Límites, Ex-Parejas y Crianza Compartida | El Reto de Unir Familias - Ep. 29 #podcast

Qué tan complicado es realmente unir familias? En este episodio de Detrás de Una Mujer, nos sentamos a hablar con total honestidad sobre la realidad de las familias ensambladas. Desde los grandes retos de asumir el rol de madrastra (o padrastro) hasta cómo manejar la relación con las ex-parejas y establecer límites saludables por el bienestar de los niños.

No todo es color de rosa, y a veces nos toca aprender a los golpes. Discutimos la importancia de no forzar los vínculos, el rol que verdaderamente juega la pareja biológica en poner las cosas en su lugar, y por qué los adultos necesitan dejar sus egos a un lado por el bien de las criaturas. Si estás pasando por esto, o estás a punto de formar una familia ensamblada, ¡no estás sola!

👇 ¡Déjanos tu opinión en los comentarios! ¿Has tenido experiencia con familias ensambladas o criando a los hijos de tu pareja? ¡Queremos leer tu historia y abrir el debate!

✨ No olvides suscribirte al canal y activar la campanita para no perderte ningún episodio.

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Detras de Una Mujer Podcast

Transcript

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Muchísimas gracias por estar con nosotros, otro episodio de Detrás de una mujer este lunes. Muchísimas gracias por toda su interacción y por seguirnos. Así es, amigos, y les repetimos nuevamente. Queremos tenerlos aquí sentados junto a nosotros, así que por favor escríbenos y comunícate con nosotros para que un lunes nos acompañes. También suscríbete en nuestro canal de YouTube y síguenos en nuestras redes sociales que, mira, no te imaginas cómo se han puesto esos debates. En nuestras redes, en nuestro TikTok, en nuestro Instagram está aprendido el debate por allí. Entonces, bueno, te invitamos a que formes parte de también nos dejes tu opinion and your commentary. Siempre queremos saber sus opiniones y más con este tema. Entonces yo les voy a compartir algo de mí, no de forma negativa, simplemente algo que mientras hemos estado hablando de este tema, se me ha abierto la mente. Me acabo de dar cuenta que mis bisabuelos, abuelos, padres, tíos, todos have been divorciados. Entonces, en sí, yo siempre he nací and he sido criada in esa clase de familia, ensamblada. Okay. Yo no pedí, pero aquí estoy. Llegué a esta familia. No sé, ¿cuál es su definición de esta parte? ¿Cómo? Yo llegué a este pedo ya estaba armado. Literally. Entonces, familias ensambladas. Yo así lo defino, simplemente personas who have had some parents, have such matrimonios, and comenzar de nuevo. Y la familia se multiplica, ¿no? Sí. Obviamente. Los tuyos, los míos, los nuestros. Esa es la mejor definition para mí. Elisa lo comentaba, and you know, see, definitively. Los tuyos, los míos, los nuestros. It's the form in which you define. Ahora, what complicated is that? You visible in a manner, in paz, but not sort of this is the panorama. But for what I'm saying. No, it's what I was thinking has been my reality. For example, my telling two. I know what's enred. At the same time. And Bonnie y presten attention. Completamente. And eso fue lo que me hizo pensar en eso. If always han hecho una cadenita de familia. Vaina complicada. Bueno, para mí, sí, porque. Entonces, mi árbol genealógico is mucho más practical. Abuela de Tatata, and ahí se acabó. Yo venía de ahí de los traditions. And those hijos, pues el que tuvo other who are my two primas, and you have the part of the paternity, abuel, hijos, and those niet, yo vine a conocer la familia ensamblada en carne propia. Claro, tú rompiste el patron, and now eres tú that preparing for ensamblar tu familia, because tu nena tiene sus hermanos. Entonces, como Bonnie lo conoce desde que vino al mundo, ya ya sabía el abuelo, también tuvo otra abuela, and the abuela que se tuvo. Para mí es super normal. Y yo entendí después, estando en la school hablando con otros niños, no. Ok, pero it's much more common than what you can imagine. Quizás no es la familia traditional, but it's super common. And a media that vases creciendo, pues it's more common, because it's much probable that consigas una pareja sin hijo than 10 años, ¿me entiendes? Claro, ando. Well, we had the statistics that the mayor of the divorcies that were in the air 70 and 80. Eso fue lo máximo. Ahora ha bajado bastante statistican. Pero porque la gente casa ahora, pues. The gente no se está casando, or se están casando, a los 40, exactamente. Antes the matrimonios were impuestos. And jovencitos, because they have 23, 25 GB, and then you're not going to be able to do that. Exactly. And I've been default. And they're going to be dead, but see, it's my thousand. But you show um Hispanic People Problem. And this is when you have conocimiento of the cause, because what one has her mother and