Just Talking Unfiltered

Golf Carts, Glizzies, And Chaos

• Winston and Brian • Episode 20

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Sloppy Opener And Cast Away Tangent

SPEAKER_01

Welcome back to Just Talking Unfiltered. Today we have a wild story for you. Absolutely wild. You won't believe this.

SPEAKER_08

What's up, everybody? We're Black and Crack, and welcome back to another episode of Just Talking Unfiltered. I think this is our 20th episode, Ryan.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, shit. Yeah. If y'all can't tell, Winston is drunk. Drunk as a skunk.

SPEAKER_08

Trying to get crunk. Yeah, what's been up? Dog? Doggy style is the best. Yeah. I agree. You know. I don't know. Now that I've gotten bigger, I feel like it's still good. You can't see as much. Right. Yeah. Right. I'm like, boom, boom. And I'm like, it's just my stomach. Right. All I see is my stomach. Yeah, you gotta go way out. Right. Like, hey. That's how that shit gets jammed in between. That's the worst.

SPEAKER_06

I don't want to do it anymore.

SPEAKER_08

You ever jam your finger playing basketball?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

You ever jam your dick fucking? Yeah. Yeah. One time I jammed my dick on the basketball. Why were you trying to fuck basketball? I was a teenager, baby. I was playing basketball with my dick. Wilson! All of your all of your they all sound the same. That was Tom Hanks. Hanks. I almost said Cruz. And Castaway. Yeah. Sounds just like your Doug Heffernan. Sounds just like your Hat Sauce King. No, no. Definitely does not sound like the Hat Sauce. Sounds like your Fred Durst. He's just one of those days. They all sound the same, dog. No, it doesn't. Alright. Y'all be the judge. Um, make this a clip. It's like I heard my name. Dude, you want to pay your bill. You want to know a fun fact?

SPEAKER_06

I love fun facts.

SPEAKER_08

All right, I like to call them. You know how aviation is a huge part of who I am?

SPEAKER_06

Right.

Golf Cart Antics And Getting Kicked Out

SPEAKER_08

You want to know what got me into aviation? Um. Sure. Cast away. Why? So I don't know. Something about the plane crash and like FedEx and everything. Like as a child, I was like, I want to fly for FedEx when I grow up. They're like, I want to crash a plane when I grow up. But I don't want to crash the plane. I was like, that's terrible. Right. But I do want to fly for FedEx.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

You've always talked about that. Well, I mean, I still do. Yeah. Um, and it is for the next couple years, I guess, still an option. Why only a couple years? Well, because, you know, I'm 30 something now, and you know, you can't really like make gigantic career changes. Why? In the middle of your life. Why not? Uh, because you know uh the risk versus reward benefit, you know. Uh sometimes the risk outweighs the benefits. Never. Um, but you know, also doing what you love.

SPEAKER_06

Um always outweigh everything.

SPEAKER_08

Exactly. Love overpowers. But I don't know. We'll see. We'll we'll we'll see what comes through the turnpikes and everything. The turnpikes comes down the comes down the pipeline. Right, there you go. Whatever. The turnpikes. Whatever comes down the let's play it, let's play a clip to start the show, man. How about we play a clip to start the show, Brian? All right.

SPEAKER_07

Oh shit. Just so you know, this is not in our headphones at all.

SPEAKER_08

I've done that. Yeah, we've done that. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_07

Not that we're still on the gun.

unknown

What the fuck? Holy shit.

SPEAKER_08

I love him with the holy shit. Oh, yeah. Like that's it's fucking insane. That was fuck great, dude. The whole squealing the fucking tires loud as shit, dude. I've done that so many times over at Ocean View. Like, I'll just be like rolling up behind, like, it'll be a group of us. Right. Four. They'll have their cart and I'll come up behind them. Skr. They're like, the fuck are you doing? I'm like, nothing, dude. What's up? Let's shoot your shot, dude. Dog. Me, Buddha, and uh Knox got kicked out of Kimpsville once. We um, dude, uh shouldn't drink when you play golf. I don't know. You definitely should. Yeah, but in moderation. Right. Because we got faded. Faded? Yeah, we got faded. Can't wait to hear about this.

SPEAKER_07

Let's go.

unknown

Yup.

SPEAKER_08

That's how I do, baby.

unknown

Yup, yo.

