Crisis Talks: Can you take a pac a Mac to a rave?

This week on Crisis Talks, Katy and Katie continue their hilarious deep dive into how nights out evolve as you get older - from chaotic clubbing memories to carefully planned “day raves” with strategic toilet locations and emergency Pack-a-Macs.

Following on from Monday’s main episode, the pair tackle a series of quick-fire questions about modern midlife nightlife:
What’s in your handbag now?
What time is acceptable to leave?
Which friend always disappears?
And when exactly did loud music become… exhausting?

There’s nostalgia, nightclub toilet therapy, conversations about ageing, and a surprisingly emotional appreciation for comfortable shoes.

If you’ve ever cancelled plans because your sofa looked too inviting, this episode will feel deeply validating.

✨ Midlife friendship
✨ Nostalgia and club culture
✨ Women ageing unapologetically
✨ Day raves and dance music
✨ Social anxiety and sensory overload
✨ Comfort over fashion
✨ Parenting adult children
✨ The evolution of nightlife

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Hi. Hello. Welcome back to Crisis Talks. Welcome to Wednesday's Crisis Talk. So we we're continuing our conversation from Monday's main episode, which we talked in a very random and fairly chaotic way about nights out and how they've changed for us over the years. So you're going to a day rave tomorrow. So we're recording this on Friday night, and you're going to a day rave tomorrow, which is Saturday, which kind of sparked our inspiration for this week's topic, didn't it? Talking about changing nights out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

As you get older, older. I was gonna say old then. Old. Older.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

So we've moved from so the first up the main episode we're calling Hangover Heels and Home Before 9 pm. Right. I like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

Oh yeah. Um not nine, ten. Ten? Come on, we're cooler than that.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

Okay. Um all right, so for tonight for tonight, for today's crisis talks, we've got some quick fire questions that we're gonna go through. I reckon I'll ask them and then we'll both answer them.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Go on then.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

You're ready for the first one. I'm ready for this. Okay. What do you take in your handbag on a night out?

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Uh now I take uh I take obviously my insulin, my phone, um lip balm, a pack of tissues, um sometimes a lipstick as well. I might take uh blush uh blusher bronzer powder just to touch up keys, I think that's it. I don't think I take anything ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

No.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

Well, I'll be taking a bloody packer mac tomorrow as well.

SPEAKER_00 2:19

Pacamac, yeah, packer mac for the rain. For your outside day rave on one of the worst May days ever.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

Yeah. Icy cold May Day.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

I take so yeah, I probably You don't even have a bag.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

What do you want about? You don't even have a pack.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

I do have a bag on a night out sometimes. Okay. Um depends if I've not got pockets. If I've got pockets, then probably just in my pockets, I would have my phone. But for a night out, like where it's a bit of an accessory, then I will take a bag and I'll put stuff in it. So I'll take like my inhaler, because I need that. Yeah. Do sometimes take tissues. If I'm on like a big night out, I might take not that I ever go on a big night out anymore. What am I on about? No. But I do quite a lot of work nights out. Actually, that's probably where I've done my biggest stint of drinking in late nights on things like that. Yeah. Um, so I might take quite a bit of makeup, so I'll take like mascara and everything on a big night.

SPEAKER_01 3:13

Oh, do you? Do you actually reapply it though?

SPEAKER_00 3:16

Never, absolutely. No, it's gonna say safety blanket. Yeah, I never do. Uh phone, I always take a battery now back up because my phone is my everything, and if I run out of battery, I'm dead. Um what else do I take? I never do that, I'm never that organised. Reading glasses now. Um, and I always take parasitesum.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

You, oh dear.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:41

Oh, I never do any of this. I don't even take my glasses.

SPEAKER_00 3:45

Oh, I have to take my glasses. Mainly on these work dos that I go to because they're always dinners, there's always stuff to read, and it's always like some charity thing that you've got to donate to. Oh, it's just so hard.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

No, you don't you don't need glasses when you're raving. You won't sunglasses. Yeah, man. Put those in your sunglasses in the worst day of the year.

