Ep 20: Life Didn’t Look the Same After 3 Kids…But She Refused to Give Up

Ari Ethel has always been active; but running didn’t become hers until life became proper full.

After competitive Division II soccer, three kids, and a schedule that never slowed down, running shifted from off-season conditioning to a non-negotiable outlet. What started as short, humbling runs.. became a steady practice that helped her manage anxiety, reclaim autonomy, and rebuild identity on her own terms.

In this episode of Runbelievable, Joshie and Matty talk with Ari about the mental reset of starting over after kids, running through snow and exhaustion, and why some runs still suck. It’s a grounded, honest conversation about consistency, self-competition, and choosing something just for you in the middle of a chaotic life.

Follow Ari's journey: https://www.instagram.com/arijogz/

In this episode:

• Growing up in competitive soccer and team environments
• Confronting post-partum fitness reality and ego resets
• Anxiety, doom-scrolling, and needing an outlet
• Balancing kids, work, and personal goals
• Snow runs, bad days, and showing up anyway

Runbelievable: real runners, unreal stories.

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Transcript

Intro

Ari 0:07

You know, it's funny when you asked me earlier, like, oh, how are you doing? I'm gonna be really honest now. Um, I have actually been really anxious lately, like really anxious. Um I don't know, I'm sure all of the people who have anxiety can understand where you like literally feel like you're dying. I've only ran two times this week, and it's a D-load week, so I'm doing way less miles than I would usually do. And I just feel like that's a testament to the fact that like it is my anxiety medication.

Joshie 0:38

Hello everybody, and welcome to Run Believable, the podcast that celebrates the human side of running. I'm your host, Josh Trichin, and I'm here to bring you stories of grit glory in overcoming adversity. Each episode we'll dive deep into what first got people running and what keeps them lacing up day after day. From the last of the lessons to expensive headphones dying after 25 months. Yep, they have a 24 month warranty. This is why we run and how it shapes who we become. And coming up in just a couple of moments, you'll meet a runner whose life is as hectic as it gets. How she even fits in time to run. Well, we'll find out shortly. Maddie, welcome back. Thanks, Josh. Thanks for having me, mate. It's good. It's good to be back. Always a pleasure. Yeah. Look, you're about a week or so into your marathon training and already trying to sneak in some extra runs. I know, I know.

Matty 1:27

Hey, but I listened to you. I listened to you and um took your advice and swapped out one of my runs. So I love that.

Runbelievable Rundown

Joshie 1:35

You listen to my advice, but not your coaches. Anyway, it's not like he listens to the well, actually he does listen to the show anyway. So nothing like um a podcast to hold you accountable. Now, Maddie, let's get stuck straight into the unbelievable rundown. Now, a few weeks ago, I was quite curious about whether or not people use coaches or AI or even just DIY their own training plans. Now, I'd actually like to give a shout out to a run coach called Rin, who quite rightly questioned some of the results because I think of the people that responded, something like 70% said that they used a run coach and only 10% said AI, like apps like run, I know apps like Runner. Um the amount of runners you see around these days, there has to be more that are used in AI. Yeah, do you know what I reckon's happened though? People, do you want to know something? If I was still using, because I used to use one of those apps, um, there's a run coach that had designed his own mine. It was kind of cool, but you can't really give feedback. And you know, in particular, if you're struggling either mentally or there's stuff going on in your personal life, those apps are, you know, don't do a great job of yeah, uh helping to recalibrate your plan. Okay, what else has been happening? Oh yeah, we uh we quietly launched the Run Believable Strava Club a few weeks ago. It's really just a breeding ground for my ramblings. Uh we actually have had some really good engagement though. Um, it's really just a few questions here or there about how peeps are are feeling, what they're striving towards. So I actually do want to shout out a club member called Peter Clark, who's been quite active in our early posts. Uh Peter's coming back after a very long layoff with injury, I think two years or thereabouts, Maddie. I think that's huge. That's huge.

Matty 3:19

Yeah.

Joshie 3:20

And he quite recently, I think, was trying to tackle uh 4K non-stop. Like he's really had to go back to basics.

Matty 3:27

Oh, you would do, yeah.

Quiz Time: The GOAT

Joshie 3:28

Yeah. Um so look uh sincerely, Peter, if you're listening, sincerely wishing you the best of luck in your return from illness and injury. Maddie, it's quiz time. Nice, love a good quiz. Yeah, well, let's hope you get zero from three.

Matty 3:44

It's on that. You'd love that, wouldn't you? You'd love it.

Joshie 3:47

I would absolutely love that. You get off to a flyer in the first few episodes of these quizzes. And I sort of thought, I've got to make them a little bit tougher. Set the bar, set the bar high and then just crashed. Yeah. Oh, look, I think you'll go all right today. These are all about the goat. Eliod Kipchoke. Yeah, I love him. And they're simple, absolutely simple, true or false questions. Let's get stuck straight into it. Question number one. As at now, so what we're in February 2026, the goat is 40 years of age. True or false? True. It's false. He's actually 41. He turned 41 in November. Okay. Sorry, I don't have his birthday marked in my calendar. Well, you should. You will from now on. Question number two. True or false, he has three Olympic gold medals. True. It's false. He's only got two, believe it or not. I know. He won back-to-back marathon goals 2016 and 2020. Yeah. Uh, which I think was held 2021 in the end, the uh Tokyo Games. But yeah, as you know, he was a track athlete in his youth. Um, I think he was a 5,000, 10,000 metre specialist. But yeah, he um he never won gold.

Matty 5:02

Okay. I thought he did.

Joshie 5:04

Yeah, well, I know you thought he did. That's why you got the question wrong.

Matty 5:06

That's right.