SPEAKER_01

Yo, it's Winston and Brian, the unfiltered crew. Fat bearded legends with opinions for you. Texas laughs, no filter, no cap, or drink, take a seat. We just talk and rap. Winston in the corner with the whiskey in his fist, Ryan yelling loud. Every topic gets dissed. Beard so thick, they can smuggle the brisket. Voices boomin' harder than the 12 minutes sub kick. Grab your low scar. We ain't polite. Welcome to the show. It's a bar fight tonight. Just talking nuts, but the no rules, no shame. Two fat boys taking over the game. Texas E. Texas beats, grab a mic and ignite. It's winst in the bike, keep it raw, keep it tight. Just talking nuts, but the no rules, no shame. Two fat boys taking over the game. Texas E, Texas beats, grab a mic and ignite. It's Winston and Ryan, keep it raw, keep it tight. Ryan got the volume of a megaphone riot. Winston got the booze, but his liver stay quiet. Topics jump wild like a bull in the shoe. From brisket to politics, no subjects move. Barbecue stains on a microphone grip.

SPEAKER_08

Move, baby.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, so we got faded. Okay. Right? And um, like ninth hole. I think we went in and bought like mixed drinks or something. We had beers, but we were fucked up. And I remember we got to like hole eleven. Right.

Ocean View Upgrades And Par-Three Shotguns

SPEAKER_08

And I turned in the T-box and just shot that shit into the into the road. God damn, dude. And then I pulled up on Nox's ball on like 12, and I ran up to his ball and just chipped that bitch into the water. And uh, dude, we fucking pit maneuvered him in the golf cart. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05

And that's just like that.

SPEAKER_08

And everybody looked, and I was like, fuck y'all. Y'all act like y'all can't never have no fun. That's not what got us kicked out. You know what it was? Probably somebody sucking too many hot dogs. Nope. Knox decided.

SPEAKER_07

Knox decided it would be a great idea to run into the back of me as I was putting the golf cart into the garage.

SPEAKER_08

And we just fucking hit everything. We just ran. And they told us not to come back ever again. The fun of the how do they tell you? They just like knocked on your car window. No, they were like, don't ever come back. Jesus Christ, dude. So we could probably go back. Yeah. They don't remember that. Um or I'll walk in and there's just a picture of me, and I'm like, I'm like fucking Osama bin Laden. They've been looking for me. I'm like, fuck.

SPEAKER_07

Right.

SPEAKER_08

Zero Dark 30 out this bitch. We got him. Right. There were dogs. Right. Massive, beautiful dogs. What? Beautiful dogs, they got him. Right. Um. Sounds just like do carry in the Donald Trump accent. Carrie. Now do carry. Let me get a donut. You know I would like to have one of those scrumptious, beautiful donuts.

SPEAKER_06

Now do hat sauce king. Donald Trump hat sauce king.

SPEAKER_08

I'm gonna throw my hat up in the air, and I'm going to catch it on my head. And I'm not gonna lie too. Yeah, it's decent. Yeah, that's something. That's yeah, solid. Well, um, dude, the last time I played golf um over here at Ocean View, we had a good time, me and some co-workers. And um, I definitely had a story to tell about this, but I fucking forgot what it was. Really? Ma'am. Um I know one of their golf carts died and it could only go in reverse at one point. So they had to like reverse for a little bit.

SPEAKER_07

Jesus.

SPEAKER_08

Uh but OceanView has stepped up their game, dude. They've got these touch screens. Now you can order food from the clubhouse on the fucking golf cart. Yeah, I was like, hi dog, baby. All right, let me give my phone with them, Jake. No, yeah. Um, but no, we had this one dude, Curtis, he went up to swing and we had just given him a driver because he didn't have a driver. So we had like an old driver. Somebody gave him one. We were on like whole fucking seven or whatever. Right. And he fucking teed up, swung that jank. And the fucking the head of the driver club went farther than the ball. It snapped, it snapped off of the stick that you hold. Jeez. Um another thing that that I implement when we play golf now is uh par three shotguns. Okay. So anytime there's a par three, you got a shotgun before you tee up.

SPEAKER_06

The reason that the course is so slow.

SPEAKER_08

No. No. Some say it might be as why it's so fast.

SPEAKER_06

Right.

