A Fairy Tried to Fuck a Married Man

This week on Moose on the Loose, Jazz and Matt head back to Neverland to unpack Hook (1991) — the movie nobody asked for, everybody remembers, and absolutely did too much.

We cover everything from corporate Peter Pan’s emotional neglect, Captain Hook’s untreated depression, and why Rufio deserved significantly better, to whether it was ever appropriate for a fairy to be that horny in a children’s film. Along the way, we question 90s parenting choices (cordial as a food group, molten playground slides), revisit the Lost Boys’ elite imaginary food scene, and ask the most important question of all: who is the real villain in Hook?

Plus, we play Moose Marry Avoid, debut a new game Bangarang or Boo Box featuring genuinely unhinged real-world inventions, and solve an Am I the Moosehole? involving fake house keys and a deeply intrusive mother-in-law.

Is Hook a kids’ movie? A midlife crisis in tights? A warning about capitalism?
We don’t answer that — but we do yell about it for 40 minutes.

Transcript

00:26.31
Jazz
Welcome back everybody to Moose on the Loose, the show where we ask the question... no

00:33.14
Matt
Oh, no.

00:34.97
Jazz
hi Why? did that happen? Where we ask the question, who's the shrub?

00:41.62
Matt
Who's the shrub?

00:43.16
Jazz
ah no, okay, you don't know that one. So what I'm doing is, whatever movie I'm choosing, I'm choosing my favourite quote to open the show and then people...

00:51.67
Matt
Oh, my God. ah Do I know what movie we're doing? but not I've never heard that quote before in life.

00:56.69
Jazz
Well then people can have a little moment of like, oh hang on. So yeah they get to have this little mini moment or like of like a little game of their own of like do I know that movie. So in Hook, our favorite 90s movie about sex between a fairy and a grown man. um and In Hook there's a fat kid and when Peter Pan falls into Neverland as an adult he's covered in bushes and the fat kid goes, who's the shrub?

01:21.11
Matt
Yeah.

01:28.06
Matt
ah Ah, right.

01:29.78
Jazz
But I like that.

01:29.86
Matt
Very...

01:30.81
Jazz
I like that.

01:31.00
Matt
Yeah, I don't remember that quote.

01:32.86
Jazz
Oh, okay. What would you have said was your favourite quote?

01:33.82
Matt
Yeah.

01:37.02
Matt
I would have just said shmee over and over again.

01:40.48
Jazz
Smee's me! Or just Captain Hook going, kill me Smee, just kill me.

01:45.40
Matt
Yeah, yeah. Kill me.

01:46.07
Jazz
Like it's just just, yeah, don't try to stop me Smee, try to stop me.

01:46.32
Matt
Kill me. Stop me. Stop me. Yeah. He's

01:50.86
Jazz
Don't try to stop me, try to stop me. Just these jokes about so suicide. Oh, poor old Captain Hook.

01:55.38
Matt
going to shoot himself. Yeah.

01:56.95
Jazz
So you guys might notice that Matt sounds different today. Cherie sounds different today. She sounds like Matt because we've got Matt here with me today.

02:06.26
Matt
Yeah.

02:06.84
Jazz
Matt!

02:08.14
Matt
Hi.

02:08.79
Jazz
Hi, and I'll tell you why because Cherie's a fucking better parent than me.

02:08.95
Matt
Yeah, I'm back.

02:12.95
Jazz
She's literally doing all of this Christmas stuff. Do you know she's got lights on the front of her house this year?

02:20.30
Matt
Oh my God.

02:21.11
Jazz
Right? Didn't see that coming.

02:22.04
Matt
Yeah.

02:23.41
Jazz
now

02:23.99
Matt
I actually destroyed everything that's red and green in my house just as soon as hit December.

02:29.69
Jazz
You went around and had like a smashing thing?

02:32.18
Matt
Yeah.

02:33.59
Jazz
So that no one...

02:33.72
Matt
I burnt it, but then the fire was red and it made me more angry.

02:36.98
Jazz
ah

02:40.31
Jazz
Well, i don't know what to say to that.

02:43.10
Matt
but

02:43.07
Jazz
You got me. Weirdo. Apparently that's my line of like as far as weird stuff you can say.

02:50.84
Matt
Just festive-based humour.

02:52.50
Jazz
Yeah, I'm fine with most things until you cross a Christmas tree and then I'm like, oh you know what it is? That's triggered me because my dogs chewed through my fucking a new Christmas tree cord.

03:01.16
Matt
That's infuriating.

03:02.07
Jazz
And literally, yeah, ruined my festive thing. Anyway, it doesn't matter. We're doing Hook. We're doing Hook. And the first thing we do, which I forgot to do last week, is that we do a little off-the-cuff recap of what happens in Hook.

03:13.08
Matt
Yeah, it was very confusing last week because I haven't seen the hunchback of Notre Dame um and um there was no explanation. So when ne everyone was going on about this real ugly person, I'm like, well, how ugly was this person?

03:26.32
Matt
And then I Googled the hunchback and I'm like, dear God, look at his back.

03:26.38
Jazz
That's true, though. Yeah. ah look this back And i said it's his actually his eye that I have an issue with. I'm not against hunchback people. but But I think that pretty much everything that happens in that movie is in the title, The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

03:42.39
Jazz
That's it. Like, he lives with me.

03:43.13
Matt
Yeah, yeah, yeah. there's There's a cathedral. It's in it's in Paris.

03:47.00
Jazz
Yeah.

03:47.26
Matt
Yeah.

03:47.52
Jazz
So but for this one, I mean, ChatGPT's run sheet says that this is the movie that nobody asked for but everyone remembers, the sequel that no one asked for.

03:59.80
Matt
ah I mean, I don't know if I've even seen the cartoon Peter Pan.

04:05.43
Jazz
Yeah, this was our childhood with Peter Pan. We didn't watch the Disney.

04:07.70
Matt
Yeah, I think this is my introduction to Peter Pan.

04:10.78
Jazz
Yeah.

04:11.06
Matt
You know gist. For some reason, as a kid, you knew what Peter Pan was all about, but I don't remember ever seeing the movie Peter Pan.

04:19.99
Jazz
No, actually, I don't remember it either. But I do remember being very confused about why, because I knew the story of Peter Pan, why is Wendy the old lady and he appears to be married to her granddaughter when he they clearly, he used to have a relationship with Wendy. That seems a bit sick.

04:35.45
Matt
m It's very layered movie for what is really sold as a kid's movie. But now as you watch it as an adult, is maybe not a kid's movie.

04:47.96
Jazz
Because it's all about like, you parental burnout and and having a job that.

04:50.35
Matt
There's just so much. Yeah, exactly.

04:53.53
Jazz
Yeah.

04:53.76
Matt
you Like adults are going to, maybe you just you know gravitate towards different themes depending on your age with it but when you're watching it you're like I get it he wants to shoot himself like yeah

05:09.37
Jazz
The level that I was watching it at was, I've lost my marbles. I'm like, that's a funny joke about having lost your marbles. That's all I could really get out of it.

