy. Like, yeah, I know. Um, so yeah, I'm just bringing it up for the sake of the story. But because most of the people that listen right now know me, I'm not telling y'all. Just putting that public service announcement out there. Um, the only time you're gonna figure out if this actually worked, if this crush actually turned into anything, is if one day some random lady that again you don't know posts a wedding photo and I just happen to be in it, and you're just sitting there on Instagram, like, is that Andrew? What? And and here's the thing, right? If you come back to me, whenever that day happens in the future, the far, far future, whenever that day happens, if you come back to me and ask me, Andrew, is that the lady from the podcast? I'm gonna lie and say, yes, of course, it's the lady from the podcast, whether it is or not. So you are never gonna know I need a break for tea. Slurp, slurp slurp. Sorry, I'm taking that bit from another podcast. I I just like anytime he drinks or something, anything, he's like, go, go, go, go, go. Slurp, slurp slurp. Anywho, if you know what podcast it is, leave it in the comments. All right. So, yes, I have a little crush on somebody. How do I know I have a little crush on somebody? Because I woke up at like 4 30 in the morning thinking about them for no reason whatsoever. First of all, I don't know why I was up that early. I didn't, I wasn't trying to do anything. Nothing woke me up. But I don't care. I woke up, and the first thing I thought about was that person. And I and I mean strong. Like my heart was all tense and everything. I was all like, uh. And I don't like having crushes. Okay? I don't like having crushes because obviously things ain't worked out yet. So it's not always the most positive association for me. So I'm sitting in the bed with the tight chest, rolling around, God, get this away from me.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

I don't like this. Why do I why am I feeling this way? Why am I feeling these feelings?

SPEAKER_03 22:39

And that didn't work. Obviously. Rolling around on the bed didn't work to get rid of the feelings. So here's what I did. I don't know what, I don't know why. Maybe God gave me this idea. But He gave me the idea to think about it. Because here's the thing a crush is not a negative thing. It's not like this is like a bad thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. You're a guy. You're supposed to like a girl. That's not a big deal. So why do you feel negative about it? Well, I don't know, God. Why do I feel negative about it? And so because I sat with the feelings and analyzed them, because I had the time, I got to talk with him about how I feel about this person, what are my concerns, and where do you fit into this situation? Right. I know the person. I'll tell you a tiny bit. I know the person, but I don't know a lot about their relationship with God. And so I was and so essentially I was able to tell God, you know what? I've tried to control this stuff in the past.

SPEAKER_04 24:01

It didn't work.

SPEAKER_03 24:05

So I'm gonna ask you to reveal to me moments that we can use to get to know each other better. And I can get to know that side of her a bit more. And then as I get to know that side of her a bit more and where she stands with you, with God, then things might become clearer as to next steps. Why was I feeling tense? Because I was thinking about way too many things. Because those feelings, I guess for me, trigger a lot of other opinions and a lot of other thoughts. But if I actually just sit with them, acknowledge that the feeling, like really look at the feelings and look at what I'm reacting to, and then analyze it from a better perspective, I'm able to say, huh, this actually isn't a bad thing. And maybe I am telling myself a lie based on the past or whatever, or my insecurities or whatever that is stopping me from appreciating something that I actually should be appreciating. I should be appreciating the fact and thankful for the fact that I even have the capacity to have an affection for somebody. Not saying it means anything, not saying it means anything related to marriage or anything like that yet. But I'm not there yet. I don't know those things yet. Let's think, let's let's sit right now, let's sit in right this second and just analyze it from that perspective. And then I did. And I felt better.

SPEAKER_04 26:00

I felt better.