Late-Night DoorDash And The Blizzard Debate

SPEAKER_08

Because you shotgun so fast and you're like, whoa. You get hype and you go, and then you just say, fuck it. I don't want to do this whole. That's normally what happens with me. I get I'm telling you, man, I get like the 11 and I'm like, I'm done. Yeah. I'm like, I didn't go anywhere. I'm out. Y'all finish it. I'll be in the cart. 18 is it it's easy to stay professional-ish in the first nine. Yeah. Once you start hitting like 11 and 12, you're like, what the fuck are we doing? I'm fucking faded, dude. Right. Let's tear some shit up. I want to go to sleep. Like try trying to drive the golf cart across the lake. Right. I thought this thing was an amphibian. Right. Yeah. Golfing's fun as fuck, though. I I dude, I'm excited for the warmer weather. Uh, I've got a couple buddies on my shift right now who I did used to go play golf with. We've been on different shifts for a while. Right. And so we've been talking. We're like, hey, warmer weather's coming. We got Oce View right here. They're like, yeah, let's after work, we'll go. We'll see if that actually fucking happens. Right. Um Right. They've been known to I mean, not I don't know about them, but your whole entire job has been known to just bail. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, well, I'll be there. We're supposed to go to like top golf and they ended up going bowling instead. Yeah. Yeah. The one dude, he he was still for it, but he's like, I don't want to just really go with just me and you. Right, it's kind of gay. Yeah, I was like, I feel that. I was like, I'll just go home and take a shit or something. Right. And uh he was like, yeah, do that. I was like, all right, cool. So speaking of shitting. Yeah. You ever shit, then get done, wipe up, get all cleaned up, have to shit again. And have to shit again? Have to shit again. That's why I take longer shits, because I don't like I like to wait until I know my body's done. What if you don't have time for that? Like I I drive a truck. So I stopped and took a shit this morning and then got up, walked like towards the register, and I was like, gotta go back. Round two, baby. Round two never happens that fast for me. I would recommend speaking with a medical professional. Nah, it only happens every now and then. That's how it starts. Like once a year. That's how it starts. No. That's how it starts. Probably just ate something fucked up yesterday. What did I eat yesterday? That's how it starts.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, I had that Japanese food in the mall. And then I had sheets on the way home. And it made me have to sheet. You ate bed sheets? Yeah. Yeah. What's been new with you? Anything new?

SPEAKER_08

Dude. Anything new and improved? Um, new and improved? I don't know about that, but I do know that I have been doing absolutely nothing different than what I was doing last time. Yeah. I thought you started a new diet. Oh, yeah. Kind of. Okay. I'd be fucking up. No, not you, Winston. Last night I had a sonic blast, dude. Love Sonic Blast. Dude. What's better? Blizzard. Sonic Blizzard. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. No, I'm Blizzard. Sonic Blast, Blizzard. Or McFlurry. The Blizzard. An Oreo McFlurry is superior if you're going Oreo route. No. Yes. No, because what you do is you get the Oreo blizzard and you toss in some marshmallow. No, no, no, no, no, no. We're not talking about old goddamn extra shit that you did because you worked there. Listen. Marshmallow. Listen, the best, the best ice cream type thing like that is Dairy Queen. Let me tell you why. Because it's in the name. It's their one thing that they have to do. It's the only thing that they're really good at because it's in the name. Dairy? Dairy Queen. Yeah, they could just be giving out milk. Right, but like it's their specialty. I'm gonna tell you why.

SPEAKER_06

I'm gonna tell you why.

SPEAKER_08

I'll tell you why. I know why. Nobody wants that fucking sonic cup. Nobody wants that fucking sticky ass styrofoam cup in their hand. Well, they they've gone away from styrofoam. Have they fucking finally? Yeah. I hate that. I mean, you grab it a little bit too hard, fucking thumb go through the fucking cup. Now you got blizzard, yeah, Oreo Blast, whatever the fuck it's called. Yeah. So yeah, uh, they definitely have gone away from that, I've noticed. Um, so what what happened was um I've started door dashing on the side.

SPEAKER_07

Um I haven't done anything new since last time I talked to y'all.

Top Five Glizzies Countdown Chaos

SPEAKER_08

Right. I I haven't door dashed in like a year and a half, but this past weekend I was like, ah, fuck it. Let me go make money this weekend. Right, right, right, right, right, right. And I did, I did, I did substantially well. But last night I went out for literally just an hour from like eight to nine last night. But on my way out, I was like, I want something to drink. And I was like, fuck it. Let me drive to Sonic. And I drove to Sonic, right? Got myself a drink, and um, it was not in a styrofoam cup, it was in a plastic cup. And then I did my DoorDash and whatnot, got home, and then I was home for about an hour. And around like 11 o'clock, I was like, fuck, I'm kinda hungry. I wish kind of would have got me a Sonic Sonic Glizzy. Am I making you tired over there, Brian? No, no, sorry. Sorry, no. Um just tired in general, dog. You know me. Right, right, right, right, right, right, right. And so, anyway, I ordered a glizzy and a sonic blast on DoorDash. And did you dip that glizzy in the blast? Oh god, no. Oh. No. But anywho, it came in plastic instead of styrofoam. So uh well, Dairy Queen might have a run for their money. Doubtful. Oh, Dairy Queen doesn't even have hot dogs anymore, do they? Yes. You literally just had some a couple weeks ago. When? When? A couple weeks ago when we did an episode. You literally went to Dairy Queen. No, got two dogs and a blizzard. No. If you mean like last summer when we first started, yeah. It wasn't last summer when we first started. They still have fucking glizzies. Alright. I did a delivery for them last night. Okay. And one of the things was a glizzy. You ever put your dick in a hot dog bud? Didn't we talk about we've already talked about this? So have you or not? I don't give a fuck. That's a question. Yeah. We have never talked about this. Why was your dick in a hot dog bun? No, no, no. We this is this is in one of the very first episodes we talked about, but yeah. Dick in a hot dog boom was brought up. Okay. Yeah. Was it sexual? Is that mayonnaise? It's gum. No, it definitely wasn't like that. Oh. I think this wasn't in the Dairy Queen episode. Just fucking tell me what happened. I remember.

