Identity Theft But Make It Surgical

This week on Moose on the Loose, Jasmin and Tara dive into the absolute chaos that is Face/Off — a movie that asks the very normal question: what if you just… swapped faces with a terrorist?

Jasmin attempts to piece together a plot she barely remembers, while Tara fully commits to the madness, defending the film like it’s high art. From magnetic prison boots to deeply questionable peach-related dialogue, nothing is off limits.

The girls debate the real villain (is it Castor Troy… or the writers?), argue over whether John Travolta or Nicolas Cage would make the better partner, and spiral into one of their most unhinged conversations yet.

Featuring:

•  Two Mooses and a Lie (with suspiciously dove-heavy facts) 
•  AITA dilemmas no one asked for 
•  Identity crises, daddy issues, and questionable life choices 
•  And a strong case for why this movie should not hold up… but somehow does 

It’s ridiculous, it’s chaotic, and it might just be one of the best episodes yet.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Welcome back to face on the list of that where I want to take his face off. Yeah, that's it. That's my quote. That's the only thing I could really remember from the whole movie. It's got the name in it. It's got the name of the movie we're doing face off. What? Welcome, Tara. Tara is a little bit more. Hello.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

I'm Casta Troy.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Hi. Did you just call yourself Castor Troy? Casta Troy. Castro Troy? It is, yeah. Why are you Castor Troy in this situation? I don't know why I've got some like thing against saying Castor and I have to say Casta. I don't know what's happening to me right now, but I'm going to continue to say Casta. So why are you Castor Troy?

SPEAKER_00 1:13

Um, because I was trying to give it a better clue than I'm gonna take my face.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

Oh, that was your quote was hey, I'm Castro Troy. Gotcha. Okay. Yeah, okay. Pool. I have not seen this movie for a very long time. Um, but it's when I think about it, it's so ridiculous. It's like the stupidest movie. Um, like ever the best. I just imagine like pitching it to Hollywood executives, and they're like, oh, and he cuts his face off.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

Yeah, now when you look back on that, because I did look at it a few things and they're like, it's so stupid. The new generational people that they think it's silly as.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

I think it's over the top. I think it's like, what if acting but too much?

unknown 2:00

You know.

SPEAKER_00 2:02

Well, Nicholas hates that much.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

Is too much?

SPEAKER_00 2:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

Um in every movie or just in this movie?

SPEAKER_00 2:14

I thought he was good in this movie, but then he's good in every movie. Yeah. No, no, I'm a cage fan. And I can hear myself and it's weird.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Oh, hang on. Yeah, we uh actually Matt and I both are Nick Cage fans. Matt has a blanket that is a big blown-up face of Nick Cage's face, and so I lay on his couch sometimes with Nick Cage on top of me.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

Yeah, that would dry me up. Um, I think he is a weirdo. I saw him in dabby legs or long legs or whatever it was.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

Oh, yeah, that's a great movie. Is it it's a horror, it's a horror movie, it was meant to be like that.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

The only thing horror is his face. Like that's the only thing.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

Pretty good acting, though.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

No, it's not scared. Yeah, because he's like, ugh, yeah, it's his face.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

You're scared of his makeup. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:15

I think he's weird.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

I'll do a summary of this movie uh as follows. This is obviously not from me. I had this written out because I could barely remember it. But in FaceOff, FBI agent John Travolta plays Sean Archer, a man obsessed with catching terrorist Nick Cage's character, Casta Troy, who killed his son. Casta Troy killed this guy's son. Oh my god, I'm remembering that now. Caster plants a bomb somewhere in LA. He's just getting up to mischief, isn't he? He's killing kids, he's planting bombs, you know. You could what else are you gonna? What are you gonna do next? I've got to stop him. So he says he ends up in a coma before revealing where it is. So naturally, the FBI decides the only logical solution is to cut off Sean's face and put Castor's face on him so he can go undercover in prison and get the info from Castor's brother. That's totally normal. Then, plot twist, Castor wakes up, forces the doctors to give him Sean's face, which I imagine it would be quite hard, like making someone give you surgery, and you're like laying there quite vulnerable. They've got like needles and stuff, they're sewing the face up. They could just slit your throat or something. They could stab you, you're laying there, like, you know, I'm in control of this. Now, so sew skin on my face.