SPEAKER_03 26:04

Because I lingered. Because I wasn't afraid of discomfort. And I was able to just I took the feelings as what they are, and I tried to view it from God's perspective by sitting, praying with him, telling him how I feel, and letting us dialogue essentially, in a way, right? Obviously, he's not sitting in front of me talking to me, but I do think sometimes he helps guide my thoughts, especially if I give my thoughts to him. I do think he helps guide my thoughts. And sometimes I can kind of tell when he is because at the end, I feel like I am getting calmer, or I feel like the thoughts that are coming to me, even if I feel like I'm talking to myself, the thoughts that are coming to me are th thoughts that align with the scriptural worldview that is that is presented, I suppose, in the Bible and you know, in your learnings, essentially, in my learnings. So yeah. So that is so I think lingering is so important. And partially because lingering is presence, dude. Like presence, presence is so important for a life with God. And I think uh, you know, we'll get to that in a little bit as to why. But let's go back to kind of the overarching point about why lingering is important to me. To me, the ability to linger is key to a beautiful life and a life with God. Okay, well then, all right, so you talked about this this idea, right? The guidepost of Christianity is beauty, right? Lingering is important to beauty. Well, let's ask ourselves a question then, Andrew. What is beauty? What is beauty, eh?

SPEAKER_04 28:07

Eh? Pal? Now, I read this in a book. I forgot to get the book.

SPEAKER_03 28:16

I forgot to get the book. Uh let me pause and get the book because I can edit it out now with my new editing software. Yay, I'll be right back. Walking, walking. Andrew's walking, walking all the way. Walking, walking, walking, walking. Andrew's back with the book. Hello. I'm back. Sorry. All right. So the book is called Beauty, What It Is and Why It Matters by John Mark Miravelle. And it is a Christian book that analyzes beauty. Now, the definition of beauty that it gives, or at least the two essential components to beauty, are order and surprise. Order and surprise.

