#29: Samantha Bove & Los Velez Jr. | Creating A Relationship That Sets You Free

You can't have the relationship you want until you learn to hold, manage, and amplify your life force. We will show you how in our upcoming course, RECLAMATION.

Learn more about RECLAMATION here.

Today you’re meeting Samantha Bove and Carlos (“Los”) — partners in love, creativity, and purpose. Together, they’re devoted to one simple truth: You can have it all — as long as you’re willing to be honest about who you really are.

Samantha is a world renown Reiki Master and dating mentor who helps women receive the love of their life without shrinking, dimming, or second-guessing who they are. Her work prepares women for a love that feels like a miracle — like home, like heaven on earth — where the ache and longing of a lifetime is replaced with being deeply cherished, adored, fully seen, and accepted for exactly who they are.

Carlos is a poet and musician devoted to helping people reconnect and unleash their inner artist — the creative genius inside of them that existed before the world told them who to be. Through his words and music, he invites radical self-expression and the courage to live from the soul.

From their very first date, Samantha and Carlos felt that their relationship carried purpose beyond themselves — that their love was meant to inspire, uplift, and be a beacon of what’s possible when love is rooted in love over fear. That calling has led them to share their journey openly, reaching over 21 million people through their courses, writing, videos, music, and storytelling.

They believe true love is only possible when you’re willing to be truly yourself.

Samantha's website: https://samanthabove.com/

Connect with Samantha on IG https://www.instagram.com/samantha.bove/

Connect with Los on IG
https://www.instagram.com/los.velezjr/

Follow Los on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/@NotLostJustLos

Join Their Coaching Program
https://samanthabove.com/datelikeaqueen

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Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

Welcome to the While Worship Man podcast, where men come to build unshakable presence, become the rock in their relationships, and build a legacy that lasts beyond their years. Here, we explore the path to mature masculinity through humble power, daily devotion, and unwavering integrity.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Thanks, baby. And before we get started today, uh we've got a free gift for you. Make sure you grab from Close to Connected. It's in the show notes. Helps you have the one conversation you've been avoiding and step into your life with more authenticity and courage. And today we have our first couple on the show. Today you're meeting Samantha Bove and Carlos Los, partners in love, creativity, and purpose. Together, they're devoted to one simple truth. You can have it all, as long as you're willing to be honest about who you really are. Samantha is a world-renowned Reiki master and dating mentor who helps women receive the love of their life without shrinking, dimming, or second-guessing who they are. Her work prepares women for a love that feels like a miracle, like home, like heaven on earth, where the ache and longing of a lifetime is replaced with being deeply cherished, adored, fully seen, and accepted for exactly who they are. Carlos is a poet and musician devoted to helping people reconnect and unleash their inner artist, the creative genius inside of them that existed before the world told them who to be. Through his words and music, he invites radical self-expression and the courage to live from the soul. From their very first date, Samantha and Carlos felt that their relationship carried purpose beyond themselves, that their love was meant to inspire, uplift, and be a beacon of what's possible when love is rooted in love over fear. That calling has led them to share their journey openly, reaching over 21 million people through their curse courses, writing, videos, music, and storytelling. They believe true love is only possible when you're willing to be truly yourself. Welcome, Samantha and Los.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

Thank you for having us. That was that was beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 2:09

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

It's so good. I read it out loud to Jessica earlier today.

SPEAKER_04 2:14

I was like, I was like, we should, I think we're gonna be friends with them. I like them. We already are. It just like fully taken shape for sure. We haven't traveled to the same place yet.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

Give it an hour, we'll be good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:30

So I think I'm trying to recall exactly how we found you to invite you on here. And I believe it was one of your videos where, you know, he says something like very loving and romantic to you. And then you're like, hey, um, will you just like say that again for the people? And it was just such a beautiful video because it's like, you know, like I don't like to have my phone out a lot when we're having moments because they're ours. But then it's like also letting people know that this is this is actually real. Like the level of love and connection and honoring that, you know, like Santa you and I get to receive that was not a part of like most of my life is um it's it's quite hard to express in words. And so I loved the video because I was just like, okay, this is like something that was literally just said a few minutes ago. And it's real, and you can see like the love like beaming from her face because it was offered as a free gift. And I just was like, okay, we we gotta get them.

SPEAKER_05 3:39

That's so sweet. Yeah. It's um that feeling is something the concept of like our love being our love. Like it's ours, but also like sometimes I am like I can't gatekeep what I'm experiencing. And it's something I'm actively kind of working with and through of like our personal love life, but also like this is our love life, you know. So I'm just I'm happy it landed.

SPEAKER_00 4:14

Yeah, totally. And, you know, our love, and when you said the second our love emotion to everyone, like the type of love that we experience in our partnership and the two of you experience in your partnership is actually available to everyone, although culture would tell you that it's rare or even impossible. And it doesn't just show up, there's some work required on the front end. So uh we'd like to hear from each of you about what it took in your personal processes to be prepared to receive this kind of love.

SPEAKER_01 4:54

That's a great question.

SPEAKER_03 4:57

You go first.