Joshie 5:08

So you said in the beginning this is a simple one. It's not it is simple. True or false, you got a 50-50 chance on all of them. True or false across track and road. So anything where there's a way of having a ratified world record, he currently holds only one world record. True or false? False. He's back! One from three, Maddie. Well done. So he did hold the marathon, but then kicked him. That's exactly right. So I'll for bonus points. Um you said false. Are you saying that he holds more than one world record or none?

Matty 5:45

I'm saying he holds he What are you saying? Are you uh Wells?

Joshie 5:50

Uh you you said false to holding one world record. Yeah. So you're saying he holds none or more than one? None. Yeah, that is correct. Yeah, I'm amazed to hear that none. I think he probably only ever set the world record in the marathon, so there we go. Well, the marathon progression's been huge with super shoes, so yeah. Only a matter of time, I think, before we see the men go sub two hours. Um as you know, there was the contrived, where was it in Vienna, I think? Um the Nike, I can't remember what they called the project.

Matty 6:18

Yeah, it was um something two, something the two. Yeah. Um yeah, I can't remember. Chasing two? Something like that. Yeah, something like that. Anyway, and he went 159, didn't he? But it wasn't um it wasn't officiated, so.

Guest Spotlight: Ari Ethel

Joshie 6:34

No. No, not race conditions, so it didn't count. Um but I think yeah, absolutely awesome that we know that uh humans are indeed capable of doing that. I think it's only a matter of time before we see that in race conditions. Now, how did you all go at home? Feel free to let us know. Today's guest has always been active, but running didn't become a permanent fixture until relatively recently. After competitive soccer, three kids, and a life full of responsibility, running shifted from being an off-season have-to-do to a routine must-do. This is a story about identity, consistency, and why some runs still suck. She's also the first US guest that we featured on Run Believable. Can we please all welcome Ari Ethel? Welcome, Ari. Welcome, Ari.

Ari 7:21

Yeah, happy to be here.

Joshie 7:23

Now, look, we connected some time ago now, so you'll have to excuse my hazy memory, but one thing that I did capture, if memory serves me correctly, is about your mindset when pregnant. And I don't know if this was child one or two. I think you said something along the lines of, you know, what was the point in getting fit when you're about to have another kid? Um, are you happy to explore that a little bit more for us? I guess the helping us understand the mental gymnastics of an expectant mum.

Ari 7:53

Yeah, definitely. Um, that was probably with um number three, because number two was a surprise to us. So I actually did get really fit after my first pregnancy. Um, but yeah, then surprise had number two. But yeah, number three, um, we knew we wanted a third one. So um it definitely was really hard. I um played soccer on the field, um, but I wasn't really into like running. I probably couldn't even run like two whole miles if I had tried. Um, and I really did think like, why get fit? I know I'm gonna have another one. It's gonna like do what pregnancy does to your body. Um yeah. And so I I didn't really get back into it until after I had my third one. Um, even though I was really active, uh, but just not really into running. And it I I did my running through soccer, which is my passion. So yeah.

Joshie 8:50

Yeah, and we're gonna talk about your soccer in a few moments' time. Um, look, sport was a big part of your life and your identity growing up. Um, from what I can recall, you played Division II soccer, is that correct? And you were the captain of your team?

Ari 9:10

Yeah, back Cal Stey. Yep.

Joshie 9:12

Yeah, okay. Um so how did I guess being an athlete, and yes, we will call you an athlete, division two soccer is um certainly quite the accolade to have. Um, how did being an athlete shape your values and your identity early on in your life?

Ari 9:30

Um, I think it just really taught me discipline and I think that healthy relationship just with being active. I've never been a person to not be active and just surrounding myself with um like-minded people. So yeah, I I think that it really helped. I mean, it helped me literally be the person I am today. I know I got out of that mindset for a while. And so I think it helped me get back into hey, I need to get back to what makes me feel normal, which is being active and um really pushing the limits for um uh I don't know, like getting back out there and really getting fit. So yeah.

Matty 10:13

Was it professional soccer?

Ari 10:14

All right, um, no, I played division two college soccer, and then I went on and played in the WPSL, which is I wanna say like semi-pro in the US.

Matty 10:24

Yeah, so and I played that for women's soccer's massive in in the US.

Ari 10:30

Um it it is, did you say is it massive?

Matty 10:32

Yeah, it's massive.

Ari 10:33

It is, yeah, no, for sure. I feel like that's why the WPSL is, I in my opinion, very competitive. Um, it's kind of like your gateway to um the NWSL. I just truly like didn't have that competitive drive to want to do that. The WPSL was good for me. It was it was good enough. Um and it also is like a preparatory kind of thing for college. So younger girls are there and I'm like, well, why am I gonna take their spot? I'm out of college. I'm you know, and they're these girls are trying to prep and get better for themselves and um get ready for college. Like, what who am I to take their position? So I just didn't have that like, no, this is my spot. I want to be on the field after college. I had that during college. So I only played like three years post-college in the WPSL, and then I um we we moved and I got pregnant. So then I kind of just never really wanted to go back.

Joshie 11:29

So why uh soccer? Was it the team environment that you thrived on?

Ari 11:34

Absolutely. I think just the friends, the camaraderie with all of them, and I don't know, you have built-in friends. You get to go there and just have this community of like-minded people. Um yeah, I So what was that like then?

Joshie 11:48

So you moved, you gave up soccer, you thrived on the team environment, and like you say, they were your friends as well as your teammates. Is that something that you found difficult to give up?

