Story Wars And Bar Fights

FOLLOW US ON SOCIALS HERE----> https://linktr.ee/Justtalkingunfiltered

Transcript

Meet The Crew And Setup

SPEAKER_09 0:00

Welcome back to Just Talking Unfiltered. Today we have a wild story for you. Yo, yo, absolutely wild. You won't believe this.

SPEAKER_04 0:10

What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of Just Talking Unfiltered. I'm Winston. I'm Brian. We got two goons with us today.

SPEAKER_05 0:18

Gunter. We got Gunter and Hannah's like fifth episode.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

Something.

SPEAKER_05 0:27

Just woman of many words. That's right. You're probably wondering why there's so many people at the podcast desk. Right.

SPEAKER_04 0:37

This table can barely handle me and you alone. Right. And now we've got all this. That's right.

SPEAKER_05 0:46

What are we doing, Brian? What are we doing? We're gonna do Story Wars. And for people who don't know what Story Wars is. Are we doing a ripoff? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not even a full ripoff. Not even a full ripoff. It's a half ripoff. And I hate when you're on the podcast and sometimes you're so fucking unenthused.

SPEAKER_03 1:06

Debbie Downer.

SPEAKER_05 1:07

Yeah, I'm gonna put my head on the mic. Like fucking. So we can hear what you're fucking thinking. Good job. Um, no, from um from um the guys from Skankfest. Right. Uh they do story wars. So basically what it is is um the three of us, Winston, Hannah, Brian, um, we submit it three stories each to Hunter, who will be the host of this game show, if you will. I feel weird with him in my chair.

SPEAKER_03 1:40

It does feel weird sitting over here.

SPEAKER_05 1:41

Yeah, y'all should sit at the chair at the same time.

SPEAKER_04 1:45

That'll be that'll be on the OnlyFans. Correct.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

You should have Hunter sit on your lap while he presses the buttons.

SPEAKER_04 1:54

Not looking, can't see shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

No, it's you helping him. You're like guiding his hand. Like it's this blue one.

SPEAKER_04 2:01

So I try to I try to color code him too for you.

SPEAKER_05 2:04

Yeah, I like it. Um, and we're gonna he Hunter's gonna read the stories, and then we're gonna guess who that story is, and the person whose story it is is gonna tell the story. And uh, you get a point for every story you get correct, and you get a point if someone guesses incorrectly to your story. Damn. Do you have anything to like keep the score with?

SPEAKER_03 2:27

No.

SPEAKER_04 2:28

Alright, so we fucked up already. We have fucked up.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

Hunter, can you read out loud well?

SPEAKER_03 2:34

I'd do pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:36

Better than me. We're gonna find out. Better than me.

SPEAKER_04 2:39

Um, is that pen still up here? Yeah. Alright. I see it. Do we have a blank card? Card in the living room.

Rules Of Story Wars

SPEAKER_05 2:49

Um I'm well, yeah. Once once you read the first one, you can read the you can use the back of it. Yes. All right, so he'll read. I gotta pick a short one then. No, not yet, not yet, not yet. He's gonna read a story, and then we'll hold up who we think it is. We're also trying to outsmart each other. Elude. And get them to guess that it's not you. If it is you. Because we don't have cards to guess our own name. Now, what if somebody successfully evades to get a point? I like that. I like that a lot. Ding dong ding. Yeah, so um without further ado, let's uh start us off with a clip like we always do. Oh how's everybody doing tonight? Hanging in there. Yep. I'm here. Banana?

SPEAKER_01 3:42

I can only hear out of one ear, so we only have you only have the thing in one ear, so my other ear doesn't work. You're right.

SPEAKER_06 3:51

Hold me now. I'm six feet from the edge, and I'm thinking maybe six feet and so far down. Yeah, that's what I'm feeling.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

I'm not cheering you on.

SPEAKER_07 4:20

Oh shit, I would leave.

SPEAKER_05 4:28

Like makes a baby.

SPEAKER_06 5:12

Frankie got him.

SPEAKER_03 5:13

Frankie is a beast. Thanks, buddy.

SPEAKER_09 5:27

Yo, it's Winston and Brian, the unfiltered crew. Fat bearded legends with a penance for you. Exercise laughs, no filter, no cap, poor drink, take a seat, we just talk and rap. Winston in the corner with the whiskey in his fist, Ryan yelling loud. Every topic gets dissed. Beard so thick, they can smuggle a brisket. Voices boomin' harder than a 12-minute stub kick. Grab your lone star. We ain't polite. Welcome to the show. It's a bar fight tonight. Just talking dumb, built the no rules, no change. Two fat boys taking over the game. Texas T, Texas Peace, grab a mic and ignite. It's winstin' and fine, keep it raw, keep it tight. Just talking dunk, built the no rules, no change. Two fat boys taking over the game. Texas T, Texas beats, grab a mic and ignite. It's Winston and Brian, keep it raw, keep it tight. Ryan got the volume of a megaphone riot. Winston got the booze, but his liver stay quiet. Topics jump wild like a bull in the shoe. From brisket to politics, no subjects move. Barbecue stains on a microphone grip.

unknown 6:29

Spit fire.

SPEAKER_05 6:30

Good job. Winston's still doing the fucking. Uh yeah, it's funny. Uh, does that need to be turned up at any point to play anything else? Got this. Alright, yeah, cool. Alright. Alright. Start. Let's get it. Let's get into the first story.

Shit Mountain And Bathroom Tech

SPEAKER_04 6:51

Yeah, let's get into We're ready. The first story. I got this guy.

SPEAKER_05 7:04

Oh, that's funny.

SPEAKER_01 7:08

What? You want to listen to whole thing? It was just so long. It was the conviction with which you did that.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

It's okay. Oh shit. Yeah, we're gonna see how well I read today. Right. I'm ready. You ready? That's good. Dumb nod. First story. I shit on a hill on a farm, and we named it Shit Mountain.

SPEAKER_04 7:34

It's fucking Brian.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

Winston. I'm gonna take over the farm one day because my dad's got a farm.

SPEAKER_03 7:45

Well, Winston. This is not me. Got it correct. And you both wrong.

SPEAKER_05 7:52

Yeah. So um when I was younger, we uh went to New Mexico, and my grandmother lived on a farm. And uh we were fucking, me and my cousins were out there fucking around. We're not we weren't fucking relaxed. So New Mexico, not West Virginia. No, it's Alabama, Alabama, whatever. Um we were fucking around and um we like started laughing about something. I was trying to climb this fucking hill, and I fucking just started shitting, so I just pulled my pants down and just shit all over the fucking hill. How old were you? I was 14, 14. Dude, I literally still shit on myself to this day.

SPEAKER_04 8:38

Yeah, dude, same, same. Sometimes when I go to the bathroom, I'm like, do I even want to use toilet paper? I'm just gonna hop in the shower because is it a doozy? It might be bro, you literally have a bidet, though. I've never used that thing. It was here when I got here, so I feel kind of their shit's not in there.

SPEAKER_05 8:53

I don't know. It's insane.

SPEAKER_03 8:56

They stuffed it full of shit before they left.

SPEAKER_05 8:58

I guess so. Uh yeah, so it's uh yeah, shit mountain. Shit Mountain was the name of it. And for years, I would go back and see my um cousins. And um Do they also like keep the trend going? No, they did not also shit on the mountain, but to this day, we still call it shit mountain.

SPEAKER_03 9:22

Never been back.

SPEAKER_05 9:24

No, I've been back. I haven't shit on him again. Is the shit still there? Nah. Pigs probably ate it.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

I'm just under the impression that you don't actually love me because why do you have stories that I don't know?

SPEAKER_05 9:38

Damn. You never asked. That's my Winston quote. That's my Winston quote. Why would I have to ask you if you've ever done that? That sounded like Winston, didn't I? Yeah. You never asked. Yeah. That's how I treat. So the score right now should be. What's the score?

SPEAKER_03 9:57

Oh, Winston one.

SPEAKER_05 9:58

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 9:59

A Hannah Zero.

SPEAKER_05 10:01

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 10:02

And I guess. Let me add that in. You didn't successfully. Did you successfully lose though? Because I got you. Yeah. Her.

SPEAKER_05 10:12

Does that count though? I feel like you have to do the whole table. It's never gonna happen. You know why? Because it's three of you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

You just want to find a way to fucking win. Right.

SPEAKER_05 10:23

No. No. I'm trying to tell y'all the rules. Nobody listens. Put my point down. Half a point. No, a whole point. Right.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

You should only get half a point for that.

SPEAKER_05 10:33

Have y'all ever sit outside? On accident? No. On accident? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:39

On accident? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:40

Yeah, at a Wawa parking lot. Do you add the open face gravy and turkey?

unknown 10:46

No.

SPEAKER_05 10:47

What do they call this? The gobbler? Yeah, the gobbler. No.

SPEAKER_04 10:50

Dude, one time uh I was so excited that the gobbler, I it was my first time discovering the gobbler.

SPEAKER_05 11:00

Go ahead. I'm saying gobbler is hilarious.

SPEAKER_04 11:02

No, it was my first time discovering the gobbler. And I was like, I love you. And uh I was living in the barracks, so I went to the Wawa and I came back and thought I saw a parking spot, so I put my Honda element in full reverse and floored it and backed into a bitch.

SPEAKER_05 11:25

Remember that one time when you wrecked your truck into that ditch?

SPEAKER_02 11:31

Story time.

SPEAKER_04 11:32

I didn't wreck no fucking truck into a ditch. I backed into a ditch and my truck was teeter-tottering. Because they didn't give him a tip on a full. It wasn't because they didn't give me a tip, it was because it was dark out and I was leaving a neighborhood.

SPEAKER_01 11:42

I'm gonna fire his lancer into a curb because he didn't get a good one.