SPEAKER_01 4:58

Oh, me first. Yeah, okay. What it took to be able to receive it. All right, I think back and I'll I'll answer this question sort of nonlinearly. Right. But in the end it'll make sense. Um so I think back to it was probably 2019-ish. You know, coming out of a relationship that was nice, but uh we both knew it wasn't gonna be the relationship. Um and I just had a lot of time for me, I had a lot of time for reflection. I remember starting to just write quite a bit. And one day I'm sitting there and I start to sort of like I I still don't know to this day if I just like blacked out or if I was hallucinating or what started to happen. But I remember being taken to a place where I was sitting in front of uh a lake, and I was had this feeling of being a child that was um not allowed. And I don't know if you've ever felt this, Isaac, but being like a a a boy who was not yet graduated to being with the men. So I wasn't allowed to be with them. I was sort of um left to my own devices and left to fend for yourself and figure it out. One day you'll have your rite of passage and you'll also be a man. And that's a feeling that I had felt a lot. And I remember looking around and seeing like these mountains in my vision and this lake. And I look down at the lake and I see a little boy looking back at me. Um, and it felt like it was hundreds and hundreds of years before this current existence. And I just, but I related with this boy so much. Like I related with him. I was like, I know you, like I, I, I get you. And I kind of looked around in the moment in my mind and was like, who is this? Like, I need to be able to take this back to the present moment. And um the kid, his name was River Flows. And so I came back and from that day forward, I started to write under the pseudonym River Flows. And it's almost a dedication. So most of my poetry has been a dedication to that kid and that perspective, right? Of being left to your own devices and being told you need to figure out on your own how to be a man before you know you can you can join our ranks. And I'm not saying that's the right way. I don't think it should be that way, uh, but that was my personal experience. And so I say all that to say um that that was the beginning of me nurturing that child within me. And I started to over the years just kind of I would find little ways to ask that child, what do you want? What do you need? What are you looking to hear right now? What type of guidance are you uh you know, yearning for? And it started the the the work of it started to get more and more intense and to the point where I started to just meet with him every week. Every Wednesday I would sit down with him, like it was in my schedule, parent little me. And I just sit down with him, I'm like, all right, man, what do you want today? He's like, Oh, I just want to play. And I'm like, all right, is what it is. We're gonna go to Barton Springs and just just give the child whatever he wanted. And what started to happen was I think the most interesting part of of this, which is that that child started to grow in its maturity, in his maturity, and not in a sort of like, oh, I've been doing this for a year, so the child went from being eight years old to being nine years old. It was like it went from that first stunned experience, whatever age that was, to being like 12 and hitting that next experience, whatever happened then. And that just sort of happened throughout the last probably four years, um, where he went from being eight to being 12 to being 15 to being 21. And next thing you know, I'm sitting and I'm having a conversation with me. Uh, and then it came to a head right before I met Samantha, or right before we started to date, because we we had met each other the year before at a poetry event. Um, but right before we started to date, I had done that thing that people do in their 20s where they look up and they go, I don't like my job, I don't like the stuff that I'm wearing, I don't like where I am in the world, how did I get here? I'm gonna get rid of it all, move into an RV and just start driving. So I did that thing. And um at one point, one of the destinations on that trip, the the the child that I had been nurturing that was at that point the same age as me flipped. And it became the father, it became this voice that was now speaking to me and moving me, dictating to me like the way to move forward. And I it was an insane night, which we could talk about in detail another time. But I remember feeling that and going, whoa, like all this work was for a reason. You know, like this this thing was this this being was born out of this, um, that I look to for guidance and um and that I look to and honestly aspire to be, right? And it's within me, so it's it's it's such a gift. But to answer your question, that's what I had to do in order to be able to hold the container that is us and to be able to, you know, set the framework and the foundation for the kids that we plan on having and the family that were both actively essentially rehabilitating, right? And reparenting them right now. Uh like all of that needed to be done in preparation, which is funny because I didn't even know that that's what was happening. And I didn't know that that's what was needed. I didn't know that that's what was necessary. But in retrospect, um, that's exactly what was preparing the grounds. So it's it's it's yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:26

Um, before you share your answer, Smith, I just want to say, first of all, you're such a beautiful storyteller. Um I want to really highlight in this share of yours, like, you know, I'm I'm sure you have some of the same experiences in your work, but I will come across people either, you know, in community or in my work of like, oh yeah, like I've done inner child work. And however they've done it, it's like there is this lack of understanding that when you're doing work like this, it's like it really is an act of rebuilding trust. It's not like, oh, I talked to them one time and I reparented them and we're good. It's like, no, there's a difference in the way that this work changes people when it's like prioritized the way that you prioritized it. Like every Wednesday, I have a date with myself and whatever that part of me needs, like that's what we're doing. And what's so beautiful about this share is, you know, people want a love that can hold all of them. Um, I'm creating something for over the summer that I would literally just recorded a video on this for it. And it's like, you want this love that can hold you in every moment, but you can't hold yourself. Like that it's not about being worthy of the love that you're desiring. It's about being an energetic match. And if you can't hold like yourself from age zero to age whatever you are now and all of the things you've ever been through and all of the emotions, then the partner that you will resonate to you will be someone who also can't hold themselves and therefore also can't hold you in that way. And so it's really just beautiful to witness this arc of like, I didn't really know why this was happening, but I was devoted to it. You know, it's not about getting the thing, it's about showing up for yourself. And then you so happen to get this amazing thing at the end. What a gift! Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

So well said, like you hit on it, trust being the thing, right? It's like that little boy needed to know, okay, last week I showed up and I was kind of a nut. Well, you're here this week. You came back. And and and there's this gradual relaxing into the fact that I'm accepted regardless of who I show up as in a day, you know, like be just being me is enough. I don't have to, I'm not, I'm not like my output to the world or you know, my mood, or like I'm just me, and that's enough. You know.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

So without knowing that this work would yield the relationship that you have with yourself, that would yield this guiding paternal figure that would create this relationship that you have today, what kept you meeting with that little boy once a week? What kept you showing up to this work?

SPEAKER_01 15:31

Yeah. That's a great question, man. I I think um I think there are certain things that you experience that you just know to be true. Where it's like, I don't know why. I don't know, um, you know, I I I'm not sure why I feel this, but the thing I just heard resonates as true and it can't be debated, right? I don't know if you guys have experienced that where you where you there's these rare moments we get where we experience truth, like absolute truth. And to me, it was one of those moments where it was like I know for a fact that I am supposed to be doing this, and I know that it's really, really important. And there's almost there, there is nothing that anyone can say to me to make me think, you know, otherwise. And that's that's a really interesting place to be because one of the one of the byproducts of that time of my life was I actively stopped listening to other men. Like I, you know, I was in Austin, Texas, right? Where everyone is teaching something. Everyone is coming to you with their thing. And so my friends are like, hey, did you hear about this new modality? And have you heard about that? And are you gonna go to this place and are you gonna do this? And I'm, you know, for a while, yes. But it actually took me saying, No, I'm not, I'm not listening to any of that anymore, for me to actually figure out what my process was, what was important to me. Um and now I'm in a place where because I've gone through that, I'm like, I I would love to experience other men's perspectives, but not from the place of I need you to tell me how to do this, or I need you to tell me how to live. It's more so a curiosity and an appreciation of other perspectives. And I'm always willing to learn and have my mind changed, but it's not from a place of lack of guidance because I got that. I'm good on the guidance, you know what I mean? Um, so yeah, that that's a I don't know if that answers your question, but um if there are men listening to this that are that are at that point in their story where they're like, yo, should I be looking for someone else to tell them like I got this thing, I got a few things that I believe in, you know. For a point, just follow those things that you believe in. Those will lead you to truth and you'll figure out who you are. And it's even better because when you go through that particular evolution, you'll be able to come back and bring a unique perspective to these conversations when you get over that. Right. And you'll be able to provide something back to the world that only you can articulate.

