Just Talking Unfiltered

Shrimp, Stadiums, And Shenanigans

• Winston and Brian • Episode 6

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 1:36:04

Send us Fan Mail

FOLLOW US ON SOCIALS HERE----> https://linktr.ee/Justtalkingunfiltered 

0:00

Cold Open And Rowdy Theme

1:24

Catching Up After Three Weeks

4:20

Charlotte Trip Setup

7:15

Panthers Game Chaos And Lost Seats

13:45

Tailgate, Beer Missions, And Halftime Misadventures

19:10

Postgame Ramp Walk And Drunk Antics

24:00

NASCAR Hall Of Fame And Sim Rig Glory

31:05

Food Talk: Taco Bell, BBQ, And Concessions

36:30

Life Updates, Fantasy Sports, And Routine Ruts

42:10

Appetizer Debate: Building The Top Five

52:30

Jalapeño Poppers Vs Mozz Sticks

57:40

Wing Rankings And Blind Taste Test Plan

1:02:20

Pepperoncini Shots And Kitchen Chaos

1:10:30

Shrimp Interlude And Comfort Food

1:17:40

Viral Video Rabbit Hole

1:26:20

Fine Dining Dreams And “Fancy Chef” Lore

1:33:30

Calling The Fancy Chef Goes Sideways

Support the show

Cold Open And Rowdy Theme

SPEAKER_01

Um yum yum yup yum yup yum Yo it's Winston and Ryan, the unfiltered groove. Fat bearded legends with opinions for you. Exercise laughs, no filter, no cap, poor drink, take a sneak, we just talk and rap. Winston in the corner with the whiskey in his fist, Ryan yelling loud. Every topic gets dissed. Beard's so thick, they can smuggle the birds, kick. Voices boomin' harder than the 12-minute stuff, kick. Grab your low scar, we ain't polite. Welcome to the show, it's a bar fight tonight. Just talking nuts, built the no rules, coach date. Two fat boys taking over the game. Texas key, Texas, beats, grab a mic and ignite. It's wins and fine, keep it raw, keep it tight. Just talking nuts, built the no rules, coach date. Two fat boys taking over the game. Texas speed, Texas beats, grab a mic and ignite. It's winst and fine, keep it raw, keep it tight. Ryan got the volume of a megaphone riot. Winston got the boots, but his liver stayed quiet. Topics jump wild like a bull in the shoot. From brisket to politics, no subjects move. Barbecued stains on a microphone grip. Spit far harder than a jalapeno dip. Put test kings, yeah. We talk that smack. If you're looking for a chill, better send it back.

Catching Up After Three Weeks

SPEAKER_16

My God. Brian, Brian, Brian. What's up? Hello, and welcome everyone to episode what is it, six? Six. Six, my guys, my peoples, my gals. Episode six six ah. I might have been a racist.

SPEAKER_15

I don't know. I don't know, bro.

SPEAKER_16

Um, but yeah, welcome everybody to episode six of Just Talking Unfiltered. We're happy to be here and happy you're here. What's good? What's your big dog? Bro, it's been a minute. It has been a fucking minute. I feel like we're Minutemen. Well, not me. I know I'm a Minuteman. Yeah. And when I think of so it's funny, when I think of Minutemen, all I think about is the Minutemen from like Massachusetts during the uh Revolutionary War. That's right. That's exactly what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. Right. What's the shit? Uh with the three Romanoodles? Musketeers. No, the three Roman noodles. Roman noodles? Yeah, the Roman noodles. Um about that shit my ex was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Three percenter? Yeah, three minute man. All right, you'll be playing video. Hey, open it up, baby. All right. This one is dedicated uh to all your exes and the most recent one.

SPEAKER_14

What's up with the music, buddy?

Charlotte Trip Setup

SPEAKER_16

That was but like heavy on the crazy bitch part. Oh man, that was that was a hell of a way to open up. I've I feel pumped now. I'm gonna crack this uh ultra wild passion monster. I got my trulies. Bro, it's been like um two weeks since we've done the podcast. It's actually been more. Has it been more? It has been more, yeah. I don't know the exact date. So three weeks? Bro, in maybe. Yeah, it's been about three weeks. It's been three weeks. Yeah. Uh timing has been kind of off. Uh, y'all haven't really missed much because we've still been putting stuff out because we've uh been on top of the game, so we gotta get back on top of it. Speaking of game, we just had an adventure. Oh, we did. We did, yeah. Yeah, and we saw uh one of our TikTok idols. Yes. I was so fucking pumped. I was so fucking pumped. Bro, uh so uh last week we went to the Carolina Saints game down in Charlotte. Right. I was gonna see if I could find his fucking TikTok. Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_14

That's okay.

SPEAKER_16

Um, but you guys have all seen uh if you guys have watched and seen our clip of Carolina Mike, Carolina Mick. Um go ahead and uh give us a few lines to his music. Uh if you had a hundred and fifty thousand.

SPEAKER_05

Then what would you do? What would you do?

SPEAKER_16

Yeah, that was pretty good. Um, pretty accurate, too. Yeah. Um, especially when you changed it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sounded just like him. Yeah. Dude, I saw him like um so all right. All right. So we go to the stadium, uh, we park in a parking garage. Uh we get pretty fucking faded at the tailgate. We we spent a whole weekend in Charlotte, and I didn't catch a buzz until Sunday. Yeah. Uh kind of upset about that, actually. My own fault, but I think Friday I got a buzz. You might have been just so fucking tired that you thought it was a buzz. Right. It could have it could have been a little combo. Yeah.

SPEAKER_15

Um, Saturday, I got one when we got back to the Airbnb before, because bro, we were we were at the Airbnb for what, like 30 minutes, and I downed like yeah, I downed like five or six Trulies before we went to the NASCAR Hall of Fame, right? Which was an amazing experience. We're gonna get into that in a little bit.

Panthers Game Chaos And Lost Seats

SPEAKER_16

Yeah. Uh so I had a the whole time we were walking around the NASCAR Hall of Fame, I was just fucking having a great time. Um Yeah, this motherfucker was like, oh, the the Uber will be here in 30 minutes, or the girls will be ready in 30 minutes? No problem. It was like a fucking six shooter of him just fucking hugging drink. I'm trying to keep up with him, and I'm like, I can't. I'm getting bloated and shit. I can't keep up. And see, that's why I'm saying that I can probably out drink Dr. Dew. You can't. I can. I'm I'm gonna set it up. I bro, I need to. We have to get him. I keep talking about it. I just yeah, we'll we'll get them. Anyways, um, so we we drink at the tailgate, we get fucking faded. Um, one of our other friends went with us. He looked at me and he's like, bro, I'm fucked up. I'm like, yeah, you're preaching to the fucking choir on that one. And um, we go to the stadium and uh we kind of split off, you know. Two of them go get food. Yep. Me and my girl go get food. Or no, we I can't remember what the order was. I think but uh yeah, we went and got food. We went and got food, and you you went up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You went up with my beers. We're like walking up this fucking 72 steps because one of the guys told me. And I get to the seats and I'm looking and I'm like, Winston, where are the rest of the seats at? He's like, bro, I don't know. I don't even think these are our seats. I stopped to take a rest. He stopped past our seats to take a rest. By by only one.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_16

But if he would have stayed where we were supposed to sit at, he wouldn't have gotten tired. I was still tired. And and see, as a larger guy, uh, one thing that I love and I value when I'm choosing tickets is an aisle seat.

SPEAKER_15

Right. I don't like to be sandwiched in. It's not a good sandwich. You ever get a you ever go to like Wawa and get that a double meat Italian? It's it's too much for the bread. You know what I'm saying? And so that's what happens when I sit in between people at any type of outright, you know, event.

SPEAKER_16

And uh we'll we'll post pictures up here of uh what was going on. Maybe put the video of Carolina Mick. Oh, yeah. Carolina Mike. This uh, so we get we get down to our seats and like Winston you gonna join us? Nah, nah, y'all are inside. I'm outside. Hey, and uh here's here's here's my reasoning. One, I had an aisle seat, all right? Right, and two, I could still interact with y'all because y'all were one down and maybe over four seats. A little foreshadowing that changes. Um, dude, so we fucking um he texted me. Hey, I don't think we're in the right section. And I turned around and looked at him and he said, no, text me. And I said, No, I'm gonna say this out loud. 48, 46, 47. He's like, Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay. He just wanted me to turn the fuck around. I'm sure I was being loud as fuck at that point. So then uh halftime comes around, and um we all go back to our seats. So we're supposed to. Right. Take it away. Um yeah, so after halftime, um, I had gone down and gotten a dry ass fucking barbecue sandwich.

SPEAKER_15

I'll be honest, for being in Charlotte, uh, you know, Carolina, you would think, you know, barbecue.

SPEAKER_16

Very terrible sandwich. I did not have a good time with that sandwich. Well, that's because we were in the fucking upper section. Yeah. Yeah. But um they had like full fledgesta restaurants on the 100s.

