Ep 34: Imposter Syndrome Derailed Her First Marathon… Here’s Why | Libby Gibbins

Libby Gibbins did everything right.

She religiously followed the training plan, adjusted work around key sessions, nailed her long runs, and arrived at the start line fitter than ever.

But midway through her first marathon… something shifted.

In this deeply moving episode, Libby opens up about imposter syndrome, identity after motherhood, and the mental battle that unfolded as her time goal slowly drifted away.

This isn’t just a conversation about marathon running.

It’s about pressure, self-belief, and the stories we tell ourselves when things stop going to plan.

In this episode:

• Returning to running after kids
• The “mum tax” and identity beyond parenting
• Training for a first marathon
• The mental impact of seeing pacers disappear
• Imposter syndrome in running and life
• Why the finish line still hurt despite success

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Runbelievable is the podcast for every runner. From your first parkrun to your 100th marathon, from walk-run intervals to dabbling in trail running, every runner has a story worth telling. Through honest conversations with runners from all walks of life, Runbelievable explores the challenges, achievements, setbacks, and experiences that connect us through running and shape who we become.

Transcript

Intro

Libby 0:00

I don't know if I did. I thought I feel like I almost trusted the training more than I trusted myself to execute on the day, even though everything pointed to the fact that I could do it. I don't know whether I really believed I could. Yeah.

Joshie 0:22

Hello everybody and welcome to Run Believable, the podcast that celebrates why we run. I'm your host, Josh G. Richon, and I'm here to bring you stories about what first got people running and what keeps them lifting up day after day. From the last and the lessons to reluctantly tiny up to marathon number five. It's why we run and how it shapes who we become. Coming up in this episode, you'll meet a runner whose first marathon didn't quite go according to plan. Her insight into what can happen to the mind during a race is truly fascinating. Also, in this episode is another fun quiz that my co-host isn't prepared for. Plus, week two's guest the shoe mileage reveal. Gosh, there's a lot to get through. Natasha, welcome back to Runbelievable. How are you doing?

Natasha 1:06

Thanks, Josh. Yeah, I'm really curious about this quiz, hey, because there's been so many races this weekend.

Joshie 1:13

The thing is, so you've been studying for GC 30 and you told me you were studying for GC 30. So what do you think the chances were that that's what I was going to quiz you on?

Natasha 1:22

That was the one that I didn't study for. I'm worried that the chances are high.

Joshie 1:29

Well, the chances are zero.

Guess the Mileage: Week 2 Reveal

Joshie 1:31

You'll see later on. So for our listeners who uh have been following along on Instagram, we've had an absolutely brilliant response to our very first community competition, guess the shoe mileage. A huge variety of guesses, Natasha. Now there were some folks that were with were within 30 kilometers, others were 800 kilometers off the mark. Wow. But the good news is everyone who entered in week one is still a chance. The scores are accumulated over the three weeks. So even if you're, well, actually, if you're 800Ks off the mark, you're probably no chance. But I would say that if you're within two or three hundred, you're still well and truly a shop. And just a quick reminder, there's two prizes on offer, a free 5 or 10k entry thanks to the folks at Bridge to Brisbane, and a limited edition Run Believable singlet top. So folks, get excited. Week two's shoe reveal is here. Josh is now retired. New Balance Supercomp trainers version three have done drum roll. Five hundred and eighty point eight kilometers. Nice. Was that suspenseful enough?

Natasha 2:54

Yeah, I was close.

Joshie 2:57

You weren't too far off. What was your guess? Can you refresh my memory?

Natasha 3:00

623.

Joshie 3:02

Oh, that's not too bad.

Natasha 3:04

They looked a bit, they looked worn.

Joshie 3:07

They are worn. I'm very uh how do I word this without sounding like I'm fat shaming myself? I'm a very heavy runner. Like I obliterate shoes. Thank you. I stomp, I shuffle, I am just not very good on my feet. So, anyhow, hopefully everyone is having a lot of fun with this. Now, where were we? Okay, Natasha.

Natasha 3:30

Something about torturing me with a quiz.