SPEAKER_04 18:47

Yeah, totally. And, you know, as you're talking and speaking about this phase of like understanding your personal compass and where it was guiding you, the term that we use for, I can't remember if we share this with you, but the term that we teach is sovereign union. So it's like the sovereignty begets the union, and then that's generative for everyone else. And so it's like being able to have your own personal understanding of your own process and what works for you was for that phase of life, but it is like a huge key to unlocking this type of connection. So yeah, I just really love hearing that um, that personal, that personal attunement, really, because there is so much noise. It's like the number of people that say, Oh, I've tried everything and nothing's working. And it's like, yes, because you're trying everyone else's stuff, but like not really feeling the resonance, you know, your body really does know. Um, so yeah, what a what a beautiful path to to your own sovereignty, so that you could find your way to to this to this union.

SPEAKER_03 19:59

Um, Samantha, what about you? Oh, sorry. Beautiful.

SPEAKER_05 20:07

What about me? You know, you asked, what did it take, or like what was the journey to get here? What did it take? Just like it took everything. All the things it took them before we found each other. And you know, there's so many entry points, right? But the one that is coming up for me right now is my uh my dad. I'm very lucky and blessed as a woman that I knew a safe man and I knew what a protector and a provider felt like, like an embodied experience of a safe home and a loving home and a fun home. And I'm one of the women who can say, like her dad was incredible, like one of the no, the best man with Los I've ever met in my life. And anyone who met him would put him in their top three. And when he got sick, I was around 19, 20 years old. And I ended up with um a former partner who displayed uh, I would say like Hollywood masculinity. And only later, as I learned more and grew more, did I realize that was like really toxic masculinity. And that's not to bash him in any way. Like our we our souls were on a in a contract for a period of time. And it it was like wounded masculine energy that I think a lot of young women can mistake uh for like safety. And as my dad what health was declining, I can see all this very clearly now. I was just looking for someone to help me. And And like putting someone in that masculine box of like, I can't do this by myself. My dad is taking care of everyone. And now the business is gone, the house is in foreclosure. His wife left and he's in a nursing home. And there's no money. It's chaos. And I'm scared. Like, I'm really scared of what life looks like, what his path looks like with his diagnosis. And, you know, there was somebody who came in at the right, right, wrong time. And it took me five years to realize, like, oh, I actually could provide myself with safety. And I believe really, until I fully felt that, I wouldn't have called Lo Sin. I had to, especially after we separated. My dad had passed. I had to fully for me feel totally okay if I never, if I, if I met him. I always knew I would be with like my sole person, but I had to fully surrender the timeline of it. Like that feels really important to speak into. And when I was writing like my love spell that I call it, I wrote in it like, if this happens next week or when I'm 60 and I've missed the fertility window, and that means I have to mother in a different way or whatever. Like I trust your timeline more because I'm okay now. Like I know how to protect myself. I know how to sit with my big emotions. I know how to give myself joy and pleasure and freedom. Like I'm good. I got my people around me. And that feels like the most important work, which involves therapy and plant medicine and dance and fun and dating and expression and art and Reiki and all of hosting my own podcasts, so many things, but really that's at the core of it is like I'll be okay until he comes, or if he doesn't, because like I know how to daddy myself, I know how to protect myself, I know how to stand up for myself. And yeah, then he showed up like two months after I wrote like the last thing. And I was like, okay, here we go.

SPEAKER_01 24:16

There's a there's a lot to be said about that. Like, you know, Sam said, like there was there was still work that she needed to do, right? There were still things that she needed to clear out. We actually met a year before we ever started dating. And we both kind of knew like we have some things that we need to we were we were aware of it, you know, like it wasn't like an unspoke, well, it was unspoken, but it wasn't like we were blind to it. We knew that there were things that each one of us had to finish out before we would would would take something that was that felt very serious. It felt very sacred, right?

SPEAKER_05 24:56

Yeah, sacred.

SPEAKER_01 24:58

Yeah, that's a better word for it. It felt very sacred, uh, just like the initial connection that we had. And from my perspective, I was like, well, I'm not gonna take that lightly. You know, I I know what still needs to be cleaned out uh in the back, so I'm gonna go and and do that, and you go do your thing. And if if and when we come back together, that it'll be the right time. And so we were separated for a year, you know. We didn't we barely spoke, we messaged a few times on Instagram.

SPEAKER_05 25:31

He visited me in meditations. Literally, right? I would be like, Guy Los, like, God, he gives me this similar like feeling, like called, I would call like husband energy, casual journal prompts. Like, I had this weird vision of Los and I at a Hermanos Gutierrez concert. Meanwhile, like we would end up at that concert years later. I'm pretty psychic. And I would be like, huh, like either he reminds me of my future husband or he is.

SPEAKER_04 25:58

Like, guess what we're so sweet. We had some similar conversations like that in the very, very beginning. I'm like, I probably just like am similar to the person that you're gonna end up with.

SPEAKER_00 26:12

That someone come to me in meditation. I was like, it was so early on. I was like, it feels a lot like you. And she's like, she's like, well, was it like me or was it me? I'm like, we've known each other for like a week.

SPEAKER_04 26:25

Uh um, but uh Sam, I wanted to circle back to um this place that you got to of you know, I'm good. Like I can do all these things for myself. Everything comes within me. And um we've had conversations about like the the boss babe archetype that is beautiful, but there is a skew sometimes of like overprotection, like I'm good, you know, and there's a different energy that you're saying, like, I'm good, like I trust you, like I can do all this. I know that I can source from within versus I'm good, I don't need anyone. And I wonder if you could describe, especially since you're like working with women so frequently, like what is what is the difference of that somatic experience? Because I'm not sure that everyone in those phases know until they know.