SPEAKER_00 4:33

Yeah, but he's got his like his posse, so they're making sure that they don't do anything sauce.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

Oh, there's people around with guns. Okay, they should just be like, okay, get the gun off me or I'll stab him in the neck. You know what I mean? Like they could take back control because they're kidding. Anyway, Caster wakes up, forces the dogs to give him the doctors to give him Sean's face and takes over his entire life. Job, wife, daughter, everything. So now Travolta is playing Cage, pretending to be Travolta, and Cage is playing Travolta, pretending to be Cage.

SPEAKER_00 5:04

Isn't it good actors because they do it so well?

SPEAKER_01 5:10

Yeah, they do. And I the only like scene that I think I really remember, or two of them, one is where they have a prison fight in magnetic boots and they're all stuck to the floor. Do you remember that?

SPEAKER_00 5:21

Yes, yes, I do.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

And then the other one is when he's he's testing his voice and he's like, Peach, I could eat a peach for hours because I also swap voices somehow, and that they don't explain that science, really, but it's everyone accepts it. And it's so gross hearing him talk about eating a peach. And I think when I was younger, I didn't understand what that meant. And now I'm like, uh that isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 5:43

Yeah, are you talking about? Is he talking about like eating out a is that what you're talking about? Yes, isn't that what it's wow?

SPEAKER_01 5:54

Okay, you're eight years old when you learn that.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

I thought it was like, you know, thousands of peaches, peaches for free, you know, like kind of like you know, just testing out the he likes to eat peaches.

SPEAKER_01 6:09

Um well now, I feel like I need to to chat GPT this. I dare say he about you know when you put you know when you someone puts a peach in a text message, it's referring to like I want to you know go down on this peach. Like they're referring to like no, I think it usually means that when you send it as an emoji. It's always a cucumber. No, that's a doodle. I know. I know it's a peach.

SPEAKER_00 6:41

Hey, say that again. I've never received a peach before in a message.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

Well, no one's ever wanted to do that to you then.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

Like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 6:52

No, I'm kidding. No, no, I've never received that either. Um I I I like this is here say, I think this is a thing. And also, when it's in a text message, I feel like it's a butt. I feel like it's actually a butt. Um, have you ever seen that?

SPEAKER_00 7:06

I thought if I saw peaches, I assumed that it was a lumptuous butt like bosom or something, like not your like a cat would be your.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

We gotta pick a word for this. We've got to pick a word for the female body part that we're talking about. Because I remember I can't save China, it makes me uncomfortable. The fanny. Wait, what? The fanny. Fanny, okay. He's either saying he wants to lick the fanny.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

Hello.

unknown 7:40

Hello.

SPEAKER_01 7:41

Sorry, sorry, I was um I overzealously pressed my mic while holding it, talking about fannies and bums. And I turned it off.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

Fanny, hello, fanny.

SPEAKER_01 7:53

So yeah, he's either anyway, he's either talking about eating fanny or a bum. Um, which, yeah, thank you. Disgusting, right? Um I'm reacting appropriately to this.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

I'm only just finding out about this, and now I've got questions about my own uh peach.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

Ew, ew, I don't don't ask me. Ew, I don't want to know. I didn't like it in the movie, I don't like it now.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

What are your questions? Well, I just want to know why no one has sent me like a hey, I want to eat your peach.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Oh, maybe they're respectful people. No, that's definitely not it. Take that, every guy's ever dated.

SPEAKER_00 8:29

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:39

So, okay, Josh is good. You and Josh are just having a conversation on here um in time, space, continuum style, because he won't hear this for a day.

SPEAKER_00 8:49

But anyway, all right, so this when we're like broken up or something, and he'll be like, Motherfucker, fuck. I want to eat your peach.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

There's my chance. Okay, so I I I feel like we've done an overswing here because Tara has been for weeks going, we need to do finding Nemo. I just want to do Finding Nemo. Let's talk about Finding Nemo. And I keep going, there's no fucking villain in finding Nemo. It's not the point of the podcast. Do you want to make a new podcast that's about finding Nemo? Like it doesn't make it does not fit this. But anyway, this movie has the most obvious psychopath terrorist villain that's going to be really hard to make a case for anybody else.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

I believe otherwise. I believe anything that has got to do with entertainment, you can find a way to turn and manipulate anyone to be a villain.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

Tara thinks that the barracuda at the start of Nemo, who's there for one second, who's just eating, like every animal does in nature, is the villain of that movie.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

Yes. Technically, or the dad. But this is a topic for when we do show. I've got we've got games.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

You still insist that we're doing it. Is that what that is?

