Two Mooses, One Ark, Zero Facts

🐄 Moose on the Loose: Evan Almighty 🛶

This week, we attempt to tackle Evan Almighty… and immediately descend into chaos.

We’re talking:

• 170 animals that may or may not have unionised against the film crew
• The world’s most expensive ark (seriously, where did that budget go?)
• A deeply questionable understanding of how zebras are “wrangled”
• And a very intense debate about whether giraffes are just professional photobombers

Naturally, we also play Two Mooses and a Lie, where confidence is high and accuracy is… optional. There are homemade sound effects, disputed wins, and at least one identity crisis about what noise a moose actually makes.

Then things take a turn.

We dive into a truly unhinged AITA involving an animal hoarder, spiralling finances, and the moral dilemma of how many animals is too many animals? (Spoiler: it’s definitely not 12 cats… apparently.)

We also ask the important questions:

• Who is the real villain of this movie — Chuck Long, Evan’s ego, or just society being mean?
• What would YOU bring on the ark that would make everything objectively worse?
• And… are we emotionally stable enough to survive 40 days on a boat together?

Expect questionable facts, chaotic energy, and conversations that absolutely should have been edited out but weren’t.

🎙️ Come for the movie… stay for the moose noises.

#MooseOnTheLoose #EvanAlmighty #PodcastChaos #TwoMoosesAndALie #ArkEnergy #AITA

(Also, please don’t eat your children. It’ll make sense. Kind of.)

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:25

Welcome back to Moves on the Loose, the podcast where I am a congressman. I can't build an arc. Eh?

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Yeah, yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

Eh, I reckon that's got all the whole movie in that one line. It's uh Steve Carrell. Steve Carell, the funniest comedian. This is a this is a big call. He's the funniest comedian in the world. Besides Ricky Gervais.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

I haven't seen The Office, and I've been dying to see The Office because I do like the American version of it. Because yeah, I um I think he's he would be very funny in that.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

Have you seen the English one?

SPEAKER_01 1:04

No.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

They're all very, very good. Very good. Yeah, yeah, highly recommend. But God, Steve Carell, he's just um he everything he does is solid gold. Amazing. Like I just like yeah, anything with him in it. I'll watch. Um, he just did this one, it was a really sad one where he's oh, I can't say that's actually the plot twist. But anyway, a thing happens and it's really sad, and he just does it so beautifully.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Um and then my own comedy, like he's very good at both. He's good at everything, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

I would date him, yeah. And I know that that question wasn't asked. Yeah, I'm still jumping on the train, so I'm gonna table, but I I would date Steve Carell. He's funny, like if I didn't have a boyfriend, which I do, but if I didn't, I think Josh would update. I hope. Oh, he'd be like, What? What do you mean? You're leaving me for summer. And you'll be like, No, no, no, it's Steve Carell, and he'll be like, Oh, god damn. Yeah, that okay, fair enough then. Is that is that how you imagine that goes in your mind?

SPEAKER_01 2:10

I'd assume so, yeah. He'd be like, Can I come along? And I'd be like, I don't know. It's a bit a bit weird, but okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:19

Oh, okay. Well, Steve Carell was in a movie which I will now do the summary of. It was called Evan Almighty sequel to Bruce Almighty, the movie that Tara said we should do tonight before I misread that message and did Evan Almighty. So in Evan Almighty, what happens is this dude is like a newsreader, and then he gets a job as a congressman, and he's like, Oh my god, my life is finally going how I want. And he moves his family somewhere, and then his his boss is like, Um, hey, we're gonna pass this like shady land deal, and you're like, gonna do this. You this is you have to do it, you don't have a choice. And he's like, Oh, it looks like it's gonna like destroy all of this like natural habitat and stuff. He's like, Yeah, that's right, and you will do this. The boss is John Goodman, so you can just, he's a very good bad guy. You can just imagine. And then he's like faced with this difficult problem where he's he's gonna have to try and get this bill passed till God steps in and turns him into a modern-day Noah. He makes him like grow a beard and he tells him, You have to build an ark. Animals are gonna start following you everywhere until you've built the ark. So that is going to happen. And then he doesn't seem to have any choice, things just keep appearing, and eventually he he builds an ark. Uh, and what happens? His life falls apart. He's building the ark.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

Well, don't start showing up as he's doing it, and they kind of help him like the LS and they carry the cat, they carry everything, and then it becomes like a news thing where people start coming down and at the start in front of him, and then they're all like, oh, what's happening? And then I think the dam breaks or something.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

Yeah, and there is a little flood and whatever. Um, and apparently the point of the movie is random acts of kindness or acts of random kindness. I don't know exactly. I think it's even though it's big money and this thing, you've got to think of the little creatures and people that live on the land. You can't just fuck it all up for heaps of money. So acts of random kindness, ARK. Do we get that? A-R-K. I don't know. I'm just impressed. You can do this, Tara. Acts of random kindness. Well, I'm surprised RK.