SPEAKER_15

Yeah. But uh, so I go back to my seat, right? And I was the uh section that our tickets were, so I was like row section 547, row 22, seat 22, right? Because I remember the 22, 22. Right. And then earlier the seat that I found was uh in row 23, right? So I'm climbing and knowing that, uh, I didn't know how tall these fucking stadiums were.

SPEAKER_16

Right. And uh was that your first game? That was my first NFL game. That's the um yeah, no, it was great. But being drunk and climbing and looking back behind me, drunk is an understatement. Yeah, we're gonna get into that.

SPEAKER_15

Um, so anyway, I go to row 23 and I see my aisle seat, and I'm like, right, there's a lot of trash here that wasn't here before. There's like bottles and shit. And I was like, I didn't leave these. Right. And uh I'm looking around, I'm like, where's everybody at? And uh I f uh our friend that went with us had a bright orange hat on.

SPEAKER_16

And uh so I just started scanning and I found that orange hat. Right. And that's when I text you and I said, uh to look left or whatever the fuck. Yeah, he said, uh, I'm nowhere near you, I'm way left of you. And it took me a long time to find him. But uh our buddy has a picture of the stadium and he's kind of like pan in the stadium, and then it zooms in on Winston about a mile away. I don't know how I ended up there, but it was crazy that the same identical seat was free. Well, at that point, yeah, because they were doing so terrible. Yeah, and uh But do you think that he tried to come back to his friends? Didn't no, I did not. He's like, I'm not climbing those stairs again. No, fuck those stairs, dude. That's why I live on the first floor. Right. Yeah, basically the basement.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

Tailgate, Beer Missions, And Halftime Misadventures

SPEAKER_16

But that was the other one. That was the other one. Yeah. Um dog, I went to your Taco Bell today. That's not my Taco Bell. I go to the one down yonder. No, this is your Taco Bell. If there's a Taco Bell within a half a mile of your house, guess what? Your Taco Bell. No, because I don't go to that one. I go to the bottom. I've never been in a Taco Bell that smelled like weed. I thought I was at a dispensary. They're dispensing that good tacos. Yeah, probably. Yeah, that was uh Yeah, I didn't love it. Yeah. Um but yeah, no, uh I stayed there in that seat. That Taco Bell? No, I was going back. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because after that, I went down to get me another beer and I had to piss really bad. Yeah, he really needed that another beer. I really did. Yeah. And then uh I got drunk. No, right there at the bottom. Well, actually, yes, but at the bottom of those main sections. Right. Um handicap seats. Yeah, the handicapped seats. Right. These dudes, I was just standing there and these dudes left, and so I sat down. Right. They were like, he probably needs that spot. Yeah. So that was fun. Hell yeah. I remember uh we're leaving the stadium. We're like leaving and we're walking down. We could took the escalator, but the escalator was like packed, stupid packed. And so we took like the uh ramp down, saying five fucking stories or whatever it was. Winston's fucking pissy drunk, and he looks at me and he goes, Hey. I think your ex wants I don't know what part you bleeped out. Oh, I wasn't gonna say the name. Oh, okay. Well, he was like, I think your ex wants me. And I was like, Okay. And he's like, uh, yeah, because uh she likes she keeps liking my stuff, uh all my selfies. And that's what's up, man. And he was like, um, he was like, Yeah, uh uh, so don't be mad. I was like, hold on, what is she liking? He's like, my Snapchat stories. And I was like, She can't like Snapchat stories. All right, all right, not up there. I was like, hey man, whatever. I was like, Hannah said good morning to you this morning. You think she likes you? This motherfucker was on when we get out to the main street, and he's like fucking smacking signs, body checking fences. I was having a great time. Yeah, yeah. He um, if you looked at his social media, you would think he was by himself. No, because he was during the game. You were definitely by yourself, bro. You spent a whole second half two sections away from us. So you were definitely at a different you were by yourself. We're over here taking fucking pictures together. Winston's and none of them. None of them. I took pictures of y'all from a million miles away. I saw them. Yeah, it's just all of us flipping you off. Yeah, but uh, we get out there and then I'm like, dude, I had a rough time that weekend, man, because I was fucking like constipated. Right. Like, I was backed up. It was it's so you were washing your hands for like 30 minutes. Yeah, yeah, dawg. And um, so I'm like, I gotta go to the bathroom. They're like, hey, we might get something to eat, because we're about to hit the road and come back. I at this point I didn't sober it up. You know, I did my due diligence, due diligence, due diligence, due diligence. I did something with diligence. And um What the fuck? So I call Winston.

SPEAKER_00

Bring bring.

SPEAKER_16

All right, you be Winston, I'll be me. What's good with the Playboy? And that's how he answered. Hey, um, we're gonna go to this bar and get food. Do you want to join? Bro, I'm chilling right here. I got free beer. See how nobody said anything about alcohol? But he went straight to alcohol. I'm not hungry, dog. So I hung up on him. Yeah. I hung up on him, and uh, I just texted him really nicely and said, Hey, be cool if you hung out with us. And he did not. And um, we found a bar for like two hours, and uh it didn't feel like two hours. What'd you do, Winston, during the two hours? I drank him on Tailgate. Yeah, yeah, dog. I come, I like finally come back, and um I'm walking up the ramp, and there's this a trail of what I already knew was piss, but I will call it water. There was a trail of water going all the way down to the fucking entrance, and I'm like, as I get closer and closer, it builds up, and I was like, bro, we're up here pissing. And Hannah's like, on camera. I was like, awesome. You know what he's doing? Making OnlyFans. You you know, you know what you were doing when I got up there? Pissing? Oh, what was I doing? Eating, even though you didn't want any food. Oh, yeah. Troublesome. That's right, Brian. And then he died for an entire trip from Charlotte back to Bro, I fucking time travel, dog. I I I was bent time and space. Yeah. And fucking I closed my eyes, and when I woke up, we were in Emporio. Yeah.

SPEAKER_14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_16

I tried to shake you and wake you up because you stopped breathing and you did not do anything. You didn't even start breathing yet. It took you a second. Yeah, dude. Um, it probably has to do with like uh my body just trying to like sue us itself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Uh it's like, you know what? I've had I've I've seen enough. I'm I'm done. Right. Right. Your brain's trying to get away from your body. Right, it's letting the intrusive thoughts win. Like, I'm out. Right. Don't want to be here anymore. Deuces, everybody. Deuces like this? I said, I did like that. No, you did like this. Bro, roll it back. Roll it back. Till the pink one in the sink. You did like this.

SPEAKER_15

Deuces.

SPEAKER_16

Yeah, you were like deuces, buddy. Right. Thought you was a fucking Klingon. No, that. Yeah. How's the uh week been since being back? How much do you want to get into about any of the other stuff? None of it? Uh well, I mean, the NASCAR Hall of Fame was fucking dope. Well, that's not what I meant, but okay. Okay, okay. Um whoop, whoop. Um, yeah, the normal. I don't I don't even I'm surprised every fucking time that you do that. I'm like, what is he getting? Fucking retarded. Right? You're like, bro, you got a surprise for it? Right. Thought you had a present.

SPEAKER_11

Hell yeah. Drink it. That's right. Put it down your throat.

SPEAKER_16

Um bro, we got the number one time for the pit crew challenge. We did. Right there. That's right.

SPEAKER_14

Yeah.

Postgame Ramp Walk And Drunk Antics

SPEAKER_16

No, it took us 22 tries. Probably not relevant information, but seven. Took us seven times. Seven times. We did it though. Yeah. All I have to do is put gas in the car. I I jacked the car. Jay did. Yeah. Like Derek Carr. Right. Bro, I got first place in the simulator. I got second. That was cool. That was fun.

SPEAKER_15

At the NASCAR Hall of Fame, they've got full NASCARs that have been configured into entry-level racing simulators.

SPEAKER_16

Yeah. But the car is like, it's a full-size car, but inside the interior is cut in half. Yeah, it's like, it's like it's it's not cut in half, but it's like there's a wall. Yeah, there's a partition. Yeah, partition. Yeah. Sorry, I was thinking about Beyonce. Yeah. I was too. Um, so yeah, we uh don't we all think about Beyonce though? We all yeah. Beyonce is so hot. Do you think that was a country album? Um, I don't care. She's hot as fuck. She could have said that shit was a pop album. She could have said that shit was fucking RB blues. I don't give a shit. Korean.

SPEAKER_14

Yeah, I don't care.

SPEAKER_16

She's hot. Yeah. She is my K-pop demon hunter. I love her. Oh yeah. Yeah. I like I love that for you. Yeah. Um, but yeah, the uh simulator was dope. Uh we uh first place, baby. We've we sat there for at least five races before it was our turn, and not once did I see anybody jump out of the car and just put their finger up. But as soon as I fucking won, I was like, that's right, baby, pole position first place. The closest person to me was Winston, a lap down. Uh let's get it. Bro, that's because on the first lap, everyone else just started wrecking into everybody. Yeah, I got wrecked into as well. Yeah. It sucked. Yeah, dude. Yeah, it wasn't fun. Uh definitely, uh, their eye racing score would definitely be down if that was real.

