New Year, No Filter

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Transcript

Cold Open, Theme Rap, New Year Vibes

SPEAKER_07 0:10

Yo, it's Winston and Brian, the unfiltered crew. Fat bearded legends with opinions for you. Exercise laughs, no filter, no cap, pour drink, take a seat, we just talk and rap. Winston in the corner with the whiskey in his fist, Ryan yellin' loud. Every topic gets pissed. Beard so thick, they can smuggle a brisket. Voices boomin' harder than a 12-bit stuff kick. Grab your lone star. We ain't polite. Welcome to the show, it's a bar fight tonight. Just talking dumb, built the no rules, no shame. Two fat boys taking over the game. Texas eat, Texas beats, grab a mic and ignite. It's whiz, didn't find, keep it raw, keep it tight. Just talking dunk, built the no rules, no change. Two fat boys taking over the game. Texas eat, Texas beats, grab a mic and ignite. It's whiskey and fine, keep it raw, keep it tight. Ryan got the volume of a megaphone riot. Winston got the boots, but his liver stayed quiet. Topics jump wild like a bull in the shoot. From brisket to politics, no subjects move. Barbecued stains on a microphone grip. Spit fire hotter than a jalapeno dip. Put test kings, yeah. We talk that smack.

SPEAKER_12 1:17

Happy New Year!

SPEAKER_13 1:23

Happy New Year, happy new year, happy new year.

SPEAKER_12 1:35

What the fuck is that?

SPEAKER_09 1:37

What is that? Why is somebody speaking in tongues?

SPEAKER_13 1:54

Is that part of the song? Yeah. Don't ever play that again. Oh, that was great. Why did it speak in tongues?

What Is This Show Anyway

SPEAKER_14 2:00

I don't know, but the snoobinabalieba do the fucked up thing is like I felt like I should know what it was saying. Right. I did not. Bro, think about it. That's the way all of AI has really been. Like, you know, like when AI two years ago, like Will Smith eating the spaghetti, you knew he was eating spaghetti, but it it fucked your brain up. I don't remember that.

SPEAKER_06 2:20

Really?

SPEAKER_14 2:20

That's like a big thing. Or like any AI image, it wouldn't have like a brand name logo. Like it this Modello can. Right, right. It wouldn't have Modello. It would have something so close, but your brain was like, that's Modello can. Yeah, that's it. Maybe just an M and an O. Yeah. I know what that is.

SPEAKER_13 2:35

Right. I've seen it before. And he'd be trying to read it and you'd ship enough. Yeah. But fucking college fucking aliens down here.

SPEAKER_14 2:45

Bro, that's just showing the rapid growth of AI and how quick it's going to take over. Did you want to talk about what our podcast is about for that one person on YouTube? Um fucked up, dude. I think he was giving us some uh good advice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um watch episode one.

SPEAKER_13 3:03

You'll know what it's about. It's really about nothing. Yeah. It's nothing and everything at the same time.

SPEAKER_14 3:08

We're we're inviting you guys to uh our dumb conversations. Yeah, just to be fair. Where we just talk in unfiltered.

Sports Rage And Breaking Stuff

SPEAKER_13 3:17

When sometimes it's filtered. What? Well you mostly when we say people's names. Yeah. Right. Sorry, I'm getting a little handsy over here with the buttons. Yeah, a little finger in the buttons over there. Finger in the roadcast. Uh should we start with a video? Or do you have uh Happy New Year? Happy New Year, bro. It's almost 2026. Well, it won't be even worse. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_14 3:46

But I mean, yeah, 2026.

SPEAKER_13 3:47

It's our happy new year episode. That's right.

SPEAKER_14 3:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 3:50

We're not gonna count down with you. Are we gonna kiss? No. Okay, cool. This is the shit I deal with. He's always trying to kiss me. What do you mean you're not bro, no? I show up, you motherfuckers in a robe.

SPEAKER_14 4:01

You told me 20 minutes ago at the 7-Eleven that I smelled delicious.

SPEAKER_13 4:05

Yeah, so we went to 7-Eleven, and this lady says she walks in as soon as she gets into 7-Eleven, she's looking at the body. Oh my god, it's looking at Winston from good in here. Smells so good in here, yummy. And I said, it's probably him. I was trying to hook him up.

SPEAKER_14 4:20

First of all, she was like Pussy's pussy. First of all, she had to been a blowjob in my 60s. So you never fucked a 60-year-old before?

SPEAKER_13 4:33

I mean, yeah. They're probably 60 years old. Yeah, right. Yeah, that's your fucking MO. They're probably 60 now. You love older looking women.

SPEAKER_14 4:40

I remember this one time. I fucked my friend's mom.

SPEAKER_13 4:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 4:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 4:47

And I fucked my friend's mom too.

SPEAKER_14 4:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 4:49

I just try not to talk about it. He's insane.

SPEAKER_15 4:52

Insane in the membrane.

SPEAKER_13 4:54

Right. All right, here we go. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_03 5:10

Ever been that bad?

SPEAKER_13 5:53

Somebody don't want to want to sit at your house. Oh, yeah, dude. You're not a bad. I'm calling a cut. You know I'm good for it. Right. Not a 49ers fans. Right, I've noticed that. Oh, they're stopping it together. I ain't never seen nobody throw a chair like that. He did that shit nonchalant. And he gets in the car. He's like, I'm out. You about to run it over?

SPEAKER_14 6:36

Bro. Bro, I I love a good sports game. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 6:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 6:42

But um I gotta get off these. Oh, okay. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_13 6:47

They gotta come off.

SPEAKER_14 6:48

Um yeah, I I love a good sports, but um, you know, I can't see myself getting that mad over a game. No. Unless I was playing. Yeah, that's one thing. Yeah, if I was on the field, yeah, yeah, I'd I've been that mad before. I mean, I have been mad so mad before where I have broken things. Right. But it was mainly hearts.

SPEAKER_13 7:16

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Your own heart. Nope. Nope. I used to uh love punching a good wall. And then they were like, why would you do that? Hey. I thought it was gonna be your fucking face. You lucky.

SPEAKER_14 7:32

I did that at your house one time. What? Punched a hole in your wall. Did you? At the apartments. And then I had to come repair it because I was the repairman for the complex. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_06 7:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 7:45

That was around this time.

SPEAKER_13 7:47

Yeah. Seven very long time ago. Nine years ago, ten. Yeah. Long time ago. Dude. Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 7:53

Like that shit was so dumb. I punched a hole in your wall, but I'm the maintenance man for the apartments that you lived in.

Gifts, Christmas Banter, And Sleep Deprivation

SPEAKER_13 7:58

Like, hello, your maintenance man was at my house, punched a hole in the wall, and they're like, Why was he there for? He's also my friend. No, I didn't call the people. Hey, um, I did get you a present. I don't want to do that. I want to do that now because it's after Christmas, so. I know, dude. I got you yours.

SPEAKER_14 8:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_13 8:18

Calm down.

SPEAKER_14 8:27

That should take up the whole frame, didn't it? Now you might as well like save your dignity and just crawl up under the camera next time. Ooh. You didn't give me no uh paper towels?

SPEAKER_13 8:45

No, I'm not that cheap.

SPEAKER_14 8:47

Well, it wasn't that I was cheap, it's that I uh forgot the tissue paper. Yeah, you'd have to go back out, buddy. What a quinky ink that I'm wearing this shirt right now. Yeah, it'll match. That's fucking nice. I like that. Yes, sir, yes, hurry.

SPEAKER_13 9:12

Hell yeah, I love Christmas.

SPEAKER_15 9:13

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_13 9:17

I know you lying. And they're actually doing pretty good this year, so I know you lying.

SPEAKER_14 9:23

Oh shit. I love that, dude.

SPEAKER_13 9:27

Fuck yeah. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_14 9:29

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I feel like there's more in here. There is.

SPEAKER_13 9:36

There is more, baby. That's what I do.

SPEAKER_14 9:38

Damn. Bro, I'm about to change my clothes right now. Oh shit. What the fuck, dude? That's what the fuck I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_13 9:54

Hopefully they fit.

SPEAKER_14 9:56

We'll make them fit.

SPEAKER_13 9:57

Right. It'll just be a fucking permanent fixture on you. Just put stuff over it. I gotta put a shirt on over this.

SPEAKER_14 10:06

Oh, that's awesome, dude.

SPEAKER_13 10:07

Oh yeah. Thank you, bro. Yeah, Merry Christmas.

SPEAKER_14 10:10

Thank you. I'm gonna set these somewhere real quick. Yeah, go ahead.

SPEAKER_13 10:12

Do your thing. I always feel like I'm fucking tired of shit all the time now. Fucking sane. Yeah, just fucking. Dude, I'll do like once a week, I'll do like a little fucking 24-hour session where I'm just like up all fucking night. And it's normally on Friday nights. I'm when we're either doing the podcast or if I'm at home with Hannah, I just always fucking end up staying the fuck up and then being tired for the rest of the fucking weekend. Then you know what happens? Monday fucking rolls around and I have to fucking go to work again. And then I just start the process of being tired all over again.

SPEAKER_14 10:52

Yeah, dude. Um put it this way. I have a lot of energy right now. And uh I'll tell you why. I didn't go to bed until 7 this morning.

SPEAKER_13 11:02

That's insane.

SPEAKER_14 11:03

Yeah. Um got up around 10 30, lend o'clock. Right. But uh yeah. Um Gunter. Gunter was over the other day or a couple nights ago, and I th I think we did an episode. Like I know we did an episode, but I don't know where we're gonna fit it in yet exactly. Right. It might just be a bonus episode for the OnlyFans.

Trucking Close Call And AI Dash Cams

SPEAKER_13 11:32

Hey, I'm starting the OnlyFans up. I got the page ready. I just gotta put another couple things in action and then I'm good to go. That's insane. Put my taint up there. No?

SPEAKER_14 11:43

Yeah, you're gonna be upset. Um, but when he was over, we were like filming the podcast at like four in the morning.

SPEAKER_13 11:50

Jesus.

SPEAKER_14 11:51

Yeah. And uh, so I was definitely like up and it fucked my sleep schedule up. Luckily, I only gotta go to work Monday.

SPEAKER_13 12:02

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because of the New Year. Or whatever it is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 12:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 12:09

I um I have to work. On New Year's? Well, not on the day of New Year's, but probably the day before or the day after. So that's lit. Um last night, I fucking played uh not last night, the night before. Friday fucking night. I went home. I was tired or shit, but I was like, man, I really want to drink. Right. I haven't drink in a while, so I was like, I want to drink. So I fucking started drinking. We were watching a hockey game, whatever, rapping presents. And then um I was like, oh man, let's fucking play the game, I guess. And at that point I've been up for like 25 hours. Right. And dude, I'm falling asleep playing the fucking Switch. Damn, dude. Fucking just drunk and tired. And I might have been more tired than drunk, but I felt fucking hammered.

SPEAKER_14 13:00

Dude, sometimes being tired when you're drunk like really amplifies the side effects of the alcohol.

SPEAKER_13 13:08

Right. You're like, I'm on my second fucking drink and I'm fucking hammered right now. That can't be real.

SPEAKER_14 13:14

Dude. That's insane. Um speaking of you working, I have a clip for you. Okay. It's always something that I've wondered uh what can happen. Uh, I want you to click on the second one. Second one right here. Yep.

SPEAKER_09 13:34

Look at this shit! No, look at this shit. My trailer gone. Oh my god. See, if y'all see a trailer and it got like lumber on it, and it got like a black tarp around it, I promise you that's mine. Please bring that shit back immediately. I really need this trailer by need that shit by something. Cause I gotta leave something. So if you see a trailer, it got lumber on it, bring it back to this truck. Just sit me up over here, please. This trailer gone. My job finna be gone with it too. So please don't get in my comments doing a whole lot of extra shit because we need, we don't need nobody. We need to keep a dip between me and the motherfucker that lost it at this point. I mean me and the motherfucker that found it at this point. Now I don't know where this trailer is, but I know it ain't with me right now. So y'all uh help me find this please. Send this to your mama, your auntie, whoever we need to get this to, because we really need this trailer now, because I need my job and Christmas is close, okay?

