SPEAKER_00: Hey, well, if it's your first Sunday, we're in an interesting text, aren't we?
SPEAKER_00: All right.
SPEAKER_00: Hey, if you have a Bible, go ahead and open it up.
SPEAKER_00: First Peter chapter 3, verses 1 through 7, as we slowly walk through what Peter and who's speaking through him, what the Lord would have us hear and how he would have us live.
SPEAKER_00: We have been in 1 Peter for, I believe, six weeks now.
SPEAKER_00: And if I can just give you a quick brief on the book, if this is your first Sunday, the book of 1 Peter was written to elect exiles.
SPEAKER_00: We are elect by virtue of our faith in Christ.
SPEAKER_00: If you're a believer, you are one of God's people.
SPEAKER_00: If you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, you are God's people.
SPEAKER_00: But we are still exiles on the earth.
SPEAKER_00: We are awaiting eternity.
SPEAKER_00: And so we are hopeful as God's people, but still feel sometimes homeless.
SPEAKER_00: We are exiles awaiting eternity.
SPEAKER_00: This is not our future home.
SPEAKER_00: We are God's people by virtue of his first coming, but we still await the promise where he will return, bring the new heavens and new earth, and all will be made new, and he will dwell with us forever.
SPEAKER_00: We await that day eagerly.
SPEAKER_00: But since he is not returned yet, we have duty in the meantime to live in a certain way as exiles for the world to see our King.
SPEAKER_00: So, the book, while it is bookended by hope, the hope we have because of Jesus' first coming, and the hope we have at Jesus' second coming, the middle portion of the book is a call to live holy lives in the midst of a hostile world.
SPEAKER_00: A call to live holy lives in the midst of a hostile world, again, within our mind the hope that we have.
SPEAKER_00: And that is, because of Jesus Christ's resurrection, we have a living hope that is worth our sacrifice, that is greater than our suffering, and that will not surrender at death.
SPEAKER_00: It will survive it.
SPEAKER_00: The portion of 1 Peter, the call to holiness that we're in, regards marriage this morning.
SPEAKER_00: So for those of you who are married, this pertains directly to you.
SPEAKER_00: And for those of you who are not yet married, there are plenty of biblical nuggets that I hope you kind of take in and uh and follow.
SPEAKER_00: 1 Peter chapter 30, verses 1 through 7.
SPEAKER_00: We just read it, but I just want to point out a few things before we get into an outline.
SPEAKER_00: You'll notice that the first six verses are a message for wives, with the first command, be subject to your husbands.
SPEAKER_00: You'll notice verse 7 now is a shift to the focus of husbands, and the command to husbands is to live with their wives in an understanding way, showing honor.
SPEAKER_00: So, how are we going to walk through this text this morning?
SPEAKER_00: You have a very detailed outline.
SPEAKER_00: I know the numbers on some of them start with seven.
SPEAKER_00: That's a misprint on my behalf.
SPEAKER_00: Sorry about that.
SPEAKER_00: So it should start at one if it starts at seven on your paper.
SPEAKER_00: But there are six points this morning.
SPEAKER_00: And let me just say this.
SPEAKER_00: While being married will not differentiate Christians in America, just as it did not differentiate Christians in Rome in their day, simply being married by the state, the way that we operate relationally within our marriages should distinguish us as believers in the midst of our communities and in our world.
SPEAKER_00: How we operate relationally in obedience to Jesus surely will distinguish us as Christians.
SPEAKER_00: Christian marriages in Rome were different, and they looked foreign to the rest of the world, as foreign as a Christian's relationship to Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: So the question is, okay, so what is different about Christians and marriage and their marriages?
SPEAKER_00: What's different about the way that they relate to one another before a watching world?
SPEAKER_00: What does it look like to live as a holy witness in a hostile world in our marriages?
SPEAKER_00: Well, before I get into that, let me give you a word along with its definition.
SPEAKER_00: The word is provocative.
SPEAKER_00: The definition of the word provocative is to cause annoyance, anger, or another strong reaction, sometimes deliberately.
SPEAKER_00: I define that word as we begin because the statements I will make this morning concerning Christian marriage will be counter-cultural.
SPEAKER_00: They may be the cause of annoyance, anger, or another strong reaction in our culture and therefore be provocative to its people.