Joshie 3:33

Oh, I do want to know something. I've been looking forward to this for the last week. I really have. I don't know if you remember last week. I think Brett got uh zero from three, so he set the bar quite low. Anyway.

Natasha 3:47

A tough one.

Joshie 3:48

Actually, I gotta ask how how well uh you're a bit younger

Quiz Time: Natasha's Shoes

Joshie 3:51

than me. How well do you know Mr. Bean?

Natasha 3:53

Like, not at all, really.

Joshie 3:55

Okay. There's like this classic scene where um he goes and sits an exam, and I think he studied trigonometry, and there's like two um envelopes that are on the table, um, but he doesn't realise, he picks up one and starts like completing the exam, he's like a hand on his head, like he's exasperated, he's like, Oh my gosh, I haven't studied for this at all. And then there's like a two-minute warning at the end of the exam. Um, the examiner sort of announces the time warning, and then he reinforces that those who have been studying like the green trigonometry um put that in your envelope. He's like, Oh, there's two envelopes on the table, I've picked up the wrong one. Now, why am I telling you this? Um, now you've been studying recent running events in anticipation of today's quiz. Well, today, yeah, you'll be completing the green examination paper.

Natasha 4:48

Which one's the green one? Is that the one I did?

Joshie 4:50

You haven't studied for this, so it doesn't matter what events you run over the course of your entire life, Natasha. This is going to be a completely left field one for you. Although, I won't give anything away. Okay. You have somewhat of an unfair advantage. But let's see, let's see. Let's see how we go. Now, in the early days, one of Maddie's favorite quizzes was over or under. And I think you love that because for a while he was on a hot streak and was getting 100%. But also it's a 50-50 chance. True. And to and to make it even easier for you, Natasha, I've made it a shoe quiz.

Natasha 5:22

Oh, yeah, I haven't studied.

Joshie 5:27

The Sirconi Endorphin Pro 4s. Now you should know them because you own a pair.

Natasha 5:33

Yeah, I've worn them once.

Joshie 5:35

Yep. So it should be fresh in your mind. In fact, I was going to let you go ahead and grab one, but you're not able to grab your running shoes at the moment, are you?

Natasha 5:42

No, that's okay.

Joshie 5:44

Because I was even going to let you go and pick one up, hold it, smell it.

Natasha 5:47

It wouldn't help.

Joshie 5:49

Probably smell that grass. Well, you're a 50-50 chance. So let's see how we go. Question number one. At standard means size nine. Do the shoes weigh over or under? Yeah, it's a standard thing. Yeah, but I'm not a man. Well, that's okay. That's okay. Um so yeah, at a standard uh means size nine. Do the shoes weigh over or under 230 grams?

Natasha 6:16

Oh far.

Joshie 6:18

It's under 220 grams.

Natasha 6:21

There was a 50% chance there.

Joshie 6:23

There was a 50-50 chance. Question number two. If I'm using terminology you're unfamiliar with, I don't apologize. Um question two, stack height. Is the stack height over or under 39 mils?

Natasha 6:39

I don't know. It seems pretty small, like they're pretty flat. But how big is 39? I need a rule. I'm gonna go under.

Joshie 6:53

You're correct. 38.1 mils.

Natasha 6:58

That's a good guess.

Joshie 7:00

Uh one from two. Let's see if you can do better than a 50. Well, you have you'll either do better than 50-50 or less than 50-50. We're about to find out. The final question now. Hill to toe drop. So that's the drop from the hill to the forefoot. Is it over or under eight mils?

Natasha 7:19

Eight? That's small. But what do you mean mils?

Joshie 7:23

Millimeters. So it's basically the most shoes, modern shoes, that they have a drop from the heel down to the forefoot.

Natasha 7:31

It's usually very high. It's usually like 80. He's looking at me like that was the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Joshie 7:36

Well, not exactly, but just to show you, eight centimeters, I'm gonna use this photo frame, would mean that your foot is kind of like that from the heel down to the forefoot.

Natasha 7:47

Oh. Oh, okay. Um, it's gonna be under then.