SPEAKER_05 27:25

Yeah. It's, I mean, I think even in the way that you just said it was such a great, like embodied example of the difference because there's the like protective, I'm good, and there's the open, I'm good. And so I think the difference between the two of those is one has God or whatever name the listeners call God, source, universe, mother earth, whatever I'll I'll say God. One of those has good God, and one of those good has God, and one of them doesn't. And what I mean by that is I see this a lot with women that I work with and a future or a past version of me, where there's this, they're very say it's a very spiritual woman, woman, very intuitive, successful, very capable. And there is an over-emphasis naturally on self. And it's like, I know that my husband's gonna be like this, and I just know that, you know, he's gonna make this certain amount of money, and I know that, you know, I'm gonna meet him in the next few years or whatever it is. And it's like, yeah, but where's the God in that plan? And the I'm good. That like I've made space for God to ruin my plan if it's best. Like I really am pretty psychic. I have good ideas of like the timelines on things, and there's always this little PS of like, ruin all my plans if you must, like redirect everything if you need. And that's the I'm good. And so I think part of my work at that time, and now my vocational work is helping one relax the body, but the spirit to let that God in. And we can do that through so many things. Do it through pleasure, you can do it through dance, you can do it through female friendship, you can do it through a lover, you can do it through every woman has a different path to let God in. It doesn't look the same really for most people, but that's the difference. Yeah, is like one's protective and a super emphasis on I, and one it has an emphasis on like, yeah, me and God. Like this is a partnership here.

SPEAKER_04 29:39

Yeah. I was scanning through some of your more recent content before we were getting on this podcast. And I saw one of your posts talk about um, you know, most of the feminine embodiment stuff is like more feminine, more feminine, more feminine. And this particular post that you wrote was like, but actually, maybe your inner masculine needs to come on board in a different way. And that's that is kind of like the imbalance in that other um, I'm good, protective energy. It's like I'm protecting myself because I have to and not because I understand that, you know, God is the source of all and I just naturally am protected. And um, you know, before we were we got on this call, you guys were talking about women understanding the blueprint of like what is healthy masculinity and how do I like receive this energy from men if they're all in partnership. And this feels like kind of um the the bridge that we need to find between those things of like, okay, I I maybe need to work on my inner masculine, but I don't really know what it is because I don't have these examples of of men externally. So if you guys want to jam on that a little bit, we can bring that in.

SPEAKER_05 31:02

Yeah, for sure. I mean, just to to I don't like the phrase double click on that because I'm much more of a natural girl. We need to find a new phrase on that, new new phrase. I want to expand on that. Yeah, I'll just go to a classic.

SPEAKER_01 31:17

There is a word for it.

SPEAKER_05 31:20

I'll expand on that just for a second. It's like if if a if a woman doesn't feel like God has got her or call, like, say, the the divine masculine energy within her doesn't have her back, of course, it's so easy to pick someone to fill that role that exhibits a few masculine traits or has some money or whatever those things are that make you feel safe. And so yeah, it's it's really something to emphasize, especially in the world of social media right now, where it's like just be soft, be feminine. I'm like, yeah, but if you don't have a spine, you're going to collapse like into someone else, into potentially a harmful situation. So very passionate about it.

SPEAKER_03 32:06

Um yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:11

So the the number one, I would say, piece of feedback that I get from women in our lives, right? Like my friends, her friends, people that we meet just out dancing on a random night is you feel so safe. That's the number one thing that I hear from them. It's like you you just feel safe. And it's like just as an amateur anthropologist, right? What does that mean? When you when you say this man feels safe, I think it it's worth looking into the question and asking, like, what exactly what exactly are we referring to? And I think my hypothesis is you feel like there you're ulterior your your motives are all on the table. There's nothing that you are there's no like is he is he attracted to me? Is he does he is there like a back door that's for this? There's what are you not telling me? There's none of that. It's just you are who you are, authentic, I can trust you. And you know, if there's a layer of trust that opens up the entire door, that that opens up everything, in my opinion. I had this conversation with a friend where it's like we were talking about romantic relationships, and we were saying love is not enough. You know, love is it's a beautiful thing, but it's sort of like it's like the foundation. It's not enough. There has to be a layer of trust. Right. Trust is almost like the bridge between two hearts. It's like there's no way for me to communicate with you safely, except for me to send my goods over and you to send yours back if there is no trust. And so we miss the juice of these partnerships, these other types of partnerships in life, you know, because they're because that layer is missing. So when trust is established, and you know, I we have a really good friend, Jordan, for example, who is like a little sister to me. And she was going through a relationship issue probably a month ago, and she called both of us separately, and she got two different approaches to the same issue. And it was a combination of those approaches that actually allowed her to evolve um, you know, and actually complete this the cycle that she was in in that particular relationship. Right. And I think that's that's the piece that gets missed out on. Because if if I didn't have that trust with Jordan and she got Sam just Sam's perspective perspective, which is an amazing perspective, she could have missed out on some of the the the other side of things that really allowed that lesson to hit home. Um so you know, and and then there's also this there's just this aspect of like you can't be what you can't see. You know, you if you if you want to if you want to be in a great love or have you know these beautiful male or female relationships, there's no other option than to be around them and to cultivate them and literally attune yourself to the vibration that is that and you'll bring it in to your life, you know. Um so yeah, and and and that's not even to speak of you know how much men need to be learning from women right now. There's so much to learn from women. Uh and you know, but you need that that safe trust, uh you need that layer in order for those lessons to really pollinate, that's all yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:38

Yeah, the best compliment a man can get from a woman is you feel safe. Yeah, and even for most women to tell a man that is completely vulnerable because it means that she's free to show all of herself or more of herself than she's been able to before. What you said about all the motives being on the table is so important. I think lots of women just assume that men want something else from them, that men only want one thing. Um, and overcoming that culturally is a really hard thing. And part of women feeling safe around men is this masculine role of the protector. And a lot of men think about that as okay, if somebody was to step to us and pose a physical threat, I could handle that. Yeah, that's part of it, but that's like the most superficial part of it. Um, we share a lot that, you know, the greatest threat to her actually isn't like anybody out there. Like the chance of that happening is so low. Yeah, a bigger threat is anything that's unconscious within me that I haven't met at a level that it can rear its ugly head and come out. So another part of that safety uh that men can create for women is addressing all of the whatever you want to call them, the demons, the triggers, the reactivities within you that can allow you to create emotional harm, especially in in just a moment without you even making a decision. And so um part of the safety that we create is really through developing a relationship with our inner landscape and noticing uh the threats that that we might pose.

SPEAKER_02 38:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:33

That's really well said, man.