SPEAKER_04 11:46

The lancer, I rest, because I didn't see a wall. And I was upset, and I was upset about a tip. But not that one. Not backing the truck into the ditch. And the truck didn't have any damage. I just had to like shift it to get it out of there. You know, we got it. You don't remember how you got it out. I don't remember, but it there was no damage. Right. I know that.

SPEAKER_03 12:10

Were you drinking?

SPEAKER_04 12:11

No, I was delivering fucking pizzas.

SPEAKER_03 12:13

Oh. So yeah. Yeah, no tip. No, fuck this guy's grass.

SPEAKER_05 12:18

Dude, I need to I just see you. No, you love floor and backing up. That's insane. That's insane. And the motherfucker doesn't look.

Bar Security Chaos And Fights

SPEAKER_04 12:29

You guys act like I'm such a terrible fucking driver. Well, I had a dream last night. Yeah. No, this is actually I was gonna talk about this last year. This is once in a second, King Jr. What was your dream? Oh, we're talking about car wrecks and everything. I had a dream last night that I uh ran into the back of somebody, and uh I was like, fuck, my insurance is about to go up. But I was like, oh shit, this is a video game. Let me just so I pulled over to the side, and right when they came up to ask for my information, I just logged out of the video game and I disappeared. But I was still like technically in the game, and I could like go around and like I just remember like I logged back in and I was standing right next to the dude. I just like slapped him in the face and then logged off again.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

So now he has a warrant out for his arrest.

SPEAKER_05 13:17

This dude, no, that wasn't even a fucking video game. This replay was just him sleepwalking. Light him in.

SPEAKER_04 13:26

Logged off, logged off again, logged on, punched his window out, fucking logged off. You're playing so much simulation.

SPEAKER_03 13:32

My question is why is he still standing there?

SPEAKER_04 13:35

Oh, the guy? Yeah, that's his dream. Yeah, I don't know that it was a dream. What the guy looked like? I don't know. White?

SPEAKER_05 13:42

Yeah. Yeah. What the girl looked like? There wasn't one. You say you ran into a bitch. No, no. Oh, that wasn't the element. Yeah, okay, okay. I'm sorry. Normally when I dream, I dream about big booty Latina bitches. You're there too, babe.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

You don't have to talk to me, it's okay.

SPEAKER_03 14:01

Alright.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

Story number two.

SPEAKER_03 14:05

Story number two. Story number two. Finally. Don't worry, that was shorter. Right, it was. Okay, story number two. I watched a woman get tackled by a man at the bar. Shitty part is I can't see your guys' cards. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

Brian says Brian.

SPEAKER_03 14:29

Okay. Winston is a big thing. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_04 14:33

No, no, I'm thinking because this could be either one of y'all.

SPEAKER_03 14:37

It's okay.

SPEAKER_04 14:37

Hannah was a bartender.

SPEAKER_05 14:40

It also could be you. You spent a lot of time at bars. He used to be. He's gotten better. It's called a fucking story. It's not something that happened yesterday. I found Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 14:52

You found a church that rents out their chairs and doesn't care about it.

SPEAKER_04 14:55

Hannah, get new stories. Um I will leave. Um I gotta say, I'm gonna go with Hannah on this one because I he literally worked security at a bar.

SPEAKER_03 15:15

That is true.

SPEAKER_04 15:16

Right.

SPEAKER_01 15:16

But I feel like you're I didn't watch what bar patrons did. I just served fucking drinks and talked shit to him.

SPEAKER_05 15:21

I think it's Winston. Damn. Because he's over, he's real convicted right now. Convicted? Yeah, you have conviction. Conflicted? No, conviction.

SPEAKER_01 15:29

That's a big word for Elmo. Fuck y'all.

SPEAKER_04 15:33

I'll be smart. You got smarticals? I'm going with Hannah. Are we sure? Are we all locked in?

SPEAKER_05 15:41

I'm gonna go ahead and lock it in. Okay. Locked in.

SPEAKER_04 15:44

Hannah just looks like fuck today.

SPEAKER_05 15:47

Lock it in, Hannah. Lock it in, Hannah. She's locked in.

SPEAKER_04 15:49

Hannah locked it in.

SPEAKER_01 15:49

Bro, I haven't fucking changed my car.

SPEAKER_04 15:51

Lock it in. Okay. Lock it in.

SPEAKER_03 15:56

She's good. Oh, fuck. Who was that? Yep. Okay. Links in.

unknown 16:05

Correct!

SPEAKER_04 16:06

That's what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_03 16:08

Hannah and Brian.

SPEAKER_01 16:11

Well, according to Brian's logic, I still get a point. Yeah, you got a point.

SPEAKER_05 16:15

Damn.

SPEAKER_01 16:16

Because I evaded you.

SPEAKER_05 16:18

Yeah. I know it wasn't me.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

But you were actually there that night.

unknown 16:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 16:24

You were working the door. Yeah. Yeah. Now you get a chance.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

We both saw it.

SPEAKER_05 16:28

Tell the story, buddy. Tell the story.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

This girl was, I don't even know what she was doing. Was she fighting with her baby daddy or her husband, boyfriend? Somebody. I don't know. Again, I was the bartender. I'm not involved in any of this shit. He worked security.

SPEAKER_03 16:43

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 16:44

So I guess she kept running. Sorry. Why are you so fucking close to me? Um I guess she kept running inside. And like the other security guy kept escorting her out. And the last time she ran in, he fucking tackled her and just carried her out.

SPEAKER_05 17:01

He should have just tased Jesus. Yeah. It was insane to watch because I'm just laughing. He's like, help me. I'm like, dog, you wanted to do security tonight. I got the door. Enjoy.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

I didn't even get to watch the whole show because it do my job.

SPEAKER_04 17:15

I remember the one time that I got into a uh bar fight.

SPEAKER_01 17:19

Bro, this was my story, not yours.

SPEAKER_04 17:21

Yeah, no, I was just adding on. What with uh exclamation point?

SPEAKER_05 17:25

No. No. No, with your ex? Yeah, with my ex. Who's exclamation point? Um doesn't matter. Go ahead. Okay. I was talking about a time when old boy pushed you into the fucking bull and you slammed your beer on the ground. No.

SPEAKER_04 17:43

No, it was me and uh It's a bar fight tonight. That's right. It was me and uh what did Blake Shelton say? Old red. Um but yeah, we were we were at Eagle's Nest, and uh some dude like kept like getting close to me and talking to me and yelling in my ear and shit, and I was getting pissed the fuck off.

SPEAKER_05 18:07

Yeah, one thing about Winston, he doesn't like people talking to him. Or touching him. That's right, or being near him. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

Why the fuck were you even at a bar?

SPEAKER_05 18:15

Dude, he got mad at the door dash lady because she didn't know how to redirect her.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

I didn't get mad at her.

SPEAKER_04 18:22

No, I just saw her driving it in circles, and I'm like, you gotta GPS.

SPEAKER_03 18:26

I was like, I'll go out there and meet her. He's like, absolutely not. Maybe you should try and get that gas money.

SPEAKER_04 18:31

No. Anywho, but uh yeah, this dude was like pissing me the fuck off, and old Red looked at security and was like, he's about to fight, y'all better get more. I was like, I didn't even know that was a thing until afterwards. But fucking hit this dude up the side the head. And uh by that time, security was already there watching us, so they broke us up really quick, but then his girl wanted to fight old Red, and so old Red jumped on the back of one of the security dudes and was like trying to swing. We got kicked out.

SPEAKER_05 19:13

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They called me and sold me.

SPEAKER_03 19:17

Well, dang. Yeah, it was fun. You know, you know, that's my spot, so you know every time you go with Winston, you gotta be prepared for a fight.

SPEAKER_05 19:25

Not anymore. Not anymore. Not anymore, yeah. No, I'm a chill drunk. That's how I am. I'll just be chilling.

SPEAKER_01 19:31

Winston doesn't even leave his house now. So he gets a few.

SPEAKER_05 19:34

If anybody's gonna fight, it's gonna be fucking Hannah.

SPEAKER_04 19:37

Yeah, I feel like Hannah would definitely be the fighter nowadays.

SPEAKER_05 19:41

Yep.

SPEAKER_06 19:42

I'm just a girl. I'm just a girl.

SPEAKER_05 19:46

That's the only part I know of that song. You ever been in a bar fight?

SPEAKER_03 19:50

A bar fight? Yeah, this motherfucker. Y'all got a bar fight? I'm pretty sure. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_05 19:56

Yeah, I don't know, Hunter. We've come close.

SPEAKER_04 19:59

I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 20:00

I would like to know what y'all are talking about. What bar fight did y'all get into? We don't know. We've come close. I would like y'all to tell me. I I really don't know. What were you talking about? We've come close.

SPEAKER_03 20:17

Alright, I'm gonna go. Night out. Too many drinks. You walk into someone. You wanna fight, motherfucker?

SPEAKER_04 20:25

I wanted to fight somebody? Yeah. I don't remember this. No, I believe you.

Wi-Fi, Butts, And Early Internet

SPEAKER_03 20:29

The guy ran into you. They're going out to the parking lot. The guy ran into Winston.

SPEAKER_05 20:34

The people you had to watch out when we went out all the time was this motherfucker and Grant. This motherfucker and Grant stay wanted to fight people. Knocks every now and then. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 20:49

But Grant, that dude would be like, he's looking at my girl. I know she has a cat. I'm gonna beat their ass. I'd be like, please don't. We just got here. Alright.

SPEAKER_03 21:04

We ready? We are ready. Oh, I just dropped the card. That was my scorecard.

SPEAKER_04 21:20

He's doing good for his first time. I know.

SPEAKER_05 21:23

Could be his worst time. He's doing good for his first time. Could be the last time. That doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_03 21:30

He's like, god damn. Hired, then fired. Grand opening, grand closing. Hey. One hit show. We're good. Are we ready? One hit wonder.

SPEAKER_07 21:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:46

I'm the hat toss king.

SPEAKER_05 21:48

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 21:50

One time my neighbors thought I was hacking into their bank accounts. All I was trying to do was get Wi-Fi to look at ass online.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

That's Brian. You literally used to do people's cable and stuff. So I feel like you would know how to do this.