SPEAKER_00 10:04

I'm insistent that like I'll email and it'll be the best show you'll ever ever have. I was even prepping about how we could moose fish.

SPEAKER_01 10:15

You're prepped about how to moose a fish. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Yeah, well, because I was like, it it would be hard to moose a fish, but then I was like, hang on a minute, I think you could possibly find a way.

SPEAKER_01 10:26

Or you could cut its belly open, just a little slit.

SPEAKER_00 10:29

No, well, I was thinking like put it inside you, but then I was like, the scales might like, you know, it might be very uncomfortable. But then we went on to eels, and then he was like, I saw a video on someone sticking a snake up them, and then the topic went way off topic.

SPEAKER_01 10:42

Actually, it's funny that in that scenario when someone was moosing a fish, I immediately assumed I had a penis. I was like, cut a little slit open so you can stick your penis inside it. I'll just stick the fish inside me. Never assume for a second that I personally would actually do that and that I don't have a penis. Okay, well, we'll do who's the villain at the end. The first thing we're gonna do is kind of moose marry a void, but not really. I'm getting a little like for moose marry avoid. There's only so many times you can say you're gonna have sex with an animal. So, my my question for today is if you had to be in a relationship with one of these actors, would you go out with John Travolta or Nick Cage?

SPEAKER_00 11:26

John Travolta. Okay, come on, but support your argument. We know how we feel about Nicholas Cage. Weird. He's weird, weird, scary weird, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

John Travolta is kind of like safe and reliable, I feel like. He plays like a smooth operator guy. He's he's uh, you know, you'd be like a really nice guy.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

Every single morning, I'd be like, Googree, I'm a burning up. You'd make it fun. You'd bring the fun. Yeah, I'd bring the fun every every day. He would want to very quickly.

SPEAKER_01 12:07

John Travolta's wife and kid died. I don't know if he's would be much fun anymore.

SPEAKER_00 12:13

Surely he's just pretty much he's more like if he's not depressed and all that kind of stuff, he might be a more human human because he's experienced actual real life trauma, and you know, he's I don't know, lived a life of fame and losing his kids. So he'd have to be some sort of I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 12:33

I I yeah, so Travolta is like, I would trust this man with my life. Cage is like, I don't trust this man, but I can't look away. It's just he's just he's chaotic and crazy and entertaining, he's unpredictable.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

Um in the movie, actually, if we're talking about the movie characters, which we are, then definitely I would go Nicholas Cage because he is just like, yeah, oh, so much fun.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

I would think you would go, yeah, Nicolas Cage. You're pretty chaotic and unpredictable. I would think you guys have had matching energies, whereas I would be more a John Travolta person. I just need things to be calm, please. For the love of God, just everyone calm down.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

But there is that scene in the movie where the girl, his daughter, uh John Travolta's daughter, or whoever's daughter, is getting like the boyfriend is really being heavy on her, and he comes to the door and like drags her out and really like knocks him around, and it's kind of a very fatherly moment where you it's a quite attractive.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

Tara with daddy issues early in the pod. That's great. Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, so I I'm into John Travolta in this movie. You would choose Nick Cage. We we don't get a match, is that right? Yeah, no, I love an entertainment.

SPEAKER_00 13:57

100%, yeah. I'd be taking drugs and doing all that stuff and drinking and just yeah, I laugh casino, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:05

I think John Travolta would raise your children and Nicolas Cage would become one of your children. He's he'd need looking after, you know, he'd be worrying about everything he does all the time. All right, great. Have you got um two mooses and a lie? I do, yes, I do. Now, Tara Mooses are truths. Okay, there is only one lie.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

Because I miss I had to put two truths and a lie because that's what confuses me. If I go two mooses and a lie, I'm like, oh god, what's the moose?

SPEAKER_01 14:43

Well, the other word is lie, so it can only be one other thing. Oh my gosh, it's so frustrating for me. Breathe, Jasmine, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe. Go on, read your two mooses.