Ari 12:02

Um, you know, we moved up to Washington from the Bay Area, which soccer in California is obviously um, in my opinion, much higher level than up in Washington. Um, so when we first moved, like we moved no jobs, we had no kids, we had nothing, um, literally nothing. Uh we moved in with my sister in her one bedroom apartment in the middle of summer. Um, and just like I would never think to do that now, obviously. Um, but we moved with nothing. So I think that it was like the excitement of a new life. And like me and my boyfriend at the time, my husband now, but my boyfriend, like we were moving up. And I don't know, I think I was just doing other things. There was a couple times I was like, oh, I'm gonna go try out for this WPSL team in the area, but self-doubt, obviously, like, oh, I've kind of been out of the game for a year. It's really hard to train and get fit enough to go do that again. Um, and so we just focused on other things. We got into like acro yogi or yoga, and we're like, I didn't even know what that is.

Matty 13:03

I have no idea what the what is that?

Ari 13:05

You guys are gonna have to Google it, but it was so fun. It's just like um kind of gymnastics, but like with a partner. So like doing handstands where he's like the base. And so we got into like and we hiked a lot, like we were so active in other ways. Um, I probably was running on and off, but nothing like what I do now. Like this is my sole the form of exercise and lifting occasionally, but um, but then we just did it all. We got dogs, we were going, I don't know, I was coaching soccer. So like I was out on the field for four hours a day coaching. Um, so we just got we were just active in different ways. And so I think that being a coach still and like I played indoor with like adults. Um it, I I when I was training, I trained with the older girls, like even though I was 23 or 22, I would like train with the U19 team just for fun. Um, so yeah, it was just yeah, I think that I didn't really think of it as like, oh, I'm hanging up the cleats or oh, I'm gonna miss the WPSL kind of thing or miss playing at a high level.

Joshie 14:13

So Yeah, just had a very quick look at queer yoga. It looks like it requires a lot of flexibility flexibility. Maddie, you'd be great at that. We should do it together, but you guys should partners.

Ari 14:24

Yeah, it was so fun to do, and it is um insane how strong I actually was way back then because years later we tried to do something. I'm like, how do I push up into a handstand? Like my body cannot do that anymore.

Joshie 14:40

Something to put on the to-do list. Um, yeah. So Maddie, we'll take that offline. You and I'll get together and team up.

Matty 14:45

We'll send videos.

Joshie 14:48

That won't be happening. Look, um so back then, running was mostly when you're playing soccer, of course, was part of off-season uh conditioning. Uh what did you think of running back then? Was it something that grabbed you or was it something you just went, you know, I have to do this, but I don't really thrive on it?

Ari 15:05

Yeah, um, I would say, like, if we're going all the way back to college prep, um, I think I'd never ran more than 4.5 miles, like ever in my life. Um, I did it one time, I remember, um, for pre-college, you know, getting ready. Um, and it was like fart like running. So it was like a, you know, sprint jog. And I was like, oh my gosh, I ran 4.5 miles or whatever it was. Um and that was a a lot. That was a big run. Um, and I think that most of my running was fart like running. It wasn't a lot of just like steady state jogging around. Um, I remember one time for fun, I got to the field and I was like, you know what? I want to see how fast I can run a mile. So I sprinted around the field four times before practice and ran like a, I think like a 656. I'll never do that again. But um, I was just, I don't know. It wasn't to yeah, I don't know. To me, it wasn't fun. Uh the sprint workouts I found fun, but not long distance. I never would have done that, probably.

Joshie 16:12

I should I should have had a um convert. I did look up a conversion chart. I know I uh knew that you'll be talking in miles for our metric, for our metric lists. I do have a couple of conversions. Maddie, what I might get you to do is look up what a si what pace? Did you say six something miles?

Ari 16:27

It was like a 656 mile.

Joshie 16:30

Okay. I'll get you, Maddie, um, whilst we're whilst we're chatting to look that up.

Ari 16:33

I also am curious what the metric is because I have my runner app and it's typically in kilometers now.

Joshie 16:39

So I'm um so uh you said that it wasn't until after you had your third child that running really clicked for you. Um can you talk us through, I guess, what it was that lit that spark in you? What motivated you to just get out there and give running a go?

Ari 17:00

Yeah, I will say, um, like, so we were up in Washington, we moved back to California um for two years just recently. We moved back here one year ago. So three years ago, we moved down there, and I had no intentions of, I thought my cleats were hung up. So I really had no intentions of of going back. And I was coaching down there, and somebody asked me if I wanted to play in this adult league on Sunday, which was like the more chill league. And I was like, you know what? Yeah, sure, I will. And it was co-ed. And I started there, and they were like, oh, hold on. She actually knows how to play soccer. So then they invited me to like the um Tuesday night women's only league, and it's an open league down in California. It's still very competitive. Um, so started doing that. Um, and then they were like, oh, there's Friday night co-ed. That's really competitive. Why don't you do like, do you want to play on that team too? And I was like, Yeah, you know what? Sure. So now I'm playing Tuesday, Fridays, and Sundays. Um, and then the girls were like, Oh, do we want to do um uh what day was it? I think it was Wednesdays, another day of the week or Thursdays. I think it was Thursdays. We had indoor. So at one point I was playing four nights a week. Um postpartum, it was very hard. I came back um maybe I think I was like four months postpartum. I could run about one thing up the field. It was eight v eight, so that was nice. Even uh outdoor, it was eight v eight. I could run up the field once and be like, I need to stop, like dying. And I was like, wow, this is not good. Um, and so yeah, so just like um I started off a little bit slow and then added into then four days a week by the time I we moved back. So in that two years, playing four days a week. Um, and so very active. Um, and I coached for most of the time we were there. So I was then outside all day um on the weekends, I'd be at tournaments, um, and I was just really active and I was teaching full time. Um, so I would be in the classroom outside um and then going to play soccer every single night, just about.

Joshie 19:09

That's crazy.