SPEAKER_06

I hated here so fucking much.

SPEAKER_08

You had to go back and listen to our top five Dairy Queen orders on the Dairy Queen episode. It wasn't in the top five Dairy Queen orders, it was the top five blizzards. Now we gotta do the top five glizzies. Top five Dairy Queen orders. Dog top five glizzies. We have to. We have to. Ready? We haven't done it in so fucking long. Oh, I'm so excited. Do you even know five places with glizzies? I appreciate the beers. I just would rather add two of those. This one. This one's uh is it a fruit bunch? No, no, no. The fruit IPA is my preferred. This Imperial IPA is you're welcome. Thank you. Yeah. Number five. Number five. Number five. Um I'm gonna say number five is 7 Eleven hot dogs. Really? Number five. Number five. Okay. Number five. Yeah. I'm gonna go with um. Some wild. Buffalo Wild Wings. Um number five glizzy for me. I'm gonna say um ballpark. Oh.

SPEAKER_06

Okay.

SPEAKER_08

Okay. Number four. Uh number four is ballpark. That was literally gonna be my next answer. Okay.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

What's yours? Oh shit. Mine. Um, number four for me. We've done the countdown so. I'm gonna say, I will say for my number four, Brian. It's gonna be five guys.

SPEAKER_06

Alright. I don't know. Five guys always makes me laugh.

SPEAKER_08

Have you had five guys? Because all of them are hilarious. Have you ever had five guys? No. No, I haven't. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. Number three. I'm gonna go with um Dairy Queen.

SPEAKER_08

De Quizzle.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, Dairy Queen's number three.

SPEAKER_08

Uh for my number three. I am gonna go with a local joint called Frank's. Oh yeah. Frank's hot dogs. Uh really good out here in Ocean View. They have some substantial dogs, some of them consisting of being loaded up with mac and cheese and others being topped off with barbecue.

Big Guy Struggles And NASCAR Rants

SPEAKER_06

Okay. You're drunk.

SPEAKER_08

Umber two. My bad.

SPEAKER_07

My bad. Number two. Fuck it. My bad. My bad. You're sorry.

SPEAKER_08

Number two. Number two is gonna be Sonic. Sonic Lane.

SPEAKER_06

Sonic foot long to be precise. Chili and cheese dog.

SPEAKER_08

Love a good chili cheese dog. This way. Um I'm gonna go with that joint that's outside of Lowe's, Dominic's. They have hot dogs there? Yeah. I mean hot sausage, hot dogs. Actually, you know what? Take that back. I'm gonna go with um famous. Famous. Famous. Uncle Als.

SPEAKER_06

There you go.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. All right. Number number one. Uh number one for me is what I think you were trying to say earlier when you said Franks and Doug's.

SPEAKER_07

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_08

That's a Frank's? Yeah. God damn it. I meant Doug's, everybody. Doug's hot dogs. Hey, man, I'll let it ride. I was like, fuck it. Fuck it. I'll bring it up later. Yeah. Doug's hot dogs. Yeah, Doug's is number one for me. Not Frank's. I don't know who Frank is. When you said Frank's, and I was like, I don't know where that's at. Then you were like, fucking mac and cheese and barbecue, and I was like, oh, he's an idiot. He's drunk. What's good, everybody? Anywho. Yeah, that's my number one. What? That one. No, it can't be because Frank's is your number three. Exactly. Frank's is number three. Doug's is number one. Where's Frank's at? Uh Frank's is over there off of uh Ballantyne. Yeah, right. Ain't no hot dog spot over there. Could be. There's not. Uh, no, for my number one. Um I've had them. Dairy Queen. Dairy Queen's number one. You haven't said Dairy Queen at all. I know. I know I have. Not. Alright. Dairy Queen were Frank's was, and Doug's were number one. You wanna redo it? No, not the whole thing. Uh no, yeah, Frank's because I like the good snap dogs. Stop saying Frank's. Yeah, that's what I said, Frank's. Uh Franks has got the good snapdogs, and um also you can get a hot sausage there. Love a good hot sausage with some uh mustard and slaw. Right. Yeah. So yeah, Frank's is number one.

