Crisis Talks: First love? Can you even remember it?!

In this episode of Crisis Talks, we’re taking a nostalgic trip back to our first crushes, first kisses and teenage relationships.

From awkward primary school Valentine’s cards to disastrous first kisses and dramatic teenage breakups, we look back at the early relationships that shaped how we understand love.

We talk about:

• The embarrassment of childhood crushes
 • First kisses (and why they’re rarely romantic)
 • Teenage heartbreak and dramatic breakups
 • Celebrity crushes from the 80s and 90s
 • Why early relationships teach you important life lessons

Looking back now, those early relationships might seem dramatic, funny or even a little ridiculous — but they’re often the experiences that help us understand love, rejection and resilience later in life.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:22

Hello again.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Hello. Happy seeing you here. I'm going to start mainlining protein powder in a minute. I'm not surprised.

SPEAKER_02 0:33

I'd be doing it as well if I had to speak to me for this length of time on Zoom.

SPEAKER_01 0:39

Honestly, I am going to submit this for some sort of world record podcast recording. Don't go on holiday for four weeks again. I can't deal with it.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

I definitely will.

SPEAKER_02 0:53

Well, hopefully.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

All right, we'll take your microphone next time. Right, we're going to make this a quick one, I reckon, because we're uh yeah, we're tired. We've got podcast fatigue, if that's a thing. We have got podcast fatigue. So welcome to Crisis Talks, everybody. We are talking about, well, we've talked about our marriages in the main episode. So we thought it would be funny to go back and revisit some of our young loves.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

A lot of men are dead. Oh, it's not funny. Well happened, it's not funny. But they are. I mean, I'm going back to like when I was 14, to be fair.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Well, I want to go further back than that because I think that's that's definitely not your first two like relationships. I think it was. So did you never have any crushes in primary school?

SPEAKER_02 1:51

I don't really remember. I don't no, I don't remember. No, I don't.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

I really don't. I must have done, but I don't remember. I definitely did. I remember giving someone um so like not the last year of primary, but the year before. I remember giving someone a Valentine's Day card and putting it on their desk and it absolutely not being reciprocated and being absolutely mortified. Like 10.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

It must have been nine or ten, yeah. Oh right. Well, we started early, didn't we, back in the 90s? 80s.

SPEAKER_01 2:30

80s, but in the weird in a weird we had like a weird setup at primary school because we had they'd combined two years, so they had like so Matt Hinley's year, Matt and um like Johnny McCrill were actually the year above me, but we were in the same year in like in the same class at primary school.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

Oh right, I see, yeah, I see what you mean. So or it won't one of them, you're not revealing something on the board.

SPEAKER_01 2:51

Well, I think it might have been Johnny McCrill now. I think about it, now that I've said it. Yeah, I think it might have been. I can't remember. I can't remember. Yeah. Anyway, so yeah, we had we definitely um I definitely started young.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

Yeah, I don't remember doing that in primary school at all.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

No, I think I was just a bit of a weird little nerd in primary school. Do you know what? I think it might have been younger because that was before I went to junior school. So I might have been like eight, six, seven, or eight. You're a slot. Yeah, I was. I mean, that went on for a while, didn't it?

SPEAKER_02 3:29

Oh god, no, I don't really remember. I must have done. I must have done, I don't remember though.

SPEAKER_00 3:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

I don't even remember like early like primary school uh secondary school either.

SPEAKER_01 3:41

Well, I went to an all-girls secondary school, so that went out the window, didn't it? Yeah, oh yeah. What about um famous crushes? Who was that like do you remember any people that used to like have crushes on who were famous? Michael Jackson.

SPEAKER_02 3:58

No, I didn't have a crush on him. I didn't have a crush on him. He was no. Yeah, no, I didn't. I didn't like yeah, no, I didn't have a crush on him in that way. Obviously, I loved him as a performer, but I didn't have a crush on him. I'm gonna clear that up right now on the podcast. Um did like New Kids on the Block. I did! Who was your favourite?

SPEAKER_01 4:22

I think it was Donnie Wahlberg. Well, I think I liked Jordan, was he called? I think Jordan was my favourite. The babyface one I quite liked as well.

SPEAKER_02 4:33

Can't remember the babyface one. What was he? I can't remember his name. No, so yeah, do you remember? I didn't I wasn't like a bross fan or anything. I was a brossette. I also loved Morton Hart. Oh no, no, no, no, no, don't remember that. What was wrong with me? Why did I I mean going back?

SPEAKER_01 4:53

Do you know what? Going back as well, I even remember like when I was not little, little, but things like um oh god, I can't remember what the show was called. There was a couple of like 80s style shows. So do you remember Dempsey and Make Peace? Do you remember that show?

