HE USED A.I TO MAKE HER DO WHAT?? | Base Confessions

Hosted by Ley and Micaela, Base Confessions is a new series from Base Buddies where we discuss anonymous stories submitted by military spouses and stories shared throughout the military spouse community online.

In our debut episode, we tackle several difficult topics affecting modern relationships, including the rise of AI-related risks, pornography addiction, infidelity, and a story involving escorts and cheating. These conversations aren't always easy, but they are important.

Our goal is to create a judgment-free space where military spouses can feel seen, heard, and supported while navigating the unique challenges that come with military life and relationships.

Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of pornography addiction, infidelity, escorts, and mature themes.

If you'd like your anonymous story featured on a future episode of Base Confessions, stay connected with Base Buddies and submit your confession for consideration.

💙 Because sometimes the conversations nobody wants to have are the ones we need most.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I am glad I looked because I've also found that he's using AI to use my photos and make me twerk or turn into a thirst strap. Make out with his brother using AI. Make out with friends.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Hi! As you probably already know, this is a new series called Bass Confessions! So Bass Confessions is presented by Bass Buddies. And if you are new here, Bass Buddies is a platform to where I sit down with multiple military spouses all around the world while they share their stories. But Bass Confessions is gonna be a little bit different. I am sitting here with my new co-host Michaela. If you are new here again, Michaela was a military spouse that sat with me and shared her story on Bass Buddy. She was one of the first military spouses that sat with me. And we just got we just grew closer from there to the point where now we're just sharing. We're doing a segment together. She's here as my co-host for ever. No. You stuck with me, Lai. Literally. But Base Confessions is a series to where we read stories from military spouses that have been shared throughout the internet. Every month. Every month we're going to be sitting down and we're going to be uh sharing those stories uh with different themes. So how are you feeling, Michaela?

SPEAKER_01 1:43

I am beyond excited. I feel like this is really real.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

Obviously, these stories are completely anonymous. We're not gonna be sharing any details, right? But we're here to share some crazy stories and discuss them because this can happen in real life military life. Exactly. Exactly. We just want to have fun with it. So I'm so excited to get started.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

I am so excited as well. Oh my god. So these stories we found scouring the internet. We found them through Reddit, we found them on Facebook, we found them on random Instagram pages, and some in the foreseeable future have actually been shared by people like you.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

By military spouses like you. You want me to be honest? What years ago I posted in a Facebook group as an anonymous military spouse asking for advice. So I've done it. I feel like we've all somehow shared some sort of story that's really intimate to us. And it's not always like a crazy like story like we're gonna share today. We're gonna start with some really crazy stuff. Yeah. But we just want to have fun with it and drink our little coffees. And yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

So excited and so nervous because okay, so the premise of this is that we scour the internet together or scour the internet separately. We don't tell each other what the story is that we found, but there's a general theme. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 3:12

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 3:13

So I'm so nervous. Okay, oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

So today's theme is like we as military spouses, and if you're not a military spouse and you're watching this, there's this how do you say it, Lei? Like there's this like theme where people think a military man is gonna cheat.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

So today we've got like the cheating scandalous stories to get started. And shall we dig in? I've got this story that I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

