Base Buddies

Young Mom. Toxic Relationship. Now She Built a Life She Never Thought She’d Have | Aly's Story

• Ley Wright • Season 1 • Episode 16

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In this episode, Aly shares her story of becoming a young mom, surviving a toxic relationship, and rebuilding her life into something she never imagined possible. From finding love again through Tinder to discovering purpose through motherhood, this conversation is honest, emotional, and completely unfiltered.

We also talk about her content creation journey, helping build North Carolina MomTok, and how social media opened doors to major brand opportunities  including deals with Dr Pepper.

This episode contains strong language and real conversations about healing, motherhood, relationships, and starting over.

Follow Aly:
 Instagram & TikTok: @alythebagel

Follow North Carolina MomTok:
 Instagram & TikTok: @northcarolinamomtok

Follow Base Buddies:
 @officialbasebuddies

SPEAKER_02

Hi everyone, welcome back to another episode of Base Spuddies. I'm your host, Leigh. If you are new to this podcast, this podcast is geared towards military spouses, fiancees, girlfriends, veterans alike. And we basically just share each other's stories and connect via shared commonality. Today is super exciting. We have Miss Ally here. Huh?

SPEAKER_00

I'm so excited. I've been looking forward to this like all week.

SPEAKER_02

I'm so excited to have you. Miss Allie is a marine wife. Not only that, she is a very, very big content creator and influencer in the military spouse space. And uh outside of that as well. She is the creator of um North Carolina Mom Talk. And she is here to talk about her experience as a military spouse, along with everything that she has created for herself, which by the way, I'm in total shock. Like I'm like fangurly right now, I'm sweating. We were talking before this.

SPEAKER_00

Even during the first intro that we did. Oh my god. It was supposed to be like 15 minutes, turn into like what, an hour of us just like turned into like an hour. Going on about everything.

SPEAKER_02

No, she's like the easiest person to talk to. I I freaking love her. I love that. So, Miss Allie, tell me all about yourself. Start from the beginning to basically where you are now.

SPEAKER_00

You know, the first time you asked that question, too, I was like, how the fuck do I answer this? Like, I feel like I'm still at that point where I'm still like trying to figure things out for myself. Who am I, especially after having three freaking kids?

SPEAKER_02

And you were a young mom too.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah, girl. So I feel like you're like I'm after having this last baby, starting to slowly find that out myself.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But I I feel like the best way I can answer that is just like I'm the type of person where I like to pour into others and into the community and everything.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So we're figuring it out, but that's like one of my postpartum journeys. Maybe I should make that into like a whole series. Who the fuck is Allie?

SPEAKER_02

You know what? That's actually that's really good that's really relatable.

SPEAKER_00

How do you even find that out? You know what I mean? I don't know. Like just trying to figure it out and like trying to figure out what works. So deep your my style, because like that's a whole other thing. Your body changes so much after pregnancy and birth and everything. So that's it's been a it's been a journey after each and every kid, for sure.

SPEAKER_02

So let's start from the beginning. So where are you from?

SPEAKER_00

I'm from Jacksonville, North Carolina.

SPEAKER_04

I don't know if we're living in New York. It's in Jacksonville.

SPEAKER_02

So you were born and raised in Jacksonville, and then you went to high school there and everything along those lines, right?

SPEAKER_00

I went to Jackson, yeah, I went to Jacksonville High School, um, graduated Jacksonville High School, but um I got pregnant senior year. So that happened. Um but then, you know, was a single mom for a while, working three jobs, just trying to stay afloat with my baby and everything. And then shortly after, because I had um left her dad and met David afterwards. But we say we say the first ones don't count. The first ones do not count.

SPEAKER_01

That is so funny.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, we um yeah, we moved, I think that what was the first place we moved to? We were in Jacksonville for a little bit, but then we moved to California like shortly after.

SPEAKER_02

Really? So how did you meet David?

SPEAKER_00

Tinder girl.

SPEAKER_02

You know what? I know it's aiming you.

SPEAKER_00

So it's so funny. Okay, I was at the point where I was like, I'm so done with men. I was about to delete the app, okay? I went onto the app and I was about to delete it. And when I went to go delete it, I saw that I got a message from David. And he's like, hey, like, love, would love to get dinner with you. I'm actually in the area. If you're free, like, let's go get dinner. And I was like, you know what? Your girl's hungry. I'm broke. So free dinner. And we, I had no intention of actually liking this guy. Like when we met up for our date, I was literally like, I'm gonna get free food, and that's about it. And we're that's gonna be the extent of the date.

SPEAKER_02

Yep.

SPEAKER_00

We go out and he takes me to a seafood boil. Uh girl, I f I'll fuck up something.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, first day.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, on a first day. Raw, dirty. Oh no, I did not care. He was like, he handed me the gloves, and I was like, oh, I'm not gonna need those. I was in there with the freaking crawfish and the shrimp and everything. But no, the day went so well, and I was like flabbergasted because I, you know, got out of a really toxic relationship, did not want to be around men, and then met him, and I was like, this guy's like so easygoing, so different from what I usually am attracted to. And we ended up going axe throwing that night.

unknown

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00

I was like, hey, let's go axe throwing, and then we went there, and it's like ever since then, platonic, two peas in a pot. My little guest piece.

SPEAKER_02

And uh, and uh he supports you through everything that you do, which is the most important part.

SPEAKER_00

He's yeah, he's a huge rock in like everything that I do. So definitely a team effort because right now he's in college, and then I'm doing content creation full time, and then just with like the North Carolina mom talk page and the kids and everything else. I really don't know how we would do it if we weren't like a solid team, you know what I mean? I feel like a lot of relationships with especially within the community, it's like one-sided support, you know what I mean? Very, very I hear those stories all the time, like even from like my really close girlfriends where they'll tell me like things their husbands did or do, and I'm like, So when are you leaving him?

SPEAKER_02

Right. No, like like I I totally relate to you because like my husband, he's my rock, he supports me in absolutely everything that I do. I we don't have any kids, so that definitely helps a lot when it comes to like oh yeah, you just do whatever you want, I'll just do this. You know what I mean? So, like I completely relate to you. And yes, most of the time, like partners, like partnerships in the military aspect is very one-sided because the spouse is like kind of expected to just accept what's going on.

SPEAKER_00

Follow along. They're just gonna be where you go, put their job on pause, their career's on pause, everything's on pause. And then you're kind of just at a standstill.

SPEAKER_02

I feel like it does, and then most of the time the service member, and I'm not here to talk shit about service members, but like this is what I've heard from like my really close like friends and all their acquaintances and everything along those lines. Most of and obviously the T pages, duh, like clock it. Clock it, 95, but like 95% of those like T pages are basically like spouses complaining about their service number because their service number doesn't allow them to do the things that they want to do.

SPEAKER_00

Or it's like, yeah, my husband cheated on me, what should I do?

SPEAKER_02

And I'm like, Leave him.

SPEAKER_00

What kind of question is that?

