Just Talking Unfiltered

Snowmageddon, Donuts, And Bad Decisions

Winston and Brian Episode 16

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Cold Open And Unfiltered Banter

SPEAKER_05

Welcome back to Just Talking Unfiltered. Today we have a wild story for you. Absolutely wild. You won't believe this.

SPEAKER_10

What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of Just Talking Unfiltered. My name's Winston. I'm Brian. Hell fucking yes. Yeah. What is up, brother?

SPEAKER_02

Insanity every fucking time.

SPEAKER_10

Insanity every time. You gotta start the you gotta start a show uh on this caliber with some enthusiasm. What if you're tired? You gotta fucking fight through the shit. Or you just be like You don't remember? We're actors now.

SPEAKER_08

Welcome everybody. So just soaking unfiltered.

SPEAKER_09

Cut my life into pieces.

SPEAKER_02

It's like a 1-900. You ever call those? A 1-900?

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_02

Do you know what that is? You're that young? You'd be like 1-900 sexy tits. Oh yeah. Which is wild because like I always thought it was 1-800. I guess it's 1-900. You think it still works? We can call. Right. I like dick in my mouth. What? That's what the recording would say. Jesus Christ. He's like, really? Open up.

SPEAKER_10

Dude, uh, we should do that on an episode. Just call one and just have that's not happening. Why not?

SPEAKER_02

Be like. Dog, I'm not. No.

SPEAKER_10

We could interview what are you saying? We could interview him.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, you're talking about calling the number.

SPEAKER_10

What did you think I meant? I don't know. You were asking, hey, big boy. And then you're like, we should try that one time on the podcast.

SPEAKER_02

No, I said we should call we should call them one time on the podcast. We should call 911 on the podcast and interview them. Y'all still out there killing people? Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_10

At least the firefighters are good though. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Like the firefighters, like well, the dispatch people are probably fine too. Yeah.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Like 911 was your emergency. Hey, how you doing? Uh you're on a podcast. Um link. Cops would show up here. Mad as hell. Right. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down. Cop a squat. We got you some donuts. Oh. You think that's real? That cops like donuts? Yeah.

Cops, Donuts, And Urban Legends

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, it actually goes back to um. You're about to lie. No, I'm not. Why do you know this? I just know things. It goes back to the early days of uh coppetry and back in the cities and everything. The cops just needed something quick on the go, and there wasn't really fast food restaurants like there are now. You couldn't just like go into a store and get a meal. But what they did have, they had hot, fresh donuts and coffee. And so those were very popular back in the early 20s and everything, and they just kind of grew from there. But then you got fast food and everything, so you know it's easier for cops on patrol to get their meals now. But back in the day, it wasn't a thing.

SPEAKER_02

How do you think they got the name pigs?

SPEAKER_10

Hmm. I don't know. You tell me the history lesson.

SPEAKER_02

No, I don't know. I'll just make up something.

SPEAKER_10

Okay, so I actually know. So actually, this actually came back in the 1910s. And um No. You're making shit up. I'm really not.

SPEAKER_02

I'm about to fact check. Go ahead. Go ahead. Tell me what it is first.

SPEAKER_10

No, go ahead and fact check. Tell me. No, you fact check me first, and I'll tell you if the internet's right.

SPEAKER_02

No. No, you're not gonna trick me into fucking giving you the answer.

SPEAKER_10

Oh man. Would you be a cop? Um, I thought about it when I was like 10. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Do you want to be the cop or the robber? Right. I I I thought about being a cop. Yeah? Yeah. Uh we should maybe chilling in cars and shit. I mean. Getting getting some head, getting, getting some head. I don't know about that. They do. Yeah, remember the one cop that got caught? He uh tried to have sex with a girl in the back seat and closed the door and got locked in that bitch.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, dude. Ugh, that's crazy. That's fucking insane, dude. Like, how do you explain that?

SPEAKER_02

He couldn't. Exactly. He's like, yeah, what happened is she was wilding out, and then I went over there and I opened the door and I reached in and it just closed behind me. I don't know what happened. What about your dick in her? Why were your pants down? They fell down because I was thinking about peeing back here. I don't know how y'all feel about that. And they're like, we don't. Right. So that was a whole thing.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah. Um fuck. I was going somewhere with this. With what? The cop thing.

SPEAKER_02

Being a cop?

SPEAKER_10

Uh no, no, no. I was gonna fuck. I do like donuts. What's your favorite kind of donut?

SPEAKER_02

Boston cream.

unknown

Oh.

Martial Arts Memories And School PE

SPEAKER_02

Alright, we'll get back to that. Let's let's play a clip. Alright. We'll get back to that. Uh let me see. Uh, this is me and you, right? This is me and you if we were in um a karate competition.

SPEAKER_00

Oh power baby, martial arts ninja warrior, course. Up next, Alexander Carlos. Let's see how fast he goes on the course. Dodges a pad. Here we go. Next station. Front kick. Self-defense.

SPEAKER_10

So funny. Steven's to go.

SPEAKER_00

Next up. Is Steve? Is it some self-defense on Steve? Here we go. Moving on to the next station. Front row. A great test of speed and do it.

SPEAKER_12

Front row.

SPEAKER_00

And here we go. One last obstacle. 36 seconds is his final test.

SPEAKER_02

Dude just sat in that seat.

SPEAKER_05

Yo, it's Winston and running the unfiltered group. Fat minute legends with a bitch for you. Exercise laps, no filter, no cap for drink, take a speaker We just talkin' rap. Winston in the corner with the whiskey in its fist, running yelling loud. Every time it gets pissed, weird stones thick, take a smoking bird's kid. Stuff kidding, grab your own star. We ain't poly. Welcome to the show. It's a bar fight tonight. Just talking guns, but the no rules, coach tank. Two fat boys taking over the game. Texas T, Texas beats, grab a mic and ignite. It's wins in the body, keep it raw, keep it tight. Just talking to the no rules, coach tank. Two fat boys taking over the game. Texas T, Texas Pete, grab a mic and ignite. It's wins in the body, keep it raw, keep it tight. Ryan got the volume of a megaphone riot. Winston got the boots, but his liver stay quiet. Topics jump wild like a bull in the shoe. From brisket to politics, no subjects move.

unknown

Barbecue stains on a microphone grip.

SPEAKER_10

Bro, that's us. Bro, I think that was Steven Seagal. No, that wasn't him.

SPEAKER_02

Look like him though. That was the laziest karate ever. He was like. Have you ever seen somebody was holding the boards real fucking tight? You ever done like saquan or karate or anything?

SPEAKER_10

Um, so actually I did some Brazilian jiu-jitsu. I did some Brazilian Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Sure. And um don't know what that is. It was jujitsu. What's a jiu-zu? Yeah, some jujitsu. Um, so anyway. Um Brazilian jiu-jitsu bait dates back to um don't need the history lesson, just need to know if you did it or not. The 800s. And it actually didn't start in Brazil. Started in Venezuela.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, I can't wait till somebody fact texts you and they're like this dude's a fucking idiot. He just says shit.

SPEAKER_10

So anyway, yeah, I did Brazilian Jiu Jitsu uh in PE at my at the private Christian school that I went to in like the sixth grade.

SPEAKER_02

They just wanted to see y'all laying on y'all's backs.

SPEAKER_10

Dude. Dude, um, one thing that stuck with me out of that entire class and it blows my fucking mind. Right. The the dude, so first of all, the dude that was teaching us was the principal.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

Winter Weather Hype And Work In The Cold

SPEAKER_10

And the principal was a National Guardsman that like served in Iraq and shit like that. And um he was a real short guy and just talk really fast. He's like, anytime you hit the ground, you gotta get your energy somewhere or else you're gonna break a bone. He's like, so anytime you land on your back, you throw your arm out and you slap the ground. So when you slap the ground, you transfer all that energy through your hand and you won't get hurt. How much did y'all laugh in this class? We didn't. We thought it was serious. We thought we were we thought it was serious at the time. You know, it wasn't long after 9-11. What does that have to do with anything? We thought it was legit shit. We thought maybe we'd have to use that shit someday. Get blown in the air from a bomb or something and have to slam down so we wouldn't get hurt.