SPEAKER_01 4:38

Yeah, well, like I know a lot about Bruce Almighty, but I'm surprised like all of that just came flooding in within that like second of you know trying to remember that movie. So I'm okay.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

I'm gonna I'm gonna give you the answer. It spells ARK.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Oh I am so sorry. I was like totally ignoring everything you just said then.

SPEAKER_02 4:57

Oh John F I explained it very well. It's not your fault, it's okay. So obviously, we've got this lamb grabbing dude who's the villain, John Goodman, excellent villain. Love him as a villain, and then as we go, we'll figure out if um anybody else might be the villain. And I suspect we'll just have more than one villain. I don't see a villain swap exactly happening. There's no way Steve Carrell's gonna be a villain um because he's the world's nicest man. Yeah, but that's Steve Carell talking about Steve Carell and about Evan Almighty. Oh, that's a good point. All right, first game. It's called Ark or Nah. Okay. So I'm gonna tell you things that are worth building an arc to escape. Like you've got to decide, uh, would you literally go through with building an arc to get away from this? Okay, all right. So you can say arc or nah. Okay. People who clap when the plane lands.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

Um well, I'm not gonna build a like a boat or anything to get away from it, but it depends. Obviously, if they're clapping, something must have gone down in the airplane. So, you know, that's a nah.

SPEAKER_02 6:15

Okay, so you wouldn't actually build an arc, but it is annoying. Okay, being stuck behind someone who walks just slightly too slow.

SPEAKER_01 6:24

Okay, depends what time of the week and month it is. I honestly, like sometimes it could be a trigger for me and it will ruin my whole day. So, yeah, I could I if I had the brain power and the equipment, yes, I would.

SPEAKER_02 6:41

Yeah, me too. Um okay. What about what about forgetting to cancel your subscription services and just paying them for ages?

SPEAKER_01 6:58

Actually, um, if you have an Apple, there is a way that you can get your refunds. Um, if that does happen. But um, yes, before that, um, before knowing all that, it was infuriating. And it always happened just before I'd pay for something. Always, every single time. So, yeah, that that's a that's that's not an issue for you in your life anymore.

SPEAKER_02 7:19

You didn't you don't need to build an arc for that. Um, what about running into someone? Let's say someone you wouldn't want to look bad in front of. What about like your ex or your ex's new pretty girlfriend or something? But you look like shit.

SPEAKER_01 7:35

Yeah, arc for sure.

SPEAKER_02 7:38

Right?

SPEAKER_01 7:39

Ark yeah, every time. Every single time I look good, I'm like, I'm ready to be seen, and no one fucking sees me. When I'm ugly as hell and look like a donkey or whatever, into everyone, and I'm like, oh Jesus. And then I like it, I act like how I look.

SPEAKER_02 7:56

So okay, what about the beep test?

SPEAKER_01 8:03

Oh, I'm a bit of a geek at the moment for the beep test. I want to actually give it a go. Oh yeah, yeah. I make it two beeps, but I still want to give it a go.

SPEAKER_02 8:15

Uh saying you too to a waiter who says enjoy your meal.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

It's so embarrassing. You know, yeah, I would be building an arc like that's oh you build an arc.

SPEAKER_02 8:29

You you you there's almost nothing worse than this.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

I live with that stuff for the rest of my life. I'm still living with like how I accidentally said the wrong thing to a or you to a waiter like back in like 2015 or something. Um embarrassing.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

Yeah, do you know what's something for me? Meetings that could have been emails. Oh yeah. My goat, man.

SPEAKER_01 8:58

Yeah, that's definitely an infuriating one.

SPEAKER_02 9:02

Do you know what bothers me when someone says, Oh, listen, I just want to have a chat to you next Monday. Like, say it's Friday, just on Monday, come to my office. We'll just need to have a chat. It doesn't give me a doesn't give me a topic. What sort of psycho lets someone sit on that over the weekend?

SPEAKER_01 9:18

It's just as bad as someone saying to you, we need to have a talk when we get home, and it's very serious.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

And you're like, No, can't you just tell me now? Yeah, I'll do it out of the way. Okay, too uncomfortable. I'm too uncomfortable. All right, what about soggy chips? Just like the packet of chips, not like hot chips, but soggy ones. They've got water on them, but you've got to put them in your mouth. Yeah, why would I have to put them in my mouth? Well, putting them in, yeah, that's part of my that's what I've come up with. I don't know. You're gonna build an arc to get away from it or not?

SPEAKER_01 9:48

I would arc it. I cannot, I looking at food is I will dry reach if it looks gross and if it's soggy, not a chance.