Ari 19:10

I know, and it was very competitive. This is not like your run-of-the-mill adult league. Like this is girls who are coming back from college. This is older girls who um never really played like structured soccer, you know, they were they just for fun started when they were 30. And I feel like that makes some of the best players, like they're just there because they love it and they got really good. Um, but yeah, a lot of them did play in college and it was competitive and it was so fun. Um, so then stepping out of that, moving back to Washington, um, which I was like, I knew that that was gonna be one of the big things that I missed was playing soccer because it's just not the same up here. When I go to, um sorry to the Washington people if they're listening, but like if I go to the indoor center here, it is truly adult league. Like I went to a game and we were um up and then the other team started scoring. I was like, oh no, um, we're down by two. And somebody's like, oh, it's okay, it's just Sunday league. And I was like, oh, okay. Hold on. Um, got it.

Joshie 20:08

I don't know about it. It's not just Sunday League. Yes, it's never just Sunday league.

Ari 20:13

Yes. And I know what I said earlier, like, oh, I don't have that, like, I need to be out on the field, but like I do like to win. Um so I love it. Yeah. Um, yeah. So I think just stepping away from all of that, I needed to do something else. Um, and running seemed like the most convenient. I didn't have to buy a gym membership. I didn't have to go um at this indoor center. You have to kind of go and be like, oh, can I be on your team? Or, you know, it's kind of it's different than in California. You're like on a wait list, they just toss you on a team. I also had a ton of friends down in California, so it's different. But yeah, here you kind of have to like just show up and watch games and hope that somebody picks you to play. It's it's an odd way to do it. So I didn't have to go beg people for me to play. Um so it just sounded like the easiest thing to start. Like, okay, I'm postpartum. I'm, you know, cleared to play or cle cleared to be active, not play, but cleared to be active again. I'm like, what's the like easiest, quickest way that I can go be active for my mental health? Um and yeah, running, well, walking, walk jogging.

Joshie 21:25

Let's explore that because you mentioned to me, and this would have been somewhat of a day of reckoning, that you went out for a short run, so you decided that that's what you wanted to give a go. And you found your heart rate sitting at 190 beats per minute. Um which we we speak the same language, by the way. 190 is quite high. Yeah. And we and obviously from what you told me, that was just an easy run. What was it like, I guess, confronting that gap between your previous level of fitness and that reality postpartum?

Ari 22:01

Yeah, well, I'm gonna be honest, I don't even know if I really was like looking at my heart rate often. Like before, because I never I don't know, but during my pregnancy, my heart rate was a bit elevated the whole time. And I had like a few episodes of getting pretty lightheaded during labor. My heart rate went up to like 210. So I was already like a little bit aware that um my heart rate was elevated. Um, even my resting heart rate while pregnant was around like 85, 90. Oh, I can't. Um, they told me everything was fine. So I don't know, I guess I believed them, but um, but yeah, going outside and trying to jog just for 30 seconds, which to me I felt fine. I if I didn't have my watch on and look, I would have had no idea that my heart rate was pushing 200 um just by jogging. I'm not kidding, like front uh less than a tenth of a mile. So um, which is like down the street, um a hundred yards.

Joshie 22:58

A few hundred meters. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Ari 23:01

Um, and it would just immediately shoot up to 190. And I'm like, this is so weird. I'm not breathing hard at all. I'm not out of breath. I could just be.

Matty 23:11

Yeah.

Joshie 23:12

Yeah.

Ari 23:12

Well, most people with their heart heart rate, yeah, on 190. That's like, you know, max heart rate. You're working your butt off in a full sprint, not being able to speak. And I'm like, hmm-mm-mm-like, my mouth's not even open. I'm like, why is my heart rate so high? Did I ever get it checked? No. And I was like, you know what? I'm gonna be stubborn and I'm gonna work to get it back down.

Joshie 23:31

So Well, you mentioned that there was quite the gap between what you used to be able to run. I think you said you were able to run a 745 mile for three miles. So for our metric listeners, that's 449 pace per kilometer for 5k. That's moving. Uh and you said you went from that to struggling to get through a 15-minute mile, which is roughly nine minutes per kilometer. Right. Um how was it, I guess, facing that reality?

Ari 23:58

Um, so discouraging. Um, I actually wanted to just not even do that. I was like, there's something else I can do to get my heart back to where it is, but really there isn't a way. I mean, just getting out there and walking. And I was, I would say, like pretty active during my pregnancy up until the last like two months. Um, so it's not like I should have had that big of a gap. Um, but it was hard. Um, it was really hard to be excited to get down to even a 14-minute mile. Like, cool, I am improving, but like a four, and I don't want to shame anybody running a 14-minute mile. I'm just coming from my own personal what I used to be able to do. But like, how do I be excited about a 14-minute mile when I used to be able to run an eight-minute mile like it was nothing?

Joshie 24:44

So I think you're right, it's all it's all relative, but you went from having a um a pre-children reality to a postpartum reality, and that's a very difficult thing to face because uh some people would even be questioning you know their identities after that and just wondering whether or not uh um physical activity would even be a feature in their lives going forward.

Ari 25:08

Yeah, um, agreed. And I think that there was a lot of um mental battle. Um, I think even getting down to 12 minutes, which some people that is good. I mean, even for me, I'm like, cool, I ran a 12-minute mile today, like that's great. Um but again, that mental gymnastics of like that is really good and being excited for that moment, but then uh thinking back when I get home, like, come on, like that's all it was for you. Like, that's all you could do. Um I think just battling that every time and then having to really have a lot of positive self-talk of like, no, no, no, look at where you were six months ago, like you were running a 15-minute mile, and your average heart rate was um you know, 170. And now I can run that in 12 minutes. And sorry, I'm trying to think um your cases in kilometers. That's right. We can't do it that fast. Sorry.

