WEBVTT 00:00:00.320 --> 00:00:03.439 Hey, well, if it's your first Sunday, we're in an interesting text, aren't we? 00:00:03.600 --> 00:00:03.919 All right. 00:00:04.000 --> 00:00:05.759 Hey, if you have a Bible, go ahead and open it up. 00:00:05.919 --> 00:00:19.600 First Peter chapter 3, verses 1 through 7, as we slowly walk through what Peter and who's speaking through him, what the Lord would have us hear and how he would have us live. 00:00:20.879 --> 00:00:25.839 We have been in 1 Peter for, I believe, six weeks now. 00:00:26.719 --> 00:00:37.200 And if I can just give you a quick brief on the book, if this is your first Sunday, the book of 1 Peter was written to elect exiles. 00:00:37.520 --> 00:00:40.479 We are elect by virtue of our faith in Christ. 00:00:40.640 --> 00:00:43.039 If you're a believer, you are one of God's people. 00:00:43.280 --> 00:00:46.799 If you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, you are God's people. 00:00:47.520 --> 00:00:50.640 But we are still exiles on the earth. 00:00:50.799 --> 00:00:52.719 We are awaiting eternity. 00:00:52.960 --> 00:00:58.880 And so we are hopeful as God's people, but still feel sometimes homeless. 00:00:59.119 --> 00:01:00.960 We are exiles awaiting eternity. 00:01:01.039 --> 00:01:03.119 This is not our future home. 00:01:03.679 --> 00:01:14.560 We are God's people by virtue of his first coming, but we still await the promise where he will return, bring the new heavens and new earth, and all will be made new, and he will dwell with us forever. 00:01:14.640 --> 00:01:17.120 We await that day eagerly. 00:01:17.519 --> 00:01:26.959 But since he is not returned yet, we have duty in the meantime to live in a certain way as exiles for the world to see our King. 00:01:28.000 --> 00:01:43.359 So, the book, while it is bookended by hope, the hope we have because of Jesus' first coming, and the hope we have at Jesus' second coming, the middle portion of the book is a call to live holy lives in the midst of a hostile world. 00:01:43.840 --> 00:01:49.920 A call to live holy lives in the midst of a hostile world, again, within our mind the hope that we have. 00:01:50.159 --> 00:02:09.919 And that is, because of Jesus Christ's resurrection, we have a living hope that is worth our sacrifice, that is greater than our suffering, and that will not surrender at death. 00:02:10.319 --> 00:02:11.919 It will survive it. 00:02:13.039 --> 00:02:19.120 The portion of 1 Peter, the call to holiness that we're in, regards marriage this morning. 00:02:19.360 --> 00:02:22.960 So for those of you who are married, this pertains directly to you. 00:02:23.120 --> 00:02:32.400 And for those of you who are not yet married, there are plenty of biblical nuggets that I hope you kind of take in and uh and follow. 00:02:32.879 --> 00:02:35.280 1 Peter chapter 30, verses 1 through 7. 00:02:35.520 --> 00:02:40.719 We just read it, but I just want to point out a few things before we get into an outline. 00:02:41.199 --> 00:02:51.759 You'll notice that the first six verses are a message for wives, with the first command, be subject to your husbands. 00:02:52.080 --> 00:03:04.639 You'll notice verse 7 now is a shift to the focus of husbands, and the command to husbands is to live with their wives in an understanding way, showing honor. 00:03:06.960 --> 00:03:10.560 So, how are we going to walk through this text this morning? 00:03:10.800 --> 00:03:12.960 You have a very detailed outline. 00:03:13.039 --> 00:03:16.319 I know the numbers on some of them start with seven. 00:03:16.400 --> 00:03:18.159 That's a misprint on my behalf. 00:03:18.319 --> 00:03:19.280 Sorry about that. 00:03:19.759 --> 00:03:22.960 So it should start at one if it starts at seven on your paper. 00:03:23.120 --> 00:03:25.280 But there are six points this morning. 00:03:25.599 --> 00:03:26.879 And let me just say this. 00:03:27.120 --> 00:03:51.759 While being married will not differentiate Christians in America, just as it did not differentiate Christians in Rome in their day, simply being married by the state, the way that we operate relationally within our marriages should distinguish us as believers in the midst of our communities and in our world. 00:03:52.080 --> 00:03:59.520 How we operate relationally in obedience to Jesus surely will distinguish us as Christians. 00:03:59.840 --> 00:04:11.840 Christian marriages in Rome were different, and they looked foreign to the rest of the world, as foreign as a Christian's relationship to Jesus. 00:04:12.159 --> 00:04:16.800 So the question is, okay, so what is different about Christians and marriage and their marriages? 00:04:16.959 --> 00:04:20.959 What's different about the way that they relate to one another before a watching world? 00:04:21.120 --> 00:04:26.720 What does it look like to live as a holy witness in a hostile world in our marriages? 00:04:27.759 --> 00:04:33.839 Well, before I get into that, let me give you a word along with its definition. 00:04:35.839 --> 00:04:37.839 The word is provocative. 00:04:39.199 --> 00:04:51.199 The definition of the word provocative is to cause annoyance, anger, or another strong reaction, sometimes deliberately. 00:04:51.920 --> 00:05:01.040 I define that word as we begin because the statements I will make this morning concerning Christian marriage will be counter-cultural. 00:05:02.399 --> 00:05:12.160 They may be the cause of annoyance, anger, or another strong reaction in our culture and therefore be provocative to its people. 