SPEAKER_04 29:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 29:13

So here's how I took it. Right? Order is uniformity, right? Order is rules. Order is kind of like uh like the color wheel. You know what I'm saying? Like how certain colors match better with other colors and then certain colors clash. When those colors match well, there's a rules to rule to which colors match well. And when you do that rule, things look better, right? There's rules to all that kind of stuff. I'm sure there's rules to that in architecture, right? As far as shapes and repetition and evenness and all that kind of stuff. There's rules that add, because rules add structure, right? When you have rules, you look at something. Or you look at something. When you have eyes, you look at something. When you have rules, you have, you understand, I think, what it is you're looking at to a degree. You know what I'm saying? But then there's surprise. Surprise I look at as uniqueness, for example, right? So uniqueness makes something interesting in comparison to something else, right? Or it creates the pop element, the part of you that goes, ooh, me goose. I like that quite a bit. And so think about like the difference between uh, let's say, let's say, let's go surprise without order, right? If there's no order, then it looks like um modern art in an art museum, right? It's just like a fence post with like plastic straws on it and um a top hat, and they got the nerve to call that something special, like eternity or some crap, or like uh you know what I'm saying? Like they they they they want to they want to give it some like great name, but you don't even know what you're looking at. What is this? What is this thing? I know, I know y'all have done it. I know y'all have walked through modern art museums and you've looked at the art that people have got put up, and you're like, what is this? And you're almost mad because you're like, gosh, I could have been a famous artist if I had just thought of putting a McDonald's cup on top of a I don't I don't know, I'm running out of ideas, watermelon rind, and just threw it in the place and called it, I don't know, glass. I don't know, whatever it's whatever existential name I give it. That's surprise without order. That is just random stuff put together without any concept of what this thing is, any structure behind it uh that makes it to any degree understandable. What's the opposite? There is what is order without surprise. Order without surprise is like modern neighborhood uh complexes. Like you know when modern suburban complexes, like you know when they're putting up like new suburban neighborhoods, and every house looks the dang same. Every house has got the same gray and white, gray and white, gray and white touch of tan. Every house looks the freaking same. There's there's not even really a front yard. It's just like uh it's like a patch of grass and a ginkgo tree. Like, it's like, oh my gosh, this the neighborhood has about as much uh personality as sidewalk lines. Like, this thing is it's it's awful. It's awful, and it's boring. It's boring, right? Order without surprise. You gotta have both. Gotta have both. For the most beautiful things in the world, you gotta have both. You know what I'm saying? Think the Sistine Chapel. That's both, right? You see what it is. It is clearly a church ceiling, it is clearly paintings, it is pictures of paintings, it's, you know, a story on the ceiling. And the surprising part is who would put this on the ceiling anyway? That is like the essence of beauty, according to this book. And so when I look at life, right, when I look at my life, for example, I now have to ask myself the question, right? When I'm thinking about this, okay, beauty is the guidepost of Christianity. Okay, well, is my Christianity beautiful then? Is my life beautiful? Right? Because I found in my in my personal life, my devotional books can be pretty as crap. But if it if it's not doing anything to my life, it really doesn't mean anything. My Christianity is not beautiful if it doesn't impact my life. Okay? So the question now I have to ask is, is my life beautiful? Is it all right? Well, I'll I'll start with I guess I I guess I have to ask the question then of Do I have the elements of beauty in my life? Do I have order? Do I have surprise? And oddly, when I look at my life, it's like a strange mix of no to both. I didn't even know that was possible. It's not fully no to both, but it is a strange mix of no to both, right? Let's start with order, right? Now, my Bible, my Bible plan has taken me to uh Psalm 119, which is like the longest book in the in the world. But, or it's not even a book. It just feels like a book. It's longer than some Bible books. Psalm 119. And a lot of it is about how the writer loves the statutes of God, loves the laws of God, loves the rules of God. And every time I hear that, I'm like, man, I don't know about all that. I don't know if I like your rules like that. I don't really care about your little rules. I mean, I care about your rules insofar that it is like significant like to following you. Like, I know I'm supposed to follow you, but I don't know if I could say I love your rules. I don't know if I could say I love your statutes. I don't know if I could say that. But and then I thought something, right? As I'm listening to this, as I'm listening to myself kind of think about the psalm. I was wondering. I wonder if God's laws are actually what I'm thinking of them as. Because I guess that's what made what I thought about is like, what are God's laws? Like, what are his rules? What are his orders? And I guess. Sorry, I had a tea break. I guess, sure, it's like the Ten Commandments and all that kind of stuff, but I wonder if sometimes I I wonder, I I wonder, and these are just my thoughts, right? I'm not a pastor, but I wonder if sometimes our view of God's laws are way too limited. Like I wonder if they're too small sometimes. Because technically the rules of nature are God's laws. The rules of life are God's laws. I wonder if God's laws are a lot bigger than we think. And I wonder if I don't know, it made me ask myself, are God's rules always his laws of behavior? Or is he really just teaching us how to live within the natural laws of the world that he created? Like I wonder if God is kind of teaching us, hey, this is the world I made. If you want to live in line with me and in line with the way the world is, then, bro, do these things. If you don't, you don't have to. And trust me, I built grace into the world, but good luck. Good luck. And if you don't want to follow the rules I made, then clearly you don't want to follow me. That's fine. You can always come back, but good luck. And I will let you do it. I will let you do your stuff. Like, go ahead, try it out. I promise you, this is not how the world works. I don't care if you like it or not, this is how the world works best, even if it doesn't make any sense to you. Like, I do wonder if that's the way. And so when I think of it that way, I kind of think to myself, all right, maybe it's not about do I love the churchy rules that we put on ourselves as opposed as opposed to like, do I love peace? What do I mean? All right, let me I'm I'm 28. I'm not old, but I'm not really like young anymore. Like, I'm getting into the points where I'm like a legit adult now. Like, and my body is starting to tell me things about the laws of the human body. You know what I'm saying? So I I eat something super sugary, and my body says, I look, man, I hope you enjoyed that. But you can just feel it in your stomach, right? You can feel that that level of artificial sugar, yeah, it's not sitting the same way it did when you were 16, 10. So I don't know. Play with your stomach if you want to. But try this again at 30 and see what happens, my boy. Like, I feel like my body threatens me sometimes. Like, all right, I I know, I know you can eat two biggie bags back in the day. When you were 22, I know you could eat two biggie bags. You eat those biggie bags today, hey, they're not gonna digest the same. Now, those cheeseburgers and fries, they taste better than chicken, than like grilled chicken. But grilled chicken feels a lot better on my body. And so it forces me to ask the question do you like your way? Or do you like what feels good? Do you like peace? Because if you want peace in your gut, you gotta eat what brings peace to your gut. If you don't care about that, alright, cool, man. Keep eating your burgers, keep eating your ice cream cones. Watch what happens. As long as you're cool with the consequences, have a ball. You know what I think of when I think about this topic? I think of like happy wife, happy life. I think about, I think this is what husbands are attempting to say whenever they say like happy wife, happy life. You know that like basic, you know that like real basic uh term for that guys use, that men use who've been married a long time. Now, the problem with that term is that sometimes men use it to just kind of ignore anything that they feel or think, and they don't realize that they're getting more and more bitter by the day. But I think the general concept, I kind of understand. Essentially, what they're what they've kind of understood is sort of what God says when he instructs husbands to love their wives, the way Christ loves the church, is that you know what, if I sacrifice a lot of my desires, a lot of my simple, immediate desires for things that help make her life better, then my life is better. And if I do it in a healthy way, not only is she happy, but I'm happy because I get to serve her. And for some reason in this world, service does feel good.