SPEAKER_02

I don't think that would work. I'm gonna be honest with you, Playboy. It doesn't. I've tried it. Every time I fall, I slap the ground. I broke my ankle. Right. I took uh taekwondo. Oh yeah? Did you? Yeah, I had to learn Korean. Oh that was cool. Can you give us some? No. I don't know any. I lost all of it. Uh yeah. We only did numbers. You know what they say.

SPEAKER_10

You don't use it, you lose it. If you don't use it, you lose it. Right. So I need to have some sex soon. You're about to lose what? I'm losing my dick over here.

SPEAKER_02

That shit falling off little by little. Right. Um, yeah, I took taekwondo. That shit was dope. Oh yeah. He used to call me Brian Palmer. He would never call me farmer, he called me Palmer. And I was like, that's not me. He'd call me like four times. I'm like, me? You just thought you were stupid.

SPEAKER_08

Brian! I was like, hey, I'm coming.

SPEAKER_02

And then um, I would do my thing. One time I did a flying headbutt to break the fucking board. Jumped out like a like a seal or something. Yeah, yeah, it was fun as fuck. Oh yeah. Thought I was the man.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, uh, in PE we didn't get to break boards or anything.

SPEAKER_02

Right. Um just laid on your back of a whole bunch and slap the ground. Yeah, we did like we we wrestled. That's not jujitsu. Jujitsu.

SPEAKER_10

Jujitsu Jujitsu is got some like ground fighting tactics.

SPEAKER_02

I thought it was just on the ground on your back the entire time.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, well. Moving on. I don't remember everything. I told you the only thing that took away from that class was if you fall on your back, you gotta slap the ground when you land. Right. Oh, yeah. Welcome to Snowmageddon. That's right. Snowmagedin. Yeah. You think it's gonna snow? I think we're gonna get some snow. I really do. Uh last weekend when we thought we were gonna get some. Dude, I looked out of my window at three o'clock in the morning. I was like, Oh yeah, we got a fuck ton of snow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I went back to bed and woke up at fucking seven o'clock and I opened up the window, it was just raining and snow.

SPEAKER_02

It just looked like it rained outside the whole time. I was like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

I was the same way. I had to like go back and look at my cameras to see if like that, if that was real. Right. I was like, did I dream that?

SPEAKER_02

Right. I know I was like, yeah, I'm gonna drive the truck, and it was like, no, you're not. I mean, I just still drove the truck, but it was like in the rain. Dude, we should build an igloo. I don't like going outside when it's raining. I've been snowing. I don't like going outside when it's raining either. You drowned. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of wet. Wet. Unless I'm drowning to some pussy, you know what I'm saying? Here's my thing. How come anytime somebody wants to make small talk with you? How about that weather? Right.

SPEAKER_10

It's always about the weather. Yeah, dude. Uh I was taking some trash out like an hour ago. Right. And um happy birthday was came in behind me. Oh, okay. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. And uh he said, uh cleared his throat like that. No, no, no. I was getting character. Okay. Hey man, you didn't you need to stay safe out there. You know, we got this, we gonna get some snow. I said, Yeah, I think we're gonna get some this time, actually. He's like, Yeah, man, God bless. You know, you know, be be safe. He said, Ah, you get that drug, you're gonna be all right. Right. I said, Yeah, man. He's like, have a blessed day. You too, bro.

SPEAKER_02

I uh I was at the volleyball tournament last weekend, and people be like, seen the weather? It's cold, like it's about the snow. Yeah. Hell yeah. I don't be giving a fuck. Only something I care about the weather is when I'm at work.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, dude. Uh I I'll I'll be straight up honest. Work has been miserable the last week. I work outside.

SPEAKER_02

I work kinda outside.

SPEAKER_10

You're in a cab and I know you don't have heat directly. I have heat, baby. What are you talking about? Oh, you have heat.

SPEAKER_02

I thought you said you had a heating blanket. You almost made me say it. You almost uh I have heat and a heated blanket, baby. Oh, okay. I'm doubling up.

SPEAKER_10

See, I thought I was like, okay, yeah, yours is sort of like mine, I guess, because you don't have heat, but you have a heat.

SPEAKER_02

I got a draft in my door and it it gets cold as fuck. I'll be honest, my my fingers be fucking frozen most days. Because the wind's just fucking blowing on my fingers.

SPEAKER_10

Right.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

Mine are too when I'm outside. Guess what? You chose that job. You know what? That's not what we're here for. We're here to bitch. All right. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

So um Yeah, fuck your job, dog.

SPEAKER_10

Right, yeah. You know what I'm saying? I love my job. Thank you, job. Um But also, suck on a dick. But also, we got some heat. Dude. Do you also not have heat? No, so my shop doesn't have heat, and uh they it was so cold the other night. The overnight shift was trying to wash a plane, and the water, like they pulled the bird inside the hangar to wash.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_10

And inside the hangar, it was so cold that the water that they sprayed on the bird started freezing. Oh, yeah. And they were like, Hey, can we turn the heat on in the hangar? Because like the hangar bay itself has a heater.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_10

And they're like, Yeah, no, fire suppression system is down, so we're not gonna risk it for the biscuit.

Fast Food, Teen Workers, And Errands

SPEAKER_02

Your job's insane, dude. Where I'll be like, oh, we're in the shop, I'll be in my truck, let me know when you need me. The heat will be on.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah. Um, y'all should all bring heaters. No, we we can't. So this one guy brought in a uh a space heater that it kind of resembles our little light right here. Right. So the heating elements up top. And we plugged it in, and then we were it kept blowing breakers. So, like somebody's computer that they were working on shut down. The microwave and the coffee maker shut down. We were like, all right, so we spent like an hour trying to figure it out. We were like, okay, were you running the coffee maker?

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

Were you microwaving anything?

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

All right, so we can't have those on with the heater. So let's try it again with nothing.

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_10

And then somebody was like, somebody's like, I'm gonna try microwaving something real quick. And so then they try it and it blew. All right, so we can't use anything.

SPEAKER_12

Right.

SPEAKER_10

Then it got to the point where, like, after that, the heater itself with nothing else on was blowing the breakers. So we're like, okay, well, let's plug it in on this side of the wall. And so we plugged it in on the other side of the wall, and it blew a different fucking circuit. So eventually we found a plug that we could use.

SPEAKER_02

So you have heat.

SPEAKER_10

A small space heater. Y'all are all cuddled around it. Dude, give me some. The thing is, it's like up there by the supervisor's table, sort of like this, where they issue out tools and shit. Right. So it's like not even like where we sit.

SPEAKER_02

Well, sometimes what I'll do is I'll put my jacket over my hand and put my hand up to the heater.

SPEAKER_10

Oh. So nice. Yeah. I I layer up pretty fucking good at work. Like, to the point where like as a big man, it's already hard for me to move. But when I get to work and I'm all layered up, I yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Like stiff as shit.

SPEAKER_10

Dude, like putting chains on the planes, if I have to like reach down on the ground, I can't.

SPEAKER_02

Because of the layers?

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, it restricts my movement.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_10

And I'm fat.

SPEAKER_02

Right. I was about to say, did you reach down and touch it before? Yeah. Not doing that. I'm layered up there like it's summer. Can't reach it.

SPEAKER_10

We had this one dude. You know him. I'm not gonna say his name. But um, he likes wearing hoodies year round. And one time he was on day shift and it was- smelling like onions. No, he never had a smell. But for his safety, one day when it was 100 degrees out and he was on the flight line in a hoodie in the sun, I was like, hey, go inside and take off that fucking hoodie. He was like, bro, I'm I'm comfortable. I feel good, it's not hot. I was like, you're lying. No, he's probably fine.