SPEAKER_02 9:56

Oh my god, you're gonna build so many arcs. I've tell you what um makes me like I look back, I reflect now on my ex and I realize it's so obvious now that he was a lunatic, and here's how you know he would open packets of chips and leave them open to let them go stale so he could eat them when they were stale, because he prefers stale chips.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

Uh yeah. I don't know, Jackson does it. Oh my god, would you do that? Well, no, he does this thing with I would not, I could not, no way. I it's a bit like soft. I can't. It wigs me out. The rest of the chips must be tainted too. Even if some of them are crunchy, I'm like, no. Yes, exactly right. No one is like that. Jackson, sorry, like because he'll get biscuits and put it in milk. It's disgusting, and like wait for it to go soggy and eat it, and it's so gross, and he knows it, so he does it in front of me.

SPEAKER_02 10:51

It's I will you just give it a little dip and then you eat it. You don't leave it until it's so it it's gross.

SPEAKER_01 10:59

People are gross.

SPEAKER_02 11:01

What about um when you go to your restaurant and you always pretend to read the menu, but then you just get the same thing, but then one day you're like, no, fuck it, I'm gonna actually get something different, and then you don't like it.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

Every time that happens, it really infuriates me because I want to experience it, and I'm like, well, that was$30 down the drain. Like, I you know, I wish we lived in a world where the person next to me could be like, You want to try mine?

SPEAKER_02 11:29

Oh, you know what? I've got some really good ones now. Okay, okay. When you keep stabbing a straw into a popper, but it never goes through, and then the straw's all fucked up, you can't get it in.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

Oh, like straws, people are sensitive about straws, Jasmine. Like, I honestly, some people I've seen that many people like freak out about straws and hate on straws, and you know, it's yeah, but straws are you've you've seen more than one person freak out about a straw. I wouldn't say freak out, but you did say freak out.

SPEAKER_02 12:02

That's exactly the word you mean.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

Okay, maybe it's not everyone else, but it's me, but like it annoys you.

SPEAKER_02 12:10

That sometimes happens.

SPEAKER_01 12:13

No, it's silly, it's pointless. And you know what they do too now? Don't even give you straws, you have to ask for that shit, and then they look at you judgingly.

SPEAKER_02 12:21

They say paper or plastic. Well, they used to say paper or plastic, and you'd have to go plastic place.

SPEAKER_01 12:26

Right. That was back in the days when, like, if you asked for that now, you'd be judged.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

Yeah, I remember um Boost Juice used to say paper or plastic and have to go plastic. Um, okay, getting your sleeve wet at the end while you're washing your hands.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

Oh my god, it ruins my yeah, because I would like to roll my sleeves up and then I feel like my whole arm is wet. And it does, because like it bunches up and then the rest of it slightly gets um wet. So when you roll it down, the whole arm okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:55

What about um you know when you're asleep and the fitted sheet just pops off the mattress slightly? Why are you bringing these up? This is this is really irritating. I can't stand it. It's a traumatizing segment. What about when the USB doesn't go in first try and then somehow still wrong on the second try?

SPEAKER_01 13:16

I study the motherfucker for so long, and I'm like, okay, so it's this end, goes into that end.

SPEAKER_02 13:22

You turn it over, there's a thick end, there's a thick side, a thin side. Then you look at the computer.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

Which one has the thick side on the port? My whole TV upside down just to be like, there it is, there it goes.

SPEAKER_02 13:37

You pick the TV up, you're looking in places, you've got your torch on. All right, well, that's enough of that one. Uh, we can we can go on into Moose Marry avoid with a twist. Would you like to do that?

SPEAKER_01 13:47

A twist. I do like that, yes.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

Okay, they can't all be about which animals Tara wants to fuck. Okay, we gotta we gotta mix it up sometimes. So out of the Moose Mario Void, this is more like a would you rather? So just pick your fate, right? So you can have either a flock of birds that follow you everywhere, which by the way, I think sounds fucking amazing. Yeah. Two elephants who won't leave your bathroom ever. Dolphins. No, elephants. Elephants? Wow, how big is my bathroom? You've got a big bathroom and there's two elephants in there and they're kind of in your way all the time. And then a monkey that slaps you constantly.

SPEAKER_01 14:31

Yeah, okay. No to the monkey. That's just there's a monkey. No. Um, I don't know. I think the elephants, but then I don't know, because I have two birds and they flock around me, and sometimes it's nice, and sometimes I'm like, just leave me alone, and like they fly away and then come back and fly away and then come back. So I go the elephants. As long as elephants are cool. No, no elephants. What if they wiggy out and because they're in a tiny space and trample me? No, not doing that.