SPEAKER_02

No, common sense is to tell you to leave.

SPEAKER_00

Sometimes it really is not common. Common sense is really good. Like the T Pages is like a really good example because I always saw posts like that of like, mm-hmm, this happened with my spouse, this, this, this, and like I have to quite literally bite my tongue because I'm like, why the fuck are you what? Like, why is this even a question?

SPEAKER_04

Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I feel like having to ask random strangers on Facebook what you think you should do. I feel like you already know what you should do, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

Exactly. Yeah. Like if you're questioning your decisions, that means that you already know the answer to it.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly. And I'm just, I don't know. I always even like with my like closest girlfriends, whenever they'll talk about like their spouses and just like them being assholes. And I'm just like, I just want to hug my friends because I'm just I see them great mothers, great wives. They put everything on hold. They are just overall amazing human beings, and then I just want to pop the fuck out of their husbands sometimes. Like, why are you treating her like this? Hold this. No, seriously. I get so passionate with stuff like that. Like, why are we just letting these dummies call the shots? I don't get it.

SPEAKER_02

Why are men there? Seriously. Like, why men shouldn't uh be allowed? I think we're men. That's it. Men shouldn't be allowed anywhere. So except except except mine and yours.

SPEAKER_00

Um if you do have like career goals, especially within this community, and you know, your spouse is a service member and you know they're dedicated to their work, there has to be a balance. Like you can't, you know, like there's the spouses where they'll will they'll stay at home, not really do a whole lot. Because I was that spouse. I feel like while we were in Washington, I think I talked to you about this briefly. While we were in Washington, I wasn't really doing anything. And he was like putting everything into his career, and you know, I was just there to support him. And I feel like that was like the point where I was like, what are we doing? Like, what am I doing?

SPEAKER_01

Right.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So that's like one of the big things for sure. And I feel like now I'm got I've gotten to that point where we're we're back home, we're around family, we're around friends, and I'm able to like, you know, you're you ask, like, oh, who's Alyssa? I don't know, we're figuring that out. But, you know, I like to go shopping. I love shopping. I love my makeup. I love my kids. I love just like pouring into my family, but also pouring into the girls around me, the women around me. And like that's where that's where I'm really leaning into right now. Like, I'm fucking digging it right now. It's so much fun.

SPEAKER_02

I love that for you. So your husband is a marine. What did becoming a marine wife teach you that no one prepared you for?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, dude. Resilience.

SPEAKER_02

Oof.

SPEAKER_00

To the max. I feel like every I feel like every military spouse can relate to that, honestly. Because I for our situation in specific, we were across country, which some people are like across the ocean from family and their sport system. Some of them don't even have a sport system whatsoever. But for me, I'm extremely close to my family. Very, very close. I feel like it's that like typical Hispanic household. Like we would all live together if we could. But um when we moved across country, that was really hard. That was my first time away from my family. And, you know, raising kids away from that support system is rough too. Date nights were not a thing. I don't leave my kids with random strangers or like babysitters on Facebook or anything like that. Like I take my kids everywhere with me. But we were in California and Washington, and we were doing it completely by ourselves. During that time, we went through two miscarriages, which was rough. We went through multiple deployments. David had left like two weeks postpartum for eight months.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00

And that was rough. And like during those periods, I'm like, okay, I don't remember there being a time where I was overly depressed where I couldn't get out of bed. I feel like I was in figure it the fuck out mode. You know what I mean? Like, I didn't have the time to be sad. I was just so busy with the kids. And I was like, hey, today we're gonna go to the freaking strawberry patch. We're gonna go to the fair, we're gonna stay busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, so I could stay distracted. And like looking back during those times, I was like, how did I do it? Like, especially like after some really tough times, like a miscarriage and like holidays away from family members and all this stuff. And I was like, holy crap, like we really did just like figure it out, and that's it. Like the resilience behind military spouses and military children a big one is insane. Like they will just figure it out, they will uh the r the resourcefulness and the resilience uh within this community between the service member, the spouses, and the children unheard of. You will not see that anywhere else, honestly. In any other community.

SPEAKER_02

That's beautiful. So he was gone for eight months. How did you explain that to the kids? Dad's gonna be gone for eight months. And how did they take it?

SPEAKER_00

Our uh middle child, she was too little, she didn't know what was going on. But our oldest, she, oh my god, dude, she took it so rough. It was so hard on her. And during those times, we really just like tried to tell her, you know, like daddy loves you, daddy's gonna be back. We had the deployment wall, like where you know what I mean. Like you've seen those all over social media. Um and I really feel like we just kept her so busy with extracurricular activities and like constantly doing stuff around town and with friends and everything that she didn't really have time to be sad. You know what I mean? We were having so much fun while he was gone. And she forgot. Like we were having we were staying busy. We were going to freaking SeaWorld. We were taking advantage of like the free passes and all this stuff, going to Disney World and everything that I feel like she didn't have the time to be sad, but the moments that she was, we would just kind of like reiterate like Daddy loves you. Um books during that time were a big one. We read like under the same moon. I don't know if you've ever heard of that one. So cute. Like the highly recommend. But any kid that's um experiencing, you know, mommy or daddy being gone on deployment, that's a really good book for kids. Um basically just tells you like, you know, you're under the same moon, they love you, you're looking up at the moon, he's looking up at the moon type of thing.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00

It's sad, but no, I feel like she just she was she was amazing during that time for sure. And the little one didn't know what the fuck was going on.

SPEAKER_02

She was like, great. Oh my god, that's so funny. So, what do you think that some people misunderstand about military spouses, especially young military spouses like you once were?

SPEAKER_00

I feel like people outside of the community think military families are made out of money. Outside of the community. Like oh, money rare. But no, like I feel like outside of the community, people look at military families and they're like, oh, the benefits and all this, like they definitely have it going. That's not the case. That's a common misconception. I feel like within the community, if you really want to get down to the cheese of it, higher ranking spouses. I feel like I saw this like on the T pages and like on the Facebook pages all the time where it was like the younger spouses are just dumb.

SPEAKER_04

Do you know what I mean? Dumb?

SPEAKER_00

Like dumb. Like they think that the younger spouses are dumb. Like they could like say a younger military spouse posts on the Facebook page and she's just asking a simple question. What time does a commissary open? You know, like like stuff like that. And that there will be spouses. Well, they'll go in and they're just like, oh, they don't know what's going on, they're stupid, and they'll like have some like snarky ass remark in the comments section. But I I feel like they always forget. We all started off at that point. You know what I mean? We all started somewhere. We all started as like the spouse that really didn't know what was going on or how things go or the routine of things or anything. And it's always insane to me because they can get so nasty right there and it doesn't make sense.