SPEAKER_02

Bro, and fucking desert, when he the fucking Muslims just wear fucking long sleeves and dresses all day. But they're thin. Bro.

Gym Talk, Diet Slips, And GLP Meds

SPEAKER_10

Dude, when he came back out, his shirt was soaked. Bro, he was probably fucking. I didn't want the dude to pass out. He was probably fine. Didn't want the dude to pass out. It's not your job.

SPEAKER_02

Uh, kind of. Or you guys said, go take your hoodie off out and be like, no. Suck my dick. And we would have moved on throughout the day. With me wearing my hoodie. Also, I'm too fat to wear a hoodie all day. I barely want to wear a shirt all day. Did I wear a hoodie in this cold? By the time that I'm on the way back when the sun's out, hoodie's off. Every day. Yeah. The upstairs neighbor is fucking walking around.

SPEAKER_10

I know. You gotta tell them to sit. We need to put a little uh have a light that goes into their bedroom or whatever room that is up there and be like on air. Right. Or just have it in the whole front of the building.

SPEAKER_02

So people they even come to there, they're like, oh shit, somebody's recording.

SPEAKER_10

Right. They wouldn't care, they probably start shooting.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Over here. Over here, probably.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Let's go back to them donuts, dog.

SPEAKER_10

Oh yeah. So I gotta say, I tried something here a while back a few weeks ago that I've never had before. Plus C. A French Crueler. Okay. Do you know what that is? Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

It's a it's the circle donut, uh, because it's got all the ridges in it.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, but do you know why it's different? It's got the ridges in it. That's one thing. But there's an ingredient thing with it. It's got eggs. Eggs.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. The French love eggs.

SPEAKER_10

Wee wee. We do too. Wee wee too.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

Um, so that was really good. And then um dog, one thing that we have around here that I would like to go to for donuts more, if they were duck donuts? Yes. I do it all the time. Yeah. You know what? I think the closest one to me is over by the outlets. I think there's one over there. Maybe. Yeah, there is.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Yeah, but if you didn't live in the hood, you'd have more choices of stuff. Okay. Um you get the regs. The Burger Kings. Taco Bell KFC that smells like weed. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

I was actually in there the other day.

SPEAKER_02

Alright, smelled like weed.

SPEAKER_10

Actually, this time it didn't. And they actually got my order correct. So wow. Something's changing over there.

SPEAKER_02

I doubt it. Just one good person working. One good person was working.

SPEAKER_10

And I and I look, I was looking in my bag to make sure, you know, my sauces were.

SPEAKER_02

What time was it? About three. In the afternoon? Mm-hmm. Yeah. It'll be fine. Daytime. You don't want that night shift. Right. A lot of teenagers. They don't give a fuck. Yeah. You ever ask a teenager to do something? They don't give a fuck. Yeah. You'd be like, bro, you remember when you was a teenager, your mom be like, well, your dad, your dad'd be like, go inside next to my purse. Well, it was your dad, so next to my purse, go grab me. What the fuck? Go grab the keys. And you would go in there and you'd be like, there's no fucking keys anywhere here. And they'll come inside and they'll go, that's me now. Like, hey, go inside. Right next to this thing, grab this thing. He's like, all right. And I was being there looking at it. I'm like, right here. And he's like, I didn't even see it. I think I say the parent thing where I'm like, if it was a snake, it would have bit you. And then I hate myself all day.

SPEAKER_10

Right. No, uh, things weren't like that at my place growing up. Uh, we had a key rack.

SPEAKER_02

Well, not just keys, anything. No, your your dad never sent you to go find something, you couldn't find it, and then he went and found it.

SPEAKER_10

No. I was pretty. I knew where things were. Autistic. I knew where things were.

SPEAKER_02

No, you're autistic. I'm not autistic. Yeah, that's what autistic people. They're like, I did everything perfect every time. Also, probably with your dad, you probably had to, or you might get that. No, shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_10

No, the worst things was uh tools. And uh sometimes back in the day I wouldn't use some of the tools and not put them back in the right spot, or just not in the garage at all. Dog. And what's funny is because I I used to hear all the time, Winston, you use this. Where'd you where'd you have it at last? Because it's not where it needs to be, blah, blah, blah. And then I've heard over the years that I've not been there back home, um, living there. My dad is losing tools left and right. Oh, so it was him the whole time. I'm sure I know I did some of them. It was him the whole time, dog. They'd love to blame us. But uh, yeah, and so I joke him every now and then. I was like, I see, it wasn't me.

SPEAKER_02

Bro, my dad had like the craftsman's tool set, toolboxes, everything. So everything went in perfect spot, and he had everything labeled because you know, military, so he had everything labeled, and bro, I would take shit out of there. Go take that shit to my truck or wherever. Never bring it back. He'd be like, Brian, where's the whatever? And I'm like, I don't even know what that is, bro. Dude, my um I would throw stuff in the field sometimes. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_10

Just because my dad's got uh a really big barn that he keeps all of his tools and whatnot in.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

Cringe Clips, Alpha Talk, And Weird Baddies

SPEAKER_10

And it is not organized. No. No, he'll like when I go down to the farm to visit, he'll be like, if we're up by the road, he'll be like, Alright, hop in the mule and go to the barn. I need you to grab me this tool. I'm like, all right, where's it gonna be at? He's like In the barn, bitch. I told you. It might be on the shelf to the left, or it might be by the welder, or it might be in the toolbox, or it might be in the tractor.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_10

That's so sometimes I can find it pretty good, um, pretty quick. Other times Well, that's why he keeps losing shit. Well, it's not it's not organized. Yeah. But you know, he does a lot of work down there, and you know, sometimes at the end of the day, when you've been working all day, you just put the tools where the tools lay.

SPEAKER_02

Hey man, your job's not done, and so you put everything away. That's what I've learned. I'm so lazy sometimes I do not want to put shit away, and I'll be like, if I don't, it'll never find it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah. Um, that's one reason why like I finally got the motivation in me to like clean up my apartment.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_10

Like I fucking had uh a box that had fallen off the counter and was like in between the couch. And I just like stared at it for like a week straight. Right. And my fucking bedroom had like clean laundry on the floor. Oh yeah. And I was like, put it away? We're gonna fix this. Yeah, it's put away. Um I think I'm gonna go to IKEA tomorrow before the snowmageddon.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_10

And get like a little wardrobe. Okay, build that. Which which in the wardrobe? Yes, the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe. Why your voice do that? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

That shit sounded like you was a hobbit. Are you allowed to say hobbit?

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Sounds racist. I don't give a fuck. Fucking hobbit. You'd be like, oof. Shouldn't have said that. Bro, um, I think you'd be proud of me. Oh yeah? I canceled my gym membership. Oh yeah, brother. Why? Because I walked in there and I was like, hey, buddy. I need to cancel my gym membership. And he said, you know what? I can help you with that. Walk over here. And I walked over there and he handed me an iPad. And he was like, Why do you want to cancel your membership? He asked me the same question. Why do you want to cancel your membership? I looked him dead in his eyes and I said, I've reached my fitness goal. And he just looked at me and was like, You sure? And I was like, I got as big as I want to get. And he just kind of looked at me and I fucking filled out the iPad. Yeah. So cancel my gym membership.

SPEAKER_10

You were just tired of paying for something you never used.

SPEAKER_02

Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, that's exactly what it was. I 100% was tired of paying my how much ever it was.

SPEAKER_10

Dude, uh, I was actually looking and I was about to start up a gym membership to One Life. Oh yeah? Yeah. I was about to start again. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. I put in all my information, and it was like$50. Right. I was like, all right, they ain't asking about nothing else.

SPEAKER_02

I'd say it smells a lot like bourbon. It tastes like bourbon. Oh, it doesn't.

SPEAKER_10

Gotta pour a little Elijah Craig in there.

SPEAKER_02

Um sure. I mean, do you really? Yeah. Okay. Is it bourbon?