SPEAKER_15

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_16

Bro, we gotta get back in the rigs. Yeah. I went and looked at mine today. Still there. I'm glad I just bro.

SPEAKER_15

We invested so much money into uh these racing simulators. Like, we gotta dust them off.

SPEAKER_16

Yeah. Yeah. Um, I think I got another video for you. Oh see what it is. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_13

I'm gonna show you how to make uh moldy faces.

SPEAKER_05

Okay, blushing okay, okay, yummy good.

SPEAKER_06

Oh goodness, oh Bob and Susie, oh I love him.

SPEAKER_14

He definitely has some kind of ailment, but I love him.

SPEAKER_16

For sure. Oh shit, dude. What else did we do? Uh drank a lot, ate a lot, ate probably way more than we ever should. We have a friend that's super in shape. Yeah. Super in shape. And he orders so much food. He was eating like fucking 5,000 calories of fucking meal. He ordered a for breakfast at a diner. Yeah. Ordered an entire half chicken. So not entire. It's an entire half. It's not a partial half. Alright, yeah, yeah. That would be a quarter. No, I said partial. I didn't say half of a half. Half of a half is a quarter. Alright. Alright. Yeah. A full half. An entire half. There it is. That's what I said the first time. Okay. Alright.

SPEAKER_15

Order an entire full size half chicken. Right. Now, you think that would be enough? For me it would. Alright, right. But no, no, no.

NASCAR Hall Of Fame And Sim Rig Glory

SPEAKER_16

You ordered biscuits and gravy. Yeah. And a sweet tea that was or an unsweet tea that was sweet. Yeah. I love how the waitress didn't believe you when you were like, no, he said unsweet tea. She's like, ha ha ha. Right. Yeah. Um. Yeah, she was too busy trying to give you head. Oh man. As soon as as soon as I started ordering, she just got down to Winston's level and was like and just kissed her dick. Yeah, I was like, hey, good morning. I love breakfast. Right. Oh. I got an omelet. Oh. Knock knock. Who's there? Omelette. Omelet who? I'm gonna let these nuts sit on your face. Jokes are still. Not non-jucks. You like knock non-jucks? Maybe. Maybe. We got a fucking friend named Knock Knock. Yeah. I saw he uh was that him that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Motherfucking um Pablo. Escobar. Pablo.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, what's what else has been up with you, man? It's been three fucking weeks, man. What you had going on?

SPEAKER_15

Bro. Bro.

SPEAKER_16

Let me tell you about some crazy fucking shit. Tell me the craziest shit. Um, yeah, dude. It's been a wild fucking few weeks and so. I've been shit like three times a day. It doesn't make any sense. All right. Yeah. Um, how's your diet? It's decent. Don't you keep your like your cheese outside of the refrigerator or something? No, no, no, no, no. I've got a whole rack of cheese in that son of a bitch. And that's why you're shitting so much. I don't eat the cheese. You just buy it to have it. I'm a collector. Dude, shitting that much is not great, dude. Yeah, dude, I know. And it's not even like solid. Yeah. Scressed. You might need to go to the doctor, get a colonoscopy. I don't know about that, but I will be bringing it up and uh bringing it to their attention. Right. They're gonna do it. They're gonna they're gonna colonoscopy you. Let me let me see that butthole. Yeah. I'll be like, uh, if Brian was here, they're gonna like present it. You'd be excited. Let me see your brown eye. Right. Look at a little wing to me. Right. Now cough. That's right. I don't think you'd cough with the butthole stuff. I don't know though. I don't fucking know. If it's anything like a vagina, it would try to shoot it out. Or squeeze on it. You ever had sex with a girl and she like coughed? Uh there were You're like hitting it. And that shit's like there was recent talks about it.

SPEAKER_14

About coughing?

SPEAKER_16

Uh no, about you know, doing that on purpose. Being like, you know, in the middle of it and like tickling her nose or something, making her sneeze. Y'all talked about it? Alright, well, I'm fucking you. What I want you to do is sneeze.

SPEAKER_12

I can't just sneeze on it. He's blowing fucking pepper in her mouth.

SPEAKER_16

Yeah, it did feel good.

SPEAKER_12

I hate how long it takes, you for nothing to happen.

SPEAKER_11

Gyowza!

SPEAKER_16

Listen, I for it to be three weeks, man, it feels like the first episode again. Bro, it really fucking does.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_16

You crazy bitch.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah. Um bro, how do you feel?

SPEAKER_16

If you woke up tomorrow and you were a girl, what's the first thing you're doing? Probably gonna like finger bang yourself. I guess, yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna I guess it wouldn't be called whacking off, but I'm gonna flick that bean. Bro, do you think it would even like like you say that, but it all depends. Are you gonna have a girl brain or like is it gonna be like you inside the body?

SPEAKER_15

Right. Like, am I gonna have to like get in the mood and have somebody tell me nice things about me? Right. Right. I'm like, I don't want me.

SPEAKER_16

I think the first thing that I would do is I'd be I would grab my titties. Right. Just to see how it feels. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

I don't know.

SPEAKER_16

I have had much of nothing going on, to be honest. Really? Yeah. Uh didn't Ollie start hockey? Ollie um attempted to start hockey. Fuck. What? I forgot to move my players. Yeah, fantasy this year, if anybody's wondering. You're not, but I am. Um I'm murdering everybody as usual. Nobody likes to play me. So and Winston is in dead last. Oh my god, it's so fucking bad, dude. Um as much as he bitched about people last year, like hey, hey, people that don't change this stuff and blah, blah, blah. It's him. Okay. That's because last year it was me, you, and Hannah. We were the only ones that were actually moving players. So last year you were winning by not moving your players? No, no, no. I I was. I just had a better memory or some shit. Right. Yeah, I mean your mind's probably preoccupied. Yeah, dude. I mean, the only people that I have playing right now is Carolina and Guerrilla. Utah. So I've got The Mammoth. I only have four people playing, and two of them are benched. Yeah, so um, yeah. Uh Ollie attempted to start hockey. Um, he's not a big fan of all of it yet, but he's coming around. He's three, so it'll be fine. Bro, this is the age that like the pros start. Sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um I don't know. I just feel like I've been so fucking bored lately. Like life has just been kind of just mundane, just doing the same fucking thing every day all day. Yeah. And um not the biggest fan about it. Yeah. Uh that's kind of the way things have been around here.

SPEAKER_12

Has it? Has it?

SPEAKER_16

Do you have the do you have those already in koozies? I am prepared. Right. Uh, but yes. I just want you to know that you're a coward. All right. Listen. Just because I put my shit in koozies, right, doesn't make me a coward. Well, some things do. Do they?

SPEAKER_14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_16

Well, according. Right. According to Facebook. According to the media. The media. Yeah. Um but you know, some people's favorite character and the Wizard of Oz was the cowardly lion. I think my favorite person was oh, I really like the fucking scarecrow. Muffer was dumb as shit. Yeah, you didn't have a brain. Yeah. I'm just like him.

SPEAKER_15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_16

Doo doo doo doo doo. Just going through everything.

SPEAKER_15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_16

Yeah. Oh man. Um, these new trulys are alright. Have you ever tried to like rap? Like legit tried to rap, like wrote something down and rapped. Uh sometimes I have dreams and I'll have a rap in the dream. Like this is no joke. Like, I'll be on stage like an eight mile, and I'm like spitting some shit, and I'm like, I wake up and I'm like, oh shit. And don't remember any of it. Oh shit, I gotta write this down.

Food Talk: Taco Bell, BBQ, And Concessions

SPEAKER_15

And then I don't have a pen and paper, and I'm like, all right, just repeat it a little bit and I'll I'll play it back a couple times. I'm like, all right, I got it, I got it, I got it. Right. Let me go to sleep. I wake up and then two days later I remember that dream. I'm like, oh fuck. I could have, I I could've I could have had a golden record or whatever.

SPEAKER_16

Right. A golden record.

SPEAKER_12

And my dreams ever anytime I do anything, I'm like, fuck her that.