SPEAKER_02

There's no grace when I'm gonna do that. There really is no grace. Mm-mm. When it comes to it's like I feel like, like you said, some military spouses forget where they came from and they forget that they were once that 17-year-old girl that didn't know what the freak was going on, or that 30-something-year-old woman that had her previous life before and is now inserted into a military life that she had no idea either.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. There's literally no grace in those situations, and I always hate it because like I feel like that common misconception is like they I don't even know if that would be considered a common misconception, but more so like we don't consider that we were once in that situation. We were once that person, and we don't think that person is owed a little bit of grace in the situation, especially when like their spouses leave for the first time. Cause I don't know. Like I remember David leaving, and there were like a few things that I had no idea. It was like bank information and all this stuff. I'm like, what do I do? Like housing stuff, do I call? And it and you ask those questions on the page, and they're like, oh my gosh, this, how do you not know that? This is this. And I'm like, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

For me, when Dominic was gone for 11 months, that was our first deployment. 11 months. And so yeah, it was and it was six months after we got married.

SPEAKER_00

They said, welcome to the music.

SPEAKER_02

They said, Oh, oh, you want to be part of this? All right, we'll give you a real taste of this. Like oh my god. So for me, it was more of so like power of attorneys, how to legally uh like sign for a document without your spouse being there. And like I had to figure that out by myself. I didn't ask the tea pages because honestly, I didn't even like know those were a thing back in the day. Um, not even back in the day, what the fuck? I'm talking about like as if I'm like 50. The hell? No, I didn't know those were like a thing, I guess, when I first became a military spouse. When I was young, when I was like then, I didn't really want to associate myself with the military spouse community, not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_00

No, I get it. It has like a bad word sometimes. And it sucks because all of them are like that, obviously, but obviously, but I'm also but I'm also like there's that select few, and you know that saying where it's like hate is so loud. Yes, yes, it's overpowering, and it could be so much louder than like the love that the the community sends overall. But realistically, like I was talking to my friend about this the other day. I feel like the friendships that I've made, maybe that's the common misconception right there, is that they're all horrible. That's not the case. I was talking to my friend, um, Kayla and Miranda the other day, and we've been years, and I actually met them when David was deployed during that eight months. We were all either postpartum, pregnant, or trying to conceive. So, like all of us were going through phases.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_00

And I feel like we met each other at the best time, but now we're like this. But that bond that I have with them, genuinely, out of all the friendships that I have and relationships that I have in my life, I feel like those bonds are damn near like sisterhoods. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I'm so close with Miranda and Kayla. And I don't, I don't even think like any other friendship, respectfully, can can compare to what I have with those two. And those are those are military spouses. You know? Yeah, those are your girls. My girls are yeah, like sisters to me. And so, like, my thing is like as much hate as the community gets, and like as much, you know, drama is associated with it, and like you always hear these horror stories. It breaks my heart, especially like making military spouse content. And I'll make like videos of like the friendships that I've made within the community. And people will be commenting and they're like, Oh, I've never found this, or this, this, this, or maybe I'll post like a video talking about some military spouse drama. And someone will comment, they'll be like, This is why I don't go out of my house. This is why I don't talk to military spouses. And I'm like, Okay, you are doing yourself such a disservice by not getting out of the house, not only for yourself, but for other people that could potentially have that connection with you. Because there could be someone that would click with you and you just took that away because you're not willing to put yourself out there. You know what I mean? I can't imagine what I would have done during that time had I not met those girls.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So that's the common misconception is that they think all of them are really ugly and nasty and dramatic. And don't get me wrong, like me and my girls, like we'll be over here like little cheese mossas all the time, like talking random stuff. Like we love drama just as much as the next. But at the end of the day, we've gone through so much, like miscarriages, pregnancies, um, deliveries, deployments, everything that you can think of, I've gone through with them. And I can't imagine finding that anywhere else.

SPEAKER_02

That's so nice.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So I I genuinely feel like that's my biggest like takeaway from anything is just like put yourself out there. So scary as it is, as stressful as it is, and like anxiety-ridden, I get it, but you really are doing yourself such a disservice by not putting yourself out there.

SPEAKER_02

I definitely agree. So now that you've found your tribe, basically, you had mentioned earlier in this podcast that you were in Washington and you were one of those moms that just sat and just did the bare minimum. Was that a point in your life that you felt quite isolated? And if so, what made you feel isolated besides the distance, of course?

SPEAKER_00

It it didn't help that, like before Washington State, we were in California. And so that's where I had met, you know, my best friends. And so when I moved to Washington, I was trying to like recreate that in a different state. And like I said, like no, no one was able to match that energy. You know what I mean? Like I would literally like Miranda, Kayla, Chris, and like our entire little group. And I would be like, hey, um, let's have a seafood boil. Hey, let's have a party, let's get all the kids together. They would show up. They're like only three minutes down the road. In Washington, it was different. Like, I don't know what it was about Washington. Maybe it was a weather. I don't know. People were not willing to get out of their houses. It was so hard to like make friends out there. I that was probably in such a beautiful state. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Amaz literally, probably one of my favorite places we've been, but for such a beautiful location with so much to do, I think that was probably the most loneliest I had ever felt in my entire life. And that was like a breaking point for me because as soon as we got news that we were coming to North Carolina, I was like, I want to create North Carolina mom talk. I'm gonna be back home, surrounded by my friends, surrounded by my family. I don't want anyone to feel whatever the fuck I was feeling in Washington ever again. So I feel like, yeah, the universe puts us in these positions for sure.

SPEAKER_02

I love that. Shifting gears a little bit, you became a mom quite young. And early in this podcast, we touched on resilience. What did becoming a young mom teach you about being resilient?

SPEAKER_00

Oh girl. Everything. There's so many eyes on you that are already expecting you to mess it up. And I think everyone's just kind of expecting it. Um there was a lot of pressure. Like I I knew I wanted to do better and I wanted to be better, and I wanted to do more for my daughter, do more for myself. So there was a lot of pressure. But like with that pressure, obviously it's like um you're hyper-fixated on what you're doing that you're gonna stumble. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

Yep.

SPEAKER_00

Like when you're like you're rushing to do something because you just want to get it done. I don't know how to exactly explain it, but I feel like there was just so much pressure that I was so anxious with everything that I was like bound to mess up. So I feel like there was definitely some uh hiccups along the way. Um jobs and everything in between. But, you know, like I had lost a job and I I had gotten into a car accident at one point, and I was without a car, so I couldn't get to my job, and I was without a job, and I still had to provide for my daughter. But like one of those things is like I just figured it the fuck out. You know what I mean? There was no room for mess up.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

As a mom in general, but as a teen mom, there's no grace. I cannot fuck up. There, there's so much pressure, and you you want to do right by this baby because you already, you know, in my eyes, I was like, oh my god, I put her in this position, you know. I I wanna at the very least do the best that I can do. And I feel like, you know, there was a lot of hiccups along the way where I was like, oh my god, I I need to do better. And I feel like the resilience part comes into it when as I was getting older, I started learning, okay, these aren't the right ways to do things. I need to do better this way, type of thing. And yeah, we you know how they say the first the first baby sees it all. Is the prototype? Yeah, honestly. It's so sad to say, but I mean now it is true. It is. I mean, I'm the oldest.