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, I haven't opened it.

SPEAKER_02

Two bourbons and one beer. Hey, um. I got this for a book. So you're gonna you gonna do it?

SPEAKER_10

I got this for uh Christmas at the Christmas party. Oh, Christmas. You're gonna go to the gym? You're gonna join One Life? I I'm trying to get my motivation and I'm trying to switch shit up. Yeah. You know, I'm trying to. It all sounds good in the brain.

SPEAKER_02

Well, that's why I canceled my membership at um Crunch. Yeah. Going back to One Life, baby. Yeah, One Life at I like I love their facilities.

SPEAKER_10

Um like the sauna and the hot sub and the pool. And depending on uh, I'm not a huge fan of the downtown Norfolk location. I just something about the setup just I'm not a huge fan of.

SPEAKER_02

Kind of gay.

SPEAKER_10

But uh I'm actually depending on the traffic and whatnot, I'm actually just as close to that one as I am the Hampton location. So depending on uh traffic and whatnot, or what the That's right, baby.

SPEAKER_02

Finally did it. Um yeah, I got the I got three of them by my house. Maybe four. Pretty close to the house. Um the a really nice one, like if we ever go on a Saturday or something, go out to fucking uh Portsmouth, hit the one on Western Branch. Really? Yeah, they got a fucking steam room, sauna.

SPEAKER_10

Dude, so here's where I am with uh the whole fitness thing, going into one life and whatnot. I know who I am as a person, and I'm gonna have to have somebody there that's gonna like give me a workout routine and just watch me do it and motivate me. You know what I'm saying? Right. Like it shouldn't be like that, but that's I know me. And they do have, from what I see, some kind of um personal trainer shits, right? But they don't disclose like the prices or whatnot. They're just like, come in for your free personal trainer session. All right, I'm not trying to get hooked into a timeshare, just let me know how much it costs and I'll make my decision.

Simulation Game Obsession

SPEAKER_02

Right. Do you feel like um I it'll probably be fine for you because you were in the military? I would hate somebody breathing down my fucking neck while I'm doing my workout. I don't think it's like that. And then and then on top of that, it's like um I would not want to go to the gym. And I'm gonna deal with fucking Frederick again. Right. Well, I mean I mean that's not that's just me though. I I mean uh last time that I went to the gym, I lost fucking 45 pounds, 47 pounds to be exact. And uh it was looking great, looking good. Dude, work got slow, right? So I couldn't pay for the gym anymore. And then I had that pumpkin pie that one day. I'm gonna tell you, man, I had that pumpkin pie because I was doing no sweets at all. Right. No sweets, high protein, low carb. I was working out three, four times a week, and I was like in there. I'd even go on like off days just to go do cardio. I was I was in it, and um, yeah, they ate that pumpkin pie, bro, and here I am. I'm only I'm like 10 pounds less than what I was when I started. Damn, dude. Well, technically I lost 10 pounds. You feel me?

SPEAKER_10

You feel me? Dude, uh, I don't know what I am right now. I know it's not favorable. I know I hate it. Right. But um one thing that I did do is, and some people call it cheating. I don't really give a fuck. I call it cheating. And I don't care because if it works lazy more than cheating. If it works, it works. And if it gets me jump started to where my body isn't hurting, to where I can like go do shit, I'll be happy. Um but the my VA doctor was like, Yeah, I can give you some Wee Govy. But you gotta do this program and do a couple classes, and so he told me that back in November.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_10

And the moment that I got to my truck from that doctor's appointment with him, I called them up so I could get on the list. You wanna know when I had that appointment?

SPEAKER_08

Uh December.

SPEAKER_10

No, dude. Three days ago. Damn. Yeah. So two months just to have an orientation. And the orientation basically was where we sat there and we listened to the the dietitian lady talk for about an hour. And there was about 12 of us in the group.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_10

And then she went around and asked each one, Are you interested in joining the program? Right. Yes, you are? Okay. Would you like to start classes? Yes. What classes would you like? I would like your earliest available class. Okay, Mr. Sesams. Uh, your classes will start on Thursday, April 30th. Damn.

SPEAKER_02

You're gonna get a jump start before then? You said what? Are you gonna get a jump start before then?

SPEAKER_10

No. I don't know. He said no. I don't know. There's a couple she she mentioned that there was a couple other programs that might be uh a little quicker to get into. Uh, I think the VA's got like this program called Telemove or something shit like that. And basically it's a virtual thing where like you send in your weight and your steps to a dietitian like every week, and you can't you guys kind of work together or some shit like that.

SPEAKER_02

You're just doing this to get the Wagovi.

SPEAKER_10

Uh I'm doing it for multiple reasons, Brian. Or you don't want to disclose the reason. Multiple reasons. The VA's not watching. Um I think um a GLP medication wouldn't definitely change my life around. Is it a wooden? Nothing.

SPEAKER_02

Uh huh.

SPEAKER_10

Nothing. Doing nothing. Doing nothing would not change my life.

Building Access Drama And Glue In The Lock

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, no, not at all. Yeah. Yeah, not at all. I mean, dog. I don't know. We've had this discussion many of a times off air. Yeah. Just gotta get motivated and get moving. Yeah, dude. I know that I know my mindset. Once I hit the fucking gym back, it's gonna be annoying to everybody. Because what are you doing? I'm in the gym. Right. I'm in the gym. What do you have to do today? Go to the gym. And I'm just eating fucking. I mean, I eat pretty. Besides my snacking, I actually eat pretty well. Yeah. Real high protein shit. And like, I don't eat any bread or any shit like that unless I'm snacking. Man, I had a Twinkie and a cookie before I even came in here.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, that fucking cappuccino Twinkie. Bro, snacks.

SPEAKER_02

Snacks on snacks on snacks. Yeah, what gets me. But like, if I go back in the gym, man, I know the workouts to do to get me back where I need to be or where I want to be. I just gotta this time I gotta fucking I gotta add in a uh I gotta add in a cheat day. So I can have that snack. Right. Because that's what fucked me up is going a year without it. Remember, I I remember it was Thanksgiving and I was like, I'm going on a diet. And you looked at me and you go, You're fucking stupid for going on a diet right before Thanksgiving. I was like, dog, I got to. Like I I felt disgusting. I was almost 300 pounds. I felt disgusting, and I was like, I want to live longer, I'm gonna change this. And I did, and then I did it. Thanksgiving rolled around a little split. It was literally literally a year later, and I was like, I could splurge a little bit. And I started fucking splurging, and that was the problem.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, dude. Um fuck Thanksgiving.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

I mean, for weight loss purposes, um, but I we got the three right there.

SPEAKER_02

Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah. Valentine's Day.

SPEAKER_02

No, that ain't just gotta do nothing.

SPEAKER_10

You said all the candy? I was an Audi day walking around. It's for bitches. But it's still candy. You out here buying fucking chocolate heart boxes for yourself. What charcolate heart boxes? Yeah. Uh yeah, yeah, I am. You can't have those because you might eat the coconut one. Yeah, you never know what you're gonna get. Life's like a box of chocolates. That is. Yeah, dude. Um, I'm just kidding. Dark. Dark? Yeah, dark chocolate.

SPEAKER_02

I like white. White's too sweet. You're a loser. You know what I really like? Toffee. Yeah, toffee's good. You ever had a score bar? I feel like we've had this discussion before. I think I bought it. Score bar. No.

unknown

Bro.

SPEAKER_02

I've never had a score bar. I'm gonna go get one after this. It's fucking toffee. Oh. So you ever had a Heath bar?

SPEAKER_10

Yeah. It's like that, but better. You ever had a thousand grand? Huh? You ever had a hundred grand?

SPEAKER_02

Uh not at one time. If you had a hundred.

SPEAKER_09

150,000. What would you do? What would you do?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, my Carolina Mike, he just has one song, though, and it's kind of like Yeah, but it's it's kind of like Hat Toss King.