SPEAKER_05 22:14

That's gotta be Brian. No, it's gotta be Winston. Absolutely not. The only reason I say it's Winston, right? Hear me out because I'm gonna get you to change your answer. Right?

SPEAKER_01 22:23

Remember when you can get more points? No, no.

SPEAKER_05 22:26

Remember when old girl came over and kept saying that he was hacking into all her shit? Oh bullshit. Remember? She was fucking crazy. Remember, so you love to take care of it. No, listen. Listen, listen. That everybody was crazy. They are. He lived with her.

unknown 22:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:40

Yeah, I had nowhere to go.

SPEAKER_05 22:42

Yeah, no, no. The point isn't that I don't give a fuck about you living with her. Think about it.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

Listen, I'ma have your back on this one. If you don't have my back later, there's gonna be a fucking. You're walking home. Okay. And I'm punching you in your face.

SPEAKER_03 22:56

All right. Damn. That's bullshit. We locked in. Lock it in. Locked it in. Sounds good. Well, Winston. Brian and Hannah.

SPEAKER_07 23:09

Correct!

SPEAKER_05 23:11

That's right. You want to know why I knew it was him? Because he said me. But also it makes sense because you wouldn't.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

Why would I?

unknown 23:20

Why would I?

SPEAKER_05 23:21

You like ass? Bro, you like looking at butts.

SPEAKER_01 23:25

Why would I sit there and try to steal someone's internet to look at butts?

SPEAKER_05 23:29

Alright, let's hear the story. I have a fucking great question.

SPEAKER_04 23:34

Let's figure this out. Yeah, dude. I was like a fucking teenager and like had this brick of a fucking laptop and uh there wasn't any internet at the house. And so like I was like trying to see some butts. And uh you're gonna jerk off in the woods. No, I just I think at that point is on his neighbor's porch. No, I think at that point I didn't even know what jerking was. Right. But I was just like, I like butts. And so uh any specific ones?

SPEAKER_01 24:06

Probably super white given his upbringing.

SPEAKER_04 24:09

The fuck, Haylor Swift. Barely there. Taylor Swift. Oh shit, that shit flat as fuck. Um, but yeah, um, I was on the four-wheeler and like I had the laptop and like people just drove by and saw me, and they thought I was hacking into their finances, and they brought it up to the fucking homeowners association. It was there was a big deal about it. They were like, Seriously, he's hacking into all of our finances and our Wi-Fi's.

SPEAKER_03 24:38

What are you parked at on a four-wheeler in the woods?

SPEAKER_04 24:41

Well, yeah, I mean, I tried the woods and then I drove like just down the road.

SPEAKER_01 24:47

You were just in the middle of the road on your fucking laptop.

SPEAKER_05 24:52

I would have called the police. Why is this kid running? He's yeah, he's definitely stealing.

SPEAKER_04 24:57

Yeah, they thought I was stealing, but I was just trying to steal. So did you have to like go in front of like no?

SPEAKER_05 25:02

No, your dad shut that shit down. And he's like, he's not doing anything. Did you tell him that you're looking at butt? No. He knows now. Big cook. Winston was looking at ass. He's wrecking his truck. That's probably how he rent his truck. Shut the fuck up. I wouldn't write the goddamn truck. He was like, oh shit. I bro, I grew up in an era where we didn't have smartphones. Right. So I just had a flip phone. So like, I get it. I would look at ass and be like, on Google search images and be like, big black booty. Yeah. Because you know I love brown women.

SPEAKER_04 25:40

Dude, I remember the very first kill you. I remember the very first vagina I saw. Okay, go on. Yeah. So um it was like Mary Lou. No, and it was crazy. Um, because you couldn't, we were at school and we were in the library, and the dude came up to me, he's like, You wanna see something great? And I was like, Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:09

The dude, like someone that worked at the library? No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_04 26:13

It was a fellow student. Okay, I was like, was a right. Um, but yeah, like he was like, check this out. If you type in cheeseburger into Google Images, and you scroll, there's a vagina. Dude, like just one, yeah, because the chick was like on her side, and the way she looked and everything, it looked like you had the top bun, some lettuce, the patty, and then the tomato, and then the lower bun. It looked like a cheeseburger, I'm not gonna lie. Pull it up. Go ahead. Pull it up. Pull it. We'll check it out some other time. Oh, you don't want to put it on the YouTube. We're gonna go ahead and put that cheeseburger pussy right here.

Motorcycle Wrecks And Scars

SPEAKER_05 26:58

We're not. We're not. I'm trying to think of like the first oh I know the first who's the first porn star you ever watched. Um couldn't tell you.

SPEAKER_04 27:13

I couldn't tell you because probably Texas Alexis. No, because I figured out what HBO was really early, or Cinemax. Cinemax as we used to call it.

SPEAKER_03 27:23

You have to type in the code dig it in.

SPEAKER_04 27:25

No, I didn't have to do that. But that's back when that last channel button really worked really good. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:31

But which was weird because if you had the volume up and you just heard, uh, uh, and you hit last channel, it's on like Nickelodeon, they're like, what the fuck will you watch?

SPEAKER_05 27:41

Nickelodeon in a wild or well, if you ever watched the Nickelodeon documentary, I mean uh Cartoon Network. Bro, I used to get on the um the blurry channel, the spice channel. The fuck was that spike TV? No, spice. Oh, and it'd be like um it'd be like fucking scrambled. Yeah, did y'all have scrambled channels?

SPEAKER_03 28:06

Pixel, yeah, pixelated.

SPEAKER_04 28:07

Pixelated? No. It's not eggs. No, no, scrambled. It's not eggs. What do you mean scrambled?

SPEAKER_03 28:14

Explain.

SPEAKER_04 28:15

Pixelated little it was like a bunch of it was like a big square, and then the the little tiny squares would flash.

SPEAKER_03 28:24

No. No? No, it was like scrambled. Yeah, I will show you. On my on my phone. Okay. I'm gonna need more drinks then.

SPEAKER_05 28:35

Uh I hate that I'm old than y'all. Old, old. Yeah, it would be like that. Y'all never had channels.

SPEAKER_03 28:48

That looks like the ocean.

SPEAKER_04 28:50

No, that would fuck me up if I was watching that drunk. That's a woman.

SPEAKER_05 28:55

But every now and then it would show a titty. And also a lot of people. Well, I learned to jerk off the noises.

SPEAKER_04 29:06

So yeah. Well, oh hang on, let me let me type in cheeseburger pussy real quick. Here we go.

SPEAKER_05 29:13

Just don't post it.

SPEAKER_03 29:15

Too late. He's found it.

SPEAKER_05 29:18

He said to scroll for hours. Did you type in cheeseburger pussy? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:22

Or just cheeseburger.

SPEAKER_05 29:23

That's not what the guy's not what the guy told you to type in.

SPEAKER_04 29:27

Right, but do you know how many pictures of cheeseburgers have probably been posted since then?

SPEAKER_05 29:32

Thousand.

SPEAKER_04 29:33

There's a lot of pussy up here.

SPEAKER_03 29:35

Well, yeah, you type in cheeseburger pussy, it's gonna come up.

SPEAKER_05 29:39

Once it's getting horny. Shows in the early. Guys, I think he's trying to steal my bank information.

SPEAKER_04 29:48

I'm not seeing it.

SPEAKER_05 29:50

Alright.

SPEAKER_01 29:52

Anyway, what's the next story? No, hold on.

SPEAKER_04 29:55

We gotta figure out this cheeseburger pussy.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

We don't.

SPEAKER_05 29:58

Yeah, we don't. We don't.

SPEAKER_01 29:59

You guys asked. I did not ask.

SPEAKER_05 30:02

We have a lady present. Oh, fuck you. We have a lady present. No, fuck you, because you were like, go ahead and pull her up. Yeah, if it was gonna be fast. Yeah, I tried.

SPEAKER_03 30:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:14

It's okay. Move on.

SPEAKER_03 30:16

Yeah. Moving on. Moving on. I got into a motorcycle accident after a night with friends.

SPEAKER_01 30:33

Winstony. Absolutely not. Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_04 30:38

This is a Hannah.

SPEAKER_01 30:40

Winstony.

SPEAKER_04 30:41

This is a Hannah.

SPEAKER_01 30:42

This is a short, quick and 57 motorcycle accidents.

SPEAKER_04 30:46

There's a short, quick, and to the point. It's a very short story. That's what it's supposed to be.

SPEAKER_01 30:53

I don't wreck like every bike you've ever had.

SPEAKER_04 30:55

Nope. I have a bike I haven't ridden.

SPEAKER_01 30:59

Every bike you've ever ridden.

SPEAKER_04 31:01

I rode it once. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:04

You've fallen off of didn't you fall off in like a front yard too?

SPEAKER_04 31:08

In a front yard.

SPEAKER_01 31:09

Or a yard.

SPEAKER_04 31:11

This is definitely fucking Hannah.

SPEAKER_01 31:12

Okay, you fucking B-word.

SPEAKER_04 31:15

Yeah. Hannah doesn't like giving details.

SPEAKER_03 31:21

We locked in.

SPEAKER_01 31:22

I thought she was gonna have my back. Alright, so that right there gives it away. Right.

SPEAKER_03 31:27

Thought you were gonna have my back, brain.

SPEAKER_01 31:30

You were supposed to. It was a fucking deal. So you'd like to get back to the biggest one. You didn't tell me when.

SPEAKER_05 31:33

You didn't tell me when.

SPEAKER_01 31:35

Now anytime.

SPEAKER_05 31:36

No, not every time. You get to pick one.

SPEAKER_01 31:38

You said anytime, not every time.

SPEAKER_05 31:40

So this one?

SPEAKER_01 31:40

No. The moment's past. Alright, lock it in.

SPEAKER_03 31:43

Damn. Got it in the card.