SPEAKER_02 15:02

It doesn't say that, it doesn't say it just says they won't leave. It doesn't say that they gore you or anything. Then definitely yeah, yeah, elephants, yeah, they have you to see elephants. You have to see birds all the time. What sort of birds have you got?

SPEAKER_01 15:16

Ugh, cognol.

SPEAKER_02 15:18

Okay, so it what sort of flo if you could have a flock of any type of bird, what type would it be?

SPEAKER_01 15:25

Macaw for sure.

SPEAKER_02 15:26

The macaws. They're so pretty. They are so pretty. Okay, beautiful. Well, oh, do you want me to cheer? I'm the same. I'm the same.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

I assume so, because you're a pretty like you always sneak birds into your place. That bird was always here. What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02 15:43

Oh, I know.

SPEAKER_01 15:44

I got in trouble from Shane for being a bird. A bird, and I'm gonna be rebellious and not let him know.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

Yeah, yeah, because I gave one away, and then yeah, like years later, was like, no, I I think I could get a bird again. And yeah, I gave I ended up giving that one away. All right, here we go. Yeah, two mooses and a lie. Um, are you ready to refresh your memory about how bad I am about guessing in two mooses and a lie?

SPEAKER_01 16:17

Yeah. Alrighty. One on Bruce Almighty, because I've got a lot on Bruce Almighty. You ready? Yeah. Round one. Okay. So the production used uh used over 170 real animals, and some of them just straight up refused to leave the set. Two, Steve Carill had to wear a finger. What?

SPEAKER_02 16:40

The first one you just said is the lie, it sounds stupid.

SPEAKER_01 16:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 16:45

Is it am I right? Am I right?

SPEAKER_01 16:49

Um it's a record, me picking it without hearing the other two. Truth and a lie. So one's a lie, and you think that one's a lie.

SPEAKER_02 16:56

I think that one's a lie. Yeah, I'm calling it now. Is it?

SPEAKER_01 16:59

I don't know, because it's saying truth is they actually used a ridiculous number of real animals. Imagine trying to direct that.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

You don't know which one is the lie? Chat's being mean again. I'm gonna pause this. Okay, we've had a sidebar. Turns out Tara is dyslexic, I guess, and just types everything back to okay. So Tara and I just had a sidebar. Turns out she is somewhat dyslexic and she just chucks things in back to front. So she's done some good old-fashioned research on uh two lies and one truth. So I'm sure I was right about number one. Now I've got to pick it, which is the lie out of the other two as well. Please continue, Tara.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

Two lies and a truth. Okay, all right. So the producer used over 170 real animals, and some of them just straight up refused to leave set. Two, Steve Carell had to wear a fake beard that took three hours to apply every day. Uh three, the arc was so big it had its own postcode during filming.

SPEAKER_02 18:04

I highly doubt it had its own postcode during filming. That's a lie.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

Okay, and what's the other lie?

SPEAKER_02 18:09

The first one that I said was a lie straight up.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

Okay, well, is there a button?

SPEAKER_02 18:15

Do we go boom-boom or like oh I didn't I didn't actually load up the moose button? I usually load up the moose button. Let me see if I can find another one. Matt's got um other things loaded up for himself. How about we just play um nah I got nothing. That's there's none of them are gonna work. I'm gonna play I'm gonna make my yeah, I'm gonna make my own sound. Ready? We can put yeah. Is it a good moose or a bad moose?

SPEAKER_01 18:42

Bad moose. That's not bad moose. Did I get it wrong? Yes, you did. Which one? The truth is number one that you said was a lie.

SPEAKER_02 18:54

Oh my god, I was like so against that right from the start. 170 real animals, and some of them refuse to leave the set. How motherfuckers pull on the chip, pull on the robe. Do they not have a harness on? Pull on it. What do you think that they have zebras with with harnesses on? I think they could just lasso them, yes, and just then pull them off. Animal cruelty.

SPEAKER_01 19:18

And then they just like wheel it in the air and then move it to the side. This zebra is like totally fine with it.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

I'm sure there were animal handlers that were in control. They didn't get to choose to just not leave the set.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

So uh it's cut out again.

SPEAKER_02 19:35

Hello. Okay, we're good. Yeah, okay. Well questionable. They were all questionable. I'm not even taking that as a loss. I'm taking that as a chat GPT, is maybe, you know, fucking with us again. Have you got another one?

SPEAKER_01 19:50

Okay, you lose, all right.

SPEAKER_02 19:54

Like it's uh almost kind of a win.

SPEAKER_01 19:57

You can't just you're making up your own rules here. It's like the I win game. It's like the what game? I win game. Because I win from Big Daddy, is that what you're thinking? Yeah, exactly. Okay, we should do Big Daddy. What we should do Big Daddy, the movie. Oh, that would be a good one. We always come up with really good ones on this podcast like an hour before it, and we're like, what do we do?