00:05:14.399 --> 00:05:47.680 And yet, my concern, however, is that while I'll be attributing these statements as quote-unquote provocative, according to the emotion they will most assuredly elicit in our culture, they may unfortunately come across as provocative to many Christians as well, who have become so accustomed to a world's definition of marriage and how we operate within it, that is not holy, but rather somewhat hostile to God's holy word. 00:05:48.160 --> 00:06:00.720 So I pray this morning, like this is my prayer for us together, that God would give us the grace to taste and see that his word is not only true, but is good. 00:06:01.279 --> 00:06:03.680 It's actually good for human flourishing. 00:06:03.920 --> 00:06:08.399 It's good for relationships, it's good for our soul. 00:06:09.920 --> 00:06:16.480 All of his word, including his commands to wives and to husbands within the confines of a covenant marriage. 00:06:16.639 --> 00:06:25.360 So this morning, your outline as you see it on your paper is six countercultural statements regarding marriage as exiles. 00:06:26.399 --> 00:06:29.759 Before we get into it, would you join me in a word of prayer? 00:06:32.399 --> 00:06:36.079 And I ask as you pray, would you pray this along with me? 00:06:38.800 --> 00:06:49.360 God, would you give us the grace to taste and see your commands for our lives are good and properly understood. 00:06:50.319 --> 00:06:51.120 Properly understood. 00:06:51.199 --> 00:06:55.439 By the power of your spirit, help us understand, properly understood, and rightly obeyed. 00:06:57.439 --> 00:07:07.680 Give us the grace to see that they lead to life and blessing in our relationship with you and in our relationship with one another. 00:07:08.480 --> 00:07:09.120 Amen. 00:07:10.720 --> 00:07:17.680 Six counter-cultural statements as we walk through this passage dedicated to exilic marriages. 00:07:17.920 --> 00:07:28.319 Number one, the first counter-cultural statement, not necessarily Christians, but in our culture, is that men can teach women. 00:07:31.360 --> 00:07:32.399 Now, why do I say that? 00:07:32.480 --> 00:07:36.079 Because there's some things that we have to assume walking through this passage. 00:07:36.399 --> 00:07:53.360 For examining the context of the passage, we recognize that Peter, an apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ, a man, is writing to Christians, and specifically for six verses, writing to women on how they might serve their husbands in obedience to the Lord. 00:07:54.000 --> 00:08:04.399 I mean, how how arrogant for Peter to assume he could, much less should, instruct women in how they ought to operate in marriage in a relationship, right? 00:08:06.079 --> 00:08:27.519 Well, while I believe women are both able and biblically encouraged to aid other women in instruction in every aspect of the Christian life, that does not mean that biblically qualified men are not able to, and in some cases, commanded to as well. 00:08:28.319 --> 00:08:31.040 Take, for example, our time this morning. 00:08:31.279 --> 00:08:45.679 This morning I have the audacity of teaching women in this room, of which I am not, many of whom are or will one day be wives, how they ought to biblically operate within marriage in submission to their husbands. 00:08:47.279 --> 00:08:55.919 I mean, am I exhibiting the utmost peak of toxic masculinity? 00:08:57.200 --> 00:08:58.399 I don't think so. 00:08:58.639 --> 00:09:00.559 And maybe you say, well, of course you don't think so. 00:09:00.639 --> 00:09:02.080 You're the one talking. 00:09:02.399 --> 00:09:07.039 Maybe you think that's the epitome of toxicity, which is a really good band name, by the way. 00:09:07.200 --> 00:09:08.480 Epitome of toxicity. 00:09:08.720 --> 00:09:10.639 But here's why I don't think so. 00:09:10.960 --> 00:09:28.080 If you believe the Bible to be the infallible, inerrant, sufficient word of God, you recognize that God has established teachers of his word, a group of called and qualified men to be pastors or elders from 1 Timothy chapter 3, who are responsible to teach and preach the whole counsel of God's word. 00:09:28.480 --> 00:09:45.679 2 Timothy chapter 3, verse 4, 3 and 4, 1 Timothy 5, Acts chapter 20, verse 27, to teach the whole counsel of God's word to all who comprise a local church, Hebrews 13, verse 17, including men and women, husbands and wives, the elderly and children. 00:09:46.080 --> 00:09:55.440 And the word of God that these qualified men are to teach in the gathered church has instruction for both men and women, husbands and wives. 00:09:55.919 --> 00:10:14.159 And to avoid certain passages from the Word of God that God has given me to teach based upon my gender and the gender of the intended audience is not only sexist, but to hold back from another God's good and gracious design and desire so that we all might thrive and obey God as his people. 00:10:14.399 --> 00:10:21.120 So, yes, men can teach women in some contexts, and in specific cases, it's even a command of God. 00:10:22.879 --> 00:10:27.600 Now that we've gotten past that, second counter-cultural statement. 00:10:28.559 --> 00:10:34.159 Christian marriage is between a man and a woman. 00:10:35.759 --> 00:10:48.480 Now you'll notice in this passage about marriage that there is no mention of marriage between a man and a man or between a woman and a woman, in short, because there is no such thing. 00:10:57.039 --> 00:11:02.000 In fact, after he created Adam, he said, Not everything's good. 00:11:03.200 --> 00:11:07.600 He created a part of Adam to be a counterpart for Adam. 00:11:08.080 --> 00:11:11.759 And Adam, seeing the woman, says, This is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. 00:11:11.919 --> 00:11:13.679 He became a poet in a moment. 