05:16.02
Matt
yeah yeah

05:17.09
Jazz
I didn't realize the rest of the stuff. But okay, so Peter Pan grows up, becomes a corporate lawyer, which there's a lot of really funny lawyer jokes in the movie now that I've watched it as a grown up.

05:29.85
Matt
Yeah.

05:30.58
Jazz
He marries, e he grows up because he wants to be a daddy and so he marries the first person roughly his age at that trip back to Earth, which happens to be Wendy's granddaughter, Caesar. Snogs are in bed while she's asleep. She's never met him.

05:46.42
Matt
Yeah, nah, that's um it's not allowed.

05:46.38
Jazz
That's not allowed.

05:50.43
Matt
nay definitely not allowed.

05:50.92
Jazz
It's not allowed.

05:51.90
Matt
Also, Like, surely there's other... He could have gone anywhere in the world. In theory, this portal to Neverland could be from anywhere in the world.

06:03.76
Matt
There's no other open windows anywhere else in the world except this place. He's just going through the generations of darlings. um Yeah, he's like the Pepe Le Pew of Neverland.

06:18.30
Jazz
So I'm about to say something, but after that there'll be a punishment for saying this, right? So it's a kid's movie.

06:22.84
Matt
Okay.

06:23.62
Jazz
I don't think we're supposed to overthink it. Now, from now on, if either of us says, well, it's a kid's movie, don't overthink it, or if we defend corporate Peter, then you will have to apologise to Rufio directly.

06:36.54
Matt
Okay, um fair enough.

06:37.08
Jazz
but but So ChatGPT has this real, like, bent on, like, feeling super, super sad about Rufio. And it's true.

06:47.94
Jazz
Like, I just watched this movie the other day and I was like, Rufio, you deserved better.

06:51.35
Matt
Yeah, Rufio's the... Yeah, he is He's the one that... he's You get a massive arc with Rufio.

06:59.26
Jazz
Yeah, he he sort of picks up Peter's slack all that time, like... He doesn't deserve it. Anyway, so what happens in the movie? Marries the granddaughter as 14-year-old or something like that. Forgets joy, forgets imagination, doesn't remember how to clap anymore to bring fairies back to life. Captain Hook kidnaps his kids, finds out that they're in the only open window that Neverland people are allowed to go into.

07:24.12
Jazz
So goes in and gets him, drags his hook through the house up to the bedroom. He didn't even go through the open window.

07:30.56
Matt
Oh yeah.

07:31.41
Jazz
He went through the front door and dragged his hook up.

07:32.79
Matt
Yeah.

07:34.62
Jazz
Yeah. um And then there's that lady in the hallway that really traumatised me. like She's like an auntie or something. And she's like, the lights went down, the wind came up and the children, they are screaming.

07:45.88
Jazz
And I'm like, oh, holy shit, something so bad has happened to you. Then Peter gets told by, I think, Wendy, she's like, you have to go back to Neverland. And he's like, yeah, and he's like, Moira, Moira, she's saying all this crazy shit.

07:55.26
Matt
The old lady.

07:59.94
Jazz
And um anyway, Tinkerbell comes along, happens to be Julia Roberts. um

08:06.55
Matt
That does help in following someone to another dimension of some sort.

08:09.62
Jazz
Well, she's yeah, she sprinkles fairy dust over him. She takes him back.

08:11.93
Matt
Yeah.

08:12.54
Jazz
He makes out with a mermaid, three mermaids.

08:15.42
Matt
Oh, yeah.

08:15.65
Jazz
He has a menage a trois with the mermaids.

08:17.11
Matt
He does. He does. Yeah. um Necessary?

08:23.24
Jazz
Oh, how else would you make it look like you're blowing air into his mouth? Would you just go up and be like, huh, like that so you know you've got the air?

08:29.39
Matt
Heimlich him, get him to the top and Heimlich him.

08:31.67
Jazz
Yeah, because what they did was...

08:32.93
Matt
Wouldn't have been wouldn't have been as fantasious as the it's what they wanted, I guess. Do

08:38.32
Jazz
I'm wondering if they didn't do anything sexy, but I just am like, those sexy women have sexy bodies, therefore they're trying to be sexy. And, you know, what were they wearing? You know what I mean?

08:48.65
Jazz
Like...

08:49.27
Matt
you reckon there's like a hunchback version of a mermaid?

08:51.99
Jazz
Oh yeah, like they should have sent Helga along to do it and then we would have had no question about whether she was trying to be sexy or not.

08:57.77
Matt
never mind. Yeah. Yeah.

08:59.69
Jazz
Helga's like, all I want to do is get laid. I'm so horny, I'm just ugly. And then he has this obviously full midlife crisis in Tides, has to remember how to be Peter Pan. Oh no, he gets on the boat.

09:12.01
Jazz
hooks there hooks like if you can fly up there and touch your kids fingers you can go home and of course he can't do that and he's like kill them all and then pink comes along tip pink pink comes along and says if i can make him back into peter pan you guys can have your war wouldn't that be better and he's like yes i've got purpose again because he doesn't want to kill peter pan he wants to have something to do with his day and

09:34.94
Matt
Yeah, he wants something to do There's no one else to battle. Why wasn't he just battling Rufio this whole time?

09:40.63
Jazz
Maybe they did have their little skirmishes. i don't know.

09:42.55
Matt
But it wasn't as good?

09:44.28
Jazz
Yeah, maybe. Well, Rufia can't fly.

09:46.65
Matt
Yeah, okay. But either can hook.

09:50.17
Jazz
Well, maybe he needs someone to fly to make it enough of a challenge for him.

09:55.41
Matt
I guess...

09:56.26
Jazz
It's a kids' movie. Don't overthink it. Ah, no. I'm sorry, Rufio. I'm sorry that happened to you. So he has to to go remember how to be Peter Pan. The Lost Boys help him whilst bullying him.

10:08.70
Jazz
And then he has to, you remembers how to be Peter Pan. He saves his kids. doesn't kill Peter Pan even though he has the chance, and sorry, until Hook, even though he has a chance.

10:19.67
Matt
hook

10:21.64
Jazz
Hook shoots a sword out of his arm, amazing costume accessory business for that age, tries to kill him and then the crocodile sort of half comes back to life long enough to swallow Hook.

10:29.53
Matt
Yeah, 91.

10:38.20
Matt
Yeah, this was always a question I had in my head as a kid.

10:42.90
Jazz
Yeah, me too.

10:43.93
Matt
with the crocodile falling and it just seems like, I'm like, it's not alive. Like, so yeah.

10:50.12
Jazz
No, but it sucks him up and it burps.

10:52.97
Matt
But I'm like, so wait, that crocodile has been alive the whole time.

10:53.76
Jazz
So it's a lie. Yeah, yeah, had the same question.

10:56.09
Matt
Are they feeding it? The water in it? Like it's just been there for what? 30 years. Just strung up, kept alive.