SPEAKER_01

I'm the oldest, so we're the prototypes.

SPEAKER_00

But no, see, like I that's that's where I'm like, okay, I need to give myself a little more grace. And I I did figure it out. And you know, like we are in the position we are now, and I'm a firm believer of this. If I would have done it any other way, I would not be where I am right now. You know what I mean? I had to have gone through what I did to be where I'm at right now.

SPEAKER_02

Absolutely. Things happen for a reason, and nothing is a coincidence.

SPEAKER_00

Firm believer on that. Absolutely. I met David. I have our two other babies now, too. And my oldest is over here thriving. She's like this goofy. You're gonna have to meet her. When you when you come down here, you're gonna have to meet her.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

She's so fun. Um, so yeah. Yeah, I am too. Yeah, it's definitely one of those situations. Like you really are gonna figure it out. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Always.

SPEAKER_02

What do you think people judge too quickly when it comes to being a young mom?

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I kind of get it. I mean, it's like no one really knows what the fuck they're doing as a mom. You know what I mean? There's no right time to have children. Obviously, not as a teen either. Like, definitely don't get an unteen pregnancy.

SPEAKER_02

Um but I I feel like things happen for a reason, I think.

SPEAKER_00

It it yeah.

SPEAKER_02

They do have to happen.

SPEAKER_00

It had to. Okay. Are you into like palm readings and stuff?

SPEAKER_04

Girl, yes.

SPEAKER_00

I I the reason I brought this up is because we had free palm readings at one of our meetups. Shout out Lucky Cat Studio in Charlotte, North Carolina. But she tag 'em palm reading. And it was insane, dude. I I've never done this before, by the way.

SPEAKER_02

Really?

SPEAKER_00

And so, first of all, she was touching like past, present, and future. My whatever she said from my past to a T. It was actually scary. I ball, I was bawling my eyes out. I was so emotional. But then she started talking about my present and like what is happening like right now and this, this, this. And then she talks about um my future, and she's telling me like that the universe put me in the position that I am now. Like, I was put here on earth to be a mom. And that everything that I went through was not for nothing, it was to pour into my children and that I can pour into the community. And so, like, she she was just talking about everything. And though that was one of the things. Like, I feel like I left that palm reading and I was like, oh my God, I just want to go hug my kids. It was insane, but she just touched on everything, and that was one of those things where I was like, I yeah, I it happened the way it needed to. As shitty as like certain parts were, would not change it. Not even a little bit. I would do it all exactly the same.

SPEAKER_02

How did becoming a mom shape the woman you are now?

SPEAKER_00

I feel like I'm way more confident. For sure. Like, okay, I you know, I gotta like a little bit of a belly right now because I just had a baby. I know. I like a little bit of girth to me, you know.

SPEAKER_02

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00

A little bit of chub, never kill no more. Garnet, garnet. There you go. And then see, the thing is, I was super skinny before my oh girl.

SPEAKER_02

I think I couldn't imagine you were skinnier than what you are now.

SPEAKER_00

No, I speck of dust, okay. I was like, I think I was like 115 throughout all of high school.

SPEAKER_02

And you're tall too, huh?

SPEAKER_00

Uh 5'5. Okay, yeah, you're tall. Yeah. And so when I was that skinny, I did not feel very good about myself. But after I had my oldest, dude, I love my body after I had my oldest. After my second, that shit kind of fucked me up. She got me a little heavy. Um Cravins. I know, dude. And then after the third, I was like, okay, I'm fucking with this right now. But the thing is, like, I definitely feel like I feel more confident. You know how some people are like, you peaked in high school? Like, I don't know if that's like a concern for you. I don't want to be the girl that peaked in high school.

SPEAKER_02

Never. Neither. Never.

SPEAKER_00

For me because I got pregnant in high school, so there's no peaking in high school. But uh, my peak was late. My peak was delay later. I want to peak in motherhood. You know what I mean? I saw a TikTok video about it. It was like the the over-excessive moms, like where you're going above and beyond for like the kids' baseball games and birthday parties and stuff like that. I want to be that. I want to peak in motherhood. And like I feel like that's where I'm at right now. Like, I feel like I feel confident in my body. I feel confident in just like, not to be like totally vain, but like my looks. I feel confident, like me as a mother, my marriage and everything. Like, I just feel overall just like complete. And I motherhood. I swear that's what that's what got me here for sure. I feel like we've ex we've found so many moms like that, especially like starting North Carolina Mom Talk. And it's been nice because like our little girl gang, I feel like every time we have a mommy meetup, we're just like over here gassing them up and like my story, like how we went out drinking for karaoke with so like it was a good time. It was fun. And like I feel like, yeah, we need to find the joy outside of just being a mom, but also like just being us, you know? Like, I want to go drinking, I want to go dancing, I wanna get my hair done. Like, I'm more than just a mom. But, you know, like that's what's made me the way I am, you know?

SPEAKER_02

So how how did mom talk even start? How did you get the idea? And did you think that it was gonna be like as big of a community as it is?

SPEAKER_00

No, not even a little bit. No, girl. We were in Washington State, and David had just gotten word that we were gonna be going back home to North Carolina.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And I was like, like I said, Washington was so lonely. It was so bad. And I knew that once we got to North Carolina, I was gonna be surrounded by like my support system. And the main reason that was started the show was trending. Everyone was creating mom talk groups all across the world. Everybody. Right. But one thing that I did see is like not a lot of the mom talk groups like actually did meetups. It was like a select few group, like group of girls, like six or seven, they would get together, create content, and that's it. It would be just that exclusive group. I was like, I don't want that. I want more of like an inclusive group where we can do meetups and more people come, but not just like regular meetups where we're just like, hey, let's go walk out around the park.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

No, I wanna, I wanna interact. I wanna be busy, I wanna like have fun. So when we were in Washington, I made one post, just one video. And I don't even remember which one it was. I think it was like the dun na. Do you know that?

SPEAKER_02

Oh, okay. I think so, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I did that video to that sound took off. Really? It blew up. And I think within I want to say like less than a couple weeks, we were at like 20,000 followers.

unknown

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that's how you know what they're doing. Something they were That's crazy. Yeah, it blew up, and then I think um the big part of why it blew up is just like there was no other groups in that area like this. You know what I mean? Yeah, like you filled a gap. Yeah, like how you were saying, I love what that stuck with me by the way. What you said, you were said see a gap, fill a gap. Is that what you said?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah, see a gap, fill a gap.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, exactly. And I feel like that's what we did. There was no other like community really doing that. As soon as we started North Carolina Mom Talk, there was a bunch of other pages that were started around.