SPEAKER_04 31:45

Lock it in.

SPEAKER_03 31:46

Okay. Correct. Brian and Winston.

SPEAKER_04 31:51

That's what I'm fucking talking about.

SPEAKER_03 31:53

That's right.

unknown 31:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 31:56

Hannah tells the deets. Did you put the score down? Yes. You stay on your side.

SPEAKER_03 32:02

My bad. My bad, bud. Winston's got me if I need help.

SPEAKER_05 32:06

And that's not the person that you're gonna want to help you if you need help.

SPEAKER_03 32:10

That's pretty good. He sleeps in, but he'll show up. Late. Hey. Not lately. Half done. Job half done. I'm here now.

SPEAKER_04 32:20

Not today. Hunter was late today. I was.

SPEAKER_03 32:23

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

There's not much to tell. I hate this. Oh my uh God was on the passenger. And we fall down. We fall down.

SPEAKER_04 32:36

I hate this.

SPEAKER_01 32:37

Then tell the story better. Almost lost my foot.

SPEAKER_04 32:41

How did you almost lose your foot? Alright, I'll tell the story. From Road Rash. Let me tell the story.

SPEAKER_01 32:44

I don't want you to tell the story because I don't want all the details of the story.

SPEAKER_04 32:48

Why would you write it down and put it into a show?

SPEAKER_01 32:50

I don't have to play this. She was dating this jackass.

SPEAKER_05 32:53

Right? Oh my God. She was dating this jackass. Both parties were drunk. And one was like, hey, you want to go for a ride? And the other one's like, of course I do. And then this jackass, instead of being like, No, I don't think you should get on the bike, he just said, sure. There you go. Funny thing about the city. What did you wreck into?

SPEAKER_01 33:19

The ground. Yeah. Fucking concrete, Winston. Jesus fucking Christ.

SPEAKER_04 33:23

I don't know if it was a car or something.

SPEAKER_05 33:24

In front of a fire station. Oh.

SPEAKER_04 33:27

Did the firefighters respond?

SPEAKER_01 33:29

No. The police left. They said y'all got it and left.

SPEAKER_03 33:33

To you?

SPEAKER_01 33:34

To both of us.

SPEAKER_03 33:35

Wow. That's a great fire station.

SPEAKER_01 33:37

I had one shoe on. When I got there.

SPEAKER_05 33:41

When I got there, the uh bike was still had the wheels spinning and the light was on, just facing the ground. She had one shoe on, and there was just blood everywhere. Jesus. It was cool. Hey, you got to see that.

SPEAKER_04 33:55

That's the pits, Hannah. And um, I'm happy that you survived. Just tell that tale. We're I'm happy you're here, Hannah. Thank you.

SPEAKER_05 34:02

We're I'm happy you're here too. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 34:04

Don't try to fucking gaslight me, Winston.

SPEAKER_04 34:06

I'm not trying to gaslight you. I'm just saying that I'm I'm happy that you are existing on this planet with us.

SPEAKER_05 34:12

I wrecked my motorcycle on the way. Huh? No one cares. Oh, that's what we're doing? No, go ahead. No, no. Oh, that's what Winston, you know, that's my favorite thing to do. You'll just walk out. No. Um I wrecked my motorcycle on the way to driver improvement class. Oh, what? Yeah. Yeah, I got a nice little scar on my leg from that shit.

SPEAKER_04 34:34

Wasn't that the one where you um ended up in somebody's trunk? What? Didn't you what was it? It was this is this was before I met you. But that one bike that was at Cloco's house. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 34:53

Yeah, no. Yeah, I wasn't, yeah. I flipped over the trunk.

unknown 34:58

Oh.

SPEAKER_05 34:58

Ended up in the grass. I had a tank top and shorts on last time I did that shit.

SPEAKER_04 35:02

We knew somebody who ended up with a motorcycle rider in their backseat.

SPEAKER_03 35:07

Through the glass.

SPEAKER_04 35:09

RIP. Oh. Zabrino.

SPEAKER_05 35:17

Yeah. Yeah. I remember she killed that dude. And then like she would still be over at the house. And then we would show up on motorcycles. And y'all know me on a motorcycle. I'm making all the fucking noise. And they would come outside and be like, stop.

unknown 35:35

Hey.

SPEAKER_05 35:35

Be easy. Be easy. Calm down. I was like, it's a fucking motor. I was like, I'm not coming over here anymore. I'm not gonna do it. Yeah. You ever wrecked Winston? No.

SPEAKER_01 35:47

What a lying sack.

SPEAKER_04 35:49

I'm sorry, you weren't talking loud enough for your microphone to begin. Your mic did not. You were talking too quiet.

SPEAKER_01 35:55

I know. I was trying to be nice.

SPEAKER_05 35:57

What about your what about your rolled ankle?

SPEAKER_01 36:00

Yeah, so I've wrecked a few times. Yeah, I fucking wrecked a few times. How many is a few?

SPEAKER_03 36:09

Um fingers and toes? Hang on.

SPEAKER_05 36:16

I bet you that smells good.

SPEAKER_04 36:20

So let's see. I started off with the Suzuki Volusia. I actually didn't wreck that one at all.

SPEAKER_01 36:29

That's about to be a 30-minute story.

SPEAKER_04 36:31

Well you asked. We got time. Um started off with the Suzuki Suzuki Velusha. Didn't wreck that. Traded that in for the O6 Rogue King. Uh I wrecked that one right after I put brand new headlights and everything in it. Um, my food's done.

SPEAKER_03 36:50

Um you know you're fat.

SPEAKER_04 36:53

That thing's been that food's been in the smoker since three.

SPEAKER_01 36:56

Anyway, you put new headlights on and wrecked that bike. What happened after that? Winston, please, we're all on the edges of our seats.

SPEAKER_04 37:06

That's right, Hannah. I'm glad you're on the edge of your seat because this story is riveting. Uh, I wrecked that motorcycle, got it fixed up. Pretty sure I wrecked it again, but not that seriously. Traded that in for a road glide. And then uh, did I wreck that one?

SPEAKER_05 37:22

Yeah. In front of the cop. Probably.

SPEAKER_04 37:24

In what? In front of the cop. No, I I went sideways through an intersection because I was peeling out. I didn't wreck in front of a cop. He was running from a cop. Hold on. No, the pack. I was sitting at the 7-Eleven next to Cloco Roko's house, and the pack came through, and I was like, let me get in the pack, and I fucking went sideways through that intersection. That was a wreck. I just went right in front of like two.

SPEAKER_01 37:52

He just said motorcycles.

Raw Chicken Dinner Party

SPEAKER_04 37:56

It was y'all. And then uh That's funny. I think I did wreck that one. But I don't remember when or how. I remember you going down in front of a cop. Oh no, I didn't go down in front of a cop. I left Eagle's Nest that one night and I dropped it there. Because that's where I got the scar on my eyebrow. I had the floppy eyebrow. And um Nox had a tape. Nox went with me to the hospital. They stitched me up and I had the road rash on my arm.

SPEAKER_05 38:33

Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_04 38:34

And then I traded that one in later on for a brand new 21 Road Glide special that was all black and beautiful. See, Hannah, I like black.

SPEAKER_03 38:42

And then dropped it.

SPEAKER_04 38:46

And I dropped it. And I broke my ankle. A hairline fracture that has affected me four years later. Yep. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:57

We're vity.

SPEAKER_01 38:58

Alright. Next story.

SPEAKER_03 39:01

Next story. She's trying to go home.

SPEAKER_01 39:04

Bro, Winston, you didn't even die, so it's okay. He went to the hospital for an eyebrow. It's okay.

SPEAKER_00 39:14

Shut the fuck up, man. I didn't tell you you might lose your. That was good.

SPEAKER_03 39:20

You put it good away.

SPEAKER_00 39:21

Fuck off, Hunter.

SPEAKER_03 39:22

It's okay.

SPEAKER_00 39:23

Read the fucking card.

SPEAKER_03 39:24

Have you ever wrecked a bike? I'd never ridden a bicycle. Motorcycle. Huh? A dirt bike? I've wrecked in dirt tree. Yeah, and dirt bikes always get wrecked. What about a bicycle? A bicycle? I've definitely flipped a bicycle.

SPEAKER_05 39:37

I got hit by a car on a bicycle.

SPEAKER_01 39:40

I hit a stop sign on a bicycle. You're like, I'm not stopping. I didn't do fucking shit on a bicycle. That's why you kept dropping motorcycles.

SPEAKER_05 39:50

You should have dropped that bike a little bit more.

SPEAKER_03 39:58

Yeah? Yeah. Okay. I like these buttons. I was once.

SPEAKER_02 40:08

Oh, I screwed this one up. Skip. Go make that one.

SPEAKER_01 40:14

About the redo.

SPEAKER_03 40:18

I witnessed an entire dinner party eating raw chicken.

SPEAKER_04 40:26

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 40:29

What if I don't know?

SPEAKER_05 40:31

Alright, so I'm sitting here trying to figure out who this might be. Well, I think it's Winston because he hung out with a lot of white people. White people don't cook very well.

SPEAKER_04 40:44

Yeah. When would I I have ever been put in a situation where I was gonna witness somebody watching witness witness somebody eating raw chicken? I think never.

SPEAKER_01 40:59

Um fuck. I think that you lived in a city with a lot of questionable individuals, that's true, and you went to a lot of questionable houses growing up through the years, and I think you've seen a lot of things of the questionable nature.

SPEAKER_05 41:23

So that's my vote. Stop hitting the fucking mic. No, I'm locking in as Brian. Locking Hannah. Okay, give me a sec.

SPEAKER_07 41:34

You walk in a whole bunch of things. Winston.

SPEAKER_05 41:39

Locking in Winston.

SPEAKER_03 41:41

Well you guys were wrong. That was quick.

SPEAKER_01 41:48

It was me. Fuck.

SPEAKER_05 41:52

Do I know the story?

SPEAKER_01 41:53

Yeah, you do. Because you know who cooked the chicken.