SPEAKER_00 4:07

Look like a right dick. Okay, next because these quick fire questions aren't quick, are they? Right. Uh what's your earliest? Well, we've probably done this already. What's your earliest acceptable time to leave a night out? Now or back in the day. Now.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

Earliest acceptable time. I see, it depends on how long you've been out for me. If you go out at like if you go out at half seven, you know, like if someone has a party that starts at half seven, then eleven I would probably leave. Half eleven, something like that.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

I think eleven. I think eleven's. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:48

I like to be home. I like to be in bed before midnight, really. Yeah, the same.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

And then at least I'd I'd feel like I've had some sleep.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

Um but if you go out earlier, like go home earlier. You can go home earlier than that, but eleven. I'm gonna say eleven. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:07

Um what's the one drink you can't drink any more alcoholic wine? Not even like one nice glass with a meal.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

I can yeah, I know I can do that. One nice glass, but I couldn't drink it on an on a night out. No. I can't drink it. It just gives me it's just horrible. It it makes you feel horrible the day after wine. If you drink a lot of it, it yeah, it's not very nice, is it? No. I do I just drink beer, me. I just drink beer, and now I've even started drinking like um weak beer. So it's like you can keep drinking it and it it it almost feels like it's rehydrating you at the same time. It's almost like it's good for you. Uh Dave calls it drinking lager. Driving lager. Driving, no, yeah, yeah, driving lager, not drinking lager, you know.

SPEAKER_00 6:02

Um, I think what's my drink? I don't think I've ever really been able to drink cider since I was a teenager because we had some bad nights on cider, didn't we? Um I mean, wine, I couldn't drink wine like a night out drink. I struggle with prosecco now, you know, it gives me terrible heartbreak.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

Yeah, it's not nice, though. Yeah, it does. It's not nice if you drink loads of it. I do like a glass of fizz, I do like it, but loads of it no.

SPEAKER_00 6:31

No, not not like drinking it on repeat. Um, okay, what's your biggest hangover symptom now?

SPEAKER_01 6:40

Uh well, worst one. It's probably the the worst one is the anxiety. Yes. That is it, yeah. I can cope with a headache, I can cope with uh feeling a bit like nausea. I don't really get that though. It's anxiety, yeah. And I don't get to be fair, I don't get that as much when I drink beer anymore. I don't get it quite the same.

SPEAKER_00 7:02

So that's definitely a wine thing, Matt. My worst, my worst is sleep. I just don't sleep when I've had a drink. No, and even it and I've found now that it even just after one drink it affects my sleep.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

And I wake up and that anxiety feeling. The the last time I got real I had a real hangover after my party, and we'd got to bed about I think about one, and I think I woke up at about four with like a proper beating heart, like I thought I was gonna have a heart attack. So I just got up and came downstairs and lay on the but went lay on the couch and watched telly because there's just no getting back to sleep after that.

SPEAKER_01 7:40

So no.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

Till you have another beer, till you have another beer, which we did later on, and then we recorded our first podcast, so there you go.

SPEAKER_01 7:47

No, we did oh yeah, we did, see, so I'll do I'll do my gloomy hanging on the back, is it?

unknown 7:52

No.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

Okay, when was the last time you had a I'm too old for this moment?

SPEAKER_01 8:00

Oh that's a good question, isn't it? See, I did go, so I did go to it was a day rave, but it kind of was not a day rave. So it was during the day, but it was like for younger ones.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

So when we got there, the as soon as we got there, it was full of like 20-year-olds and stuff, and me and my friend Vicki sat down and just were actually considering leaving because I was like, we are too old to be here, and like some of they're all sat there like taking bloody ketamine or whatever, and they're all like me and Vicky are just sat there like two, like there's a there was a table behind us which made me feel better of like older ladies our age, all like get eating chips and like having a little meal.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

Do you clash yourself as an older lady? No, not in my mind, no. Well, don't call them older ladies then.