SPEAKER_13 14:39

I feel like it wouldn't be that um nonchalant about it. Like that that's a that's a fear of mine. I literally go underneath my truck every time that I hook up before I leave. Even even if I just hooked up, if I'm about to pull away, I'll go up under there and check and make sure that fucking pin. Yeah. That's the reason I have a flashlight is so I can go, yep, it's it's in there. I'm good.

SPEAKER_14 15:02

Like, my thing is like wouldn't you be able to feel it when it comes off? It depends. When you get some indications from your airlines or anything like that.

SPEAKER_13 15:14

Yeah, you should. Because it would it would rip the airlines out. Yeah. And you would start losing air just from that. So I mean, uh, and plus it means you're not looking in your mirrors.

SPEAKER_14 15:27

Yeah, dude. Um I've always wondered like going uphill, like if the trailer were to just start rolling back at me.

SPEAKER_13 15:34

Dude. Fucking me and Xavier were on their way somewhere one day, and like traffic was like swerving in front of me and everything, and somebody had lost like a fucking like a utility trailer. And that shit was rolling towards us in traffic. That shit was fucking scary as fuck. You're talking like a box trailer? No, no, the the one they put like lawmowers on and shit. Oh shit. Were the lawnmowers on it? No. No. But it was fucking insane. He was like, Well, what the fuck? Yeah, what the fuck indeed? It's like what world are we fucking living in? Holy shit, dude. Um speaking of work though, so this new thing at work is they put dash cams in. Yeah, AI dash cams. So you're gonna get caught jack jerking off? No, no, it's pointing out. It's pointing out. So I might jack off in front of the truck and get caught. I've already been in front of that shit, like flipping it off and shit, because I hate it. And I wanted to hate me. So um it'll like detect like if you're speeding or if somebody's too close to you or anything like that. So me and the homeboy at work were talking BR. Me and BR were talking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And uh he's like, bro, what if you hit a fucking deer? I was like, Yeah, that's gonna fucking suck because you're gonna. I mean, it'll be on camera, but like hitting a deer in general is gonna suck.

SPEAKER_05 16:47

Yeah.

The Headphone Game Idea And Laughter

SPEAKER_13 16:47

He's like, Yeah, it might, might fucking bust your radiator. And I'm like, yeah, it might. I mean, if it's a smaller deer, you might get away with just a busted bumper or something, but yeah, it could. Well, later on in that fucking day, I was on this uh two-lane road, and I was fucking coming over this hill. When I came over the hill, there was two trucks racing each other with logs on it. Oh shit. So this motherfucking truck was coming head onto me, so I had to like stop. And when I stopped, it became a hard stop. So the camera popped on, and Brian Rock, I mean, uh, BR. Yeah, BR was like, uh, he's like, hey, bro, that would have definitely busted your radiator. I would have died. He's like, yeah, all on fucking camera. I'm like, dog. I would have, I don't, I wasn't worried about my radiator at that point. I was literally like, please don't kill me. I thought that shit was gonna fucking kill me, dog.

SPEAKER_14 17:37

Dude, that's a fucking insane. Like they were definitely racing, not just like trying to pass.

SPEAKER_13 17:42

Yeah. So here's what happens as a truck driver. Not me. I don't do it because I don't I don't like You try to see who's got the larger pipes. No, no, I I don't like the fact of like I may kill you. Right. So if somebody tries to pass me, I normally move over, slow down, let them get past me. Yeah, I'm not in that much of a rush. But sometimes if you try to pass another truck, all of a sudden they'll speed up. And now y'all are going the same speed. I'm in the wrong lane, going head on with people. But on top of that shit, it was a fucking like double yellow line. Like there's a lot of bullshit and you know attached to it. So yeah, yeah. Trailers and whatnot. Yeah, it was fucking, it was like logs. It was like final destination type shit. Oh, yeah. He would have died, I would have died. Like, not a good day for anybody. That one could do probably would have just kept going. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. The one that was racing him, he's gonna keep going. When he finally got close to me, I threw my hands up and then he threw his hands up like it was my fault. So that was lit. Love that, dude. Yeah. That's great.

SPEAKER_14 18:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 18:39

I love that. I'm glad you're still here.

SPEAKER_14 18:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 18:42

Could you imagine the podcast without me?

SPEAKER_14 18:43

I mean, yeah. I do it.

SPEAKER_13 18:45

He's like, I do it all the time. Yeah. Think about it.

SPEAKER_14 18:47

Like, yeah, what if what if what would it be like if it's better?

SPEAKER_13 18:51

You would just have different guests every time. It'd be a variety show.

SPEAKER_14 18:54

Yeah, it would be a variety show. The way I I'd call it um Winston Unfiltered. The Winston Unfiltered show. The unfiltered Winston show.

SPEAKER_13 19:05

The Winston show. But who would be here to uh tell Big Cookie about you wrecking your truck? God damn it, why the fuck? I'm just asking. Who would do that?

SPEAKER_14 19:13

I didn't wreck the goddamn truck.

SPEAKER_13 19:16

Yeah, man. You fucking almost flipped that bitch over in the fucking ditch, remember? You only know how it got out. It's probably still there. It's not still there. Big cook. He was over here wrecking truck. It don't matter.

unknown 19:32

God damn it.

SPEAKER_13 19:33

It don't matter. What's been up with you? Are you are you ready for 2026? I'm sorry. What's been up with you? Um Are you ready for 2026? I was kidding.

New Year Traditions And Party Stories

SPEAKER_14 19:43

What's up with you? Uh dude, not a whole lot. Um Yeah, not a whole lot. Oh yeah? Yeah, I mean you know me, I just be going to work. Right? Right. Sometimes. No, I've gone to work every day. I went to work every day. Yeah. On time. You know, so really making those changes to try to see it. Try and be a better employee. Glad to see. You still praying at work? Um yeah, I do um pray a little bit. Right. Um but uh you know, um, I tried this new method over the weekend and I was like, you know, when did when was my sleep good? When did I have some really good sleep? After pussy. It was underway on the ship.

SPEAKER_13 20:40

That was your best sleep during wartime? Yeah out there. Well, it used to be good. Just open a window here.

SPEAKER_14 20:49

I did I did hear some wild shit last night around four o'clock in the morning. Jesus. Outside that window behind you. I got shot during a podcast, Eric. No, but I was like, man, I had some of the best sleep in the world on the ship. Right. You know, you're in your rack, you're you're in your small little space, and uh, you know, the burling's got the red lights. Right. And uh there's noise. There's constant noise. Right. You're always hearing footsteps or people opening up their racks or pipes, you're always hearing systems running. And then on top of that, you've got the waves, and the ship is just rocking. So all of that tied together. Like the first couple nights, it's a little rough with the noise because you've gone from like sleeping into a in a bedroom that's quiet. Right. To now there's fucking noise. Right. Which is all you also have the same effect when you come back home after being gone for eight months, and there's just noise everywhere, and you come in here and it's quiet as fuck, and you're like freaking the fuck out. You're like, why is why is there no noise? Um You're like, who lives like this? It might be why I sleep with the TV on. I don't know.

SPEAKER_13 21:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 22:00

But um, so what I did was I found a YouTube video that sounds just like I'm in the birthing on the ship, and you hear like racks opening and shit, and you hear footsteps, and I turned my lights red in the bedroom. Right. How'd you get the rocking? I didn't. That was the only element I didn't have. But uh Yeah, dude, I slept four hours and I woke up and I feel fucking great. Right. So is that a one-time thing? I did it two nights. Yeah. I did it for two nights, and uh, it might be a new thing. Yeah. Yeah. Like if I can sleep for four hours and just hear, I'm just sitting there like, right.

SPEAKER_13 22:44

It's nice. I used to love sleeping in the back of the truck in my bed because the uh reefer your reefer unit would be running. It's like the entire fucking time, and it would kind of just the engine would kind of just rock the truck enough. Now, the only caveat caveat caveat to that is that every now and then I would think that my truck's just going. I would wake up and think that I'm supposed to be driving. And that's not the best feeling on earth. You're like, oh shit. Right, like run up there and it's like nothing, and you're like, alright.

SPEAKER_14 23:22

I can go back to sleep. Yeah, dude, I'd be fucking scared as shit. I you know, I have to throw some chalks in or something. What about sleep drove?

SPEAKER_13 23:33

I do that every now and then. Yeah, I mean you sleep work, so I don't sleep work. You're like, yeah, eyes are open, but you out there just catching planes with your eyes open, sleep. Just so used to it. That would be insane, dude. Dude, I mean driving, dog. I'll like drive and I'll look down at my clock or something, and I'll be like, it's been an hour. I've been on the phone with somebody and I've made like 17 turns and I'm like, I don't know how I got here. So that's scary. For y'all.

SPEAKER_06 24:06

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_14 24:09

For me, I'm like, teleport it. I feel like how you felt. Bro, yeah. Teleport it. Teleporting is a good feeling, dude. It's also a scary feeling, but you know. You got any um New Year's revolutions? Um, I don't know about revolutions, but um I don't know. Uh I haven't really thought about it. Okay. I mean, I have the same one every year. Lose weight.

SPEAKER_13 24:36

Yeah, everyone says that. Right. How's that bad? My New Year's resolution is to gain weight, and I'll probably get that goal. You gotta set something that's attainable. Right. You'll be like, bro, I'm I'm not gonna eat no goddamn okra this year. Oh, dude, I love okra. Not me.

SPEAKER_14 24:58

I'll eat some fucking okra.

SPEAKER_13 25:00

You ever gotten uh pickled okra? No, I don't fuck with okra. The the whole point of a revolution is you fucking set something and then you gotta reach that goal. If you set like five resolutions, right? Right you can attain three of them, then next year's New Year's revolution will be even better.

SPEAKER_14 25:26

You heard it here first. You heard it here first, folks. Uh you heard it first. Yep. Yeah, y'all heard it here. Yeah. Uh the revolutions. Yeah. You gotta get the new year's resolutions.

SPEAKER_13 25:38

I don't know why I keep saying revolution. That's insane.

SPEAKER_14 25:40

Yeah, I don't know why I keep saying what the fuck I'm saying either. Yeah. Um heard it here first.

Clip Reel: Best Moments Of 2025

SPEAKER_13 25:46

Yeah, it's you hear it here. Yeah. See? You heard it here, here first. Damn, it is hard to do. Right. I've said it before. You heard it here first, folks. There it is. Right. Crop it and fucking just keep doing press a button.

SPEAKER_12 26:00

You heard it, blah, yeah, first. Just looking unfiltered. Wham, whimp, whimp, whimp, whimp.

SPEAKER_13 26:08

Uh, let me see. I got another video. You want me play another one of yours? Um I gotta see what else I got. I dotta.

SPEAKER_14 26:15

We should stop doing that. I'm not doing anything, buddy. Just scroll up. There you go. Scroll down. Up. Down. Up. You're going too far. Just hit the X. Just fucking say that. Alright, so um I want to talk about it real quick. But uh it's gonna be that first clip on the left. I'm gonna talk about it. So I wanna do this game. I want I want Hannah to get here and uh us to do this game. I think it'll be really fucking cool. Okay. Uh what you're gonna see is you're gonna see the two dudes that had the mics. Uh-huh. They can't hear shit. Right. All right. Okay. Play my shit. Alright.

SPEAKER_16 27:04

What color is a school bus? I've seen this.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

I I read this one perfectly. Hold on, say it again. What color is a school bus? I know it. I know it. What what color is a school bus? What color is your piss? What did you say? What color is your piss? That would work too, though. Yeah. School. School. What color is a school bus? I got nothing. I know it. What? I know it. You got it? Yeah. So what's the answer? Yellow. Yellow. Tether? Yellow. Jell O. Yellow.

SPEAKER_16 27:44

Yellow. Ah, all right. Yellow. The question was, what color is a school bus? The answer is yellow. Immediately I knew that. Good job, boys. Good shit. How many days are in a year?