SPEAKER_00: And yet, my concern, however, is that while I'll be attributing these statements as quote-unquote provocative, according to the emotion they will most assuredly elicit in our culture, they may unfortunately come across as provocative to many Christians as well, who have become so accustomed to a world's definition of marriage and how we operate within it, that is not holy, but rather somewhat hostile to God's holy word.
SPEAKER_00: So I pray this morning, like this is my prayer for us together, that God would give us the grace to taste and see that his word is not only true, but is good.
SPEAKER_00: It's actually good for human flourishing.
SPEAKER_00: It's good for relationships, it's good for our soul.
SPEAKER_00: All of his word, including his commands to wives and to husbands within the confines of a covenant marriage.
SPEAKER_00: So this morning, your outline as you see it on your paper is six countercultural statements regarding marriage as exiles.
SPEAKER_00: Before we get into it, would you join me in a word of prayer?
SPEAKER_00: And I ask as you pray, would you pray this along with me?
SPEAKER_00: God, would you give us the grace to taste and see your commands for our lives are good and properly understood.
SPEAKER_00: Properly understood.
SPEAKER_00: By the power of your spirit, help us understand, properly understood, and rightly obeyed.
SPEAKER_00: Give us the grace to see that they lead to life and blessing in our relationship with you and in our relationship with one another.
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
SPEAKER_00: Six counter-cultural statements as we walk through this passage dedicated to exilic marriages.
SPEAKER_00: Number one, the first counter-cultural statement, not necessarily Christians, but in our culture, is that men can teach women.
SPEAKER_00: Now, why do I say that?
SPEAKER_00: Because there's some things that we have to assume walking through this passage.
SPEAKER_00: For examining the context of the passage, we recognize that Peter, an apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ, a man, is writing to Christians, and specifically for six verses, writing to women on how they might serve their husbands in obedience to the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: I mean, how how arrogant for Peter to assume he could, much less should, instruct women in how they ought to operate in marriage in a relationship, right?
SPEAKER_00: Well, while I believe women are both able and biblically encouraged to aid other women in instruction in every aspect of the Christian life, that does not mean that biblically qualified men are not able to, and in some cases, commanded to as well.
SPEAKER_00: Take, for example, our time this morning.
SPEAKER_00: This morning I have the audacity of teaching women in this room, of which I am not, many of whom are or will one day be wives, how they ought to biblically operate within marriage in submission to their husbands.
SPEAKER_00: I mean, am I exhibiting the utmost peak of toxic masculinity?
SPEAKER_00: I don't think so.
SPEAKER_00: And maybe you say, well, of course you don't think so.
SPEAKER_00: You're the one talking.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you think that's the epitome of toxicity, which is a really good band name, by the way.
SPEAKER_00: Epitome of toxicity.
SPEAKER_00: But here's why I don't think so.
SPEAKER_00: If you believe the Bible to be the infallible, inerrant, sufficient word of God, you recognize that God has established teachers of his word, a group of called and qualified men to be pastors or elders from 1 Timothy chapter 3, who are responsible to teach and preach the whole counsel of God's word.
SPEAKER_00: 2 Timothy chapter 3, verse 4, 3 and 4, 1 Timothy 5, Acts chapter 20, verse 27, to teach the whole counsel of God's word to all who comprise a local church, Hebrews 13, verse 17, including men and women, husbands and wives, the elderly and children.
SPEAKER_00: And the word of God that these qualified men are to teach in the gathered church has instruction for both men and women, husbands and wives.
SPEAKER_00: And to avoid certain passages from the Word of God that God has given me to teach based upon my gender and the gender of the intended audience is not only sexist, but to hold back from another God's good and gracious design and desire so that we all might thrive and obey God as his people.
SPEAKER_00: So, yes, men can teach women in some contexts, and in specific cases, it's even a command of God.
SPEAKER_00: Now that we've gotten past that, second counter-cultural statement.
SPEAKER_00: Christian marriage is between a man and a woman.
SPEAKER_00: Now you'll notice in this passage about marriage that there is no mention of marriage between a man and a man or between a woman and a woman, in short, because there is no such thing.
SPEAKER_00: In fact, after he created Adam, he said, Not everything's good.