they have a little bit. Exactly. And for me, the most regular have been double parties. And one of this, that one has his life dental to his house, and one is one by one. But it's divino because you comment in a way positive, because you connect these types of families who can see the one or the other, no, no, yes for that, or me is the Navidad, my is the five year. But I escuch and say that there's no convivency between those. I know that it's a process from all, and I would say that it's a process for this point in which I've talked, in which is the reality. Correct me if I'm not sure. I mean, for me no, because I see this. And you imagine it was much more time, but yeah, I was and in this moment se llevaban super bien. Lo chévere fue que a ti te protegieron tu infancia of all this, for no looks like a me no. Exactly, but in a process. A mí me parece division, porque there has been una madurez atrás de eso. No lo creo. No lo creo. Esa vaina that are in TikTok and Instagram. No, no, definitively no. Perdóname, but no. Okay, I think it's really for TikTok. And so this is the mamma bonus of my sister. And we're going to have a bailecita, and nothing looks like, and we are super maduros. There are live bien, no point of TikTok and all. But you hubiese that we try to have harmony, and possibly if we coincidieras in something, we live. I think it's questioning a punto in common. Entonces, not default. Exactly, when you have to say you measure, you te quité, my te quite because you fuiste el otro, tú fuiste el otro, imaginate. And there are families ensambladas también de esta manera super heavy, ¿me entiendes? And llevan su convivencia de lo difícil para hablar de la vida. No. Entonces tú lo que estás es imaginando cosas, ¿no? Yo he tenido que leer y pulir me in relation to this thing precisely because my pareja, okay, el papá de mi hija, with otra kids, and no one, or no has been sencillo, it's a process. It has been a process that no has been sencill. The limit, you eres the puente, of one manner. I don't know if the puente is the correct, but there are things that definitively correspond to it. You don't put it in the life. When there are false respect, this difficult thing. Because the base of this is the respect, and not all the people has the mature. You have to be this person. You know, you're related, I done this passenger for the harmonia, for the vendors, because at the time my friends are. Yeah, but you have all the good ones and the harmony, but what happens if the collaborates and is at the poor creature, or vas a irrelevant, cuta de eso, y ya vas llevando la mala. Entra la manipulación, completamente, porque eso también es verdad. Entra mucho la manipulación, entonces es muy duro. Porque uno puede tener, no, yo soy súper buena onda, que vengan todos los niños a mí, yo te amo a ti, yo por ende amo a tus hijos, pero si las criaturas no colaboran y la contraparte, si la otra, o sea, si tu pareja, bueno, si tu expareja, el papá o la mamá van alimentando también a la criatura of this mala energía, no va a haber un buen ambiente definitivamente. O sea, yo creo que es algo de los adultos para que los niños no passen mal. Es un proceso, because then you have the point in which I can accept this person, okay, else has a new person, hasta what point I live for the process. It's super complicated. But more part of the niche that you are doing and then you have alguien, I no, niña, es que no te dieron tocada, no te están dando, and you get with it like innecessary. But existed. Exactly. Exactly. But no one with one part of my family from the other part of my family. And one does in temprane how to manage all this. And I've seen that in certain situations ayudding the manipulation of the niche. And you can say what I did. Because they're not. Exactly. And you have what I did, and I blah blah blah, and it's a loan, but I've been in another case with a much who I had with her papa and the mamma. Mamma, my papa did that. Then I was with the mom for one, and then, my mom means the weather, and I was with my papa, and so we had. But why does not have the papa or the mother of your wife if you're comparing criances? It's complicated. It's complicated. Deja tus problemas a lado andemos niños, no estoy pidiendo que seamos amigos. The problem much interfiere la relación that tuvo. Entonces ahí empieza el problema de que se empiezan a sacar cosas that when there are a relation of pareja. Ya no somos una relation de pareja. But desafortunadamente, naturally. In the moment that you bus a pareja for formalizing, for casual, no busques an hombre, the hombre lo encuentras in cualquier line, busca quien is a buy padding, stay with me or not with you. Because no guapous, no, and a bad, because the padding of your life. O sea, vas a ser of your life, series of second, or third ex marrier. But