SPEAKER_10

But it's no, no, no, absolutely not. Don't don't do my hang on scratch my leg real quick. Oh.

SPEAKER_02

He just came.

Wrapping Up And Future Plans

SPEAKER_10

All right, another video. No, no, no. Hold on, hold on. I'm going back to this real quick. Oh come on, man. I'm trying, dude.

SPEAKER_02

Alright, another video.

SPEAKER_10

Alright, so Carolina Mike, you can't do our boy like that. I can. You can't put him in the same category as the fucking Hat Toss King.

SPEAKER_02

I put him, Hat Toss King, Trevor, Dr. Doo, all of them in the same category. So you hate him? Huh? You hate him? No, no. I just hate fucking Hat Toss King. He's got a new video out where he's like, this is to all my haters. I'm gonna do a freestyle rap. And he was like, if you don't like me, you don't like me, and nobody likes me. And I'm like, sounds like a banger. Right. I'll put in the comments and I was like, nobody likes you. Did you do it as the as the page? Yeah. I'll be honest, I use the page's TikTok more than I use mine. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

I've seen some uh see a bitch with a big ass.

SPEAKER_02

I'd be like, Yeah, we love you. Like what's good with it? Right. It's mostly me just trying to hook you up.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, you know, I appreciate it. Yeah. Because, you know, they would probably wouldn't fucking coast me. They might. I don't know. I feel like maybe they wouldn't. Or uh have you talked to her?

SPEAKER_02

No. Message her from messenger from my phone. But I was good, a little shoddy. No. So what you do is you lose a whole bunch of weight and then just send her a picture of you, and she'd be like, oh my god, and be like, no. Or, or, hey, I got a great idea. Lead her back on, get her talking to you again, and just stop. That'd be fun.

SPEAKER_10

Oh, just ghost her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like she did maybe three times.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Alright. Let's watch a clip. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Sucks to be handsome in 2026. Reason number one. Most girls don't ever take it seriously because they think we're players. Fresh. We're players. They think we're players. We're not players. No, we're not players. I'm just fine. I corrected myself. They think we're players. Girls, ladies. I trust me, I'm not a player. We trust me. It doesn't mean that you should not even know. Yes, we're trying to stop periods. We've been trying to figure it out for the last couple months. We are working on something, but it's really hard to figure this out. Oh friend. I don't either. I'm trying to figure it out. I can't figure this out. And tampons should be free. Literally, we're tired of this freaking crap. We're girls have to actually go out to the store and buy tampons. Ladies, tampon. I'm a nice guy. Put some in his butt. I am a bad boy. French is more on the nicer side. Excuse me? You're still a bad boy. I'm a bad boy, too. Yeah, you're a bad boy. This is meaning you when nobody's looking. I can flip off the cops. No, I flip off the cops. No. Why?

SPEAKER_10

Alright, so. This dude loves anime. And he's a bad boy. You ever see like um the cringy wolf pack like mentality? Oh, I love the alpha? Yeah, he's I fucking love them. Dude, that's what this that's what this guy is. I'll protect you.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_11

I'm working to figure out how not to have a period.

SPEAKER_02

Bro, that's insane that they said we're trying to figure out how to not have a period. And also, tampon should be free.

SPEAKER_11

Right. Until we come up with a method, they should be free.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_11

Tam ones. Tampa. That was insanity. No, I can flip off the comps. No, I flip off the cops. I flip off the comps.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. To be young again. Dude, um. They're gonna look back on this in 10 years and be like, shouldn't have done that.

SPEAKER_10

No, they're probably with their mentality, they'll be like, that was the start of our massive kingdom. Right. We've built, we've only become stronger.

SPEAKER_02

That was a banger. The fucked up thing is they get girls, probably. Probably.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

The weird ones. Yeah, probably, yeah. Bro, you ever seen like a weird baddie? Yeah. I love weird baddies.

SPEAKER_11

They're probably they're probably a freak too. Yeah. Freaking the sheets.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11

Freaking the sheets. With the tampons.

SPEAKER_02

Talk to a girl. She's like, you want to see my Ouija board? I'm like, absolutely Ludley. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, I do. I don't I don't want to see the Ouija board. I don't want the I don't want Satan in here.

unknown

Bro. Oh.

SPEAKER_02

Let me tell you a Ouija board story. Oh. Right? One time when I lived up in upstate New York, right? Mm-hmm. We stayed in this like old ass fucking apartment building, like in the middle of fucking nowhere. And we got drunk. And I was like, yo. It was like, it was like uh me, two chicks, and two homeboys. So it was like five of us. I was like, hey, we should fucking make a Ouija board. And they're like, yeah, fuck it. So I like drew up a Ouija board and made the eye and shit. Okay. And then fucking we Ouija'd. It was fucking lit until the cops came because we were on. Did you flip off the cops?

SPEAKER_08

Uh I just kept yelling, yes, sir, sir, yes, sir.

SPEAKER_02

What the fuck? Yeah, because I was drunk. But we were like 20. Right. Shouldn't have had alcohol. They made us pour it all out in the tub. Damn. They left us one.

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_02

And when they closed the door, I was like, we still got one and cracked it open. And it didn't come back. But they're like, one's not gonna kill them. I was like, but that Ouija board might. Yeah, that shit was a fun night.

SPEAKER_10

That's funny. Yeah. Yeah, I've never fought with a Ouija board. I don't like I'm all down for some spooky shit.

SPEAKER_02

Are you?

SPEAKER_10

Yeah. Um, I've seen Scooby-Doo quite a handful of times. So Right. Pretty spooky. Yes.

SPEAKER_02

Might as well call it Spooky Doo. You know what I'm saying? You know what I've been wanting to watch? What? Blair Witch Project. Never saw it. I was too young, and then by the time I got older, I didn't really give a fuck. Right. You don't even know what it is, do you? He's like, who's Blair?

SPEAKER_10

In the Project of the Witches. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_10

I'm pretty sure that's when they killed all the witches? Nope. Okay. Nope, nope, nope. It was a house up in Connecticut. That was the haunting of Connecticut. Yeah. Do you feel like Connecticut is just like a central hub for ghosts? Ghosts.

SPEAKER_02

Um. Because I feel like I think the New England states are very spooky. Yeah, very ghostly. Yeah, you got uh Salem.

SPEAKER_09

Boston.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. What's spooky about Boston?

SPEAKER_10

Just wanted to say Boston. Just added in there, it's part of the states.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you got Salem, that's like witch headquarters, I guess. That's where they have the trials. Right. I don't know, dude.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, dude. Um pretty spooky in Tijuana at night. I wish um wasn't there a magic school bus episode about the witch projects or the witch trials? Um I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

Wasn't she a witch though? Miss Frizzle would have got it though. Oh yeah. I ought to made that little lizard watch. What? Wasn't there a lizard?

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, I mean there was, but why would you make it watch? Cuz, dog.

SPEAKER_02

Watch this playboy. I'll put my leg up on the bed. Okay. Oh man.

SPEAKER_10

Um where was almost? Um, fucking Miss Frizzle.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. Oh yeah. I'll do that.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah. Um you said something about uh you wana at night? You said something about you a wana at night. No, tea wana. Oh.

SPEAKER_02

I was just making a joke.

SPEAKER_10

A little laughing. Oh. A little ha ha. You don't drink tea at night? Yeah. Okay. Yep. Tea I wanna in the day.

SPEAKER_02

I beer I wan at night. Beer you wana all the time. If you could drink at work, would you?

unknown

Oh man.

SPEAKER_02

It's like, yeah, of course. Who wouldn't? Yeah, I mean Could you imagine me drinking at work? Just in the Bro, you're at a stoplight. Today I honked at somebody and also made the noise with my mouth, too. So I was like, I was fucking pissed. Yeah. Oh, dude, that's fucking dumb. Yeah. Um, I want to talk about something about you. One of your obsessions in life.