SPEAKER_02 27:59

How many what? How many cats in a litter? How many what? Cats. Don't look at my hand. How many cats in a litter? And I think it's 12.

SPEAKER_17 28:12

How many what in the year? How many cats in a year?

SPEAKER_02 28:18

In a litter. In a year. It doesn't matter where. I'm not saying where they are. I'm saying this is the number. How many cats are in a litter? You know what a litter is?

SPEAKER_17 28:32

But you're saying like bubblegum, bubblegum in a dish? A litter of cats? What? A litter of cats? Unlimited eggs?

SPEAKER_02 28:40

Unlimited yes. Unlimited eggs. A litter of cats. Yo, I'm so lost. A litter? Of puppies. Puppies? A litter. A litter. Look at me. How many? How many's in a litter? It depends. How big's the dog? How big's the dog?

SPEAKER_13 29:05

I love they're both wrong.

SPEAKER_02 29:08

I think twelve. You think it's twelve? Isn't it? Damn. Eight? A fucking nipple.

SPEAKER_17 29:17

What the fuck are you drawing? Fick abs.

unknown 29:20

Hey.

SPEAKER_17 29:21

Hey, hey.

SPEAKER_16 29:23

So the question was, and Keith was actually close. The question was, how many days are in a year?

SPEAKER_17 29:29

Idiot! I knew it. And the answer did you think we know it?

SPEAKER_13 29:34

And the answer is how bad we're gonna fight with each other? Bro, I want to do this so bad.

House Chaos, Pets, And Parent Life

SPEAKER_02 29:39

I said how many weeks in a year or something like that. Oh, I thought he said how many what if I how many cats are in a litter? Bro, I thought you were saying dogs, bro. Keith, eventually I switched to puppies because you weren't getting cats.

SPEAKER_16 29:55

Keith turned around, looked at me, and said, Is he saying bubblegum, bubblegum in a dick? How many sides does a triangle have?

SPEAKER_02 30:05

I I don't think I'm right. What I saw. So you're giving now he's got a little bit of a little bit of a how many days does a trial have? That's that could it doesn't I don't it I think it's like how many cups in a gallon or something custom I think it's like a measuring canon thing. A measuring canon?

SPEAKER_17 30:26

I think he's like asking how many uh cups are in like a gallon or something like that. I'm so down to do that. How many cups? How many cups are in like a gallon?

SPEAKER_16 30:36

In a gallon. Did he say that? Let's see. One more time. How many sides does a triangle have?

SPEAKER_02 30:44

How many, how many something does a trailer have? I think like the end is how many times?

SPEAKER_16 30:51

How many ties? How many sides does a triangle have? How many something does a jail have?

SPEAKER_17 31:00

Like the end thing's half, right? Half? Is the ending like a half? Your answer is half? The whole thing is bank above a half right now.

SPEAKER_02 31:08

I think one. Huh? One. One? How many doors does a trailer have? You go one, I'll go three. You're saying you're a different number? You go one and I go three? One. Three.

SPEAKER_16 31:21

The question is, how many sides does a triangle have? Three.

SPEAKER_03 31:26

What? Is that what you heard us?

unknown 31:29

No.

SPEAKER_13 31:31

I am 100% down to do that. Oh, dude. It's gonna be insane. I got lost in that shit. I forgot we were even doing the podcast.

SPEAKER_14 31:37

Yeah, dude. It was great. Yeah. Oh, dude. We're gonna be fighting with each other. We're gonna be saying some off-the-wall fucking shit.

SPEAKER_13 31:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 31:44

Hey, how many balls does my sack have? Bro, I was about to say how many testicles does a dolphin have. So yeah.

SPEAKER_13 31:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 31:53

Expect that.

SPEAKER_13 31:54

Expect that. That'll be lit. Oh, hell yeah. It'll be lit A F. Bro, what's your best, like, uh like we're doing a New Year's episode.

SPEAKER_05 32:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 32:05

Uh what's your what's your best like New Year's story? Do you have one?

SPEAKER_14 32:10

My best New Year's story. I'll be honest. I don't remember a lot of New Year's's. No, not just that. Like and you be faded. Uh I don't know. Uh one time faded. Uh we spent New Year's in Fort Myers, Florida. Okay. Who's we? Uh me and Okay. And um I had a Cuban New Year's. How was that? Just cigars and shit. No. Fidel Castro showed up. No, uh, they do this thing. No, they do this thing where uh they pack their suitcases and they put them in the car, and then they go drive around the block, and that's supposed to be for like travel for the year.

SPEAKER_13 33:04

Right. That should just um never mind. Yeah, immigration. Right. Right. It's only 90 miles from Cuba to Miami. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 33:14

Um can't drive it though, so no. Uh I saw a video where this dude had a jet ski and he just like frequently just like goes back and forth. That's probably not legal. How is that not legal?

SPEAKER_13 33:30

Come on, I mean you have to go through border control.

SPEAKER_14 33:35

Yeah, but he doesn't go like to Cuba, he just goes and fish.

SPEAKER_13 33:39

Yeah, but once you hit the waters, I mean.

SPEAKER_14 33:41

I don't know, man. I don't know the logistics. Yeah, bring it up then. Maybe he's got dual citizenship. Maybe. Maybe. Like Tony Montana.

SPEAKER_12 33:51

Yeah, Tony Montana. Tony Montana! Tony Montana. Uh say Molly.

SPEAKER_13 33:58

I got I don't know if that's the same song.

SPEAKER_12 34:00

Say hello to my little friend.

SPEAKER_14 34:02

Is it Tony Montana?

SPEAKER_12 34:03

Is it Hanna Montana?

SPEAKER_14 34:05

Hanna Montana. Hannah Mana Montana. No, that's not it. Hanna Montana. Hanna Montana. Hanna Montana. I got Molly. I got Perks.

SPEAKER_05 34:14

Hanna Montana.

SPEAKER_13 34:15

Hanna Montana. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 34:17

So the other one is Tony Montan.

SPEAKER_13 34:20

I think it is. I don't know that one. Okay. Sometimes I make up songs. Also, we never are on the same page with songs. Remember the one song we were doing um uh uh Poundtown. Poundtown, and you thought it was one thing, and I was doing the sexy red version, and you're doing surround sound. I was like, I don't think we're uh doing the same thing. Not at all. Um, I mean when I was when I was uh married to uh my baby mom's um they used to do all kinds of weird shit. Like you'd have to like leave out, and when the new year happens, you walk through the door with money in your pocket, and that represents like prosperity and like you gotta eat like fucking black-eyed peas and shit. Yep. Yeah, fuck on them traditions. Uh my favorite thing to do on New Year's is to get um slaughtered. And I think we had many of slaughter. I think my favorite New Year story. Oh. I have a great one.

SPEAKER_14 35:21

I just thought about the one where we uh knew some people in Virginia Beach, and we all fired Nerf guns. Yeah, yeah. No, that's the one.

Internet Nostalgia, Imagination, And AI

SPEAKER_13 35:32

Into the ditch. That's the one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking hey, and uh uh uh uh uh uh goddamn um the redhead. Yeah. He was like, hey, bro, if you do that shit one more time, I'm gonna punch you in the face. Dude was like, dude. He was like, and it was so fucking funny. I was faded per usual. Same. I just love getting faded on New Year's. Yeah. Yeah. Last year I worked um security.

SPEAKER_14 36:04

Dude, I don't even remember what I did last year.

SPEAKER_13 36:05

I don't think you come up to uh Shminkle Eagle's Nest. Schmeagel's Best. I'll say their name. Um didn't you come up there for a little bit and you didn't feel good or something? I don't remember. Like a little tummy hurt, something like that. I don't I don't think it was like that, dude. But yeah, I don't I don't remember. Didn't you hang out with Hannah? I think I may have. I think I think you came up there, hung out with Hannah, and you got fucking faded really fucking fast and had to call it Uber. Maybe. Maybe I didn't have to call an Uber. Um I'm trying to remember. I well, I did security last year. And um it was not cool. I didn't like it. I didn't want to do it. They're like, oh come on, man, it's just New Year's Eve, blah blah blah. Right. And the fucking manager ended up getting fucking faded because it was his birthday, so he's drunk as shit in the green room, and it was a shit show, dude. Then we had to set up for fucking football the next day. Yeah, I didn't want to do any of that shit. Bro, that's one thing we haven't done. We haven't gone to Smeagos Best to watch any football. No, I wanted to. Yeah, it's just so far from both of us. I'd rather go to Shore Breaker or whatever. Yeah. Or what's the other one we used to go? Ballyhoose? Yeah. That$5 shrimp. Fill me up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So last year for New Year's, I worked at New Year's. Hannah got fucking faded. See, I think that's what happened. I went to work, and I'm pretty sure that you brought Hannah with you.

SPEAKER_12 37:37

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_13 37:38

I think that's what happened.

SPEAKER_12 37:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 37:40

Well, Hannah ended up getting fucking faded because she knew I was driving her home, which is fine. And then afterwards, she's like, hey, all your coworkers are going to the bar at five o'clock in the morning for brunch or whatever.

SPEAKER_14 37:55

Oh, this one she didn't come home until like 11.

SPEAKER_13 37:57

Bro, I was like, I cannot. I gotta go to bed. I gotta work on Monday, like it's the whole thing. She's like, well, whatever. And I'm like, all right. And uh she showed up at like one o'clock in the afternoon getting dropped off by somebody because she's fucking drunk as shit. Yeah, that was fucking cool. Dude's like, bro, I'm just dropping her off. I promise it's fine. I was like, it's cool, man. Worried about it. Right. Like, I know this bitch is drunk. She's like, I need to go to bed. I was like, Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 38:23

Yeah, I bet. I fucking bet, dude. Dude. To be young again. He's going, mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I can't I can't do nights like that anymore. No?

unknown 38:37

No.

SPEAKER_14 38:38

No. No. Bro, if we were still in a organization. Yeah. Oh, I'd be I'd I'd be a Bowskill. I'd be out of there. Yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_13 38:49

I I'd be like, I'm so tired. Right. Please don't make me do another shot.

SPEAKER_14 38:55

Please don't actually do a lock-in. I don't want to do the boot on my birthday. I don't want to stay here all night.

SPEAKER_13 39:02

Right. I actually don't even really like y'all that much. Oh man. I got um I actually have a special treat if you want to see it. I love treats. Alright. This should I even explain it or just play it? Um dealer's choice. Dealer's choice. Am I the dealer? Alright, I'm gonna play it.

SPEAKER_14 39:29

Sometimes technology is a b just like my exes.

SPEAKER_00 39:32

Well, you chose all those people.

SPEAKER_14 39:34

I didn't choose them. They chose me.

SPEAKER_00 39:38

And you chose to stay.

SPEAKER_14 39:39

And I chose stick around and to uh, you know, see what happens.

SPEAKER_10 39:44

How'd that go?

SPEAKER_14 39:45

Went pretty well, Hannah.

SPEAKER_10 39:46

No, which time went well. Please tell me.

SPEAKER_14 39:48

Every time went well. In fact, every now and then, uh about once a year, I get all of my exes and I take them all out to dinner at the same time. And we all just kind of catch up.

SPEAKER_10 39:57

I think you should start doing a monthly newsletter.

SPEAKER_14 40:00

A monthly newsletter.

SPEAKER_10 40:01

So that we can all be informed of how all of your exes are doing and how they feel about you.

Beards, Grooming, And Products

SPEAKER_13 40:06

Number four. I thought yours was turkey. Mine was ham. Okay, cool. Turkey's not on my list. That's what's up. Number two. Number two. We can do it together. That's fine. Number two, um yams. Yams. Yams. With marshmallows? Absolutely. Okay. Number three.

SPEAKER_01 40:35

I mean, like, as a whole, the room feels good, but it's like as the air is coming out, it feels like someone's standing here, just mouth breathing on me.

SPEAKER_14 40:42

Well, you know what? It is the veins right now are swinging.