11:05.31
Jazz
No, I'm going to say this. going to say it again. Excuse me. I can't have to think too much.

11:08.86
Matt
But then the eating part, I'm like, Yeah, I guess if it if they'd redone it now, you would have got a crappy CGI crocodile that actually ate Hook.

11:20.31
Jazz
Yeah, not as good. Wouldn't have all these compelling philosophical questions.

11:26.20
Matt
Yeah, yeah.

11:28.22
Jazz
ah Do you have anything to add or do you want to play a game?

11:31.42
Matt
No, that's exactly what happens in Hook.

11:34.94
Jazz
Thank you. Thank you.

11:35.48
Matt
Yeah.

11:37.16
Jazz
Here we go then.

11:43.25
Jazz
Oh, my goodness, it's one of those days.

11:44.51
Matt
Oh, it's double day, double day, triple day.

11:45.99
Jazz
It's double day. I hope it's double paycheck day. I hope this app applies to other areas of my...

11:50.74
Matt
It won't, it never does.

11:52.02
Jazz
It never does. Ah, they got me. all right, this is Moose Marry Avoid, and I love that I'm doing this with you because I'm going to just make you say gross stuff that you wouldn't want to say.

12:00.71
Matt
Hmm.

12:01.14
Jazz
Okay, remembering that Tinkerbell, while she's small, she's an adult, we know, because she breaks her house growing to full size somehow and then tries to get it on with Peter, who is married.

12:13.02
Jazz
So she's open for business. You can root Tinkerbell, right?

12:14.65
Matt
Sure.

12:15.94
Jazz
So Tinkerbell, Wendy, who is elderly but wise, and Smee.

12:16.34
Matt
Yep.

12:21.30
Matt
So old. Isn't it Maggie Smith? Like, you just gotta to say, Maggie Smith.

12:24.55
Jazz
Yeah. Maggie Smith, old, but 30 years ago old. old

12:30.07
Matt
Why was she so old then?

12:31.39
Jazz
I don't know. I just looked the same for so long. they i think it was a hair. They did this, like, wig thing. Okay, anyway, so what do you reckon?

12:37.46
Matt
yeah okay.

12:40.28
Jazz
Who are you going moose?

12:41.57
Matt
What? Out of who?

12:42.94
Jazz
out of Smee, Tinkerbell and old lady Wendy.

12:47.07
Matt
Oh, Tinkerbell. Like, fully grown Tinkerbell.

12:49.19
Jazz
Oh, yeah, fair enough. Yeah, she's Julia Roberts now. I didn't think that through. Okay, who are you going to marry?

12:52.57
Matt
Yeah, that's so easy. um Wait, well, what? And then but and there's an an avoid one? yes sir

13:02.47
Jazz
yeah.

13:02.96
Matt
I'm going to marry um the old lady because I feel like she's prop she's pretty loaded and she'll die.

13:06.98
Jazz
For the story.

13:12.05
Jazz
Oh my God, you and I have the same issue. It always comes back to who's richer and can provide me with a better lifestyle. Three always marries for love.

13:18.52
Matt
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

13:20.81
Jazz
I'm always like, oh, he abuses women. Oh, but he's rich. Yeah, I'll go with him.

13:24.41
Matt
Rich. Yeah, yeah.

13:25.06
Jazz
Which is terrible.

13:26.68
Matt
I'm in.

13:28.06
Jazz
But Smee, what's Smee bringing to the table?

13:28.73
Matt
um

13:30.82
Jazz
Not much.

13:31.82
Matt
Not much. she's Hook's lackey.

13:34.14
Jazz
Yeah, he's little flaky.

13:35.38
Matt
Yeah, he's pretty sweaty dude.

13:37.81
Jazz
it's a what did I agree with all that. I'm going change it. Grown up Peter Pan, Captain Hook and don't know, Toodles.

13:49.82
Matt
Toodles!

13:50.74
Jazz
yeah

13:52.47
Matt
The same same question?

13:54.94
Jazz
Yeah, same question. Who do you who you moose?

13:56.38
Matt
Oh.

13:57.38
Jazz
Ha!

13:57.53
Matt
Okay. You moose... I'd have to say... um

14:06.33
Jazz
You're gonna lose Dustin Hoffman, aren't you?

14:08.09
Matt
yeah ah no, I'm not going to moose Dustin Hoffman.

14:08.66
Jazz
You stink, fuck. Because he's a bit camp in it. Okay.

14:12.18
Matt
No, I'm going to moose grown-up Peter Pan...

14:16.86
Jazz
Would you cry while you're doing it?

14:19.19
Matt
Why?

14:20.41
Jazz
Because you're having sex with Robin Williams and you don't want to.

14:22.97
Matt
and He's dead. Is it?

14:24.66
Jazz
No, he's not dead in this.

14:24.82
Matt
is it is it

14:25.78
Jazz
No, he's Peter Pan from the movie.

14:26.39
Matt
Oh, right. Okay. Right. um No, just, you know, for the story. And then um I'd marry Hook and I'd avoid Tootles.

14:39.67
Matt
tootles

14:40.78
Jazz
I've got this gross image in my head of you're trying to have sex with him and he's trying to fly away, but you're stuck to him.

14:47.98
Matt
Oh.

14:48.75
Jazz
It's a really horrible image.

14:51.26
Matt
You don't have to think it.

14:53.01
Jazz
I'm trying not to.

14:53.82
Matt
good

14:53.86
Jazz
It's like a pink elephant. Don't think about the pink elephant, but it's don't think about Matt being connected to a guy. It's trying to fly. It doesn't matter. All right. All right. I'm going answer it now.

15:04.22
Matt
Yeah.

15:04.47
Jazz
i I think I have a bit of a bad boy thing. I'd probably... I probably lose Captain Hook. He could stab me with that hook at any moment. It's so dangerous.

15:14.78
Matt
It is dangerous. What if he he could have his, he could have different attachments on.

15:20.02
Jazz
Oh, my God, he could do everything different attachments. I didn't even think of that.

15:23.19
Matt
Yeah.

15:23.74
Jazz
Okay, yeah, so it just gets better and better. Peter Pan, I would marry the grown-up version, but I would ask him to please go back to being a corporate lawyer and grow up. I don't want...

15:33.54
Matt
But he's so, um he's he's unpleasant as a corporate lawyer.

15:38.31
Jazz
Ah. I think seems interesting. I think he's got an interesting job and I'd be listening. I'd be like, oh, tell me about what happened today. Oh, yeah, you shut down a whole other company.

15:45.13
Matt
White collar crime.

15:46.20
Jazz
Did they cry? Yeah, yeah I think I'd be into all of that.

15:48.02
Matt
Yeah.

15:49.76
Jazz
And then who was the other one? Toodles. Well, we just avoid toodles.

15:52.41
Matt
Toodles.

15:53.20
Jazz
I think that man had like no teeth. It's like an old man with no teeth in the movie. It's like where did they find him?

15:57.87
Matt
I wonder who played Toodles.