SPEAKER_10

Give me one second. I almost forgot we have an order on the way. It's a prostitute. That's right.

SPEAKER_02

I could fall asleep.

SPEAKER_10

No, uh, don't do that. Okay. We're gonna get a buzz in a few minutes. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Um, I want to talk about your obsession. What obsession? Sim. Just simulation games. Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah, I've got them all. All of them. It's fucking insane. I'm like, I called him and he's like, hey, bro, um, you want to get down in this fire simulation with me? No, he's in here with the fucking heat on. He's got a fucking firefighter hat on.

SPEAKER_10

No, I don't I don't go that fucking far, but I do love fucking simulators. Um you love fucking simulators. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um I didn't know you had one of those. Pop, pop, you know what I'm saying. Um you got a little lizard to watch. Right. Um, but no. Slurpee watch. Jesus Christ, don't bring her into this fucking shit. Slurpee everything, you fucking.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. You had that weird girl in here. She was probably making icons out with Slurpee. He's mine now.

SPEAKER_10

Jesus fucking Christ.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

Okay, anyways. That was a good time. It wasn't. I mean, not the crazy part, but like the good part. It was nice. Anyway. We'll move on. Um, but yeah, you know, um, I've got the the racy simulator there. Uh-huh. I've got flight sim stuff over there. Right. I've got a train simulator.

SPEAKER_02

All you do is just drive drive the train.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, it's really cool. I mean, you it takes skill to stop a train where it needs to be when it needs to stop. Okay. But you also had to like there's so like there's speed limits for the tracks, but then there's also like another speed limit that like like so it would be the equivalent of you're driving down the road in your truck and you your speed limit says 70. Right. But your job keeps track of all of you truck drivers, and let's say there's congestion up ahead, they may lower your speed limit down. So you've got to follow both of those speed limits. Okay. Basically, always choose the lower one. Right. Or else your train gets stopped remotely. Oh, okay. Then you gotta reset it. So that's the thing. Have you derailed? Uh, actually, yeah. Yeah, but I was just fucking around in the training detail.

SPEAKER_02

So, how fast can I go around this corner? Right.

SPEAKER_10

Um, I was driving a train that was going like 300 miles an hour, one of those bullet trains. Bullet trains, yeah, yeah. And I was also able to set up the train sim in VR, so it was like super fucking dope.

SPEAKER_12

Right.

SPEAKER_10

And I yeah. Anywho, um, I also have a ship simulator. Um driving cargo ships. It's fucking dope. And then my newest one is the firefighting simulator. Don't forget police simulator. We did have police simulator. That game was trash. No. The mechanics were off.

SPEAKER_02

Alright, what's worse? Scum. NHL. NHL is so fucking fun. Right. Until it's not.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Does Hunter play NHL?

SPEAKER_10

I don't he should. I don't think Hunter's allowed to do too much of anything. Bro, I looked on on um. Go ahead, man. I looked at my friends list and Hunter's on my Xbox friends list, and it says like last online like 500 days ago or some shit like that.

SPEAKER_02

That's over a year.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah. Um, but what you call it? Um, so out of those two scum. Oh, did I say farming simulator? I have a farming simulator too.

SPEAKER_02

Is that your favorite?

SPEAKER_10

Oh, dude, farming simulators are so cool. You can do so much shit in that game. Right. Have you seen the TikToks of like some of these dudes that like create their own business and like they're they've got their fucking lifted up dually and they back their trailer up and they're like, all right, we're going to a job site today.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

That's dope. Some people get really into that shit. I don't get that far deep into it. Well, it's hard to do when you're by yourself or not recording. Yeah. But um, yeah, I enjoy Pharmacy Later. Uh I had um what's a dog?

SPEAKER_02

That's just sound like a ghost in our fucking head.

SPEAKER_09

Emily?

SPEAKER_10

Right. Um, but no, pharmacy mulator is fucking dope, especially with like the racing wheel and shit. Um for the the rig, being able to like sit there and do everything. And I was able to get my uh my flight joystick and use it as like the hydraulics for like the front end loaders and shit. Right. I'll be there for hours, dude. I remember. I remember. Um, but out of the three games that you talked about, um scum is at the bottom. Okay, then police simulator, right, and then NHL. NHL's biggest problem is their matchmaking. And they'll put us uh a fresh growing team paired up with veterans that are like scoring their thousandth fucking goal. Yeah, yeah. And we're just out there getting demolished. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Is that why you got off the other day? Sunday night? When I was like, hey, Brock, play all night, I'm off on Monday. And he was like, it was like 8:30. He was like, I'm out. I was like, bro. He was like, I'm done.

SPEAKER_10

No, I I had to do some other shit to figure what I had to do. Probably come fight some fires or something.

SPEAKER_02

Right. Right. He's playing it, I was like, I could be fighting fires instead of losing this game.

SPEAKER_10

Hey, dude, some of those uh missions on the firefighting game, like one mission I did yesterday, I was in that mission fighting a fire for an hour and 40 minutes.

unknown

Damn.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

Because the fire spreads.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_10

You ever do any forest fires? I haven't gotten that far yet, but like the that hour and 40 minutes one, that shit was uh at a summer camp. So everything's wood.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

My DoorDash driver is not paying attention to uh my instructions.

SPEAKER_02

We need to take a break. With you doing all the simulator stuff, right? I feel like your best friend in life is AI.

SPEAKER_10

No, I actually don't use AI as much as one might think. I use it for like a lot of our graphics and shit. Right. Which maybe I didn't do this one. You actually did this one, but maybe you guys have peeped the new intro.

SPEAKER_03

Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah. Uh but uh, you know, I use it every now and then.

SPEAKER_02

I like AI.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, Alan Averson.

SPEAKER_10

What? You don't know who Alan Iverson is? The name sounds familiar. Well, you play basketball. I'm a Texas person.

SPEAKER_02

Alright. You think texting plans when somebody goes both ways? What do you mean? If I hit you up and say, hey, you want to get wings? And you say yeah. And then the next day you don't say shit to me. Are we talking about this shit? No, I'm just saying in general, if that what if that happened?

SPEAKER_10

It did happen. That's what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Texting plans should go both ways. Yeah. Um it's cool.

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_02

I wasn't I wasn't mad. I know. Yeah. Well, it's just a miscommunication because it was like you thought about going and then you didn't go. And then I see that we talked on Sunday night when we were playing the game. That's what happened. And then you were like, I gotta go to sleep. That's what happened. So if you're going to sleep at fucking 8 30, I'm figuring you're not gonna be available for wings. See what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_10

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

Um, yeah. Just means I would have woken up early. Okay. Which I didn't.

SPEAKER_02

Kinda. It was up for wings. I was up for wings. Oh.

SPEAKER_04

Monitored and recorded by Dorothy and service providers for quality.

SPEAKER_02

It's gonna break. Um That's right, Brian. We're all pissed up and ready to go. I don't know about that. Um God damn it, she's going back down first view. Bro, I got yelled at. Stop looking at it. She'll be here when she be when she gets here. We're podcasting. Um, I got yelled at while I was editing um the eclipse. Uh the eclipse? No, just the eclipse. Oh, the the just the clips. Yeah, Hannah was yelling at me. She's like, You got fucking 20 minutes. Because the one night that she didn't have to go to school because of the snow or the rain. Oh shit. Or the ice or the cold or something. So she's fucking screaming at me from downstairs. Damn. I'm used to it. Let's play a clip.

SPEAKER_05

If me and my gang.

SPEAKER_02

And he had that motherfucker eclipse.

SPEAKER_05

Can't nobody play that if you're fucking with the bag in the D cabinet.

SPEAKER_10

Bro, I called it. I called it. I said they were the part of that alpha shit.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Yeah. Bro. Oh. Bro, he had him eclipsed. Yeah, dude. I didn't know that it was back there. Yeah. And he fell over the bed.

SPEAKER_10

He did fall, didn't he?

unknown

Bro.