SPEAKER_02

Really?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So, like as soon as we started North Carolina Mom Talk, there were multiple other like little branches of like counties and um towns and everything that started their and so like it just kind of picked up a life of its own for sure. But it's been fun ever since. Like we we've been able to like collaborate with businesses and give back to the community. Like all these um nonprofit organizations that helped me out as a teen mom, they were now able to give back to them, you know what I mean? So, like um the women's shelter was a big part. And we were able to recently give back to them for Christmas time. We donated a bunch of toys and everything. Um the Peers program is a collaboration that we're doing this weekend, and they help um young moms, parents, families to just like kind of keep them afloat. They offer resources like classes and whatever. And so we're gonna be um doing a meetup this weekend to gain canned food donations for their pantry. Wow. Like stuff like that. Like I felt like there was no other mom talk groups that were doing this. It was just like them creating content. I was like, but we could do so much more. Right. So much more we could be doing with this. So as soon as I saw it like blowing up, I was like, Yeah, we gotta, we gotta move on this and we gotta like give back for sure.

SPEAKER_02

That is like such an inspirational mindset.

SPEAKER_00

I feel like they need to start doing instead of the T pages, fuck the T pages. Let's start mom talk groups at every base. You remember how I said like some people will come and they'll be like, oh, this is why I don't get out of the house. This is why I don't talk to anybody. This is bullshit. You cannot convince me otherwise. Every single woman on this earth craves that like village sisterhood feeling. You cannot convince me otherwise. Like anyone that has come to the meetups, I feel like it's so needed. Like you can tell when someone comes to the meetups, and like they just needed that, you know what I mean? So I feel like what I've learned is give more than what you take. Does that make sense? I just want to give more. It's just insane to me that people hold themselves back so much because they're so scared. You know what I mean? So scared to get out there, so scared to like make friends. And I really feel like people what I've learned is people are full of shit. They want friendships, they they want friendships, they want the community, they want this like girlhood, sisterhood type of thing. They're just too scared. And oh, girl, and that's why I'm over here. Like, whenever someone comments like that and they're like, Oh, um, I'm too scared to come out here. I literally, I don't know if you've ever seen my comments, but I'm over here like we highly encourage you to come solo. Do not come with someone that you already know. Come by yourself. We're gonna make sure that you feel welcomed, but we're gonna encourage you to talk to someone that you don't know because we want to get you out of your comfort zone. We want to get you comfortable and familiar with meeting people that you don't know. That way you can take that. You know, what's that? What's that? Um, is it rejection? It's rejection therapy. Rejection therapy. Come to us for some rejection.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god. Imagine. Imagine I walk in there and I'm like, okay, I'm so ready to be friends. I walk in. I don't want to be your friend.

SPEAKER_00

No, but that's the thing, is everyone's so welcoming. And I feel like the the very first meetup we did, I was so fucking proud. I literally could have been in tears because there was a group of girls. Uh, it was a group of, I think it was three or four of them. All of them. None of them knew each other. We sat them at a table all together because we wanted to sit people with people that they didn't know. And we sat them all together. They all exchanged phone numbers, they all hang out now. They're all friends, like connecting with each other. Now, some of them are pregnant, some of them are deployments and everything, but they're hanging out and they're friends. And I'm like, this is literally like the whole goal. It's been nice to like watch that unfold and it makes it feel like worthwhile.

SPEAKER_02

I love that.

SPEAKER_00

All the stress, the struggle, the setup of everything, and it makes it worth it because it's actually working. Like you get to watch it happen in real time.

SPEAKER_02

I love that. Oh my god, you're literally like, you're such a like an innovative mind. I like love it.

SPEAKER_00

You should see my notebook. I'm like over here, like jotting down all the ideas.

SPEAKER_02

You have such an innovative mind. I wish we were closer.

SPEAKER_00

I wish. No, I'm excited for when if you visit, then we need to set up a mommy meetup.

SPEAKER_01

When?

SPEAKER_00

When? When we need to set up a mommy meetup during that time. That way you can actually come to one and like meet some of the moms and like meet some of the girls at a ten. Because it's not just moms, actually. Yeah, it's nice.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I like it. So not only get to leave my kids.

unknown

I love it.

SPEAKER_02

So not only are you the creator and founder of North Carolina Mom Talk, but you're also a content creator yourself. And when did like content creation become more than just a hobby? You were like, oh shit, like this is getting serious.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my god, dude. I feel like every single time I I cross like one milestone, another big one comes about. Does that make sense? Like, I'm like, oh, I'll set I'll set a goal, and then I reach that goal, and I'm like, okay, let's set another goal. And I reach that goal. So it's been insane because the first time I remember like getting paid for a collab and it was like 50 bucks. And I thought that was like groundbreaking.

SPEAKER_02

That's the coolest thing. It was really nice.

SPEAKER_00

And then like when I set myself up for like my first like thousand dollars, I was like, I can make this into like a whole thing. Yeah, this can be a career. And I I think at that point, David saw I was getting paid like a couple bucks here and there, and he's like, Oh, this is cool. And like he's over here supporting me and everything. But once it became like, oh, I you know, breadwinner over here, he was like, you know what? He's like, Do you need me to set a time aside for doing videos? So that's insane because and then partnering with like some of my favorite brands that I use every single day around the house. You know what I mean? So that's been insane. We get to meet um like the team members behind the brands, which is really crazy. That's fun. But no, I I think once I saw that I can start like actually contributing towards a household aside from just like, you know, helping with the kids and actually helping with the finances, that was that was pretty groundbreaking. And once I saw that, like I was able to give back because of the platform. That was a big thing. Over the community and over other groups and everything to like do more, do this, contribute this. So that was, I was like, holy shit. Like people were reaching out to me and they were like, hey, we want to collab with you. I was like, okay, this this is a this is bigger than I thought, and it was really scary.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. You have been reached out to by so many brands, and one of them being Dr. Pepper. And how did that make you feel? I would have, I would have died. Sorry. I would have died.

SPEAKER_00

Girl, the way I damn near like scared the living shit out of David. I was upstairs with the baby. He was downstairs. And when I got that message, I screamed so loud. Because that that was my moment. I remember when I first started posting on social media, I was like, if Dr. Pepper reaches out, I just want Dr. Pepper to follow me, reach out. If I get on their PR list, whatever. And when I got that message, girl, I was like, gagged. I would have died. Fucking. Oh, I was dead. Do you know how much Dr. Pepper I drink a day?

SPEAKER_01

Look.

unknown

Yep.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know about the zero, but listen, the zero, I I love the zero girl. I don't give a butt.

SPEAKER_00

I need to feel that shit in my bones. You know what I mean? Like, I want to be jumping off the walls and shit. But I love Dr. Pepper. And that was one of the brands where I was like, oh, that'll be my I made you moment. That'll be like no one can convince me otherwise. Like I could die happy at that point. That was it. And I was like, this is insane. I told my brother to, he was at work, and I called him like 16 times. He's like, I'm at fucking work. I'm like, it's SOS, emergency. Call me. He calls me. He thinks it's like an actual emergency. I was like, Dr. Pepper.

SPEAKER_02

And he's like, beep, beep, beep.

SPEAKER_04

He's like, Alyssa. I know you so fiss.

SPEAKER_02

So what do people not realize when it comes to the work that you put in being a content creator?