16:00.55
Jazz
I'm not going to, yeah, don't care that much. Can we play another game?

16:04.82
Matt
Yeah.

16:05.53
Jazz
Okay, this game.

16:15.38
Jazz
See, I did nothing.

16:16.57
Matt
Yeah, I know.

16:16.70
Jazz
I did nothing.

16:17.26
Matt
It's Doubleday. It's Doubleday.

16:17.96
Jazz
It's double day. and i was like paying attention, like, is it my finger doing that? But it's not. Okay, without attacking anyone's mum directly.

16:26.12
Matt
Toodles was in Mary Poppins.

16:28.50
Jazz
who was he? Now I do want to know.

16:31.32
Matt
um Mr. Dawes Jr.

16:36.74
Jazz
don't know who that is.

16:37.66
Matt
I don't know either.

16:39.99
Jazz
Okay, this is was it okay just because it was the ninety s Now, without attacking anyone's mum directly, I would like to discuss whether it was okay that Cordial was a food group for us.

16:44.60
Matt
Okay.

16:53.34
Matt
court I'd never had cordial as a kid.

16:55.33
Jazz
Oh, seriously?

16:56.41
Matt
No.

16:57.14
Jazz
oh my God. We had, it was just one of the drinks that you could have. And now I look up.

17:01.53
Matt
Yeah, I remember going to like people's parties and they'd be cordial and I'm like, this isn't I don't like this.

17:02.47
Jazz
I didn't like it.

17:06.97
Matt
this is This is watered down filth for the pores.

17:10.85
Jazz
I thought cordial was delicious. Delicious.

17:13.30
Matt
Yeah, okay.

17:13.92
Jazz
And there was a red one?

17:13.98
Matt
Right.

17:15.54
Jazz
Holy shit.

17:17.13
Matt
Right.

17:17.75
Jazz
So I don't even know.

17:18.02
Matt
It's flavoured water, right?

17:19.86
Jazz
Maybe I don't even have ADHD. Maybe I have red cordial syndrome.

17:23.74
Matt
Yeah, maybe.

17:25.08
Jazz
Okay. Well, this doesn't, I should have asked you if you if you can relate to this.

17:25.41
Matt
It's just flavoured water. What is cordial?

17:28.85
Jazz
I think it's just about chemicals and sweeteners. I don't know.

17:32.89
Matt
Right. and You just put water. you just mix it with water.

17:35.59
Jazz
Oh, my God, for you to know so little about cordial, you're not even an Australian. I don't even want to, like, i don't want to talk to you about this anymore. It's just it's weird that you don't know.

17:43.06
Matt
Oh, yeah. No, never had cordial as a kid. and There was never cordial in my house.

17:46.30
Jazz
Fine. fine next

17:48.73
Matt
Yeah.

18:05.05
Jazz
So get this shit, right? I love this.

18:06.90
Matt
Hmm.

18:07.46
Jazz
Okay. Am I the moose hole for giving my mother-in-law a fake copy of my house key and exposing her at Christmas dinner?

18:08.89
Matt
Moose hole.

18:18.97
Jazz
So me and and my husband have been married for a year and just bought our first house.

18:24.59
Matt
Hmm.

18:28.19
Jazz
Mother-in-law keeps asking for an emergency key, but she has a history of abusing her emergency key privileges. And then it says, this bitch would just walk on in unannounced at our old apartment, and she walked in on us being intimate twice.

18:42.41
Matt
That's crazy. That's already like a different level of crazy to do that.

18:47.96
Jazz
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then the mother-in-law just keeps asking for a key, give me a key, need key.

18:49.43
Matt
Yeah.

18:54.65
Jazz
for emergencies only. So she makes fake key, gives it to her to shut her up. And then the mother-in-law smugly smiles and thanks her and promises not to use it unless there's an emergency. A few days later, it's Christmas dinner. The whole, and it says the whole fam damily is gathered and probably eaten a ham. Mother-in-law calls out, calls her out for giving her a fake key. She's like, Oh, interesting. How do you know it's fake?

19:20.63
Matt
Yeah, when did you try it out?

19:22.94
Jazz
Yeah, mother-in-law let slip that she tried to use it to get into their house the other day while we were gone. She's like, yeah, there was no emergency. So what the fuck?

19:30.20
Matt
There was no emergency.

19:31.58
Jazz
She set her up and then called her out in front of the family. It

19:34.04
Matt
What was the emergency? Like, did she try and make up an emergency?

19:38.34
Jazz
doesn't say that but it says her husband on the way home accused her of lying and manipulating just to humiliate his mother and now he's ah ah demanding an apology from her for ruining Christmas dinner.

19:51.26
Jazz
Oh, no.

19:53.33
Matt
Oh, really?

19:53.75
Jazz
So who's the moose hole?

19:54.18
Matt
Oh, the mother-in-law is.

19:59.09
Jazz
And the husband should have been in on the plan.

19:59.33
Matt
Like, husband should have backed up his his wife as well and gone, I also don't want my mum just willy-nilly coming through my house.

20:07.80
Jazz
Yeah, I think he might be a mummy's boy.

20:09.66
Matt
Big time. Yeah, break up with him.

20:10.36
Jazz
Yeah. Yeah, he's going to have to stop sucking on his mum's boob and, you know.

20:15.77
Matt
Yeah. Get that titty out your mouth.

20:16.89
Jazz
LAUGHTER

20:19.50
Matt
Yeah. Yeah.

20:21.18
Jazz
ah

20:22.04
Matt
Yeah. um Yeah. 100%. Mother-in-law. That's crazy. You shouldn't give her a key for any emergency. If there's an emergency, let the emergency services deal with that.

20:37.27
Matt
um

20:37.24
Jazz
Yeah, that's right. I always say this.

20:38.14
Matt
If it's like...

20:38.84
Jazz
I'm like, if there's an emergency, actually ring an ambulance. Don't ring me.

20:41.62
Matt
Yeah, and what's the ah the emergency is, ah like, I've locked my keys in my car, my spare key's at home, can you run home and get it? That's the emergency.

20:55.09
Jazz
That is your emergency, not the mother-in-law's having an emergency and she needs to get in there to get a drink of water or something.

20:55.26
Matt
Yeah?

21:01.41
Jazz
It's your emergency if you need your key back.

21:01.54
Matt
No, yeah, exactly, yeah.

21:03.57
Jazz
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

21:04.41
Matt
Yeah, yeah, then you would, yeah, you'd just have to sort out getting that key.

21:06.17
Jazz
Do you know what I would have done, to be honest? I would have said with just clear communication, I'm sorry, we're not actually going to give you a key to our place.

21:08.44
Matt
Yeah.

21:14.48
Jazz
We've got, you know, other plans if there's an emergency. You don't need to worry yourself. Thanks anyway.

21:19.47
Matt
Oh, my God.

21:20.02
Jazz
And just say no.

21:20.57
Matt
That's such a script, have to say. Do you know what I would have said?

21:24.24
Jazz
Fuck off.