SPEAKER_04 41:35

So maybe I should do that. Maybe I should do that.

SPEAKER_03 41:42

There is an order to this world, and I think part of growing up is recognizing. Hey man, you can think what you want. The world is gonna work the way the world is gonna work. Why? Because we didn't make it. Now you'd be surprised at what you are able to do in this world, but if you follow the rules of life, you tend to do better than the people that don't. If you say please and thank you and show appreciation to suckers, people tend to like you more than the person who doesn't. That's just how the world is. You can choose to do it or not. If you don't spend more than you make, then you tend to do better than the people who do. I'm just saying. You don't have to say this. I'm not saying this as like a judgment to anybody. I'm bad at a lot of these rules. And but I think that was part of my recognition is like, oh, some of my issue is that I don't like order. And so like when I said I don't like uh that I don't have order in my life, it's to me, it's I don't have routine. I don't really have a routine. And so every day, if I if every day I get up and wing it, then my life kind of feels like that modern art in the museum of like I'm just kind of chasing my emotions, chasing what's on my mind at the moment, chasing what I feel. And my mind, my life is not set up in a way to cultivate the the life I want or the person I want to be. Now, I hear that, and my life and my brain immediately goes to, all right, let's schedule every minute of the day. But then we for we have to remember that second element of beauty, and the second element of beauty is surprise. Which makes me say, oh, okay. Well, how do I feel about surprise? Now, I think there are some people who are thrill seekers. Something you have to understand about me. I'm not a thrill seeker. I'm not even really a normal Sillthreaker? Thrill seeker. I don't like roller coasters. I don't like like super tall things. I'm I'm cool, bro. I'm already tall. I just stay on the ground and walk. You know what I'm saying? I'm cool. And I don't have any desire to do like any like super, like, I don't know where I why I started going to this church. Bro, why are all my friends like Avengers? Everybody's doing like 5K's, 4K's, half a K, Iron Man's, Superman's, Thor's. Like, they're just doing every physical feat that they can do, and I have no desire to do that.

SPEAKER_04 44:46

But guess what?

SPEAKER_03 44:48

That's them. That's their version of pursuing something. I don't know what it is. But like, some people are thrill seekers. Some people like the idea of seeking challenges. But what I've realized is God has instilled surprise in the world naturally. We don't have to look for it. Every day is a little bit different. Every day. It doesn't always feel that way. And that's, I guess, what I'm saying when I think, do I instill surprise in my life? Like, do I have surprise? And theoretically, it's like, nah, not really, because I live a very mundane life. I work from home. I don't really even leave the house most of the day. Like, I don't, I don't have a very like interesting or thrilling or wow life. You know what I'm saying? But if I also know every day is a little bit different, which is one of the cooler aspects about life, is that every day has this order, it has this routine to it, but also within each day is a very different day. You don't see the same people every single day, you don't say the same things every single day. People don't say the same things to you every single day. Even the people you do see every single day don't say the exact same thing every single day. So there is surprise in the world, which now makes me have to ask myself, Mr. Not Thrill Seeker, are you open to the surprise?