Joshie 7:52

Yeah, the answer's over. It's nine and a half mils, is the drop from the heel to the forefoot, which is um actually quite high.

Natasha 8:02

Oh, that is high.

Joshie 8:04

Yes.

Natasha 8:04

I love how I just said it's high with such confidence after not knowing what any of these numbers say.

Joshie 8:10

I probably should have let you get that.

Natasha 8:13

So like they're a fast shoe.

Joshie 8:16

Yes. Yeah. Exactly right. Anyway, listeners, how'd you go at home? Please let us know. Today's guest isn't new to running, but after a long hiatus after having kids and a little bit of FOMO, a quiet question lingered in the back of her mind. I wonder if I'm capable of this too. What followed was a

Guest Spotlight: Libby Gibbins

Joshie 8:37

serious commitment to the process and eventually a marathon experience that challenged far more than just her fitness. Can we please welcome Libby Gibbons? Welcome, Libby.

Libby 8:47

Thank you so much, Josh. Okay, thanks for the intro.

Joshie 8:51

You're very welcome. Now look, you and I caught up a week or two ago now, and you mentioned that running was a feature of your life before kids. Did you notice that it was something you were missing when career and kids took a front seat?

Libby 9:09

Uh no, to be honest, I it was like way before kids. It was like back in my uni days that it was something I enjoyed doing socially. Uh and then I also did it before my wedding because I wanted to look great. And I would say immediately pre-kids, I like I hadn't been running for a while. Uh post-kids, though, I was missing me. You know, I was missing my identity and some free time. I think anyone who's a parent is like, you know, what did I do with all of that free time before I had kids? Yeah.

Joshie 9:50

So you knew that something was missing, but you didn't quite know what.

Libby 9:54

Yeah, yeah. I well, time to myself, I guess. Like it uh I I started a book club and and I was catching up with some it was mainly parents that we like to get together once a month and uh we enjoyed reading and it meant that we could socialize as well. But there was something else that was missing. And when I had my first, I would be out walking with the Pram every day, and that was so good for my mental health. And so I think at some point, a couple of times, I tried to just go for a job, and my body was like, nope. Uh I ended up with all these aches and pains. And uh it's at some point I thought, no, I want to I want to be able to run 5k again. And I looked online and found a plan, and that was my goal. That was my first goal. I wouldn't say, like when you asked that question, I wouldn't say I was like a proper runner or anything.

Joshie 11:00

But you're showing up, and I guess that's the important, I guess, first step. Um going back before you had kids, you described yourself as being, you know, quite ambitious and career driven. What was it that you think you were chasing during that phase of your life?

Libby 11:17

Uh the the next thing. I don't know, I like setting a goal and going for that. And it was always about what's the next step, what's the next step, you know, and enjoying the journey along the way, but there was always something next in my sights.

Joshie 11:36

And was it always career, or did there come a point where you just went, career's not enough anymore?

Libby 11:41

Uh yeah, I think I think I focused a lot on career. And then after having the kids, I felt like I couldn't focus on them and focus on that. I think we talked a little bit about the mum tax.

Joshie 12:00

Yeah.

Libby 12:00

Yeah. Yeah.

Joshie 12:02

And it's real.

Libby 12:03

It is very real. It is very real. Yeah. Yeah.

Joshie 12:08

And you said that after you had kids that you noticed that something shifted in terms of priorities. I mean, you're in a corporate role at the time. Um and obviously things then changed. Um What can you tell us about that period?

Libby 12:26

I feel like you never know how you're gonna feel uh uh you know, after having kids, and I thought that I was gonna be able to do it all. And I guess I had the realization that I wasn't going to be able to give everything the energy that I wanted to, and so priorities shifted. Uh, but I still had like all this ambition that I wanted to channel somewhere. And so once um once I got into the running and it was it was making me feel so great, it it became that thing again. Okay, what's the next step? What's the next step?

Joshie 13:06

That pattern emerged. Yeah, you know, you spoke before about the mum tax, and obviously career plays a big part in that. I mean, you'd obviously worked really hard to get to a certain position, a corporate role at the time. Um, and it can be very difficult to jump back in after taking a break um when when kids are young. Is that something that you were cognizant of at the time, or as in did you find it difficult to give that up knowing what the future might look like or not knowing what the future might look like?

