Pig Orgasms & Other Important Movie Facts

In this episode of Moose on the Loose, Jasmin and Tara revisit the 90s classic Babe — the wholesome story of a polite little pig who just wants to herd sheep instead of becoming bacon.

But things quickly spiral.

Along the way they debate whether vegetarian food is secretly delicious, argue with AI about movie facts, play Two Mooses and a Lie, and introduce a brand-new game called Babe or Pig where questionable male behaviours are judged accordingly. There’s also a brief detour into whether pigs have the longest orgasms in the animal kingdom (apparently they do), which is definitely not something anyone expected to learn from a children’s movie.

So join us as we ask the important questions:
Is the cat the real villain?
Is Farmer Hoggett secretly the perfect man?
And how did a sweet movie about a pig turn into one of the most chaotic podcast episodes we’ve recorded?

That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:30

There's no tomorrow. Like I just I dance.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

I'm curious to know we do the same dance. Because I did the same thing because I'm like oh my arms are like moose on the moose.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

So welcome to Moose on the Loose, the podcast where we have a secret code and it goes like this. Baram U. Bar Ram U. But uh we understand it's incredibly lame. So I uh obviously heard this in the movie Babe as a child, but I didn't know I didn't piece two or two together that they were making like sheep sounds and the names of sheep, bar plus ram plus you, all different types of. I don't think I knew that a you was a sheep or a ram was a sheep. And so I was just like, is this a mysterious sound that they're making? But as an adult, I look back and I'm like, it's stupid, it's a stupid thing to do, it's a stupid thing to come up with. Whatever other people will be like, oh, you're just knocking down other people with being creative. No, it's dumb, it's dumb. And um, yeah, whoever came up with that is is an idiot. That's how I feel about it. And we're doing babe, we're doing babe, the movie. Woo!

SPEAKER_00 1:45

You're gonna have like a person that's gonna be a follower, and it's probably the person that came up with bar MU, and they're so like just like fuck you.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

They need to know, and then they won't do anything that's not. They need to know.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

This is why Pig in the City never worked.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

Yeah, I hope they learned their lesson between when they made did their stupid, stupid mistake, and now when I'm pointing it out, I hope they already had figured it out. Uh, yeah, so welcome back to Moose on the Loose. Let's do a 20-second recap of Babe, uh, the movie that was shot in Robertson, which is actually pretty close to where Tara and I live. And is there for an Australian movie with American actors? What's Magda Sabansky? Is she American?

SPEAKER_00 2:31

I don't think so. She looks pommy. Is it is that is that the bigger one? Well, she's Australian. She's Australian. Oh damn, my bad. So if you felt you look pommy.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

My bad. She's beautiful in her own way, her own tiny little short lesbian lady way. All right, so in this movie, a pig who's destined for the chopping block, as all pigs are on a farm, uh, wins a sheep herding competition uh by well, ChatGBT says it's through kindness, emotional intelligence, and polite networking with every other animal on the farm. But I actually think that oh no, yeah, it was it was through politeness. He was like, excuse me, can you please step into the gate, please? Like, can you please go in there? So it's not like he was biting at their heels and running around in circles. So yeah, that's probably true. And it says, Well, every other animal on the farm has a complete identity crisis. And that's because he's outside of his role, so he he sort of steps into the role of other animals that then don't know who they are, I suppose. Um, so there's a dog that's like, I'm the sheep herder here. God damn it, you stupid pig. Stick to what you're meant to do, which is getting eaten and getting cooked into bacon and stuff. And there's a duck that thinks he's a rooster, and he gets up every morning and he's like, cockadoodle do. I don't know why he does that. I think it's comic relief. And then there's a cat, and his role is to be an asshole, and he acts like an asshole, and that makes sense because cats are assholes.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

He just acts like a cat.

SPEAKER_01 4:03

He just acts like a cat, yeah, makes trouble everywhere he goes. And then there's a sheep who kind of mothers babe. Why does she mother babe? Why be the babe, like why isn't he killed in the first place? Is it because he's a runt?

SPEAKER_00 4:17

I can't, I don't remember. I think they're trying to grow him to be dinner, maybe, and he's a baby, so I'm assuming that they've got the baby pig and they're just gonna grow it till Christmas or whatever and then have pork for dinner.

SPEAKER_01 4:29

I feel like his mother must have died and they must have let him feed off the dog or the sheep or something like that. We should really look that stuff up before we start.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

100%.