Yes, mine is a little bit crazy. So Am I the asshole for not understanding why my spouse almost cheated with an escort? Me, 29, non-binary, partner, 29 male, have been married for six years. He's been in the military during that entire period. We finally settled in our forever home, and our previous tenants wrecked the home. I've been stressed out cleaning and organizing. My spouse left while I was showering, and when I asked where he was going, he sent back a two-word text just driving. Not odd. I would go on drives when I needed space all the time. It's about an hour later at this point. We had a contractor who came while he was gone to quote redoing the carpet. I finally texted him. Where are you? question mark. Contractor is here. He sent back went to the DMV and it's taking longer than expected. Makes sense. We moved to a new state and he will need a new registration. Long story short, he showed up another hour later and immediately puts his head in his hands and sits on the stairs. I'm thinking he couldn't get it done, or he's just frustrated, or he crashed into someone. Consider my shock when I ask about the DMV, and he says he lied and that he was going to get an escort. My heart fell into my stomach. When we first got together, I had one rule. Never cheat on me. He says nothing happened and it was too much work. He was going to have lunch with an escort because he feels like I don't care about him since I'm not affectionate. He apologized and said it will never happen again, and that it was just a weak moment that didn't turn into anything. But context. I'm not an affectionate person. I'm not touchy feeling. I try if he hugs, kisses, or touches me. I do respond, but I'm autistic, and I don't always think about how long it's been since we've been romantic. But we literally had S E X two days ago. For more context, I am a stripper, which he says isn't the reason. Men don't just touch me, and I have never cheated, and I always come home and tell him everything about my night and the men that I talk to. I have been to dinner with men as a stripper and been paid. Call that an escort behavior if you want. But I always tell him first and bring him home and bring him food. He says it doesn't bother him. I took my stuff and left. I don't know where I'm going, but anywhere, but here. So please, am I the asshole for not understanding? My spouse says he feels alone, so he tried to pay an escort to have lunch with him, but it took too long, so he came home and told me.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

Bloody hell. I was not expecting that little twist with the stripper story. Oh my god. What? Oh my god! I think if my husband came home and told me that uh there would be violence.

SPEAKER_00 6:46

Wait, so I don't think I don't think he's the asshole for not understanding. I don't think he is only because, or I don't think they are, they're non-binary. I don't think they are an asshole for not understanding because that's still cause that's like almost cheating. Exactly. Like whenever somebody attempts murder, they still get convicted because they attempted to do that. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like it's definitely they're not in the wrong.

SPEAKER_01 7:14

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 7:15

No.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

I think there's lacking communication potentially in the relationship. Um to go off that, they say they're not very affectionate. That's me and my husband, we have completely different love languages. He's not super affectionate, I am, but we work on like meeting and middle ground sort of scenario. Oh, it's so extreme.

SPEAKER_00 7:37

That's insane, too.

SPEAKER_01 7:38

But then I don't know how I feel, and no judgment here at all. Because low key, my mother-in-law better not be hearing this. But I've dated a stripper in my past. There's nothing wrong with that.

SPEAKER_00 7:49

There's nothing wrong with being a stripper or dating one. Like if you're okay with them, then that's your prerogative. But at the same time, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 7:57

They've they've gone out to dinner with other people under that career, but the spouse is aware, so they seem to have like a communication with her, which is totally okay. Exactly. With his actions, I don't know how I feel because it's a comp it sounds like a really complicated relationship.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:17

But like they're not in the wrong for feeling the way they do.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

I mean it's lack of communication, like you said. I feel like if the spouse that went to the DMV said, hey, went to the DM. That went to the DMV, said, Hey, I'm feeling really lonely. How do you feel about this? How do you feel about me hiring escort? And I feel like in that relationship, there's they're open-minded, obviously, because the partner who's a stripper goes and hangs out with other people for lunch or whatever the case may be in the post, they said, call that escort behavior. And so the spouse already knows and is comfortable with that, or at least accepts that about the other person. So with that being said, maybe there is like a lack of communication, like you said, along with I don't know, like setting boundaries, maybe.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

Like obviously the number one rule to them is like no cheating. I I agree. Uh yeah, there needs to be more communication and there needs to be a safe space where both can express feelings.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

Uh hey, I take this as a on the bright side that he did get home and like tell them that this almost happened. A lot of people don't, they're not honest. They always do something and they keep it to themselves. Yeah. I think that's a win in a way that he's very transparent.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