SPEAKER_16

Yeah. That's it. That's how my dreams are when I'm rapping. Yeah. Not mine. Mine are mine are like legit. At least I think they are. I haven't dreamed in a while. Ever since uh ever since Gunther. Really? Yeah, that's the last time I dreamed. Oh no. I dreamed last night. Remember? Oh, I dreamed last night. Yes. Bro, I was telling Winston about this before the podcast. Um, I had a dream about uh Weepy. Weepy. And uh it was like we were at a fucking like some kind of retreat of sorts. Right. Like I don't even know how to explain it. It was like a almost churchy type thing. But uh Winston was like, Oh, are y'all gay in it? And I was like, no, not me, but this dude like pronounced his love, announced his pronounced yeah, that's it, pronounced his love to another guy. Bro, I feel uh you probably just looked into the future, it probably like wasn't bro. It's not far off. Yeah, that's probably why him and Fagan didn't work out, right? Yeah, that's insane. I remember when uh me and um when we uh first started talking, it was me, you, Nox, and Weep. We went to um her house for 4th of July. Yeah, and like uh we had fun. We got drunk. Candle jam. Remember, she was bringing us fucking drinks on a platter. Oh yeah, yeah, that shit was insane. Uh it was a party, a time was had. And uh, I remember Weepy fucking went up to the dad and was like, I just want to let you know I have feelings for your daughter. And I'm like, fuck is he talking about? Yeah, so fuck him. He's gay in my dreams. That's all that matters to me. I mean, the whole thing I went through with him last year and having to I mean it worked out because I ended up getting my own place and whatnot. Yeah. And then uh Trigger taking fucking forgot about that guy. Bro. So it was uh four it was a fall morning. No, four, it was a four-bedroom. It was a four-bedroom townhouse, and I was renting out one of the rooms, and then there was another guy, and then uh Weepy and his girl for a little bit. Right, right, right, right, right, right. And uh stayed there for about a year, and uh this one dude, Trigger, always stayed in his room unless he was in the bathroom for two fucking hours. That's the same shit my son does. Bro, and I there there were times I was late to work because I was like, hey, bro, right, I gotta go to work. Yeah, I remember you calling me and be like, this motherfucker won't. I was like, man, kick the door in. Fuck it. Kick him in and drag him out of the fucking shower naked. Who gives a fuck? I don't know. I don't I don't want to see them slipping and sliding all over the fucking place. Get come back here, right? Jesus Christ. Oh yeah. Um remember when Weepy said that uh your girl did meth? Oh bro, bro, bro. We're at the bar. We're at the bar. And um this motherfucker is like, um, hey bro, I need to talk to you real quick.

SPEAKER_12

Oh hey, man, I'm having fun. Like, I'm trying to like finger bang this chick.

SPEAKER_16

You know what I mean? I'm trying to touch a butthole or two. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like, maybe three. Maybe three. Play with some titties, you know. I'm vibing. He's like, no, I'd be quick.

SPEAKER_12

I'm like, all right. He's like, hey man, I just want to let you know your girl, she did meth tonight. I was like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_16

I was like, I can't fuck with somebody doing meth. Like, that's insane. Yeah. So I remember pulling Buddha to the side. I was like, Buddha. Does O girl do meth? He was like, no, she'll barely even smoke weed. And I was like, all right, cool. I was like, because uh Weep just told me that uh she was doing meth. And he was like, I don't know, bro. Uh and then Weepy came up to me and said, Hey bro, I'm sorry. Your girl's not doing meth. I am. And if uh that's what meth makes you do, I don't want any. Bro, that was that was an insane night. I think that was the same night that he pulled his bike behind Smeagol's best.

Life Updates, Fantasy Sports, And Routine Ruts

SPEAKER_15

And uh my presence.

SPEAKER_17

Right.

SPEAKER_16

Oh yeah, and fuck that chick on the grease trap. Right. Yeah. Love to get him on the podcast. That'd be funny. Uh no, probably plugs. Right. Right. Right. Look what I whittled today. Right. Good old anal smasher pine thousand. Pine thousand. Good times used to be had. Yeah, and now I went three weeks without doing anything. Right. And uh you didn't. Two weeks. A week. A week. I think I got another video for you. Let's see. Oh, this is you without a beard. Oh yeah, back in my karate days.

SPEAKER_14

Oh, down here. Play. Play. Play. Play. Yeah.

SPEAKER_16

I don't know why anything is not working today. I just hardened it on accident. I don't know, bro. Things aren't working how it's supposed to. And um, let me fucking. I hate it so much sometimes. It's there we go. Bro, that's that's agility, dog. The fucked up thing is I didn't even think I could do that. I don't think I could. I could do that. Do it. There's not enough room. Do it. It's not enough room. We'll pan the camera over there and you do it over there. There's again, not enough room. I'll be out of breath like a motherfucker, though. You was out of breath doing that.

unknown

You're not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_16

You're not lying. Right. Oh man. Um. What's your favorite kind of onion? Huh? What's your favorite kind of onion? Onion? Yeah. Like you can have an onion any type of way. What would it be? I don't understand the question. Peeled? No. You're just gonna bite into the side of a motherfucking onion? No. I don't really fuck with onions like that. I mean, I guess sauteed. Is that what you're saying? I mean, you got sauteed, you got um diced? Yeah, diced, yeah, that's a good one. Um I like the one that comes on the burgers at like McDonald's. Like little French onions? No, no, no. The ones that are like super fucking diced up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like minced. They're like sweet almost. Yeah, minced. Um talking about fucking onions. I loved the one that was at uh Texas Roadhouse. That was the uh the bloomin' onion? It was the equivalent. They called it something else, like rattlesnake. The down onion. Nope. That's that's Outback Steakhouse. What do you think? The one at Texas Roadhouse. Oh, they used to call that gent like the Austin Onion. Nope. It was like rattlesnake bites or something. Oh, yeah. That was my favorite. Thank you. Thank you. I'll pick that every day, every time, baby. Texas Roadhouse, you got my love. I gotta go fucking Mott Sticks. Um, now I was just talking about my favorite onion. Now, if we're going into the fuck, hold on. World of appetizers. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Back up, back up. Why would you say what is your favorite onion? Just to set me up to say sauteed so you can say a fucking bloomin' onion. Because that's my favorite kind of onion. You could have picked any fucking thing. There's four different fucking onions. There's more than that. What's your favorite apple? Uh, I prefer uh Macintosh. Okay. Name name four more. Uh Fuji, Granny Smith, you got your red sweets. This is dumb. All right, end it. I don't care. Name different oranges. Name different bananas. There it is. Plantains. Nope.

SPEAKER_12

Plantains.

SPEAKER_16

You've got riot bananas. You've got banana bananas. Appetizers. Alright, yeah. Now, let me ask you this. Uh, did you like any appetizers from Lindy's? Uh did I get appetizers there? What did I get? I think you got some delicious wings. No, I did not get delicious fucking wings. Uh see, this is the shit he does. He tries to amp me up to fucking just cuss and get mad. Did I get an appetizer there? No. Alright then. What the fuck? Um Bro, um I like a good potato skin. Like the fucking. Alright, let's do top five apps.

SPEAKER_13

Oh, fuck.

SPEAKER_16

Number five. Are you gonna go? Oh, okay. Oh, number five. I'm gonna go corndog nuggets. Ooh, good old corn diggly dogglies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, I think my top five app. Just tell me number five. Uh top five. Then the top three. All the way up to a top one.

SPEAKER_14

All right. Tell me the fucking um fuck.

Appetizer Debate: Building The Top Five

SPEAKER_16

I don't remember what appetizers are. This motherfucker's retarded as fuck, man. You'd be having me say the R-word a lot on this fucking podcast, dude. Uh I'm gonna go with uh onion rings. A good onion ring. Not them burnt bullshits, you know what I'm talking about? When you get them and you just know that they've been in the fryer way too fucking long. So who had them who has the best onion rings around? Best onion rings around? Yeah. I used to like Burger King onion rings. I like the one with the zesty sauce. I like the one. See, probably unpopular opinion, but I prefer them when they're a little soggy instead of hard as fuck. That's how I like your mom. That's right. My dead mother, soggy as a bitch. Well, we didn't that's right, Brian. Talk about my talk about my dead mother. The rest of these. That's right. All right. Um, number four. Number. Number four. Oh, it's me first. I keep fucking forgetting that. God damn it. Uh oh. Bing bang shrimp. Ooh.

SPEAKER_15

Bangy bangy.

SPEAKER_16

I love a good dynamite shrimp. That's right. Yeah, yeah. Alright.

SPEAKER_15

Um, I think I'm gonna top that shrimp with a shrimp of my own.

SPEAKER_16

Buffalo. Buffalo shrimp. Okay. Okay. Um to be honest, man, fucking popular uh unpopular opinion. Right, right, right. Uh I believe a shrimp can fill someone up. Bro, I get so filled up on shrimp. Yeah. Bro. We should have shrimp. We should. Yeah. Um number three.

SPEAKER_12

Uh, I'm going with for number three. I'm gonna have to go for the table.

SPEAKER_16

Oh cheese curds with caramel. Okay. Lost me. Have you ever had it? Think about it. Caramel's really good because it's salty and sweet. You add that fucking cheese curd. I don't know, dog. Have you ever had it? No, I haven't. Then shut the fuck up. You never had dick before, but you know that's not good, right? So that so that means I might not like the cheese curds and the caramel. No. I made my point. You made yours. Just fucking say your number three. Um number three, I'm gonna go with crab dip. I love crab dip. That's right. Oh, I already know my number two. Number two. Pretzel with cheese.