the paper of your kids, you have to compart with the things of things. But it's complicated because what does it be bad or bad? I mean, I came into the party, and after the day I re equivocated. Sorry, but I was the other. See, créeme because I have a model of assertive with my friends. And so I was a very good idea. No, I sure peleving with her mother. Exactly. And I mean, I said, but jam pensé que me iba a pas, and I equivoc, the amount, the illusion. Exactly. But you forget and say, Chicas, if you have a good partner. I evaluate this because he had known grand, okay, and you had an excellent papa, and I said, I have a potential for papa. See, you evaluate this because I was entering in my 20s and it was difficult to see a parent that in this day no you have to. In this sense, I mean I equivoc, okay, all the effects of the world, but like papa, it's a iron when we agar. But it's because she had kids, now exactly, we evaluate. You for example, when I rifle, and I wonder, but you can't be papa, and he said, I'm listening and you're in a moment of my life where I could be papa. And we have to, how we're going to manage, I don't know, but of the more you said in my mind that he's the best, I have been, and I'm mamma. But I'm sorry. Antes of all this, a secret that is secret, or the gente that we are escuching, is that I said that you don't have to. And I said, Well, if you don't have to, I'm gonna be the most important thing. And I'm gonna have the fines of seminars, and then I enter a nigga and yeah. How I did, and I did my part, and you should be the most because I had this entertainment of how the families are ensembled and how I did, if I took this situation, you should have it. And I was like, no, I'm like no, I don't have this for me because you have it. Because it's my reality. I was a infancy sana, okay, it's a little determined. Claro, gradually at the family ensemble that I had in my family, I have much amor. Amor that when you say, I see this is my family, and the people, but why is your kid? Well, my wife was, and so now the family of San Andrés adored. And she moved to San Andrés, his wife, and this family jumped with my wife, and I was my kid, and they were here for all the parties, they had regards, they had much amount. Okay, I had much amount and many people who I adorated. And so, for me, the family ensemble is that they multiplicate the life in the family. No, nothing. I imagine that there are many stories that I encourage compared to. For sure, compared to what are those situations, because you know it's a little bit complicated, and when one is in this, but you know that you in my family has been a little more tolerant to the different forms and different structures families to the which I'm expecting. And I'm prudent, because you say, in front of this, you don't say this. And in front of this, I don't know. But conversation of this, because there are many amigas in the escuchation and this disjunctive. I was of those who said you're my son, and my parents will get the same experience and the same, and I don't want to be with a homie who had. And I think that's a good thing. But there's the madure of different things. But I think this quiz because the reality is that I took it, but I have to have a lot of empathy, no? I learned that I said, if you know, it's imagining. But then there's a point in which there's to put limites, because one would observe. This is my parent. When I talk about me, the niche or what, but conversations incomodes, but they have to take them for your path mentality and because it's part of the process. You can have a family in the world. You have families maravillos ensemble, who are super good, that respect, respect the people, because at the finale, all that we have is for being our creatures, for that they form, like in your case, you don't have a person who has you, but it has nothing extraordinary. For me, I think alguien in combo, no? But I'm gonna confess, you know, I'm gonna confess other things. Excellent decision. And I can't take higher with other people. So it's a decision consensual, Andrew. Because I've seen those things, I think I've seen this convivency that is super complicated. Yeah, you no eres my father, you no. I know. Then you publish this. I've lived, I've been with my proper eyes. The amiga of an amiga of the amiga of the vecina. Yeah, bueno, repetition. The amiga of an amiga of the amiga of the sobrina of my vecina. Esta es mi hermana, pero tú eres mi mamá. No, pero él es mi papá, sí. Y entonces ella es mi hermana, sí, y la cosa se complica. Son conversaciones que también, ¿cómo manejo esto? ¿Cómo se maneja esta conversación? Y nadie te dice. Que ni siquiera me corresponde, sí, exactamente. Es, yo diría complicado, ¿no? Poniendo el lugar de la amiga de mi amiga que me llene la vecina. Yeah, pero in este