SPEAKER_01 8:53

No, but we are 50, then then you started to go, oh I know, but I I I still feel like I'm 20. Yeah, but then you speak to like people who are in their 70s who still feel like it, so don't you know, I don't think. But I did feel a little bit out of place, like I was. But then when we actually went through, so this is we stayed outside and then we walked through walked in, and there were quite a lot of older people, and then I kind of settled down. I was like, it's all right, yeah. And and then you you get a bit cocky then because all the music's like old music, so you know it all off by art and they haven't got a clue. So then you're like, Oh yes, well, back in the day I was like grandma, bloody hell.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

Um my last two old for this moment, we were at it was a work stage. Clearly, my only social life is work now, but um it was like a dinner a couple weeks ago, and it was a Friday night, and it was in Liverpool, so I was always already a little bit overdoing it, like just yeah. And um they had it was a dinner with loads of people in the room, so it was really busy, everyone talking, and the music was really loud as well. So, you know, it's when it's at that pitch in a room when you can't hear anything. Yeah, no, and I sat there at one point and I was trying to talk to get like we had clients there, I was there with colleagues, and I thought, I'm too old for this, I can't deal with this. It's such a sensory overload for my brain, yeah. That it was too noisy. I kept saying, This music's too loud, I can't hear anything.

SPEAKER_01 10:26

All right, grandma.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

Oh, I know what you mean though. You I I think that's your difference in your nights, though. You like sometimes you want to go out and you want a conversation with somebody, don't you? And you want to talk, you don't want noise, you know. Whereas like tomorrow is I I I'm not expecting any conversations necessarily with anybody. I'll have them over lunch and then we'll do lunch for that purpose, aren't you?

SPEAKER_00 10:51

Because we'll just dance, yeah. Yeah. But you know. Okay. Um have you ever well, I know the answer to this, so I'm gonna say, when was the last time you cancelled because you couldn't be bothered?

SPEAKER_01 11:08

I have definitely done it, but I can't remember when. And I I I'm not, I mean, I'm not I don't like letting people down if I'm honest. No. I wouldn't say I've probably been the instigator, but I've definitely been one of those people who go, yes, when somebody cancels. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've definitely done that, or been quite like, oh, why do we you know we don't have to do this? Come on, it's fine, we can do it another time, you know, that kind of thing. But I'm sorry, show me someone who's our age who hasn't done that, and I'll show you a layer. Um you must say you must agree with that.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

Oh, yeah, no, I totally agree with that. Yeah, I mean, I don't think these days I go out enough to cancel, like a night out is quite uh a one-off occasion, so it's like unusual. Um, I think definitely kids' days, like when the kids were young, there were definitely nights I cancelled because I just couldn't be bothered because I was so tired. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the kids are such a good excuse for that, aren't they? Yeah, and it's fair enough though. Yeah. And they I think they do impact on. I mean, we didn't touch on this in the main episode, but I definitely think having kids, that period of the 10 to 16 years of when you can't go out really as easily, and if you've not got like ready-made babysit and stuff, then you do kind of lose your social, your social battery weakens, doesn't it? Because you're not used to doing it. Yeah, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

Oh yeah, you just want to stare at a wall, don't you, sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 12:53

Yeah. Um I'm gonna flip these a little bit because there's three in a row which I think would be really good to answer all at once. So um what's the oldest thing you do on a night out now? So I suppose it's like what's what makes you feel old when you're out, or what do you do that makes you look old when you're on a night out?

SPEAKER_01 13:12

Well I was saying today, I was looking where the toilets were in w in relation to the rest of the event. Um I'm quite uh I honestly did. Um I'm not I'm not actually too bad. What's it like tomorrow when I get there, I'll just be like normal, I'll just be dancing about. Like I don't really but it's definitely like the toilets. I need to I I need to know where they are. Especially if I'm wearing like a jumpsuit.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

Yeah, that's important.

SPEAKER_01 13:46

You want to be rushing. Don't want to rush, exactly. Yeah, you need to be uh you need to be prepared. Yeah, I I I don't know. I don't think I'm too old with it. Not really. I mean I d I like space. I don't want loads of people like on top of me. I have to be like just get away. I I don't want yeah, loads of people. Yeah, yeah. I'm with you there. I won't be in the right of the front in the throng. I won't be able to do that. Whereas I would have been. Oh no, I would have been, but no, not anymore. You've got to have room to swing your arms and legs about, haven't you? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

Yeah, I'm trying to think what mine is. I think mine is probably more to do with comfort. It's like shoes and whatever I'm wearing. I've got to feel comfortable in it. If I don't feel comfortable, like yeah, in the olden days, you'd go out knowing that you felt a little bit uncomfortable or that something was too high, or that whatever, but oh, the shoes were too high. Whereas these days everything's got to be comfortable. Yeah, I can't do with uncomfort. Nope, I'm insane. Oh, there's nothing worse.