SPEAKER_07

Right.

SPEAKER_08

Okay.

SPEAKER_07

Alright. What's yours? No, you're faded as fuck, dog, and it's hilarious.

SPEAKER_08

What's your number one? My number one's fucking Doug's dickhead. Doug's You first heard it here. Y'all heard it the first time. Right. How does it feel being a big guy? Sucks. In the medium world. It sucks. Dog, doesn't it? Yeah. Look at these seats. It's not made for me. I'm not made to sit in the seat. I'm just made so I can eat. And all I can see is the sea. Because I feel like a giant whale. And I don't give a hell if I'm a big fat giant whale. But I will know this is that I will raise hell and praise Dale. Alright. Good job. NASCAR, baby. NASCAR, baby. 23-11. We're in here three times, baby. Tyler Reddit. Let's get it. 45. Three times is a charm. Three times, baby. How do you feel about people saying that uh NASCAR's rigged? I don't think it's rigged at all, Brian. I think it's very serious. And this is all NASCAR racing expertise at its finest.

SPEAKER_06

Alright.

Jackass Memories And DIY Stunts

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. So um I think what we're doing here is legends are being made, and legends are coming forth to the front lines. And you've never seen what you've seen now before, but what you will see next is one thing that you won't see.

SPEAKER_07

This motherfucker.

SPEAKER_08

Let me play, let me play a fucking clip to fucking break it up a little bit.

SPEAKER_04

This is stupid movement you're showing. This is a super slide for cards. This is what I'm saying. I hope you like it.

SPEAKER_08

What is in there? Um like cheese grate or something. I don't know what that says, but probably don't try this at home. Oh my god, dude. Fuck that. Yeah. Ever done anything on purpose to like hurt yourself? Um you know, like like that, not like suicide. On this one time, no. Right. Um I mean, yeah, like I used to do like jackass themed shit when I was a kid. Yeah, name one. Um, I mean, we did shit with box, we did shit with four-wheelers, golf carts. Yeah, yeah. We still do that. Yeah. Were you did you go with us when we uh longboards poppin' willied the golf cart? Me and you still in the back, wasn't that me and you? I think so. Oh, that shit was off the off the front wheels were off the ground forever. They're still off the ground to this day. That's right. We fought that suspension up.

SPEAKER_06

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Don't you know? Don't you know? Yeah. No, we did a whole bunch of jackass shit. I remember uh we watched a lot of wrestling growing up, right?

SPEAKER_06

And so we did um like front flips off of the fucking shed into the trampoline. Okay, had no business doing that shit.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, we we used to do shit like pulling each other behind the four-wheeler on a lawn board. Right, yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_06

Speaking of that, we had a bicycle once and we put um it's had a rope around it and put it onto another bike and then rode next to each other, and then I slammed on brakes. Where we tied it at though was at the front, and that shit said, Yeah!

SPEAKER_08

And that flipped so fucking fast, dog. God damn, yeah, that was fun. Yeah, it sounds like it. I think everybody in our generation wanted to be jackass. We did we definitely did 100%. Yeah, I was Jotty Knoxville. Jotty? And welcome to Jackass. Ryan Dunn. Yeah, Ryan Dunn was the coolest. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Remember when they had that fucking limousine and they fucking souped it up? You're saying yeah?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

You're falling asleep. No, I'm I'm saying I thought there was more. You okay, dog? I thought there was more to the shit that's gonna be. That's why I was saying yeah. Yeah, damn. Your eyes barely open. My god, my eyes are open wide as fuck.

SPEAKER_06

So the camera. Oh my god.

Potty Training Mayhem And Cat Rescue

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. Alright, well, uh, you heard it here for a first one. Um, thanks for listening. All right. Um, we've been potty training yourself? No, Ollie. Oh. And it's been um Have I talked about this? No, I couldn't have. Dog. You talking about like the cat pissing on your shoes. Dog, it's the most insane thing on earth potty training a human.

SPEAKER_06

This motherfucker, so he's going through the stage of like he hangs out with his mom a lot. So, you know, when you hang out with somebody, you want to be like them.