SPEAKER_04 46:22

I'll be honest.

SPEAKER_03 46:26

Not really. Why? Because a lot of times surprise can look like an interruption. And I'm not very interruptible. At least not when I'm thinking about something. I don't like being interrupted. Now there are certain days where I'm more tolerant to it than others, but I I don't particularly like being interrupted. I don't like um people I don't like unexpected things happening in my day, especially if they're requests of me. I don't like that kind of stuff. But then I wrote this down while I was playing this episode. How much boredom comes from being either reserved, logical, or distracted. What do you mean? Reserved. I don't talk to anybody, no one talks to me. I'm just gonna kind of I'm not gonna try new things. I'm not gonna go out and like explore things. If I want something, I'm not gonna look up ways how to pursue it. I'm just gonna stick to what I know. You know what I'm saying? The rivers and lakes I'm used to swimming in. I'm just gonna stick to that, because why not?

SPEAKER_04 47:36

I'm comfy with it, I'm good at it. Logical.

SPEAKER_03 47:44

Well, I shouldn't do that. Well, what about what about these details? What about this this extra detail?

SPEAKER_01 47:49

What about this lack of uh time that doesn't make any sense? What about all this? What about that? Why would I ever pursue that, even though I've been thinking about it for the last five years?

SPEAKER_00 47:58

Nah, that can't be anything. It's just uh passing fancy, you know what I'm saying? It's just a dream. Just a dream. And you know what they say about dreams?

SPEAKER_03 48:08

If you pursue them, they die. No, uh, uh no one says that. Sorry. I just I just made that up for the sake of, I don't know. Um, or distracted. And this one's the one that uh I mean, I do both of them. I do both of the other ones, or distracted, but or like, okay, as soon as you let's just say this everywhere we go, we have headphones on. Or everywhere I go, I have headphones on. I'm listening to music, I'm listening to a podcast, I'm listening to something. This Wednesday was a little bit different, though. This Wednesday, I felt God tell me, hey, by the way, headphones are only for the desk. When you get up, when you walk around the office, no headphones. Oh, and if you see someone, say something. Say hi. Don't just ignore people. If someone talks to you, talk back to them and ask them their name. I'm not saying you gotta get super deep. Just saying notice people. And see how much more interesting life is when you notice people. When you notice the little differences to each day. The thing that makes that has made me realize that each day is different, um, was thinking that was people telling me, usually pastors or someone older, telling me, hey, uh, try and meet God in every single day. God's always showing us something, always talking to us. It may not be about what we care about, but it's definitely about something he cares about. And if you look for it, and if you look for him, you see where he wants to meet you. Sometimes it's something about you, sometimes it's something about somebody else. Who cares? He wants to meet you. And when I started looking for God in each day, I started realizing every single day is different. And so the difficult thing is for me getting out of my own head, getting out of my own way, taking out my headphones, allowing myself to be bored a little bit, allowing myself to linger in the boredom, in the silence and see why I am bored. Sometimes it's because I'm doing something boring. Sometimes it's because, oh, I'm in a room full of people and I'm talking to nobody. Because I have convinced myself that I am antisocial and I should just stay this way because people are scary. Which brings me to a harder question that I had to ask myself this week. Because all that was about are we willing to let the life surprise us essentially? Are we willing to let the world surprise us if we take our distractors, if we take our fears and our concerns off? But the thing I was asking, I had to ask myself is are we letting are we willing to let us surprise us? I'm gonna be very honest. I don't think I really realized this week that I have changed. I don't think I realized until this week that I have changed. What do you mean? I mean, I I don't I don't know. I don't think about the fact that I've changed. I don't think that I've I don't think about how growing older and living longer makes you change. I guess I theoretically could have said that as an answer, but I don't, I don't think I would have realized that maybe I don't understand myself anymore if I change, because I've been living off of this old premise of who I think I am. How have you changed, Andrew? Well, let me tell you how I've changed. One, I'm not as pure as I once was. Thanks, Brooklyn, for letting me borrow your laugh. Um Yeah, no, I was I grew up homeschooled. I grew up homeschooled Christian, about as pure-hearted and minded as I could be. And then I went to public school, and then I went to college, and then I went to life, and that all went away. Now some of those, like uh some of those dirty jokes that uh my public school friends taught me about, uh, um, I'll be honest, they naturally come to mind sometimes. Now some of those uh sinful or dark thoughts that uh that other people talk about in media and art and you know, they they now happen to me, naturally generated. Which kind of brings me to the next change um that has happened to me. I'm not as blindly happy as I once was. I felt like as a kid, I was very happy. I don't, for the most part, I was a pretty happy guy. I didn't I didn't feel negative. I didn't feel like I was, you know, like I know like since the start of this podcast, y'all have heard some of the negative negativity that we have been wrestling with, and I didn't wrestle with most of that stuff when I was younger. Another thing that's changed, I don't think I'm as career-driven as I once was. Like when I was in college and everything was about wildlife and environment and nature, and I'm scared of animals. I don't know how I'm gonna do this. I don't like that was most of what I thought about. Everything I did was to get there. Uh bro, I'm a lot more social now than I used to be. I still think I'm an introvert, but my friends are constantly like, you are? Are you sure? You seem people person to me. And it makes sense because every time opportunity I get to hang with my peoples, I go hang with my people. And I am a lot friendlier. I am an easier, I am better at talking to people.