SPEAKER_01 40:47

I love how she looked at the camera. What the f did you just say to me?

SPEAKER_15 40:52

The veins. The veins. The veins. V-A-N-E-S, not V-E-I-N-S.

SPEAKER_01 41:00

Oh my god. So I can don't talk to me like that.

SPEAKER_14 41:04

I can lift up the veins. That way it's not directly on you.

SPEAKER_15 41:13

Somehow.

unknown 41:15

Nope.

SPEAKER_10 41:16

You're telling me you could have moved this flap the whole time. It's called a fing vein. It's a flap.

SPEAKER_01 41:23

It's a flap.

SPEAKER_13 41:24

Oh, it's good. Number two. Number two.

SPEAKER_11 41:28

I'm gonna be honest, that drives me.

SPEAKER_13 41:31

It makes me want to leave.

SPEAKER_11 41:33

Because why are you mouth breathing on me from across the phone?

SPEAKER_13 41:36

What do you what do you think the most annoying thing about living with me is?

SPEAKER_11 41:42

The most annoying thing is the fact that a lot of the times we sit directly across from each other at the table and you love to take like a deep breath in and then just blow out all your hair directly from each other. I've been doing better at that every time you eat. And I'm gonna be honest, that drives me out. It makes me want to leave. Because why are you mouth breathing on me from across?

SPEAKER_13 42:09

I'm gonna be honest, I have I have no idea how to do that. Yeah. My bad. I'll try to stop blowing stuff in your face. That's fine. I don't even know I'm doing it. No, um I would say when you talk to me while I'm watching TikTok.

SPEAKER_11 42:23

You don't even know I'm talking.

SPEAKER_13 42:24

I don't know, but I can hear I can feel it. I'm literally on my phone and I can feel you staring at me, and I'm like, that's what happens. That's why I say huh's because I'm pretty sure you're talking to me. But it's like I'll be mid f video.

SPEAKER_11 42:38

Yeah, but do you know when you started that video? Mid conversation with me.

SPEAKER_13 42:41

Yeah, I um you'll be talking to me, and I'll just be like doot doot do full number one. Uno. I accidentally jerked off to um a girl pissing on another girl. But I was already in too deep, so I couldn't change it. Now, here's another question.

SPEAKER_14 43:06

There's a lot of debate about it.

SPEAKER_13 43:07

The love you want to acknowledge me. Is squirt pee. I don't know. I don't know either. I don't care. I'll drink it. I don't give a fuck. Right. Nasty as shit. But don't don't piss on me. If squirt is pissed, just say you squirted. And there's a lot of squirt. Right. Not only that, be hydrated. Yeah, 100%. You over there. Hey. So that was the top five most viewed, most liked videos of 2025.

SPEAKER_14 43:44

Hell yeah. I had fun making it. Dude, can you believe we started this in September? No. Like even though it's been a short amount of time, it's all it's been a multiple multitude of things. It's felt like a long time, felt like a short time. Yeah. But we've also done so much different. Like we started with just a fucking camera and my bar island that we slid into the fucking living room. And tore the fuck up. We tore that island the fuck up, dog. No, we didn't, landlord. Right, just kidding. Just kidding. Yeah, JK. We actually made it better. It's movable now. Yeah, now it has wheels. Um, but then we upgraded that, put wheels on it, made things a little easier.

SPEAKER_13 44:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 44:35

Um then we um continued to do episodes in there. Then we got the idea to come into the office and just make the office a permanent studio where we don't have to set up and dismantle an entire kitchen and living room. Every fucking week.

SPEAKER_13 44:53

Every week. Yeah, but that shit started off the first two episodes in here were just barebone. Right. It was barebone. I thought that when we do the clips, it looked like we was in jail.

SPEAKER_14 45:01

Dude. The desk was too long, the lighting wasn't right. There was that shit was sagging in the middle. Right. There was nothing to compliment, like there was nothing to make each side personable. Right. Um, the desk was also narrow. Yeah. Couldn't lean on it at all. Bro, see how wide I am?

SPEAKER_13 45:20

Right. Right. I was wider than the table. No, I looked big as fuck at that desk. Right. At that table.

SPEAKER_14 45:26

Because it was so fucking short. Right. But we we've done a lot to like gross already, and uh I think this space right here is gonna work great for a while. Yeah. And uh we've also done like things with like the editing side of things, and uh actually like uh the editing and the clips. You notice that that last clip, the number one clip, is different from all the other clips, you know. So now we're editing the clips differently. We're doing the thumbnails different on YouTube. So like a lot has changed since September.

SPEAKER_13 46:00

I mean, we got um, you know, what what is the YouTube subscriber count right now? Uh 38. 38, 200 plus followers on TikTok, um you know, Instagram, Facebook, um, Apple Podcasts, Spotify.

Gym Talk, Diet Reset, And Motivation

SPEAKER_14 46:17

Spotify. We're um we're on so many different podcast streaming elements right now. Yeah. Um can't even name all of them. We are working on getting on Amazon and iHeartRadio. Uh those are in the works. I think Amazon's gonna be short-lived. We'll see. They're gonna listen to an episode and be like, absolutely not, get the fuck out of here. Right. We're gonna get a call from Bezos. Yeah, we're looking into.

SPEAKER_13 46:43

I mean, that what what do you what with the podcast are you most looking forward to expanding on or making better or or or pushing forward in 26?

SPEAKER_14 46:57

Um, I I think right now everything is good with the on the production side so far. Yeah. Um, I don't I see a couple small things that I would like to do differently or maybe test the waters with.

SPEAKER_13 47:14

Right.

SPEAKER_14 47:14

But uh I would like to see uh for 26 the following to come through and uh to maybe start producing other podcasts under us. Yeah. And uh just kind of creating a family.

SPEAKER_13 47:30

Yeah. I I think that if we could uh on on that, if we could get our numbers up and get the following, I think we could push the following on to you know, having other podcasts under one umbrella. Uh yeah, I think that would work. Um, I think for me for uh 26, I'd like to get into some partnerships. Hang on.

SPEAKER_14 47:51

Oh, my bad. Go ahead. Hang on. Um what do you see for 2026 as um to to that you would want to see with the podcast happen or uh anything thereof there at?

SPEAKER_13 48:04

Yeah, I um I I would like to um maybe have some partnerships with um some products that we believe in. I don't I think it's good to not um just anybody that comes knocking at the door, you know, to promote their item. I don't want to just promote anything that I wouldn't even you know believe in. Right. You know, so you know I would only promote things that I would fucking believe in.

SPEAKER_14 48:32

Right. I mean, at the end of the day, we're gonna do this podcast regardless because we we love doing it and we have fun doing it. Yeah. And it's just literally us bullshitting and inviting the viewers to uh just listen to us. But one thing that would be nice is to get a little something from it.

SPEAKER_13 48:51

Yeah. I don't think anybody not even money wise. Yeah. That'd be cool too, but like just getting a product sent to you to be like, hey, try this out, see if it's something you would enjoy, see if your viewers were enjoying it. Right. I think that'd be dope. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 49:08

All right, that's yeah, that's where I'm out with it. Right.

SPEAKER_13 49:14

Right. Oh shit. 2026 is gonna be dope, man. 25 was pretty dope.

SPEAKER_14 49:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 49:20

Um what do you think the best podcast moment of 25 was? Not the best clip. What's the best moment, do you think? Best moment. And worst moment. I got my worst moment where it's like nobody will we talked about it before, but nobody really knows about it. Okay.

SPEAKER_14 49:48

Um I'll I'll say my best moment was probably our first episode. Okay. Just ha having that experience with you. And just it being our first. Right. You know. Yeah, virginity, baby. That's right. You know. Popping that cherry.

SPEAKER_13 50:03

But uh sounded like.

SPEAKER_14 50:05

Yeah. But you know, just just doing that and uh, you know, getting the nervousnesses out. Yeah. You know, the first episode was definitely a shit show.

unknown 50:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 50:15

Like I had my I had my laptop up there. Yeah. Yeah. But I I don't think it was a bad episode, but uh, you could just tell like we was fresh.

SPEAKER_13 50:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 50:24

I still think we're we're we're nowhere near not fresh now. Right. But you can tell we're more comfortable.

SPEAKER_13 50:29

Yeah. Yeah, I don't even get nervous before the podcast anymore. No. My best moment is um the uh first little commercial thing that we did where our voices were deep. That was like my the moment where I'm like, this is fun. Right. This is fun. We can we should continue doing this. I mean, to be honest, me and you are both the same when it comes to doing things. Yeah. We suck at just following through.

unknown 50:54

Yeah.

Creative Rut, Distance, And Mental Health

SPEAKER_13 50:55

Like there's a lot of shit that we've done together where we're like, man, we're gonna fucking we're gonna do this big. And sometimes there's hiccups in the road where we're just like, I'm not willing to continue to do something that I'm not having fun with anymore. Right. I think like um with um Cornhole, we were going fucking hard at Cornhole, then hit his job told him he had to work a different shift and it was hard for us to do our shit. That was one hiccup. But then like we got to where we were good again, and then we were at this bar where we were supposed to start doing cornhole where we were hosting it. Yep. People actually said they were gonna fucking show up. It was gonna be a good time, and the fucking bar closed without even telling us.

SPEAKER_14 51:34

Well, before it even closed, we actually had our opening tournament and it rained. Rained. And we had a bunch of people actually show up. Yep. And then the next day we got told that the bar was fucking shutting down. Yeah. Like the fuck? Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 51:50

So I feel like I feel like they knew the bar was gonna shut down. Why even fucking ask us? Because I remember having that meeting with them. We took Hannah with us because Hannah's like our Hannah's our person that's kind of keeps us legal team. Yeah, well, I think she keeps us grounded. Yeah. Because sometimes our minds can wander where we think that we can do. Like sometimes I feel yeah, in my head, I'm like, dog, we're just like two bears, one cave. We are. And like, nah, we're not, but like that's where Hannah comes in to keep us grounded. Because like the cornhole thing, like, remember she asked us our five-year plan? And like we had a five-year plan of like we were gonna be fucking professionals and start making a board company. Yeah, we're gonna make our own bag company and all this other stuff. And it was like, no, we weren't. Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 52:36

It was cool to think about, but like this, it's like well, I think that's where dreams and things actually start. Like, I don't think there's anything wrong with us actually having those ideas because who knows, like maybe like if we would have stuck with it, we would have a bad company right now, you know.

SPEAKER_13 52:52

Well, I feel like with this in particular, it's um free. Well, not uh it's definitely not free. It's definitely not fucking free. Yeah, no, no. We're definitely putting out way more money that you're definitely putting out way more money than uh free. Yeah, we're definitely not bringing anything in, but I think that it's I think that it will balance out at a point. Right. I think with this, you know, where it comes to skill, like how cornhole was skilled, the practice to practice to practice, we're practicing and putting it out there for people to listen to. And it's like um, you know, our skill is fucking being funny and talking. Yeah. And I mean, I feel like I'm pretty good at it. I feel like I'm good at it. Yeah, and together we're fucking I mean, even with having Hannah in here and fucking Hunter, I mean I saw bits and pieces of the Hunter episode. I guarantee you were fucking hilarious in that shit. Because there was probably some awkward moments where you made that shit even more awkward. That's one of my specialties, baby. So I was I was worried about doing the Hannah episode because of us like living together, being together and everything. Sometimes when you do something with somebody you live with and you have that relationship with, sometimes things gets things get too personal. Right. And it doesn't really correspond to what you're trying to put out to people. Right. So sometimes they sometimes you get lost in your own stories, and it's like they don't give a fuck about that. Like like right now, they could people like right now are probably fast forwarding like, fuck are they talking about? This shit ain't funny. Remember Buddha? It was real slow, but then some parts are really funny, like, we don't care about your dad. Like, okay. I'm still gonna fucking tell you. Right, yeah. We're still gonna tell you.