SPEAKER_06 41:58

Gina. Oh.

SPEAKER_01 42:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not gonna put the name out there, but you know who cooked the chicken. And it was like two trays of chicken legs covered in barbecue sauce. Two trays. Two trays. Covered in barbecue.

SPEAKER_05 42:14

Didn't you tell America was in there trying to just putting barbecue sauce all over it?

SPEAKER_01 42:18

He's like, no, this is fine. It makes it okay. I'm like, it's literally dope.

SPEAKER_05 42:22

Barbecue sauce cooks it. Oh my god, was that Sammy Joe?

SPEAKER_01 42:25

No. I said I'm not putting the name out there. It wasn't her though.

SPEAKER_05 42:28

Sammy Joe would at least microwave it. But you got four of them.

SPEAKER_04 42:31

Three and a half. I don't mean to say.

SPEAKER_01 42:34

Um, but no, it was like raw, raw.

SPEAKER_05 42:38

Like that chicken was still mooing.

SPEAKER_01 42:41

Yeah, well, the chicken is still bogging. Um it was terrible. And I watched so many people just eat more than one bite.

SPEAKER_05 42:52

You didn't tell anyone about it? You know why else I thought it was Winston?

SPEAKER_01 42:55

It was none of my business to tell. If y'all couldn't tell that it was raw, that's between you and whoever you believe in. Because I mm mm. That's not my job to be your mom and be the guy.

SPEAKER_05 43:07

I thought it was Winston also because he literally ate raw meat. Oh my god, we're going back to this shit. Raw meat.

SPEAKER_04 43:14

I know.

SPEAKER_01 43:14

We never want to come over when I would cook dinner and we'd invite him, even when he lived with us.

SPEAKER_04 43:20

But are we gonna hold on to this? How many years? How many years are we gonna hold on to this? Yeah, forever.

SPEAKER_05 43:26

It'll be part of my wedding speech.

SPEAKER_01 43:28

Forever.

Street Proposition And Boundaries

SPEAKER_05 43:29

Wedding speech. I like it. I'm like, uh, we have uh pizza over there and uh Winston. Sorry, we don't have any raw meat. Thank you. Yeah. As long as we got beer, we'll be good. All right, so you witnessed somebody eat raw meat. You witnessed somebody eat raw meat.

SPEAKER_04 43:47

Um I The only raw meat you've witnessed is uh the dick in your mouth.

SPEAKER_01 43:55

It's okay, you tried. I know.

SPEAKER_07 43:57

Fuck!

SPEAKER_05 44:00

That one didn't land.

SPEAKER_01 44:02

God damn it, I tried. Everybody said, We all just say silent. Fuck!

SPEAKER_05 44:10

Um, one time I ate like uh like a bunch of it, but like I would take off a piece of raw hamburger and be like, why? I don't know. I was a kid. I didn't grow up in the best circumstances, so food was food.

SPEAKER_04 44:22

Food was food, yeah. Yeah. I mean, raw beef does smell good.

SPEAKER_03 44:25

What? Oh.

SPEAKER_04 44:27

Yeah. I mean, if you season it.

SPEAKER_03 44:30

That's that's not raw beef then. Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_04 44:33

No, no, it's raw beef is still raw when it's seasoned. That's seasoned beef. Seasoned beef. But it's still raw.

SPEAKER_05 44:40

Do a hat toss.

SPEAKER_06 44:43

Toss my hand up in the air and catch it on my head.

SPEAKER_05 44:46

Oh, man. Alright, so what's the what's the score at right now?

SPEAKER_03 44:52

Brian has three. Hannah has three. And Winston has three. Jesus Christ. We don't have tiebreakers or anything. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we do. We'll figure it out. We're gonna do a fucking rock, paper, scissors. Yeah, I was thinking of the same thing. We're gonna do a mile run, see who wins. Oh, Hannah. Hannah's got it. Easily.

SPEAKER_05 45:08

I forfeit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:10

There you go, Hannah.

unknown 45:11

Easily.

SPEAKER_05 45:12

I'm I started sweating. My back hurts thinking about running a mile. What the fuck? Yeah, dude. That shit made me have a lot of shit.

SPEAKER_01 45:19

A mile time might not be at its peak.

SPEAKER_05 45:22

What was your what was your best mile time?

SPEAKER_01 45:24

My best mile time? 624.

SPEAKER_05 45:29

God damn.

SPEAKER_01 45:30

I ran six.

SPEAKER_05 45:33

What's your best one?

SPEAKER_04 45:35

Uh whatever it was like 20 seconds under what you needed to pass boot camp.

SPEAKER_05 45:42

My best one was 13 minutes. I think.

SPEAKER_01 45:46

My most like my last one that I did when I just decided to run that one day was 12 something.

SPEAKER_05 45:53

Oh, we the same. We the same Playboy? Well, you said 13. Get your weight up. Yeah. Get your weight down.

SPEAKER_03 46:00

No, you want to get it.

SPEAKER_05 46:02

Get your wind up.

SPEAKER_01 46:04

I got my inhaler. I'm good.

SPEAKER_05 46:07

It's can I bring it?

SPEAKER_01 46:08

You got asthma?

unknown 46:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:10

Oh, you have fucking sleep apnea. Don't talk about it. That was asthma.

SPEAKER_00 46:15

It just has asthma at night. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:17

But when he sleeps, it's scary.

SPEAKER_06 46:20

No, he's deceased.

SPEAKER_03 46:21

Bro, he dies. Knocking on him in the door every night.

SPEAKER_06 46:27

Hey, hey.

SPEAKER_03 46:30

Do you check on him? Or do you just leave him alone and let him die peacefully? We just leave him. No, no, I watch him. I don't.

SPEAKER_01 46:35

When I spend the night.

SPEAKER_05 46:40

I oh, the other day, the other fucking day, uh, Ollie had my phone and he was laughing so hard, and I wanted to go see what he was laughing at, and it's just a it's just a video of once sleeping on the couch, and it's me zooming into it. And he just fucking dying laughing.

SPEAKER_03 47:00

The worst part's when he stops making that noise. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 47:05

One day he came over our house and he Ubered like a like a responsible adult. Yeah. Dead. And um he sat at our kitchen table and just died. He would go, yes.

SPEAKER_07 47:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 47:21

And it's like, you gotta go, dude.

SPEAKER_01 47:23

I think he regained enough consciousness to like get his Uber.

SPEAKER_05 47:27

Yeah, I was like, please don't fall asleep with the Uber.

SPEAKER_01 47:28

Was deceased again. And then the Uber showed up, and we watched him stumble very aggressively out of our house to just come back in to grab an empty backpack, completely empty, because we never packed any of his stuff back up.

SPEAKER_05 47:45

Yeah, you've left stuff at my house. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:47

You could have just left the backpack. Yeah, we would have given it back to him. Um, and then you stumbled back on out, and the backpack's like fully unzipped, like the top just hanging down. So that's how we knew it was empty, and you just and it's like hanging off your one arm and you stumbled back out and then you disappeared into the night.

SPEAKER_04 48:07

Yes. The nightman did he make it home. Yes, I did. Yeah, he did. He texted. Or did you fall asleep? I fell asleep in the Uber and I woke up at my place. I was like, dude, I'm fucking sorry. I wonder how long you were there for. Where?

SPEAKER_05 48:23

At your house. Just sleep in the back of the easy. He's like, hey guy. Wake up. Hey, buddy.

SPEAKER_03 48:31

He's like this guy. One thing got violated that night. Doesn't know it.

unknown 48:35

What?

SPEAKER_05 48:35

You might be part of the lawsuit.

SPEAKER_04 48:37

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I should look into that. Lol. Pinky in the bottom.

SPEAKER_03 48:41

Damn.

SPEAKER_04 48:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:42

Thumb in or thumb out.

SPEAKER_05 48:44

That's the question. He says it's gay, but he's done it before. Oh.

SPEAKER_03 48:54

All right, let's get to the next one. Okay, next story. So aggressive. I was once proposition for sex at 15 by an adult. Why the sigh? Because they're both.

SPEAKER_01 49:17

They probably propositioned each other. That's a wild take.

SPEAKER_05 49:24

Bro, at 15?

SPEAKER_01 49:26

At 15, I wasn't hanging out with adults.

SPEAKER_05 49:28

Yeah. I don't think that has anything to do with anything.

SPEAKER_01 49:31

So how would an adult proposition me?

SPEAKER_05 49:32

I don't know what to do. They just pull up on you? I don't fucking know.

SPEAKER_01 49:36

You think I was just standing in a prime spot for an adult to pull up and go, hey, would you like to sex with me? People are fucking weird.

SPEAKER_03 49:48

Can I have the story reread? Yeah, you can. I was once propositioned for sex at 15 by.

SPEAKER_01 49:56

Proposition sounds like a word that Winston would use. I don't think he'd use that word.

SPEAKER_05 50:02

Proposition is a big word.

SPEAKER_01 50:05

You'd probably be like, an adult tried to fuck me when I was a teenager.

SPEAKER_05 50:09

When I would say.

SPEAKER_01 50:10

So I'm going, Winston, because Proposition is not a word I would use. I know. I don't think you can spell it. I love you. I've seen you spell supposed. I don't think you wrote proposition.

SPEAKER_04 50:25

I'm walking in as Hannah. Hannah.

SPEAKER_00 50:28

Winnie Pooh.

SPEAKER_04 50:30

Wow. All wrong.

SPEAKER_01 50:34

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 50:35

A big word that I couldn't even. That's a big word for me. I had to make a decision that day if I were gay or not.

SPEAKER_04 50:44

There was a dude?

SPEAKER_05 50:44

Wow. Some homosexual guy pulled up to me in a car and he was like, Well, where are you standing? Huh? Where were you standing? Um, y'all know the zeros over there in College Park?

SPEAKER_01 50:57

So, did you just try to gaslight me into your story being my story? Absolutely. Absolutely. That is the name of the game. That's ridiculous because I have never had anybody pull up on me like that.