SPEAKER_10

That's not really alpha of him, is it? Nah, he's a beta. Dude, there is this one clip that I saw, and it's so fucking cringy. It's this, it's this grown-ass man, and the captain reads something like, Your daughter calls you and says that she needs you. Baby, I'm on the way. And he's just sitting there like driving real fast. And he keeps looking at the camera every now and then to make sure it's still recording. Right. But you can just see he's just mad.

SPEAKER_02

I love watching Facebook Lives and people keep looking at the camera.

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_02

What's up? What's up? Y'all still up there? Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

All right. Right. So I'm like a podcaster and everything now.

SPEAKER_02

So I'm just when you do when we do the podcast, do you try to not look at the camera or glance at every now and then?

SPEAKER_10

I try to glance every now and then. Oh. BRB.

SPEAKER_02

We are waiting for Winston to come back because he decided to order stuff while we're recording to help us with our next recording that we do. We're gonna be doing uh we're actually gonna be doing the story wars as long as a hunter shows up. So that's it will be pretty fire to do. Uh can't wait to be honest. Just waiting on Winnie Pooh to come back into the room. Right. No, don't know how it works. Sounded really nice. Alright, and we're back. When you breathe, it's sounds like you're gargling.

SPEAKER_10

Appreciate that, Brian.

SPEAKER_02

No problem. Just try to point things out that's obvious. That's right. You're like a fucking uh underwater sea creature. A pug. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Yeah. Short nose. You know what dog I really hate? Uh chihuahuas, you told us.

SPEAKER_10

No.

SPEAKER_02

You don't hate chihuahuas? I mean Yeah. What dog do you really hate?

SPEAKER_10

I'm not a fan of them, but when I see one, it just makes me really upset. Right. A boxer.

SPEAKER_02

Oh yeah, you do hate boxes. You can only be the only one in the building.

SPEAKER_10

Nah, those are my Bud Light days.

SPEAKER_02

Um because all of them look like they have downs.

SPEAKER_10

Probably the owner too. Huh? Probably the owner too. Right.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_10

Um. Yeah. No, that person was just super obsessed with the fucking boxers.

SPEAKER_12

How do you feel?

SPEAKER_10

I feel good. How do you feel? No, no, no.

SPEAKER_02

There was more to it. I feel great now, thank you. I've got a little buzz going. I feel like this. I like to um challenge you. I'm gonna do a food challenge. Okay, yeah. No, I'm just kidding. Um, I think that in the near future, next say six months, let's challenge each other to um try to expand on what we're doing with the podcast. And I think we should each do at least one VR comedy show.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah. Yeah. Like I said in the last episode, um, I haven't started writing my special yet. Right. Well, some to start. Right, some to start.

SPEAKER_02

So I think we should challenge each other to in the next six months that we should we should do that. Yeah. Yeah, I'm down. I think I'd be cool. Need some Adderall.

SPEAKER_10

You say you need some Adderall? Yeah. Why? So I can think of jokes. Huh? So I can think of jokes. You should be able to do that without Adderall. Bro, sometimes this brain don't be saying shit. Like I'll just be sitting there just I can tell. I can tell.

SPEAKER_02

I'm just like, what time is it? Oh wow. My brain, because I'm ADHD, it's always going. Yeah. It's always boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah. So I think I've just like killed some brain cells uh due to the lack of oxygen when I sleep. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um, speaking of that, uh we clean off of that melatonin, baby. Hey. I've switched it to um drinking. So now I drink instead of uh I told you that from the jump.

SPEAKER_10

That's what you should be doing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Also, I'm just fucking tired all the time. Dog, I'm off. I'm off till Tuesday, baby.

SPEAKER_10

Um, I started reading. Huh? I started reading for the first time? No. I mean, I I got a book. Right. Bought a book to read. How's that going? That's going really good.

SPEAKER_02

I'm on like sounds like one of the gayest things I've ever heard in my life. Bought a book to read.

SPEAKER_10

Just like your skincare routine?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Exactly like that.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah. Um, but yeah, uh, it's a really good book. I've read it before. I read it back when I was a teenager, but now that I'm an adult, I want to read it again.

SPEAKER_02

Reread books definitely has to be gay. To reread it?

SPEAKER_10

No, um Paige Turner.

SPEAKER_02

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_10

The thing is, I've forgotten so much about this book, but uh basically, so far. So the book is called Mayday.

SPEAKER_02

Are you about to tell me about the book, dude?

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, I'm about to tell you about the book.

SPEAKER_02

I don't care.

SPEAKER_10

Alright, everybody, thanks for joining in today's episode. Thanks for watching. We're glad you're fucking here. Alright, tell me about the blue angels, dog.

SPEAKER_09

No, something about the blue angels, man.

SPEAKER_10

What's the book about Winston? It's it's cool. You don't care. Just give me a little snippet. No, it's cool. You don't care.

SPEAKER_02

Oh no, I don't care about your skincare routine. Yeah, and we never went over it. You know why? Because I know nobody cares.

SPEAKER_10

I was expecting you to talk about it. Keep it to myself. This is dumb, dude. I've been actively reading this fucking book feeling motivated.

SPEAKER_02

No, good shooting. No, good shoot me down. No, it's good that you're reading, man. Oh, the horse broke its leg, better fucking shoot it in the face. Alright, no, shoot the other leg. It's got a gun wound and a broken leg. No, listen. I applaud you for reading a book. Thanks. Congrats. I read every day, dog. I'm reading right now. I'm trying to get books. I'm trying to find books that interest me. What does it do to you? What does it do for you? I'm literally asking, what does it do? So, like just entertains you? Yeah, it entertains me. I got TV for that. People be like, oh, it's Brian, stupid. Very smart. Just don't like to read. That's what autistic people say. Isn't it they are smart, you fucking idiot. They don't have to say I'm very smart. They're just like, four times four is 16.

SPEAKER_10

I thought you were about to say something, something wrong. No, no. I thought about it before.

SPEAKER_02

Four times four is eight. Right. Right. Four squared is twenty seven.

SPEAKER_10

What's the scare with a sixty nine? I don't fucking remember. Eight something. Well, that was nine. No.

SPEAKER_07

Hey Siri. Hey Siri.

SPEAKER_10

Hey Siri. What's the square root of 69?

SPEAKER_02

Eight something.

SPEAKER_07

Hey Siri.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, we don't have to keep doing that.

SPEAKER_07

Hey Siri.

SPEAKER_02

So you read a book? Dude, my Siri's fucking stupid. Yeah. Mine's been doing that too since it's been since the update.

SPEAKER_10

Hey Siri. What's the square root of 69? 3.8.

SPEAKER_02

You were wrong. You're wrong on what you just said. You just said 3.8. Yeah. So that's not what it is. It's 8.3066. God damn it, you heard it? No, I know what it is. No, no, no. You heard it say it. No. Winston, what's the one thing that I'm very good at? I don't know, sucking dick. No. No. That's you. Sleepy. I meant weepy. Damn. Um you're fucking gay, Peter. So funny that isn't it. You're fucking dumbass. Peter. Peter. Dawh, he's muscular as shit now. He might beat shit out of you. I don't give a fuck. If you got beat up. Beat the shit out of me.

SPEAKER_10

Right. No, he's a bitch, though. Yeah. He deleted us on Facebook for what?

SPEAKER_04

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_10

Just like my brother. My brother deleted me on Facebook. Which one? The movie star?

SPEAKER_09

No.

SPEAKER_10

He's cool.

SPEAKER_02

I don't think he's listened to a single episode of the podcast. Yeah, because he's a one-upper. He's like, you started a podcast? I'm doing a podcast with R. Kelly or something. He's like, it's me, R. Kelly, and P. Diddy.

SPEAKER_10

What would you even call that? Huh? What would you even call that?

SPEAKER_02

Uh Rappers P squared. So yeah, like get rid of two of the P's, so it's just rapers. Damn it. Believe it. It's my bad. Damn it. What'd you do? Why did you do? I was trying to put a mark. You said you you stopped it and then started it again?