SPEAKER_05 38:35

So well said, and the other one of the other biggest things to expand on that is telling me that's right, expand. We just try to come up with some fun other way to say anything. Um a magical, magical term somewhere. Women saying you, this is such a peaceful relationship. And it is like, and shockingly so to me sometimes. Like, and I think it's because of the amount of work that you've done to dismantle your like bombs inside of you, your emotional bombs that you know I don't have to tiptoe around. Like, there's no like grenades in our household that like I'm scared that I'm are gonna be set off by me just like existing or me being honest, like any the few things that have really like touched a cord. You were so immediately vocal and articulate that that was yours and that you had feelings coming up that you would tend to and you do. So, yeah, that peace and that safety is like such a testament to what you have done, what you continue to do. Um, yeah. So the word that keeps coming up that I feel from you both as well so much with the mission that you're on with the podcast and the work is a generous love. Like I think that more than ever, I'm looking at our love and realizing what it takes for me to have this love be super generous and not in the sense of like um like a polyamorous relationship, um, a monogamous, generous relationship in the sense of just not being selfish with him and like really encouraging those connections, male or female, encouraging his art, encouraging platforms like this and him taking up space, and vice versa. And that is a different kind of relationship, you know, especially I think for women who have such a special partner and like you know it and everybody tells it to you. There is definitely some times where I'm like, ugh, I kind of just want to your mind comes. But it's us. It's like, oh, whoa, what does it mean to actually have this love be so much bigger than us? And I just think it's the best because it just feels way less selfish um and really important.

SPEAKER_01 41:17

Yeah, it's um it has its own challenges. I think that I think the like the bedrock of our relationship is transparency. Like a radical transparent, you know, to the point where I think it took Sam a little bit of adjusting to in the beginning of our relationship. I don't want to speak for you, but I'm still adjusting, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 41:42

I'm I'm pretty well adjusted at this point.

SPEAKER_01 41:44

I think I think so. Yeah. I think you're doing really, really well.

SPEAKER_05 41:47

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 41:47

Yeah. The it's like for me, transparency and honesty, they're accelerant, right? They just speed up whatever's gonna happen. So it's like there's no reason to be dishonest. Whatever you're feeling, say it and allow this other person, you know, they're a sovereign being. Give them the opportunity to express themselves, how they feel in relation to this thing. And if it brings you closer together, wonderful. Right. If you have a conflict and you evolve and you move through it, you're closer together, amazing. Now you're you're less heavy because it's this energy has moved, and you have a tighter relationship as a product of it. If it pushes you further away from this person, great. That's not where you're supposed to be. You know, I'm gonna speed up this process for you. And uh I I think that uh all people, not just men, not just women, there has to be this willingness to reinvent and start over.

SPEAKER_03 43:00

Yeah, yeah, there's go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 43:03

No, I was gonna say, is that something that you guys have talked about recently?

SPEAKER_00 43:06

Or we when we have something to say, we squeeze each other's hand and she's like squeezing over here. That's what we're laughing about.

SPEAKER_04 43:13

I was just thinking, like, as you are both talking of some conversations that we had in the beginning of our partnership, and um, you know, there was like an adjustment for me, a little bit of like some close female friends that he had. I'm like, well, like I want to know before you hang out with them. Like, I don't get it. And then, you know, the other side of it where it's like, okay, there's like zero issue or like breakability in our trust, or like no one we don't have any questions about what this is, but also no one who ever comes within like thousands of feet of us have any questions of what it is. I'm like, oh, like I get it. You are a huge resource for some of these female friends that you have because. Because you're the only one in the field right now, like this. And like the value that you bring to them being witnessed by you is like unmatched really in the community current, like at the time or currently, or whatever in their own field. And me understanding, like you're talking about, Sam, with just being generous of like, okay, actually, the more women who get to be in your presence, the better, because then they can recognize it and create it and all of these things. And the more people that get to be in the presence are love, the better, because it is generative. Like people we speak at retreats and stuff. And every single time the feedback we get is like, whoa, just like I got so much from that about what love can be. And it's not even what we're talking about, you know? We're talking about like nervous system stuff and leadership and whatever we're speaking on. But it's like there's so much medicine that comes through in the witnessing of a love like that or in the embodiment of a man like that. And it really was like a recalibration. And the other conversation I was thinking of is um really early in our partnership that he was like at a retreat I wasn't on. And I had been in an open relationship before. And we had talked about when we started dating, like, I just feel this deep trust that anything that either of us could ever want, like we can create here. And that level of like safety and trust just didn't exist in other places. And that's like a whole other story arc. But from that conversation that we had, there was this explanation of like, okay, and human attraction is natural. And like if there is ever a charge, like we just want to share it immediately because then we know what's going on in the field. It's this transparency aspect. Like, I don't want to be the last to know anything in our relationship. And I don't want you to be the last to know anything. Like, I want to be the first. And understanding that, like, sometimes that charge is also just because you have codes for people. Like there's like a charge amongst whatever two women or a man and a woman or whatever, because there is something that like you're supposed to learn from them. And understanding that like people want to be around safe men is, I think, just like what you like what you're saying, like a part of it. And um that is that is part of the medicine of of these relationships, I think.

SPEAKER_03 46:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 46:43

So, so well articulated. And the level of discomfort that's required in these conversations to get to a point to be like, I know if he's attracted to somebody, he's gonna tell me. Like, I'm never worried about lying, cheating, not an ounce of me, because I know that's our agreement. Like you, and you said, like, I don't want to be the last to know. But as a couple, you're the first to know something is up. We always know in a second what has shifted, what's going on, that there's some little pebble in our stream. And to have the trust and the relaxation of knowing that that's always going to be articulated and shared is beautiful. But that is after some quite uncomfortable conversations, but it's way less uncomfortable than cheating or lying or things not being on the table. And um, just to like give you some props too, Isaac, um, and Los, like your desire to want to be around women who aren't your main partners, to like pour into them and to share and to learn from them is also like how do I say this? It I I encourage women who are with partners who have no desire to have female friendships to actually think about it a little bit differently. Because if you only want to be around women who you're dating or pursuing or trying to sleep with, like, what does that say about your uh take on the feminine and how much value she has to give you? You know, like I know that Los wants female friendships in our community and to foster new female relationships because he values the feminine. And there's a difference between a man who values the feminine and who wants something from the feminine. And I think there are a lot of men who just want something. We all know those men from women. But I think unfortunately, those men have tainted the pool of men as a whole. And there are many men, and thank God in our community, and I imagine hopefully in yours as well, definitely in yours, that actually just value women.