SPEAKER_05 51:11

So I was I was in a shopping center. I was like walking to like food line or some shit from my house. And uh some dude pulled up on me. He's like, hey, and I was like, what's up? And he was like, uh, I'd give you a hundred dollars if you let me suck your dick. Wow. And I was like, okay. No, that's what people in the comments are probably gonna say, but I was like, no, I I don't want to. I mean, I didn't know what to do. Told my mom about it.

SPEAKER_03 51:43

What'd she say?

SPEAKER_05 51:44

I couldn't go walking places anymore. I don't know. It was my fault, I guess. I don't fucking know. Yeah, I mean that's insane.

SPEAKER_04 51:54

I have never that day. I've never been approached like that.

SPEAKER_05 51:58

Never? No. You nobody's ever offered you money for sex.

SPEAKER_01 52:04

Not as a teenager and driving up on me.

SPEAKER_05 52:07

I've offered you money for sex. It's called desperation. I was like, hey.

SPEAKER_01 52:13

We don't talk about our sex on the podcast.

SPEAKER_05 52:17

I will transfer it to you. Well, y'all are whack. I guess I was just too sexy as a 15-year-old. Gay men wanted me.

SPEAKER_01 52:25

Bro, I've seen yours. I don't know if that's a flex.

SPEAKER_05 52:29

It is, don't. No, no, it's not. The gays love me. I was a skinny little white kid. Who did it once?

SPEAKER_00 52:38

With glasses.

SPEAKER_05 52:40

I didn't have glasses at 15, buddy. Yeah, I didn't have it at 15, buddy.

SPEAKER_01 52:44

What did you have? Contact playbook. Yeah, contact.

SPEAKER_05 52:47

I got contact. Did have acne. A lot. Like your fucking forehead. I thought we were joking each other. My bad. Wow. Wow. My bows. That's where we were going with my bad. You ever been proposition for sex? Looks like you're walking home. Yeah, I have.

SPEAKER_03 53:05

Oh, what? As an adult, not as a kid. Was it by a man? It was by a woman. I was driving home. A woman. I was driving home.

SPEAKER_02 53:13

She pulled up next to me and goes, blowjob? No, you weren't right wrong. She wanted you to give her a blowjob.

SPEAKER_03 53:20

She wanted to give me a blowjob. So what's that? So what happened? Nothing. Because there were three cops behind me. Felt like it was a setup.

SPEAKER_04 53:31

Yeah, but it's only if you give money. It was just a shitty sting operation. It was.

SPEAKER_05 53:36

It had to be Norfolk.

SPEAKER_02 53:37

No, it was Virginia Beach.

SPEAKER_04 53:40

It was actually a dude with a mustache, a wig on.

SPEAKER_02 53:43

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 53:43

Hello. Hello. Hello. Would you like me to give you oral sex?

SPEAKER_05 53:49

Hello, handsome. How would you like to put your ball sack in my chin?

SPEAKER_03 53:53

No words, though. It was just hand motion. Show us. No.

SPEAKER_07 53:59

Good try. It was like, that's all his face.

SPEAKER_05 54:04

I was like, I'm not doing that. Just show us the motion of an eating hot dog. No. You got it.

SPEAKER_04 54:12

Oh shit. So stupid.

SPEAKER_03 54:19

Drink up, bud.

SPEAKER_05 54:22

Breakthrough. It got caught on the wire. Alright. Yeah, it kind of sucks when we do the stories and like nobody else also has a story, so I guess I shouldn't have brought up prostitution or propositioning. When I wrote that down, this dude was like, what the fuck does this say?

SPEAKER_07 54:43

Like, proposition.

SPEAKER_05 54:45

Propositioning. I'm like, hey, calm down. Yeah. Now you gotta remember how many stories each person had. Why? Because then you should be able to be able to fucking cut people out now.

unknown 55:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 55:03

He's trying to process of eliminate.

SPEAKER_03 55:05

Yeah. That's too smart for him. For who? For you. Proposition was a big word though for you. Yeah. I spelled it correctly too.

SPEAKER_02 55:14

No, you fucking. You did. Just didn't write it real nice and slow. Bro, and that's where T look like an I.

SPEAKER_05 55:21

Yeah, I fucking rushed through shit. You should see me writing down shit at work.

SPEAKER_03 55:26

Yeah, I'm glad I don't have to write anything at work. We ready? Next story. I once fucked my friend's mom while the husband watched. Damn, Winnie.

SPEAKER_04 55:56

Well, that might be true. Well, that might be true. But uh, I ain't never had nobody watch.

SPEAKER_01 56:06

Winston, we literally both immediately pick you. You're not selling us on anybody else.

SPEAKER_04 56:16

I want to go Hannah on this, but I don't, I just don't want to see you in that moment. What?

Underage Drinking On A Boat

SPEAKER_01 56:21

Go for it. Go for it. I don't want to I don't want to hear about the story when you remind him. Do it. I would love to have my tell out.

SPEAKER_03 56:35

Hannah's locking in Winston.

SPEAKER_04 56:38

Come on. But I feel like Hannah might be like using some tactics to like elude.

SPEAKER_01 56:43

Decide.

SPEAKER_03 56:44

It's McGord. Elude. You want the true story?

SPEAKER_05 56:47

You said it like five times today, I don't know. Yes, hasn't it?

SPEAKER_03 56:50

Evade. I need some more drinks. Capsule.

SPEAKER_04 56:53

Fuck! I'm locking in as Brian.

SPEAKER_03 56:56

Lock it in as Brian. Well, when you are correct.

SPEAKER_05 57:07

Um, when I was in my 20s, did a lot of drugs 30 years ago. Yeah. I did a lot of drugs, and uh, I used to live with his family. Uh, that was my best friend at the time. And uh, we did drugs all the time. And one day his dad was like, I like porn. And I was like, Me too. Yeah. Hell yeah. You want to like put some on or something? Like, what's up? He was like, You guys wanna watch porn together? Yeah, whatever.

unknown 57:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 57:42

You've never done a crack, you don't know.

SPEAKER_03 57:44

That's true. I haven't.

SPEAKER_05 57:45

And then um, he was like, I like live porn. And I was like, I don't think I want to be here anymore. And he's like, no, it'd be dope if you fucked my wife while I watched, and I was like, so I did.

SPEAKER_04 58:03

Yeah? Did he join? Huh? Did he join? No.

SPEAKER_05 58:08

No. Just watch. Just smoke crack. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:14

Maybe you shouldn't smoke crack.

SPEAKER_05 58:16

Agreed. Agreed. If this is a PSA, don't smoke crack unless you want to fuck your friend's mom.

SPEAKER_04 58:21

That's right, everybody. Don't smoke crack if you don't want to fuck anyone. That's not right.

SPEAKER_05 58:27

That's not. That's not right. You're gonna have all the kids smoke crack. Yeah, at all.

SPEAKER_01 58:33

Crack is whack.

SPEAKER_05 58:34

Unless you want to run fast, be able to fight for a long time. We're not gonna go. I'm joking. I'll lose your. Yeah, don't smoke crack unless you want to live in Winston's hallway.

SPEAKER_04 58:46

Okay, my apartment's nice. It's just the building. The building's not nice. Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 58:52

Some guy let me in. Didn't even ask questions.

SPEAKER_04 58:55

Right.

SPEAKER_03 58:56

You said what? Some guy just let me in.

SPEAKER_04 58:58

Oh, okay. That's not okay.

SPEAKER_03 58:59

They didn't say anything.

SPEAKER_04 59:01

Did he tell you happy birthday?

SPEAKER_03 59:02

No. I'm glad he did. Because that would have been uh a little weird. No, that that's a cool dude. Yeah. Happy birthday. Some upstairs guy. God bless.

unknown 59:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 59:12

Did you God bless? What? Did you say God bless? No. How'd he talk? I said thank you. He said, You're welcome.

SPEAKER_04 59:19

You're welcome?

SPEAKER_03 59:20

Oh. You're welcome. There's a white guy? No. Black guy.

SPEAKER_04 59:24

I think I'm the only white guy here.

SPEAKER_03 59:26

Huh?

SPEAKER_04 59:27

I think I'm the only white guy here.

unknown 59:29

Really?

SPEAKER_05 59:30

I believe that. I do. Well, except for Larry. Larry?

SPEAKER_04 59:37

The old guy?

SPEAKER_03 59:38

Larry the cable guy?

SPEAKER_04 59:39

Are you talking about um the dude that wanted to give me the C D? Yep. Yeah, no, that's a different building.

SPEAKER_05 59:47

It's all the same shit. No, bro.

SPEAKER_04 59:48

Oh, I was on this building.

SPEAKER_05 59:50

Okay. I'm not gonna argue about it. Why not? We got down. No, I'm not arguing with Winston. Pass.

unknown 59:59

Damn.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:04

You good? The upstairs neighbors are fucking.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:07

I did. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:09

I've been here the whole time. Yeah, it's upstairs. Yeah, they fucking goddamn. It gets shorter and shorter each time. Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:26

Okay. I got my girlfriend so drunk that we had to call her sister to lie for us both, she wouldn't get in trouble. We were both underage. I skipped some words there.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:46

Talk do it over, man.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:48

Here we go. I got my girlfriend so drunk that we had to call her sister to lie for us both so we wouldn't get in trouble. We were both underage.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:59

I'm voting Winston. I don't think he's told enough stories.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:03

Winston.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:05

Well, Hannah wouldn't have had a girlfriend.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:08

How do you know?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:10

Do you know my sexuality? Oh my god, are we doing this? Yes. It's 2026. Bold of you to assume that I've never had a girlfriend.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:21

We're gonna talk about that later.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:26

I'm going Brian. Sounds like some crackhead shit to me.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:30

Yeah. Winnie the Pooh. Logging in. Well, Hannah and Brian.

unknown 1:01:40

Correct!