SPEAKER_15

That's a good one.

SPEAKER_16

Good pretzel with cheese. What about what about a little bit of fresh ground mustard? No. Alright. Word. And beer cheese. Beer cheese, yes. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_16

Love it. And it could be pretzel sticks or pretzel bites. Either way, don't give a fuck. But don't give me that fucking, don't give me the knot. I don't want the whole knot. Right, right, right, right, right. I need a fucking dippable. I don't want to have to make it dippable myself. What number was this? Number two. Number two.

SPEAKER_15

I'm gonna go with a um blooming onion or the equivalent of uh rattlesnake bites.

SPEAKER_16

Nope. Take it back. Rewind. Fry picks. Okay. Yeah, fried pickles. OV Beach Tavern, in my opinion, has the best fried pickles in the world. That place has nothing good. They have earrings in the crab dip. Yeah, that's fucking it. I remember. Dude, we got a fucking crab dip at this fucking place. This bitch's earring was in it. You know what she said to us? I should play the lottery. Oh, remember what I said first? What'd you say? No, so the fucked up thing is I we thought I thought it was a garnishment. Yeah, I thought there was like like we were in a nice restaurant and then fucking garnish.

SPEAKER_15

Because it didn't look like an earring, bro, at first the way it landed.

SPEAKER_16

The way it was in there, dog, it looked like it was part of it. We like, we like I picked it up. I was like, did we win her? That bitch was like the other thing is we didn't get it for free. No, nothing. Right. They remade it. It was probably the same one. Yeah, probably. Hey, no, this needs to sit on the table while you remake it. Nah, dog. That shit was fucking insane. And ever since then, I said, fuck that place. Yeah, I've gone back. Yeah, of course he has. I haven't gotten an earring. Once a place does that once, like who who else knows what they're doing back there that's fucking wild as shit. Yeah, I just try not to think about it. Yeah, all right. Number one. I feel like I do a pretty good voice like that. Number one is mozzarella sticks of any sorts. Uh, who has the best mozzarella sticks? I would say, in my opinion, in my opinion, is uh fucking chilies. They have the monster ones. Bro, I've never tried them. I want to so bad. They're so good. They got different flavors too, right? Uh, I think they're different dips. I think I've seen like one that was like honey glazed or some shit. Maybe. Uh, me and my son got that shit, and it was basically a fucking meal. Like it was a lot of cheese. You're not shitting for days. Oh, yeah, for sure. Or shitting a lot for days. Yeah, it depends on which way you go with the lactose. Yeah. Yeah. What's your number one? Is it gonna be the rattlesnake bites? No. So you brought up the fucking onion to not even have it in your fucking water. One appetizer. Pussy. That's a meal. Right. Um, my number one appetizer, jalapeno poppers. Yeah, but you can't find any really good ones anywhere. I have. Where? Um Vrant had a ring around it. No. Arby's and Sonic have really good ones. But when you get when you get the ones from Arby's, they give you that bronco berry sauce. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But now, here's the thing. There's two separate ways you can go with jalapeno popper, right? Cream cheese. You can go cream cheese or you can go nacho cheese. Cream cheese. Cream cheese is the top tier premier legendary way to go. If you do fucking nacho cheese, I'll still eat it. I won't. I will. Dude, I've like got like my girl would be like, hey, I got you some jalapeno poppers, and I'll like bite in some of this nacho cheese, and I'll spit it out and I'll go, these aren't jalapeno poppers. You know. I'm just kidding, I'm not that mean, sore.

SPEAKER_12

I eat it and be quiet. I'm like, thank you so much for these.

SPEAKER_16

Right. Yeah. That was fun. Yeah, no, that was that was good. Um, I'm glad I was actually able to think of places. Uh oh, uh revisit back to episode four, real quick. Uh, I want to cut off my number one wing spot because I just followed suit with you because I was fucking hammered. No, you didn't. You said roosters. Right, but then we got a little argument and then it ended at Roosters. Right. Uh, I'm gonna go zero subs. No. Yes. No, yeah, they're not good. It's a fucking sub place. Yeah, no, no. Zero subs, keep it up. You guys are doing great with your wings. I love it. No, yeah, yeah, dog. All right, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna get wings from Eagle's Nest, Zeros, um, fucking. I can't think of other places right now. Uh Lindy's. No, we're not getting Lindy's. Uh fucking um Big Woodies. Dirty Buffalo, Big Woodies, and um uh Wild Wing Cafe. Okay. We're gonna get we'll get like fucking five wings from each of them, and we're gonna do a blind test, and we're gonna rank them. And those will be the rankings. Now here's the th here's my question. Are we gonna keep them all the same flavor? Yeah. All mild.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_16

I mean, honestly, if we were to switch up the flavors and we had like Hannah go and buy them all. No, because if you did switching up the flavors, then you might like one flavor better than you like the other flavor. Right. If they're all the same, you're gonna have flavor, chicken, fry, meat, all of that shit all in one. How about this? How about we just get naked wings and then we just toss them in our own mild sauce? That way it's a consistent mild sauce. No, no, no. You want them different because you're going off of how they how they sauce them. Okay, yeah. How wet they are, how dry they are. Love a good wet wing. How it's fucking fried. We're not gonna buy if we're gonna do that, just go buy wings from Foodline, fry them ourselves, and fucking sauce them in sauce and see if they're the our favorite ones. What wing place is this? Your kitchen dog? Right. Right. Right. Let's see what else I got up here, dog.

unknown

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_16

Hey Freddy Kruger.

SPEAKER_12

Oh my god.

Jalapeño Poppers Vs Mozz Sticks

SPEAKER_16

Yeah, dog. That was fucking hilarious. Yeah, dog. That's the type of shit that I see all the time. Type shit. Type shit. Real type shit. You're not gonna get me this time. Real. I can't believe you said that. Bro, I know. No, I'm just kidding. I'm out here just, you know, not giving a fuck. This is unfiltered, but that was filtered.

SPEAKER_11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_16

Um, I didn't go to the bathroom. All right, we can uh take a little break here and um see you on the other side.

SPEAKER_15

See you on the other side.

SPEAKER_16

That's right. All pissed up and ready to go.

SPEAKER_15

Um, hell yeah.

SPEAKER_16

Hey uh. Alright, Drake.

SPEAKER_15

No. They not like us.

SPEAKER_16

Um, bro, I'm feeling a shot. Okay. No. So I've made a new shot. You didn't make a new shot. I didn't. So one of my favorite shots to take is a pickleback. And one night while I was here drinking some picklebacks. Didn't happen. No, this this happened. That happened. Like a week ago. Okay. About a week ago. Week ago, week ago. Do the hat thing. Smarter dance. Yeah, I'm not throwing my hat right now. No.

SPEAKER_15

Um, but uh, I was running a little on some pig juice, and I was like, you know what? I love me a good pepuccini, baby. Right.

SPEAKER_16

So um, I made a pepuccini back. And uh he thinks that he I created this. It's my invention. That's not. It's it's fucking good, dog. Well, I know that my ex uh Eric. I I already knew who it was. I don't know why we did that. Yeah. Um she can she listens to the podcast and she can vouch that I did this with her dad a whole bunch. I don't believe it. I don't believe I was there for this. No, I showed it to you at the clubhouse. I don't believe I was there for this. Along with everybody else. I don't believe I was there for this. Okay, that's fine. Just fucking make the shot. Alright, fine. Fuck. He has a shot already made in the in the drawer. No, I don't have it already made in the drawer, but I do have. Why is there so why are you making so many? Pickle or peppercini juice? Oh, I just mix my shit together.

SPEAKER_13

Oh, fuck that.

SPEAKER_16

He's gonna have dry pepperinis. Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_12

Oh, let me tell you about this shit. Bro, before the fucking podcast started, this motherfucker, hey, dip, pop me one inside my cup.

Wing Rankings And Blind Taste Test Plan

SPEAKER_16

Got you. Uh, this motherfucker opened something that we're both gonna try and then fucking chugged it out of the fucking bottle and fucking chugged out the fucking bottle and fucking he's putting his fucking hands in something he's gonna fucking pour into something else. It's fucking insane. He's just touching everything that he gave him. He just took a fucking piss. Didn't wash his hands. I did wash my fucking hands. There's soap in the bathroom. Finally? Yes. I'm gonna go check. And if I go in there and there's no soap. There's fucking soap, there's no soap. I can tell by the way he laughs. Soft soap. I'll go grab the shit right now. It's got a fucking goldfish or something on it. This fucking guy. Got it from the Dollar Tree. I ain't hear no fucking water going off. Oh my smells like Dollar Tree soap. What if it smelled like pussy? I'd be eating my ham. I'd be eating God damn it. The way that this guy does fucking anything fucking pisses me off so fast. And I don't know why. Never been so angry at a person in my life. You're on camera. You're on camera doing all this wild ass fat shit. Bro, it's drippin'. That's some of the fattest shit I've seen is you fucking lick a fucking bottle. It was dripping, dog. That's a brand new bottle? Yep. You're about to finish all that tonight. Yep. I thought you said you stopped drinking or something. Alright, that's a good. That's way too much. This is mine. Okay. Do not pour me that much. Not at all. I want a little, I just want a little, I just want to taste it. Yep. Oh, that's way too much. That's fine. That's fine. I'll drink at my discretion. I'm not a big liquor drinker. I'll liquor, but I ain't gonna drink her. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, I'm gonna taste it. Oh man. That's right. Stand up. Stand up, get up.