SPEAKER_00 14:55

I'm gonna get it this time. I'm getting it. I don't know why it bothers you so much. It's so funny because even the doing the one, two, three, like, my god, you get so like your ears get grinded high. Um, okay, so not correct. I'm listening. I'm listening. Oh, sorry, what did you say? No, I'm listening, I'm listening. Go ahead. I haven't read these either, so I want to be just as shocked as you. Okay. So because they're right in front of me, and I'm probably gonna read it first, but yeah. So one, Nicolas Cage and John Travolta studied each other's mannerisms so intensely that they would mimic each other between takes, even when cameras weren't rolling. Two, John Woo released actual doves on set to um so often that crew members started joking that they were part of the main cast and deserved credits. Three, Nicolas Cage refused to meet John Travolta before filming because he wanted their on-screen tension to feel authentically hostile.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

I I feel like there's two lies there. There's two things there are the stupid.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

No. Are you sure you haven't done two lies? I studied my part here, and I'm 100% sure that only one of them is a lie.

SPEAKER_01 16:11

You run it back through Chat GPT and says, Is this true? And it'll be like oh no, that's not true. I made it up. I bet you anything, they're both bullshit. But I think the the bird thing is like pretty expensive if you're gonna be releasing them over and over and over. And why are you releasing them so much? You couldn't get the shot. What are you doing? So that's weird. I think that might be the lie. And then three, they refuse to meet each other. Sure, they'd met each other before. They're both A-list actors. So three?

SPEAKER_00 16:45

Three is the lie? Yeah, is three the lie? Do we do a moose? Well, yeah, is it a good moose or a bad moose? Well, you tell me, is it a good moose or a bad moose? Okay, well, does this sound like uh what moose is this? Moose. Yes, you got it. Oh my god. They actually did work closely together, obviously, because they had to get to know each other's mannerisms.

SPEAKER_01 17:13

So more time, not less time. That's crazy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:17

And I actually have another one. I actually have another two. Actually, did you want them?

SPEAKER_01 17:22

I'm well, I'm I want to go out on on a on top. It doesn't, if I get anything wrong from here on out, it doesn't count. Okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 17:29

Okay, but if you do, does it count? I forget it counts, yes, of course. Um Nicholas Cage once randomly screamed, I'm a peach, I'm a peach, on um on set to unlock emotional chaos, and no one questioned it. They just rolled cameras like it was part of the script. Two. I can't have you. John Woo had so many doves on standby that the crew had a backup plan in case one flew into an explosion, which actually happened, and they just quietly replaced it like nothing occurred. Three, John Travolta and Nicolas Cage practiced each other's facial expressions in a mirror together and got so into it that crew members walked in and immediately walked back out without speaking.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

They're kind of similar to the first ones, aren't they? Which is the lie. I just I yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:26

What was the first one again? The first one was Nicholas Cadence randomly screamed, I'm the peach, I'm a peach.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

I think he might do that. He's a weirdo. Um, three, that the crew members had to walk back out. I don't know how that would be so well documented that Chat GPT would know that.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

It could have been documented in a like when they documented the actual, I don't know. Is it a lie? No, the I'm a peach, I'm a peach is a lie.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

Oh, that's the only one that I thought was probably true. Nick Cage is so weird.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

Which means that John Wu did have so many doves on standby that the crew had a backup plan in case one flew into an explosion, which actually happened. Um so yeah, they blew up a dove. Aww.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

Just just one dove? Wasn't it like a flock they were releasing? Anyway, it doesn't matter. I don't care about the doves. Um, okay, I have a I have a too no, no, not too many similar. I've got a I'm just gonna play this down. Oh my god. The reason I got confused is because I've got, instead of a big long am I the moose hole, I've got two really short ones for us to just discuss briefly. And they're kind of related to face off. So am I the asshole for thinking my husband's aunt should have debuted her plastic surgery before our wedding?

SPEAKER_00 20:09

Not at all. I think that's pretty important.

SPEAKER_01 20:12

Oh, really? She took all the limelight off the bride with her plastic surgery showing up at the wedding. I think that's just like fucking wearing new makeup or something. Like how you look is up to you when I don't. Also, again, with these people going, you know, I want my wedding to be a certain way, just focus on your partner. Did you guys get married? Just look, focus on each other. Why do you care? What are the other things that are happening? And they're just like so like ah, hang on, hang on. I'm gonna hang on because I yeah, so you sorry, you believe should have put a photo out there showing everyone before the day. Like, how would you even have that thought process of oh, everyone's gonna be looking at me instead of the bride? I'll just I'm just living my life. I've got some plastic surgery, and this is where I'm at with that stage of healing and recovery, and oh, I've got a wedding this weekend. I don't think I'm thinking that deeply about I've got to make sure the bride, you know what I mean? Am I the only one that feels this way? I think it's fine.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