SPEAKER_05 1:01:42

Were you still thinking about picking Hannah even though you knew it was you?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:48

He was trying to sell us so. I'm trying to sell so good, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_05 1:01:51

It could be Hannah.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:53

Um, yeah, dude. Um so it was me and my ex-wife, and we had taken my boat out.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:06

Why in the story is it your ex-girlfriend, but now it's your ex-wife?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:09

Well, because in the boat. We were in the game.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:12

You said you were underage. Now you're talking about my ex-wife from the boat.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:15

Well, I'll tell you.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:17

Tell a fucking story.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:18

No, there's discrepancies.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:19

Let him get to the meat and potatoes. At the point, we were boyfriend, girlfriend, but we knew we wanted to get married. I hadn't gone to boot camp yet, and blah, blah, blah. We got married after boot camp. So, anyway, this is why we were in high school. So, after school one day, we took my boat out, and we uh had a good old bottle of something I ain't drank since that day. Southern comfort. Aristocrat. Aristocrat vodka. And, you know, I drank my fair share, and I, you know, I was just having a good time, but she had gotten to a point where she was just like sitting in a beach chair on this little island and just like fucking knocking it back like she was dealing with some shit type shit. Yeah, it was you, it wasn't fucking me. Dealing with some other shit. I'm not a fucking bad person. We know we're joking with it. I don't know. I'm not a bad person. I'm just saying, she was dealing with some shit. I don't fucking know. Probably your dad. It's like leave my son alone. I don't know. Whatever she was dealing with that day is probably why she decided to be a stripper prostitute while I was gone on the porn.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:35

Stripper prostitute.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:37

We don't shame sex workers.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:38

No, I don't shame unless you're married. You can't be a prostitute if you're married. We were married. If you haven't had a discussion. Anyways, anyways, like yeah, anyways, go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:49

And she was taking all of my paychecks and had a boyfriend.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:52

Okay, anyway, get back to the moral of the story here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:55

Yeah. So anyway, she got so drunk and she was throwing up everywhere, and like I had to take her back to her grandparents' house, and I was like, can't fucking do that. And so, like, I'm in this fucking flounder boat, and I'm like, all right, babe, we gotta go. And so I get her in the flounder boat, I put a life jacket on her, and I'm like, she falls over, like, you know, she gotta be able to float. And she's throwing up over the side of the flounder boat, and I'm fucking hauling ass. I'm on the phone, I'm like calling her sister, and I tell her sister, I was like, hey, we're kind of fucked up. She's fucked up. We need some help. And so, anyway, her sister met us at the boat ramp. Her sister met us at the boat ramp and uh took her to her house, and uh they came up with some kind of little lie. I don't remember what the fuck it was, but they uh yeah, got off scot-free. How old were you?

SPEAKER_05 1:04:56

We were we were like 17, 18. Okay, this wasn't the same time as you being a pizza delivery guy and wrecking the truck, huh? First of all, didn't wreck the truck.

Sleep Apnea, Uber Naps, And Bits

SPEAKER_04 1:05:05

Didn't wreck the truck. But uh no, it was kind of actually around that time. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:14

Probably had that bottle of aristocrat with him.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:17

Right. Did you go home? Yeah. Pops didn't know nothing.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:25

Yeah, I don't really remember much after that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:28

Yeah. You got a drunk story?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:34

I've been drunk. I've been hung over. The older I get, the worse it gets.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:42

I got the baby shower one, of course. Everybody knows that one.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:45

That's a good one. You got ripped my mirror off. I don't know that one.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:48

I got drunk at the baby shower, went to a strip club and took the keys so I couldn't leave.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:53

Yep. From the baby shower. Mm-hmm. So you left towards the baby shower.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:57

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:58

We're gonna do the same at your baby shower. Oh yeah, I gotta send it to you.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:02

We're gonna be fucking hammered at your baby's hour.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:04

We're gonna get hammered. I still gotta get the liquor license, bro. You gotta get what? What? Yeah, the place like you gotta get your own liquor license. Yeah, you can just get a one-day one. That is. It's like 30 bucks. Yeah. Yeah, I probably should get on that.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:18

Probably.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:19

I've been slacking on everything.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:21

Um well. Are you gonna be selling alcohol? No. Anyways.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:28

It should probably be D Y O B. Bring your own booze, cuz we know what it means.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:35

I'm gonna bring my own breast. Hey, you already got them on your chest. You're good.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:41

Um when's the last time that I've been really drunk? I'm pretty good now that when I get drunk, I leave the situation. Like when we get fucked up at Eagle's Nest, I could tell when I'm fucked up and I'm like, gotta go. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:57

It's because you're older.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:58

Didn't y'all literally just get drunk like a couple weeks ago and do a podcast together? We weren't drunk. Yeah, we weren't drunk. I saw clips of it. Y'all were hammered. Nah, I was just dressed. Y'all literally spent 30 minutes on camera watching TikToks on the PC.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:11

Hey, it's okay. We get done. This motherfucker asleep. I was asleep. Yeah. He was tired.

unknown 1:07:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:19

I thought he died on the couch.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:20

When me and Hannah did ours, he was like, Yeah, bro. I want to control the thing. And then passed out in the living room. Control the soundboard. Nah. He's like, I'll be your engineer.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:32

We literally both had a moment where we made eye contact across the table because we could hear him on and off snoring.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:38

Yeah. I think that's why they made the one that took the video.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:41

Maybe. Probably, because we tried to be like, hey, we're leaving. Right. You were deceased. So we didn't left. I was like, what do you want me to clean up? He's like, no, then just leave.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:51

I was like, alrighty. Yeah. Unfortunately. Well, when we did ours, he fell asleep on the couch. Like, I'm leaving. Okay. Yeah. We're down to the last story.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:03

We are. It's been a fun ride.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:05

It has been a fun ride. This is actually uh been a fun ride.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:11

Thank you, Winston.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:13

Thank you, Winston.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:14

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:17

Yeah. We'll have to get you a trash can.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:21

I cleaned up today so I could do this. You cleaned up so you can do this? Yeah. We'll come back next time. They'll just still be there. Just more.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:28

Give them the grabbers so he doesn't have to bend over. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:32

Built a door out of them.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:36

That's my beer door.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:38

It'll be like uh, you know, the beads that you gotta walk through. It should be your cans.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:41

How come nobody bugged that anymore? The beads? Yeah. I think they were a hazard.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:46

You know, I think once you like start having kids and stuff, well, and kids it should have been a hazard.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:52

I think it had to do with the hippie era. And I got to think about this when I was in the shower today.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:57

Oh, here we go.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:59

I think what we need today is we need the hippies to come back. I think now is a good time to bring back the same mentality that we had in the 70s of just nothing but peace and love. There's too much hate in the world right now between our own fellow Americans and our own fellow fellow people that we live next door to. And we just need to bring back peace and love, and we just need kind of like a hippie movement in a sense.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:25

We're trying to bring back everything from the 70s, or not. We are born in the 70s.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:31

Not everything. No, no, no. There's just the peace and love aspect.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:36

So you were born in the 70s?

SPEAKER_05 1:09:38

No.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:39

No, he just read about it. He did in the history book?

SPEAKER_05 1:09:42

In our book. Probably the one he's reading now.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:46

You're reading a book?

SPEAKER_04 1:09:47

I'm reading a book. What book is it? May Day.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:50

Okay, what's it about?

SPEAKER_04 1:09:51

So it's about this aircraft. Why the fuck would you ask him a question? Because we gotta keep this going. It's about a supersonic aircraft, uh, commercial jet.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:00

Is this book for school?

SPEAKER_04 1:10:02

No. You should probably read a book that's for school. I have to pee.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:05

Did you ask me if he goes to school? I said, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:08

Because when we went to school together, I'm gonna go pee.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:11

We uh didn't really go to school. Yeah, what y'all do? Drink, go pee, man.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:16

Hey, hey, when you're up, can you get me some beer?

SPEAKER_05 1:10:19

Hold on. No, no, go. You go to go to the bathroom. You go. So you're telling me that y'all went to ATI together or AMI? Yeah, aim. Aim. Just fucking go to the bathroom, man. And more beer. So when y'all when y'all went to that school, y'all didn't actually go to class?

SPEAKER_03 1:10:35

So we went to the regular classes, then we graduated. Right. And then we just started drinking and partying.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:43

Yeah, that's a normal thing.

unknown 1:10:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:45

You made it sound like y'all went to school to we literally talk about going to school together, and you said we partied the whole time, and then you're telling me now you graduated. I mean, we did drink here and there in the parking lot. When we were going to school. I'm glad y'all were going to school to be pilots. I would have probably passed that one, no problem. Yeah? Think so?

SPEAKER_05 1:11:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:07

Why? Why? Yeah. I mean, I can take off and land. We hope, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:14

Not the we hope. Oh, man.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:19

That makes me feel good. So y'all both graduated from the same school? So did you get your job from the school?

SPEAKER_03 1:11:24

No.

School, Trade Paths, And Life Detours

SPEAKER_05 1:11:26

So did school help at all with your job? Fuck no. That's insane. The school's a waste of money. Yeah, school normally is. Stay in school, kids. I think it's good for when you graduate high school to go to college just to have that college experience. Especially if you get to stay in the dorm and shit like that. What do you think, Hannah?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:46

I didn't do that.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:47

Did you just do that? Do you wish you did? Did I?