SPEAKER_02 5:08

Yeah. So I used to quite like Dempsey. Right, you got some weird things coming out on this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

I used to like um there was another show that I can't remember what the guy was called on it, that I used to quite like. I mean, obviously, Luke Skywalker on Star Wars, I had a crush on him. Really?

SPEAKER_02 5:27

Yeah, oh no. Can I even think about any fo oh this is weird now. Oh, Tom Cruise. Oh yay! Tom Cruise in cocktail. You're not a weirdo. No, Tom Cruise in cocktail. Not Tom Cruise in Top Gun. No, cocktail.

SPEAKER_01 5:46

Oh, I see. I liked him in Top Gun.

SPEAKER_02 5:49

Why did I like him in cocktail then? Why didn't you like him in Top Gun?

SPEAKER_01 5:53

He was really nice in Cocktail as well. Don't worry, it's the same Tom Cruise. I remember watching Top Gun with Joanna like so many times. I can't tell you how many times we watched that film.

SPEAKER_02 6:08

I don't know, I'm trying to think of any other oh no. Is this something I've weirdly blocked from my mind?

SPEAKER_01 6:15

What I just made is did you not used to watch Baywatch?

SPEAKER_02 6:19

No, not interested, no.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

There was definitely a lad on Baywatch and I can't remember I can't remember who what the actor was called or his character, but I remember that I liked him. Um yeah. Oh no, no. I mean I was clearly like a dog on heat, wasn't I? Yeah, I think everyone because I clearly wasn't.

SPEAKER_02 6:40

What was up with me? I did like Tim Burgess in the bush arts.

SPEAKER_01 6:44

I know yeah, we did like Tim Burgess, didn't we?

SPEAKER_02 6:46

Lovely Tim Burg. Did you see him on the Brits? No. I meant to talk about I've seen the I've seen the um I've seen the speech he made because everyone was saying that he was off his head, but he wasn't off his head, was he? He really struggled. Yeah, I think he was a bit like nervous, wasn't he, or something?

SPEAKER_01 7:02

But he wasn't he wasn't pissed though, was he? I don't know. He was on a table of of people who were enjoying themselves. Oh, was he? Which table? Uh Sean Ryder's. Ah right.

SPEAKER_02 7:14

Say no more. Yeah, but he didn't drink Tim Burgess. He hadn't drunk for years.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

He was on either and um oh god, what's it called? Plate brain dead. Primal Screams man was on the table as well.

SPEAKER_02 7:26

Robbie Gillespie.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

Yeah. So I get it looked like a fun table.

SPEAKER_02 7:31

Oh no, didn't despite him. I don't know, it just looked like a fun table. Oh, oh that's my kind of table. See, there you go. That would crush on them. No, I wouldn't but no. No. No, no.

SPEAKER_01 7:46

So so your who's your first ever date with date.

SPEAKER_02 7:53

Depends how you think of a date. I don't really uh I don't remember even going on a date. Oh my god. Are you dead from the waist down? No, getting out going out for a meal or something on about. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

No, like my first date was with Haddie.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

So well mine probably was then, because I he was like my first kind of boyfriend that I went out with properly. I went to watch Pretty Woman with him. Oh, I didn't do that. I don't remember going to a cinema or anything, did I? I don't know. Don't think so. Alright, I've got another one for you. Who was around the streets? Who was your first kiss with? Like your first proper kiss. Uh someone in school called um I think he was called Tom. I can't remember. Oh no, this is so bad. Oh Kato. This is really bad.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

Yeah. Someone in school. Do you know what's gonna happen now? You're gonna like get on that plane going to wherever you're going first, Mumbai, and it's all gonna come back to you. You'll have to write it all down. And I'll message you, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

It was definitely called I went like how old was that? I don't know, I was quite old. I wasn't like a late starter.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

See, I remember because and I went um, yeah. We used to hang out at Lostock Tennis Club before I met you, so I think I was maybe 11. What? You had a first kiss when you were 11. Yeah, 11 or 12. So we used to go up to Lostock Tennis Club and um we used to like play stupid games which involved kissing people and stuff like that, and I was egged on to kiss a boy called I think it was called Rob. It wasn't Pimlet, because that was another boy, wasn't it? Rob I can't remember his surname. Anyway, he lived around the corner from me. And I remember because I'd read maybe Judy Bloom or something like that recently. So I can't have been that. That's where everyone learned everything, yeah. And I remember reading that if you kiss someone, your lips went really red, and it was dead obvious that you'd been kissing. And it was a Monday night, so I knew my mum was out, and my dad was home, so I rode my bike home. And I ran inside, panicking that my dad had no idea to someone. Yeah, I can't believe you remember all this.