SPEAKER_00 49:06

Yeah. Part of this equation is is women developing the inner security that they need, like you were talking about earlier in this conversation, and the men in their lives helping to contribute to that security. Cause there's lots of men out there who opt out of um who opt out of what's the word for a non-romantic relationship? Platonic? Yes, who opt out of platonic relationships with females to excuse their partner's insecurity. I know it would make her feel insecure. So I'm I'm just not gonna do it. And that's not really it. You know, that's like a band-aid. The the root solution is for her and for you to contribute to a sense of inner security where you can lean into relationships with women because you value women, not because you want anything from them. And that's like one of the big shifts that needs to happen in our culture for this narrative of like men versus women. I can only hang out with my wife for all of that stuff to end.

SPEAKER_01 50:09

Yeah. There's man, I'm I'm hearing it, and one of the things that's coming to mind is like I think that another reason men use that excuse is because they haven't developed the self-discipline yet to believe that they will that they can hold their own integrity in scenarios. Like you can't say no to the bag of chips, you know, like you can't say no to the you have to learn how to, oh man, I have I have a lot of I have a lot of passion around this. You know, being able to practice your own discipline and say no to things and hold yourself to certain standards, you know, when no one is around, I think is paramount to being uh you know a a developed mature man. Being able to develop that within ourselves. And there's there's so many there's a there's a war for for our attention and for our discipline and everything uh around us, men and women. But I can speak to the experience of men because I've only ever been a man and I I speak to a lot of men about this, but you know, you talk about um I guess it is okay to say on a podcast, but like pornography and uh you know just like this whole culture around all these things that are pulling men's attention and stretching them and and having them make choices that aren't really their ideal choices. You know what I mean? And it's like being able to develop that, I think, is one of the first skills a man needs in order to really elevate himself to whatever he wants to reach in in his life. Um and I think that's one of our our our biggest battles. And like I really do it, but if it could be over overcome, I think this world is a completely different place.

SPEAKER_04 52:18

We um so this summer program that we're putting out is about like reclaiming your life force and being able to sit with these parts of yourself that basically like leak your energy because you can't hold the spine or you can't um say no to the bag of chips or you can't be with these like inner parts of yourself. And it's all just because you don't have the capacity to like really sit with your own life force. And so you leak it into validation or you leak it into substances or whatever. And so, you know, maybe we can drop our our link because we're talking about a lot of a lot of reclamation codes here, but the whole thing is like about this. And the idea is like people go through this year-long curriculum with us before we take them into sovereign union codes so that by the time they're getting into these partnerships, it's like, no, you're already locked in. You're already locked in. You don't actually have to worry about like not trusting your partner or not trusting yourself because there's a hundred percent certainty in your own system. Um and I'm actually really curious about your both of your perspectives on this same theme, but like women in partnership having platonic male friends, because I personally have noticed my desire for platonic male partnerships decline. And my sense is that it's not like um like that's not the end all be all, but that's a result of my experiences with people who are platonic male friends, not actually not wanting something, you know? Um, but I'm not really, I'm not really totally sure about that. Like obviously we have community and like people we all hang out with, and like I have men that I adore, but just this like one-on-one conversations, I'm really like, No, I don't know how I feel about that sometimes. And so yeah, I'd love your perspective on like the flip side because I think there's obviously value in that also, but um, I'm not sure the timeline is the same as far as like everyone's healing journeys.

SPEAKER_03 54:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 54:41

I tell you. Um, I think so it's interesting is I actually today, today, like a few hours ago, made a declaration that I'm just open to working with men, like uh just having more relationships with men. Like I made it amongst two like 60 and 75-year-old men on a group call. Like three hours ago, I'm in a relationship coaching mentorship program. I have to tell you about these guys, they were amazing. Um uh with have you heard of Annie Lala? No, she's incredible. I'm obsessed with her. She's one of my mentors, and I'm in her program right now. And uh we had a breakout group, and I was I was put into a room to do like a practice, like a somatic-based practice with these two men, like gray hair the whole nine, like both had like fedoras on. It was amazing. And I watched them coach each other, and then I was giving feedback. It was so beautiful. And they were like, Smith uh, what's it like for you here? I'm like, I gotta be honest, Malcolm. Like, you are my least served demographic. Like, I do not really come into contact with a lot of men on the day-to-day, and nor do I of like your generation. And they were so encouraging and so sweet. And they were like, you have the the strength and the the softness to like really help men. And they were just like, you should, you should do it. And Los has been encouraging me to to just be more open of like, I used to work with men, but business coaching, not like matters heart. And I think it's just honestly for me, my next level of trust in the masculine, of like, you know, working professionally, if that comes in easefully. Um, and also like actually pouring into relationships, platonic relationships. Like I actually sent a voice note to one to Eli yesterday, just like congratulating him on a speaking event and like, you know, so I think it's required, to be honest, for me at least in my path, to like actually start to pour into some of the male lip relationships that are in our community right now. Cause it's the same thing. It's like they're valuable. So why am I only fostering those relationships through through Los? Then clearly I'm still operating in a paradigm where I think it's inappropriate. And if I actually want to shift that, then I need to embody it. Like Los will call his girlfriends and like just talk and catch up with them and pour into them and be poured into. And it's like for me, that's not like super common. And I would like it to be because women are obviously my favorites, um in a way, but men are amazing, and um, yeah, so that's that's my two cents.

SPEAKER_01 57:40

I think that it's it's it's unreasonable for us to think that we're gonna get everything we need from our partners. It just is. You know, there's there's gonna be uh certain male perspectives that uh that register with Sam in a different way that they just wouldn't from me, period. You know, like this is an example not necessarily of a friend, but just like a mentor, like uh David Guillaume.

SPEAKER_03 58:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:16

Sam loves David Guillaume's work. I don't know if you guys are familiar with him, um, but like, yeah, loves his stuff, and like we'll absolutely go to an event. Joe Dispenza's Joe Dispenza, like and and it's like, yeah, I can. I said some of that stuff to you. But like, you're not gonna, it doesn't mean the same thing coming from me and and my you know perspective on it. It's uh there's a whole school of work, there's a whole you know thing that this guy has going on that that works, and it's like yeah, I think it works the same in both ways. I do think, however, it it kind of it's like an aura boris, right? Like it kind of comes back to if they're safe, yeah. Right. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 59:10