21:25.08
Matt
No, I'm not rude to my mother-in-law. I just say no.

21:30.49
Jazz
Oh, sorry, you don't give excuses. You just no.

21:33.33
Matt
This is a life lesson for ephf everyone listening to Moose on the Loose. Never offer an an excuse unless asked for one.

21:37.56
Jazz
All eight of you

21:40.97
Matt
And you'll realize how rarely you were actually asked for an excuse. Just say no.

21:46.30
Jazz
If they ask for one, then.

21:46.68
Matt
and i need it for an emergency. No.

21:50.10
Jazz
But if they ask for one, then.

21:50.36
Matt
And then wait for thee. Why not? And then you say, because no one's getting the key.

21:56.56
Jazz
Okay.

21:57.08
Matt
There you go.

21:57.82
Jazz
You just be clear about it.

21:57.88
Matt
Yeah.

21:59.08
Jazz
Man, nice.

21:59.43
Matt
Yeah. No.

22:00.24
Jazz
Cool.

22:00.35
Matt
Just no. Normally they're just like, oh, okay.

22:02.56
Jazz
I have.

22:03.62
Matt
Yeah.

22:04.41
Jazz
Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's right. No, a mother-in-law would have a tan term. They're like little tiny babies.

22:09.56
Matt
This one seems to be.

22:09.59
Jazz
They start.

22:10.72
Matt
and and And the fact that she's already walked in at some point and caught them being intimate, and then that wasn't the stop, that wasn't the circuit breaker to be like, oh, better not do that anymore.

22:10.71
Jazz
Yeah. I

22:18.98
Jazz
wonder what the position they were in.

22:24.26
Jazz
What would be the worst position that she could walk in and that's what you're doing?

22:28.47
Matt
um Piledriving.

22:34.74
Jazz
Yeah, yeah, yeah

22:35.64
Matt
so ah Because, like, the only way out of it would be, like, gymnastics on both parts. but

22:45.92
Jazz
yeah.

22:46.84
Matt
Yeah.

22:47.36
Jazz
No, no, actually I think I've got a better one. If it was like an oral sex situation, And the woman looks up because she hears a door open and locks eyes with the mother-in-law before the oral has finished.

23:01.02
Matt
Yeah, eye contact in any situation on that is the worst possible. That's the worst possible outcome is eye contact.

23:05.69
Jazz
And you ought to be better because she's in there she shouldn't be. You just get more enthusiastic and keep going. Like, well, if you're in here you're going to see this.

23:11.62
Matt
Oh, that gives me We Need to Talk About Kevin vibes. Have you seen we Need to Talk About Kevin?

23:17.45
Jazz
No, no, I haven't.

23:19.16
Matt
It's really, I've got the book and it's a really, really disturbing movie about a um school shooter.

23:27.20
Jazz
Oh, your tone's gone down.

23:27.67
Matt
And he, yeah, he's just jerking off in his room and his mum just walks in and he just keeps going and just eyeballs her while he's doing it.

23:38.48
Jazz
Does she leave?

23:40.44
Matt
oh Yeah, she does leave. Yeah.

23:42.01
Jazz
Okay.

23:42.08
Matt
But just sort of setting it up that this guy's, this kid is a psychopath.

23:46.22
Jazz
Oh my God.

23:46.39
Matt
Yeah.

23:46.78
Jazz
Oh, I don't want to think that's...

23:47.16
Matt
And that's just a scene in the movie and you're like, oh, I didn't like that at all.

23:48.60
Jazz
It's making my skin creep. Okay, I'm going go into a really fun game now because i don't like anything that just happened. And it's a new game. Ready? This

23:57.91
Matt
Yeah.

24:02.05
Jazz
is called Bangarang or Boo Box.

24:04.76
Matt
Double. Double day.

24:06.25
Jazz
Son of a bitch. Bangarang or Boo Box. No? Oh, so if you don't turn it off, it just keeps going. Okay.

24:12.15
Matt
Oh my God.

24:14.55
Jazz
So I'm going to tell you some real-world inventions and we've got to decide if they're Bangarang or if they belong in the Boo Box.

24:17.67
Matt
Hmm.

24:20.18
Matt
Yeah. Okay.

24:22.81
Jazz
Okay. Okay. The cat powered butter churn, a treadmill device where a cat walking inside it would churn butter.

24:32.20
Matt
Boo box. Can't trust a cat to do anything.

24:36.08
Jazz
Oh my God, it says it on here. It's like cat cats reportedly refused to cooperate. They were shockingly optimistic about cats.

24:43.90
Matt
Yeah, yeah, like, have you ever just... No one's ever got a cat to do what it wants to... what you want it to do in the history of the world.

24:47.88
Jazz
No, no, unless it's show me your butthole and then it'd be like, sure, here's my butthole.

24:52.79
Matt
Yeah, I don't know if the treadmill can be powered by butthole looking.

24:52.85
Jazz
Okay.

24:57.99
Jazz
Who's churning their own butter anymore? Anyway, it doesn't matter. A necktie water fountain, a tie with a hidden tube that lets you drink water hands-free. Designed for office workers, looks like you're lactating professionally.

25:11.45
Matt
Yeah, I'd say bang around.

25:13.87
Jazz
Bangarang!

25:14.81
Matt
We can get drunk, try to get business drunk.

25:14.79
Jazz
Yeah, the thing that's like... Oh, you're thinking about not putting water in it. Genius.

25:20.25
Matt
Yeah.

25:21.82
Jazz
Okay. Okay.

25:22.62
Matt
and Have you seen the meme where it's like a comic book and the guy's drinking from a flask and he's like, you want some? And he gives it to the other guy and isn't drinks from He's like, is that soup?

25:34.30
Matt
Yeah.

25:35.65
Jazz
Oh, yuck.

25:36.41
Matt
Yeah.

25:36.99
Jazz
Here's something that our ah quiet out our listeners won't know. matt doesn't eat soup or drink smoothies.

25:48.12
Jazz
If anyone has ideas on how you get there as an adult and as a human being, I'd be interested to hear what you think. So I think it's unusual and Matt thinks it's fine.

25:56.36
Matt
What do you mean? Soup's not a food. You shouldn't drink food unless you are incapacitated.

26:01.71
Jazz
It's made of vegetables.

26:05.98
Matt
Yeah.

26:06.07
Jazz
That's your reason. But it's very low, like, difficulty type of food. You can just swallow it.

26:12.33
Matt
It's not food.

26:12.43
Jazz
You don't have chew.

26:13.05
Matt
It's drink. it's a drink

26:15.22
Jazz
It was food.

26:17.21
Matt
Yeah, no.

26:17.85
Jazz
When it's in your belly, it makes exactly the same.

26:18.53
Matt
That's something so disgusting about the idea. It's like a three-year-old mashing random bits of other bits of food until it's some sort of liquidy paste and then being like, I made a meal.

26:30.21
Matt
Try it.

26:31.56
Jazz
We've just ruined soup for all the listeners.

26:31.70
Matt
It's horrible. Horrible. That's what soup is. Yeah.