SPEAKER_14 54:30

Thank you for listening. Appreciate that. Yeah. Um yeah, no, I think that's really good. Um yeah, no, I I I think we found our what do you call that? Your niche? Yeah. Yeah. Um, and so like I I don't see this going anywhere. I don't I see us nowhere but up. That's right. Because you know the the higher you smell like asparagus. Right. I don't know why that keeps happening. The higher you go up, the harder you fall down.

Travel Plans, On-Location Pods, And 2026 Goals

SPEAKER_13 55:04

That's right. Yeah. That's right. You want to see another clip? I do. Alright. Also, real quick, if y'all want to comment or fucking tell us something, it's fine to do that. We can take criticism. Yeah. Seems like everybody we talk to says it's funny as fuck, and blah blah blah. I'm like, I appreciate that, but also some of that negative feedback is good too, even though it makes me and him fight. Because I'm like, fuck that person. He's like, bro, it's good feedback. I'm like, fuck that. We're fucking funny. Yeah. That one dude definitely didn't have like he had a point, but I don't think me and you disagreed on what the point was. It was a good point. But it didn't make any sense.

SPEAKER_14 55:48

It made sense to me.

SPEAKER_13 55:49

Yeah, because y'all are both probably cut from the same cloth. Down syndrome. Oh. At least I said the right word. All right, check this out. Um, I'm playing you another clip. If I remember correctly, this is something we'll never do, but you always talk about kind of doing it. Okay. All right. No, this ain't it. It's the next one.

SPEAKER_09 56:16

God damn it's fucking hell. Hold on. Just fucking hell. Nothing's happening.

SPEAKER_12 56:24

What a ratty ass fucking pizza chip, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_09 56:31

It's the last pin of one of those five.

SPEAKER_12 56:58

Fucking hate everything buttons. You gotta just sit around and fucking do nothing. You fucking went in.

SPEAKER_13 57:13

Bro, I've crashed out like that all the time. Yeah? Yeah, all the time. Being a dad is like, you're gonna crash out.

SPEAKER_14 57:21

Dude, um, you know, I see all these people that are like mad with their house and whatnot, and I wish I had a house that I couldn't do work on.

SPEAKER_13 57:28

Bro, I'll get you'll get mad at it. Especially, especially when you have so here's what it is. Here's what it is. I'm gonna tell you what it is. So you'll be like, oh man. Like, not to sound like the 1950s or anything, but you'll fucking go to work. Well, no, not even that. But you'll go to work. It's not even about my girl. It's the fucking kids. We can literally clean the house up. Like right now, I have three teenagers at my house right now. My son and his two friends because it was his birthday.

unknown 57:56

Right.

SPEAKER_13 57:56

So they're having a fucking powwow, whatever the fuck they're doing. And um, we cleaned the house before they came over. 15 minutes after they got there as fuck. Yeah. Yeah. And then and then Ollie, he's he's like a fucking tornado. I'll go upstairs and take a piss, come back downstairs, and he's like, I dropped my chips all over the place. I'm like, all right, well, clean it up. He's like, No, you clean it up. And then it's like, do I argue with a three-year-old, or I just, what the fuck? Fuck this fucking house. I'm tired of this fucking shit.

SPEAKER_14 58:29

Right. Yeah. I mean, it was the same way when I I live with um one of my exes and she had two kids.

SPEAKER_13 58:36

Yeah. It's the kids, dog. It's not your spouse. It's not your spouse, dog. That's the one thing you have to learn. Because I I have snapped off on Hannah a couple times about it. Because like the cats, the kids, the lizards, the fucking dog. I'm fucking home fucking five hours a day. Why can I not get a piece of quiet in a clean little area? But no, it's like I'm in a prison and the warden is a three-year-old or a cat that likes to piss on the floor. Riddle me the hat, Batman. Um, I mean, fig. Oh, that's better now. Oh, is it? Yeah, she um oh man, I don't even think I told you about this, bro. You want me to get into it, or did you have something you want to do?

SPEAKER_14 59:19

No, tell me. I'm interested.

SPEAKER_13 59:20

I need to know about Figgy Fig. So, well, the the story starts off with Landy. Landy Boots fucking the other day decided he was gonna meow at our door. And whatever, I was at work, so I don't care. So she woke up to wake up the oldest, and she's like, I'll tend to him when fucking I get out of the room. So we got out of the room, and he's like dragging his body across the floor, and behind him, his blood. He was bleeding from his penis. Yeah. What the fuck? Yeah, so she calls. Me and she's like, hey, Landy's bleeding from his penis now crashed out because I knew it was gonna cost me money. Yeah. So I'm like, just fucking take the fucking cat to the doctor, to the vet, and do the thing that you have to do. I was like, but like she thinks it's unreasonable of the amount where I'm like, hey, once it hits this amount, like put that bitch to death. Like 500 was my max where I'm like, hey, get rid of them. And I know people I know people don't like the I don't give a fuck. I don't like pets. If a fucking horse breaks its leg, you fucking shoot it. These aren't horses. Right, and then it has a bullet hole and a broken leg. You know what I'm saying? No, so whatever cost me about$300. So now the cats are on. Go ahead. What caused the penis bleed? Oh, it was like a uh UTI type fucking uh he had crystals in his P.

SPEAKER_14 1:00:59

Oh shit. I thought I thought like he tried to get some and he got bit.

Merch, Editing, Growth, And Outro Cheers

SPEAKER_13 1:01:06

No, he he's fixed. And once your balls are gone, you don't really want to fuck no more. So I've heard. Okay. Yeah. Um, so now they're on this uh new food for uh urine. Mm-hmm. And they eat the same food because even if you give them different food, they'll swap bowls. They'll like walk past each other and eat each other's food. So we just feed them the same food. So we're thinking Fig might have had a similar situation going on and maybe couldn't make it to the bathroom because we ended up putting a oh dog, you would love this. She bought a cabinet with um a walkthrough, and you walk through, and behind the cabinet, the litter box is inside the cabinet behind doors. Oh shit. You can't even tell it's a fucking litter box. That's awesome. It just looks like the cat's going somewhere to fucking hide. So we got that downstairs now, and we haven't had any fucking accidents. So knock on wood for that. Hell yeah. Congrats, Fig. Yeah, the only thing that sucks is that fucking food is fucking$70 for a seven-pound bag. God, yeah. Yeah. That's$10 a pound. Hey, that's how you get your peace, your little peaceful space. I guess though. That's a lot of money, though.

SPEAKER_14 1:02:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 1:02:24

It's a lot of money. And I'm like, how, how, how often are we gonna go through? Because I'm okay with it. It's fine. Unless it reaches$500. Yeah, then you gotta get rid of them. That goes with kids too. That's why healthcare is important. Because if uh if I had to take my kid and they're like, yeah, let's gonna be$600 and pull the plug. There's no plug to pull. Like fucking abortion. Can't do that when they're alive. Death penalty. I don't I don't know what to say. No, I wouldn't do that to my kids, but the pets, yeah. Yeah. Um then we got Daisy who's fucking still kicking. Bro, how? I don't want the dog to die because I don't want to deal with that with the with the kids. You know what I'm saying? Like Xavier will be a fucking mess, Ollie will be a mess, Hannah will probably be a mess. I'm sitting there like, it's just a fucking dog. But like, how are you still kicking? Why are you still doing the things you're doing like you're a puppy?

SPEAKER_14 1:03:17

That dog is a is a scientific anonymally. Uh yeah, nominally. Anonymally. Yeah, dude. Um, I've seen that dog go through a lot of things. Yeah. And uh doors.

SPEAKER_13 1:03:33

Yeah. Yeah. We fucking went to um we went out of town. Where did we go? Did we go to Colorado? Was it last year we went to Colorado? I think it's we went to Colorado and that fucking dog scratched through the entire door. Yeah. Like Yeah, I remember that. I feel like those dads. I feel like them. Like I get it. I get it. Because you go to work all day. It happens to me the other day. I literally went to work the other day, or every day. I've been working fucking five days a week, fucking 12 hours a day, and I come home and I just want to like chill. So I was at home and I was like, fucking, I was making hot chocolate. That's all I was doing. And then this little motherfucker's like, dad, dad, daddy, dad, daddy. And I was like, what could you possibly want from me? Phone died. And I snapped. I don't give a fuck about that phone. Fuck that phone. I'll break that bitch right now. Then I had to apologize because I'm a softie to him. So if it was Xavier, I would have kept it moving. But with him, I'm like a fucking softie. It's like he'll just look at me with that bottom lip poked out, like, come here, man. My bad. You want some hot chocolate? He don't want no fucking hot chocolate. Right. Yeah, so I feel I feel what these dads are going through. I get it. The crash out's real.

SPEAKER_14 1:04:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 1:04:58

I remember you telling me about your dad crashing out. Cause uh in the car. I I don't want to say too much because I don't know if you want if you want to talk about it. But it's like, you can cut it, you can cut it out if I uh Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_14 1:05:31

No, that was actually uh um that she wasn't pregnant. That was uh when they were getting ready for her wedding.

SPEAKER_13 1:05:41

Oh, that's right, right.

SPEAKER_14 1:05:42

The wedding.

SPEAKER_13 1:05:42

I I know it was something special like that.

SPEAKER_14 1:05:44

Tell the story. Yeah, so um Big Cook. Yeah. We were somewhere, I forget where we were for my sister's wedding. I think it was like Wilmington or something. But um something about wanted to go to the ch wanted to go see the church, and then she had some friends of me to the beach and all this, and we're all in the ve we're all in my dad's truck and whatnot, and we're riding around, and my dad asked her, like, do we want to go we're going to the church or whatnot? And she's like, No, I gotta meet my friends at the beach, and he's like, Well, I thought you wanted to go to the church. Right. And he goes, She goes, uh, Daddy, stop yelling at me. And my dad goes, Oh, honey, I ain't yelling. You think this is yelling?

SPEAKER_12 1:06:32

This is yelling! I wasn't yelling before, but I'm yelling now.

SPEAKER_14 1:06:38

Right. That dad crash out. Yeah. So um Yeah, I I've actually you know, funny thing, um when I was uh half of half of a stepdad. Oh um half of a stepdad, you're like a quarter dad. Yeah, when I when I was a quarter dad, right. Um I quarterback, but better. Right. Um but uh you know, I was a quarter dad for what three years. Yeah. But um I actually used that same line one time. Yeah?

SPEAKER_13 1:07:14

Yeah. Oh Doug, I hate sounding like my parents. I hate it. I love it. I hate it. You ever said bone dry to somebody? I do that on a regular. Nah, this this toothbrush is bone dry. I hate it when my parents, I hate sounding like them. What do you think I was born under a rock? I hate telling my kid that I already know you're lying. Yeah. Hate that shit. Now I know my parents definitely knew when I was lying. Right. But also, like having a kid, man, you gotta pick your battle. That's how I feel. I'm not gonna fight you on everything.

SPEAKER_14 1:07:49

Bro, I remember one time um it was summer break. And this is right around the dawn of the age of Xbox Live on the 360 and whatnot. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, this was back when good times. Right. But this is back when like internet was slow. Yeah. We didn't have this shit what we got now. And the most you can get was like what DSL. I don't even know what that stands for. Dick sucking lips.

SPEAKER_13 1:08:14

Yeah, dick dick sucking lips. You know we get Verizon dick sucking lips. Right. Well, they're not gonna sponsor us.

SPEAKER_14 1:08:21

Um but uh it was summer, and like I was at the house and the internet was slow and I was like, Dad, can we like upgrade the internet? Can we upgrade the internet? I kept hammering them about it.

SPEAKER_13 1:08:33

Right.

SPEAKER_14 1:08:33

So I didn't find this out until years later. But my dad went outside and told my mom he's like, he thinks this goddamn internet's slow now. Wait till he sees how slow it is when I unplug the son of a bitch.

SPEAKER_13 1:08:45

Damn.