00:11:14.480 --> 00:11:19.679 And they came together, they were one flesh, and they lived together. 00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:24.720 God designed the man specifically for the woman and the woman, specifically for the man. 00:11:24.879 --> 00:11:31.279 And then he designed a relationship for them both to have called marriage, to be a covenant between them and God. 00:11:32.320 --> 00:11:42.639 And then he gave them opportunity for an intimate relationship between those two members of the opposite sex in and only in that covenant of marriage. 00:11:43.600 --> 00:11:51.919 The New Testament only further writes affirming that relationship that God designed and gives no opportunity for any other type of relationship. 00:11:52.159 --> 00:11:53.600 In fact, it condemns it twice. 00:11:53.759 --> 00:11:56.399 Romans chapter 1 and 1 Corinthians chapter 6. 00:11:56.799 --> 00:12:08.399 So any deviation, this is in your notes, from that design is a perversion of God's intention and the creation of what it means to be male and female. 00:12:08.559 --> 00:12:09.919 It's a perversion. 00:12:10.879 --> 00:12:16.799 It's a rejection of his design of the relationship of marriage, because he designed that thing. 00:12:17.919 --> 00:12:26.960 And it's a pursuit of disobedience that does not lead to fullness in this life or a future after death. 00:12:27.279 --> 00:12:42.480 I chose every word very carefully there, but I want to just point out 1 Corinthians chapter 6 for a moment, where it lists many sins, homosexuality being one of them, saying that do you not know that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God? 00:12:42.720 --> 00:12:44.720 And yet, hear me. 00:12:45.440 --> 00:12:48.080 Paul is writing to the church at Corinth. 00:12:48.639 --> 00:12:53.120 In Corinth, there were people who struggled with every single one of the sins he listed. 00:12:53.360 --> 00:12:58.399 And he says, That was some of you. 00:12:58.639 --> 00:13:00.080 But you've been washed. 00:13:00.639 --> 00:13:02.159 You've been sanctified. 00:13:02.399 --> 00:13:05.279 You've been justified in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. 00:13:05.440 --> 00:13:09.519 In other words, God still has a plan for people who are living in sin. 00:13:09.679 --> 00:13:10.799 It's a good plan. 00:13:10.879 --> 00:13:13.360 It's for their flourishing and their future after death. 00:13:13.600 --> 00:13:16.799 Oh, would you submit to Jesus Christ first and foremost? 00:13:17.279 --> 00:13:20.559 He goes on to say, as Christians, our bodies belong to God. 00:13:20.639 --> 00:13:22.000 They're not our own. 00:13:22.320 --> 00:13:30.720 And we are to honor him by obeying his commands, not as they are a burden, but as a blessing to our very lives. 00:13:32.000 --> 00:13:36.799 So, in countercultural statement number two, there is much more I could say. 00:13:37.759 --> 00:13:39.440 But I will not say more. 00:13:39.679 --> 00:13:46.480 And I only say what I have said, because Peter assumes as Christians we accept this. 00:13:46.639 --> 00:13:48.320 He assumes it writing it. 00:13:49.840 --> 00:13:55.600 Number three, the third countercultural statement from our text this morning. 00:14:02.480 --> 00:14:07.200 Husbands are called to lovingly lead in the home. 00:14:07.919 --> 00:14:19.919 And we know, as Christians, the word love, as it is ought to be translated here, as agape, a Greek word, which means sacrifice. 00:14:20.320 --> 00:14:24.080 They're supposed to sacrifice themselves for their brides. 00:14:24.320 --> 00:14:29.600 Men are called to lovingly lead in their home, sacrificing their ambition, yes, their very lives. 00:14:29.840 --> 00:14:37.120 Wives are to serve or to submit to their husbands with respect, offering respect to him in that position. 00:14:37.840 --> 00:14:41.200 Now, I hope your Bibles are open so you can see that I'm not making this up. 00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:42.240 Verse one. 00:14:43.120 --> 00:14:48.639 Wives are to be subject to or to submit to their own husbands. 00:14:49.279 --> 00:14:50.399 Let's be very clear. 00:14:50.559 --> 00:14:54.159 This is not all women are to submit to all men. 00:14:54.559 --> 00:14:59.759 This is wives are to submit to their own husbands. 00:15:01.120 --> 00:15:08.159 That is, a man is to lead and a wife is to follow within the home. 00:15:08.799 --> 00:15:13.120 That does not mean, uh, so let me just clear up some misconceptions here. 00:15:13.279 --> 00:15:17.039 That does not mean there are not two votes when decisions are made. 00:15:18.080 --> 00:15:24.240 When my wife and I are about to make a big decision, I listen to her counsel very carefully. 00:15:24.480 --> 00:15:27.759 And if I do not, I am, I would argue, sinning. 00:15:29.440 --> 00:15:34.480 And yet I will bear the responsibility of making the decision at the end of the day. 00:15:35.679 --> 00:15:38.960 I will stand before God to give an account for decisions that we make. 00:15:39.840 --> 00:15:52.559 This is what it means to sacrifice even what I want to listen to my wife, to lead her well in fear and admonition of the Lord, as she follows the Lord, and I watch her and see her godliness, and hopefully emulate her example as well. 00:15:54.639 --> 00:15:59.039 Paul, not Peter, uh, he echoes this twice in the scriptures. 00:15:59.279 --> 00:16:07.039 I'll just give you one example, Colossians chapter 3, where it says similarly, wives submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. 00:16:07.279 --> 00:16:10.240 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. 00:16:10.799 --> 00:16:12.480 Children obey your parents in everything. 