SPEAKER_02 53:45

But I guess if I'm still living under the guise that, oh, I am, you know, I am still super motivated by getting out into the world and doing my job and making my career and all that kind of stuff. And, you know, oh, I'm introverted. Like, I, you know, I I like people a little bit, but I don't like myself. Like some of the weird ways that we like to find ourselves, like, not I don't like myself. I don't, you know, I I like being by myself, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 54:18

You know, some of those individualistic tendencies that make us feel cool or that make me feel cool, I guess. Or like that's one thing is like holding on to ideas of yourself instead of like meeting yourself in Christ every single day and being like, all right, God, you continue to reveal me to me. Don't don't let me think that I know who I am. Like, I know who I like, there are core aspects of you that don't change, and I think those are core aspects of that God uses to guide you. Like, I've always wanted a family, and so I don't think that's changed, but I think I have changed in my focus towards it. I think I've focused more on career than social and community when I was younger, and now I focus a little more on social and community. I care more about it, I make more decisions based on it now. But I think another way, another way I don't really like embrace change all the time is by missing the me of the past. I don't always like that I'm not as pure as I used to be. I I sometimes want to be happy the way I was when I was younger.

SPEAKER_04 55:34

But like, why? Why?

SPEAKER_03 55:44

Maybe because life was easier back in the time. Back in that time. Maybe because life was easier before than it is now. But I'm starting to kind of embrace this idea that instead of missing the old person, maybe I should let God shape the new person, heal the new person, purify the new person, love the new person just as much, if not arguably more, because I'm now walking with him, than he loved the old person. Okay, yeah, maybe you're not as blindly happy as you once were, or maybe you're not as pure-minded as you're as you once were. But you think you think I'm concerned about that? You think God's concerned about that? I can I don't care that you've been through that heartbreak and now you're a little bitter or now you're a little more scorned in relationships. I can that's simple to me. Bro, I don't care that you've been hurt in that way. I can heal that. I can use that. I can use that person. I used you in my plan before you wanted to be used. You think I can't use you now that you want to be? Oh, I was waiting for this deck. The example I I had for this when I was thinking about it was Ella Langley. Why Ella Langley? Because Ella Langley is one of like me and my friend's favorite artists right now, and Luke in particular is absolutely in love with that girl. And recently I was asked by a girlfriend of mine, let me get a break for tea.