Libby 13:42

I think I felt scared about going back to work. I felt like, oh, have I forgotten how to do my role? Have I forgotten um yeah, just even finding the words, you know, could be really tricky. Uh yeah, I I was really scared about going back to work and felt like I wasn't sure whether I'd still be able to do it and like I had um so much emotion that was sitting like just below the surface. And when you're sleep deprived as well, you think, oh gosh, is that gonna come out? Yeah. Um remind me of your remind me of your question. Sorry, I feel like I'm going off on a I'm I'm reliving what it was like going back to work.

Joshie 14:36

No, that's fine. Um it's these are can be quite confronting, I guess, questions and moments to re reflect on. But I guess I'm curious about whether when you decided to take a back seat from that corporate role, um was it a difficult decision to make at the time, or did you just feel it was the right one?

Libby 14:57

No, I definitely felt like it was the right one. And it wasn't too hard because stepping down meant going back to clinical work, and I'm really lucky with audiology because that's super duper rewarding, just being able to um connect people back with their loved ones if they're having difficulty with their hearing. It's a really cool job. Yeah.

Joshie 15:21

You did you and I did speak, as I mentioned, about a week or two ago. And when you spoke about your work, your eyes lit up. Like I could see that you had this genuine passion for what you do and making a difference to people's lives. Um there must be something incredibly fulfilling about working, I guess, at the coal face and seeing the tangible difference that you can make to people.

Libby 15:42

Yeah, it's very cool. You it could almost be like you're seeing a different person come back in the door after a couple of weeks when they've been able to reconnect with their world. Um, yeah. You know, that sometimes people talk about, would you rather would you rather lose your eyesight or would you rather lose your hearing? And I feel like everybody's default answer is always eyesight. And yet when you lose your hearing, you're losing your connection to everyone. That's so, so much more important than what people realise until they lose it.

Joshie 16:18

I hadn't really thought about it that way. It's sort of one of those um Sophie's choice dilemmas that I'm haven't had to be confronted with. But yeah, it's um well, I think the work that you you do is incredible. Um But it also sounds like at the same time that taking that back seat gave you an opportunity to be more present with your kids as well. Definitely. Um it sort of offers a little bit more, I guess, flexibility um to, I guess, w work to whatever capacity you can while still maintaining a balance between your other commitments, including parenting.

Libby 16:55

Yeah, definitely.

Joshie 16:58

And, you know, you're um clearly a very devoted mum, uh, Libby. There's um, you know, I see some of the things that you've posted on on Instagram and I think it was on Mother's Day that you you posted something that really stuck with me because I think it can be difficult as a parent and especially as a mum when you're caught up in the maelstrom of life. You wrote something along the lines of um to the world, you are a mum, to the kids you are the world. And it's something that which is just really beautiful. Um, because I think it really helps to remind us of um, you know, sometimes we have this propensity to compare and contrast with other uh parents, but yeah, to to your kids, you are the world.

Libby 17:42

Yeah, 100%.

Joshie 17:45

W what message were you trying to send in, I guess, posting that? Because it's something that really stuck with me.

Libby 17:51

I think I fall into the trap myself of feeling like I'm just a mum. Uh, and and that's part of why I like the running as well, like just having more facets to to me. Uh, and I I guess I wanted to remind others that sometimes you you can feel like you're just this, but actually to those little people, you are their whole world and they are watching you the whole time. And I grew up with a mum who was always putting everybody else first. And I would have loved to have seen her like fill her own cup at times. I wonder if it's you know part of the difference in generations. Yeah, I don't know.

Joshie 18:40

Well, at one point you decided that you wanted to fill your own cup. I think you saw your sister-in-law complete the Queenstown marathon and it lit a spark in you. Um was that the first time that you genuinely thought maybe this is something I can do?

Libby 18:58

Yeah. Oh, I mean, I think it had been in the back of my mind for a long time. It had been on it'd been sitting there on the bucket list, just waiting to be ticked off, and then seeing her go and complete it gave me that final push to be like, yeah, if she can do it, I can do it.