Yeah. I mean, yeah, that's true, at least, or maybe there was like a a guilt. But at the same time, this person said it took too long, so he left. So let's see what other people are saying about this. Yeah. Okay. I'm curious. Uh the comment with the most upvotes said, Maybe you both need to rethink your lifestyles. Could it be that he sees you flirting with other men? And even though it is his business, he still feels they are getting more attention than him. He didn't cheat. He thought about it and he came clean. Go back and talk with him and see what you both can do moving forward. That being said, if you can never give each other what you need, then end it while it can still be amicable. I agree. I think that like some really good advice. That's r right. That's really good advice. Yeah. That's why I had the most upvotes. But I totally agree. Like, he attempted to it. I think in my book, that's still under the umbrella of cheating. A hundred percent. It's not oh yeah, cheating. It's not cheating, because cheating is not like black and white. It's very like gray in some aspects. That definitely falls under the umbrella of cheating, but at the same time, the fact that he came back and came clean and told you, there's still some respect there, if that makes any sense. Like he felt really guilty about it, and so he came home, came clean, and then now you guys just choose what to do moving forward.

SPEAKER_01 11:01

Yeah, a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

So I don't think you're the asshole for not understanding.

unknown 11:05

Yeah. No.

SPEAKER_01 11:06

That probably just needs to be a little bit more boundary setting and talking about what each other's needs and how you can meet in the middle. And if you can't, like this person said, maybe you need to consider is this a long-term relationship, or could you heart ways on good terms?

SPEAKER_00 11:23

I agree.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

Before it gets messy. Hello. I really need advice on a sex-predicted husband. My husband and I have been dating on and off for almost five years and got married very recently. We got married and we were in the process of getting married in the Catholic Church. We have always been jealous of each other's past and curious of what happened while we were broke up, but I never thought it was an issue until recently. I found out that he got into my computer and saved all my social media passwords, and looked at old conversations with friends about dates I had, and he even took a photo of an ex's email from high school. Which I don't even know how he found, since I don't think I've ever emailed him. There were small moments here and there for months that felt like he was hiding something, and I just couldn't sleep one night and checked his phone. He has always lied and said that although I am Asian, he has never been with Asians. But I saw countless screenshots of dating apps. While we were separated and he was deployed, I found countless porn, and what was the most traumatizing is that I found a homemade porn of him saying, You like that D I C K baby? And moaning as a woman gives me oral sex. I was so shaken up, I immediately woke him up at 2 a.m. He freaked out, said that now I found those, it's over, and left the house. When he left the house, I kept seeing this flashing light from notifications, and I realized he had left his iPad. So I regret it and it's wrong, but I looked into it more. I am glad I did because I found that he had been addicted to porn and dark stuff. And also has been on dating apps the whole time we were dating. He has always said that porn is wrong and I thought we shared morals. Not only was he consuming them, he enjoyed them so much he made one with a person while we were separated. He was always concerned about my body count, but I have never done the things I've done with him with anyone else. Meanwhile, he is treating me the same way as others in bed, and I absolutely am traumatized. I am glad I looked because I've also found that he's using AI to use my photos and make me twerk or turn into a thirst strap, make out with his brother using AI, make out with friends. Girl. I am so disturbed and I am also disturbed that he kept everything. He says he never deleted stuff off of his phone, but the homemade porn he made with another woman was on the top of his hidden section of his camera. After he added that to his camera, he also added new videos he made of me using AI. The videos were made without my knowledge after we got married, and he claims that he wasn't he hasn't watched the homemade porn since we got back together. iPhone users. Is it really possible he didn't view the video again while we were married if there were videos of me using AI? Was added in the same camera mode. If he ever opened the hidden camera role or added something there, I am sure he saw the homemade video with this other woman. Although we were separated, he told me I am forever in his heart and we had a heartfelt short conversation a few days before he made that pawn with that woman. I am tired of his double standards and I am too traumatized to get anywhere near his private area. I feel like I was disrespected. He had SEX almost every day, and I try so hard to always please him and always look good for him, but it wasn't enough. I also saw some screenshots of an AI girlfriend chat taken recently and tons of screenshots of women and porn. I would get rejected sometimes for sex and he would say he couldn't wait, so he pleased himself to photos of me while I was at work. And now he doesn't have the energy, but now I feel like he was just lusting over other women. He is extremely apologetic and told me that he is thankful that I caught him because now he is forced to face himself. He has been going to emergency counselling and praying the roseb rosary, but I feel so b betrayed. I don't know where to start to forgive him, and I fear that it's too late. I'm only 23 and feel like I have too much precious time left to be treated like this, and I don't even know how to unsee the homemade porn. He has apologized he has been feeling physically ill with shame, but I can't help but wonder why did I have to catch him for him to feel bad? Maybe he was able to suppress his shame and go straight into the porn after some time. He has saved so many photos of women's screenshots from a thirst trap, Instagram, screenshots from dating apps, screenshots from pawns. I don't understand why he lied to me, and always lied that he only dated blondes and Caucasians before me. Meanwhile, he has Asian porn and must have been involved with all kinds of people. I always felt insecure of my looks for nothing, and I can't help it but feel that he was using it to manipulate me. Also, he says that he had the app, but would just see it, would just use it to look at them and send it to friends, and his friends would share dirty things sometimes and stated he swears he never cheated, but might as well have been meaning these photos. Oh wrong. But when we first reconnected, he was in Japan on a trip for fun. We faced him all the time all the time and I was sharing recommendations since I am from them. While that was happening, he took around five screenshots of Japanese women's Tinder profiles. What is going on? This guy's a freak. Almost done. With a 33-year-old man with such bad habits, how will he ever truly respect a woman again? He always said that his favourite thing about me is that I am pleasant and I am not always looking for a fight. Am I in a dangerous situation? Should I forgive him? How? Question mark. We wanted to try for a baby, but he was insisting we need to have our Catholic wedding first. I always admired him and his morals, and now I am scared. I feel like I married a monster, and I don't know how we could ever make love again without making me feel used. Also, I've been relying on him financially. Quit the best job I've ever had to move from Hawaii across the ocean for him. I've moved nine months ago and I am so at a loss for words.