00:16:12.559 --> 00:16:14.320 This is pleasing to the Lord. 00:16:14.879 --> 00:16:20.000 Now, of course, you want to ask the question, questions like you might ask tonight from 5 to 7 p.m. 00:16:20.080 --> 00:16:22.320 when you're going to come to our Ask Evan Sunday. 00:16:22.639 --> 00:16:28.559 Is this merely a cultural phenomenon that Peter is is living within? 00:16:28.720 --> 00:16:33.759 So is he is he doing this because this is a cultural idea, ideal? 00:16:34.159 --> 00:16:35.200 I don't think so. 00:16:35.360 --> 00:16:36.480 Um and here's why. 00:16:36.639 --> 00:16:41.039 Because Paul and Peter had no problem going against cultural ideals for many different things. 00:16:41.279 --> 00:16:43.120 Jesus didn't either. 00:16:44.879 --> 00:16:57.919 For example, uh in the Roman view of the day, women were seen to be in that cultural culture culturally inferior in value to their male counterpart. 00:16:58.639 --> 00:17:02.799 Yet Peter and Paul both trumpeted the equality of women in value. 00:17:03.039 --> 00:17:17.359 Paul in Galatians 3.28 saying that they're both one that is equal in Christ Jesus, and Peter in verse 7 saying in our text that they are both wives and husbands, men and women, co-heirs of God's grace together. 00:17:19.359 --> 00:17:37.200 So since they then embrace the equality of men and women in value, dignity, and worth, they must believe, as should we, that a difference in a person's role does not designate a difference in someone's value. 00:17:39.680 --> 00:17:41.359 Let me repeat that. 00:17:57.920 --> 00:18:00.240 This is something our culture rejects. 00:18:00.480 --> 00:18:06.799 Our culture says for someone to be equal in who they are, they must be exact in what they do. 00:18:06.960 --> 00:18:08.319 That's not true. 00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:09.759 Simply not true. 00:18:09.920 --> 00:18:14.640 For example, my son and my daughter have a seven-year-old boy and I have a five-year-old girl. 00:18:14.799 --> 00:18:17.440 Uh, my son and my daughter are equally loved. 00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:21.759 And some days they they kind of they work hard, but no, I'm kidding. 00:18:21.920 --> 00:18:24.079 My son and my daughter are equally loved. 00:18:24.319 --> 00:18:27.680 Both stand before Jess and I as our children. 00:18:27.839 --> 00:18:41.759 However, the way that we teach our son to care for himself and others will not be at every time exactly the same as the way we teach our daughter to care for herself and for others, because they have been made differently. 00:18:42.559 --> 00:18:43.119 Physically. 00:18:43.279 --> 00:18:46.720 They're made differently, psychologically differently. 00:18:46.960 --> 00:18:50.079 However, that in no way means that we love them unequally. 00:18:50.480 --> 00:19:02.799 Rather, we care for what is best for them individually, and we don't assume that what is best for my son in any given moment is the best for my daughter in any given moment, because they've been created differently, physically and psychologically. 00:19:06.240 --> 00:19:10.400 Let's not only look at this from a practical level, but a theological level. 00:19:10.640 --> 00:19:24.799 Paul writes, inspired by God's Spirit in Ephesians chapter five, regarding marriage, rooting the role of a wife's submission to her husband, to Christ's submission to his father. 00:19:25.039 --> 00:19:27.359 Ephesians chapter 5, beginning verse 22. 00:19:27.680 --> 00:19:37.359 Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 00:19:37.759 --> 00:19:43.759 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to everything, in everything to their husbands. 00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:51.119 Therefore, submission to one's husband is acting in submission to one's Lord. 00:19:53.759 --> 00:19:59.519 Submission does not imply inferiority. 00:19:59.839 --> 00:20:04.319 In fact, biblically, it cannot imply inferiority. 00:20:04.960 --> 00:20:17.039 For Christ, who is not inferior to his father, submits willingly to his father as a picture of love on display for marriages to see and to emulate. 00:20:30.799 --> 00:20:39.759 This means, biblically speaking, men are to be the sacrificial leaders of a Christian home. 00:20:40.160 --> 00:20:50.720 Now, if you have a broken family and did not grow up with a father, or grew up with an unbelieving father, or maybe a father who left you, I have many friends who that is the case. 00:20:50.880 --> 00:20:59.279 Um that does not mean that in any way you are in any way less loved by God. 00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:04.400 You have, however, most likely felt its effects as great as your mom is. 00:21:08.079 --> 00:21:18.720 God gives us a framework to follow for future marriages and for marriages now, even if they have not been what you've experienced or not what you are experiencing. 00:21:18.799 --> 00:21:21.279 Now, I just want to give you a few statistics on this. 00:21:21.599 --> 00:21:25.920 Statistics are clear on the life of God's good design in this way. 00:21:26.160 --> 00:21:29.680 Where men lead, homes and neighborhoods flourish. 00:21:29.839 --> 00:21:36.799 Where men are absent, homes and neighborhoods are disadvantaged. 00:21:37.440 --> 00:21:46.720 Children raised without a father statistically are twice as likely to commit suicide, statistically, show higher levels of aggressive behavior than children born to married mothers. 00:21:47.119 --> 00:21:59.680 Children raised without a father make up 71% of high school dropouts, are more likely to be truant from school, more likely to be excluded from school, more likely to leave school at age 16, and less likely to attain academic and professional qualifications in adulthood. 