Well, I don't know. If there's a wedding coming up, I'd be like, oh, I should get my Botox in order to like look good for the wedding because there's gonna be photos and all that kind of stuff. But I'm not gonna be like, oh, the bride's gonna look good. I'm gonna go get my Botox done because I want to, you know, piss her off.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

Yeah, you wouldn't think that there's any way you could upstage a bride. They're a bride, they're a bride, you got nothing to worry about.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

When they say the Arnie or a family member name, like there's usually more to that dynamic as to why they're so upset by it.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

I I wonder if it was like she became a man or something, like it was like full body transformation or something. I don't know. Like we're supposed to get every line that you have to be like, hang on a minute, you know, not my wedding. Come on. Um, okay, I've got another one.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Do you think it's selfish when someone you know when uh someone takes the chance to propose at a wedding?

SPEAKER_01 22:07

So I think you've got to ask the bride and groom.

SPEAKER_00 22:11

I think you've got to ask. Don't you reckon? A hundred percent, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

Yeah. So my brother proposed to his now wife at my ex-husband's, like, I think it was his 30th birthday. And he was like, Oh, can I do it? Because everybody's here and I want to do it in front of everyone. And I was like, Yeah, this party sucks. Make it a good party. Go for it.

unknown 22:34

Woohoo!

SPEAKER_01 22:35

Yeah. Um, but at someone else's wedding, I would be personally fine with it. So they can ask, but it also it's a bit of a weird ask. Why would you do that? Isn't anything that's weird? Making someone else's wedding about you. That's weird.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

No, no, well, there's those moments where it's actually kind of those cute moments where it's like your sister or someone where you actually know them in the family. So it kind of like it's the next chapter of the family becoming closer.

SPEAKER_01 23:02

I think it's weird. I don't think you should even ask. It is their day, the whole point of um weddings.

SPEAKER_00 23:10

I just like the fact that so it beats having it organized because then you've got to organize, and people are like, why? Why? Like, unless it's a huge like, and then they'll gather that you're gonna be proposed to if everyone's there and it's an event. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:26

Um, so I don't both of the things I chose had been, it was just the heading, and then the actual body of it has been removed from Reddit for some reason. So um, yeah, people said that sort of half, half, she is the asshole, she's not the asshole, whatever the aunt shouldn't have done it, blah, blah, blah, blah. But then the second one is am I the asshole for face tuning pics of my wife? But I don't have the body to know the context. But I'm like, on the surface of that, I'm like, yeah, you're the asshole.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

Yeah. So when you say face tuning, you mean like making her look better?

SPEAKER_01 24:02

Yeah, like using filters and stuff, taking a picture and then applying some sort of like whatever.

SPEAKER_00 24:08

I don't know because girls change guys all the time. I notice that girls are always changing their filters, and in the they gotta change the guy in the photo, otherwise it looks weird because you can see that's clearly been, you know, fixed. But why is it bad for the guy? Like, I get where it's rude because I would be offended too. I'd be like, what's wrong with my face?

SPEAKER_01 24:29

What if it was just a picture of the woman and he airbrushes it? Yeah, that's he's like, This is my girlfriend. This is what she looks like. But what about the other side of it where like she's like never likes any photos, always gets angry because you know, this is me and Matt I'm talking about now. Not that I get angry, but I'm like, don't show anyone that photo, that's horrific. Stop it, don't take photos of me. I never look good in photos, I'm really pretty in real life, and I'm I'm like a Shrek mutant in photos. It's fucked, it's it's awful.

SPEAKER_00 25:05

Photos that we used to take from our um digital, like the disposable cameras. And I think I tried to get you one time when you came out to visit me, and it's basically like a fuzzy version of your head moving, and there's one of you laying on the ground with you literally covering everything because you didn't want a photo. What's wrong with me? Yeah, yeah. You weren't a fan of it.

SPEAKER_01 25:32

Oh, they never show up good. So if Matt took a picture of me and then like touched me up a little bit, I'd be like, Thanks, babe.

unknown 25:38

Thanks, honey.

SPEAKER_01 25:39

Well, Josh, he does the thing about taking photos.