SPEAKER_01 14:59

Nope. Like wearing shapewear. Yeah. You know that holding pants. Oh, good grief. The worst, aren't they?

SPEAKER_00 15:10

Oh, taking your bra off at the end of the night, that is the most amazing thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:17

Oh dear. Anyway.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

Listen to us, listen to us. I'll listen to us all bids. Right, here we go. So these three made me laugh. Um let's I think I'll ask the question and then we'll both answer at the same time after three and see if we say the same name. Are you ready? Which friend always wants one more drink? Joanna. Joanna.

SPEAKER_01 15:55

Oh blaster. She's slightly better now, I would say. Isn't she? Is she? No.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

Yeah, she is, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

Yeah, she is, she is.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

She is definitely yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

It always used to be Nick, so I would have said Nick.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

Yeah. But changed it. Hold that thought. You ready for the next one? Oh no, go on. Which friend disappears? Nick Nick.

SPEAKER_01 16:24

Nick. Oh, 100%. God dear.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

Where's she gone? Where's she gone? Oh fucking hell, where's she gone now? Let's spend the next hour looking for Nick.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

He's not gonna answer her phone and is just gonna go back. Get into bed. We'll get home and find her home. Yeah. Or she'll have gone back, then she did decides she wants to go out again two hours later.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:53

She's listening to this, she's gonna be shouting out as much as she's gonna be. I know she is.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

We I'm expecting a message by Wednesday lunchtime. Um okay, and then the last one of my quick fire questions. Um, I don't think there is a one name to this, so I'll ask you first and see what you think. Which friend always becomes the therapist in the nightclub toilets?

SPEAKER_01 17:18

Oh, the therapist. Not now. Not now. This was I don't spend any time in any toilets now. Um back in the day. Well, Nick used to spend a lot of time in the toilets. Yeah. I would say Nick to me.

SPEAKER_00 17:32

Nick, yeah, Nick probably spent, but I think we all did a little bit, didn't we? Like, yeah, this was this is a big difference between going out now and going out in those days. Like the toilets was just as much part of the night out as the night, wasn't it? Like we met quite a few people in the toilets, made friends with people in the toilets, and stayed in touch with them after deep and meaningful. You in the toilet.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nick was Nick spent a lot of her nights in the whole in the toilet. You did, yeah. You'd go in and smoking, yeah, just chatting to people in the sink.

SPEAKER_00 18:06

Yeah. And then you'd always feel a bit sorry for the little old lady who was in there giving out like tampons and stuff. Oh yeah. Oh, and then they get their ear chewed off. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

Oh, life story. Come and tell me your life story over here. What brought you to this club to do this job?

SPEAKER_00 18:27

Oh, bless her. They were good times though. I quite like the toilet chats. God, you do spend hours in there. Although I think it probably does still happen when we went to we had a thing at school, Freyers Sports Awards thing the other week, and I went in the loo and I was wearing a stupid out, I was wearing a stupid jumpsuit, so it took ages to get in and out of. And I was sat like undoing and doing myself up, and there were some girls in there and the dramas and crying and uh oh my god, it was like listening to the old times.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

Yeah, it was good, it still goes on. Yeah, it's good. I like to hear that. Yeah, dragging someone's arm out of its socket to the toilet, yeah. Because someone had split up with somebody, or and then the boyfriend would try and get in, and all the girls would be like, Yeah, get out, she doesn't like you anymore. She never wants to see you anymore. You're a bastard. Gotta go through the wall of girls who've drunk four bottles of wine.

SPEAKER_00 19:33

Oh, yeah. Toilet fun.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

They were great times. They were good times, weren't they? But but we're here to say you can still continue to have great times.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

Of course you can. Even at 50, even as an old lady who's nearly 50, you've had your brows. I'll tell you what. You're going out to smash it, aren't you?