00:21:59.839 --> 00:22:02.160 They're almost four times more likely to be poor. 00:22:02.240 --> 00:22:09.279 They're 279% more likely to deal drugs, and are more likely to report being sexually active and have a higher rate of teen pregnancy. 00:22:10.160 --> 00:22:21.759 I spout off statistics not to say I told you show, but just to simply say God's ethic for his design in a marriage relationship is actually really good for the flourishing of a home and for a society. 00:22:22.880 --> 00:22:31.200 Where there are no fathers leading in the home, families hurt, kids are disadvantaged, and communities are more dangerous every time. 00:22:33.599 --> 00:22:39.200 So, what's the design that God has in the context of a loving marriage relationships? 00:22:39.599 --> 00:22:51.279 It is simply this Ephesians chapter 5, a husband is to lay down his life as Christ has laid down his life for his bride, as Christ has laid down his life for his bride, the church. 00:22:51.519 --> 00:22:59.279 So where men may want certain things, they are to be willing to leave them off the table to love faithfully their wives. 00:22:59.519 --> 00:23:10.559 Lay down their ambition, lay down their desire, lay down their simple wants for the sake of their wife to flourish. 00:23:11.119 --> 00:23:20.079 And women responding to such sacrificial love are to respect their husband, honoring him as the person that is willingly giving up his life. 00:23:20.240 --> 00:23:29.920 When either one of the two in that marriage give up their role of doing that, marriage does not look as beautiful as Jesus intends it to look for a watching world. 00:23:30.640 --> 00:23:34.720 Men are supposed to give up their lives for their wives. 00:23:34.880 --> 00:23:38.160 Women are supposed to give their lives to their husbands. 00:23:38.559 --> 00:23:46.880 This is the beautiful relationship structure designed by God that leads to flourishing in the home and out of the home in the world. 00:23:47.519 --> 00:23:48.400 Number four. 00:23:48.640 --> 00:23:52.640 Number four, fourth countercultural statement. 00:24:08.319 --> 00:24:12.400 Well, this has been his pattern so far in this section of 1 Peter. 00:24:12.559 --> 00:24:13.359 In fact, you can see it. 00:24:13.440 --> 00:24:21.359 If you have your Bible open, you'll notice in chapter 2, beginning in verse 13, and then again in verse 18, I think. 00:24:21.920 --> 00:24:32.640 18, you'll notice that Peter continually looks at the one who is to submit as to be a picture of what humility looks like to a world. 00:24:32.960 --> 00:24:45.119 So Peter continues this framework of looking at the culturally inferior person, culturally inferior person, with the holy witness of Christ as the goal. 00:24:45.440 --> 00:24:56.160 And his instruction throughout this section, verse 13, verse 18, verse 1, and chapter 3 is that humility is the normative posture of a holy witness in a hostile world. 00:24:56.559 --> 00:24:58.240 Humility is to be pursued. 00:24:58.640 --> 00:25:00.240 You're culturally inferior. 00:25:00.400 --> 00:25:08.640 Don't try to rebelliously go against that, rather serve the one that the culture sees higher than you as an example of Christ serving you. 00:25:09.920 --> 00:25:10.960 Humility. 00:25:26.160 --> 00:25:28.160 Wives, be subject to your own husbands. 00:25:28.400 --> 00:25:29.039 You see it? 00:25:29.680 --> 00:25:30.640 So that. 00:25:47.440 --> 00:25:49.279 Another way of saying Christians. 00:25:50.319 --> 00:26:04.079 So that even if some do not obey the word, they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 00:26:14.799 --> 00:26:29.359 Peter's hope in a marriage is that a wife's godly behavior in submission to her husband might be the means by which that husband hears, sees Christ, and comes to follow him, comes to know the Lord. 00:26:31.039 --> 00:26:37.519 So while salvation is not guaranteed, while salvation is uh uh not guaranteed, it is the goal. 00:26:39.759 --> 00:26:52.480 Oh, believing spouse, might your conduct be a witness of your Christ and confirm what you believe, and commend your Christ. 00:26:54.640 --> 00:27:03.200 Now, in this context, there may be some instances where a wife, because of her submission to Jesus, which comes first, may not be able to submit to her husband. 00:27:05.119 --> 00:27:07.839 Husband says, You must obey my God. 00:27:09.039 --> 00:27:10.640 God being a different God. 00:27:11.119 --> 00:27:13.839 Well, a Christian wife cannot do that. 00:27:14.400 --> 00:27:15.920 Because Jesus comes first. 00:27:18.400 --> 00:27:33.440 We have examples in Greco-Roman history where um because of the wife's cultural inferiority in the time that this was written, they were expected and even commanded to adopt the gods of their husbands. 00:27:35.519 --> 00:27:39.920 Obviously, a Christian wife could not do that, and it would cause strife. 00:27:41.519 --> 00:27:43.359 So Peter has this in mind. 00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:52.960 He calls you to obey his Lord, you cannot do that, but but in everything, you can serve him well. 00:27:53.920 --> 00:27:55.359 Show him Christ. 00:27:56.160 --> 00:28:04.319 So you can imagine the differences of opinion, uh the differences of goals and aim and rearing children and raising them up to know and love and serve the Lord. 00:28:04.480 --> 00:28:08.880 If your husband does not believe in that, Lord, you can imagine how difficult that became. 00:28:14.400 --> 00:28:17.279 And you can't obey Ebud, you have to obey Christ. 