SPEAKER_01 4:40

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Oh well, anyway, that's movie. That's movie.

SPEAKER_00 4:44

Uh quick question. Because it was shot in Robinson, do you reckon they like the pie shop was like really popular while the movie was going?

SPEAKER_01 4:54

Oh, that was back when I'm pretty sure I don't know if this is true or a rumor, but uh, because I grew up around there, they said that that pie shop was serving um dog food. Oh I think it's not true, but I asked my uncle or my mom, one of them was like, oh yeah, they found all of the dog food cans buried in the backyard. But again, are they just were they just fucking with me? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 5:18

I think they were fucking with you. And oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

What? I'm sure they weren't, or they're not anymore. What?

SPEAKER_00 5:24

What wouldn't they try cat first before they go to dog? Cat food? No, like chicken. Like dog food. I thought you meant like using dog actual meat. Just canned dog food. Yeah, surely.

unknown 5:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:41

No, I don't I doubt it.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

And two, did you were you actually in the movie? No, not really. I went to the audition and um got measured and got my photo taken, like every local did. Like everybody was there and you lined up and you went through and they just yeah, took photos of you and stuff. But no, I wasn't really in the movie.

SPEAKER_00 6:03

The um wasn't really I watched that movie looking out for you.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Yeah, I was probably showing off and telling people I was in the movie.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

I think you did, and I was really annoyed about it because I'm like, that didn't look like her, that didn't look like her. The amount of times I had to go back and rewatch well. I was like, I know someone who's in a movie, like that's pretty insane. My grandfather was in it.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

Does that count? I don't know what your grandfather looks like, so no. I could point him out to you because you actually can see him in the movie. But uh the only every single person in town was in the movie, was an extra in the movie, except me. Arguably they went for all the photos and went, yes, yes, extra. Holy, what the fuck is that? And then just took the photo and like burned it. Well, apparently that happened.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

Sorry, you go. Oh, she'll never be in this movie. Nobody call her. I'm not sure if you watch um Married at First Sight, but I swear that happened with them taking photos of all the cast, and there was one guy that was requested not to be in the photos, and he kicked up a stink. He was like, I don't want to be on this show anymore. And I'm pretty sure he walked out of the show.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

I don't watch Married at First Sight. I do read a Mamma Mia blog on it um occasionally, which makes fun of it. Um I have ethical problems with how they represent women, and so I boycott it to absolutely zero effect. You know, you just lost yourself a customer, right? I'm sure they've noticed. Like, hang on, jasmine, doesn't matter what my last name is. Everybody should shake on. Okay, never mind. I had to cut a thing that I said. It's all good, it's all good. Okay, so uh would you wasn't the jasmine blah part? It was the it was the I said my last name, and I don't actually want to be associated with this podcast because I'm I act like such a fucking idiot on it. I might offend some people. I you just think of me as Mr. X. No, it's me. I want the prize, I'll tell you my name. Okay, so it does have some talking points here. One of them is why is Farmer Hoggett somehow the quietest and best man alive? And I agree with that. Isn't he? Just he seems like such a lovely guy, but why? He wasn't doing anything except stomping around killing animals.

SPEAKER_00 8:28

Well, I don't know, because it was so long since I've seen the movie, but my memory of him, I swear he's like always threatening to shoot something. Like, but I don't know if that's the wrong memory. But I swear, like, he drags the pig out and has the gun and he's like, Oh choo-choo, because the pig does something silly, and then like he he like the pig, I don't like but that might be a different movie too. But I swear there's something in that situation there where that's where the pig kind of like pulls his um hoof out and starts actually rounding sheep up.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

Yeah, right. Would you like to jump straight into two mooses and a lie?

SPEAKER_02 9:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

Yay! Okay, I've got them for you today.

SPEAKER_00 9:14

Yay.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

And I'm obviously they're not on the run sheet. I keep them extra, extra uh secret so that you can't cheat. Um I've got a few rounds, I've got a few rounds, because some of them might be too easy.

unknown 9:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

One, James Cromwell became vegetarian after filming Babe. Two, the famous line, that'll do pig, was originally meant to be much longer. And then three, the mice were added partly because the filmmakers were worried kids would get bored without constant narration. Which one's the lie?