SPEAKER_02 20:20

Well, yeah, we say in that podcast we'll do that next week, and people are probably waiting for it, and then we're like, Evan or Marty.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

We are the worst for like okay study Bruce, you do Evan, and then you know, together we might make something happen. All right, so round two. Why is this believable? I don't know why it has that. One, the animals were trained to follow Steve Carell specifically, not the trainers. Um, the arc set costs so much um so much money. Wait, the arc set costs so much money, it became one of the most expensive comedy sets ever. It doesn't even make sense. Chad literally doesn't care anymore.

SPEAKER_02 20:58

I think that was expensive.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

I think that's true. I remember hearing it was really expensive, but the movie was a bit of a flop. They didn't put a thing in it. Okay, so the arc set cost so much money it became one of the most expensive comedy sets ever built. And then three, Morgan Freeman improvised most of his God lines again. Are they two two lies again? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 21:21

Oh god, the improvised lines we can say might be a lie.

SPEAKER_01 21:26

The which one?

SPEAKER_02 21:27

The improvised lines from Morgan Freeman. And the other one, no, the set was expensive, so whatever the other one was.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

So you think it's Morgan Freeman? Yeah. Okay, so the truth is wait, do the moose sound. Happy or sad? Sad.

SPEAKER_02 21:56

This is making me too moves.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Noises because you kind of dispute it and it's not fair because you lose. So um, the most the it's true. The arc set costs so much money, it became one of the most expensive comedy sets ever built.

SPEAKER_02 22:12

That's the truth. That's the lie.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

Yeah. Wait, no, that's the truth. Oh my god. Is it the truth? Why did you ask me to do this, honestly?

SPEAKER_02 22:28

Oh my god, keep track of which ones are the truth and which ones are lie. Just right next to them, truth or lie. Listen, so I got that right. So I deserve a happy moose. So you have to do the happy moose. Moose. Moose. They don't say their own name. They won't say moose. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

Oh my god. Okay, um, let's get to round three.

SPEAKER_01 22:49

This sounds fake, but also Hollywood is weird, is the context behind that one. Okay, so one, and again, let me uh like go back. So one of there's two lies and one truth. I'm saying this out loud to myself. Okay. Steve Carell. Okay, number one, Steve Carell kept taking animals home after filming because he got attached. Two, a real life animal handler quit because the animals behaved better than the actors. Three, the giraffe kept photobodies and they just left it in. So one is the truth. But don't tell me. I'm not I'm no no no, I'm not saying I'm saying there is only one that is the truth. I'm not saying one is the truth. I'm saying, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:33

I think the uh well, the lie is the one in the middle for starters that the animal handler quit. That's a lie. Is that a lie? Correct. Okay, and then the other one, what was the third one?

SPEAKER_01 23:47

The third one was the giraffes kept um photobombing scenes and they just left them in. I think that's probably true.

SPEAKER_02 23:53

So I think probably Steve Corell did not take home a bunch of animals that belong to the set.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

Moose. You really need a soundboard. I don't like doing mooes.

SPEAKER_00 24:11

This is my movie now, so yeah, it's true. It's like they get out of the movie.

SPEAKER_02 24:15

Alrighty. Well, that brings us to what is potential. I would say this is my favorite game.

SPEAKER_00 24:45

You really do like it, don't you?

SPEAKER_02 24:47

I'm not gonna lie the moose hole. Okay, so I'm gonna read it out and then we're gonna decide if this person is a moose hole. So my wife has always been into animal welfare. One could say it's part of her charm. When we got married, she said she wanted to take care of animals the rest of her life, and I promised I would support her. The thing is, when we got married, it was just one horse that we owned: a border horse, a horse that someone pays us money to live at our barn. Oh, okay. So they were boarding someone else's horse, and three dogs. Not too bad. A few years later, she's been adding to this with really expensive animals. Three years later, we now have five dogs, three horses, four donkeys, a couple of cats, and a bird. And it says, I don't know what it is. Why does he know what his own bird is? Every time she wants to add another, and I say no because they're expensive and we just don't have the money right now, and she yells at me, threatening divorce, and says I don't support her and tells me I should just leave. Well, I can't leave because I love her and we have children. So I'm forced to let her save in inverted quotation marks another animal which I am left paying for. Well, this continued to the point where we are out of money. So she applies for credit cards and starts racking up the bills. And I'm not allowed to comment on this because I use the card once for a major car repair. About two grand total credit card debt is 17,000 right now. So she blames me for the financial situation we're in. Now that the cards are maxed out, she's borrowing money from friends and family to supplement all the money of mine that I make, which she already spends on her animals instead of things like groceries and bills. She kicked me out because I asked her to budget her money so we can stop having our phones cut off and stuff. And I had to live in my car for a week. And when I came back after a conversation we had about apologizing to each other, she didn't like how I asked. She yelled at me for not supporting the children. She kicked me out and told me not to come back unless I could pay for her things and called me a disappointment. I don't know anymore. Um, it's over$2,000 a month for this hobby. Am I the asshole?