SPEAKER_16

Stand up for your rights. Right. I think this is wild that it's gonna be a podcast that actually comes out in three days. I'm not looking forward to editing all of these fucking clips already. Yeah. Is that why you're not showing any videos? You're like, bro, please stop. Right. Just talk about shit with me. I do love how fucking peppuccinis smell. So good. Bro, the peppuccini. And then here's the thing. It's gotta be a good brand peppuccini. Right? No, no, because I'll fuck with the food line brand. Well, Harris Teeter's fucking sucks. Harris Teeter, I don't know what the fuck you're doing, but it's not good.

SPEAKER_15

But this uh Mazetta brand.

SPEAKER_11

I mean my nipples are so fucking good.

SPEAKER_16

Bro, I'll buy a jar of these to have for like salads and shit throughout the week. I'll eat the whole jar while making the salad. Yeah, I love a good pepuccini with ranch. People don't know about that. What the fuck? What? You don't like that? I've never heard of that. Bro, when you put it on a fucking salad, yeah. Well, I don't think ranch up there. I don't typically use ranch. What do you eat? Um something gay.

SPEAKER_15

Uh so no, sometimes I'll uh instead of using a dressing, I'll actually just squeeze a lemon. That'll be my dressing. It's not bad. You should try it sometime.

SPEAKER_16

It's really fucking good. No, thank you. All right. Um well, whenever we're ready, uh and by we're I mean you. I haven't had a peppercini in a fucking while, baby. Not eat another. I got two right here. Sure is not me eating a peppercina. That jink gave me so many fucking chills that it went down to my fucking kneecap, son. Yeah, sometimes that's what the body orders a little vegetable. Is it a vegetable?

SPEAKER_14

It's a pepper.

SPEAKER_16

Right, but I can ask Colo I don't know who that is. I don't want to say 'cause that bitch will pop up me. Oh yeah. So good. I love that so much. I want to die. You know it'll probably make you feel better. Some pussy. Actually, the opposite. Well, I'm not doing dick. A little bit of shrimp. Yes, please, uh please explain the shrimp. Uh, you were just talking about wanting shrimp. So I did. How did you get it so fast? Uh, you know, by the grace of God, uh, I was able to make some miracles happen. Um, so we've got some uh some butterfly shrimp. How are we gonna eat this? I just get up and grab it, or yeah, we just get up and grab it, or if you just want one plate, we'll just slide the plates back and forth. Um it's toss me one of them janks. Oh, hibachi's high? Yeah. Damn, dog. Dog, that was a good throw. Yeah, well, I disappeared in the light. That was a good throw. Yeah. I hate that uh I've got a shrimp on my floor now, but uh the first time you had a little shrimp on your floor.

SPEAKER_15

No, it's not. I get seafood every now and then. Oh, it's gonna work out perfect. I can put my tails right in here.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

Pepperoncini Shots And Kitchen Chaos

SPEAKER_16

Oh man, dog. I wanna um I wanna plan a fucking trip to Raleigh. That was a 10. 9. 9. Yeah, I'll give it a nine. I hate when you burp and it tastes like what you ate yesterday. It's never like, oh man, I just ate a peppuccini. And that's just like, bro, you had a cheesesteak yesterday. I think the only thing I've always said this. When you throw up, it sucks. Oh yeah. But have you ever thrown up and it like wasn't horrible coming back up? Shrimp egg roll. The only thing that I've ever thrown up where I'm like, hmm. I don't know why. Most of the time when I throw up, it's just alcohol. Yeah, so it always sucks. Yeah, alcohol and bile. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's the worst. I threw up the other day, actually. Which day? I don't fucking remember. What is it, Monday? Had to be. You were drunk as shit on Sunday, dog. Yeah. Oh man. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, I definitely was drunk as fuck on Sunday. Yeah. Yeah. I remember. Hey, put some peppuccini inside of that drink of yours. I don't, bro. What kind is it? This is a rose. Try it. I want to. You over here drinking rose like a bitch. Bro, it's just a truly pack. There's a few of them. It's a celebration pack. I was like, oh shit, I want to celebrate doing a podcast with my best fucking friend. So you know what? Excuse the fuck out of me. We're trying to celebrate our friendship. I'm just gonna post a whole bunch of pictures. I was gonna be like, happy podcast day. Yeah. Yeah. Bro, I got stuck in so much traffic today and I hated it. Bro, you're like, hey, let's start the pod. Uh, I don't want it to be like eight o'clock or whatever. Yeah. It's eight, it's eight thirty. Yeah.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_16

I was hoping we were done. Not like to get it done with or anything, but like I was kind of hoping we were done and we could watch some of it while we clean up like we normally do. Like, we got a good little routine going on, but uh I'm just leaving this like this. Oh yeah. Uh sadly, should I tell them? Is that okay? Um keep it a secret. I don't even know what you're about to say. Uh about the next podcast. I don't care. Okay. Sadly, I will uh not be on the next pod. I have some quitting. No, no, no, quitting. I'm not quitting. I uh got some business to tend to. So the next podcast will be with my lovely fiance, Hannah. And me. And Winston will be there too. Yeah. There's gonna be somebody way hotter than me sitting right here.

SPEAKER_15

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Bro, it's just gonna be Hannah fucking shitting on you.

SPEAKER_16

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_12

I was gonna say That's gonna happen, though.

SPEAKER_16

She's like, You wanna see my bowhole? Go get a plate. I'm like, Hannah, no, it's not. You don't actually do it. She's like, I'll shit on a plate and she comes out of your bathroom with fucking shit on a plate, and you're like, Well, this didn't have to happen. Right. Yeah. I was gonna say it's just gonna be her trying to get my cat the whole time. I have another video. God damn it. Uh watch this trailer park shit. Oh, here we go again with this shit. Oh my god, bro. Something has to give at some point.

SPEAKER_03

What up, guys? We're here to do the hot dog challenge. It's not an actual challenge. We're about to do it and rate it one through ten. Let's see what let's see how it goes. And uh why is she there?

SPEAKER_15

Yeah. I feel like she doesn't need to be there. Why are they doing this on their bed?

SPEAKER_03

That's right. Hey, even with the hat toys, you feel me?

SPEAKER_15

No.

SPEAKER_03

Let's see. Hey brothers. I know you would love this.

SPEAKER_02

Where's the cheese? The cheese, sour cream, and then your hot pepper pepper. Yeah. Oh my god. Oh my Jesus. That looks good, right, guys?

SPEAKER_16

Does it look good? I mean Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Hot peppers, guys. Pepper, baby. Or banana pepper or banana pepper. Why?

SPEAKER_02

I want one in. But looks good to me, and I have to try it.

SPEAKER_16

Hey bro, this is like some Swansboro, North Carolina shit. Is it? Yeah. I think I actually know this guy.

SPEAKER_03

Final touch, guys. Oh yeah. Oh, here's some time.

SPEAKER_16

It's still sloppy with it.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_16

Oh.

SPEAKER_02

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_16

Why is her eyes white like that? Bro, fuck them up. That motherfucker made hot dog not too, baby. Now watch this. Why? What the fuck?

SPEAKER_02

Oh god, look like.

SPEAKER_16

Well, when the fuck are they gonna try it? What look he got it on the bed? That's all you're gonna look at for the rest of the thing. Okay. Well, it's probably not the first time Star Crew's been on that bed. Right.

SPEAKER_03

With that being said, you know.

SPEAKER_16

With the blessed in the background.

SPEAKER_03

They're gonna come show you when it looks like.

SPEAKER_16

Look, he sees it too. He's like, and then knocks it off.

SPEAKER_02

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_16

Mmm, guy. Do it look good? I mean, yeah, kind of. Alright.

SPEAKER_02

You wanna buy?

SPEAKER_16

He got mad.

SPEAKER_02

She got the camera like that. Oh boy.

SPEAKER_16

I did the hat flip. This is my video. I want to see y'all eat the hot dog. W.

SPEAKER_04

Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_15

Say W.

SPEAKER_04

There we go.

SPEAKER_14

He ain't got no teeth.

SPEAKER_16

She ain't got two front teeth.

SPEAKER_14

Rate it.