SPEAKER_14 1:08:46

And so he unplugged the internet from the house. Yeah. And he went to work and I called him and I was like, Hey dad, uh, can I talk to you about the internet real quick? He's like, son, I'm too busy, I can't talk right now. But he knew what he did. Right. And uh, so I called my mom and I was like, Mom, the internet's like not working. Can I call the repairman? Blah, blah, blah. And she's like, You have to talk to your dad about that. That that costs money when the repairman comes out. Right. So I called my dad back, he'd get pissed off.

SPEAKER_13 1:09:13

Oh my God. Yeah. My son hates that uh if he clicks on something, it doesn't happen right away. And I'm like, bro, growing up, like, remember watching porn on a flip phone? You couldn't. No. You can go to like Google Images and be like, titties. And you can scroll through like three of them and you're like, this is gonna take a while.

SPEAKER_14 1:09:32

Imagination was real. Yeah. I think that's uh that's a huge loss to this generation, is imagination imagination. Imaginary jerking off. No, just imagination. Oh.

SPEAKER_13 1:09:44

No, no, because a lot of people I have a three-year-old. There's still he doesn't jerk off, but there's still imagination. Jesus fucking Christ is saying. Um be weird.

SPEAKER_14 1:09:55

I was just talking about like imagination. Unfiltered. I was just talking about imagination in general, where like everything now, like we have so much content being fed into us versus as before.

SPEAKER_13 1:10:09

Like, I mean, even TI fucks you up.

SPEAKER_14 1:10:12

10-15 years ago, there was more content being put out, and I or more imagined like I'm not saying like put out onto the internet, but like us as people, we were putting out more stuff than we were taking in. Yeah. Uh so I feel like that may have an effect on how the future goes. Yeah, probably. Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 1:10:32

I mean, that's why I get in arguments all the time with uh Hannah about AI. She's not the biggest fan of AI, but I'm like, there's some there's some stuff that it's good at. Yeah, I mean, we might as well learn how to live with it. Yeah, I mean, we have an intro and a and an outro from AI. You know what I mean? We got pictures from AI. You know, any of the cartoon stuff is pictures from AI. I mean, I'm not out here doing fucking graphic design. It it takes people like yeah, I do feel bad for people that are losing jobs because of AI. Yeah, but the likelihood of like someone like me paying for an intro and an outro to a podcast wasn't gonna happen. I wasn't gonna pay for a graphic designer to fucking make this shit for us. I probably would have just stolen it off of YouTube and hoped nobody found out.

SPEAKER_14 1:11:19

Right. Um another thing too. Um yeah. No, no, no. Hell yeah. Stop it. You're gonna make it worse. You're gonna make it worse. Um, another thing that uh I think is a killer of uh occupations is OnlyFans. No, no, hear me out. Think about how many of these OnlyFans girls were gonna go to like med school or law school. And then was like, nah, I'm gonna just throw some titties. Yeah, but you could do both.

SPEAKER_13 1:11:56

Dude, there was always there was always a thing of the girls that were stripping to go through school. It's the same fucking thing. Right. They never actually went to fucking school because they made so much money stripping.

SPEAKER_14 1:12:05

How is OnlyFans different from stripping? Well, here's here's what pissed me off. People wouldn't fire uh or like kick you out of school for like being a stripper and funding your way through school like that. Right.

SPEAKER_13 1:12:15

But now if you're you can't represent Northwestern while you're sucking dick on OnlyFans.

SPEAKER_14 1:12:20

Right. And so they're kicking these girls out and whatnot, and I think that's fucked up. I agree. Because it's the same thing.

SPEAKER_13 1:12:25

Same thing as we fight the system then. OnlyFans models, we're here for you.

SPEAKER_14 1:12:29

We love you. Keep doing your thing. We do love you. We support you. Maybe not financially, but no.

SPEAKER_13 1:12:37

I like uh seeing OnlyFans models that are like um local. I like that. Oh, you where you can be like, I bumped into you at food line. Right. Right. Right. That never happened when I was younger. Oh, I see. Jamis, Jenna Jamison, whatever fuck her name is, was never fucking at Eagle's Nest dancing. Right. You know, but I might see a chick at Eagles Nest and fucking we're Facebook friends, and I'm like, oh shit, you have an OnlyFans? Yeah. Oh, I've always wanted or a girl from that you went to high school with.

SPEAKER_14 1:13:06

Yeah. I think there's a couple of girls that I went to high school with that actually have one. Yeah, absolutely. You should. Doug, we have one.

SPEAKER_13 1:13:14

We have an OnlyFans. I don't know about that. We do. I showed it to you. We have an OnlyFans. I don't know why you're so upset. Do you know what OnlyFans was started for? I mean, it was just for regular like shit like this.

SPEAKER_14 1:13:27

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 1:13:27

I know what it was created for. It's just gonna be pay-per-view. Yeah. So basically, it's gonna be free at first. We get some following, bump that bitch up to like a dollar. You pay a dollar a month, and you get videos that aren't on YouTube, TikTok, and shit like that. Maybe some bloopers. Maybe you can hit us up, we can say happy birthday to your fucking girlfriend or something. I don't know. Okay. No, I'm just trying to expand. Yeah, no, okay. Yeah, as long as you know. I might show my butthole a couple of thumbs.

SPEAKER_14 1:13:54

There we go.

SPEAKER_13 1:13:55

Yeah. See, I had an OnlyFans idea back in the day. Right. Do you remember this? I don't think you were part of it, but it was four of us. It was four dudes, right? And we were gonna have an OnlyFans. Gay OnlyFans. No, no, it wasn't gay. We would just take turns posting our dicks. But then you gotta see each other's dicks.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 1:14:18

Oh, you watch porn. You see a dick in porn.

SPEAKER_15 1:14:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 1:14:22

Not a lot of males like fucking lesbian porn. There's always got to be a dick in there.

SPEAKER_15 1:14:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 1:14:28

I like P.O.V.

unknown 1:14:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 1:14:30

Because I can pretend like it's mine. How'd my dick get so black? I've always wanted this.

SPEAKER_14 1:14:44

That's gonna be on the thumbnail.

SPEAKER_13 1:14:46

Oh, that's that shit ain't gonna get no views. YouTube's gonna fuck a shadow ban the fuck out of that shit. Alright, this next clip is the one I think I was telling you about. Still no. But I know this one hurt your stone. I know you're a Lego guy.

SPEAKER_14 1:15:13

Yeah, we've crashed out. Oh not the number.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:27

I wouldn't know.

SPEAKER_14 1:15:32

I'm ill is intentional. Alright, I like the little Lego on the bottom. I don't know if you can do that or not. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:42

I would never do Lego again.

SPEAKER_13 1:15:47

Hold on, hold on. Now kids, kids will fuck up a good thing when it comes to Legos.

SPEAKER_14 1:15:59

Oh yeah. Now, hang on. I think I saw a couple frauds in there. That one where I said that shit looks intentional. Yeah. I'm pr pretty sure that was the same one where she was coming down off the ladder.

unknown 1:16:11

Right.

SPEAKER_14 1:16:12

And that green stool. Right. Can we go back to that real quick? Uh all right. So see that green stool? Right. All right. Now go keep going back.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:24

Alright, I got it, guys.

SPEAKER_14 1:16:26

Let me keep playing? No, I want you to keep going back. Oh, back. Okay.

SPEAKER_13 1:16:30

All right.

SPEAKER_14 1:16:33

Alright, right there. Right here?

SPEAKER_13 1:16:35

Yep. Green stool. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_14 1:16:40

See how it looked like she threw it as well?

SPEAKER_13 1:16:43

This fucking video is a fraud.

SPEAKER_14 1:16:45

Some of them are real. Oh, you can definitely tell some of them are real. But now keep keep playing. Go go go to where she's coming off the ladder. It's about to happen. Let's let it go.

SPEAKER_13 1:16:56

Green stool. You're right. You're right. This one is an intentional look. Fucking kids. Crash out mode. Activate it. Yeah. Yeah, you definitely.

SPEAKER_14 1:17:12

I've got my fucking uh BD1 back behind me. And uh, I've had BD1 for a couple years now, and I it's it pisses me off so bad. But I have one piece of BD1. Now BD1 has moved with me. He was with me when we when we lived together. Okay. And so then I moved. Right. And he stayed with me there. Right. And then I moved to my studio. And then I moved here. So he's been what three moves since his creation? Four. Yeah. Something like that. Four moves. Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 1:17:50

So uh me, Weepy, studio here.

SPEAKER_14 1:17:54

Yeah. Well, I build him with you. Uh well, I built him. Okay, so three. Yeah, so three moves. And I have one piece of him, just a tiny little one by two brick that's sitting over there, and I don't know where it goes. And I can't figure it the fuck out, but it bothers me. Yeah, that's funny. So seeing all the like just knowing that you created something and like and then like it just all the pieces are everywhere. Bro, I don't even know where to start.

SPEAKER_13 1:18:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 1:18:20

No, it would make me never do Legos again.

SPEAKER_13 1:18:22

Bro, I'd be so fucking pissed. Anna likes Legos.

SPEAKER_14 1:18:25

She's really into like the diamond art right now, too. Oh, you're talking about like with a um Yeah. Just put the little blips or whatever.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:32

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_14 1:18:33

Yeah. I've seen those. It looks cool.

SPEAKER_13 1:18:35

I always want to color. But like my patience and like you're talking about the imagination thing?

SPEAKER_14 1:18:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 1:18:43

I think that I'm a 12-year-old, I guess, because fucking. No, I'd rather be on my phone or playing a video game sometimes. You know how I get with video games, but I'd rather do that than anything else.

SPEAKER_14 1:18:55

Yeah. Um there was there was a point in time where I wanted to get into like some adult coloring boats. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_13 1:19:04

I don't like that they're all fucking a whole bunch of shapes. Why can't I just be a regular fucking picture like a dog?

SPEAKER_14 1:19:09

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why does that have to be a dog catching a frisbee in front of a fire hydrant in front of a fire station? Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 1:19:17

I think that um I thought us having a gaming PC would solve all my gaming problems. Right. Until I wanted to play NHL 26. And now I have to buy a cons console again. Yeah, dude. And that's fucked. It is fucked, dude. Because I've I paid almost a grand for a fucking computer.

SPEAKER_14 1:19:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 1:19:42

I that's annoying.

SPEAKER_14 1:19:44

I also wanted to know one of your Christmas gifts was about to be a new Xbox. There's no way. It was. I'll pull up my search history. That'd have been insane. Yeah. I know. What can I say? Better friend. Well, you didn't get it.

SPEAKER_13 1:19:58

You didn't get it, so You know what I was gonna get you? A Lamborghini? Bullshit. Nah, I'll pull up my search history. Oh, okay. The fuck. He's just like a fucking parent where you hit him with the I was gonna buy you a car, but you got in trouble. You remember when your parents used to do that shit?

SPEAKER_14 1:20:13

No, my dad did that to me. I was going through flight, whatever, bitch. I was I was going through flight lessons. Right.

SPEAKER_13 1:20:20

And I got caught uh with the girl in the garage.

SPEAKER_14 1:20:23

Yeah, why the truck. Yeah, well, I brought her inside and whatnot. And like we didn't do anything. And like, swear on to this day, we weren't planning on doing nothing. We were gonna go to the beach, and I had picked her up from school, and I was like, well, instead of taking you here, all the way down here, dropping you off, driving back to my place, grabbing my swim shit, driving back to you to pick you up, and then to the beach, I was just like, Why was she in the house, Winston?

SPEAKER_13 1:20:48

Well, bro, don't get me wrong. I mean, don't lie to me. If she had pulled that thing out, you would have hit. Probably, but we'd already did that day. Okay, cool. Yeah. But he's like, I ain't gonna fuck in the house, Pops. And he's like, I ain't trying to hear that shit. Yeah. If you ain't fucking in the house, we ain't fucking nowhere. I mean, you don't fuck in my house. But yeah, no, I got white girl.

SPEAKER_14 1:21:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 1:21:10

Love the whiteies.

SPEAKER_14 1:21:11

But you know, I got grounded from flight lessons because of that.