SPEAKER_08

So you just gotta sit down to pee. If you're not gonna let me discuss what I want to discuss. No, no, no, no, no. Because all the time. I mean, you get all sit down and pee? Of course he sits down and pee.

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_08

How the fuck would he reach the goddamn toilet? I don't know. Step stool. Have you ever seen a child's piss stream? No. Yeah, it's fucking ridiculous. They're not gonna be able to hit no fucking toilet, anyways. That what the fuck I was saying. Right, about watching his mom. No, not watching his mom pee. Just hanging out with her, sitting down to pee. I'm about to walk off. You heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen. Our first walk-off of the podcast. About to be. Is gonna be the own co-host. Um, moving on, yeah. What do you want to talk about?

SPEAKER_06

You said no, moving on.

SPEAKER_08

No, you had to buy.

SPEAKER_06

What did you no? You had stuff to say.

SPEAKER_08

Go ahead. No, I really don't have nothing, bro.

SPEAKER_06

All right, so he hangs out with his mom all the time.

SPEAKER_08

So he's like, I want to fucking, you know, I want to be like you.

SPEAKER_06

I'm like my mom. So you'd be like, Ollie, are you a boy? Like, no, I'm a girl like mom. So I sat him down one day and I said, Hey, you can't be a girl like your mom. You have a penis. It's just kind of how that works. And um, so now he shows people his penis because he's a boy, and he'll just pull it out and show people, and it's the worst. I wish I never taught him that. Because we were at volleyball and he's like, I'm gonna show everybody my penis. I was like, please don't. Please don't. Good. Good story. Oh, there's so much more.

SPEAKER_08

Go on.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, so um we were road tripping and uh to go to Raleigh, and he had, you know, he's just getting potty trained and everything, so we're in the car, and he actually held his piss most of the way. We had to pull over and let him piss in a field, and that's how I found out that his stream was fucking ridiculous because he was pissing like fucking from this end of the table all the way to the other end, just fucking in the air, and it was fairly ridiculous.

SPEAKER_08

So probably has to do with like prostates, you know, as we've gotten older and younger.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_08

I don't know, it's like a fucking sprinkler, it's stupid. Yeah, I don't know, dude. Um good for him. Yeah, I mean, potty train is just insane. I mean, it's it's my second boy, but it's fucking crazy. Yeah, I I got lucky. I didn't have to potty train Slurpee. Um she came potty trained.

SPEAKER_07

That's good.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, which is weird coming from a cat that was found behind a 7-Eleven, but you know.

SPEAKER_06

Um somebody just left her there, probably.

SPEAKER_08

You know, and fuck them. Right. Fuck fuck them. That is a beautiful cat. Yeah. Inside now. I hope they get STDs. Yeah, I hope they get steroids. Testicular deficits. Deficits. Yeah. Too.

SPEAKER_07

Me too.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. That'd be fun. Yeah. Are steroids legal?

SPEAKER_07

No.

SPEAKER_08

Or is it just illegal for sports?

SPEAKER_06

Steroids are legal if you get them prescribed to you.

unknown

Right on.

SPEAKER_06

Could you imagine just having a doctor being like, hey, look, dog? I need to get bigger. Right. You're like, yeah, I got you.

SPEAKER_08

Then it's legal, right?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

There you go. We should do that. Steroids? Yeah. I've always thought about doing steroids, but I'm scared of needles. I'm gonna phone about my dick no more. Fuck about my dad. That's not your dick, right? I thought it was your balls. I thought it was your dick that got smaller or whatever. It's already too small. I mean, might as well. You gonna have a fucking any. Fuck it. Right. You know what I'm saying? Be like, might not have no dick, but I can pick you up. Do you ever do you ever fucking um fat bitch? Do you ever like search uh porn sites and then come across like wild ass shit?

SPEAKER_06

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_08

Like when you're just on there, you're like xvideos.com, and then you scroll down and it's like dude with the smallest penis getting his dick sucked and some girls just going, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm like, I'm not watching that. Then you clean up.

White Sauce, Regional Eats, And Listener Map

SPEAKER_07

Anymore than I'm already, since I'm hovering over top of it.

SPEAKER_08

Right.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. That's just funny as fuck. Yeah. It's always some fat dude. Oh, yeah. He's got like a fucking thumb sticking out. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Why that's his belly button.

SPEAKER_08

Why is his hand there?

SPEAKER_06

Right. Yeah. You gotta go to the bathroom, are you good?