SPEAKER_00 9:52

I don't know. I feel like B. I was gonna go A then, but I'm pretty sure B because I don't know, I feel like it's a trick question because it's they'll do B.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

I've tricked you quite well there because it was out of one, two, three. You gave me back B two? Two, you mean? Okay, uh hang on, I need a sound. I need a sound for yes or no. Hang on, hang on.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Yes, you win. That is correct. Oh my god. I don't know if that was a happy pig either. You just picked some happier animals. It was what?

SPEAKER_01 10:29

It was an agreeable pig, yeah. It was a happy pig. Yeah, yeah, that's what a happy pig sounds like. All right, here I'm giving you another one. Babe was nominated for best pitcher at the Oscars. Two, the film won best visual effects. Three, the original ending had Babe running away from the farm.

SPEAKER_00 10:50

So one's a truth. One. No, one's a lie. We need the lie. Which is the lie?

SPEAKER_01 10:59

I feel like it's A. Oh my god. Is it one, two, or three?

SPEAKER_00 11:06

Are you doing this on purpose? Q I don't know. I was saying in my head, make sure it's one, two, or three. And then I'm like, that Q thing was a joke. I'm not clear on if you were joking then. I'm malfunctioning, okay?

SPEAKER_01 11:20

Um, yeah, no, uh one. So you think Babe was not nominated for best pitcher at the Oscars? You think it's a shit movie? No way was it fucking nominated? You're like, it's more likely that the original ending had Babe running away from the farm.

SPEAKER_00 11:34

That is correct.

SPEAKER_01 11:35

No, hang on, hang on. Let me make a disagreeable pig sound. Hang on, hang on. I don't have one. That's that was my moose sound for that.

SPEAKER_00 11:48

I always thought that was a cow noise. That's not a moose.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

Yeah, moose is very cow-like. In fact, I think the female type of moose might be called a cow.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

Wow. You are defensive about the moose, aren't you?

SPEAKER_01 12:02

I don't know. That's true. I don't know. It's a moose. That's true. Okay, all right. Last one. The animals' mouths were animated using early CGI combined with animatronics. Two. That's two, not B. It's two. Okay, the farm animals had different voice actors in the US and Australian versions. And three, the movie was filmed mostly in New Zealand.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

Uh, I would go three, because it was mostly filmed in Robertson and in another part, which I'm pretty sure is in Australia too, not New Zealand. Mayfield?

SPEAKER_01 12:46

Uh is it Mayfield? I'm fact-checking. Okay, good, because I don't know. It said that that was uh true, but I've then asked, hey, uh, was it uh filmed mostly in New Zealand? The answer, no, babe was filmed mostly in Australia, not New Zealand. Great. So I can't I can't trust AI anymore, and it runs about 99% of my life. I'm really concerned at this point. We've I've we've stumbled off, you know, track. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

Well, have you ever had an argument with chat before? Oh, yeah, yeah. Like where you've actually questioned, like I've actually been offended and said to him I'm offended by this because like I know for a fact that that's not true. And you're telling, like, I felt like I was being gaslit. And like, yeah, it was really upsetting. And I was like, Why are you doing this to me? I trusted you.

SPEAKER_01 13:41

Matt was telling me about a similar thing where he called it on, called Chat GPT on something, and he said to me, like, and it fully just slide, and I I had my feelings were hurt.

SPEAKER_02 13:52

My feelings were hurt.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

Well, actually, it's interesting because like chat does like because everything you do is based on the version of you and the questions you ask chat, and it always wants to please you. So, usually, if like, for example, Josh and I will have an argument, we'll we'll talk to chat chat and chat his chat will say he's correct, my chat will say my I'm correct. So now what we do is log into a private page and like ask the question just like without it being my question or his question, just like an open question to see what it says.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

Is one of you ever right?

SPEAKER_00 14:25

Yeah, it's always I don't listen to it when I'm when it tells me that I hate it. I'm like, it doesn't know me, it doesn't know what we're talking about. That was a stupid way of asking that stupid question anyway. Open another browser, ask a different chat.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

Oh, that's amazing. Okay, we either have the healthiest marriage or the unhealthiest one. I'm not sure. All right.

SPEAKER_00 14:50

Okay, if we're getting like AI, hey, we're we're accepting it now.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

So AI is like our theorists. I actually have asked it things about not I don't really have arguments, I wouldn't say, but we I don't know, just things that we're not sure what to do about, and then I go and ask it, and I think the fact that I don't invite him into that is that I don't want it to not take my side. So I'd actually Matt would call this being a weak gutted dog. I'm not brave enough to bring like him into the actual anyway, it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

Well, Josh once asked chat for advice on like me, and it was the wrong advice, and my god, he but he was more annoyed at chat. He's like, he did me dirty, he told me that that would be the best thing to do, and I was like, Yeah, good one, chat.