SPEAKER_01 27:03

Oh, that one's a hard one. Because I am such a like it sounds like something I do.

SPEAKER_02 27:10

You're an animal hoarder? Oh, yeah. I had like 12 cats at one point.

SPEAKER_01 27:15

It was crazy. Whoa that's a lot of cats, bro. Yeah, I know. I had one and it was pregnant when I got it, and I didn't know. And then that had babies, and then that one got pregnant again, and then one of its babies, when I got a bit older, got pregnant again, and then two of them were pregnant, and they just You just kept keeping them all. Yeah, because you feel bad for them.

SPEAKER_02 27:35

Aren't you like isn't there something bad about getting like wouldn't they inbreed with each other?

SPEAKER_01 27:41

Well, most of them were female, which was awesome because they just kept going out and getting pregnant. So I was like, I gotta stop because I think the third time that they got out, and I think I had 12 of them, I was like, I've got to do something about this because I can't handle anymore.

SPEAKER_02 27:55

Did you did they get rehomed? Like, did you anyway? Doesn't matter. Look, it's so because you're an animal hoarder, this guy is the asshole.

SPEAKER_01 28:08

But I do think that she has a problem, and um, you know, if the chance, you know, if she really loves her animals and she's struggling to feed them, then maybe she needs to send them to someone else who can cater for feeding them. Because then she's not really caring for them anymore, is she?

SPEAKER_02 28:25

I mean, yeah, she is caring for them, come hella high water, isn't she? Which she's taking them off. Um, you know what it is? She's the asshole because she's got kids and she's not putting them first, and you can't put animals ahead of your kids. You fucking lunatic woman, get rid of your fucking animals. What a crazy person.

SPEAKER_01 28:46

Okay, when you watch movies and like there's a scene and a human gets hurt and dies, but then the dog gets hurt and dies. Which one makes you upset?

SPEAKER_02 28:57

Look, obviously, the dog. I don't know this fucking kid in the movie, but now imagine your bird versus Jackson. Which one are you pushing off a cliff if you have to push one off? Maybe not the bird, it can fly.

SPEAKER_01 29:09

Have you got a dog? Well, the bird, honest to God. He has already told me that he loves this bird so much that he would literally kick me out if I if anything happened to it.

SPEAKER_02 29:19

So you're gonna kill him so he doesn't have to live without the bird.

SPEAKER_01 29:24

Well, that's a bit deep.

SPEAKER_02 29:26

Um there's no way you wouldn't pick an animal over your kids, and you shouldn't pick an animal over your husband either. And he's he's got no voice, and she's using, you know, she's threatening him with, you know, you're kicked out because you won't do things my way, and there's no compromise. No, no, no, no, no. But it's it's the problem is that clearly he said at the start, he was like, She was always like this, and I chose to be with her, and now I'm like, why can't you just change? Why don't you just be different than the person that I met and fell in love with? Be somebody else, you know what I mean? Like he's he's set himself up for this problem. So is this um everybody sucks here? I think everybody sucks here for sure. Yeah, but mostly her. No, because it's animals. I love animals, but I'm not gonna lose my house over it, and then the animals have nowhere to live. She's not thinking clearly.

SPEAKER_01 30:20

No, she's not, but that's what I mean. Like, she's not thinking clearly because she's obviously spending way too much to the point where they're nearly gonna lose their house. So she's contradicting everything she's doing because she wants to care for them, but they're going to end up being abandoned regardless. So you might as well, you know, kind of halve what you've got and you know, it's yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:43

I've got a little game that I just thought of before we move into who is the actual villain. I'm thinking if you were on an arc, what is like the one thing that you could bring that would make it so much worse?

SPEAKER_01 30:56

Worse?

SPEAKER_02 30:57

Yeah, or better, whichever one. I'm like imagining like someone, you know, you're on an arc, someone brings their drum kit.

SPEAKER_01 31:05

My vibrator.

SPEAKER_02 31:06

Oh, you'd bring it. Is this make it better? I'm assuming. Well, if it had depends how long it's gonna be. You could have said Josh. You could have said you bring Josh, but you just said you bring your vibrator.

SPEAKER_01 31:16

I think you don't say that. No, I like my vibrator. It doesn't talk, it's nice, it does what it does, and then it's good.