26:35.99
Jazz
Okay, wait till hear this next horrible thing. This is an invention.

26:38.39
Matt
Hmm.

26:38.79
Jazz
Okay. Bangarang or the Boo Box. The soap-filled shirt. A wearable undershirt that slowly released soap when you sweat, allowing you to clean yourself while moving.

26:52.09
Matt
So you're using your own sweat to clean yourself?

26:54.36
Jazz
Mixed with soap. Mixed with soap. Designed for soldiers before you say anything too bad. Smells like regret. Never caught on for some reason.

27:02.93
Matt
Nah, that wouldn't work. Imagine how disgusting you'd feel.

27:06.52
Jazz
with that But if you were a soldier with no other option, i don't know, but maybe you don't smell as bad.

27:06.58
Matt
Like, what do you rinse it what can you rinse it what do you rinse it off with? more sweat

27:11.54
Jazz
Do you think if you had no other option, that would be better than nothing?

27:15.54
Matt
you can get deodorant that lasts 72 hours these days. how like What are we talking about?

27:23.97
Jazz
Can soldiers carry little deodorants around? Are they they flammable or like?

27:27.91
Matt
They're wearing a suit made of sweat soap.

27:29.92
Jazz
Oh yeah, they should be flammable. Oh my God, take it back to the soldiers. Okay, chicken eye goggles.

27:38.52
Matt
Like this.

27:39.67
Jazz
Tiny red goggles fitted onto chickens to stop them pecking each other.

27:44.96
Matt
They won't stop them pecking each other.

27:46.74
Jazz
Yeah, but then at least they don't peck each other's eyeballs out.

27:50.97
Matt
Sure, they'll peck the goggles off.

27:50.97
Jazz
Still in use? Yeah, so still in use in some places and chickens look cooler than you then. I'm going

27:58.04
Matt
Okay. I mean, you'd like that.

27:59.96
Jazz
to say bangerang. Anything close on a chicken. Dress up a chicken. Yeah, for sure.

28:03.61
Matt
Yeah, dress up chicken.

28:04.17
Jazz
Dress up any animal.

28:04.73
Matt
Yeah, yeah.

28:05.66
Jazz
um

28:05.73
Matt
that's That should be the next public holiday, really.

28:08.31
Jazz
Dress up your chicken, babe.

28:09.62
Matt
Yeah.

28:10.17
Jazz
No, I don't want people owning chickens. People don't know how to take care of beautiful chickens, the most beautiful animal in the world. I love chickens.

28:18.65
Matt
and

28:19.19
Jazz
Okay, the anti-masturbation bed. A Victorian-era bed with straps, spikes or restraints to prevent moral decay during sleep.

28:28.58
Matt
Spikes? Where do the spikes go?

28:31.14
Jazz
I don't know, it doesn't say. Maybe I need to look up a picture of this. But is it Bangarang or Boo Box?

28:33.98
Matt
yeah Boo! Boo box!

28:37.84
Jazz
I don't know. I think I'd get so much more done around the house if I had one.

28:41.53
Matt
You had a bed with straps and spikes?

28:43.99
Jazz
Yeah, it's becoming a problem.

28:46.09
Matt
I don't know. i don't know. I think that you're going to end up with people that are just, you know, they're bad humans unless they can sort themselves out.

28:55.73
Jazz
Oh, really? They get this like sexual frustration and take it out on everyone, but not in a sexual way.

28:59.45
Matt
Yeah. like

29:00.62
Jazz
They just, holy shit, you should see the weird shit that has popped up but in images when I've dived in anti-masturbation bed.

29:06.93
Matt
Oh,

29:08.18
Jazz
Oh, my God. Oh, don't ever look that up.

29:12.22
Matt
okay.

29:12.50
Jazz
Don't ever look that up, ever, if you want to be the same.

29:17.31
Matt
I won't.

29:17.93
Jazz
I've changed forever. My voice will now be like this for the rest of the podcast. Okay, so it was prescribed by doctors and it says it's the real villain of history and boo box immediately.

29:32.06
Matt
It would have been amazing to be a doctor back 1815. like in eighteen fifteen just

29:37.98
Jazz
ah When they were prescribing finger banging that they have to do.

29:40.02
Matt
Yeah, just like, yeah, it' just the craziest shit you'd be able to just be like, I think you should do this. And no one would no one would ever pay attention to this.

29:45.63
Jazz
Have some cocaine.

29:48.10
Matt
The doctor was just starting to lose their mind. it' like The answer to everything was to bleed them. um

29:54.26
Jazz
Oh yes, chuck a leech on it. Yeah, cardamom, fin, let them bleed.

29:56.22
Matt
Yeah, cut them open, bleed them out a little bit.

29:57.46
Jazz
Yeah, yeah.

29:58.96
Matt
Yeah, that's all good. everything All the toxins are out now. um You just, I don't know what... your actual professional knowledge was as a doctor at that point.

30:11.90
Jazz
Oh yeah, who taught them to do that? And they were like, here's a diagram of why it works.

30:16.22
Matt
It's just so close to it just being full-on tribal, like mystic healer.

30:22.07
Jazz
Ha ha ha.

30:24.11
Matt
Yeah.

30:24.63
Jazz
Yeah, that's true.

30:25.59
Matt
Yeah.

30:26.65
Jazz
um I've just got a couple more. The see-through toilet. A toilet designed to be transparent so users could monitor digestive health. You know what is see-through? The top of the bowl where you just look straight down into the toilet.

30:40.62
Jazz
I don't know why.

30:40.86
Matt
Yeah.

30:41.46
Jazz
You'd have to get down on the ground and put your head on the side.

30:41.66
Matt
hu I think just for, um

30:48.05
Matt
I think it'd be fun to, if your whole thing, if i' I'm going to say bangering, because I think it would be fun to have see-through toilet and just see everything going through all the pipes and stuff. You'll also be able to see if there's any clogs.

30:59.25
Jazz
It's poop.

30:59.61
Matt
um

31:00.38
Jazz
Look, it's poopy. Poop that you're just going through.

31:02.01
Matt
Poop poop. Yeah, but how' I don't know.

31:04.92
Jazz
This says, host note, exists. You cannot unknow this. Science did not need this. But you're saying bangerang.

31:11.58
Matt
I mean, I wouldn't be doing it for study. It's just... Maybe you just put one in your fifth bathroom as a little talking piece when people come around.

31:19.51
Jazz
I'm saying boo box. I don't want to.

31:21.75
Matt
you don't want to see your poopies go through the pipes?

31:23.64
Jazz
No, I don't want to say that. We can be different. It's all right.

31:29.12
Matt
I'll go and use the see-through toilet then myself.

31:33.07
Jazz
I'll be like, Matt's playing with his toilet again.

31:35.19
Matt
Yeah.

31:35.19
Jazz
It'll be a while. You're like, I don't even need to poop.

31:37.72
Matt
we

31:38.06
Jazz
I'm just trying so I can get, you know, to play with my toilet.