SPEAKER_00

Do you know that meme where it's like, try working by you know what I mean? Or what no, it was like um that one makeup artist. What did she say is that?

SPEAKER_02

It was Michaela.

SPEAKER_00

Try for a day. No, girl, I low-key kind of subject.

SPEAKER_04

I was like, don't cancel me, guys.

SPEAKER_00

But you know what? That's like a whole activation. Like, I'm working with brands, I'm creating content for them. And then I have the kids with me full time too. My parents help out a lot. David helps out a lot too. When it comes to events, I don't take the kids with me. But um it, I don't think people understand like how much dedication it actually takes. There's a reason why there's so many mom talk groups and everything that were started, or so many people that do start social media and they don't follow through because it is very time consuming. It is like if you actually pour into it the way that you should and actually like try to make something out of it, other than just like creating silly little videos, and you actually want to monetize, you gotta put in the fucking work. You have to like my drafts is sitting at like damn near 50 videos, and I'm mass recording all the time. I'm dedicating time of the day. I'm traveling all over North Carolina. I'm trying to Florida last time to just network.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So it is a lot of time and dedication. But like even my friends who just started content creation, you know, she started it and she's like, Oh, I feel like I'm boring. I don't have anything that contributes to social media. And I'm telling you, like, there is always gonna be someone on the internet that has the exact same niche as you. You think you're boring, but there's gonna be someone who likes the same stuff as you. So I might not be into like sourdough making in like homestead life, whatever. There are people who eat that shit up.

SPEAKER_02

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And I was like, there's going to be a niche for everyone. Anyone can create content. You have to dedicate the time. That's all it is.

SPEAKER_02

Do you think like one of the biggest things in content creation is just being consistent, regardless of the views?

SPEAKER_00

Oh yeah, girl, I'm struggling right now. I don't know what happened to my page. Like, I would consist consistently get like a couple thousand for each video. And then I'm lucky if I hit like 400.

SPEAKER_02

So the algorithm is trying to get to know you again.

SPEAKER_00

And especially because I'm trying different things now, too. But I feel like they it's easy to look at those views, and then like, especially with me, I have a decent following, and I'm like, 12,000 followers, but only 400 views. This isn't adding up, you know? Like, so it is easy to get discouraged, but like you just have to you hear it all the time. You just have to keep posting.

SPEAKER_02

Every day, no matter what. Fine what works for you.

SPEAKER_00

No, I I do take days off. I don't post on Fridays or Sundays.

SPEAKER_02

Really?

SPEAKER_00

But yeah. Girl, I need a day off. So that's my day to like put my phone down and not really do anything. But um, aside from that, yeah, you do really have to like consistently be posting.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And trying new things out to see what works for you. And if something does get grabbed by the algorithm or like something does stick, like videos blow up. Mine is definitely the military spouse content and Dr. Pepper videos.

SPEAKER_04

Everybody loves Dr. Pepper.

SPEAKER_00

I'm at the I'm at their hand now because like at this point, I have to like continue to create Dr. Pepper and military spouse content because that is a majority of my following people who love Dr. Pepper and military spouses.

SPEAKER_02

That is insane. How many times do you think people need to post a day to essentially like start getting that traction by the algorithm in your experience?

SPEAKER_00

I I still don't even have that figured out, dude. I don't even I post, I've tried posting multiple times a day, but it's so hard to keep up with because you have to like continue to make videos. You know what I mean? So like I always try to have a certain amount in the drafts and then still like post and everything. So if I'm posting multiple a day, say I'm posting three a day, I have to make sure that I'm still recording at least six to replace those three. So I, if I'm lucky, I will post once. That's it. If I if I post more, then that's good. But I post once. I probably should post more, honestly. But your girl's tired. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Honestly, your girl is tired. You are a full time. You are you're a business owner. Well, mom talk is a business. You're you you you work with brands, you're a mom of three, like you're a homemaker, like you do a whole bunch of stuff, girl.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so I'm just trying to find like a a good balance right now. Especially like the baby's only three months.

SPEAKER_04

A little.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, he's still itty bitty. So like I'm still trying to figure out everything and trying to get like into a routine. I still have yet figured out a routine, especially with like my page, North Canada mom talk page, and then the kids and then David's schedule and everything. It's been a struggle. I'm gonna keep with one post a day and call it a day. But eventually, yeah, I would like to get more of like a routine down and post more often for sure. I also want to get more into like the military spouse content more. So I feel like I've kind of like stopped posting as much about that.

SPEAKER_02

I see.

SPEAKER_00

But I do miss it. I miss it a lot.

SPEAKER_02

You should. You should. This might be my thing. Encouragement. Has putting your life online has it ever made you feel vulnerable in a way?

SPEAKER_00

All the time. Um, I didn't even know this was a thing until like recently, but like the parasocial relationships.

SPEAKER_02

What do you mean? Have you heard?

SPEAKER_00

It's like where people watch you so much online, they know you they know you.

SPEAKER_04

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

It's like, so like we were at Target one time, and and she I don't think she meant anything by it. It wasn't like anything bad, but it obviously, like, as a mom, you just always have your guard up. So when a stranger approaches you while you're with your kids and addresses your kids by their name, that's concerning. You know what I mean? So I think that was like kind of my first sign where I was like, I need to not say the kids' names. It was before I had the baby, but um she had come up to us, she's like, Oh, I think I follow you on TikTok, your name's Allie, and I was like, Oh, hi. It was really sweet, it wasn't anything bad. But obviously, like there are bad people out there, very bad people. So you be cautious. And so that's one of the things. I remember when there was like there was drama with North Carolina mom talk because people thought I wasn't from North Carolina. That is like nothing. They're like, You can't make a North Carolina mom talk, you're not even from here. And so when that happened, had gotten messages and they had addressed my kids' names in the messages, and they were sending me and the girls death threats. What the fuck? Yep. Um, one of the messages that I received, it was like, wait till you get to Camp Lejeune. I don't live in Camp Lejeune. But it was obviously someone who watches enough to know that I am a military spouse and that I was moving to North Carolina, which I feel like doesn't take a whole lot of watching to figure that out. But it's just like, yeah, you po you post your personal life on on social media, you open a lot of doors. Um, so you kind of have to find a good balance, and there has to be boundaries. Boundaries is a big thing. So like I won't, I don't take the kids with me to any meetups.

SPEAKER_02

Smart.

SPEAKER_00

And it it makes me sad because like I do want to take my kids. Yeah. But I don't take the kids. You gotta be cautious. Any meetups. Uh-huh. And um, I just have that boundary. I try, I really my kids are so fucking cute. They're so cute, and I want to show them off all the time. But I I don't that's me holding myself accountable. I don't want to show them on social media.