SPEAKER_02 10:25

I can't remember anything.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

Well, it must be like a really core memory for me, and like scrubbing, like really scrubbing my mouth to get rid of it, making it even more red. Oh, it was awful. I did not enjoy that kiss. Oh, did you not know? Oh no. He had a brace.

SPEAKER_02 10:43

Oh sloppy.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

Yeah, yeah, it wasn't good.

SPEAKER_02 10:47

Why are we talking about this? This is a terrible subject.

SPEAKER_01 10:52

Because you can't remember anything about your life.

SPEAKER_02 10:55

I can't I can't remember anything. I can't remember anything. That's so bad. But I do remember Haddy, I do remember going out with Haddie and then Jonna. And was it Mark then?

SPEAKER_01 11:08

Did you go straight into Mark?

SPEAKER_02 11:10

No. No, no, no, because I was no, I can't remember who I was in. But I kind of didn't really go out with anybody after that, not really. Probably just I don't know, copped off a few times, don't remember. I went out with that.

SPEAKER_01 11:25

I went out with Matt when I was 17. Yeah, I was gonna say that's what I said because it's straight to Matt. And mine the first like boyfriend that I had was that um was he called Matty? Matty Hill? Matt Hill? And he had a brother that Nick went out with.

SPEAKER_02 11:43

Oh, um, yeah, I do uh God, yeah. Well no, okay. James was he called amazingly, I can't remember. Shocker. Casey can't remember anybody. But then but then he Hill, he was just called Hill. Yeah, he didn't have a first name. Oh, he was he did he did have a first name, clearly, but it we all just called him Hill.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

But this was the era where everyone was like their surname with an E on the end.

SPEAKER_02 12:07

Yeah, he didn't even have an E on the end, he was just called Hill. Definitely she needs to write in about that.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:17

She was a fan. See, I remember more about her than myself. No, I don't even remember that actually, but I'm not going into Nick's first loves.

unknown 12:31

Oh god.

SPEAKER_01 12:34

Maybe we'll get Nick on as a special guest to talk about it for herself. Yeah, better look with that.

SPEAKER_02 12:40

I don't think that's gonna happen. I've got a special guest, somebody who's offered to come on as a guest. Oh, who? Nay. My friend Nay. Oh, she's a yoga instructor. Nice. Oh yeah. Wim Hof. Wim Hof instructor as well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:56

Can we do some breathing with her?

SPEAKER_02 12:59

I'm sure we can. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be good.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:03

Oh, she's great as well.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

Yeah. Cool.

SPEAKER_02 13:06

Alright, we'll do that. We'll do that. I'll get her on the podcast. Anyway, sorry, I went straight off the subject there.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

You did.

SPEAKER_02 13:12

I'm deflecting from the fact that I can't remember anything.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

Let's talk about um I can't I see there's just literally no point in asking any questions because you can't remember anything. Can you remember your first breakup?

SPEAKER_02 13:27

Uh yeah, well, my proper first breakup. Well, I mean, it w I like it it meant a lot to me, I suppose, when I split with Jonna. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:38

Did he double?

SPEAKER_02 13:40

Yes. Um But I can't remember how old I wasn't very old. I must have only been 14. Yeah, I think we were like 14 or 15. 14 or 15. But and I only actually went out with him I probably like two or three months, which is like huge, in it, at that time.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

But it was a lifetime, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_02 14:00

I think I had to take the day off school.

unknown 14:02

Oh, Katie. I didn't know.

SPEAKER_02 14:04

I'm sure I did. I think I had to take the day off school, I was so upset.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Did you come to our school one time when something had happened? I vaguely remember you turning up outside when we finished. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 14:17

Oh no, was that not to meet Amy or something?

SPEAKER_01 14:20

I can't remember. I can't remember.

SPEAKER_02 14:23

Yeah, oh I don't know. Anyway, yeah, that was my first yeah, he dumped me.

unknown 14:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:30

Very great height. Hmm. And it was like that in those days, wasn't it? I got over it quite quickly. I do remember getting over it fairly in like two days. Yeah. Day of school, absolutely distraught, and then by like Sunday, fine. Let's go into Wigampier. Oh no, I'm alright now, it's fine. Take this, you'll feel better.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

Um I think I did all the dumping, you won't be surprised to hear, with my fussiness. I remember dumping Matt, Matty, I think he was Matty. He bought me a gold ring, which I think I might still have somewhere, you know, for my birthday. What you dumped him for it. Well, not because of that, but not long after, because he was too nice, obviously. And then I went out with Ross the chef at um when I worked um the hotel, and I remember dumping him, and I did I quite liked him, but he was just a bit too much for me, really. And um I remember when I dumped him, it was all I hated doing it, and I went into work the next day, and he was a chef, and I was a waitress, and all the other chefs in the kitchen, as I came in for my shift, I was just like putting my penny on and stuff, and I just heard someone go, Katie, and I turned round and they were all stood in a circle with a match, and they all went and blew out their matches. I went, blown him out, have you? Oh no, did they? This is like the worst thing that could ever happen.