SPEAKER_01 15:34

I think he's trying to give her a lump of coal. Women like lumps of coal.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

Yeah, basically, seriously. I was like, is that what he really told you?

SPEAKER_01 15:43

Yeah, you've got to preload all your stats into it. Alright, here we go. Moose Mary Void.

SPEAKER_00 15:55

Alright, that's gonna be weird.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

Yeah, most of them are animals. Okay, farmer hoggett, the only human in this list. Uh Babe, and Rex, the angry male dog.

SPEAKER_02 16:12

Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 16:14

This is weird.

SPEAKER_01 16:16

This is a slow, sorry. I don't know how that is.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

I feel like I'm just gonna be like, you know what? Um I don't know. I don't I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

One of them is a human.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

One's a human. I know, but it's a man. Um you know Josh is a man, right? Is he? Um I'm joking, of course he is. Um, I suppose I'm gonna have to marry the dude because obviously it's you know, but then I'm gonna have to move. You oh yeah, yeah, yeah. No, okay, alright, sorry, I just assumed.

SPEAKER_01 16:51

We get sexuality in this podcast way too often. Way too often.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

Well, it's gonna happen more because allegedly, well, I'm not gonna say allegedly, but I'm sure you're aware that the whole porn thing, like people, a lot of people can't get into porn.

SPEAKER_01 17:04

So, yeah. What do you mean you shouldn't? Okay, first of all, what do you mean that you're sure I'm aware?

SPEAKER_00 17:10

Explain I'm pretty sure the day that they shut the porn site down, I was like, ooh, I'll wait till someone else complains and see if it's actually a thing. But then other people started typing up about it, and I was like, Yeah, okay, it must be a thing. But yeah, all the porn sites, like I don't know if you have to subscribe or something like that, but um, a lot of people like you can't, like it's just got like it's basically kindergarten, like, oh, like it's no, you can't see nudity or anything. Like, there is absolutely isn't I feel like it's scary.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

Yeah, good, good.

SPEAKER_00 17:41

Teenagers, maybe, but I'm scared for people who have like you know, like people that need to get their release, like if they need to like whatever they do in private, do in private, but like if they're gonna cut people off, they're still gonna need to like people wank on a daily basis.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

Oh my god, we went from would you have sex with to black still on the rise?

SPEAKER_00 18:03

I don't know. I can say I'm raping people now, okay. I'm not so you can marry a pig or what? Like what's over here? I'm gonna moose the man, obviously, because I don't want to be judged for being moose and a dog, but um yeah, you know, we're not like well there's only seven listeners, so who knows? Like when we hit like the the lot higher, but no, I would not moose the dude. Um I would marry the oh the pig. The pig because the pig is smart. And yeah, void the cranky dog because you know it's cranky.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

Yeah, I would also miss Farmer Hoggett. I'd miss him anyway in real life. I think he seems like a great guy. And then uh the I'd marry the dog because he's got a strong male energy. He seems like a good dad, and I've got daddy issues, and then I'd just avoid the pig. I'm actually a vegetarian, I don't eat meat.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

Are you still a vegetarian?

SPEAKER_01 18:58

I mean, uh okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:01

You're one of those vegetarians. I remember when you're vegetarian when you're pregnant with bloody your daughter, and you were eating chicken nuggets, and you're like, it's not me, it's the daughter, or it's the child. And I was like, right.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

I was a vegetarian actually for 10 years. Like, I've I've done my time. Some of that time I spent as a vegan. But no, I would classify myself, and I know Matt's rolling his eyes listening to this right now. I would classify myself as a freegan because this is a this is a new term that I believe I'm finding.

SPEAKER_00 19:29

Wait, let me guess, let me guess, let me guess. It's gotta do with freegan, it would have to be like anything that's free range, like so it's had its free worldly, like it's you know, it's not cage. That is not it, but it is a good guess.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

No, I it's so it's ethical purchasing of meat. So I don't want to be contributing to the animal market. It's not so much that I don't ever want to put meat inside my body, although I don't really love meat. Uh, but if I've cooked something for my kids and they've not eaten it and it's literally going in the bin, I might just eat their leftovers. I'm I didn't buy it for me, I'm not contributing to the market. I'm also not wasting it if they didn't eat. You're like your children, here's 20 cheeseburgers.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Please eat them.