00:28:17.359 --> 00:28:20.559 And he's calling you to do that, you can't do that, but you must submit to him and serve him. 00:28:20.640 --> 00:28:23.440 And so it causes strife in the marriage, especially how to raise children. 00:28:23.599 --> 00:28:28.400 That's why in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul addresses that. 00:28:29.119 --> 00:28:36.480 If he leaves you, if he leaves you, your husband, unbelieving husband, you can let him leave. 00:28:38.160 --> 00:28:43.200 Because you wouldn't know in all your trying if you would ever lead him to the Lord. 00:28:45.119 --> 00:28:53.039 Paul and Peter knew how difficult it would be for husbands and wives who serve the same God to live together, to love one another. 00:28:53.279 --> 00:28:55.839 Because their definition of love is different. 00:28:56.960 --> 00:29:15.119 So if you are not married and you are planning on getting married, and you're a woman in this room, please hear my pastoral counselor, whether I'm your pastor or this is your first Sunday, please pursue a man who loves Jesus. 00:29:15.519 --> 00:29:16.319 Please. 00:29:17.039 --> 00:29:23.759 Who submits to him, who knows that love looks like sacrificing himself for you. 00:29:25.920 --> 00:29:28.880 Life otherwise will be very hard. 00:29:30.319 --> 00:29:32.799 Especially when it comes to raising children. 00:29:36.480 --> 00:29:37.599 The command? 00:29:39.359 --> 00:29:44.720 If you were to marry an unbelieving husband, Peter says submission is the role. 00:29:44.880 --> 00:29:49.039 And if possible, I think this is in your notes, salvation's the goal. 00:29:49.759 --> 00:29:53.200 Submission is the role, and if possible, salvation's the goal. 00:29:53.759 --> 00:29:54.640 Isn't it interesting? 00:29:54.799 --> 00:29:59.680 Peter's point here if you can't influence with your words, you can influence by how you serve. 00:30:00.559 --> 00:30:07.839 Your unbelieving husband may not hear you as you speak, but he will certainly see you as you serve. 00:30:09.599 --> 00:30:18.960 And your respect for him and pure conduct may just win him to Christ because your actions, yes, they validate your faith in God. 00:30:20.160 --> 00:30:22.240 Fifth countercultural statement. 00:30:23.599 --> 00:30:27.680 A wife's focus should be on her internal beauty. 00:30:27.920 --> 00:30:29.759 Her internal beauty. 00:30:31.839 --> 00:30:42.559 Not only does God tell us that the faith of wives may be observed by their obedience in the home, but now he tells that their faith may be authenticated in their outlook upon life. 00:30:42.799 --> 00:31:00.720 Do not let your adorning be external, verse 3, the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, the clothing you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 00:31:00.880 --> 00:31:02.720 What's precious in God's sight? 00:31:06.240 --> 00:31:10.640 Peter says, Focus on inner beauty more than outer beauty. 00:31:12.640 --> 00:31:13.359 Hear me. 00:31:13.519 --> 00:31:16.480 Attractiveness is a thing. 00:31:22.960 --> 00:31:28.880 But where should you spend your time and focus, wife and yes, even husband, I think. 00:31:31.279 --> 00:31:32.400 Your heart. 00:31:33.039 --> 00:31:34.240 Your heart. 00:31:35.599 --> 00:31:44.000 God more deeply desires the purity of what's in your heart than what will be one day on your hand. 00:31:45.599 --> 00:31:52.640 His primary concern is not how you look or what you have, but who you are. 00:31:53.359 --> 00:31:55.359 That's God's primary concern. 00:31:56.160 --> 00:32:03.759 So focus on, set your attention toward, desire with your entire being the inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. 00:32:03.920 --> 00:32:07.440 Oh, how that goes against what our culture desires for womanhood, doesn't it? 00:32:08.400 --> 00:32:13.119 Oh, how much care we put into how we look so we can get the looks we crave. 00:32:14.079 --> 00:32:24.400 I mean, the message here for Christians, women in our culture today is stop dressing to impress people that care more about what you can provide than who you are as a person. 00:32:25.279 --> 00:32:33.200 He says, focus on inner beauty and the relationships you have so that you put on Christ as a display and not yourself. 00:32:33.440 --> 00:32:35.759 He says this beauty is imperishable. 00:32:36.000 --> 00:32:38.319 It doesn't go with age. 00:32:40.559 --> 00:32:42.319 It doesn't go with age. 00:32:43.200 --> 00:32:47.440 Lastly, he says, this is how the holy women used to adorn themselves. 00:32:47.680 --> 00:32:59.119 So sometimes a preacher will utilize uh stories outside the Bible, uh, and sometimes they'll use stories inside of the Bible, like in the Old Testament, to give as an example of what this looks like. 00:32:59.279 --> 00:32:59.839 All right. 00:33:00.160 --> 00:33:04.480 Uh that is what Peter is doing in the Old Testament. 00:33:04.559 --> 00:33:12.079 Here he's giving an example of what it looks like to not only focus on internal beauty, but to serve one's husband. 00:33:12.480 --> 00:33:19.039 This is how the holy women used to adorn themselves as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. 00:33:19.599 --> 00:33:25.759 Now, I have four uh well, yeah, I have four weddings I'm doing next year, uh, right now planned. 00:33:25.920 --> 00:33:30.799 Um, and I and I I'm so looking forward to uh premarital counseling, which is required. 00:33:30.880 --> 00:33:34.799 And preminal counseling week number three, where we talk about the lordship of the husband. 00:33:34.880 --> 00:33:35.440 I'm just kidding. 00:33:35.519 --> 00:33:36.079 That's not true. 00:33:36.240 --> 00:33:36.559 All right. 00:33:36.640 --> 00:33:38.240 Uh I say that as a joke. 00:33:38.480 --> 00:33:40.400 But this is a unique example given. 