Women Seeking Pleasure

Welcome back to 60’s Street. I’m Andie and today is the final piece of our double standard episode… we dig a little deeper into the quiet shame many women carry around sexual health. Why is it normal for men to seek help for erectile changes — yet women feel embarrassed to ask about libido, lubrication, or pleasure? It’s time to replace secrecy with self-advocacy and reclaim sexual wellness as a vital part of whole-body health. 

Transcript

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Hey beautiful souls, welcome back to 60 Street. I'm Andy, and I'm so glad you're here. Today we're continuing our conversation about double standards. But this time we're going into the doctor's office, into the quiet questions women often carry in silence. We're talking about why so many women feel embarrassed to seek help for sexual function and genitalia changes. While men of the same age are not only unashamed, but encouraged to seek help. So grab your journal, pour yourself a cup of tea, and let's gently unravel this. Because this silence, it's not biological, it's cultural, and it's unacceptable. Let's start with the obvious contrast. When a man experiences erectile dysfunction, it is widely framed as a medical issue. There are commercials, billboards, advertisements. The message is clear. This is common for men, is treatable, and as a man, you deserve to fix this issue. So you see, male sexual dysfunction is treated as a performance glitch, not a moral failure. Now compare that to the messaging women receive. The societal box says menopause happens. It's normal part of aging. There's nothing really wrong with you. You should just accept the changes, because it's part of being an older woman. And for uncomfortable or painful intercourse, maybe try lube. And if you've ever been down this road, you already know that lubrication doesn't help with painful intercourse. That requires hormones to thicken the vaginal lining. Believe me, I know how frustrating this is, because like many of you, I lived it too, was outraged by it, and would not accept that this was my fate. We do not have to fall into what is called the invisible woman myth. This myth basically says that once a woman moves beyond fertility, society subtly treats her as sexually irrelevant, past her prime, dried up, no longer central. And if we internalize that messaging long enough, we begin to question whether we even have the right to want sexual pleasure. Together we must change these outdated narratives. Research shows that sexual desire does not disappear with age, not even in women. You see the capacity for sexual pleasure is not erased by menopause. What menopause does change is hormones, tissue elasticity, blood flow, lubrication. All of these things are treatable and manageable. Yet many women are told that discomfort, pain, low libido are simply a rite of passage. But that is the rite of passage fallacy, the belief that women's suffering is inevitable and therefore not worthy of intervention. And when we believe there's no solution, we stop asking. We accept, we shut down. And the internalized shame we feel because menopausal hormone shifts brought all sorts of changes to our body, weight redistribution, skin elasticity, changes in the appearance of breasts, labia, thinning of the vaginal lining, which also affects our natural lubrication. So what can we do about these changes? How about if we take a comprehensive approach? That is a better solution. HRT therapies to thicken the vaginal lining, plant-based proteins to provide building blocks for skin, hair, muscle. Eat a hormone supported diet, weight training, low intensity steady state cardio, and appropriate targeted supplements like HGH and NAHD. Maybe consider a kickel chair, strengthening the pelvic floor. It will give you better sex, and believe me, your orgasms will thank you. And here's the physiological divergence between men and women. For many men, sexual identity is closely tied to performance. If erectile function declines, it can feel like a threat to his masculinity, which motivates action. For women, sexuality has been historically framed as responsive, something that happens for your partner's pleasure, something we touched upon in another episode. So if your desire declines, you might think, well, it's just over for me. But here's something that I've learned. Studies consistently show that healthcare providers are less likely to ask older women about sexual health. Sadly, the burden of initiating the conversation falls on the patient. Now imagine you are already feeling embarrassed, and your doctor never makes this a health issue to fix. Or when you do ask, they dismiss your concerns as normal part of female aging. And here's something else that I have learned. Many providers receive limited education in female sexual dysfunction, particularly for postmenopausal women. So when solutions aren't readily discussed, women internalize the message that their concerns are secondary. But our sexual health is not secondary. Our sexual pleasure should be taken as seriously as a man's. And if it's not, well, you know what to do. Find a doctor or a nurse practitioner who specializes in functional medicine and women's hormonal health. They are out there. Sexual intimacy affects mood, bonding, cardiovascular health, immune function, and our overall well being is dependent on that. Speaking your truth and seeking help is not shameful. It's responsible. Please understand, your pleasure is not a luxury. It's a part of living fully body, mind, spirit. And here's something else I've learned. There is no expiration date on sensuality, no moral superiority in shutting down your sexual self, no shame in wanting pleasure, in finding ways to make our bodies feel good. If men can treat erectile changes as a health issue, then women can treat menopausal changes as health issues too. Equality does not mean identical bodies. It means equal entitlement to care. And I want to say this gently. Some women may not seek help because they have already grieved the loss of intimacy. Maybe their partner isn't interested anymore. The relationship may feel stagnant. Maybe they've internalized that sexual shame we talked about earlier. But here's something I want you to consider. Research consistently shows sexual connection, whether partnered or solo, contributes to our vitality. So let that sit for a moment. Your pleasure isn't dependent on someone else, just you. Vitality is not vain. It's our life force. Before we part ways, this week in your journal, I invite you to ask yourself a simple question. Where have I ignored something in my body that deserves attention? Be honest, whatever it is, low desire, sexual avoidance due to changes in our bodies. Write it down. Then ask, is sexual pleasure still important to me? Feel that question. Let the answer guide you. That might mean researching options, finding a doctor, or simply acknowledging that your sexuality still matters and that you are open to exploring ways to rekindle that. Remember, you are worthy of pleasure and full body aliveness. Your erotic energy, she's still there waiting for you to show up and reconnect. Well, that's all for today. Thank you for cruising down 60 Street with me. If this episode gave you the strength to explore ways to improve your sexuality, share, subscribe. You can always drop me a note at 60streetpodcast at gmail.com. Until next time, stay wild, stay well, stay unapologetically. You