SPEAKER_01 20:12

Oh, you can only eat one. Oh well, I suppose we'll eat the other night. Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 20:15

Oh, we're just saving the planet here. They're like, man, let me get a cheese. You're like, it's all the kids, okay? They're really hungry, but I'm a vegetarian.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

Give me 50,000 crusty rivers. So I'm a freegan, so I don't, you know, I just I don't really buy meat for me. And and and I have like occasionally like to relax my rules. Like, for example, you go to like IGA or whatever, and there's like ready-made salads, and I'm really hungry, and I just want a salad, and all they have is chicken salads. Like, sometimes the vegetarian ones are sold out. I might buy a chicken salad, but if the falafel one was there, I would have got that one. So I I just make ethical purchases when it comes to meat, which Matt would argue he would say, Stop telling people you're a vegetarian, stop telling people you're a vegetarian.

SPEAKER_00 21:02

Have you actually tried like fake beef?

SPEAKER_01 21:05

Yeah, I've tried fake meat. It's it's fine, it's not that bad.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

It tastes like I had one the other day at some like new bougie, like v vegan place where everything apparently was vegan. Like even the lounge was like a thousand years old.

SPEAKER_01 21:19

But it was like having fun. Are you out and about at restaurants just trying stuff?

SPEAKER_00 21:24

Yeah, well no, my cousin, she's like gluten and everything free. She's like one of those ones that you can't do anything, like you basically got to give her water, and I'm surprised she's not allergic to that. But um, so she's like, Oh, let's try this place. So she got this fake Big Mac burger, and um, I had a bite of it, and at the start of the bite, it tasted like a Big Mac. Towards the end of it, that's when like the weird aftertaste kind of came into play, and I was like, it just tasted like it was not okay. Like, beef isn't supposed to taste like that. Like, it was weird. My mind was playing games with me.

SPEAKER_01 21:57

You can get different ones, and some are rather vegetable.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Vegetarian, like the the potato, like is potato a thing of people? Like, is there people that don't eat potatoes because they think like like vegetables?

SPEAKER_01 22:07

Yeah, I don't know. That's vegetarian as a vegetable, but um there's uh they're not good for you. Any of the meat replacements, most of them are just full of garbage anyway. They they're actually like vegetarian junk food. You don't eat them, you eat beans and stuff, and they give you farts and you've got sortum, and then you've got to take a fucking tablet for that. And so yeah, it can be a little bit hard to be vegetarian. Um not that I am one, not that I would know, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 22:31

Oh, yeah, like my nana. My great nana used to be like, I am a vegetarian, and then she go to Macca's and order a fucking chicken burger. And I'm like, do you know what a vegetarian is? Okay, because chicken is still meat. But she will because it was white, so it was beef, technically speaking, that she wouldn't eat. So I don't know if there's a class or a name to that one, but she wasn't a vegetarian.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

I'm uh I'm even more of a pescetarian these days because I do actually buy a bit of fish for myself. Anyway, no one thinks any of that's funny, and I am here to make money, so we better move on to the Okay, I'm reading this for the first time with you. Here we go. Am I the asshole for tricking my family into eating vegetarian food? Now, just from the heading, yes.

unknown 23:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 23:28

Oh, I don't know. I feel like no, but then if you were to make a vegetarian eat meat, then that's a big yes.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

That would be so bad. Okay. A Reddit user posted that they had been vegetarian. Oh, I might be an asshole. I think I've done this to my family. Okay. For a family dinner, the poster volunteered to cook. They made vegetarian chili, veggie burgers, roasted vegetables. They did not mention the food was vegetarian. So everyone ate the meal and said it was really good. But later, when someone asked what kind of meat was in the chili, the poster revealed it was completely vegetarian. Several member family members became angry and accused the poster of tricking them into eating something they didn't want. And the poster argued no one had dietary restrictions, the food was normal ingredients, and they only objected after they found out. The family said the poster should have warned them.

unknown 24:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

Not at all. Not at all. Vegetarian, because I'm big, like I would love to be a vegetarian if I didn't enjoy meat so much because I feel like it is really cool for the animals. And um, you know, like if I could have a farm and have a a cow, I would have it in its corner doing its thing, and then have the person come, cut it up, and that shit could sustain me for a long time.