SPEAKER_02 15:57

How old were you then?

SPEAKER_01 15:58

18, 17 or 18.

SPEAKER_02 16:00

Oh god, oh no, harsh, yeah. Very harsh. Well, you weren't quite harsh, harsh. Harsh but fair. It's not very nice dumping someone though, though, when you're younger.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

No, it's not, and then I got dumped. Um, well, I got, I mean, I got binned off quite a lot or rejected quite a lot over my lifetime, but I got properly dumped. So I was going out with a lad when I lived in London, and I really liked him, like I really liked him. But he properly dumped me from a great height, and that was awful. I remember being devastated by that, and we worked in the same oh, it's awful, it's just horrific. I remember my boss bought me this because she felt so sorry for me because I was so upset, and I used to love Haribo. I mean, if I hadn't given up sweets last year, then I would still eat Haribo now. But she bought me uh, you know, one of the massive mega sized jars of Haribo to try and make me feel better.

SPEAKER_02 16:57

Oh I think you got over him though.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

I definitely did, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:03

Yeah, yeah, you were right. Yeah, you were quite resilient.

SPEAKER_01 17:07

Yeah, I can't I actually can't remember his name as we speak, so it can't be that bad.

SPEAKER_02 17:11

Well, you were very resilient then, yeah. Oh, it's all part of life, so it's trapry, all that.

SPEAKER_01 17:21

Oh, it is, isn't it? And it and you almost have to go through it all. I think back of all of like, and that's what I was saying about Neil in the main episode. Like, Neil was the first person I really loved. Yeah. When I'm when I realised I loved him, I realised that I'd never loved anyone else before. Yeah, I know, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a different thing though, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 17:40

Yeah, it's about future, and it it like I said, it's about being able to see your future and not them not being in it, isn't it right? Yeah, that's how I always used to think of it. Yeah. It's just a natural thing. And when you're young, it's not that, is it?

SPEAKER_01 17:58

Like no, it's let's be real.

SPEAKER_02 17:59

You go out to someone for like three months.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

But it's part of learning all the lessons that you learn, isn't it? You like you learn the rejection, you learn wanting something you can't have, you you know, you learn about all those important things that then when you get into your silver wedding anniversary, that's what gets you there, isn't it? Because you've learned all that.

SPEAKER_02 18:18

Yeah, totally. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

Oh god.

SPEAKER_02 18:21

Aren't we wise?

SPEAKER_01 18:35

We're not no but we're old. Yeah, we are old, yeah. We definitely are we were young once. You just can't remember it.

SPEAKER_02 18:48

I just can't remember it, no. Terrible. Anyway, no, I I do remember stuff. I do, I do remember the people who died. R IP ROP. RIP, bloody hell.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

Anyway, I think it's time to go. I think we've done enough podcasting for the night. Yeah, I think we are. You're gonna have to delete it all.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

Why? I can't wait to edit this lot. Oh no. Oh god, I'll be on holiday. I know there's nothing you can do. Nothing. You're lost in the Middle East somewhere. Looking at TikToks that I've put up. Going to what is that? Got a viral video.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

Well, can I say of me and all our listeners? Have an amazing time. Just enjoy it in the moment.

SPEAKER_02 19:39

I will, I will. I'll try not to cry.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

No.

SPEAKER_02 19:43

I'll put videos on as well. Yeah. On my Facebook.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

I'm gonna try. If you share videos, share videos, make sure you're copying the um podcast link and then I can remind me. I will.

SPEAKER_02 19:57

Because I am absolutely awful at all of this. I know, yeah. Yeah, I know. But you've got me. But I will, I will do it, I will do it. I'm going to try and get at least like a video of the reunion. Oh, I don't know how I'm gonna do that because I'll probably forget, but yeah, just a little video. Yeah, that'd be cute. If I'm not too absolutely knackered, because obviously I'm having the longest journey in the world ever. But I know, but you won't care about that when you get there. I won't care.

SPEAKER_01 20:30

No, I don't think I will. No. Exciting. Yay! All right, well, have a lovely time, darling, and we will see you when you get back.

SPEAKER_02 20:38

Thank you. Oh yeah, I will. Okay. Bye. Oh, I'll see you on. I'll gonna I'm gonna message you on Byron Bay Beach.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

Okay, yeah, I can't wait for that.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

That's where the next podcast is coming from. Yay. Love you. Come on, be excited. Right, love you. Bye bye. Bye bye, bye bye.