SPEAKER_04 57:35

Slurp, slump, slim, slab, slurp.

SPEAKER_03 57:39

I was asked by a girlfriend of mine, yo, Andrew, what is what's the deal with Ella Langley? What what why are the guys so in love with this girl? And I just, at the time I had no, I was not ready for this question, so I had no idea what to say. I just said, look at her. She is gorgeous. But when I think about it, and I think about the totality of the character that she presents, because let's be real, none of us know this girl. She is beautiful. Obviously, she's physically beautiful. She is uh she has a beautiful voice. Uh the country accent is doing it, girl.

SPEAKER_04 58:16

But she also is relatable.

SPEAKER_03 58:26

She's also relatable. She has a song. I can't remember what the song is called, what the name is called. I think it's called Broken In, but the whole concept of the song is that she likes people. She there are certain aspects of life that she likes when they've been used a little bit, when they've been roughed up a little bit. Why? Probably because they show some level of durability. And I think the song probably revolves around men, but she likes people that have been through a little bit more. And if you look at her music background, she has been through some stuff. Her first full album was called Hungover. And it was her story, and I I've probably described this in a past podcast before, but it was her story of her being a little bit of a mess. I'm not gonna lie. Being a little bit of a mess in love and being a little bit of a mess in drinks and being a little bit of a mess in partying and being a little bit of a mess. I'm not gonna lie, I just like hearing myself say a little bit of a. But now her album is called Dandelion. And Dandelion is a she's the same person. You can tell she's still wrestling with the same stuff, but she's wrestling with it in a more I won't I don't want to say pure way, but in a way where she puts down the drink. She's actually wrestling with it. She's actually examining herself. And so it's not, she's not ignoring it with the drinks, she's not ignoring it with the sex, she's not ignoring it with the party, she's actually going through it. And in that album, she has some really beautiful songs about some of the ways she's thinking now. I forget the name of this form of Japanese art. But it's a form of Japanese art, and Liz and Luke would know this, but where it's broken glass and it's put back together, but with like a gold, like a beautiful sealant. And so the it the broken glass now becomes this art, a a whole different piece of art. It takes this pottery that now has that now has all these lines in it of beautiful gold and silver sealant, and it's a whole new thing. Remember the last episode when I talked about being uh shoot, why did I bring this up and then forget the term? Uh anti-fragile. Ella is a broken beauty. She has been broken by the world, but she is being redeemed. Now she has a relationship with God. And in the in the album, she does analyze it a little bit. But she is beautiful because she's not just fighting through, she's being redeemed. And that's a and part of being redeemed is also being a little bit humbled. My pastor said this the other day. Dude, how awful are people who aren't like, who haven't been through anything. You know, like me when I was growing up. No, you know, no blame for anybody. No, I'm not blaming myself. I grew up privileged and not blaming my parents. They did exactly what they were supposed to do in giving us all the resources that they could have to give their kids the best life possible. It but it's just a natural aspect of growing up privilege, is you don't go through as much. At least a lot of people don't. Not everybody, but a lot of people don't. And as a result, you can get some spoiled brats. But once you've been through something, you've been humbled to see that, okay, I'm not as powerful as I thought I am. But you can also relate to people's pain a little bit more. And so you just go through the world a little bit wiser, right? Your happiness is not based off of nothing has happened to me. It's based off of, oh, I found the beauty in the darkness. I found the motivation, the reason to keep living in the darkness, and now I have a wiser view on life. And now I can look at you, person, going through the darkness, and I can give you a real sense of hope, not some fruity, like, oh, it's all gonna be okay. No, I can give you a real sense of hope because I've been through something. I've been through it. Going back to NJ a little bit, NJ's been through some stuff. It's part of what makes him so beautiful, is because he is such a humble but also um genuinely motivational person. He was able to come up to me after my last episode, after the last solo pod, and be like, bro, I've been through what you've been through, and you're gonna be alright. But I also know I also want to be there for you. Those are the kind of people we need in the world. And so as I'm wrestling with my life and looking at is my life beautiful, maybe I don't view it as beautiful yet. But if I'm able to linger in the discomfort and go to the one who redeems, then I will find the beauty. I will start to fall in love with the order. I will start to embrace the surprise. And I will become a more beautiful person as a result.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:14