SPEAKER_01 24:51

You have a beautiful pet cow and then you just get it. I wouldn't be a pet.

SPEAKER_00 24:54

It wouldn't be a pet. It would be a free, happy cow that I couldn't look at. Like I just wanted to have a happy little farm area that it just you know grazes and does its things. You couldn't kill me, no, it's in the back window every day, frolicking and shit. And I can't see it. Oh, don't do that. Don't be like that. Come on. Fine, I'm a I'm a fish person, whatever. But like I think I don't think it's an asshole thing because it's it's not a bad thing because it's a healthy choice, like you're just pushing a healthy choice on someone. Like, I get meat being a uh like that's a choice that's their choice, but vegetarian is not gonna hurt you. You need vegetarian, like you need that stuff in a meal anyway. It's just missing meat, like yeah, not at all. I think it's creative, I think it's a good way to show people that hang on a minute, food is actually quite nice without it having to have meat in it and people actually enjoying it. Actually, we went to dinner not too long ago, and um Josh's brothers had these chicken balls, and I'm putting my fingers up in the air when I say this, but it turned out to be squid balls. It was so funny because I was like, the only thing on this menu that is circle and has meat in it is the squid balls, and so yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:06

Hang on. Yeah, so yeah, you're right, they'd be the asshole for the other way around. I think what makes you the asshole is if any one of them came up to them and said, Hey, what's in this food beforehand? And you said, Oh, beef, and that's not true, but I did this same thing, I remember so my family did used to give me a bit of a hard time about being a vegetarian, and like people don't know this, but there's like a poop in food, you know, in beef, like there's like a fucking cow sheet and stuff in the food. They can't keep it out completely, right? There's germs in it, there's all these germs, and so it does give me a hard time, and I'm like, oh, it's a pretty valid dessert. Vegetarians pretty normal. Anyway, I I made this um chocolate cake and it was fucking delicious. It was the nicest cake I ever made, and it was fully vegan. I don't know how I made it, I made it so nice, I don't have the recipe anymore. Anyway, so it was cake, and I made it for everyone, and everyone's like, oh my god, that was the best cake I have ever had. And I was like, Yeah, it's vegan, it's actually vegan, and then their tunes changed, it wasn't that good anymore. So I get it, I get it. Wanting to just like, if they're constantly running you down about your diet, you know, like stick it, like sticking it to them, proving that, yeah, it's fine, leave me alone, you know.

SPEAKER_00 27:24

I don't understand why people get so offended, like, because I can actually like I do believe when people have told me that they've gone vegan, I've had a personal moment where I'm like taking it personally and being like, you're an idiot, like and being like, What are you gonna do? How are you gonna survive? How are you gonna have all this? And like being on the dark side of judgment, and I don't understand why it matters.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

Yeah, why would it like uh why does it matter to people about what other people eat? You know what I mean? Because it doesn't affect you, like it doesn't affect you.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

I suppose as long as they're not like in Sydney and doing like all that, you know how some people will stand out the front of a beef place or macas and throw blood and you know show the videos.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

Yeah, is that about fully about vegetarianism or is that more about factory farming? Factory farming for sure. Again, we've stumbled right away from funny things. There's like a things that are funny. Let's talk about rapes, let's talk about maybe I'm a pissetarian.

SPEAKER_00 28:19

I'm so sorry. My I don't know. I'm just my uh funniness has gone out the window, and I'm just the serious person talking about all the serious stuff tonight. I don't know. My bad.

SPEAKER_01 28:32

Well, I've got a good game that's gonna remedy all of this. You ready? Yeah, I came up with this. You heard me do it because I was going through the run sheet and I was like, this is shit. And I was like, ooh, what about uh a um a game called Babe or what? And you were like pig. I'm like, fucking arrest pig, that's the best. Babe or pig. So I'm gonna read you some uh things that a guy can do, and you can tell me if it makes him a babe or if it makes me a pig. So it was just like a green flag type of guy or a red flag type of guy, basically. Okay, he texts I got home safe after your date.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

It's such a ew, it's such an egg, it's such a pig. Well, it's just I don't care. Like, you're a big boy. I'm pretty sure if you got home safe, you'll be sweet.

unknown 29:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:27

Wait, they're saying to me, they're messaging me going, I got home.