Joshie 19:17

And you fully committed to the process. So from what you told me, you've yeah, you've you you basically um you you had a plan uh done, you followed that plan to the T. You focused a lot on uh you know balance and and nutrition as well. Um I think you even adjusted your work arrangements, was it so that you could fit um that uh that's true commitment. Um and is did you thrive on having that structure to follow?

Libby 19:52

Yeah, I did. I did. Like, man, give me a box to tick, and that satisfaction with every session was yeah, was huge. Not that I enjoyed every session, but I enjoyed most of them, and I really enjoyed um being able to tick it off and see myself getting closer and closer to the goal.

Joshie 20:14

Yeah.

Libby 20:15

And did you off your kids in some of your training as well? Yeah, yeah, that was that was really cool. Yeah. Yeah. So sometimes we would go to the big park in Christchurch is called Hackley Park, and we'd all rock down there with scooters and bikes and um whilst I might be like doing some speed work, they'd be like giving me high fives or coming along. It was great. That's great. Yeah. That would have really helped the training. Yeah, yeah, it was fun. And thanks to my husband too, because like they they do not have the you know, patience to want to keep going after maybe 20 or 30 minutes. And so it's nice having another adult there. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah.

Joshie 21:01

You have to get creative when you're a parent and having to fit running in there as well. Um, there are some parents that I have seen will run on a treadmill so they can still be around their um the kids and interrupt their their sessions if they need to. I remember when I was training for my first marathon um and I had my kids, I'd um I found like this 800 meter circuit. And so I thought, well, the only way I'm going to be able to do this is have them at a playground and me do 800 meter loops and uh hope that um boring. Yeah, but that gives them that still gives them a good five minutes to wander off. So now you and I uh Libby touched briefly on the concept of imposter syndrome that um I I think a lot of our listeners will be familiar with, but no one's really spoken about it yet. We we will come back to it. Sure. But there was um a moment in your Training, you did a I think a 35k or a 34k long run. And I think it was at your goal pace as well. I actually before you and I connected, saw that and um and went, geez, that's like the one decent run. Um, was that the moment that you went, this is actually possible? Like, did it give you a sense of self-belief?

Libby 22:19

Definitely, definitely. I knew there's less than 10k to go. I felt like I had more in the tank at that point. Um, and I was like, oh, it's on. Like, let's let's do this. Uh yeah, yeah. And my predicted, you know, times were coming down. And yeah, I just kept shifting the goalposts, which in hindsight was probably not the smartest thing to do.

Natasha 22:43

So, did you actually, after doing that 34k run um at your goal pace, did that actually change your goal going forward? Yeah, it did. It did.

Libby 22:55

Yeah. And like initially when I started the training, it was like just a complete marathon. And then the first thing people start asking you is, oh, well, what sort of time do you hope to be doing it in? Yeah, yeah. And so I kind of looked at what I was running and I thought, oh, I don't know, four and a half to five hours. And then by the end of my training, I was like, sub four, sub four is what I'm going for.

Natasha 23:21

That's a fast time, too.

Joshie 23:23

It is. And that um 34k long run you did, I think was at 538 pace or something like that, like a pace that would have got you there.

Libby 23:31

Yeah, I felt like I was on track to do it.

Joshie 23:35

You were. Your running was great, you you said that you tapered really well, you were fueled well, um, but maybe subconsciously at the start line, um subconsciously, there may have been something going on. Um thinking back, I know this might be a very difficult thing to reflect on, but standing there on the start line, did you feel deserving of achieving the goal you set out to?

Libby 23:59

Yeah, that's such a good question. I don't know if I did. I don't know if I did. I thought um I feel like I almost trusted the training more than I trusted myself to execute on the day. Even though everything pointed to the fact that I could do it. I don't know whether I really believed I could.

Joshie 24:24

Yeah. I know it's difficult to try and picture an alternate scenario, but do you think that there's some I guess added pressure either being in a race environment? I mean, if you were to have run that marathon distance on your own where you're not being watched, you're not being uh, I guess, officially timed. Um do you think that would have changed your outlook on the day?