Joshie 26:16

One thing Ari, I was going to ask though, about uh the r running. I mean, it sounds like there are moments where you sort of beat yourself up after a run or it should have felt easier, but do you ever take the time to acknowledge just how incredible it is that you even get out the door? Um, and I'll explain that a little bit further. Uh you weren't listening when we did our introduction, but I talked about how incredible your life is, how hectic it is, and how you even get out for a run. I don't understand. Now I'm just gonna add a little bit of context to this, and if I get any of this wrong, let me know. You're a part-time teacher, I think a science teacher, full-time mum to three kids, a lead registrar for your division soccer that comprises, is it, 12,000 players? Is that correct? Yeah. Um, I'm sure I've missed some other things in there. Uh getting out the door should feel like a victory, just showing up. Um is that something that you ever take the time to acknowledge that just getting out the door is a victory?

Ari 27:17

Yeah, you know what? I will be honest, I think that I could do that more. Um yeah, I I should do that more. Um, and I think that before it was really hard to get out the door and I made more excuses back then. Um, but now it's almost just like it's part of the routine. So it almost doesn't feel like I'm adding anything to, or like, I not that I shouldn't be proud of it, but it it just feels like, oh, that's something I'm supposed to do. So I'm gonna like going to work. I'm not proud of myself for going to work. I was supposed to be there. So now I'm not as proud of myself going out and getting my run done because I'm or in my mind, I've convinced myself that like I'm supposed to do that.

Matty 28:00

Is it because it's just your it's your that's your daily routine, that's what you do. Um, you know, yeah. Yeah, I think we're all a bit like that. And so I'm not as busy as you by any means. Um, no, no. Maddie wouldn't win that competition. It is definitely no competition. But I th I think we all do that. Like, um, it just becomes a part of your life, even even with running. Um, you know, you you you don't look back very often and go, Oh, look what I've done, I'll look what I've achieved. Um it's just becomes part of your and I think there will come a day when all of us do look back. Um, but when you're in the mix of it and and you're, you know, it's doing it, um, yeah, you don't sort of view it like that.

Ari 28:41

Um, I totally agree. And it's funny that you ask that. I was actually actually just on the phone with my best friend earlier today and she this morning, and she was like, uh she also has three kids and works full-time, and um her kids are the same age as my kids. And she was like, I actually can't believe how that like you get out and run up how many times a week? And I was like, three or four. She's like, I don't know how you do it. And I was like, and she's an athlete, she's an ex-college um athlete as well. And so I was like, Oh, well, thank you. Like, that's so kind of you, but you're right.

Joshie 29:13

There's another dimension to that, Ari, as well, that we've neglected to mention. And we can't can I guess uh fathom some of the temperatures that you uh run in. And Maddie, I might need you on hand to do a conversion for us. You will run in the absolute bitter freezing cold. Can you tell us what kind of temperatures you're running in? Use Fahrenheit and we'll do some quick conversion on the fly.

Ari 29:34

Okay. Um currently, uh, well, it's been in the okay, we have to go backwards a little bit. Um before it was in the 30s-ish. But I have since, since we talked last, developed like um a I I'm probably gonna say it wrong, but like um, I guess it's called runner's itch, but like cold eudaria or something. Um so when I run when it is too cold, like 35s, I will get home 30s and below, 30 Fahrenheit and below. Um, I would get home and my legs would my thighs mostly would be um as soon as I got inside, um, absolutely red, red hot and super, super itchy.

Matty 30:18

Oh that's more and as what that's more and a spine degree Celsius that you're we we don't know what that is here.

Joshie 30:26

That's cold. That's cold. Too cold.

Ari 30:29

Um, but yeah, so I started kind of like developing that. I don't know if that's something that I've always had because I lived in California for most of the time. And to be honest, if it was ever cold before, I wasn't so dedicated to doing something. So I why would I go run if it's 35 or negative one degree Celsius? Like, I'm not gonna do that. Um, but yeah, so I kind of developed that and that was like a little bit scary um because then I would get home and then I'd get anxious and like, oh my gosh, wait, now can I not breathe? Because it is releasing histamine and that's what's like making them.

Matty 30:58

So it's an allergy to it thing.

Ari 31:00

It is like an allergy to the cold. Um, and if it's wet, so if it's raining, it is like significantly worse. So um anyway, so I developed this weird thing. So I actually just ran again for the first time outside um in like a month that I bought a little crappy treadmill for like $250 on Amazon. So I've been running on that and it has been terrible. But um, I think with anything mental, um, I couldn't even run a half mile on it when I had first bought it. And so I was like, you know what? I'm not doing this, and I would just go run outside. Now I can run like four and a half miles on that thing. So wow. I've been struggling with that, and it's also just the worst little treadmill. My parents have um, in what's it called, like the Arctic one, like the really big nice one Nordic track. Yes, they have that one. So um, I've been running on that right after work because she lives out there. So I'll just go run over to her house real fast and run if it's too cold. Um, so basically it has to be like above 45 degrees for me to run outside right now, which looks a bummer.

Joshie 32:06

Yeah.

Matty 32:06

See, we're the opposite. We we we're battling the heat at the moment.

Joshie 32:10

Yeah.

Matty 32:11

But you love running in the heat, Maddie, don't you? I love it.

Joshie 32:13

I've got this allergy that we're my bite's got a heat allergy.

Matty 32:17

Yeah. Oh man.