SPEAKER_03 1:11:50

Yeah. No, I wish. So none of us went to college.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:53

I'm a big supporter of trade school.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:56

Trade school's good.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:57

Because I don't like having to take classes that don't pertain.

unknown 1:12:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:02

If I'm not a math major, why the fuck am I taking this math class that I'm now stressed over on top of all my other classes? And I think it's bullshit and it's a waste of money for me to pay for a class that I don't need for a degree. So Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:19

No, I agree. I went to community college. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Math. I was going for engineering. Was it CCC? Yep. Yeah. Wasn't taking any of my classes I needed for engineering. Dude.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:33

Yeah, CCC is good to take those core classes basically, but I mean now they got the fucking um you can go do like technical shit there now. They got like diesel tech shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:44

Those motherfuckers make money.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:45

Yeah, and all they and literally at the school all you do is go for the program and you just take those classes. No maths, no Englishes, no sciences. You just take diesel tech classes. Maybe I'll go back.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:00

Thanks, bud. Right. Gotta go to the go pee. Bring back some beer.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:09

That's right.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:11

Thanks, Winston. At least that's how many went to the bathroom and we didn't have to cut anything. That's true, we kept it rolling.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:23

Did you go to college?

SPEAKER_04 1:13:25

Um fuck. So my college story is a long story.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:30

So you went to college.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:32

Everything's a long story, Winston. Jesus Christ. Just get to the moral of it.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:38

I'm currently in college. Did you go after high school? No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:44

Not the question. Did you go after high school?

SPEAKER_04 1:13:46

What?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:47

Did you go after high school?

SPEAKER_03 1:13:48

Did you go after high school?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:49

Yeah, he's not in high school now.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:52

Like fresh out.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:53

Fresh out of high school.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:54

No, I joined the Navy.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:55

Okay. He defended your freedom. That's right.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:59

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:00

Not mine. Have you seen pictures of him when he was in? I know.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:05

It was skinny. Yeah, I'm the one who made him that big. Sushi King. Mission barbecue. Some wings. Oh, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:18

I watched Hunter down 64 wings at Wild Wing Cafe in one setting.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:24

Did it make you feel sick?

SPEAKER_03 1:14:26

And a pitcher of beer.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:27

I would have looked at that and looked at you do that shit. I'd have been like, no. I never had an appetite before, too. What's the most you ate, Winston? 30? Yeah. 40? No, I wouldn't say 40. Because you would do the 20 and 20, right? I have 20 and 20. Yeah, but I don't think I would finish that. Bro, I struggle with five.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:49

Really?

SPEAKER_05 1:14:50

I get 10 and I'm just like. No, I'm big because I love sweets. That's my biggest downfall of sweets. I literally had a Twinkie and two cookies today.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:59

Is that all I've eaten today? No. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:02

And also I had three boiled eggs, two meat sticks, two cheese sticks, um, chicken salad. I eat really good. Dog, I just realized I haven't eaten in all today. Oh, so you're faded right now.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:16

I mean hammered. Hammered. No! Take a shot. You need to do. Alright, let's listen to that.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:25

Let's get to that last story.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:27

Last story. Is that better? Yeah, that's fine. That was good. That wasn't that short. Okay, here we go. Last story. One time when I was a kid, my aunt left the bathroom door open when I walked past the door.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:51

You know, I pre-rand these and I can't even finish them.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:56

Y'all haven't even heard the story.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:58

No, listen, I know about his upbringing. We don't have a lot of good family stories, alright?

SPEAKER_03 1:16:06

When I walked past the door, she was standing in front of the mirror naked. Is it there? It's still more, but I pre-read these two, and I'm still laughing at it. Thank you, honey. It was the first moves I ever saw. I didn't know pepperoni nipples could be so big. I got scared because I thought that since we were related, I would end up with salami nipples.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:36

Winston. You wanna know why I think it's Winston? Because it was the longest fucking supposed to be like four words. This motherfucker told the whole story on a piece of paper. In a paragraph. This is Brian. Someone did.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:50

This might be Hannah. It's Brian. I dropped the other card.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:54

Listen, I'm gonna defend your honor because I know your upbringing. Winston knows your fucking upbringing.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:59

Was your uh aunt weepy?

SPEAKER_03 1:17:07

Are we locked in? Lock it in. Brian and Hannah.

unknown 1:17:12

Correct!

SPEAKER_03 1:17:14

Yeah. Yeah, tell the whole story now.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:19

He doesn't need to retell what's on the card. It's okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:22

All right, so one time I'm gonna hold on. Let me see the card real quick. So yeah, no, uh, one time I was dude, I was so young. But like I don't know, six. Okay. But um, yeah, my uh aunt and her kids all stayed in like a double wide out in Dunn, North Carolina. And uh my birth mother used to take me there like every fucking weekend. I just remember like so the back door. Bro, I just remembered Let the man tell the story. So the back door, so yeah, the like the kitchen, and then if you walked hot dog ways down the trailer hot dog ways? Long ways down the trailer, you pass the washing machines, and then there was the door for the back door.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:12

So what do you call the other way? Hamburger. Hamburger. Oh, yeah. You're making me hungry.

Pepperoni Panic And Final Scores

SPEAKER_04 1:18:17

Uh well, I got tacos stuff in there. Um, but if you walk hot dog way down the down from the kitchen, you pass the shits for the fucking clothes washing. Yeah, and then there's a back door, and I was walking towards the back door to go outside, and before you got the back door, to the left was the bathroom, and the door was cracked open. I just looked over while I was walking, and there was my aunt with her fucking tits. And I was like, those are tits. But she had really big fucking like I mean she had kids, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:55

Yeah, probably a litter of them motherfuckers.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:57

She had a litter.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:59

Um, but yeah, and I remember just being worried that like I was gonna have salami nipples.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:06

Do you?

SPEAKER_04 1:19:07

Do you know? No.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:10

I don't we gotta do this now. I've never seen a family member naked. No. Oh really? No. I mean, I didn't grow up with much family, so I mean, it's not like it was planned. No, no, no, nobody's judging you. I didn't plan this shit! It just fucking happened! What's that's like Alright, she's in the bathroom and her shirt should be off now. Oh no. Not your boobies. How can we stop calling tits boobies? I like boobies better. Boobies is better. Let me suck on your boobies.

unknown 1:19:47

No.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:48

You know how to scare a bee. That's not how you scare a bee. Alright. We have reached the end. We have. Hunter.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:03

Tell us the score. Pretty close, I would say. For two people. So we have Winston's about to crash out. I want y'all to know that. He's like, tacos? No one's eating. He's gonna be asleep. So we got seven, five, and four. What? Brian has seven. Hannah has five. And Winston has four. Damn. So two people were close. It was y'all. You know the best part is though? I put Brian on top and he still won. That's right, baby. I wrote it in order, apparently.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:39

That's right. Predetermined. Rigged. Rigged. How do y'all feel? How do y'all feel about this? Like, was it fun? I had a good time. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Debrief, Quotes, And Closing Bits

SPEAKER_04 1:20:52

That's right, Brian. I had a great time here. We had a great time here doing the story wars. Uh, we all got to learn a little bit of each other and have a little guessing game at the same time while keeping score. Brian at the top, Hannah coming in second place, and Winston in third. Hunter did a great job over here on the soundboard. Let's give it over. Hunter, everybody. Clap your fucking hands, Hannah. Okay, my bad. My bad. My bad. No, uh, I think the story wars actually went really well. I think maybe next time we rotate it a little bit and have Hunter when he's allowed to come over.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:33

I'm on house arrest.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:35

Uh come over and input his stories, and we gotta mix it up a little bit. That way it's not the same bunch doing it.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:43

Um Xavier and make him snitch on himself. It's like one time I was walking by the bathroom. Some nipples.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:57

But yeah, no, uh it would have been Winston's nipples because Winston was in the hall bathroom.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:03

They did share a bathroom at one point. I remember when X was flushing his fucking underwear down the toilet.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:10

He flushed everything down the toilet. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:14

Yeah, clogged it up real bad. Almost passed out. Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:19

One thing about Winston, he loves to hear himself talk. He does. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:24

Especially when they started drinking.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:26

I don't like hearing myself talking.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:27

Ryan literally was like, all right, how'd you feel about that? And then looked at me so I could talk. And you said, oh, that's right, Ryan.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:36

Yeah, because that's the ongoing joke that we have. How did you like it, Hannah?

SPEAKER_01 1:22:42

I'm Fuck. What? What's up, Winnie Poop? What's up?

SPEAKER_03 1:22:48

You gotta pee again? You gotta shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:50

No, talk it out. It's okay. I've already paused. It's alright.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:55

You said shit. So you already interrupted. Don't unplug it. You have to say you have to say the quote. Did you have fun, Hannah?

SPEAKER_01 1:23:08

Well, you know, I got to.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:14

You got to what?

SPEAKER_01 1:23:16

Listen to Winston, yeah. Well, that's his podcast, so my one good ear.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:26

Anybody got a quote? Winston? Alright, this is we'll make for the podcast. Why don't you plug your mic back in so we can talk, buddy? Because you forgot about the quote.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:45

At least he found the hole. Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:49

You got a story about that too, don't you worry?

SPEAKER_05 1:23:53

No, Brian, I'm sorry. I do not have a quote for this video. Anybody got a quote? Anybody want to end with a quote?

SPEAKER_03 1:24:02

You got it.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:03

Oh, I got it. All right, that's right. That's the quote. You got it. Once you got it. I'm gonna um I'm gonna tell y'all a small story for my quote. Okay. Um is it short? Yeah, no, it is short. It is short.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:18

So if you start at his front door, you can't get away from the door.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:22

You're gonna keep over talking to me, Hannah? Yeah. Um, no. Um, so I called Winston earlier today. I'm like, hey, definitely want to do the story wars, don't want to back out on that and everything. I was like, but my kid, this is gonna be a grandma's house. Right? And he said, that's fine. I said, so I'm gonna have to kind of scoot out of there so I can go pick him up. And he told me, once they got him, they got him. That's the quote.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:50

They're not gonna put him out there in the elements.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:53

You don't know that.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:54

You don't know that. They might. Was your kid that bad? Sometimes he's a fucking terrorist.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:02

All right. That's right. You heard it here first, folks.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:07

God damn it, Winston. End of that note. Alright.

SPEAKER_08 1:25:24

Cheering our mind, talking about nothing, and all we can find. Winston is bright, they're keeping it real. Just two little balls with plenty of still. Until two three. It's just toxic.