SPEAKER_13 1:21:14

So my son, the other day, we were at the store, and he bought this, uh, he wanted to buy this hood. I let him buy it. I didn't care. Like, I was trying to like, I was trying to do like a teaching lesson lesson, and he bought a shirt that said end glock we trust or a hoodie. And I was like, hey bro, what if somebody's like, hey man, where's that glock that you trust in? And then they shoot you. And you know what he said to me? Really loud? Everybody get a load of this cracker. And I was like, I hate teenagers. And then if I got close to him in that store to fuck him up, he'd go, Help! Help! I fucking hate the kid, man. I I don't hate him, but he's a lot, bro. I see what my parents went through. Bro, I think we need to get X up here for a pod. I would love to, but I think he would talk like Hunter and Hannah did the first episode. We can adjust that. Yeah. I think it'd be hilarious to have him up here, but also like just with his friends? Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 1:22:17

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, umbrella, baby, 2026.

SPEAKER_13 1:22:23

Um I really want to show you this clip, but I think it's the next one. But I keep saying that. Okay.

SPEAKER_14 1:22:31

Um you want to take a pass break real quick? Sure. Okay, cool. All right. Yeah, I know. Okay. That's right, Brian. We're back, all pissed up and ready to go here for our New Year's, our New Year's episode special. New Year. Although we haven't talked much about the New Year's. Yes, we have. We've talked a little bit about the New Year's, but Why he's not like a fucking AI person.

SPEAKER_13 1:23:34

We haven't talked about the New Year's.

SPEAKER_14 1:23:36

But when the New Year's Cheers, bud. Cheers, brother. I had to make sure it was open, so I looked at it.

SPEAKER_13 1:23:53

I said cheers, I chug. Oh. Oopsie daisies. Do you have any plans of going anywhere this year? I want to do a couple episodes from like on location. Yeah, that would be dope. Some like travel vlogs. Yeah, like I think we should go to like maybe an out-of-town comedy show of like one of the big comedians and do like a like a 45-minute show in the hotel room. Like, us, obviously, not the comedian, unless they want to. Yeah. They won't. Like uh Bart Chris. Yeah. Uh you can say their names. I don't know why you do that.

SPEAKER_14 1:24:36

No, no, I did that because that's what everybody in the comments did.

SPEAKER_13 1:24:38

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_14 1:24:39

Everyone's like, Tom, you're looking good. Bart, you're looking deadly.

SPEAKER_13 1:24:43

I know. I love when they call him Tim. That shit's hilarious. Um, I'd love to see Bobby Lee, Theo Vaughn, Andrew Santino. Shit like that. Yeah. I'd love to go to fucking a skank fest next year. That'd be great.

SPEAKER_14 1:24:55

That'd be cool to do. What'd you think about Tom's special that came out last week? Yeah. Yeah, it was great, wasn't it? It is. It's a banger. Dude, I love it. It's a banger. Teacher. Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 1:25:07

Banger. On Netflix, right? Yep. Yeah. Came out on Christmas Eve. That's right. That's right. All pissed up and pissed off.

SPEAKER_14 1:25:14

That's right, Brian. Came out on Netflix Christmas Eve. T-shirt by Tom Seguire.

SPEAKER_13 1:25:21

Um how do you do you think? I know we don't have a big following, whatever. Um I want a t-shirt.

SPEAKER_14 1:25:31

Or something. That was also gonna be one of your Christmas gifts. Oh yeah? Yeah. I was looking into um custom ink or whatnot. But I never got a price.

SPEAKER_13 1:25:45

I've been looking into some custom pink. What is that? Uh pussy. Okay. Right. Right, right, right. Um, anyways, just gabbing. Just uh what do you used to say?

SPEAKER_14 1:26:01

Just uh coking and joking?

SPEAKER_13 1:26:07

No uh yapping your jams. No, what did uh Yapping your games what's his face used to give it? Yapping your yams. Just uh vibing. Nope, that's not it. Just uh talking unfiltered. Yeah. Uh that's it. Fuck.

SPEAKER_14 1:26:21

Okay, yeah. Glad we got that out of the way. Right.

SPEAKER_13 1:26:26

Everyone's like, what do they go to the bathroom and fucking drink so much they can't even come back and do anything? Right. No, uh almost. Do you have anything planned for 26 on I have a wedding? Yes, you do have a wedding, so that's definitely gonna be a thing. We're gonna vlog that and everything. The girls are gonna have a camera. We're gonna have a camera. That's gonna be some good editing for you. Yeah, we're I think we should tripod a camera. And just like a time lapse. That or like, I mean, even that's just us talking. Yeah. Bullshitting while we're getting dressed and shit.

SPEAKER_14 1:26:57

We need to start, we need to do this early on so we don't have to do it all at once, but we need to start getting cameras. Well, we could just do it on the phones. We need to start getting cameras because you know you're gonna want to do you're gonna want to have your phone. Right? We might have the phone we have now set up for something. Right. We're gonna want some cameras. Well, I figured what we do is um Or we just start buying a bunch of phones. I don't know.

SPEAKER_13 1:27:28

Right. No, what what I figured what we do is you know, we'll talk about it later. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I have a wedding this year. Um I do want I'm thinking about going to Colorado this summer. I think you should come with me. Yeah, I'm down to go to Colorado. I think that would be dope. Um that's close to Texas, right? Can we go to Texas too? Well, it's not close to Texas. I mean it's close enough, I guess. Uh what do you want to do in Texas?

SPEAKER_14 1:27:56

I want to go to Austin.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:57

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_14 1:27:59

Yeah. Uh this dude I've been following on um YouTube, Joshua. I don't know how to say the last name, Wiseman. Uh he's like a chef. Okay. And he's got uh he did this like uh top five or the best uh street food in the United States, and one of the places that he went to was Austin, Texas. And I guess there's like some really good street food there. Right. And uh yeah, I want to go try those places.

SPEAKER_13 1:28:32

Okay. I mean, yeah, I want to I definitely want to do some traveling next year. Yeah, I definitely next year, whatever you want to call it.

SPEAKER_14 1:28:40

I'll be honest. Um the only traveling I really did last year outside of work stuff was to go to Mississippi.

SPEAKER_12 1:28:50

Mississippi!

SPEAKER_14 1:28:52

All right, rest in peace. That's right. Pull the plug on you, mother.

SPEAKER_13 1:28:57

All right, all right. Um Jesus Christ. Yep. That's all that's all I did. I went to I went to North Carolina. Okay. I don't think I did anything else.

SPEAKER_14 1:29:12

Oh no. North Carolina isn't really like a trip.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 1:29:19

Anything outside of 35 minutes is a trip to me. Okay, then I did a lot of trips. I went to the farm. Outside of two hours. I went to the farm a bunch. No, those don't count. If you're going to see like family and shit and like stay like somewhere you always go isn't a trip. Oh, okay. See what I'm saying? Yeah, see you next fall. I want to kill myself. Oh man, we should not have gone on a bathroom break. This is the slowest second half of an episode ever. What are you talking about? I think it's lit. Um, yeah, I don't know. I'm gonna play this next clip for you.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:01

This is the one.

SPEAKER_16 1:30:23

Oh, I think I'm going to surprise my wife today and talk about it.

SPEAKER_10 1:30:30

I know I don't like it.

SPEAKER_14 1:30:49

That's not a beer. Yeah, it's not a beer.

SPEAKER_13 1:31:00

I don't like the music with it. Oh god! Oh, he regretted that shit immediately. She said no. What, you don't like the mustache?

SPEAKER_05 1:31:17

She looks like a fucking pedal.

SPEAKER_13 1:31:21

Bro, all that proves is that beards are makeup for guys. Yeah. I could imagine shaving my beard. How would I look? Dude, I would do it. No. Just kidding. No. JK.

SPEAKER_14 1:31:34

Bro, uh so like at work. I can only have a four-inch beard.

SPEAKER_13 1:31:40

Right.

SPEAKER_14 1:31:42

That's that long.

SPEAKER_13 1:31:44

Right. You got like an eight-inch.

SPEAKER_14 1:31:50

Twelve. Okay. Maybe 15. Right. On a good day. But uh so I keep it tucked in my shirt, and you know, the collar keeps it right there at four inches. So like that's how I'm seen all the time. And I have multiple people always come up to me that know that I have a long beard. Right. I I I get I get one or the other. I get holy shit, dude. Did you cut your beard? I say that to you all the time. Right. And I go, pull it out. I'm like, no.

SPEAKER_13 1:32:21

Right. Never. I do that shit at least once a month. Right.

SPEAKER_14 1:32:24

Bro, you cut your fucking beard, you're like, Right. And then I get the opposite where like I had a uh girl come up to me at work the other day, and she was like, Are you coming to the Christmas party? And I was like, um, yeah, I'll be there. Blah, blah, blah. You know. And we got to talk and I was like, yeah, I'm, you know, debating on bringing my beard out or not. She's like, what? And I was like, pull my beard out. She's like, oh my God, I never knew you had that much packing. And I was like, Yeah. You go holler at her? I don't know, man.

SPEAKER_13 1:33:00

You don't put yourself out there enough. Yeah, I know. Um, she's definitely awesome. Yeah, we got 200 TikTok followers now. You could probably get some submissions now. Shit. There's some hot ones up there for sure. Yeah. I mean, I've I've seen a couple of one because I'm in charge of the TikTok, so I make sure to follow some hot, hot women.

SPEAKER_14 1:33:21

Right, right. I've noticed that. No, you didn't notice shit. I but uh old dry snitching ass. I didn't say anything. You're saying more than I did. All right, shut the fuck up. No, just kidding. But uh, yeah, no, she's she's cool. Uh I don't really like talking to her. What's her name? I'm not gonna say her name. But uh I don't really know too much about her, but she's she's cool. Yeah, um, she's in a different shop than I am. Okay, but uh yeah, and then uh so yeah, but I also get that. I get like people have no idea that I've have so much beard tucked away.

SPEAKER_13 1:33:59

Right.

SPEAKER_14 1:34:00

And when I whip it out, they're like, what the fuck? Right. So I haven't seen my chin since July 28th, 2017.

SPEAKER_09 1:34:14

Shit.

SPEAKER_13 1:34:15

Uh when you met me, did I already have a beard? I don't know. Hell yeah. I think I've had a beard for let me see.

SPEAKER_14 1:34:27

You look unrecognizable in your pictures that you show me when you don't have a beard. I'm like, that's not you. It's been 11 years. Okay. Uh mine has been 17 so nine years coming up.

SPEAKER_13 1:34:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 1:34:40

Something like that.

SPEAKER_13 1:34:42

I had a friend be like, you should grow your beard out, a girl. Uh-huh. You should grow your beard out. And I'm like, if a girl tells you that, I mean, you can at least try it. And then I did, and I was like, I'm looking really fucking good with a beer. This is a long time ago. Right. Yeah, if I shaved my shit, I would yeah, definitely unrecognizable for sure. Do you use any products in your beard? Uh uh yeah. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_14 1:35:07

Okay. Any particular ones that may or may or may not want to uh I'll say this.

SPEAKER_13 1:35:15

I'm open to trying different products.

SPEAKER_14 1:35:18

I'm open to trying different products too. I don't really have that many products that I use. Um, but I feel like I need some.

SPEAKER_13 1:35:26

Yeah. Yeah. I um I use a wash, I use a conditioner, I have uh beard butter, I just got I got some oil, I got some beard balm. Oh yeah. I mean, so for me it's like um I do the wash and conditioner every shower, every day, no matter what. Right. Uh let the conditioner sit in. I do want some like uh I've been trying to find a uh leave-in conditioner. Okay. Because I think that makes it look look more fluffy. Right. Um, but like the oil and stuff like that, I don't use every day. It's if I'm going to do something. If I'm going to like uh out to dinner, you know, nice dinner, going out to the club, which I don't do that anymore. But like if I'm going out somewhere and not fucking the bank though, because they fucking smell like fucking old tobacco and shit. And I'm not I don't even put cologne on to go there because it's so fucking dumb. I damn near want to throw my I know I'm getting amped up right now. You are that shit makes me want to throw my fucking clothes away, old smoke ass fucking place. Dude, and that that's what I always gotta be illegal.