SPEAKER_00 18:33

Isn't that insane? This guy's like straight Goonin. Like he's like a freak. This guy's a freaking freak.

SPEAKER_01 18:41

AI?

SPEAKER_00 18:42

That's okay, first of all. He used AI. He like deep faked her, basically. Or no, he used AI to make her twerk. Like those great thirst traps. With her things? This is straight, like strength. That's illegal. That no, there is. There's like a there's like a legal thing. Like you can't. I don't know where it is. Please correct me where I'm wrong. Oh hell no. That she's 23. This poor girl. He's 33. That's disgusting. That man needs to go to jail. He's a freaking perv. He's a perv. He's a danger to society, danger to women. He's not a good husband. He's deeply ill and sick. Imagine all of the stuff she was able to find. Imagine all the stuff that she wasn't able to find.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

Oh my god, I completely agree. It's like insane.

SPEAKER_00 19:37

Like isn't that like the craziest thing?

SPEAKER_01 19:40

I'm sorry, but hidden folders.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

If it's at the top of your hidden folder.

SPEAKER_00 19:48

That's like your most recent one, I'm sorry to tell you. Like he was he was straight, he was straight just.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

That's a red flag that you have a video having S E X with another woman while you're on your phone and you're married, and you're over here trying to make your wife feel bad that you need to get married through the Catholic church.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Oh my god, that reminds that reminds me of the Josh Duggar case. Do you know the Josh Duggar of 20 Kids and Counting, 19 Kids and Counting? I haven't heard about this, but I haven't read the So Josh Duggar is part of this like millionaire family. They were featured on TLC. They were featured on TLC, and the show was called 19 Kids and Counting. So there's there's two parents, and it was, I don't know the mom's name, but um there's a mom and a dad, I don't remember their names, but uh they had 19 kids. It started off with 17, but then it increased to 19. And like our whole premise was that they were super religious, like super with the Lord, like very like you know what I'm saying, like very like to the T. As things like progressed and like the kids grew up and stuff like that. Josh, he's the oldest out of the 19 kids. He moved out, uh he married this other religious girl from a different religious family. But it came out in 2015 that he was in the Ashley Madison scandal. Do you remember?