SPEAKER_02

And that's that's okay. That's like your experience, that's your life, and you want to keep them safe. That's like nobody's entitled to nobody's entitled to your children, and nobody's entitled to anything that you have to do.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. People were entitled to it. There were so many times where it was just like it was like the entitlement. Like they thought they should know all the information of my life and like what's going on in my marriage and where I'm moving to and where the fuck I was born and all this other stuff. And I'm just like, it really is no one's business. So there has to be like good boundaries set in place whenever you are starting social media. I would start those like right off the bat. As soon as you start, go ahead and like jot down on a notebook if you have to, or like just tell yourself in your brain, like, okay, I don't want to do this. I want this to be respected. I want this, this, this. Another thing is like hate comments, you know. I don't give a fuck. I delete that.

SPEAKER_02

Period. Same.

SPEAKER_00

My page. Period. I'm gonna delete it. People would be like, oh, she's so mean. Like she commented back on this hate comment. Yeah. Yeah, I did. If someone's gonna leave a hate on my page, I'm not gonna Exactly.

SPEAKER_02

If you're gonna dish it out, make sure you can take it, baby.

SPEAKER_00

Like, no, exactly. Did you see that video we made about that guy's receding hairline? No, I didn't.

SPEAKER_02

Wait, what?

SPEAKER_00

Hold on, it's so funny. One person left a hate comment, and I was just like so tired of all the fucking hate comments, but look at this one. We said, um, when C when Steve with the receding hairline leaves a hate comment on our page.

SPEAKER_04

I've heard you see it. Oh, then you two now. I love that!

SPEAKER_00

No, don't say anything because I'll say something back and I want to hurt feelings. Or the safest bet is for me to block you. So count your blessings at this point.

SPEAKER_02

I love that. Period. Stand your fucking ground. My page is my page. You can get the freak out of here, homie.

SPEAKER_00

No, that's how I feel.

SPEAKER_02

Exactly. Okay, so you're so you're married, obviously. Um, so what's a marriage lesson that military life has taught you?

SPEAKER_00

Okay, so a little bit of tea. I was married to my oldest dad. Okay, but to be fair, we co-parent now. It is he's literally outside in the backyard right now playing with my fucking dog. I cannot make this shit. Really? Um Yep. Yep, he's out, he's here right now with his girlfriend downstairs. So, like, we have like such a really nice co-parenting dynamic. Um, and it it's been way easier than whatever the fuck we experienced while we were married. But I see like my marriage with him, and that was not a good fit, and it he wasn't supportive, he just wasn't a good partner. Um, and I see my marriage with David, and David is literally he's just so supportive. He's a golden retriever, honestly. He's a fucking golden retriever. But um, I see those two marriages, and I can easily compare like what didn't work with that one and what does work with this one. And I think I'm always like telling this to my friends, like, know your fucking worth. Do not settle. Cause if the first one's not gonna do it, the second one will. Yeah, I don't want to deal with the bare minimum. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

You don't deserve the bare minimum.

SPEAKER_00

Like I you don't. No one does. I feel like I know my worth. I know what my husband has to offer, and I know his worth. And like that's where like it's an equal partnership. You know what I mean? I he supports me in everything that I do. I support him. We we don't talk down to each other, you know, we'll have our like differing moments, whatever. But I feel like that's a big one is like within the community, it gets scary. People marry so young, and that was my case. I married so young, I had a baby so young, and essentially like I kind of felt trapped, you know, like where the fuck do I go? Like, even if I do leave him, what's that gonna look like? Yeah, it's so scary. I worked as a paralegal in Jacksonville, North. You did for a really for the women's shelter in Jacksonville. And so while I was there, the attorney that was my divorce attorney is the same attorney that I worked for, and he worked with a lot of um domestic violence cases. And during that time, I would hear stories, and there were so many military spouses. It was honestly like thinking back, majority of them were military spouses. And I would be sitting here, like reading the paperwork, and like you also get to go to like the court hearings through the women's shelter. Like they they send us to be there as like advocates and like just there to support the women. And I remember doing that, and like I'd be sitting there, and a lot of times, like you would just hear their stories and they felt stuck. That was it. They felt stuck, they couldn't leave, whatever the case was. And I just knew that when I left that marriage, if I ever got married again, I wanted to take whatever the fuck I learned from that one and make sure to never do that again with the second one. So it was like a a blessing, honestly. Like it's that was again, everything happens for a reason. I thank the universe every single day because I feel like that set the ground for me to find exactly what I needed with David. I feel like had I not experienced that with my ex-husband, I probably would have settled with something just as shitty again. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So it really is one of those situations where I feel like they think that, oh, they're providing the money. They're providing, you know, the income, the benefits, this, this, this, this, this. And it is like a pretty nice gig. But I think also forget like what we have to offer.

SPEAKER_04

Exactly. Which is a lot.

SPEAKER_00

So um, yeah, I feel like the biggest take is definitely like know your fucking worth. You have just as much to offer as a military spouse. A lot of people are gonna be like, oh, depend uh, you don't do anything but sit at home. This, this, this, this. Fuck you. Um, and it's always the same people. They all look the same when they say that shit, too.

SPEAKER_01

Sorry. You're so freaking funny. I like you.

SPEAKER_00

I like you. But like the thing is, like, you really you have so much to fucking offer. So so do not settle for anything bare minimum is not what you deserve. One thing you deserve way more. Bare minimum.

SPEAKER_02

One thing that really stuck with me is that you accept the love that you think you deserve. And that is so powerful with with your story because you really took that and you kind of flourished within that aspect of I don't deserve this type of love, I deserve this type of love, and you manifested it into your life, which is beautiful.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. What I had with my ex-husband is what I deserved. Like, it was not gonna get any better than that. I didn't think, you know, who the fuck's gonna want a really young young girl who has a kid with someone else. Like, I'm not gonna find anything. I really oh I believed that wholeheartedly. Like, when I left that marriage, I did not think I was gonna find anything better. And that's very much why I was like, fuck man. When I got on Tinder, I was like, yeah, I don't want to like find anything serious. Did not think, you know, when this this beautiful man came to my door, I did not think that was gonna like flourish into anything serious. And when it did, it was just like, no, I swear the universe like gave us each other. I cannot, you cannot convince me otherwise. But like it really is. Like you, I was so hellbent thinking that I deserved that. But then I looked at my daughter and I'm like, I don't want that for my daughter, you know what I mean? Like, if she were to come home and be like, mom, he did this to me, this assist, but I'm gonna stay with him. That would fucking break my heart. That would, for me as a mom, I would think, like, what did I do at that point to make her think that she deserved she deserved that, you know? Ugh, gross. Hold on.

SPEAKER_02

It's okay. It's real, it's real, you know?

SPEAKER_00

And see, like, that's one of those things where it's like, I remember looking at her and just being like, I want her to like see this man and be like their marriage, you know. I see mom and dad kissing, and like, what if her biggest trauma in life is that her parents are overly affectionate?

SPEAKER_04

That's the best trauma to have.