SPEAKER_01 19:51

Yeah, I will continue to dance until I can't. Oh, I don't want to think about that day, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:02

It's never gonna happen, is it?

unknown 20:04

No.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

Well, it will do one day, but you know.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

Oh shut up, it won't. Not for a long time. Not for a long time, definitely not. When we live in our um retirement community, are we gonna like build a purpose-built old person rave?

SPEAKER_01 20:19

Oh yeah. When we're like 70 odd, I reckon that you can like we could have a rave and then just like bring back like everyone smokes inside, everyone takes ease again. Yeah, and we'll just go skip. Because we're all gonna just because we'll all die anyway. So, you know, you've kind of gone you've gone over the danger point then, haven't you? Have you? No, but I don't think I'll be able to afford to smoke. There'll be like a hundred quid a packing by then. True. We'd have to grow our own. Might be good at that, it'd grow our own tobacco.

SPEAKER_00 20:51

Yeah, I'll I'll start now, I'll start practicing.

SPEAKER_01 20:54

The plants are very nice, they're very pretty. Pretty, aren't they? Yeah, very pretty. Yeah, yeah. Dave had some, they were really pretty. Pink flowers. Oh, see, that shows how old we are.

SPEAKER_00 21:03

I know, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:04

Pretty good.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

They're so pretty, the plants. That give us our illegal substances.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

Oh no, oh dear. Yeah, we can do that. We'll carry on, we'll turn it into a rave. Raving nightclub.

SPEAKER_00 21:19

That's the end of my quick fire questions, by the way. We're done. We're nightclubs. Oh, good.

SPEAKER_01 21:26

We're ready for it. Alright, well, you look like you want to go to bed, not go out.

SPEAKER_00 21:29

Do I? No, I'm fine. I was just leaning my hand on there like that while I was looking at you. Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 21:35

Not really. Been a long week. I'll let you know what I decide to wear tomorrow anyway. I want pictures of all the outfits that you try on. Oh, do you? Hmm. You'll be able to tell by my face, you know. And you've never sent me a picture of the cow that you drew either. Oh, I can't even find it. I don't know where I drew it. Dave asked me as well because he listened to the podcast and he went, Where's the cow? I went, I've no idea. I drew it on like a bit of paper. Don't know where it is.

SPEAKER_02 22:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

I don't know my notepad, but it's not on there anymore. Could be worth money one day, that. Well, I know unlikely.

SPEAKER_00 22:10

So next week, um hopefully we're gonna have a guest on next week. I'll talk to you that properly off the air, but hopefully we're gonna have a guest on it. I won't talk any more than that just in case it doesn't come off. And then at some point we're having young Jimmy Curry on, aren't we?

SPEAKER_01 22:24

We are, yes. He's very excited to come on. I know, yeah. I think we're gonna wait until he's got a job. Mm-hmm. And then we're gonna I've got to chorale him into getting up early. Or we yeah, we need to figure out the timings.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

Yeah, I'd rather up early than stay up late. Stay up late. I'd rather have early Jimmy than late Jimmy. And me too. Based on the Instagram messages, yes.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

Me too, me too. Think he'd add a few uh boxes of wine. Oh, that's alright. No, he's alright. He does he listens to it, he likes it.

SPEAKER_00 23:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:02

Which is good.

SPEAKER_00 23:03

It is good. More than my children do. Anyway.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

Lady started her job as well. She's got started her job. Oh, that's good news. Yeah, she's alright, likes it, yeah. Good. So looks like she's probably going to be going back to Australia in August.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

Ah, well, you knew that really, didn't you?

SPEAKER_01 23:25

Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, fine, don't blame her. I think the hail today finished her off. I think it finished us all off, bloody hell. Yeah, yeah. Finished me off. Oh god. Right. Well, you go then. Have a nice time. Have a nice weekend. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 23:45

Can you hear rave music? Are you gonna go and join in?

SPEAKER_01 23:48

No, it's not rave music. Oh, absolutely not. Joining in. I've got to save myself for tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00 23:54

Alright, well, have a lovely time at your day, Rave.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

I will.

SPEAKER_00 23:58

Alright.

SPEAKER_01 23:59

I'll fill you in next week. Can't wait. Yes. Whoop whoop. Alright. See ya. Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye, bye, bye.