SPEAKER_00: He created a part of Adam to be a counterpart for Adam.
SPEAKER_00: And Adam, seeing the woman, says, This is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.
SPEAKER_00: He became a poet in a moment.
SPEAKER_00: And they came together, they were one flesh, and they lived together.
SPEAKER_00: God designed the man specifically for the woman and the woman, specifically for the man.
SPEAKER_00: And then he designed a relationship for them both to have called marriage, to be a covenant between them and God.
SPEAKER_00: And then he gave them opportunity for an intimate relationship between those two members of the opposite sex in and only in that covenant of marriage.
SPEAKER_00: The New Testament only further writes affirming that relationship that God designed and gives no opportunity for any other type of relationship.
SPEAKER_00: In fact, it condemns it twice.
SPEAKER_00: Romans chapter 1 and 1 Corinthians chapter 6.
SPEAKER_00: So any deviation, this is in your notes, from that design is a perversion of God's intention and the creation of what it means to be male and female.
SPEAKER_00: It's a perversion.
SPEAKER_00: It's a rejection of his design of the relationship of marriage, because he designed that thing.
SPEAKER_00: And it's a pursuit of disobedience that does not lead to fullness in this life or a future after death.
SPEAKER_00: I chose every word very carefully there, but I want to just point out 1 Corinthians chapter 6 for a moment, where it lists many sins, homosexuality being one of them, saying that do you not know that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God?
SPEAKER_00: And yet, hear me.
SPEAKER_00: Paul is writing to the church at Corinth.
SPEAKER_00: In Corinth, there were people who struggled with every single one of the sins he listed.
SPEAKER_00: And he says, That was some of you.
SPEAKER_00: But you've been washed.
SPEAKER_00: You've been sanctified.
SPEAKER_00: You've been justified in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_00: In other words, God still has a plan for people who are living in sin.
SPEAKER_00: It's a good plan.
SPEAKER_00: It's for their flourishing and their future after death.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, would you submit to Jesus Christ first and foremost?
SPEAKER_00: He goes on to say, as Christians, our bodies belong to God.
SPEAKER_00: They're not our own.
SPEAKER_00: And we are to honor him by obeying his commands, not as they are a burden, but as a blessing to our very lives.
SPEAKER_00: So, in countercultural statement number two, there is much more I could say.
SPEAKER_00: But I will not say more.
SPEAKER_00: And I only say what I have said, because Peter assumes as Christians we accept this.
SPEAKER_00: He assumes it writing it.
SPEAKER_00: Number three, the third countercultural statement from our text this morning.
SPEAKER_00: Husbands are called to lovingly lead in the home.
SPEAKER_00: And we know, as Christians, the word love, as it is ought to be translated here, as agape, a Greek word, which means sacrifice.
SPEAKER_00: They're supposed to sacrifice themselves for their brides.
SPEAKER_00: Men are called to lovingly lead in their home, sacrificing their ambition, yes, their very lives.
SPEAKER_00: Wives are to serve or to submit to their husbands with respect, offering respect to him in that position.
SPEAKER_00: Now, I hope your Bibles are open so you can see that I'm not making this up.
SPEAKER_00: Verse one.
SPEAKER_00: Wives are to be subject to or to submit to their own husbands.
SPEAKER_00: Let's be very clear.
SPEAKER_00: This is not all women are to submit to all men.
SPEAKER_00: This is wives are to submit to their own husbands.
SPEAKER_00: That is, a man is to lead and a wife is to follow within the home.
SPEAKER_00: That does not mean, uh, so let me just clear up some misconceptions here.
SPEAKER_00: That does not mean there are not two votes when decisions are made.
SPEAKER_00: When my wife and I are about to make a big decision, I listen to her counsel very carefully.
SPEAKER_00: And if I do not, I am, I would argue, sinning.
SPEAKER_00: And yet I will bear the responsibility of making the decision at the end of the day.
SPEAKER_00: I will stand before God to give an account for decisions that we make.
SPEAKER_00: This is what it means to sacrifice even what I want to listen to my wife, to lead her well in fear and admonition of the Lord, as she follows the Lord, and I watch her and see her godliness, and hopefully emulate her example as well.
SPEAKER_00: Paul, not Peter, uh, he echoes this twice in the scriptures.