31:38.74
Matt
yeah Yeah.

31:41.70
Jazz
The dog umbrella.

31:42.13
Matt
Let's flush other things down it.

31:46.19
Jazz
Like what?

31:47.19
Matt
Anything, whatever. Just see what happens when you flush things down the toilet.

31:50.20
Jazz
Soup. yeah Thanks babe for the soup. know exactly what to do with this.

31:54.62
Matt
Very similar to diarrhea.

31:57.56
Jazz
Okay, the dog umbrella. leash-attached umbrella that hovers over a dog during the rain. Bangarang!

32:04.44
Matt
Yeah, I'm skeptical at work.

32:04.54
Jazz
Dogs hate it, it says. Dogs hate it.

32:07.00
Matt
Yeah. Like, look at, um you had Julio with the Santa strapped to his back the other day and how how that didn't go well at all.

32:12.34
Jazz
Oh, poor thing hated that, yeah.

32:15.32
Matt
match That was an umbrella.

32:15.42
Jazz
yeah

32:16.65
Matt
That'd be terrible.

32:17.53
Jazz
This says fashion before consent.

32:20.25
Matt
Yeah.

32:21.11
Jazz
Okay, the electric hat depression treatment. A 19th century medical hat that delivered mild electric shocks to the brain to cure melancholy.

32:25.18
Matt
Okay.

32:30.50
Jazz
Doctors said it worked. Patients said it did not. Yeah.

32:34.10
Matt
This is a doctor thing again. of just like, it works. Where's the proof? i ah Me, I am the proof.

32:38.74
Jazz
Yeah, yeah.

32:40.18
Matt
I said it works. um I mean, want what's a hat look like, really?

32:47.22
Jazz
Oh, yeah, is it actually going to be at least fashionable, therefore it's got a function. This is funny. It's given me sound cue ideas. um If I wanted to make them, we could have done Bangrang, the cheering lost voice, or a sword clang.

32:58.24
Jazz
Boo box would be a ticking clock. An unclear answer would be a dramatic hook sigh, which I can just imagine would be, oh, smooth, oh, smooth.

33:05.27
Matt
Yeah. He really dropped the ball with the soundboard here. would have got them three or four times.

33:10.42
Jazz
i You know what? I'm not good at making sound bites and I think what I need is for my boyfriend to to make some for me. He's actually really good at that.

33:19.03
Matt
Okay.

33:19.22
Jazz
He's um better than me at some things and he's very sexy too.

33:23.00
Matt
Yeah.

33:24.92
Jazz
Has this got me over the edge? Are you going to make me some?

33:26.81
Matt
Interesting. I don't know you're talking to about.

33:30.23
Jazz
Whatever. Whatever. he' When I say he's better at me at some things, I mean making sound bites. I fix people's lives. for a job

33:39.19
Matt
I ruined them.

33:40.28
Jazz
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

33:40.87
Matt
Yeah.

33:43.04
Jazz
Okay. Well, we do have to decide at some point who's the villain before we log off maybe forever.

33:48.02
Matt
m Okay. Yeah. Well, it's not, I don't think it's Hulk.

33:54.87
Jazz
Really? He literally, kept like, kidnaps a bunch of kids. And he's got to kill them.

34:00.65
Matt
Yeah.

34:01.18
Jazz
He goes, kill them all. And then Tink convinces him not to.

34:03.19
Matt
Yeah.

34:04.94
Jazz
He's going to kill two innocent kids. He killed Rubio.

34:08.92
Matt
Yeah, maybe they were all asking for it, though.

34:14.78
Jazz
I mean, suppose this depends on what happens when Peter Pan was younger because he, like, he brought the ward by kidnapping the kids but as, like, before that, Peter Pan chopped his hand off.

34:26.97
Jazz
So what happened before that?

34:27.59
Matt
Yeah. Yeah.

34:29.43
Jazz
Did Peter Pan chop his hand off because didn't kidnap Tiger Lily or some shit?

34:35.18
Matt
don't

34:36.34
Jazz
Because we didn't see the original one. That's the problem.

34:38.68
Matt
Right.

34:40.18
Jazz
Okay, do we think that capitalism may be the, I know we're not supposed to say this, I'll have to apologise to Rufio, but, you know, is it is it adult Peter Pan that's the anti-villain and that's why he has to change at the end?

34:55.99
Matt
Adult Pete... Yeah, yeah, adult Peter Pan. He's the reason that everything bad happens. And he also, he left Hook all by himself. Like, that's...

35:07.22
Jazz
So Hook was a bear in end.

35:07.35
Matt
he abandoned He abandoned everyone.

35:09.91
Jazz
So Hook was abandoned by his entire purpose and he wants meaning, not power.

35:15.23
Matt
Yeah.

35:15.90
Jazz
so and he's also deeply depressed and he makes suicide jokes for laughs.

35:20.98
Matt
Yeah. Yeah. Just wanted a bit of excitement.

35:27.78
Jazz
What about Tink trying to make out with a married guy? It's

35:31.70
Matt
I don't know if that makes you the villain. It's just, it's wrong.

35:34.84
Jazz
wrong but maybe not a villain.

35:37.11
Matt
I mean, it's wrong. not the villa I mean, you wouldn't say she's a villain of the whole movie. I guess Hook is meant to be the villain. i just think that adult Peter Pan that ignores his kids and all this sort of stuff and is a bit of a piece of shit, he's the he's worse than Hook.

35:55.93
Jazz
Do you know I think is the worst one? I think when they are all thanking Wendy in her dinner and people stand up to show their gratitude and they blow a kiss to her, there's one man that first does it and he kisses his fingers for too long and I don't like it.

36:01.40
Matt
o

36:05.21
Matt
Yeah. ah Oh, yeah. Okay. Him.

36:12.30
Jazz
It's yuck.

36:12.58
Matt
That's the villain.

36:17.53
Matt
Why are they so thankful about Wendy?

36:20.02
Jazz
She found homes for them. She took in all these orphans. And found homes for them, found their families.

36:25.82
Matt
Seems a bit Fred and Mary West to me.

36:29.85
Jazz
I tell you what, when Peter comes back from Neverland and gets it on with the granddaughter and stuff, he says she found someone to be my parents and adopt me. He was like 16. I don't

36:40.70
Matt
Yep.

36:42.56
Jazz
know. That's it. He's adopting a 16-year-old. Isn't it like I'm going to say something so bad. Tell me not to say, Jazz, don't say that.

36:50.78
Matt
No, no, want to hear it.

36:51.61
Jazz
It's just to like adoption a little bit like. getting a puppy but like you would want them younger so that you're more connected as a family.

37:00.66
Matt
Yeah, sixteen you adopt a 16-year-old, they're going to be so ungrateful.

37:01.89
Jazz
They're not really, they're not going feel that they you're their parents.

37:03.66
Matt
like They're not going to be grateful that you're raising them. Not at all. They're like, see, in two years, bye. Thanks for that room for the last two years.