There are no ulterior motives. Like I I work with a lot of men, and like actually a lot of my clients are gay men, which is just like awesome. That's like such a nice environment for me. Like, I love it so much. Um, but I have some straight clients too, and it's like in that environment, it was interesting to hear you say, like, I think this is my next phase of like working with more men. I'm like, oh, like I actually do feel like safety in the presence of men often, and but there's like a slight uh off-kilter dynamic than just like in community, you know, because I'm working with them. And so, and I've had, you know, male mentors before, and that has also felt safe in some ways. And there's plenty of men in our community that I feel safe with, but then I think there is this like stretch in my own process and a calling forward of the men in the community as well to be able to like be in these spaces a little bit more so that, you know, I mean, I'm really good at sensing when someone is off. And so I think there is just like as the women do feel resourced and and feel called in, you know, our past that it's opening. I'm realizing through this conversation that's like, okay, like maybe I do get to nurture more brotherhood and like the way that you guys are the the blueprint for women of this is what actually like the male strength is. It's like, okay, I'm gonna call you forward. This is always what you run from in your partnerships, and this isn't a partnership. So I really don't care what you think. And I'm gonna tell you that this is the way that it is because that's like the feminine medicine, you know?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:52

It's great to have that. It's amazing to have that.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:55

Yeah, yeah. So this is great. I'm learning stuff from this podcast.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:58

I mean, I always do, but I think that process for women of of leaning into male relationships that aren't their romantic relationship also gets to be a collaborative one because as I'm listening to all this, I'm like, okay, so I get to like integrity check like all of these men. And um just like having the conversation of like, hey, I'm gonna go like sit down with this guy. Uh like what's your like honest read on him? Right. And it's like, well, he's not like overtly dangerous. Yeah, you absolutely go have coffee with him. And here's some things that you know I've felt and noticed, and see if you pick up on any of that stuff. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, true.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:37

You know, there's there's obviously, yeah, like you said, works. It's both ways.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:40

Works both ways. Like, I want to highlight that too. Like, there can be people in his life or exes where I'm just like, I think she kind of still wants to be with you. Like, I'm just gonna name it. Like, there's something in the field that, you know, I just feel it a little. And I I think that was kind of weird that that wasn't mentioned, or whatever it is, and like the openness to have that be both ways, I think is paramount. And we're talking about safe men, but also women are incredibly manipulative and incredibly powerful. And and and that manipulation is not necessarily a bad thing, but it can be. We're incredibly smart. So, like, you know, I think it's important to also for any of the women listening, like, we all got to check ourselves because sometimes what we are worried about them doing is actually something that we're worried about ourselves having the capacity to do or to lie or to want something from someone or to want them to want something within us. And so that is also important because I think we also women have the capacity to want to take or want to, you know, be viewed as a certain way, or whatever that is. So it's kind of gonna put that there.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:59

Yeah. Thank you for mentioning that. So important. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:04

Uh pro tip, I think, for any women that are listening to this and they're like, maybe I should have more male relationships in my life. Um, so I was I was reading about this the other day, or I heard on a podcast or something. When a child is born, women get all the feel-good hormones. They get all the hormones that are required to bond with this child, right? That they're they're inherent. Uh men are we don't get those same hormones when the child is born, right? They don't they don't come flooding through us. We develop them through our physicality. So this is why like opportunities like, you know, when you're wrestling with a kid and things like that, there's almost no quicker way to develop those connection hormones than like wrestling with this child and like playing sports with them and being active. And this is why men have the tendency to bond through experience and action as opposed to just talking. Um, so the the road to like the the the my relationships with females that are platonic are like it's it's usually talking and being a safe space for them. But I think the road for women who are you know trying to make male friends is like go like do stuff, you know, go on a hike, go surfing, go like where you don't even have to talk sometimes. But it's just like being in this safe space where you guys are physically like doing things, you get these like connection hormones that kick in. Um and I I just think that you can really develop like a healthy relationship with the masculine doing those things and then invite in you know the the relationship as a byproduct of that. So just something to kind of keep what what are your thoughts on that, Isaac?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:54

I think that's such important wisdom because I'm thinking about uh relationships that I have with women and it's me holding space, you know, and I love doing that. But I've noticed as those requests increase that I'm less enthusiastic about it. I'm like, uh I don't I don't have space, you know? And maybe if we had been on a hike or been to the batting cages or something, right? I would feel like there is more of a reciprocal exchange.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:29

You know what's a little interesting about this recommendation is this is also my hesitation with hanging out with men that I'm friends with one-on-one because I feel like they only reach out when they want something. And I'm like, people pay me for that. Like people pay me for my advice on stuff, people pay me to help me them emotionally process. I don't want to hang out with you if you just want support and you're not interested in like also a mutual exchange. So I actually think that activity might be like a great solution. on both ends.

unknown 1:06:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:03

Yeah, a hundred percent. And it's like it's it's a great way to develop these bonds. And like some of my tightest connections have come from not necessarily talking at all. We we happen to like go to this same place and we walk all the time together or or whatever it is or we wake surfed together and like now we're homies. You know, like so yeah something to consider.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:25

I think at the root of this though that I just want to emphasize this has kind of turned into like half of should men and men be friends with women? Which I think is great because I see a lot of stuff online about it. And it we have like a friend who really sent a message when she was getting married to all of her guy friends and was like I can no longer be friends with you. This is like the agreement of our marriage, you know, who she's really good friends with.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:48

So who was like one of his best friends. One of my best friends.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:52

So it's it is really quite a topic. Um but I think just what I would like to emphasize as I'm trying to figure out my own feelings still like this is all very fresh and like boundaries and all of it is the bedrock I think of safety that these women feel is our relationship. Like I've Los was obviously an amazing beautiful safe man before our relationship. And I've had many of his female friends tell me when you guys were together Los became this like protector and provider in a way that like he just wasn't before. And that's not to like gas me up. It's the union and you know I think like the ability for me to pour into people for him to pour into people exists at the level that it does because of our union and because how much we got each other and because people can see how good he is to me and how devoted he is to me that makes them feel even safer because those motives like just are not is what they're not there. So yeah. And also like we don't have that many time for so many relationships. Like you know like do I want to foster a bunch of male relationships right now? Maybe like a one or two but like it's also a calendar thing. I mean where we hang out in groups so that we can pour it into like we got some full calendar so we love grouping we love getting them all together and doing it at the same time.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:30