caso si es complicado y es heavy el tema, hacerlo con amor, hacerlo. Conciencia, con conciencia, because they're talking about a creature of 4, 5, 6, 3, no sé la edad of this creature, but they're talking with the amount and with the respect that ella is the parent of your father. Because at the time the people have to be familiar, and everything is the ex-party incommodate, or something. In this process, I was an accompanyment and I got an information of a child who's Pri Prido Santos, I'm madrastras. I explain. I know. And I've heard the fear that the people who and I was like, or I was, and now I've been with ours of rechazion, and it was. And I should say what the person of Disney who traumatized that all the people. Dios mío, they have an horrible madrastra. Those are valiant. Those have madrasra and horrible madrastra. And the only harmony are when they are familiar normally. Traditional. I think this would influence. Ponerse in this name of not enter that the nibs don't have the culpa. The nich don't have the culpa. If you create that, for you to have this situation, and then for my kids, it's more complicated. No, no, it's more complicated. You eres the complicated, ponte, season, ponte to study different families, structures, and I think that this will avoid us to be more parents, have families ensemble, and a more future for our kids. And no, the electron, no? They are totally reflected, don't know what we say, like express, whom we sent, absolutely. For those resentiments a later, for more rain we do, or we have a situation, we have to have this resentiment, we have to get in this that is causing this reactivity, okay? Because this is anything that we connect to the other person, and in my own. You have to talk, I'm in confession. Okay, that in my moment there was this resistance, or empathy much with my situation. Claro, because in the world. Exactly. But it happens before it has traveled, as Liz, it's a process and nobody at TikTok of one. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's a exaggeration. But I mean, a little bit of a little exaggerated. No, completely. But I have a But no, there's a process that would be a process very duro, not a camera of espin. Really, not a camera de rostro. No, definitively. If there's a communication, if there have been false of respect, al final del camino has created, and lo que somos ahora fue porque lo que nos, o sea, los padres ahí nos martillaron en la cabeza. O sea, tienes que tener una cosa. Pero hay un punto de tu vida que tú tienes discernimiento ya como adulto, tú sabes lo bueno y lo malo. O sea, te pudieron haber creado como una horrible persona, pero ya tú dices, wow, ya va, este patrón está bien, chimbo. O sea, no me gusta como hacían esto. Y si te dijeron cosas buenas más aún, no te desvíes. O sea, exactamente. O sea, ya tú sabes al final de cuentas qué está bien y qué está mal. Y ya si quieres molestar, ya es porque eres así, o sea, ya. Exacto, porque tienes una herida muy marcada that no has traveled in ella. You identify those and you said, Well, ya va, aquí hay vainas that me están afectando that no son mi culpa. Entonces, ¿por qué afectada por eso? Voy a hablar de más aquí, but I mean, my papa tiene una ex-spons that one push to hablar mal de mi mamá, and you la conoces. ¿Cómo te da su rabia? La rabia is de ella. Exactly. ¿Cómo tú te vas a poner a hablar mal de una persona that literally no conoces? Y se lo vas a decir a los hijos de ella. Terrible. Mira, una persona feliz no habla mal de nadie, no jodas. O sea, simple and sencillo. Una persona que está segura de si misma no busca estar criticando a otra. O sea, si tú estás segura de ti, de que tú vales, pues tú no te pones a criticar a otra persona, a menospreciar otra persona. Es peor, el modelo de crianza. Lo peor que puedes hacer es criticar a otra madre, como está criando a sus hijos. O sea, no puedes hacer eso. Exactamente. No se puede. Entonces, por favor, nos comparten sus historias, déjenos saber si les ha pasado, si están in esa situation. Seguramente sí. Queremos empatizar con ustedes, queremos saber qué piensan también de lo que hemos estado contando aquí, porque nosotras no somos perfectas, por lo menos en mi caso. Yo he tratado de asistirme con una especialista, se los recomiendo muchísimo, se las recomiendo demasiado porque las puede ayudar, las puede guiar. Estas son, por lo menos en mi caso, que venía de una familia tradicional, pues hubo cosas que me sorprendieron, ¿no? And that me agarraron como fuera de base. Entonces, bueno, yo voy a buscar una guía with a person who's especially in this. Y listo. If you want a consequence of alguien who has been in sang, for sure, communicate with us. I mean me encourage learning thumbs. I'm here, I'm a library, so I mean escuchers. Muchas for us in another episode of Detrás de una mujer.