37:11.00
Jazz
I feel bad saying everything. I feel sick! I'm sorry! Sorry anyone who's adopted 16! ah

37:19.67
Matt
If you're adopted at 16, just wait it out. Two more years, even if you're on the street.

37:25.46
Jazz
I say get in good with them so that they put in where you will.

37:30.14
Matt
Always chasing the will.

37:34.78
Jazz
just need some money.

37:39.99
Jazz
Okay, well, that's it. That's it. Is there anything that you want to add? Is there anything that we, I'm going to say, sometimes I call you up the next day and I'm like, God damn it, I left out the most important thing about this movie.

37:49.98
Matt
i mean, we didn't talk about the Lost Boys food.

37:53.50
Jazz
holy shit that food was good why does that food look so and the effort that must have gone into making all of that and then they we should have it's so good

37:57.69
Matt
i don't know. Yeah, yeah. And we also didn't realise this was a Steven Spielberg movie, like, until the other day, and it makes sense. It's so good. But, yeah, the that Lost Boys food, it's like this mixture of a Play-Doh. See, it's not liquid. It's not it's not soup.

38:17.50
Jazz
i mean when they throw out it at each other it's pretty soft

38:19.48
Matt
no Yeah, it's soft, but it's like a Play-Doh-y, slimy thing.

38:23.94
Jazz
Really?

38:24.04
Matt
It's not soup. Definitely not soup.

38:26.14
Jazz
yeah Would you eat mashed potato?

38:28.76
Matt
Yeah.

38:29.72
Jazz
Oh, would you?

38:30.04
Matt
It's like a mashed potato. It's like, that's what it's similar to. Why

38:34.39
Jazz
What if I mashed carrots in with the potato to make it, I don't know, orange and more veggies in there?

38:36.79
Matt
why would you do that?

38:43.26
Matt
Seems unnecessary.

38:44.60
Jazz
Would you eat it?

38:46.17
Matt
No.

38:47.80
Jazz
You just don't like your food touching.

38:52.55
Jazz
I don't know why I care about this. It doesn't matter. can do whatever you want.

38:58.91
Jazz
Oh, hang on. We didn't play two mooses and a lie. Sorry.

39:02.26
Matt
Okay.

39:02.28
Jazz
Give me one second. Two mooses and a lie and we'll um and then we'll call it a day.

39:03.67
Matt
All right.

39:06.80
Jazz
Okay.

39:06.90
Matt
Okay.

39:09.82
Jazz
Two misses in a lie. One, Rufio was originally meant to survive. Two, Robin Williams hated the green tights. Three, the movie is over two hours long.

39:22.97
Matt
Okay. Robin Williams had the tights.

39:27.67
Jazz
Is the lie? You think he loved the tights?

39:28.57
Matt
Yeah. Yeah, I think he loved the tights.

39:32.12
Jazz
No, Rufio was, oh, hang on, hang on, hang on. i do I also need you to make me a soundbite for this. We don't have a thing for for yes, mo good moose or bad moose.

39:38.66
Matt
Okay.

39:41.74
Jazz
So I play the moose sound and I just shout bad moose over the top of it.

39:44.28
Matt
Right.

39:45.59
Jazz
Bad moose.

39:46.90
Matt
Okay.

39:46.91
Jazz
Okay. ruie i was oh got started it off

39:51.51
Matt
Jesus Christ. I get it. I got it wrong. Christ.

39:55.31
Jazz
Rufio was never meant to survive. And then it's got a crying face next to it. And then it says emotional damage check in the movie.

40:02.60
Matt
Oh, wait. I think I've messed the whole game up. Wait. yeah I thought it was that he was meant to die.

40:10.15
Jazz
Rufio was originally meant to survive, which is the lie.

40:13.46
Matt
That's a lie.

40:14.20
Jazz
He was meant to die.

40:16.06
Matt
Yeah, of course he was meant to die.

40:16.98
Jazz
Always. So that's the truth. You can't just go back and claim ignorance.

40:20.39
Matt
Oh, this is the most confusing game. and This is the most confusing game in the world.

40:23.67
Jazz
Just pick the lie.

40:25.30
Matt
Okay.

40:26.36
Jazz
Okay, there's this emotional damage check. When did you cry in this movie? Why, why, um, was it Rufio and why is it always Rufio? Like it just goes on and on and on about Rufio and how sad it is about Rufio.

40:36.32
Matt
Oh, I wrote about Rufio. Yeah.

40:38.53
Jazz
I think Chattopiti's starting to develop feelings for Rufio, but it's a hop, skip and a jump to, you know, be able to date me and actually love me.

40:41.94
Matt
For Rufio.

40:49.94
Matt
but That's true.

40:49.91
Jazz
Like I'm, so I'm so close to having an AI boyfriend, you know what i mean?

40:50.50
Matt
Yeah, it's not far off. one There's a good ah that's really good punk band called Rufio.

40:57.76
Jazz
Really? Really?

40:58.86
Matt
Yeah.

40:59.40
Jazz
There's a really good song by Chance the Rapper that's about Hook.

41:04.30
Matt
Yeah. Same drugs.

41:07.16
Jazz
Yes.

41:08.06
Matt
Yeah, it's good.

41:08.38
Jazz
We don't do this. any Yeah, I know this. This is a thing that I know, not because you told me yesterday and played it for me.

41:14.58
Matt
No, I know you know it.

41:15.70
Jazz
Yeah, just I just know it, whatever. All right, that's it. um I can't remember how I sign off this podcast. So, and no, that was it.

41:22.94
Matt
Something about shrubs. A shrubbery. Get me a shrubbery. if

41:27.00
Jazz
Oh, that's right. well What's that quote as well? The shrubbery one. That's a shrubbery.

41:32.89
Matt
Yeah.

41:32.89
Jazz
We are the knights who say me.

41:34.20
Matt
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

41:35.14
Jazz
What's the shrubbery bit of it?

41:35.82
Matt
Holy grail.

41:36.79
Jazz
Yeah, but what's the shrubbery bit?

41:38.87
Matt
that's They're the knights that say me.

41:39.73
Jazz
I will give you a shrubbery.

41:40.35
Matt
That's when they're saying the things I want. And I'd like a shrubbery.

41:43.70
Jazz
That's right, they say.

41:44.64
Matt
Yeah.

41:44.62
Jazz
You did that too good. Oh, my God, I've never heard you do the Holy Grail so well. That was a perfect reenactment. We're going to talk more about this. All right, everybody.

41:54.30
Matt
Okay.

41:55.86
Jazz
See you next time. Maybe with Matt, maybe with Cherie. Who knows who'll come and play with me?

42:00.25
Matt
Get a real moose in.

42:00.39
Jazz
Probably no one.

42:01.37
Matt
Stop in a dogger and get a real moose.

42:04.29
Jazz
Julio looks like a moose.

42:06.35
Matt
It's tiniest moose in the world.

42:07.22
Jazz
A tiny little moose. yays Yeah, all right. We're getting a moose in. Getting a moose in. see you next time, everyone.