Joshie 32:19

I don't, I don't. I just 45 uh Fahrenheit's about seven degrees. That's that's comfortable. Oh, we'd love it if we could. We have maybe a handful of days a year here in Brisbane where we can run in those temperatures, maybe yeah, three or four mornings uh in in in winter. Now look, um Ari, you've mentioned a couple of other things to me when we when we connected a few weeks ago now, or probably a bit longer than that now. You you've talked a lot about you know the the trap of you know doom scrolling and feeling antsy. Um you've talked about anxiety as well. Um what role does running play for you in helping to temper some of those feelings of you know anxiety and the like?

Ari 33:03

Yeah. Um, you know, it's funny when you asked me earlier, like, oh, how are you doing? I'm gonna be really honest now. Um, I have actually been really anxious lately, like really anxious. And um I don't know, I'm sure all of the people who have anxiety can understand where you like literally feel like you're dying. Like, I don't know what's going on, but I feel like everything's wrong, but nothing's wrong. Um and um it's funny because my anxiety being extra high even this week, I've only ran two times this week, and it's a D-load week. So I'm doing way less miles than I would usually do. Um, and I just feel like that's a testament to the fact that like it is my anxiety medication, my natural anxiety medication. Um yeah, so I think that it really keeps my anxiety at bay. Um, especially just with being busy, my neighbor just asked me, what do you think about on your run? I could never run that far. And I'm like, honestly, everything and nothing all at the same time.

Joshie 34:05

Yeah.

Ari 34:05

And I come home and I feel great.

Joshie 34:08

How long do those feelings of um you know, feeling calm and at ease post-run, how long does that typically last for? I mean, does that put hit hold you in good stead for, you know, a day or two days, or is it quite fleeting for you?

Ari 34:22

Yeah. Um, well, I'm gonna say based on this week, I get probably a good like um day of run and then like one or two days post, and then I'm like chomping at the bit. Um, but it doesn't feel like I'm like, oh, I really need to go on a run right now. It's shown in other ways of like, I am my patience is low with my husband and my kids. My anxiety is high. I um I don't know. I'm sure again, people with anxiety can understand, like, oh, I feel lightheaded, but like I don't feel lightheaded. I just am being really anxious about everything because when I get to school, for example, and I'm with other people and I'm distracted, I don't ever feel lightheaded at school. I don't ever feel these feelings that I feel when I'm at home sitting in my anxiety of life. So I would say you get like one to two days.

Joshie 35:11

Is it something that you're aware of at the time? Because for people that live with anxiety, um there's varied levels of self-awareness about whether or not it's manifesting. And sometimes uh you rely on other people to highlight that for you and say, uh, hey, have you noticed that you're you're not feeling quite as tolerant as what you usually were? Is it something that you're able to do like a scan and go, um, I'm aware of these feelings, or is it a case of other people that highlight that for you?

Ari 35:44

Um, I mean, I would say it's probably me being more self-aware. Like I know when I'm feeling um, I don't know, like less than lovely, or you know, I am getting my if my patience is low, I think it's more me. Um, my husband's the most patient person. He would be who I'm around the most to even say anything or anything like that. Um, and he's never said anything. I mean, it he's like, oh, she's mad today, okay. Or not mad. But um, yeah, no, I think that it is more of me being self-aware and I just feel it and I know, but I also just like feel it in the fact that I feel like everything's wrong. Like, oh, my heart rate's really low and I'm freaking out about that. Oh, my heart rate's really high now. Now I'm freaking out about like I just am not settled in any way.

Matty 36:34

Um I don't know.

Ari 36:36

And then you add sick kids on top of it, which I do have a sick kiddo right now. Um, and that just raises it even more. And so I think getting out and just getting my run in is gonna hopefully or does keep it at bay.

Matty 36:48

So yeah, no, I totally agree. I think I think it's really, really good that you're self-aware and you can scan and see it yourself because I I'm I suffer with that as well. Um, and and I'm scanning myself quite a lot. Um, but it's um with me, it's I think if I'm feeling that way and anxious or there's depression or whatever it may be, any mental health sort of thing, I have to run. Like I have to go out and run. And I do, and I often run when I probably should be resting because I just have to. I have to be out in nature. And is that but does it help you that nature?

Ari 37:24

Yeah, I absolutely, oh my gosh, I just posted that I ran for the first time. I posted it on my Instagram, and I in my video I couldn't stop smiling, just like the fresh air and like the pushing off the ground, like that different, like sensory, just like oh, it felt so good versus running on a treadmill and like feeling heavy. And it felt weird to run outside. Um, but I would say, like, going back to like, do I have to do it? I almost feel like um, and I I think that people with anxiety could understand is that it's almost like debilitating. Like I feel tired. So like I'm so anxious, and then I'll get home and I'll just want to sit on the couch and like not do anything. And it um I think like I'm grateful that I don't have depression. I'm not ever um like that kind of it is truly just like anxious and feeling like the world is ending, but like it's obviously not, or my world's ending, but it's not. Um, and it's almost, yeah, I would say like debilitating in that way that I just want to lay down and relax and feel like I'm having me time, but like me doom scrolling um while I'm doing that is literally just making it worse. And I'm very grateful for my husband. It makes it 10 times worse, um, just with everything going on. Uh yeah. And so my husband's nice and like um kind of giving me that reminder of like, why don't you go for your run? Um, it's gonna make you feel better. I'm just like, you know what, you're so right. So that little reminder is helpful to just have one other person being like, you could help fix it if you just like um go on a run. But he's so gentle about it. I have willful defiance. So like if somebody tells me to go on a run, I'll absolutely not be running for the next week. But uh I love that. But that nice gentle reminder of like, oh, if you want to run, it might make you feel better. And I was like, Oh gosh, you're so right, even though I feel debilitatingly anxious and I just want to like be anxious in my couch and not move. And yeah.