SPEAKER_00 25:44

Well, Josh takes it when I'm like fully like if I'm sitting in a way and my belly's folded in a way where it looks like a face, and he's like, You look so beautiful, and we'll take a photo. And I'm like, the fuck is wrong with you? Is this to like remind you of what I look like when we do break up? So then you can be like, Oh, she wasn't that good. Like, I don't, and he's like, and I'm like, it's not, it's that like it's really vulnerable. There's one of me like trying to clean my nose ring, and he's like lying on the bed, and from the angle, it looks like I'm picking my nose. And like so beautiful picking your nose. Yeah, it's all natural. I'm like, that's too natural.

SPEAKER_01 26:23

Yeah, you always look nice in photos. Yeah, we've got the opposite problem. Uh, okay. Well, that's that's the um am I the moose hole? And um yes, he's the moose hole. Yeah, you can't be airbrushing your girlfriend. What's wrong with you? She's beautiful exactly how she is. Um okay. Wouldn't you like some fun facts?

SPEAKER_00 26:50

Yes, actually, I have some fun facts about Nicolas Cage.

SPEAKER_01 26:54

Well, this Chat GPT is just really crapped on about these doves, hasn't it? It says directed by John Woo, hence the doves and the slow-bo.

SPEAKER_00 27:04

Doves in the I don't even remember the doves. I think there was like one scene where he walks through the church and the doves kind of fly up, and that's it.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

Yeah, I don't remember the doves. Um, all right. Well, that what's what are your fun facts? Give me a Nick Cage fun facts.

SPEAKER_00 27:19

Oh, okay. All right, so he bought a pyramid-shaped tomb in your um New Orleans.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

So, yeah, that was in the if he dies, he can go into his pyramid. Yeah. Oh, really? He wants to be, you know. Does he have a partner? Is he gonna take his partner into his pyramid tomb?

SPEAKER_00 27:39

Oh, I don't know. I didn't get that far. We chat.

SPEAKER_01 27:42

How big is the tomb? Has it got room for anyway? It doesn't matter. All right, yeah, weird. Yeah, he's like really preparing for the afterlife. Good on him. Maybe he's more organized than we thought.

SPEAKER_00 27:52

Yeah, it's bizarre. But um, he owned two albino king cobras named Moby and Sheba. Um he also kept an antidote as well, obviously. So if they got bit, they wouldn't die.

SPEAKER_01 28:06

So um the poison sacks removed or the fangs removed or whatever they do with cobras before they put him in the basket and then they play the music and then the cobra comes up out of the basket.

SPEAKER_00 28:16

Don't they defang him? This is respects to Nicolas Cage, because maybe he is one of those people that is like, you know, it's mean to do that, so we'll just keep the antidote if it does bite us, because uh yeah, actually, I don't know. I don't know much about albino cobras, but yeah. Why don't you know more about albino cobras, Tara? I don't know. I could tell you about anything else, birds, definitely, but not not cobras. Okay. Um $150 million he has spent on eccentric purchases. So I put aka fucking dumb shit, which included a haunted mansion, um, a Lamborghini from the monarch of Iran, a dinosaur skull, which he outbitted Leonardo DiCabrio for $70 million. But then there was another yeah, but there was another one that said $240,000 that he outbitted or whatever. Um, but it found later found out that the skull was stolen and um from the Mongolian government, so he had to return it back to the Mongolian government. And that's what happens when you've got too much money. Way too much money. He once woke up in the middle of the night to a naked man eating a fudge a fudge sickle at the end of his bed, which is just weird. Who was this man? What was he? A naked man eating a fudge a fudge sickle. And I'm questioning, is it his fudge sick? I can't even say it. Fudge sickle, or was it Nicolas Cage's one? Like, did he go into the fridge, get the the thing, and then go get unchanged and watch him sleep while he ate his like ate his food. It changes going through my fridge and shit is another topic. Like watching me sleep, I'm okay with, but you know, don't go through my you know, you give it to the house, you're checking out Nick Cage.

SPEAKER_01 30:12

Oh, he's got a fudge in his fridge, you eat that, wander around. I get that. But if you bring a fudge sickle from home, you're thinking, I'm gonna take a fudge sickle and I'm gonna go to Nick Cage's house and I'm gonna eat it on the end of his bed. It's different. Huh. Did you spend the whole time laughing? Because I couldn't hear anything. Were you just laughing?