SPEAKER_00

Girl, give me that trauma. Like, but that's one of those things. It's like I wanted that for her. I wanted her to look up to someone, and like she still has her dad in her life. Um, he's very active, great dad. He just, you know, we weren't great together. That's okay. And that's okay. And like now we have, you know, his girlfriend in our life, and I love her. I thank God for her every single day. She's amazing. But um, no, like I once I got out of that mindset, it was great because I set the tone and I was like, I deserve better. I'm not gonna settle for anything less than perfection. And I I feel like that's what I got. And I, and you know what? Like, even now, I'll be like, David, I have high expectations, you're not meeting them right now. So, yeah, it's like I love that. I just wish everyone, honestly, like get out of those shitty situations, or at the very least, like try to fix the situation that you're in right now if you can. And if you can't, then go find better by yourself or go find better with someone else.

SPEAKER_02

It's so refreshing to like. Hear another spouse speak about their significant other the way that I speak about mine. Like, Dominic is like, I don't know, I just relate to you in so many ways when it comes to how much oh, I'll talk shit about given. No, trust me. Trust me, but like it's underneath everything. Like, that is your person, that is your partner. Like, that is like your soul, your soul bonded. You guys like are gonna find each other in every single universe, every single lifetime, you know what I mean? Like, you see, like you know that, you know what I mean? And it's so refreshing to hear another spouse speak about their partner that way.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Because I would like my friends too, like Miranda. Oh my god, her and her husband. They are the fucking you think me and David are cute? No, they are the cutest fucking couple. It's disgusting. It's kind of gross. Um and then like same thing with Kayla, like we shit on her husband all the time just because um he's funny. Don't tell him I ever said that because he's stupid too. But but like we shit on him all the time, but he's honestly like such a good dad, and like he's an amazing husband. Kayla treats her amazing. And I feel like I surround myself with women in healthy relationships as well. That is like what you were saying, you you want to surround yourself by that, you want to manifest that you want to, you know.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So I feel like it's a really good thing, too, is like we're all just in these healthy relationships, and whenever we see someone like not being treated, we're like, why the f do we need to like beat them?

SPEAKER_02

Do we need to uh beat him? Uh do we need to show him uh who's who's in charge? Because uh we will.

SPEAKER_00

Oh seriously, like whenever we hear that, because like we've had that, like where we've had like our close friends like tell us um like within our group and everything, and they're like, oh, so my so-and-so did this, and I'm just like, he is not that cute to be acting like that.

SPEAKER_04

Our conversations within our group are so funny.

SPEAKER_00

So I know, and I'm like, oh you're and you're so hot, you're literally such a hot problem.

SPEAKER_04

He doesn't treat you right, I will I'll get a divorce for you. We're living like the super less warming lifestyle.

SPEAKER_02

What's something that younger Allie worried about that older Allie would completely laugh at right now?

SPEAKER_00

I uh I thought I was going to like in high school, God, if anyone sees this from high school, in high school, I feel like I was in the wrong crowd.

SPEAKER_02

Really?

SPEAKER_00

I was, oh girl. A little bit of everything, you know what I mean? So um, I feel like I was, you know, like I I had my upbringing was pretty rough. So like um I feel like those the fucking daddy issues, you know what I mean? Uh that was rough. And so I feel like, you know, high school years, I was just really confused and just like trying to seek attention from wherever I can get it, and dabbling in a lot of things that I shouldn't have been dabbling in. And I I remember like I did not think, and I think that's why I ended up in the first marriage too, but I did not think, you know, I didn't deserve anything great. You know, I didn't think I was gonna have like great marriages, I didn't think I was gonna have like a happy life or like a stable, you know, household or anything like that. Um my income, I was I felt like I was never gonna be in a comfortable situation. Um so I think it's crazy because it even now, like I'll get messages from people from high school and they're like, oh, you're killing it. You're doing also fuck you, do not talk to me. But I'm also like, do not talk to me. But like I'll get those messages, and it is kind of like, you know, like I did not see that for myself. I did not see where I'm at right now. And so, oh, dude. You know those like AI pictures where you're hugging your younger, I did that one too. Like, I girl, I want to do that because no, I wish like I could just hug myself because and tell myself that, you know, everything was gonna be okay, everything's gonna happen just the way it needed to. And, you know, there's this journey you're gonna have to go through, and it's gonna be rough, but at the end of it, it's gonna be so worth it. So worth it. And that's like the biggest thing is everything was gonna be okay. I think I could if I could tell myself anything, it's everything's gonna be okay. Like just have a little bit of faith.

SPEAKER_02

Just hang in there and hang in there.

SPEAKER_00

Smoke a fat blunt if you have to, girl, like something.

SPEAKER_02

Wax. Keep moving forward.

SPEAKER_00

Yep, that's it.

SPEAKER_02

To wrap this up, we're gonna end the podcast with a couple of would you rather questions. Are you excited?

SPEAKER_00

I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. So would you rather survive a PCS move with toddlers but no coffee? Or survive a deployment with unlimited Dr. Pepper, but no Wi-Fi.

SPEAKER_04

Ooh.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah, but this is easy. I don't drink coffee, so the first one. A clop out, dude. You don't drink coffee? Nope, strictly Dr. Pepper.

SPEAKER_02

Are you serious? That's like your morning drink.

SPEAKER_00

I yep. The second I wake up, I have my first Dr. Pepper. You think I'm gonna send you a picture next time.

SPEAKER_02

Would you rather film a brand video with your toddlers helping out? Or would you rather film a solo video, but your kids are like having a total meltdown?

SPEAKER_04

Oh fuck, dude. Fuck me either way.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my god. Which one? I okay. I feel like the meltdown would be more relatable and probably get more views. So that one.

SPEAKER_02

Period.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, you're thinking like an entrepreneur. The one with the meltdown will get more views. Have them like in the background just screaming their fucking head off, and that be the video. There you go.

SPEAKER_02

That's so freaking funny. I love it. I know your answer to this one. Oh god. Okay, tell me. Would you rather give Dr. Pepper up for a year or Instagram for a year?

SPEAKER_04

Wait, that is fuck, that is hard. That is kind of fucking hard. I kind of fuck with Instagram lately.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, because my thing is, like, I'm trying to monetize on Instagram. But Dr. Pepper, like, that's your that's your boy. That's yeah, but it's not healthy. So I'm like, fuck, maybe I should cut back. But I've told myself that I'm going to have it. Instagram. We already know the fucking answer. I was like, I mean, it's not healthy. Like, I give a fuck.

SPEAKER_02

It's so not healthy. Stips tongue Dr. Pepper to the side. Oh, dead ass.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, yeah, I'll shut the fuck up. Yeah, definitely give up.

SPEAKER_02

That is freaking hilarious. Oh my god, Allie. All right, Miss Allie. Oh, Miss Allie, this has been so much fun. Are you kidding me? Thank you so much for coming on the Bass Buddies podcast and sharing your beautiful story. And thank you for sticking around and watching another episode of Bass Buddies. If you found value on this episode, please don't forget to like, share, subscribe, and leave a comment. If you are one of our listeners, make sure to leave a five stars. And yeah, see you on the next one.