Joshie 39:23

So one of the reasons, Ari, that um that we reached out to you is um, in fact, I'll take a step back. We've spoken on previous episodes about the perception that a lot of people put out there on socials about everyone being amazing. And you sort of leaned into the at times sobering reality of life as a parent, full-time, you know, working mum. And that was something that we thought would be worth connecting and speaking to you about, is you know, you you haven't shied away from being very honest when you prepare your posts and your reels, that some runs just suck, or that you weren't necessarily in the best frame of mind. Um have you at all taken the time to sort of reflect on the positive impact that that's having on fellow runners?

Ari 40:15

Um no. I have had a few friends and even family members tell me that, like, oh, it's so um motivating. And for me, I'm like, oh, I feel like I'm just out here telling you, you know, this this sucks. It's not always fun. Um so no.

Joshie 40:33

I think it's relatable though, Ari. Like it's very relatable.

Matty 40:36

Yeah.

Joshie 40:36

Yeah. I think we need to be careful when we post things on socials about building this false perception that our home lives are great and that our runs were great and that life is great because sometimes our home lives suck. Like there are moments we go through where you just you just need to get out the door. And then you get out the door, and then the run sucks. Um you sort of then come home, not necessarily feeling energized or rejuvenated, and you've done a great job of being very honest about that.

Ari 41:05

Yeah, thank you. I almost feel like I wish I could be even more like when I am feeling really anxious. I think I've talked on a or I don't even know if I posted it, but um, it is hard to kind of not fit it in, but like some runs, I even feel so anxious for my entire run and everything feels wrong. I feel like I'm overly um sensitive to everything, like I don't know, my breathing, my heart rate, everything. And it uh it's almost like, ah, I don't even want to be out here, or am I gonna get my cold eudicaria thing or you know, my cold runner's itch, like just anxious about all the things. Um, but it's hard to sometimes fit that into a post when there's not like a lot of context. If that makes sense, like if I'm just telling one small part during my run of how I'm feeling. Um and I do feel like I struggle a lot with anxiety in waves. So, like sometimes everything's awesome, everything's great. And then other times in life, like every few months, I'll just have this like month of just very high anxiety. Everything feels not right and scary and like everything's wrong. Um, and I wish I could talk more about that during my runs, but it just doesn't feel like always the most appropriate time. But in terms of saying, like, this run sucks today. I just posted a run today, like, well, today's kicking my butt. This isn't so great. Um, like, yeah, absolutely. I don't think anybody can say that. I almost want to ask the internet, like, is it running really fun for you? Like, come on.

Matty 42:38

I don't think so. Really? Yeah. We have really good runs where you go, that was like amazing. And then that's probably 10% of the time. And the other 90%, you know, it's a bit of a struggle sometimes. Yeah. Or they might they might be be average. But I think when you and and I I I don't want to speak generally about this because everyone's different, but I know when I run when I'm suffering with mental health issues, the run is 10 times harder because for some reason my mind thinks about the pain.

Joshie 43:10

Yeah, pain in my oh, yeah, it's just is that like this? Um, I think this may be, and I'm gonna paraphrase, I'm sorry, Ari, so correct me if I'm wrong. But what you're saying is if you're in have this underlying state of anxiety and then you walk out the door, you're then hyper aware of everything, like the signals that your body's giving you. Is that kind of the your experience?

Ari 43:31

Um, I think so. I mean, um there was a run that I went outside and I started running, um, just like the first 10 steps, and I kind of like looked out in the horizon, not in the horizon, but like down the street. And I felt like the world was bouncing. I was like, oh my gosh, I feel dizzy. But like it was anxiety. Um, I came back home and I was like, oh my gosh, to my husband. Um, I just went running and I felt so dizzy to start. And then I was like, I'm gonna push through this. I'm gonna go back out there and I'm gonna run down that street and don't look that way. Like, why are you looking up and you're bouncing? Of course, it's gonna look, I don't know, like But to me, then I'm so hyper aware that I feel dizzy, but like it's just anxiety in me. Because then I went on that run and I think I went and ran five miles completely fine. I didn't feel like that again. I just like had that super like almost like a little anxiety attack right when I started, which because I probably was having anxiety in the house, and then I go to start my run, and it's just like a way up here, and then I push through and then it just drops back down again. So it's a weird anxiety is such a weird thing. I don't know.

Joshie 44:41

And I guess it manifests in different ways for different people. So it's probably a difficult thing to ask other people, you know, what do you do when this happens? Because everyone's experience is unique. Um you've mentioned that you've raced with your mum, uh, you've run in the snow and you've built routines that sort of try as best as possible to fit with your crazy life. What moments would you say you've had running moments that have made you reflect and go, you know what, running is mine?

Ari 45:14

Yeah. Um, like run. Um like running as my thing. Is that what you're saying?

Joshie 45:20

Or like running as yeah, where you can almost claim it as being part of your identity. Like if you had any moments where you've gone, that's it.