00:33:40.559 --> 00:33:44.319 Maybe you okay, am I supposed to call my husband Lord? 00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:48.799 Uh I cannot tell you anytime my wife has called me Lord. 00:33:49.519 --> 00:33:50.240 Maybe we can talk about that. 00:33:50.319 --> 00:33:51.039 No, I'm just kidding. 00:33:51.119 --> 00:33:51.440 All right. 00:33:51.519 --> 00:33:53.440 Uh so what is this saying? 00:33:53.680 --> 00:33:55.200 What is going on here? 00:33:55.759 --> 00:34:04.720 Well, the odd thing about Peter bringing this up is that it's like a simple offhand comment that Sarah makes to Abraham one time in Genesis. 00:34:06.640 --> 00:34:08.159 Genesis 18, 12. 00:34:09.039 --> 00:34:10.000 My Lord. 00:34:11.440 --> 00:34:20.960 And what Peter finds remarkable in that story, Genesis 18, verse 12, is that even in casual situations, Sarah respected Abraham's leadership. 00:34:21.199 --> 00:34:25.519 And if you follow Abraham's story, he was not always very great. 00:34:26.000 --> 00:34:28.239 He gave her up to the Egyptian princess. 00:34:30.320 --> 00:34:36.480 But she referred to him with respect and dignity, even when he was not perfect by any account. 00:34:39.840 --> 00:34:41.280 She respected him as her husband. 00:34:41.360 --> 00:34:43.119 And Peter says, Man, look at that. 00:34:43.280 --> 00:34:44.719 That's remarkable. 00:34:45.519 --> 00:34:47.039 He just gives an example. 00:34:47.360 --> 00:34:49.599 Man, Abraham was a flawed man. 00:34:49.760 --> 00:34:51.199 But look at Sarah. 00:34:51.679 --> 00:34:53.360 And she respects him. 00:34:54.159 --> 00:35:02.400 Peter is reflecting upon Sarah's character in that day and encouraging the sort of attitude to be emulated in our day. 00:35:04.320 --> 00:35:09.119 Sixth countercultural statement, and probably the one that has taken the most out of context. 00:35:09.199 --> 00:35:11.280 If you're hanging in with me, I'm glad. 00:35:13.440 --> 00:35:15.599 Wives are a weaker vessel. 00:35:17.039 --> 00:35:24.719 I've done QA's uh in settings of colleges uh a number of times, and this is often a passage that's brought up. 00:35:25.039 --> 00:35:33.840 Why is the Bible um demeaning, belittling to women? 00:35:34.800 --> 00:35:36.400 Wives are a weaker vessel. 00:35:36.480 --> 00:35:37.280 That's the phrase. 00:35:39.199 --> 00:35:45.519 Husbands likewise live with your wives in an honoring way, recognizing they are a weaker vessel. 00:35:46.079 --> 00:35:56.559 So I think it's often true that people get mad about things before they realize what they're arguing against. 00:35:56.719 --> 00:35:57.920 Wouldn't you agree? 00:35:58.159 --> 00:35:59.519 That happens a lot, right? 00:35:59.679 --> 00:36:02.159 Look at YouTube comment sections all the time, right? 00:36:03.039 --> 00:36:12.159 The New Testament authors, if we're just to take the New Testament, lay it out, have a much higher view of women than the culture did of that day. 00:36:12.320 --> 00:36:13.119 No doubt. 00:36:13.360 --> 00:36:19.360 Women in Rome were seen as subservient, inferior, and less valuable when compared to men in ancient Rome. 00:36:19.599 --> 00:36:31.119 But in contrast with the ancient Roman culture, the New Testament consistently stresses the value of women before God, displays their ministry to others, shows their giftings and service, and instructs us of their equal position before God. 00:36:31.280 --> 00:36:37.599 So when I see the phrase weaker vessel, I do not take it to be referring to weakness in spirit. 00:36:38.960 --> 00:36:43.679 I do not take it to be referring to weakness in mental capacity or in emotion. 00:36:44.000 --> 00:36:52.079 In fact, women, in my personal experience, are often more courageous to engage emotionally than men are. 00:37:29.679 --> 00:37:36.239 Now, before you immediately take umbrage with this, and that this is your first time redeemer, sitting here like, how dare he, right? 00:37:36.480 --> 00:37:40.800 So let me qualify and give a few examples. 00:37:41.039 --> 00:37:48.639 When I say men are designed by God differently than women in terms of strength, I do not mean that there are not women who are stronger than men. 00:37:48.800 --> 00:37:49.519 That's simply not true. 00:37:49.679 --> 00:37:51.599 There's a lady by the name of Becca Swanson. 00:37:51.679 --> 00:38:00.800 She's the, last time I checked, the strongest bench, the lady with the strongest bench press in the world. 00:38:00.880 --> 00:38:03.039 Uh, she can lift 600 pounds. 00:38:03.119 --> 00:38:07.039 Uh, that is nearly, well, about three and a half of me. 00:38:07.199 --> 00:38:07.519 All right. 00:38:07.679 --> 00:38:09.599 Not that you don't want to know my weight this morning. 00:38:09.840 --> 00:38:10.880 That's a lot. 00:38:11.039 --> 00:38:12.079 Um, a whole lot. 00:38:12.239 --> 00:38:16.960 Yeah, she can bench a lot more than me, and probably more than anybody else in this room, all right? 00:38:17.119 --> 00:38:21.519 I don't care how strong you are in college right now, there's not a shot you can beat Becca Swanson. 00:38:21.599 --> 00:38:22.159 All right. 00:38:22.880 --> 00:38:25.679 I have no desire to bench that much, bench that much. 00:38:26.880 --> 00:38:28.239 Because it's pretty impractical. 00:38:28.320 --> 00:38:34.719 But here's the deal: a young man by the name of Peter Edget in Texas has benched over 600 pounds at 22 years old. 00:38:34.880 --> 00:38:37.360 Two men over 50 years old have bench pressed the same weight. 00:38:37.440 --> 00:38:47.440 The bench press world record for a man is 1,105 pounds by a name, a man named Will Barati, nearly twice the weight of the world's strongest woman. 