Libby 24:50

Uh do you know? I'm not sure. I think I was putting so much pressure on myself about that time. So, yeah, there's the pressure of the race environment, but I quite like everyone around. I I enjoy park run, you know, and I love trying to send it at a park run. Um so yeah, I don't I don't know if it was the race environment. I think I was putting the pressure on me and and uh at the same time not necessarily believing deep down that I could get there. It when you you even with all the even even with everything pointing to the fact that I could do it, I still yeah, I st yeah, it seemed ambitious, I guess. And do you know it reminded me a little bit of when I first applied to do audiology, I didn't get in the first time. And the second time I applied, the lecturers told me that in the interviews they felt like I didn't fully believe that I was going to be on the program, or it was like they sensed that yeah, I didn't I didn't believe that I deserved a spot there. And so when you asked me that question, it also took me back to that point. Yeah, as in, oh, maybe there's this recurring theme of imposter syndrome.

Joshie 26:23

Is that something that you were aware of at the time of the marathon? Or is it something that only retrospectively you sort of Yeah, yeah.

Libby 26:32

I mean, gosh, I feel like I was pre preparing as much as I possibly could, but uh how do you prepare yourself for that mind, that mental strength?

Joshie 26:47

I'm not sure. That's out of my area of expertise. I'm sorry, Livvy. Um during the marathon, you said that there were uh little things that started to affect you. You noticed uh was it a two or a three-lapse? Um four-lap course. Yeah. And I think you said that there were people who would run the half marathon that were finishing around the time that you were completing your second lap, and you noticed that there were ambulances or paramedics around, and that started to derail you a bit.

Libby 27:19

I think at the halfway point it was hearing the crowd saying, you've done it. Most people were running the half. I don't feel like the numbers were as high for the full. And so there was a lot of celebration that people were finishing. And I thought, man, I'm like not even halfway, I'm just halfway. And it was at that point that I saw the pacing balloons kind of go past me, and that affected me a lot.

Joshie 27:51

How so?

Libby 27:52

In the way that I was kind I didn't feel like I had the, I don't know, the speed or the energy to stay with them. It was like that was a real mental thing watching them go past. And I wonder how my pace would have been had I not seen them, or if I could just like have blinders on to not see the paces. Cause I could see like when I look back at my strava stats, I can see that I really dropped at that point, and I know that that affected me at that point. And it was probably closer to like the third and fourth laps where I was seeing more medical events on the course, and that was also affecting me. Yeah.

Natasha 28:38

Curious, um, if there was a big medical presence, was it also a hot day or something as well?

Libby 28:44

No, uh no, it was um it was just mild, it was a nice Christchurch day, it feels like air conditioning. Yeah.

Joshie 28:52

Okay. When the the the patient went past you, I mean, are we talking, you know, a hundred metres, two hundred meters ahead or um a relatively short distance that they managed to get ahead of you?

Libby 29:08

Uh well, I re I remember the balloons fading off into the distance somewhere in the second to third lap, and it was around that changeover and around hearing everyone finish their races for the half.

Joshie 29:24

Yeah. So can when you saw the pace and move ahead of you, can you remember what your thought process was at the time?

Libby 29:34

Uh I think my thought process was like, oh, there it goes. Like that was my there goes my goal.

Joshie 29:44

That's so disheartening. Yeah. Yeah. And did you try to I guess talk yourself through that and I guess remind yourself that it's okay, I can make up this time. Um or once you saw them go past, did you think that that was your one moment and that was it?

Libby 30:07

Yeah, it was. I didn't think I it didn't occur to me that I could try and catch them at some point. I think I'd talked to a friend before who'd given me a lot of great advice and she had said to me, I think she sensed that I was really like going for that time goal. And she had said, look, make sure you've got other goals as part of this race. And I think my brain went there. It went to my other goals, being like, Okay, can I tick them off? Am I still on track for those things? Rather than let's make a plan to catch. Yeah.

Joshie 30:48

So what was it like working through those final stages of the race knowing that you weren't going to achieve the goal you set out to? Uh it was a lot of things.