Ari 45:28

Yeah, I mean, you had mentioned, and yes, my mom started signing up for races with me. And I think that is just so fun for us for when she is not a runner, she's always been like a lifter, she uh she's not a runner at all. And she will always say that. Um, so I think having like a buddy to do it with um kept me motivated. And she usually does the 5K run and I do the 10K, and that's okay. Um, the first couple races I was like, oh, I need to walk with her because like that's so rude of me. And she's like, no, I'm just gonna come so that I stay motivated. And so we always check in on each other. Like, did you get and she's on the run app now? And so we uh check in on each other. And honestly, um, when I'm not feeling so motivated, like she's on it and she's like, Oh, I did my run and my workout today. I'm like, and she just turned 60. I'm like, mom, you're kicking my butt right now. Like, okay, I gotta go do my run even today. I got home from work and um the my the one-year-old is sick. He has um like a viral uh lung infection. Um, he's okay. He just is like pretty sick. And I was like, you know what? Maybe I should just go home. But I already had my running stuff on and she was like, um, no, put him on the couch right there because I was trying to like hand him to my dad and then hand him to my mom, and he was not having it. He hadn't seen me all day. And so she's like, put him on the couch right there. And I was like, okay. And so I put it on. She like cried and was like, Oh, and like tick and was like, okay, run, literally, run. And so to like go on to her shop and go running. And so I think that like she is um a huge part of why I'm staying motivated. She took a long time to get on board too. Like, she, our first 10 or 5k race that we did together May of last year. Um, she maybe walked like one or two times to train for this. And I'm like, well, I'm not gonna sign you up for more races if you don't train. And so I think we have kept each other really um motivated to to keep going. Um, and when I'm not feeling it, then like she's on it. So then she's like, okay, like did you get yours in? And I'm like, okay, like we're doing it. Um, so I think that that has helped keep it as a part of me and my thing. But I think just um having it to make literally as my um like form of anxiety medication. Like I do not take medication. I don't even like to take Tylenol. So to go to a doctor and be like, hey, I have really high anxiety, I feel like I'm dying. Um, I feel like my heart's too slow. Then I feel like it's like just going over all these things, like, we have a new mole today, and I'm pretty sure that it's not good. Like um, like I feel dumb doing that. And so I feel like to be able to keep it at bay is running. And truly, I think that um Matt said it perfect at like 10% of runs that are good is what keeps me going. Like, wow, that was such a good run. I was so proud of myself. And then the next five runs are gonna be terrible and I hate my life and I hate it. Um, but like truly, it's doing so much more for me than medicine could do. That's for sure.

Joshie 48:37

I totally agree, totally. Good on you for being able to work that out as well, because it's not not a lot of people are able to firstly recognize what their their triggers and their stresses are, let alone what helps to diffuse them. So I think it's fantastic that you've been able to work that through. And look, before we finish up, Ari, what's on the agenda for you this year? Do you have any events or or goals or milestones that you've got in your sites?

Ari 49:07

Yeah. Um, you know, I see a lot going backwards really fast. Yes, I do have some plans, but I see a lot of people um posting on Instagram these days that, like, oh, the running community, it's all about um, you know, what marathon you're gonna run, what race you're gonna run. And like to me, it truly doesn't feel like it's about that. Um, so yes, I have signed up for some races. Do I hate my life every time that I show up to the race? Like, why? Why did I today? Now I have to run. My willful defiance really pops up at that time. And I'm like, hey, mom, do you want to go get a coffee instead of doing this? And she's like, yeah, maybe we should, but we would never do that. Um, so yes, I do have some races purely to hold me accountable, to just like have something to work towards. It's not something where I want to go out and get first place. Like that's not my intention. Um, but yes, I think that's it.

Matty 49:58

It'd be good to be good to come first.

Ari 50:00

Yeah, it would be so cool, but I think I'm gonna need a few years and I need off the age brackets. So then maybe I'll start getting the podium. Um, but yes, my goal from the beginning, because my very first race back in like May, which I did walk most of it, but again, my heart rate was still crazy back in May. It was still 190 when I was chasing after my five-year-old running the half mile. Like I couldn't even keep up with him. Now I think I can kick his butt, but we'll see. He's getting older. Um, but my goal from then was to start finishing in like the top half of my age group, just to start. Top half would be great. Um, and so I have a 10K scheduled in April. Um, it's called the icebreaker, and then another 10K in oh, sorry, I signed up for the 5k um in May, which is the same one that we did last year because my mom is hellbent on improving her time, which I love that for her. Oh, I will be running it this time, not walking it. But to be honest, when we did it back in May, I don't even think I was capable of like actually running a whole 5K. So um, but yeah, so I did the 5K again um to just see what I can do. And our six, my six-year-old now, he'll be six, is gonna do the 5K with us, which is super cute. So yeah.

Joshie 51:21

So that's fantastic.

Ari 51:23

So yep, top 50%. That's my goal.

Joshie 51:26

I wish you the best of luck with that. Look, um, Ari, thanks so much for joining us on Run Believable. You really are an inspiration to working mums and people living with anxiety that truly deserve having something for themselves. It's been an absolute pleasure speaking with you.

Ari 51:42

Thank you, guys, so much. Thank you. Thanks, Ari.

Joshie 51:45

Well, Maddie, what'd you think of our chat with Ari?

Matty 51:48

Yeah, no, that was really good. And it's really good to have our first guest from um, you know, the the other side of the world in the US, which was great. But I think what she really touched on, her life is fairly hectic. Um, and living with that anxiety that she spoke about, which um seemed to be at a significant level at times, um, running really does provide that um that relief from that, which is yeah, which yeah, it's brilliant, brilliant to hear, brilliant for someone else to say it as well.

Joshie 52:15

Yeah, I truly loved her honesty, and then that added dimension of running in the freezing cold. Now, look, Maddie, it's no secret that you despise running in the heat. Why not move over to the northwest of um the US and run in the snow?

Matty 52:29

Mate, I need something in the middle, otherwise I'll be complaining about the heat, then I'll be complaining about the the cold. I have no daddy. And my allergies.

Joshie 52:38

That's that's why we love you, Maddie. We wouldn't have much more tempted attitude. And that's it for today, folks. So if you've got a unbelievable story of your own, we would truly love to hear it. And if you'd like to be a guest on the show, hit us up. Finally, this podcast relies on your continued support. So if you can please take the time to follow Ray and share it with your running mates, we'd really appreciate it, and we'll see you for the next Unbelievable adventure.