SPEAKER_16

Oh my God. No, they just mething around. Well, that's a great frame to stop on. She's a hostage. I love the little bit of guys we're here.

SPEAKER_03

Guys, we're here.

SPEAKER_16

Oh shit. That was a good one. Uh let me see if I got a couple clips for us. Okay, guys. I got a couple more. Yeah. I can play them now. Get it out of the way. Because I know you're about to pull up a whole fucking Instagram reel. Um fucking east shrimp. I'm getting kind of full. Bro.

SPEAKER_13

I'm telling you.

Shrimp Interlude And Comfort Food

SPEAKER_16

You can get full off of this shrimp right here. Not one, right? Oh. You'll be full. Sometimes it's not about the shrimp, it's about the motion in the ocean. Well, that would be the current. And that's how the fishermen get the shrimp, is they gotta it's about the current the current situation. Exactly. Um and the current dictates where the shrimp goes. Thank you. I'll be honest, those ones in the middle are really hard to peel, and I don't want to do that on the podcast. But after, I'm gonna murder it. Oh yeah. Same. They look good. Yeah? Remember that one time that Weepy ate uh. Bro, we were at a dive bar that had like 25 cents steam shrimp. Yeah. And we were there for a cornhole night. And Weepy, back when he was a half-ass sponsor, showed up to support us because we were actually really good at cornhole and like we were rising stars. I don't know about stars, but we were we were rising. Yeah. I saw the uh I saw a post the other day where we came in second. The Fourth of July? No, no, no. The one in Fredericksburg. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We came in second. And remember you came in fifth, and I came in ninth. Right. Remember how fucking mad they were that they were like, they shouldn't even be in this league or in this tier. Right. I was like, bitch, we'd lose all the time. Let us get a W. Right. Um, but we were we were there, and uh I look over at Weepy, and now Weepy is from the same exact town as I am in North Carolina. Like we're we're the same age, and somehow we grew up in the same town, never never met each other or anything up until we got here to Virginia, and uh the town that we grew up in is coastal, so seafood is shrimp is a big thing down there, right?

SPEAKER_15

And uh shrimp is a big thing no matter what. But I by the age of three, I knew how to peel and eat a shrimp. Right, right?

SPEAKER_16

Right at this cornhole thing, Weepy orders about a pound. Yeah, about that much right there in the center. Yeah. And I look over at him, and he's just eating the bitches whole. Right. And he looks really confused. And he looks like he's not having a good time. Yeah, I remember you were like, hey man, you know you're supposed to peel it?

SPEAKER_12

And he was like, nah, man, when you eat the shell, you get the flavor.

SPEAKER_16

No, and that's when we should have known he shouldn't have been our sponsor. Yeah. You got videos? Um I think I might have one. One video. One video. Actually, and yeah.

SPEAKER_15

Um here. I don't want to unsave this one from here.

SPEAKER_16

Something that should have been done before we started. Whatever. Um, all right, here we go. We're just gonna say fuck it, send it. All right. Isn't that what uh Sammy Joe said last week?

SPEAKER_09

Morning. I'll be your alarm clock this morning.

SPEAKER_08

Nothing like a good dose of T-Rex roar to wake your ass up, huh? You're welcome.

SPEAKER_16

Who's he looking at? Everybody. I don't I don't know. That sounded more like a tugboat horn. Bro, watch, but but it's not just about the noise. Look at his body movements, look at the neck. Watch. He ain't got no fucking neck. Look at the shit.

SPEAKER_09

Good morning. I'll be your alarm clock this morning.

SPEAKER_08

T-Rex Lord to wake your ass up.

SPEAKER_16

Bro, he had the whole fucking head bob and everything. Oh, man. That right there is a Tyrannosaurus Rex, if I've ever seen one. Yeah. And I've never seen one. Right. Right. You say you're gonna leave this set up? Oh, you're gonna be fucking editing.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_16

Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, oh, here's a guy. I want you to meet.

SPEAKER_10

Oh called the tag. You know what this is called. You know what, you know what this is called? This is called the tag.

SPEAKER_14

Okay.

SPEAKER_10

I've been tagged by the United States Marine Corps. I've been tagged by the Houston.

SPEAKER_16

The Houston.

SPEAKER_10

This right here. That sounds like you fucked. You don't even know what that means. You see the star? See that? You're a fucking idiot. Right. That's what I keep hearing. You're a fucking moron. That's called an artist.

SPEAKER_14

What the fuck is happening in this fucking video?

SPEAKER_10

That's only this. This is actually a king of the sea. Aquaman. Carries watch his locket. But it's also for a university of where? You know what you know what this is called?

SPEAKER_16

Why the fuck are you showing me riddles? Bro, he's been tagged by the motherfucking Houston. He's been tagged by the Marines. He's been he couldn't even hold that one upright. Bro. If you go to what the fuck is happening on these guys' videos. Is he bald or not bald? Oh, he's he's bald. What the fuck?

unknown

Alright.

SPEAKER_16

Dude is literally psychotic. Um what's he doing right there with Kim Kardashian? Is this gonna play? Is this the whole video? Not a video, bro.

SPEAKER_10

So I'm I did it. So I'm going for uh the Use the Police Department recruitment. Tryouts this morning. I pause for a minute so you pay attention to what I'm doing at Instagram. If I'm impersonating an officer, impersonating military personnel, please, please hold me there and don't let me go. Please put me in prison for how do you say doing something illegal? Thank you.

SPEAKER_16

What the fuck, Winston? How did you want to find us Roger Scrolling? People you may know, he's from your hometown as well. Jesus Christ. Have you ever heard of uh War Rack? No. The uh their um love it, that's how up, guys.

Viral Video Rabbit Hole

SPEAKER_05

We're here War Rack shit, baby, and we in your hood, yeah. Let's do this shit, yeah. Yo, yo, y'all wanna hit my boy? Like we ain't gonna get our lick back. Big 40 army, and that shit gotta kick back. I'm a big body, y'all are big bats, smart and bops out of touch. We used to roll him up and zigzags. Yeah, yeah. We in your hood, on your block, like a sailing fan. We misunderstood, but we spin with a block. From my dog chief, we are a different type of clock. Ain't no feel litigator, we need deep with the crocs. Cause when I shut it with the black out of cast in my lap, a black cat with gas just to prove that.

SPEAKER_16

What the fuck? That's a come up, dog. That's a how they started to where they got to? Yeah, I mean, hard work pays off. Oh man. Work pays off. Yeah. Because you're dealing with a retard. Jesus. Um I only need a few more of these, and I'll probably be full. Bro, in fact, toss me one of them just to my hand.

SPEAKER_13

That's not good.

SPEAKER_15

Gonna knock over all the fucking sauce.

SPEAKER_13

Oh, God, stop that.

SPEAKER_16

I hate that I just palmed a fucking tear. I do too. Oh. Oh my god. Bro, when I walked in here, I thought your house smelled like pussy. I thought it was just the remnants of, you know, past activities. It was everywhere. Everywhere. It was here, it was there, it was over yonder, it was back in. Smell like pussy and pot. Bro. Pots and plants. Pots and pans. Pots and pans. Oh. I was doing some cooking.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_16

Yeah. I got a fucking piss, dog. That's wild. I didn't even drink that much. Alright.

SPEAKER_12

I got a piss and whatever you have. Alright. Um. Here's me punching a uh punching bag.

SPEAKER_16

My cat's taking a shit.

SPEAKER_14

Okay.

SPEAKER_12

Press the fucking button.

unknown

It's nine hundred call. That was good.

SPEAKER_16

Yeah, we're back. That's right, Brian. All pissed up.

SPEAKER_15

That's right, Brian. That's right, Brian. All pissed up and ready to go here on a wonderful Friday evening. How are we doing tonight?

SPEAKER_12

Oh. You know that I'm okay.

SPEAKER_16

Yeah, things are okay. Things are alright.

SPEAKER_15

Um Yeah, so uh have you you you like going out and having a nice meal? Like, do you ever like go out? You you normally go out to like a normal restaurant, right? Maybe a chain restaurant, but do you ever like go out and want to get like a high-end, you know, Michelin star meal at a fancy restaurant?

SPEAKER_16

I would love to. Thank you. Do you ever do it? Are you paying? No, no. That's not the right word going. Okay. Um, but do you ever do it like for anniversaries or things like that? Go out to a nice, nice restaurant. Well, we don't have any Michelin stars near us, but yes, I've been to a couple of nice ass restaurants for anniversaries and Anniversaries. Anniversaries and anniversaries. I love the restaurant.

SPEAKER_14

That's right, Webster.

SPEAKER_15

That's right, Brian. Uh I in fact have four Michelins on my Mitsubishi. Oh, that's funny. Um, that's the only Michelin's that I know that is closest to me, but I would love to go to a really high-end restaurant where you're paying a fuck ton of money for edible artwork, which is more of like tiny portions that aren't gonna fill you up versus like the shrimp.