SPEAKER_01 21:13

Oh, I remember that.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

The Ashley Madison scandal. And so that was number one. He supposedly, or he allegedly apologized, his wife took him back, whatever the case may be. And then recently, I would say maybe like a year or two ago, please correct me on the timeline, he was found. He was literally arrested because they found child SA. No, they found like disgusting things on his work laptop. He was literally in the parking lot from his like used car business, telling his wife, hey, I'm going to be late for work, but instead he was sitting in the car parking lot being disgusting and downloading shit. From like the black, dark web. Isn't that insane? Yeah, this is like insane.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

Isn't that insane? Okay, I'll I will give it this guy hasn't gone that far to do that sort of stuff. But to me, the biggest red flag is like he used her picture on AI on inappropriate videos. If I found stuff like that, once you have something on the internet, yeah, it's there forever. This could damage her whole life. Like what I'm saying. I I love Chat GPT for like job applications, yeah, for baby advice, but it can be so dangerous in that sense that like what the actual F. Yeah. Like when I read that story, I was like, wow. And I'm not a techie person, but like, how? That is just so concerning. And that it is not just her, but it sounds like he also is doing it for pictures of other women.

SPEAKER_00 22:50

Which is even it's even crazy. That's why I was that was kind of relating it to the Josh Duggar case because imagine she found all of that junk. Imagine all of the stuff that she didn't find.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

Yeah, I can't even imagine. I feel so bad for you, whoever you are. I know what it's like to leave your dream job behind and move across the world for someone. I'm very grateful. My husband's a sweetheart. But honestly, if you need like someone to speak with, please DM us. We're here for you. You shouldn't go through this alone. We can find ways to help you if you want to try and get out of this relationship. There's a resources on base available to you, but you shouldn't have to deal with someone like that. He's completely disrespected you and you deserve so much more, and he is obviously a very immature man. Yeah, I feel my heart goes out to you. I wish I could just give you a hug right now, whoever you are.

SPEAKER_00 23:43

Sometimes in those situations, though, like it's sometimes in that specific situation, like you sit okay. As a military spouse, and military spouses that have gone through this, because I know that she's not the only one, or they're not the only one. Not quite sure, it's anonymous. Uh they're not the only ones who have gone through like a porn addicted husband or a porn addicted partner. And though in that situation, they might feel stuck and they might feel like they really just don't have anyone to rely on because it's just difficult. You left your family, you left your job, you left the comfort of your own home, you left the state that you're in most of the time, and sometimes you left the country that you were born in. And sometimes we just have to like they feel like they just have to hurry up and just wait for the right time to essentially make their move because they really just don't have the reasons.

SPEAKER_01 24:38

One of the reasons I wanted to do this with you is yes, we're reading these crazy stories, but also we're trying to create a space where we share these stories. Yeah. But if you need help or you want to talk to somebody, we're here for you. That's the whole purpose of Lace Buddies, is sharing your story. Base confessions, we're sharing raw stuff that has never been shared with you.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

Ranchy, raunchy.

SPEAKER_01 25:00

And we're here for one another. Like we're a community. That's what military spouses should be. Exactly. There for one another because we're in this unique situation. We're far away from home. Yeah. My heart breaks for whoever they are.

SPEAKER_00 25:14

Exactly. Well, thank you so much for joining us in the first episode of Bass Confessions. This is quite different from Bass Buddy's main podcast. We share raw, real stories that don't necessarily get to be heard. Um and yeah, every voice matters, and we're here to share them, no matter who you are, no matter where you're at, even if it's anonymous. So if you are interested in, or if you're interested in featuring one of your stories, please make sure to send us a DM through our social medias, which is official Bass Buddies. And we'll read it anonymously. And maybe you can be featured on the next episode of Bass Confessions with Leian Michaela. If you found value in this episode, please make sure to like, share, subscribe. And if you are an audio listener, please make sure to leave us a five stars. We're so excited to start this journey with you and to just keep going. Alright, guys. See you in the next one. Bye. Bye.