SPEAKER_00: I'll just give you one example, Colossians chapter 3, where it says similarly, wives submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
SPEAKER_00: Children obey your parents in everything.
SPEAKER_00: This is pleasing to the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Now, of course, you want to ask the question, questions like you might ask tonight from 5 to 7 p.m.
SPEAKER_00: when you're going to come to our Ask Evan Sunday.
SPEAKER_00: Is this merely a cultural phenomenon that Peter is is living within?
SPEAKER_00: So is he is he doing this because this is a cultural idea, ideal?
SPEAKER_00: I don't think so.
SPEAKER_00: Um and here's why.
SPEAKER_00: Because Paul and Peter had no problem going against cultural ideals for many different things.
SPEAKER_00: Jesus didn't either.
SPEAKER_00: For example, uh in the Roman view of the day, women were seen to be in that cultural culture culturally inferior in value to their male counterpart.
SPEAKER_00: Yet Peter and Paul both trumpeted the equality of women in value.
SPEAKER_00: Paul in Galatians 3.28 saying that they're both one that is equal in Christ Jesus, and Peter in verse 7 saying in our text that they are both wives and husbands, men and women, co-heirs of God's grace together.
SPEAKER_00: So since they then embrace the equality of men and women in value, dignity, and worth, they must believe, as should we, that a difference in a person's role does not designate a difference in someone's value.
SPEAKER_00: Let me repeat that.
SPEAKER_00: This is something our culture rejects.
SPEAKER_00: Our culture says for someone to be equal in who they are, they must be exact in what they do.
SPEAKER_00: That's not true.
SPEAKER_00: Simply not true.
SPEAKER_00: For example, my son and my daughter have a seven-year-old boy and I have a five-year-old girl.
SPEAKER_00: Uh, my son and my daughter are equally loved.
SPEAKER_00: And some days they they kind of they work hard, but no, I'm kidding.
SPEAKER_00: My son and my daughter are equally loved.
SPEAKER_00: Both stand before Jess and I as our children.
SPEAKER_00: However, the way that we teach our son to care for himself and others will not be at every time exactly the same as the way we teach our daughter to care for herself and for others, because they have been made differently.
SPEAKER_00: Physically.
SPEAKER_00: They're made differently, psychologically differently.
SPEAKER_00: However, that in no way means that we love them unequally.
SPEAKER_00: Rather, we care for what is best for them individually, and we don't assume that what is best for my son in any given moment is the best for my daughter in any given moment, because they've been created differently, physically and psychologically.
SPEAKER_00: Let's not only look at this from a practical level, but a theological level.
SPEAKER_00: Paul writes, inspired by God's Spirit in Ephesians chapter five, regarding marriage, rooting the role of a wife's submission to her husband, to Christ's submission to his father.
SPEAKER_00: Ephesians chapter 5, beginning verse 22.
SPEAKER_00: Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
SPEAKER_00: Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to everything, in everything to their husbands.
SPEAKER_00: Therefore, submission to one's husband is acting in submission to one's Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Submission does not imply inferiority.
SPEAKER_00: In fact, biblically, it cannot imply inferiority.
SPEAKER_00: For Christ, who is not inferior to his father, submits willingly to his father as a picture of love on display for marriages to see and to emulate.
SPEAKER_00: This means, biblically speaking, men are to be the sacrificial leaders of a Christian home.
SPEAKER_00: Now, if you have a broken family and did not grow up with a father, or grew up with an unbelieving father, or maybe a father who left you, I have many friends who that is the case.
SPEAKER_00: Um that does not mean that in any way you are in any way less loved by God.
SPEAKER_00: You have, however, most likely felt its effects as great as your mom is.
SPEAKER_00: God gives us a framework to follow for future marriages and for marriages now, even if they have not been what you've experienced or not what you are experiencing.
SPEAKER_00: Now, I just want to give you a few statistics on this.
SPEAKER_00: Statistics are clear on the life of God's good design in this way.
SPEAKER_00: Where men lead, homes and neighborhoods flourish.
SPEAKER_00: Where men are absent, homes and neighborhoods are disadvantaged.
SPEAKER_00: Children raised without a father statistically are twice as likely to commit suicide, statistically, show higher levels of aggressive behavior than children born to married mothers.