SPEAKER_00 30:35

Did you say something? Everyone keeps calling me now, and it's really annoying because no one calls me.

SPEAKER_01 30:41

Oh well, I'm gonna go.

SPEAKER_00 30:44

No, it's people I don't want to talk to. Yeah, it's my dad, daddy issues.

SPEAKER_01 30:52

Well, now they've heard that you don't want to that we like doing the mass, like I called Tara at this time on a Tuesday. Oh it oh my god, Tara didn't want to talk to me. Uh decide who's the we need to decide who's the villain. Oh who do you reckon is the villain? Hey uh Tara, if you're talking, I can't hear anything. No, no, no. Oh my god, that was just scared. Fucking hell. Oh my god. Okay, no worries. I'll tell you who I think the villain is. Um, I'm gonna say cast a Troy, psychopath terrorist. But how these are the alternatives that Chat Gibert has thrown out for me. The FBI surgeons, zero ethics, saved their own skins, didn't care who got blown up by, you know. Like, don't you think they should have been tougher about it and going on all we're not doing it, we're not sewing his face on, go on kill us then, because we're not gonna be, you know, have a bomb blow up and millions of people dead to save our own skin. You know what I mean? Like, couldn't have they have been braver?

SPEAKER_00 32:03

Oh, a hundred percent. But that was the only way to get the information, so they kind of had to do that. But they should have they only picked like a very small crew of people that knew about this. So when they all died, it made it very hard for them to try and prove that he was actually the person he was. That's right. That was the challenge. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. Okay, what about uh you know what as well? It what gave it away, what what what saved um Nick or uh John Travolta to um for the wife to believe him was the fact that he put his hand over her face and when he became the bad one, he never did it. So she was like, It's not my husband. And that was it.

SPEAKER_01 32:46

That was right, they did this like loving, like hand face thing, which is funny that it was the faces that got swapped and they had this face language thing going on. But um, I like how in the middle of that sentence you sort of you got stuck on a word, and I don't think you realized it, but you went, it was funny.

SPEAKER_03 33:08

I did a kid now.

SPEAKER_00 33:11

Oh no, did you realize you did that but just kept going like it didn't happen? No, I didn't, but now I'm embarrassed for myself for when I listened. You just heard my whooba but just saying the rest of this sentence in my head. I'm like, oh my god, I can't wait to point out to her what she just did. I won't interrupt. The villain is jasmine, okay? The villain is jasmine.

SPEAKER_01 33:43

Yeah, I'm always a villain, definitely. Uh, but Sean Archer's obsession, so he kind of ruins his own life chasing revenge for his son.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

Yeah, no, but then he gets the son in the end, too. So it's a win-win. He gets his son. No, he gets like the bad person, Caster, whatever his name is. Like he because he has a kid with the lady. So when he dies, they end up just replacing the son that was dead with the actual killer's own son.

SPEAKER_01 34:16

I don't remember that, and that is a psychotic fucking twist.

SPEAKER_00 34:21

So what's even worse is they train the son to do what they um do with the whole putting the hand over the face. So, yeah, his dad's very angry about the fact that his nar like his worst enemy got his son and is teaching him trademarks of what would make him just want to kill him.

SPEAKER_01 34:42

Okay, well, yeah, this movie's fucked. Um, they're all villains. And who the writers of the movie? Oh, we haven't had that before. The writers, the writers of the movie, it turns out, are the the villains of this movie. Okay, with the idea, they need to be shot. The exact who approved it. Anyone was involved with the making of this movie. Like, give us some credit. This is you know wildly ridiculous. Uh, but for some reason, fantastic, and it worked, and it's like one of the best movies of all time, I'm quite sure of it. Um, 100%. Yeah. Well, that's it. Yay. So what are we doing? When are we doing say again?

SPEAKER_00 35:27

When are we doing finding Nemo?

SPEAKER_01 35:30

Oh my gosh.

unknown 35:32

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 35:33

You know, you'll be like, that was the best episode of my life.

SPEAKER_01 35:38

Oh, well, no, this one's the best one because you said what were bore.

SPEAKER_00 35:44

We've won. I can't I can't wait to listen back on that.

SPEAKER_01 35:54

Uh okay. Thanks for listening, everyone. And remember, guys, if someone's acting weird, just check if they've stolen someone's face. Amen to that. Amen to that.