SPEAKER_02 31:28

I think what you meant is it leaves you alone. I know, we're all happy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, you should draw a face on it. That'd be funny. Um, and give it a name. It doesn't it doesn't gone off tracky. What is something that you could bring that wouldn't be very good?

SPEAKER_01 31:44

I don't know. Would you call your vibrator a boy or a girl's name?

SPEAKER_02 31:48

Oh, okay. I should I say this? I don't know. I've had this conversation about whether penises are boys or girls.

SPEAKER_01 31:55

Yeah, I remember listening to one, I think.

SPEAKER_02 31:59

With your we didn't know, we didn't talk about that on air. We're just in general, like a penis, if they're gonna be touching it, don't you shouldn't wouldn't they like to think they're doing it to a girl if you're straight? But then they said penises are too masculine, and I was like, Well, is it like your son? Is it like your mini person? And they're like, No, it's not. No, Jasmine, no, no, no, no, no, come back to us. A little offsider, like, what is it? Like, what's its relationship to you? And the guy will usually be like, It's just my penis, it's just my penis. I don't want to talk about this. But I, you know, I'm really philosophical and I like to ponder these things.

SPEAKER_01 32:41

Amen to that.

SPEAKER_02 32:43

Yeah. All right, what's something that you could bring? You think that would make it worse? What about like um chocolate, but your heaps like toast intolerant, but you've just brought heaps of chocolate?

SPEAKER_01 32:53

Well, you're on a ship, I suppose. It doesn't matter where you go. You can just like go on the side of the ship if you like toast intolerant.

SPEAKER_02 33:01

I wouldn't poo in front of someone, I'd be too embarrassed. So if I was on a boat for 10 years and I had to poo off the side of it and everyone could see, I'd never poo for 10 years. I wouldn't do a poo. But you'd have to. Yeah, I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

I wouldn't die, you would be like, no, I choose to die because I'm not pooing in front of you guys.

SPEAKER_02 33:18

I'd get blood poisoning and die. Yeah, but I wouldn't poo in front of people.

SPEAKER_00 33:26

I've had relationships where like we would poo in front of each other, it was weird. I don't do it now.

SPEAKER_02 33:31

Like, do that. Oh my god, now we all know that. Instead of you just knowing it, I know as well. That's the worst. You could choose to edit that one out. I think I might choose setting on 16 minutes of the second recording. Okay, let's all just keep that in mind. Oh my goodness. All right, well, who's the uh who's the villain? Who's the villain? Uh obviously John Goodman's character is like who they meant to be the villain, but here's some other options. Evans' own ego. So he is obsessed with status and he's focused on his political image, and then he ignores his family who are not enjoying the ride. And it's all about him.

SPEAKER_01 34:17

No, because I think it could brought closer because, like I said, the animals they all kind of started working together.

SPEAKER_02 34:23

And they but when he moves there at first, he he moves everyone, I think, against their will for his own desire for power and validation. I think.

SPEAKER_01 34:32

I believe so. It's more of a like, this is what God has told me to do, and if you love me, you'll support me. And if you don't, I'm still doing it.

SPEAKER_02 34:40

So maybe that, but then you know, also it's his life as well. Like he's got to be able to chase his dreams a little bit. I don't know if maybe they should have a conversation around it.

SPEAKER_01 34:49

If Mike came to you and was like, I need to build an arc, and I know it sounds insane, but you have to trust me, Jasmine.

SPEAKER_02 34:57

Like, this is how are there animals already following him?

SPEAKER_01 35:01

Not at this point because he's only just got the word, but eventually there will be.

SPEAKER_02 35:05

So he's gonna build the arc. Do I have to help him? Does is he gonna be like, and you've got to help me, or is he just gonna build it and I get to watch him?

SPEAKER_01 35:12

If he's building a massive arc and he's telling you, I assume that he'd want you to help because no one else is believing him.

SPEAKER_02 35:19

See, Matt looks really hot when he uses power tools. So all I'm hearing is Matt's gonna use power tools possibly for weeks on end.

SPEAKER_00 35:27

Maybe he won't tell you. Like, stop staring at me and help.

SPEAKER_02 35:35

I'm like, I'm as good as you are. I'm sorry. I'm just I'll get it wrong. Just sit over here and keep watching. Uh look, and especially if the animals come around, then oh my god, all day long, we're building an ark. It's ark building time, people. Like, this I can't think of anything better. What about okay? So, with him, everyone didn't support him. They thought he was crazy and they pressured him to be like normal and be successful. Um, and doing the right thing, which was following what God told him to do, like looked ridiculous, and everyone was like made making fun of him, even though he was doing the right thing instead of the easy thing. So, social pressure is a villain.

SPEAKER_01 36:13

Uh yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_02 36:15

Yeah, social pressure is a villain, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 36:17

100%.