SPEAKER_00: Children raised without a father make up 71% of high school dropouts, are more likely to be truant from school, more likely to be excluded from school, more likely to leave school at age 16, and less likely to attain academic and professional qualifications in adulthood.
SPEAKER_00: They're almost four times more likely to be poor.
SPEAKER_00: They're 279% more likely to deal drugs, and are more likely to report being sexually active and have a higher rate of teen pregnancy.
SPEAKER_00: I spout off statistics not to say I told you show, but just to simply say God's ethic for his design in a marriage relationship is actually really good for the flourishing of a home and for a society.
SPEAKER_00: Where there are no fathers leading in the home, families hurt, kids are disadvantaged, and communities are more dangerous every time.
SPEAKER_00: So, what's the design that God has in the context of a loving marriage relationships?
SPEAKER_00: It is simply this Ephesians chapter 5, a husband is to lay down his life as Christ has laid down his life for his bride, as Christ has laid down his life for his bride, the church.
SPEAKER_00: So where men may want certain things, they are to be willing to leave them off the table to love faithfully their wives.
SPEAKER_00: Lay down their ambition, lay down their desire, lay down their simple wants for the sake of their wife to flourish.
SPEAKER_00: And women responding to such sacrificial love are to respect their husband, honoring him as the person that is willingly giving up his life.
SPEAKER_00: When either one of the two in that marriage give up their role of doing that, marriage does not look as beautiful as Jesus intends it to look for a watching world.
SPEAKER_00: Men are supposed to give up their lives for their wives.
SPEAKER_00: Women are supposed to give their lives to their husbands.
SPEAKER_00: This is the beautiful relationship structure designed by God that leads to flourishing in the home and out of the home in the world.
SPEAKER_00: Number four.
SPEAKER_00: Number four, fourth countercultural statement.
SPEAKER_00: Well, this has been his pattern so far in this section of 1 Peter.
SPEAKER_00: In fact, you can see it.
SPEAKER_00: If you have your Bible open, you'll notice in chapter 2, beginning in verse 13, and then again in verse 18, I think.
SPEAKER_00: 18, you'll notice that Peter continually looks at the one who is to submit as to be a picture of what humility looks like to a world.
SPEAKER_00: So Peter continues this framework of looking at the culturally inferior person, culturally inferior person, with the holy witness of Christ as the goal.
SPEAKER_00: And his instruction throughout this section, verse 13, verse 18, verse 1, and chapter 3 is that humility is the normative posture of a holy witness in a hostile world.
SPEAKER_00: Humility is to be pursued.
SPEAKER_00: You're culturally inferior.
SPEAKER_00: Don't try to rebelliously go against that, rather serve the one that the culture sees higher than you as an example of Christ serving you.
SPEAKER_00: Humility.
SPEAKER_00: Wives, be subject to your own husbands.
SPEAKER_00: You see it?
SPEAKER_00: So that.
SPEAKER_00: Another way of saying Christians.
SPEAKER_00: So that even if some do not obey the word, they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
SPEAKER_00: Peter's hope in a marriage is that a wife's godly behavior in submission to her husband might be the means by which that husband hears, sees Christ, and comes to follow him, comes to know the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: So while salvation is not guaranteed, while salvation is uh uh not guaranteed, it is the goal.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, believing spouse, might your conduct be a witness of your Christ and confirm what you believe, and commend your Christ.
SPEAKER_00: Now, in this context, there may be some instances where a wife, because of her submission to Jesus, which comes first, may not be able to submit to her husband.
SPEAKER_00: Husband says, You must obey my God.
SPEAKER_00: God being a different God.
SPEAKER_00: Well, a Christian wife cannot do that.
SPEAKER_00: Because Jesus comes first.
SPEAKER_00: We have examples in Greco-Roman history where um because of the wife's cultural inferiority in the time that this was written, they were expected and even commanded to adopt the gods of their husbands.
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, a Christian wife could not do that, and it would cause strife.
SPEAKER_00: So Peter has this in mind.
SPEAKER_00: He calls you to obey his Lord, you cannot do that, but but in everything, you can serve him well.
SPEAKER_00: Show him Christ.