SPEAKER_01 29:31

Yeah, it doesn't make him a pig, I don't think, but it doesn't make him a babe. Gives me a bit of ick as well. It's such an ick, it's such a fucking ick.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

Like I'm like, you know, yeah, nah.

SPEAKER_01 29:42

Okay, he remembers your coffee order.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

Um, babe, I suppose.

SPEAKER_01 29:49

Babe, yeah, good on him. Make my coffee the way I like it. Babe? Yeah. Okay, uh he cries during movies.

SPEAKER_00 30:00

Uh it depends what movie it is, I suppose. If he's like crying over like something that he's like well not worth crying over, or if it's actually I'm not, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 30:09

I'd be just sitting there like, get it together, guys. Come on, get your shit together. Relax.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

I don't think there's a movie out there that could be such a turn on for me to see a guy cry over.

SPEAKER_01 30:20

No, I'd go for you. Have you seen my sister's keeper? Yeah. We're bringing up sad and depressing and horrible things, this podcast. That's this is the one that belongs on. Okay, he's rude to waiters. Pig. Yeah, pig. Don't be rude to the waiters. Unnecessary. They make it so I don't have to walk places. When I get to a a you know, cafe and it's like here's a buzzer, collect your own food. I'm like, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_00 30:51

Well, it depends actually. If yeah, if the waiters are being rude and they're not coming to you and they're not doing their job correctly, and he's being rude for that purpose. Like, still, I wouldn't, you know, there's other ways you can deal with the situation. I'd be extra nice just to, you know, make him feel bad. But um, you know, kill him with kindness. Yeah, like, well, thank you for not serving me. I really appreciate it. You've really made my day. I hope you have a splendid afternoon. Splendid that word enough.

SPEAKER_01 31:20

That's a great word.

SPEAKER_00 31:21

Yeah, it's a real sarcastic, like, yeah, um, it's splendid to see you. I don't know, is it?

SPEAKER_01 31:27

What about he helps clean up after a party without being asked? Oh, that is such a babe. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Just just help out. Fuck, do stuff. We've got the opposite problem in my relationship. Like, can you just help? And I'll be like, no, I don't want to.

SPEAKER_00 31:44

Oh my, I pay the rent, so you just clean up after yourself, all right? I got me.

SPEAKER_01 31:48

I haven't done enough stuff in my life. I'm tired, don't want to do any of those things. Okay, uh, he has a group chat with his mum and actually replies. It just depends on just him and his mum. Oh, yeah, is it just him and his mum? That's a bit weird, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 32:05

Yeah. If it's just him and his mum, I don't know. I feel like I'm competing against him and his mum. But they do say the guy that treats his mum well is gonna treat his woman well. So there is a line as long as they're not like jumping into bed with each other, I suppose. Like, as long as yeah, they're not too and she's not interfering, she's not being like, Oh, Tara needs to be this, or Tara needs to be that, or you know, I'm concerned about this, then he needs to cut her off.

SPEAKER_01 32:31

Yeah, yeah, you're describing most mother-in-laws I've ever known. Okay, he refers to himself as an alpha male.

SPEAKER_00 32:39

Yeah, nah, that's a I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, it depends how they look. If they look like an alpha male, then it could be hot.

SPEAKER_01 32:46

But you know, do you refer to yourself as an alpha male? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 32:53

I don't know, it depends what they look like.

SPEAKER_01 32:55

Oh, do you know what I don't like is just guys. This is fine. If you're a guy that lives at the gym and you really value your body and you treat it like a temple, and you're fully ripped, and you're taking pictures in the mirror, and you're filming it, and your muscles are rippling, and you put it on the internet all the time, and you're so happy doing that, that is so great, but that is not going to sort of blend with my life because when are you gonna spend time with me?

SPEAKER_00 33:22

Yeah, actually, no, I do take it back. I I can appreciate a good-looking gym person, but I'm instantly turned off as soon as because I know that's time and I know that's like vanity, which is totally fine, but I don't think I could stand watching a guy staring at himself in the mirror 24-7 and flexing and all that stuff. Like even though it's hard not to do, because when you do go to the gym and you start seeing results, you want to show it off, but it's they can't put their body on you and you're like, ah, it's pointy.

SPEAKER_01 33:52

Whereas if you get a soft guy, you're like, ooh, snuggly, snuggly this.

SPEAKER_00 33:58

I can wrap him around me, literally, when I lay on top of him. One flap here, one flap there.