SPEAKER_02 36:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:19

Everyone is so mean to everyone, and they're not supportive at all. If they know you, you know who, like, yeah. Like I said, people on Facebook, no one's really liked my post.

SPEAKER_00 36:28

I really had to kick and scream to get someone to be like, oh, okay, I'll listen to a minute of it.

SPEAKER_02 36:32

So that's right. We had like 67 downloads this week. We're good. We're good. Um, what about um seven? 67. 6'7, I said six seven. Yeah, you can do your six-seven thing. Yeah, good. So, what about God being a villain in this? Because against his will, he fully disrupted Evan's life. It puts him through all of the chaos and embarrassment. Yeah, but he had to.

SPEAKER_01 37:03

He had to pick someone.

SPEAKER_02 37:05

He had to pick someone. Why didn't he pick John Goodman who was the actual guy making this evil land bill happened? Why didn't he do it to John Goodman?

SPEAKER_01 37:14

I think because he deserved it. That was deep down an actual, like, good person who would genuinely like oh, you think John Goodman would have fought God?

SPEAKER_02 37:24

Yeah, he'd be like, Fuck this, I'm not doing that. Hey, many went, fuck this, I'm not doing that. But then his dude kept growing back.

SPEAKER_01 37:33

I'd assume that he would just go, oh, so there's gonna be a flood. Well, I'm gonna go. And um, yeah, it was nice to meet everyone. I'm not gonna tell you what's gonna happen, but um yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02 37:43

And you just go to Hawaii or something, yeah. Okay, well, great, that's it. Do you have anything else to add? Do you have any fun facts or anything?

SPEAKER_01 37:53

No, I don't. I did maybe of Bruce Almighty. We should have done Bruce Almighty because Bruce Almighty leads into uh Evan Almighty because come on, give me a fun fact about Bruce Almighty.

SPEAKER_02 38:04

In Bruce Almighty, the God uh gives him his job and they swap places and he has to be God and make god like decisions for a little bit, and he fucks everything up and turns the whole world upside down. So go on, give me a fun fact. I want to hear it.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

I can give you two lies and a truth.

SPEAKER_02 38:23

Yeah, well, which one's the truth? Because that'll be the fun fact.

SPEAKER_01 38:26

Just give me the truth. Okay, all right, I'll give you one fun fact about Bruce Almighty. Um because Jim Carrey is hilarious too, FYI. Yeah, he's very funny, he's very good. Well, he's too crazy in other movies, but in this he's like he's settled down, he's not too over the top. So, okay, two lies and a truth. All right, we're gonna go.

SPEAKER_02 38:48

Why do you say that Jim Carrey is over the top? What's wrong with you? Don't talk about Jim Carrey like that. He's an icon. Ace?

SPEAKER_01 38:55

The or ace ventura?

SPEAKER_02 38:57

Yes, it's it's a it's a classic. It's uh cultural icon. I don't know what you're talking about. All right, go on, give me the truth.

SPEAKER_01 39:09

Okay, we're not gonna go around. Okay, Jim Carrey improvised over half of his lines, which is why some of the scenes feel slightly chaotic and unpredictable.

SPEAKER_02 39:16

Oh, yeah, he's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 39:17

Yeah, that sounds that's pretty like you know, that's pretty like knowledgeable for Jim Carrey.

SPEAKER_02 39:22

Oh, you know what just popped into my head? Oh, this now I'm worried about this. Remember how Robin Williams was the best at improvising and he just seemed like the happiest guy ever, and then he like died.

SPEAKER_01 39:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:34

Well, now I'm worried that that's gonna happen to Jim Carrey. Like, aren't they similar? They're similar dudes, right?

SPEAKER_01 39:39

Well, the way that Jim Carrey's coming about, everyone thinks he's a clone and eating children.

SPEAKER_02 39:45

I didn't think that. Does everyone think this? This widely known. You think it? You think it's true?

SPEAKER_01 39:52

Oh, yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_00 39:53

They're eating children for sure. Look at his face, he's way too chubby and way too like, I don't know, he's weird.

SPEAKER_01 39:58

He's not Jim Carrey.

SPEAKER_02 40:00

Like so, sorry, if you eat the child, it makes you younger?

SPEAKER_01 40:04

I believe so. I haven't yet to try this, but uh you know, it's not on my list of things to do because I just feel like it's wrong. Well, my children are no longer safe.

SPEAKER_02 40:13

If this is a thing that works.

SPEAKER_01 40:15

I think they're under a certain age that they do this allegedly. But you know, when I find out, I'll probably be like, you know, die or something.

SPEAKER_02 40:25

Okay, well, thanks for joining us, everyone. And remember, don't eat your children.

SPEAKER_04 40:33

Here comes a stop. Way's Colin and he's raising the bar.