You Can Tell a Lot About a Podcast by Its Shoes

This week on Moose on the Loose, Lieutenant Dan has ice cream, Forrest has 15 Dr Peppers, and Jenny has some serious explaining to do.

We dive deep (too deep?) into the accidental brilliance of Forrest Gump — a movie about a man who stumbles his way into historical significance, fatherhood, wealth, and possibly a lawsuit.

Join us as we ask the real questions:
🦐 Was Jenny the villain or just traumatised and toxic?
🦐 Would Bubba be the worst sexual partner of all time?
🦐 Is naming your boat after someone who ghosted you after a romantic gesture or a cry for help?

Also featuring:

• Shrimp or Simp: the game no one asked for
• Moose, Marry, Avoid: war heroes edition
• A real-life Reddit AITA where someone actually asks if they’re the asshole for not paying off their girlfriend’s 6-figure debt (spoiler: yes)
• And an argument about whether the kid actor had a Southern accent or was just British and weird

This episode is emotionally loyal, mildly offensive, and ends the way all great stories should: with a CGI feather. Obviously

Transcript

00:28.83
Jasmin
Welcome, welcome everybody, back to Moose on the Loose, the podcast where Lieutenant Dan has ice cream.

00:39.08
Cherie
I want ice cream.

00:39.23
Jasmin
Lieutenant Dan has ice cream. Yeah.

00:46.45
Jasmin
Was that an obscure one or am I cool? Is that fine? People get it.

00:50.67
Cherie
Oh, people must get that, surely.

00:53.62
Jasmin
I'm not sure how much, if we're doing Forrest Gump, I can put on like the retard voice that that Tom Hanks was using. It's actually offensive.

01:01.54
Cherie
Oh, no.

01:03.00
Jasmin
Well, it's offensive.

01:03.44
Cherie
I can't touch on that because it's part of my two muses in a life for later. <unk> We'll talk about that later. Thank you.

01:09.78
Jasmin
I will talk about later. I think... It's sort of like getting, you know where they had that trans person, they had a non-trans person do a trans person's part and they were like, you should give that role to a trans person. She can't really give an intellectually disabled role to an intellectually disabled person. i don't know if they could do it.

01:30.07
Jasmin
you mean? It's not the same.

01:31.03
Cherie
Yeah.

01:31.50
Jasmin
Anyway, it doesn't matter. All right. ah We're doing Forrest Gump, which is, and here's my summary, the story of a man who is dumb,

01:43.08
Jasmin
unlikely to succeed, right, unintelligent, doesn't know what's going on around him but then somehow accidentally succeeds in like absolutely every single thing he's ever done even though he doesn't know what he's doing and in so doing is randomly like accidentally part of some of the biggest things that happen in history.

02:00.60
Jasmin
So like a couple of them are like he gets upset and he just starts running in a straight line and never stops and then he... um These people get inspired by him and they run after him and this guy's like, can you give me like, I'm trying to invent slogans for TV shirts and stuff.

02:18.26
Jasmin
And he's like, whoa, you just stepped in shit, man. And he's like, yeah, it happens. It's like, what, shit? He's like, sometimes. So then that shit happens, belongs to him. And then he also like wiped his face down with the shirt and it came off with an emoji smiley face, right?

02:31.87
Cherie
I want to know who came up with that. They're like, what if he wipes his face on a shirt and it like makes a perfect smiley face?

02:33.79
Jasmin
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

02:40.95
Jasmin
And so when he's like, this is actually a serious movie.

02:43.91
Cherie
It's like the only joke in the whole movie.

02:43.69
Jasmin
Like there's literally childhood sexual abuse in this movie. ah So he he has this girl, she lives down the street, and name's Jenny, and he's just in love with her since childhood.

02:55.88
Jasmin
But she goes off and just leaves the most... like ah a life filled with bad decisions which you think would belong more to the person whose brain doesn't work properly her brain works and she's off there just doing all this stuff because she was abused as a child his brain um doesn't work but he wasn't abused as a child and he goes off in the right direction and and um succeeds so i'm not sure if that's