SPEAKER_14 1:36:29

That's what I hated about going to that place was um something about that the smoke room at the bank was just too smoky.

SPEAKER_13 1:36:37

Yeah, dude, even if nobody's smoking in there, it still smells like smoke. And then you got fucking white women screaming about their ex cheating on them. You know what I mean? Just scratch.

SPEAKER_12 1:36:46

I dug my keys into the side of his pretty little soup. The four-wheel drive loud.

SPEAKER_13 1:36:54

And it's like, we get it, bitch. You got cheated on. Okay, move on.

SPEAKER_12 1:36:59

Come on to his leather.

SPEAKER_13 1:37:03

That's pretty good. That was a pretty good white woman in the blue.

SPEAKER_12 1:37:10

Smash the all right, smash the hole in all four tires. Maybe this time I think before he checked He won't.

SPEAKER_14 1:37:24

Yeah, no, he's still gonna do that on you Hope. Yeah. Um yeah. Uh great times at the bank.

SPEAKER_13 1:37:32

Yeah, but I mean, I I've been looking for, I'll tell you what I've been looking for more. Ball head stuff. Yeah. Like um uh uh uh uh moisturizer. That but uh but mostly I'm looking for like a scrub like a um some little lather. Like a um, I can't think fucking think of what it's called. Scrub daddy. No, that's a fucking sponge. It's the fucking um I can't think of what the fucking name of it is, but you um so it opens up your pores. An exfoliator. Exfoliator, yes. That that's what I want really bad. I have this girl that I follow on um Instagram that shaves her head, and she's uses a lot of products, and her I love watching her videos. It don't show nothing else, like it she's in the shower literally shaving her, it's just the back of her head, but her head is so fucking nice. Like her shaving that shit, like I I love watching it, and I love watching her put the products in, and I'm like, I need some of those because the my shit breaks out really bad sometimes. Right, sometimes it doesn't, sometimes it's really fucking bad. I can clean the fucking shit out of the razor, I can fucking uh uh exfoliate beforehand and afterwards, but sometimes that shit doesn't work.

SPEAKER_14 1:38:49

Yeah. No, dude, sometimes my head breaks out really bad. Um sometimes in like it almost looks like a rash almost. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Almost like a razor burn. Right, but it's not razor burn. No. So uh I actually talked to my doc and uh got something for um like my nose. Because I was getting like, I think for my goggles at work, I was getting like some redness.

SPEAKER_13 1:39:16

Did you call it your nose?

SPEAKER_14 1:39:17

Did you say your nose? My nose? Are you saying nose? Nose. Thank you. That's not how you were saying it. My nose.

SPEAKER_09 1:39:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_14 1:39:29

My nose? No, it's fine. My nose. I hate you. I'm saying I'm saying it the same way.

SPEAKER_13 1:39:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 1:39:36

So I called the daughter for something about my nose. Right. And uh I started, I was like, eh, fuck it, might as well use it on my head where that spot is. Right. Went away. Yeah. That's a soft. Yeah, dude. So uh I got some extra bottles of it.

SPEAKER_13 1:39:57

If you want some. No, I don't really. Have like the rash type thing going on. It's literally like I have bumps from like almost like if I like you remember back in the day when you used to shave, yeah, and you would have like a zit and you would just shave over it, and I would cut it. Yeah, it'd be like that, but all over my head, but it's not zits. Right. Like there's no white heads or anything like that. It's just uh you need to expand. I mean, I just break out. Almost got up and left. Why? Because I said that shit. I said I'm looking for a good exfoliate. I hate it. I hate it. This sounds like a girl episode now, because we're talking about makeup and shit. You put makeup on over there.

SPEAKER_14 1:40:36

Bro, you probably just need exfoliate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's not hard to find a good exfoliator. You just gotta Google Walmart and be like, exfoliate. Walmart.

SPEAKER_13 1:40:46

Yeah. Yeah. Target. Target has a nice little section. Let me stop. Let's get off the office health and tell me about Target's nice little section. No. How's your uh how's your weight loss going? It's not going anywhere. Tell me about Target's nice little section. Uh I've been trying to lose weight again. I have not gone to the gym. Same. And I want to, I keep telling myself every I'm gonna go to the gym next week. And I enjoy the gym, but it's just I'm lazy right now.

SPEAKER_14 1:41:19

I feel like shit. Believe it or not, I actually enjoy going to the gym too. I enjoy getting the heart rate up when it's not doing something like putting on my shoes. Right. Um that's just from holding your breath.

SPEAKER_13 1:41:32

I get the same way.

SPEAKER_14 1:41:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:41:35

It's like, why am I holding my breath when I do that? Right.

SPEAKER_14 1:41:39

Um because you try to suck your stomach in to fucking get down there. I do the same shit. But like, um, no, like, believe it or not, I actually do enjoy getting my heart rate up and getting things done. But like, my thing is getting the motivation to start. Like, once I start it, I'm pretty good at like continuing it.

SPEAKER_13 1:41:58

Yeah. I I'm doing good on the diet aspect of it. I cut the sugars out, I cut the chips out, and I'll do like once a week where I'm like, like I mean, you saw me earlier, I owe ate uh oatmeal cookie. Normally I'd eat 17 oatmeal cookies, but I ate one, gave you the other one, and like move on. I'm doing good with the you know, the food during the day and everything.

SPEAKER_14 1:42:17

It's just yeah, another thing too, um I was doing so like this weekend has definitely been a cheat, but uh for two weeks I went with no DoorDash, zero DoorDash orders. Hell yeah. I didn't do any weekly drinking, and I cooked all of my meals. So we should do a cooking episode. No, I no, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_13 1:42:42

You can do a cooking episode. We can. We can do a cooking episode, dude. You can do it. Let's both do one. You can do it. Uh maybe. I hate to do the whole thing where it's like pushing it off, but maybe we should do a challenge with each other. Like we were gonna do before. Maybe something to motivate us a little bit. I don't know, man. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. I I'm That means no, ladies and gentlemen.

SPEAKER_14 1:43:10

I'm down to put on the table, but I got a lot more to lose just to get equal with you. No, no, we do off of most loss.

SPEAKER_13 1:43:17

Right. Okay. You know, not like I'm down to 260 and whatever else. Right. You weren't recording the whole time? No, I was. No. Don't worry about it. Right. Don't worry about what you got going on over there.

SPEAKER_14 1:43:33

Uh anything else going on? Not really, dude. Um I feel like uh life just be life, dude. And like you You get in this routine and so many days pass by, especially like when you have a day like I had yesterday. We're gonna do a fucking thing, dude. And like that just becomes a norm.

SPEAKER_13 1:44:00

And it's also that shit puts you in some kind of a depression. I mean, yesterday I definitely messaged you to come over to the house. Yeah. And I didn't know if you ignored it or if you didn't see it. Either way, it's fine.

SPEAKER_14 1:44:12

Halfway. I I was in the right mind space for it.

SPEAKER_13 1:44:15

Yeah. Dude, I was bored as fuck last night. Yeah, like I was literally like walking around the house, like, where the fuck can I go right now? And like I'm not really big on going out anymore. Right. So I'm like, I didn't want to go out and do what, drink a Red Bull? Because I don't drink when I go out anymore. Right.

SPEAKER_14 1:44:31

Like yesterday, like I definitely did want to come over, but I also like just knew like I was in the right headspace and that I just needed to like sulk. Yeah. So that's where that was. And that was it's shitty. I hate it when I get like that.

SPEAKER_13 1:44:46

But like, I don't know. I have been very lucky this year that I haven't sunk into it yet. I almost did. Last week was a struggle. Last week, and it's nothing like Christmas is fine, you know, all that shit's fine. It's just it's kind of one of those things where I'm just like, but then like I dug myself out of it and I'm alright. Usually in a pretty good mood, but that fucking depression don't sneak up on you. I know people don't want to talk about that shit, but depression don't sneak up on you. You be sitting there like, why do I feel like this? And then you can't pinpoint what it is, and then you just keep getting deeper and deeper in that shit. That's why like I hate that you live this far away. Right. Because it's hard for me to be like, hey, let's just link up, go do something. Right. Like we used to do. You know, we were doing the Buffalo Wild Wings on Thursdays. Now Xavier has practice on Thursdays, so I can't do that. We were watching NASCAR, NASCAR's over on Sundays. Yep. So it's like and it's always like that where we do something and then it's like something puts a bump in the road, and then and then we kind of just don't get back to it. Yeah. This is the only thing that we've like it's almost like a I don't want to call it a job, but it definitely is a second job, but it's not that like where I'm like I don't feel like I have to do it.

SPEAKER_14 1:46:02

Right. For you it's not. You don't do the editing and whatnot. Oh, you don't have to do the editing and whatnot. You know, all the clips.

SPEAKER_13 1:46:09

And I help with the clips. Yeah, I know. You just suck my dick on that. No, I d I don't do the editing because you said you enjoyed doing that. Yeah, no, it's cool. Just like I enjoy doing all the fucking social media stuff. You don't do any of the social media stuff. Yeah, no. And when I asked you to, balances out, you was like, no, thank you. You was like, you got that.

SPEAKER_14 1:46:31

Yeah. I I I like that we got our our uh shit balanced out until we get an intern.

SPEAKER_13 1:46:37

Yeah, Xavier. He would just fuck everything up. Not saying he's a fuck up, but he'd find a way. Yeah, he'd find a way. Right.

unknown 1:46:46

Right.

SPEAKER_13 1:46:48

These two fat old dudes podcasts out now. Listen. Yeah. Have you thought about editing other podcasts?

SPEAKER_14 1:46:57

Yeah, I mean, I have the time for it and I enjoy doing it. So I mean I'd be open to it.

SPEAKER_13 1:47:05

Right.

SPEAKER_14 1:47:05

Yeah.

unknown 1:47:07

Oh.

SPEAKER_14 1:47:09

I don't really know that much like I don't have super skill sets, but I think I could easily and quickly learn with as much as I have already. So uh I definitely think that like uh editing I found my niche. I know I've said niche a lot in this episode.

SPEAKER_13 1:47:28

That's the name of this episode.

SPEAKER_14 1:47:29

Um The New Year's niche. The New Year's Ooh, I like that. The New Year's niche. I say niche though. Niche? Yeah, because it sounds like bitch. Jesus. But uh I definitely feel like I found my element when it comes to like something that I enjoy really well. Don't worry about me. He was over there dancing. Don't worry about me. Um seen those moves before? Yeah, I know. Last time I was just walking the fuck away.

SPEAKER_13 1:47:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 1:47:56

Um, but no, I definitely found my element when it comes to like uh something that I enjoy and that's editing videos and whatnot. Right. And uh yeah, I enjoy it. I enjoy doing the thumbnails, all the fucking all of it. Yeah. I enjoy my aspect of it.

SPEAKER_13 1:48:11

Yeah, showing up, showing out. Showing up and talking shit. My favorite thing to do. Alright, let's uh got a quote? I don't. You got a quote. Yeah. I do. You wasn't ready for that, were you? Give me the quote. Life's like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. For scum. Time hands. Love y'all. Happy New Year!

SPEAKER_08 1:48:48

Well, we've been rambling, sharing our minds, talking about nothing, and all we can find. Winston and bright, they're keeping it real. Just too good old voice with plenty to spill. Same old voice it's a plenty too hot. It's just tough, until too free. Get down the road. They've got the bank, they've got the chalk. A little bit of mistress, but no one gets on From the kitchen table to the open if they'll just bring. Cause they just don't fit. They're too the last, it's the fun. Say goodbye, it's just too dust. I feel too free. Don't put it on, it's just on the gold. Oh, stop it, don't do it. They've got the lantern, they've got the chalk. A little bit of mischief, but no one gets home. From the kitchen table to the open air. They'll do the free. Cause they just don't care. So they're to the last, next to the fun, just say goodbye, it's just to it up. Just talk to. What are they doing in that? It's just talking those filter.