SPEAKER_01 34:06

Okay, well, that's that's all of the games. We have to decide who's the villain, which is a bit of a weak one because no one was really the villain. The cat was the villain, the cat was just making crazy like problems and blaming it on the pig. It was sort of um framing him a fair bit. Yeah. Is meat eating the villain? Farming?

SPEAKER_00 34:34

Um no, because they're all friendly, they all have their purpose. Except doesn't one of the roosters, isn't there like a rooster that is always uh maybe that's a different movie too, where it's always trying to get away and just surviving like being like the roast chicken?

SPEAKER_01 34:48

I think you're thinking of um that plasticine one. What is it with uh Mel Gibson in it? Chicken run.

SPEAKER_00 34:57

Maybe that could be it.

SPEAKER_01 34:59

The Plastocine chicken movie. Chicken run, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:03

Yeah, I don't think there is a villain in this one. The the only villain is um I don't know. No, I can't. I can't I can't put an animal villain, and the guy's nice, so uh there's no villain. It is interesting though that like the person who did make Babe with Mad Max like and made Mad Max because they're so different types of movies. So like Babe is so soft and yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:29

Are you saying the same person made those two movies?

SPEAKER_00 35:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:32

Oh cool, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:34

Mad Max and Mad Max Fury Road.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

Have you got any other fun facts about this movie? Because that is a pretty fun fact. Splendid, even. I'd say that's a splendid fact.

SPEAKER_00 35:43

Um, well, the famous line was improvised, apparently. Farmer Hobbit's line, that'll loop, that'll do. Was originally much longer, but the simple version worked better emotionally. Wonder what it was. That'll loop. That'll do. That'll loop. Can't you be talking to me no?

SPEAKER_01 36:00

It was always short and simple. It was never meant to be longer. It's fucking with us.

SPEAKER_00 36:05

See, I told you we need to get like a private thing up. So real sheep are actually hard to work with. We already know that one. The sheep in the movie have to be trained for months, but sheep are famously stubborn and easily um easily scared. So many scenes required dozens of takes.

SPEAKER_01 36:21

And I think they went through a lot of pigs, but I think there's a myth that the pigs died, but they didn't die, they just grew and then they had to Yeah, they grow really quickly. Yeah, yeah. So then they'd have to they went through like 45 pigs, but supposedly they all got taken really well care of. Like nobody actually got got hurt. Um, I was gonna play a game, how many pigs would you kill for whatever? And like I would come up with a bunch of stuff, you know, like for a million dollars, how many pigs would you kill? How many pigs would you need to kill to get that?

SPEAKER_00 36:50

You know, how many pigs do I have to kill for that?

SPEAKER_01 36:53

For a million dollars. Would you kill every pig in the world for a million dollars? Oh god, no.

SPEAKER_00 36:58

Oh, you wouldn't, you wouldn't, why not? Firstly, because of the fear factor of like, I don't know, maybe we need pigs. Like, if you take out one animal, what's it gonna do for the rest of the thing?

SPEAKER_01 37:08

Like they're domestic animals and and they're wild and introduced in places that they're wrecking everything. I reckon you could get rid of them. I don't look. Oh my god, you just make it really serious. Yeah, but we're all grow on chicken.

SPEAKER_00 37:22

Well, fun fact, I'm pretty sure pigs have orgasms.

SPEAKER_01 37:25

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 37:28

I'm pretty sure they do. I don't know, maybe it was um Dolph dolphins, but now they're out orgasming me.

SPEAKER_01 37:33

Get rid of these pigs, get rid of the pigs. The pigs, it takes a lot of water and food to grow a pound of animal. So you would actually be able to feed more people in the world if you got rid of these uh animals that we that we eat. And we eat and when everyone ate the grain that we fed those animals.

SPEAKER_00 37:55

Did you know that yes, pigs can experience orgasms according to Guinness World Records? Guinness World Records, so someone was like, let's fucking you know, do this to a pig and get it off and see how long it lasts, has one of the longest record orgasms in a mammal lasting on an average of 30 plenty minutes with the potential to last up to uh 90 minutes. Imagine 90 minutes of pure orgasm for that fucking amount of time.

SPEAKER_01 38:21

Well, now I have newfound respect for the pigs. I think we could all learn the pigs. Right. How do you do it? What do you do? Alright, um, pig orgasms, and on that note, we will see the pigs. No, well, I want to know the pigs giving the pigs orgasms. We'll never know.