SPEAKER_08

Oh, I'm chilling. Okay. You're over there dancing again. Not dancing. Dancing. I'm just moving. Dances with wolves. Dances with wolves. What do you feel like the like the best, like, hey, I'm going out to eat. Not like a restaurant in general, but like food. Um Mexican.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. Dude, yeah. It's always gonna come down between Mexican and sushi. Yeah, every time. Every fucking time. Even though if I eat Mexican, I'm gonna be hungry as shit afterwards.

SPEAKER_08

And if I eat sushi, I'm gonna be hungry as shit afterwards. Right. So we gotta load up on them chips and dips, baby.

SPEAKER_06

That chips and salsa.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, that's what I always load up on chips and salsa with the white sauce. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Um, it's crazy that the white sauce is like a Virginia thing. Yeah. Um you asked for that shit somewhere else, they're like, I don't know. Okay, I'm not gonna come in this cup. Have you ever asked for it somewhere else they bring a cheese? Uh no. I've had that happen to me once. I was like, can I get white sauce, please? And they brought me queso, and I was like, this'll work. I mean, it will work, but it's not what I wanted. That was before I knew that it was just a here thing. Yeah, dude. It's like, and we're not even just talking about like a Virginia thing. This is like a fucking Hampton Roads, Virginia thing. Yeah. So that guy in New Jersey that listens isn't gonna know what we're talking about. You're not unless you come here. You're not unless you come here. Dog, I've been looking looking at our stats every now and then. Our stats aren't great. We don't have that many listeners, but we've got a variety of places that listen.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, Singapore.

SPEAKER_08

Uh, we had San Francisco pop up. Wow. Yeah. Like that. Thought it might have been Fool House. It's just Stephanie Tanner. Can't be Danny. It can't be Danny. Rest in peace. R.I.P. R.I.P. R.I.P. that pussy. Which was it Stephanie Tanner that went off to do. Do you remember that show that came on uh VH1 that was called like Pants Off Dance Off?

SPEAKER_06

Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_08

This is like 2008 fucking hidden gold. But it was fucking dumb as shit. What was it? It was a stupid ass show that they had on where they did like a pants off dance off. And like it would be like a strip tease or whatever to like some wild song. And these contestants would get up there on screen and like dance and like take off their clothes. I like it. Yeah, they blurred everything out, but like uh what was it? Uh one of the full house girls was the host.

SPEAKER_06

Huh.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_08

You ever seen B E T Uncut? No. Yeah, that was pretty good. Do they say words a lot? Um, it was a lot of ass shaking.

SPEAKER_07

Ooh.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06

It was worth watching for sure.

SPEAKER_07

Okay.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Not anymore. I don't know what it is anymore.

SPEAKER_08

You can just watch porn now. Yeah. I mean it's so easily accessible at this point. Yeah, yeah. It really is.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. Got another clip for you. Oh, maybe. It's your boys.

SPEAKER_02

How far reasons my celebrities want to date us?

SPEAKER_08

What the fuck? Celebrities?

Viral Clips: Alpha Werewolves And Dating Celebs

SPEAKER_02

Yes. It's been known. I did date Sydney. Sydney Sweeney.

SPEAKER_07

And um, we both looked at each other.

SPEAKER_02

And I got a lot of money, and I kiss a lot of girls. She respects it. And no, I'm not a player. I treat girls right. I protect them with all my heart. No my master. I think most of you guys don't understand this, but you guys can all get a celebrity girlfriend if you try. Sindy Swingy, she is kind of annoying to date. She always called me way too much. She always told me she loved me every single day of the name. And just got a little bit clingy at the end of the day. Girl. I was not that into you. I'm sorry. You're very beautiful on the inside. And there's always next year. Okay, there's always next year. Trust me.

SPEAKER_07

What the fuck? Did he give five reasons?

SPEAKER_08

Did he give five fucking reasons? Alright, let's get into these stats. He said he dated Sydney Sweeney.

SPEAKER_07

She was very pretty on the inside.

SPEAKER_08

She was kind of annoying to date. She's goddamn clingy, told me she loved me every day. One of the reasons that she dated him is because he kissed a lot of girls. And she respects that. Right. But he's not a player. No, he's not. He's not a player. She he actually uh treats women right with all of his heart.

SPEAKER_06

What is this next year shit though?

SPEAKER_08

It's competition. Right. Maybe next year. Fucking hunger games. I got one more by them from them.

SPEAKER_02

Top five reasons you're probably gonna want to debut in the next five to six months. Number one, I'm planning on being single for five to six months. Depending on how I'm feeling, but basically, I've been spending a lot of time figuring out how to become the best at everything.

SPEAKER_08

Everything.