And so will you.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:20

I don't know what you person are dealing with. I don't know what you what you're feeling right now. I don't know if you love life or not. I don't know if you if you feel your life is beautiful or not. I promise you it is. being with. Why? Because God died for us all. Christ died for us all. So clearly you're worth it. If you're someone who walks around with headphones all the time, I would encourage that. I would encourage you to find times in your life where you make a rule and say, I'm not walking around with headphones like this. I'm not walking around with headphones in these spaces. Or I'm putting my phone in my pocket, not checking it when I'm with people. Why? Because I want to hear you. I want to see you. I want to notice you. And I want to start noticing the things that God cares about. God cares about us so much that he came down and died for us. He loves this world he built. And he loves the people he put in it. And he wants us to do the same. So I wanna I wanna end this with my artist of the week. And my artist of the week is Tyler Staten. And he wrote this really beautiful devotional. Called After Amen. 50 Days of Poetry and Prayer. And we're going to read a part of it to you because he dedicates this book. He essentially, and this is a real dedication, not one of my little fake dedications in the beginning. He says, Who is this book for? He says, This book is for anyone honest enough to admit that they've prayed like a saint moments before losing their temper with a child. It's for anyone sober-minded enough to recall an occasion when they thanked God for his mercy and then immediately chipped away at a friend with judgmental thoughts or defensively reacted to the next minor slight. This book is for anyone who's ever prayed long enough and hard enough to search not for more eloquent words after dear God, but for a more prayerful life after Amen. And this devotional is just that. It starts every single day with a it goes through the book of John, or it goes through a portion of the book of John, and it starts with a prayer, a reading passage, a passage to read, and that talks about, and then it goes into a poem that he wrote related to that passage, related to that passage and how it relates to his life, and then he gives a reflection explaining a bit about the connection between the passage and the poem, and then it ends with a little prayer. He also has a beautiful audiobook. I would suggest, I would highly suggest going to listen to it. Why is this my artist of the week? Because when reading this devotional, I could tell, dude, this, you get it. You get it. This guy's a pastor, and he talked about how he's not interruptible. How he gets so caught up in his own life that he's not able to see the life that God put in front of him. That he's snapping at his kids for getting up in the morning and wanting to come see him. And I listen, I'm not great, I would do the same thing if I was so caught up in trying to do my devotion that a kid running into a room is seen as a burden and not a blessing. I was listening to the Psalms today. The Psalms talk about how children are a blessing, they are a gift from God. And the fact that they want you, that they run to you and want to see you. God knows how that feels. And He has blessed us with the ability to feel that ourselves. And I don't want to be the kind of person that is so stuck in how I think the day should go that I miss be that I miss being able to do those things. That I miss being able to embrace those moments. And so after Amen, I've been through the whole book. It is beautiful. I highly suggest it. Just a lot of reflections on being more, on being slower, and on being intentional and on being present like Christ. Presence. Dude, it makes life beautiful. Dog, this was fun. This was a fun episode. Thank you so much for listening. Um listen. Until the next time. Eternity is for the timeless. Eternity is for the beautiful. I think I mixed those up. But eternity is also for the people who make mistakes, so I'm cool with it. Eternity is for the beautiful eternities for the timeless. Eternity is for the people who forget their outros. Hey, eternity is for those who walk with God. And remember, everyone's welcome. Until the next time, love y'all. Peace.