SPEAKER_00: So you can imagine the differences of opinion, uh the differences of goals and aim and rearing children and raising them up to know and love and serve the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: If your husband does not believe in that, Lord, you can imagine how difficult that became.
SPEAKER_00: And you can't obey Ebud, you have to obey Christ.
SPEAKER_00: And he's calling you to do that, you can't do that, but you must submit to him and serve him.
SPEAKER_00: And so it causes strife in the marriage, especially how to raise children.
SPEAKER_00: That's why in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul addresses that.
SPEAKER_00: If he leaves you, if he leaves you, your husband, unbelieving husband, you can let him leave.
SPEAKER_00: Because you wouldn't know in all your trying if you would ever lead him to the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Paul and Peter knew how difficult it would be for husbands and wives who serve the same God to live together, to love one another.
SPEAKER_00: Because their definition of love is different.
SPEAKER_00: So if you are not married and you are planning on getting married, and you're a woman in this room, please hear my pastoral counselor, whether I'm your pastor or this is your first Sunday, please pursue a man who loves Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: Please.
SPEAKER_00: Who submits to him, who knows that love looks like sacrificing himself for you.
SPEAKER_00: Life otherwise will be very hard.
SPEAKER_00: Especially when it comes to raising children.
SPEAKER_00: The command?
SPEAKER_00: If you were to marry an unbelieving husband, Peter says submission is the role.
SPEAKER_00: And if possible, I think this is in your notes, salvation's the goal.
SPEAKER_00: Submission is the role, and if possible, salvation's the goal.
SPEAKER_00: Isn't it interesting?
SPEAKER_00: Peter's point here if you can't influence with your words, you can influence by how you serve.
SPEAKER_00: Your unbelieving husband may not hear you as you speak, but he will certainly see you as you serve.
SPEAKER_00: And your respect for him and pure conduct may just win him to Christ because your actions, yes, they validate your faith in God.
SPEAKER_00: Fifth countercultural statement.
SPEAKER_00: A wife's focus should be on her internal beauty.
SPEAKER_00: Her internal beauty.
SPEAKER_00: Not only does God tell us that the faith of wives may be observed by their obedience in the home, but now he tells that their faith may be authenticated in their outlook upon life.
SPEAKER_00: Do not let your adorning be external, verse 3, the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, the clothing you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.
SPEAKER_00: What's precious in God's sight?
SPEAKER_00: Peter says, Focus on inner beauty more than outer beauty.
SPEAKER_00: Hear me.
SPEAKER_00: Attractiveness is a thing.
SPEAKER_00: But where should you spend your time and focus, wife and yes, even husband, I think.
SPEAKER_00: Your heart.
SPEAKER_00: God more deeply desires the purity of what's in your heart than what will be one day on your hand.
SPEAKER_00: His primary concern is not how you look or what you have, but who you are.
SPEAKER_00: That's God's primary concern.
SPEAKER_00: So focus on, set your attention toward, desire with your entire being the inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, how that goes against what our culture desires for womanhood, doesn't it?
SPEAKER_00: Oh, how much care we put into how we look so we can get the looks we crave.
SPEAKER_00: I mean, the message here for Christians, women in our culture today is stop dressing to impress people that care more about what you can provide than who you are as a person.
SPEAKER_00: He says, focus on inner beauty and the relationships you have so that you put on Christ as a display and not yourself.
SPEAKER_00: He says this beauty is imperishable.
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't go with age.
SPEAKER_00: Lastly, he says, this is how the holy women used to adorn themselves.
SPEAKER_00: So sometimes a preacher will utilize uh stories outside the Bible, uh, and sometimes they'll use stories inside of the Bible, like in the Old Testament, to give as an example of what this looks like.
SPEAKER_00: All right.
SPEAKER_00: Uh that is what Peter is doing in the Old Testament.
SPEAKER_00: Here he's giving an example of what it looks like to not only focus on internal beauty, but to serve one's husband.
SPEAKER_00: This is how the holy women used to adorn themselves as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Now, I have four uh well, yeah, I have four weddings I'm doing next year, uh, right now planned.
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I and I I'm so looking forward to uh premarital counseling, which is required.
SPEAKER_00: And preminal counseling week number three, where we talk about the lordship of the husband.
SPEAKER_00: I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_00: That's not true.