For sure for sure. Yeah I think that is a I was thinking this earlier in the podcast actually when they when we were talking about like the safety that exists for everyone that encounters the two of you and men like you. And I think that is a huge part of it. It's like same thing on our end for like men who you know want to be our friends but it's like they're the not only the inner work that we've done. So there is this sense of like I think that when women tell both of you that you're safe, there is obviously this physicality but I think there is actually this energetic sense that they have of being able to feel that there are no um malicious parts that are going to come out sideways. Like obviously there is repair and rupture in all relationships that happen sometimes, but it's like the level of integrity that exists in your own body with yourself. And you know, I assume in your practices as well and in my journey it's like there isn't anything unseen to be scared of that creates the safety as well that I don't know that the women who are telling you they feel safe around you would be able to verbalize, but I sense is something that is being attuned to and then there is also this like immediate in the witnessing of the union there is just a guarantee that like there is no sexual energy coming out sideways. There is no desire elsewhere like there is not only commitment to the love but also commitment to like the evolution and the dharma and the path there's like so much intertwining of the web that a a side quest for validation is just like not in the picture. And it is usually like an unexpected um an unexpected pass at someone that that makes them feel uncomfortable. Like that I feel like is the hallmark of it. So for someone to be able to be in the presence of a union where like it just is known across the board that that is not ever going to happen is totally what makes like the desire for those connections or the experience of safety in whatever setting something that's occurring. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:52

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:53

Yeah. Yeah as you're talking I think being in union really opens the door to other female partnerships or female female platonic relationships. Because when I when I've been single and I've really been like desiring a platonic relationship and I'm sure this was like unprocessed stuff in me too at the time it's like I wonder if she thinks that I'm actually want wanting something more from this and that would kind of hamstring the the evolution of the friendship. But now it's like there's no questions right it's great.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:28

There's actually a little bit more freedom there it feels like 100% 100% we we uh we experienced this with a friend that we have that where it's like I was just thinking about this. Yeah where it's like I'm I'm such a goofball with this person. And it's like it's because the foundation is set that like oh like we're strictly friends. Right. And it's like it just allows this other part of of both of us to just like you know like we're just kids.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:04

There's no energy going to like being sexy like and like you know being more than that because you're just like sexy as you are but like seductive you know like and that is really nice like to just be who you are you know because I think oftentimes that's like reserved for your intimate partner and like we get to these amazing goofy silly sides of our men and it's like so sweet whatever but it's like yeah it's actually great when you can feel the safety with other people to do that. And I get to be involved in that and that's just like a good ass time, you know yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:43

So this conversation has been awesome. I think we talked about exactly what we needed to talk about and we're gonna start to to tie it up. So one of our intentions with this podcast is not just that people come and listen for an hour but that they can actually walk away from this and take actions take steps in their lives to start creating more of what they want. So the question for you is if you were to give a homework assignment to the audience what would it be?

SPEAKER_05 1:13:21

The first thing that comes up is all of the things that your how did you articulate it um there's like nothing off the table or like everything's on the table.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:38

With reparenting motives all of his motives are on the table.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:42

Motives just in terms of this conversation like getting really honest with yourself about like what really are your motives like the the scarier ones maybe like the less desirable ones at any stage of relationship that you're in like you know what are my motives for like the way that I'm behaving with my partner right now? Is there anything there that doesn't feel fully true doesn't feel fully like faithful that is maybe a little bit scared or scary or trying to manipulate something what are my motives for dating right now? Am I really ready for this person or am I just trying to get attention or have somebody maybe kind of save me from myself like really just sitting down wherever you're at and when it comes to relationship what really are your motives right now what's driving them and just have a good honest look um I think that specifically for men uh an energy audit you know sit down track what you do in a day two days over the course of a bit of time and look at the things that add more energy to you the things that are neutral and the things that take energy away um and really see them.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:03

Like these are the people that add energy to me. These are the people that don't these are not quite net said these are the the activities that light me up you know I feel I I I always feel just amazing after a hike being on the phone with this particular person or riding bikes etc etc but I feel terrible at the end of the night when I eat this food and I do this thing or I whatever. Whatever it is because there's humans are almost like uh you know we're we're what's the word I'm looking for um we have electromagnetic fields right we're talking about frequency quite a bit and it's like if you want a stronger electromagnetic field which then gives you access to more information in that field. It makes things come to you quicker it makes uh creativity more accessible it makes your body feel and look better then you have to manage your energy first and foremost um and in order to do that you need to understand where it's going and how it's being dispelled where your leaks are uh and the things that fill you up and then you'll naturally I think as you as a man this is what I've experienced is as I've controlled that and we're gonna have our stuff up things are gonna happen. I'm gonna eat the Cheetos every now and then but like naturally you'll start to solve what you perceived as problems in your life with almost no effort because your energy is just pristine and so I think like I think that is a a big takeaway one of the biggest lessons I've ever learned from a mentor and I think if a person started there they could just start to self-source and figure out a lot of their own things yeah amazing um both of those things are great and it really is part of part of this podcast like if people just did what we say at the end for free their life would be changed in six months.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:16

So um yeah thank you for those and another intention that we have is you know it it is challenging for people to hear the voices of good men sometimes it is like there's maybe a couple that they can really look to in their community as like wow I would trust him with every like my life um and we want to elevate more of those voices. And so if there is anyone that comes to mind as like someone else that some of our podcast listeners could look to or that we could have on the podcast maybe that have been mentors to you or you know taught you in some way friends of yours, anyone if there are any names that come to mind, we would love to hear them I have two to talk about uh and I can connect with both of them.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:08

One of them is a dear friend and mentor of mine. His name's Lance Lance Dupaloff uh I think he is an expert in energy management like no other human that I've ever met. And I think that would back me up on that. Perfect example of a person who only focuses on managing their energy and life just evolves around them. So that's one and then two uh would be one of my really good friends Chris Soy who uh runs a nonprofit called Men's Alaska Project where he takes young men rites of passage out in Alaska and he is just uh he is someone who is so deep in the trenches of men's work that he provides just fantastic perspectives um and he builds he builds essentially arenas for men to come and and do the work for themselves right like they go out and they actually like they get their hands dirty up in Alaska and I just think that's such a cool thing. Um men of all ages you know teenage like he has father son rituals all the way up to you know guys who are in their sixties going out there to build for a week and go on their first sacred hunting trip and things like that. So I would I would connect you guys with both of them.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:42

Amazing awesome yeah I've been planning for a wilderness initiation for the year. I got some considerations but maybe I'll consider him as well.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:54

Mancamp is really cool. It's a very cool experience.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:59

I would also add in there Eli um our good friend Eli Piscenda he I won't go into a long explanation but he's just so unbelievably generous and a connector of people in a way that I think is like one top one percent of connectors in the world. Like and it is just his natural gift and it is incredible.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:23

We thank you guys so much for being on the podcast. We can't wait to share this conversation