SPEAKER_02

And yes, I am an alpha. And yes, it can also transform into a werewolf. And it can also help the moon. Is it a waste of time? Maybe. But when you feel that just also when you start into your veins, you know exactly what time of the night it is. Especially when it's a full moon. You can hear all the other dogs howling. I know I'm not the only werewolf in the world that can do this, but I am the only one that can actually talk in a human form. Now many people come out and say they actually do this, but I know they don't because I did the first night to it better.

VTuber Dreams, Pork Chop Breakfast, And Close

SPEAKER_08

Alright, again, what's I'm not laughing at him. I'm not laughing at him. My thing was there five? There was not. His number one thing was howling at the fucking moon? Yeah. And then he talked about that the rest of the video. I howl at the moon, and nobody else can do about me because I'm the real werewolf. You know what time of the night it is when I howl at the moon because it's nighttime. You hear another dog's howl at the moon. What the fuck, dude? Where was Fresh at for that? He wasn't how yet the moon. Yeah. Because he's not a real one. Dog. That's rough. That's just rough. My thing is like I like them. Actually, I I followed them. I think they're funny as fuck. I don't know if they're trying to be funny, but they're fucking hilarious. Dog. He said. Yeah, I'm a this is uh for all the ladies out there who want to date me in the next six to seven months. Five to six months. Five to six months. Um reason that you should date me is because I won't be single. I plan to be single for the next five to six months. Unless I choose otherwise. Oh, you wanna watch it again? No?

SPEAKER_07

This is so funny, man.

SPEAKER_08

I let both of us just be like, what? Yeah. What the actual fuck Um What a great guy. Yeah. Yeah. Fantastic. Um abilities. Yes. Yeah. Hallen.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. Helen at the blue.

SPEAKER_06

Very singing heavy episode. You know it'd be cool.

SPEAKER_08

What if we did an episode where we're animated the entire time? Ooh. That'd be fire. How much would that cost? I don't know. That'd be a lot. I know there's one Twitch streamer, and she is an animated cow the entire stream, so like when she like presses a button, it's like a cow. That's like hugging an Xbox controller. Right. And it's like moving the control so like whenever she presses A on her control, the cow presses A. That's dope. Yeah, no, it really is.

SPEAKER_06

That's dope. Yeah. What have you been having going on?

SPEAKER_08

Nothing. Right. Other than eating a bunch of steak and eggs. Steak and eggs? Yeah, dude. Uh, one day I found the superior. Two steak and eggs? Pork chop and eggs. Yeah, dude. Had a fucking uh fucking doozy a little breakfast the other day, bruh. Had fucking two. Not one, but two. Smoked pork chops. Right. And some egg eggs on top. That shit was good as fuck. That shit was banger, bruh. Right. Sounds good. I like pork chops. Oh yeah, bruh. Like bone in or bone out. It was bone out. So some like dyes. Pork chops. Where is that from? The chops? Isn't that right here? The chops, bruh. It was pork. Either way, go to Spock. And um. Yeah, I had some coworkers like, what the fuck you got over there, Playboy? I was like, Oh chop and eggs, slut. He didn't call nobody no slut at work. I do. I do. You're an HR HR. You're an HR nightmare. You're an HR nightmare. Um Yeah, dude. But uh breakfast.

SPEAKER_06

Looks like it.

SPEAKER_08

Oh yeah. Well look. I have to go to bed. Yeah, me too. Um We should end the episode with you doing a quote.

SPEAKER_06

Easy.

SPEAKER_08

Peasy lemon squeezy. You heard it first, folks here. No, that's no, that's you just finished it. My quote is EA Sports. It's in the game. It's in the game. You love having the last word. Play the fucker music.

SPEAKER_00

Will we be rambling? Shearing our minds. Talkin' about nothing. And all we can find. Winston and Brian. They're keeping it real. Just two good old boys with plenty to spill. See you next time. Same old voice is a brand new eye. It's just talk, unfiltered and free. No scripts, noodles, just all of steel. Unbig a lot. Stories untold. We're clean with you now, but we'll be back. Just talking until you're down the road. They've got the blanket, they've got the charm. A little bit of mystery, but no one gets harm From the kitchen table to the open air They'll shoot the free, Cause they just don't care. So here's to the last, here's to the fun. Say goodbye, it's just too much. It's just all unfiltered and free. No root, just talking. We're leaving you now, but we'll be back just talking unfiltered. They've got the banter, they've got the charm A little bit of mischief, but no one gets harmed From the kitchen table to the open air They'll shoot the free Cause they just don't care. So here's to the last, here's to the fun, to say goodbye is just to it up. It's just top, unfiltered free. It's just a god story We're leaving you now, but we'll be back Oh It's just talking on the filter Catch you down the road