SPEAKER_16

Right, the shrimp, right. The shrimp. That's that's gonna fill you the fuck up. I think this is the first episode where I haven't gone. I'm hungry. It's because you had some shrimp. It is, it is. It's because you had some shrimp, dog.

SPEAKER_11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_16

Um, but what I would love to do is one day go to one of these fine dining establishments. I'm sure they'll welcome you with open arms. Oh, yeah, they're gonna be like, this dude, our tiny portions. Right. He's gonna get four of those plates for$400 a piece. Exactly. Jokes on you, you're a dining dasher. My uh, my ex, that was like her clam to fame? You said her clam to fame? Claim to fame? Oh, claim to fame. I was about to say, yeah, her clam, I mean, I don't know if that was the fame, but uh yeah, definitely her claim to fame was doing that. Bro, you wouldn't even know that she uh dined and dashed. That shit was hilarious. You'd be like, what? Huh? What happened? And I was like, I don't know what the right you said you was paid.

SPEAKER_15

Um, but I would love to get a a a fancy a fancy chef.

SPEAKER_16

Right.

SPEAKER_15

Speaking of uh fancy chef, uh here on uh some of our very favorite podcasts that we listened to, there was a man named Fancy Chef who went on there and made some delectable looking strawberries. Right, along with uh other other things.

SPEAKER_16

Right. Did all you all you just said was other? Right. I wanted you to finish it. Okay, yeah. Uh what was the one that he made where he just uh it was more of an olival dish? It's been a while, but I'm pretty sure that was a Caprese salad. The uh something cheese, tomatoes. Yeah, he poured like a half a bottle of wine. He used wine on something too, and it was like a whole bottle of wine. Yeah. And not even like a cooking wine. I used like a fucking rose or something.

SPEAKER_15

Uh but again, he he's a very skilled and talented chef, and it would be fantastic to one day have the privilege and the honor to have him present us with a fancy five-star meal. Right. Um and just so everybody at home knows what we're dealing with here, uh, this right here is fancy chef.

SPEAKER_13

Mansions, yachts, boats, cruise shit, estate. That's exactly how I want to be. Chicken breast, beautiful, nice. All right? By the fancy chef, book it and book it now. Don't you wait, don't you hesitate. Look at my pretty face. Don't forget what I said. Book the fancy chef. I wanna be cut.

SPEAKER_16

Some big ass fucking grapes. Look how fancy that is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_14

I was given a hundred.

SPEAKER_08

Now we're gonna make it open up like a flower with the haw white chocolate.

SPEAKER_13

Beautiful, beautiful and nice. This is the fancy light.

SPEAKER_15

I want to see him cooking. Here we go.

SPEAKER_13

Thank you to every one of you. That's a need of a seen that hat before. And you reached out to me for my services, and I want to say thank you because you didn't have to do it, but you did. And I want to say thank you.

SPEAKER_15

I need to see where is he cooking at? Okay, this might be something.

SPEAKER_13

Okay. You always want to scream a hot pan. That means you want your pan on this stove before you add anything to it. You want to scream a hot pan.

SPEAKER_15

Pretty sure that's olive oil, and you don't want to add us some olive oil.

SPEAKER_13

I'm gonna sear off some chicken.

unknown

Okay?

SPEAKER_13

I'm gonna sear off some chicken. I'm doing the chicken shrimp on Freedom.

unknown

Okay?

Fine Dining Dreams And “Fancy Chef” Lore

SPEAKER_13

He's wearing the fucking chef's shirt in the house. When it goes in there, could be the restaurant hot immediately. Scream a hot pan, all right? Pay attention.

SPEAKER_15

Look, I've never seen a real fancy chef.

SPEAKER_13

You hear that?

SPEAKER_15

Have so much sauce on their pan must be hot.

SPEAKER_13

Do not cook in a cold pan. You are not cooking, do not cook in a cold pan. Do not, I repeat, do not cook in a cold pan.

SPEAKER_14

Do not cook in a cold pan.

SPEAKER_13

Your pan to be cold when you cook. The food will not come out right at the end.

SPEAKER_15

I think that's enough chicken for that pan.

SPEAKER_13

In this kitchen, you want your pan to be hot. You hear it? Yes, I hear it. That's how you do it. Beautifully, but remarkable renowned master. Call him the chef thing.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_13

It's a conference.

SPEAKER_16

Camera off. That's funny. That is funny, dude. Um, we got the Pope's hat on.

SPEAKER_15

So, yeah, it looks like fan. Oh, here's another cooking video. Let's let's look at a couple of these.

SPEAKER_13

Okay, guys, happy Thanksgiving. I'm making the sauce for the candy amp. I'm making the sauce for the candy amp. Beautiful nice. Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Uh linking the sauce for the candy amp. Follow me on YouTube.

SPEAKER_14

That's just book now, rich people.

SPEAKER_13

Next to it that says official. Don't tap anything else. Next to my name list that says official. That's me. Thanks, guys.

SPEAKER_15

Okay, guys, happy. That's a good one.

SPEAKER_13

I got them on my YouTube. Yeah, we'll get on your YouTube. Y'all subscribe to it already?

unknown

Yeah, I'm not doing it right now.

SPEAKER_13

Alright, so you're gonna go to fancy. What's that, Megan Trainer? I don't know. I'm making the pace for this chicken. So uh uh happy holidays.

SPEAKER_15

A lot of these um videos he has up there, pretty much every single one of them, right, has a phone number and it says uh five thousand dollars to book me.

SPEAKER_16

Right. You got five thousand? I do. I think we should uh I think we should try and book him. Try to.

SPEAKER_15

Um so what I'm gonna do is I gotta switch up a little blue to see.

SPEAKER_16

Do your thing, man. But yeah, uh Engineer Winston. Winston here. Winstonia. Winstonia.

SPEAKER_11

Good old Winstonia coming to theaters August 2026. Narnia. Winstonia. Disconnected. Switched at birth. What the fuck? Little cookie meets big cookie. October. New thrilling adventure.

SPEAKER_15

All right, cops. Uh next. Says we're connected.

SPEAKER_16

So all right, so uh we're gonna give uh fancy chef a call. Do it then.

SPEAKER_13

I'm not talking about fancy chef.

SPEAKER_16

What happened? Bro, what the Fuck was that? What happened, dawg? That was insane. Did he call you a child carry a lot to say? Oh. He was saying all that stuff so you couldn't put him on the podcast. Because YouTube will flag it. We've got to bleep out that whole segment now. Yeah. Damn, that sucks. Try it again. He can tell. Can he tell? It's it almost sounded like a recording. Yeah, try it again. Try it on your phone. No.

SPEAKER_14

I don't want to try to get on my phone. Try it again.

SPEAKER_16

I don't want to try to get on my phone. Try it again, bro. I don't want to. Don't be a pussy. I don't want to try to get on my phone. It doesn't matter. Why does it he already has it once? Yeah, but that was fucking weird. Let's see if it sounds the fucking same. Because if it does, it's a recording. Also, I'm pretty sure we have to tell him if he answers you have to tell him that he's on the podcast. Does he know? That's fucking hilarious. That's insane. Bro, he's the one posting his fucking numbers. Right.

SPEAKER_11

Oh.

SPEAKER_16

Did you say beanies and weenies at one point? He said eat your boogers. I heard that. Yeah. Oh. Are you still gonna keep it in there? You can. I don't give a fuck. I gotta bleep out some shit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, you can't be having them saying, uh.

SPEAKER_16

Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

Well.

SPEAKER_16

Good episode. Good episode. Um, uh, yeah, I think this is uh that really just kind of fucking. What's your what's your what's your quote for this uh podcast?

SPEAKER_15

You know.

SPEAKER_16

Um shrimp a day will keep the cops away.

SPEAKER_14

Like it.

SPEAKER_16

Good night, everybody. Later.

Calling The Fancy Chef Goes Sideways

SPEAKER_07

Will we be rambling? Sharing our minds, talking about nothing, and all we can find. Winston and Brian, they're keeping it real. Just two good old boys with plenty to spill. Just pull up a chair, see you next time. Same old voices, a friend too high. It's just all unfiltered and free. No scripts, no moves, just all the sleep. Unbegle Stories I'm told you now, but we'll be back Just talking unfiltered, get down the road They've got the language, they've got the charm A little bit of mischief, but no one gets harm From the kitchen table to the open air They'll shoot the free, Cause they just don't care. It's to the fun, say goodbye, it's just too much. It's just all unfiltered and free. No, it's just all stink on it's on top. We're leaving it now, but we'll be back It's just talking unfiltered, catch it down the road They've got the lantern, they've got the charm A little bit of mischief, but no one gets harm From the kitchen table to the open there's to the free Cause they just don't care So they're to the laugh here to the fun They say goodbye is just to a dungeon Just talk Unfiltered and free It's just a go re told We're leaving you now but we'll be back Oh It's just talking unfiltered down the road