00:38:47.679 --> 00:38:49.280 Let me give an example of running. 00:38:49.440 --> 00:39:04.400 In my case, I used to be a runner in high school, a state track runner, and with my 400-meter dash time and my 800-meter dash time back in high school, which was a long time ago, um, my junior year in high school, I would have tied for silver with Allison Phoenix in the 2016 Olympics. 00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:06.800 My 400 time. 00:39:06.880 --> 00:39:10.400 My 800 time would have placed me in third in the 2016 Olympics. 00:39:10.480 --> 00:39:13.039 And hear me, I didn't receive one D1 offer. 00:39:15.760 --> 00:39:33.519 My friend who did for the 400 meters and received a uh my friend who received a D1 offer from the University of Arkansas for the 400 meters would have won gold by more than three seconds in a sprint, but still is not fast enough to compete at a men's professional level. 00:39:33.760 --> 00:39:40.480 I say that not with pride in my heart or simply to prove a point, but to show you that Peter is not being toxic or hateful. 00:39:40.639 --> 00:39:45.679 He's not saying the things he says because he's constrained to an archaic male-dominated society. 00:39:45.840 --> 00:39:54.159 Therefore, I don't want you to throw out what God says here because of what Peter assumes we should already understand, even if it's countercultural. 00:39:55.199 --> 00:40:01.440 Secondly, I do not mean an untrained male would excel in a sport in comparison with a trained female. 00:40:01.679 --> 00:40:05.760 I am sure some of you ladies could beat me in any number of sports that you trained in. 00:40:06.000 --> 00:40:06.800 Absolutely. 00:40:07.039 --> 00:40:15.039 And thirdly, none of this makes men in any way better than women or more loved by God. 00:40:15.440 --> 00:40:16.719 Here's the deal. 00:40:16.960 --> 00:40:21.519 Peter's intention is not to provide you with statistics to prove the strength of men like I just did. 00:40:21.760 --> 00:40:22.639 He assumes it. 00:40:22.800 --> 00:40:32.320 I only tell you because it's in vogue in our culture to assert what Peter normally assumes, that being, men are designed to be more physically stronger. 00:40:33.039 --> 00:40:40.079 Peter's intention, and even bringing it up, because he's talking to men, is that men better be very careful. 00:40:40.159 --> 00:40:42.400 They don't use that strength against women. 00:40:45.440 --> 00:40:46.800 Did you think it was about that? 00:40:48.320 --> 00:40:49.360 That's the point. 00:40:51.679 --> 00:40:58.800 Peter's warning, actually, in this section about women being a weaker vessel, is actually to give a very strong warning against men. 00:41:02.000 --> 00:41:09.679 So before anyone ought to get angry with what they do not know, they ought to see what God's saying here. 00:41:10.239 --> 00:41:19.519 This passage has been misaccused of wrongfully putting women in their place when in all actuality it is rightfully putting men in theirs. 00:41:20.800 --> 00:41:38.000 Since I take weaker vessel to be referring to the physical strength of a wife in contrast with the physical strength of a husband within a covenant marriage, I believe in this passage, God is warning husbands against asserting authority through physical dominance, aka abuse. 00:41:40.159 --> 00:41:50.639 He is saying, just because you have physical strength, you are never, never, to use it against your wife. 00:41:51.199 --> 00:41:56.079 You are given it for her protection, not for her punishment. 00:41:57.599 --> 00:41:59.920 That is countercultural to Rome. 00:42:01.119 --> 00:42:06.239 Because women in Rome were often sinfully subjected as objects to accomplish tasks. 00:42:07.360 --> 00:42:16.400 In our day, a little bit different, women are often sinfully perceived as objects in order to satisfy the desire of men. 00:42:16.800 --> 00:42:30.320 But both of those objectifications and any objectification of a woman that places them in a position of intrinsic inferiority to their counterpart male counterpart is harmful, degrading, yes, even sinful. 00:42:31.199 --> 00:42:42.639 So, women, if I may, especially if you're unmarried, if I can speak to you for a moment, if you were to get married one day, hear me again. 00:42:42.960 --> 00:42:45.199 Be very careful who you marry. 00:42:46.880 --> 00:42:49.360 And be very selective in who you date. 00:42:50.639 --> 00:43:03.599 Make sure the guy you marry takes this command from God very seriously and loves you sincerely, not as an object to take advantage of, but as a person equal in the eyes of God to care for. 00:43:05.519 --> 00:43:08.719 And men, hear me loud and clear. 00:43:08.960 --> 00:43:12.239 Your future wife is not an object nor your slave. 00:43:12.480 --> 00:43:18.559 She is, quote, a co-heir with you of the grace of life, verse 7, and every day you are to treat her as such. 00:43:18.880 --> 00:43:30.320 So, future husbands in the room, you are to show honor to your wife as the weaker vessel, so that, there it is again, your prayers may not be hindered. 00:43:31.440 --> 00:43:35.519 So here lies a warning from God directly to men, and we'll close here. 00:43:35.679 --> 00:43:37.119 Do not don't do now. 00:43:39.599 --> 00:43:46.480 Here's a warning directly from God toward guys who coerce, manipulate, objectify, or abuse women to whatever end. 00:43:46.800 --> 00:43:48.880 God will not listen to you. 00:43:52.320 --> 00:43:55.760 God cares not for the man who does not care for his wife. 00:43:56.719 --> 00:43:58.559 He will plug his ears. 00:44:04.079 --> 00:44:06.320 You won't hear her cry, he won't hear yours. 00:44:09.039 --> 00:44:10.480