Libby 31:02

I mean, it felt it like it there was that element of disappointment in knowing that I wasn't going to, but then I was also um trying to remind myself of the other goals that I had and kind of celebrating that I was on track for them. Uh and then also looking out for, you know, friends and family, like there's so much going on at the same time.

Joshie 31:58

Because you depictured it so clearly beforehand. What expectations hadn't been met?

Libby 32:05

So not just the time, but who I would see at the end. Yeah. Yeah. Uh so I was looking around for my husband and kids, and I couldn't see them anywhere. Uh I could see my sister-in-law who'd been there the entire race, and she was there with some other friends who were cheering for me, and that was amazing. But like literally less than maybe 30 seconds of crossing that line, I saw them, and they had just arrived like just that moment too late, uh, because the smallest one had been, you know, throwing a massive tantrum and the traffic had been bad, and my poor husband has like had her under his arm, and they'd been running trying to get there. Uh, and so yeah, that it stung of not seeing them. But I also thought to myself within a day or two later, where who would I have rather been in that situation? Would I rather be the person that feels like you're letting your partner down with a screaming, you know, preschooler under your arm? Or would you rather be the person who's out there like running the marathon and achieving one of their bucket list life goals? I was like, Yeah, there'll be more marathons that they can be at the end at. Yeah.

Joshie 33:36

I know it's relatively fresh in your mind. It was a matter of what weeks ago now, not even a month, I think, since you ran the the marathon. Um looking back now, um, are you proud of yourself for what you achieved? Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you you should be. I mean, training for a marathon, uh it's no mean feat. And with kids. Sorry, the sacrifices that you um that you made. Um, you compromised on work. Um like Natasha said, you've got two young kids and you completely immerse yourself in the in the process and you not only completed your first marathon, you smashed it. Um one thing I am curious about, do you think that you ascribed too much emotional energy to the time goal that you'd set yourself?

Libby 34:32

100%. A hundred percent, yeah. And going forwards, because I want to run more, I want to run more marathons and more races going forwards. I feel like that was the biggest lesson I learned.

Joshie 34:47

Yeah.

Natasha 34:50

Did you hit your B goal out of curiosity? Because like going back to that 34k run you did, and it went so well. And I'm wondering if if your pace hadn't been so fast, you know, would the actual race been, would you have been happy with how you went?

Libby 35:08

Um one of the minimum goals was like complete the marathon. So I did that, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure.

Joshie 35:14

Yeah. Um it's the don't danger of continually revising expectations. Like we end up putting this added pressure on ourselves that's unnecessary. Um and I don't know if you use these exact words, Libby, when we spoke a few weeks ago, but I think you talked about redemption um with future races. Do you feel that you have unfinished business?

Libby 35:37

Yeah, 100%. 100%. But I I just think that my focus wouldn't be on the time because I have seen in my short like time of returning to doing some running and like how much the consistency pays off, that has just absolutely blown my mind. Uh, that if I just go out there and I'm consistent, how without trying my time has been coming down. And so my plan is to keep running, you know, maybe one marathon a year with some other races to keep the consistency and that naturally my time is going to come down without that being my like sole focus and without having all that emotional attachment to it. Uh, and it's so inspiring when you see that for other people and like you know, some of the people you've had on the podcast as well, uh, as like seeing people that are, you know, decades older than me. I'm like, man, that would be so cool to still be doing that and you know, being the fittest and strongest you've been as you're getting older. How cool. Yeah.

Joshie 36:52

I think it's amazing. I think you're doing amazingly well, Lippy. And you know, you've been very open in sharing your journey, not just today, but um, you know, on on Instagram. I mean, you have you've chronicled your journey, um, and that seemed quite important to you. Um I'm curious to explore whether or not you f um found that that added any pressure or provided support through the process.