SPEAKER_10

Yeah. No, I forgot. I have to hold up here.

unknown

Fuck it.

SPEAKER_02

Jesus Christ. Um I know that you deal with this almost every day. I know, dude. I can't get the girls off me. Um that feeling. I kinda feeling when you wake up and you look at your clock. And it's not the time you thought it was gonna be.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, dude. Like it's actually later. Oh, later.

SPEAKER_02

You're panicking.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, this doesn't happen to me every day anymore. Uh I've switched some shit up. I don't know if you noticed, but I redid the bedroom. And that has helped. And I've started going to bed earlier. Okay. But I get where you're going. But one thing that does fucking happen to me is so like, what was it, last night or the night before? I probably fell asleep around 9 30, 10 o'clock. And then I woke up at fucking one o'clock, just wide the fuck awake.

SPEAKER_12

Oh yeah. And I was like, Yeah, I hate that.

SPEAKER_10

Oh, is it time for work? And so then I just scrolled for like an hour. So I went back to sleep. No, dude.

SPEAKER_02

I you still fucking around with the TV on?

SPEAKER_10

I always sleep with the TV on.

SPEAKER_02

Insane. Um, dude, I'll wake up and like it'll be like 30 minutes after I went to sleep, and I'm like, no. Because I get so scared that I'm gonna just keep staying up, keep staying up, and then I gotta drive. Then I kill somebody or myself. Right. So I'll literally like, um, there's this new thing that I found out that you can do. When you want to fall asleep, you lay in your bed, close your eyes, and you fucking rotate your eyes. And that shit stimulates into thinking that you're going into rim and it'll help shut down your brain to help you go to sleep. What if it really worked that fast?

SPEAKER_10

What the fuck just happened, bro? Bro, I did this thing that I just started where I close my eyes and I rotate my eyes and another video.

SPEAKER_02

See what this is. Oh fuck. What the fuck? That was just all chaos. That whole video was fucking chaos, dude. Holy shit. Yeah. Um Wow. Would you do that? Dude. You know how long it would take us to score?

SPEAKER_10

I'd get a breakaway from you and be like, I wouldn't be able to score. So not only just, you know, having to go the distance, um, dude, today in my steel toe boots, I went to uh all of our pieces of equipment at work have to be chalked. And so chalks are, you know, these big rubber things, right? Rectangles with a rope. And uh we hang them on the back of the tractor once we pull them and we hook up the gear. And so I thought I had it timed or whatever right, and I just went and I threw them hoping that it would land on the tractor, and it the rope missed. And um it fucking they they're rubber and they hit the ground, they just sort of bouncing bing, beam, beam, beam, boom. And they fucking out of all the areas on my steel toe boots, they hit like the inside of my foot right here, and I was just like fuck that hurt. And one of my coworkers looked at me, he was like, Yeah, look like it did. I was like, Yeah, it did. I'm going home. Uh, how was your week uh at work this week? Um, it was pretty good. Um cold, dude, so cold.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09

I never meant to be so cold. What I really meant to say is I'm sorry for the way I am. Never meant to be so cold. Never meant to be so cold. Good job. What I really meant to say is I'm sorry for the way I am.

SPEAKER_02

All right, folks. Uh I don't know about that one. Play the crickets. I'm just kidding. Um yeah, I mean, to be honest, um, since the last podcast episode, I ain't had shit going on. It's been cold. It rained a little, I mean it snowed a little bit. Once that volleyball tournament, I mean, didn't really have shit going on, to be honest.

SPEAKER_10

Oh yeah. Um Gunter just woke up.

SPEAKER_02

Just woke up.

SPEAKER_10

He's not gonna He says he's getting ready. Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, hurry the fuck up.

SPEAKER_08

Time is up.

SPEAKER_02

Time is now, now. You can't see me now. You got anything else, man?

SPEAKER_10

Um I don't know. Um I do. So you do?

unknown

I do.

SPEAKER_10

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Um So That was tasty, by the way, if you wanted to know.

SPEAKER_10

Oh yeah. So something happened to me yesterday and today. And I call it the trade-off of living where I live. I know you shit on me all the time about living where I live. Yeah. But for the rent price and my commute to work and not having to fill up my fucking truck with gas, but like once every paycheck. I fucking love it. I'm not gonna say anything. I just have to the only thing that I have to deal with is a little bit of crackhead activities every now and then.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_10

So oh fuck. Yesterday, I get home from work and we have a main door that we have to put a key in, unlock to access the building and then go to my unit, whatever. And uh I went to put my key in the slot yesterday to the main door, and my key only went in halfway.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah. And after just looking at it for a couple seconds, I came to the conclusion that somebody poured glue into the keyhole.

SPEAKER_08

Jesus.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, dude. So nobody the management, the management company to this property fucking sucks. It's only that I hate there's there's there's there's this technically like a I wouldn't say a big complex, but it's large enough to where you should have somebody here all the time. Yeah, but it's the ghetto. Yeah, that's true. That's part of the trade-off.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_10

That that is true. But I I should at least have somebody to call. You know. It should be, yeah, no, I agree. Um, especially for emergency situations and like if my apartment's flooding and I need the water shut off now, I shouldn't have to send a fucking email to the receptionist and just fucking hope.

SPEAKER_02

Let that shit flood.

SPEAKER_10

Right, exactly. So luckily, um, I guess my text message went through to this person and they contacted somebody and they came out and I was like, You got any acetone on you? Because that's probably what you need, or locksmith. We need one of those. And so they're like, we're gonna go get some real quick. And about 45 minutes later, they knock on my door and they're like, hey, we got come check the lockout. I think we got it right.

SPEAKER_02

You're like the fucking spokesman of the complex?

SPEAKER_10

Pretty much. And so I go out there and I'm fucking doing the lock and whatnot. I'm like, yeah, cool, it works. So I get off this, I get off work this morning at like 10 and I get here and I go to use my key. Somebody put more glue in there? I don't know if they use if somebody put more glue in there or if they didn't get it all out and the low temperature's frozen. Right. So for 45 fucking minutes, I'm trying to contact people, and I just happen to see the maintenance guys pull up, and I was like, hey, the fucking glue in the lock is fucked up again. And so they're like, fuck, how do we get in the building? I'm like, yeah, good fucking question. I've been here for 45 minutes. I'm cold and I should be able to go inside my unit.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_10

And so, like, they went through the other building to access the alley, to access the office, to access the building that I'm in, to come out and let me in. And uh like a fucking maze. Pretty much, dude. And uh, I don't know. We're basically gonna see what happens.

SPEAKER_02

You're gonna get locked up getting your IKEA stuff.

SPEAKER_10

Oh, yeah, I do need to go to IKEA tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02

Uh I put the glue in there.

SPEAKER_10

You put the glue in there?

SPEAKER_02

No, but that's a great fucking.

SPEAKER_10

Dude, if you want to like normally, like when you think about being petty with an ex or something, you're like, I'll slash their tire.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I'll key their car.

SPEAKER_10

Right. Bitch, I'm putting glue in your lot.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that's gonna be my new shit.

SPEAKER_10

Right. I don't like you. I'm gonna call your job and tell them you still smoke weed.

SPEAKER_02

Right. I'm gonna I'm gonna send your job a picture of you with the clown face on.

SPEAKER_10

I don't know. I don't think phlebotomists should be smoking weed, but right. Me neither. Right. Yeah. All right, bro. All right, brother. Well, we've got some big things in the works that we need to get to working on. Yeah. So I say we tie a ribbon on this one. A bribbon. You about to say bow?

SPEAKER_02

I said bribbin, I know. Shut the fuck up. All right, you got the quote. Uh oh, fuck. Yeah, I had it last week.

SPEAKER_10

God damn it. Um, all right. Well, I mean, anytime you're late, just say I'm up. Sorry, I just woke up, bro, getting ready.