Libby 37:20

It did both. It did both. It kept me accountable, which was the reason that I started it, because I was worried I would set a goal and then uh get lazy or something would happen and I'd make excuses. So that was the reason I started it. And then, yeah, both things happened. It did add pressure because I don't know about you guys, but I feel like when you're looking at social media, it's just natural to compare yourself. And I always felt like, man, there's all these super speedy runners out there, and wow. Uh it yeah, you you think, gosh, and then as you get a little bit faster, it's like, oh, maybe I could do this, maybe I could do that. Uh, and there's also the support. So if you ask, like I was blown away in asking for just tips for people running their first marathon, um, the amount of people who were willing to just give um the you know, the top things that they wish that they'd known going in or that they still are working on. Like the running community is just so generous and there's no gatekeeping. I just I love it. You get connected to awesome, awesome people. Um, and even, you know, you might have a not so good experience, and then someone else is like, oh, that happened to me too. And that's really powerful as well.

Joshie 38:55

And you're far from done, Libby. You mentioned uh you're harboring ambitions of running a marathon a year, which would be fantastic. But even this year, I think you've said you've got at least another half um lined up. You've got your first, is it your first backyard ultra in August?

Libby 39:10

Yeah, and I I just did a half on the weekend, and it was so nice not having that time pressure and you know having a great race. Yeah. Really good.

Joshie 39:22

What else have you got on the horizon goal-wise?

Libby 39:26

I think uh I think I'd like to do the runaway series. Um, because it seems like I think all of them maybe except Sydney, uh, you can run as a marathon. Okay. Yeah, Sydney's not a marathon. Yeah, yeah, but I think all the others can be.

Joshie 39:47

Noosa, you can. I've run there. So the Noosa's part of the runaway series, I think, that they have a um a full.

Libby 39:55

Queenstown as well, I think is it part of the Hawke's Bay, Auckland, Noosa, and yes, and so Sydney isn't, but I think all the rest are. And so my plan would be to a lot of marathons. Tick them off, not not like all to all at once, but tick them off slowly. Yeah.

Joshie 40:16

Now that you've run a marathon, um what can you tell me that that experience has taught you about yourself? What has it taught me about myself? Uh that's a tricky question. Uh I guess it's given me like a pride um in myself. And have you noticed any, I guess, uh changes or has it translated into other facets of life?

Libby 40:47

Yes, thank you. Uh yeah, I I think it just makes me show up better, like for everybody else for prioritizing my health, then I just have so much more energy to give. I often used to reach for a glass of wine in the evening. Like, I just feel like I'm ready to have a drink. And when I've been out for a run that day, I have less of that feeling. Yeah.

Joshie 41:24

And in terms of imposter syndrome, now that you've gone through this experience um and having chatted today, uh do you look at imposter syndrome in a different way?

Libby 41:38

No, I still feel like an imposter. I still, when you asked me to have a chat, I was like, really? What? You know. I didn't feel like I had much to share. Uh so I think that's something I'm still battling with. Yeah.

Joshie 41:58

Yeah. Libby, uh I sincerely appreciate your openness and honesty. You've um you've shared a brutal reality about navigating mind games that uh plenty of our listeners, I'm sure, can relate to. It takes a lot of courage to talk as openly as what you have. Um you're a devoted mum, a devoted partner, and a devoted worker. And at the same time, fully committing yourself to your running goals. Um I for one think that you're truly deserving of every success in your life, running or otherwise. Um, thanks so much for chatting with us today.

Libby 42:44

I feel like if there's a dad out running, that nobody is asking him, hey, like, who's got the kids while you're out for a run? Or how do you find the time to manage that? You know, where do you fit that in? Whereas I feel like it's just this double standard for mums. And so, yes, there's the mum tax in terms of, you know, your career and your job and the pay gap, but then it also spills over into these other facets of life.

Joshie 43:18

When I was um when my kids were really young, in fact, I think it was just my son who had been born at this stage, and I shared this story with my former partner uh that I was out with the boy, and this lady came up to me and she was like all enamored with my son and said, Oh, are you just giving mum a break? And I was like, Well, yeah, I guess so. And she like grabs me by the arm and she says, Good on you, dad. I get home and I tell my partner at the time what happened. And she said, You're not giving mum a break, you're just being a funny.

Natasha 44:00

Yeah, yeah.