SPEAKER_00: All right.
SPEAKER_00: Uh I say that as a joke.
SPEAKER_00: But this is a unique example given.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you okay, am I supposed to call my husband Lord?
SPEAKER_00: Uh I cannot tell you anytime my wife has called me Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe we can talk about that.
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_00: All right.
SPEAKER_00: Uh so what is this saying?
SPEAKER_00: What is going on here?
SPEAKER_00: Well, the odd thing about Peter bringing this up is that it's like a simple offhand comment that Sarah makes to Abraham one time in Genesis.
SPEAKER_00: Genesis 18, 12.
SPEAKER_00: My Lord.
SPEAKER_00: And what Peter finds remarkable in that story, Genesis 18, verse 12, is that even in casual situations, Sarah respected Abraham's leadership.
SPEAKER_00: And if you follow Abraham's story, he was not always very great.
SPEAKER_00: He gave her up to the Egyptian princess.
SPEAKER_00: But she referred to him with respect and dignity, even when he was not perfect by any account.
SPEAKER_00: She respected him as her husband.
SPEAKER_00: And Peter says, Man, look at that.
SPEAKER_00: That's remarkable.
SPEAKER_00: He just gives an example.
SPEAKER_00: Man, Abraham was a flawed man.
SPEAKER_00: But look at Sarah.
SPEAKER_00: And she respects him.
SPEAKER_00: Peter is reflecting upon Sarah's character in that day and encouraging the sort of attitude to be emulated in our day.
SPEAKER_00: Sixth countercultural statement, and probably the one that has taken the most out of context.
SPEAKER_00: If you're hanging in with me, I'm glad.
SPEAKER_00: Wives are a weaker vessel.
SPEAKER_00: I've done QA's uh in settings of colleges uh a number of times, and this is often a passage that's brought up.
SPEAKER_00: Why is the Bible um demeaning, belittling to women?
SPEAKER_00: Wives are a weaker vessel.
SPEAKER_00: That's the phrase.
SPEAKER_00: Husbands likewise live with your wives in an honoring way, recognizing they are a weaker vessel.
SPEAKER_00: So I think it's often true that people get mad about things before they realize what they're arguing against.
SPEAKER_00: Wouldn't you agree?
SPEAKER_00: That happens a lot, right?
SPEAKER_00: Look at YouTube comment sections all the time, right?
SPEAKER_00: The New Testament authors, if we're just to take the New Testament, lay it out, have a much higher view of women than the culture did of that day.
SPEAKER_00: No doubt.
SPEAKER_00: Women in Rome were seen as subservient, inferior, and less valuable when compared to men in ancient Rome.
SPEAKER_00: But in contrast with the ancient Roman culture, the New Testament consistently stresses the value of women before God, displays their ministry to others, shows their giftings and service, and instructs us of their equal position before God.
SPEAKER_00: So when I see the phrase weaker vessel, I do not take it to be referring to weakness in spirit.
SPEAKER_00: I do not take it to be referring to weakness in mental capacity or in emotion.
SPEAKER_00: In fact, women, in my personal experience, are often more courageous to engage emotionally than men are.
SPEAKER_00: Now, before you immediately take umbrage with this, and that this is your first time redeemer, sitting here like, how dare he, right?
SPEAKER_00: So let me qualify and give a few examples.
SPEAKER_00: When I say men are designed by God differently than women in terms of strength, I do not mean that there are not women who are stronger than men.
SPEAKER_00: That's simply not true.
SPEAKER_00: There's a lady by the name of Becca Swanson.
SPEAKER_00: She's the, last time I checked, the strongest bench, the lady with the strongest bench press in the world.
SPEAKER_00: Uh, she can lift 600 pounds.
SPEAKER_00: Uh, that is nearly, well, about three and a half of me.
SPEAKER_00: All right.
SPEAKER_00: Not that you don't want to know my weight this morning.
SPEAKER_00: That's a lot.
SPEAKER_00: Um, a whole lot.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she can bench a lot more than me, and probably more than anybody else in this room, all right?
SPEAKER_00: I don't care how strong you are in college right now, there's not a shot you can beat Becca Swanson.
SPEAKER_00: All right.
SPEAKER_00: I have no desire to bench that much, bench that much.
SPEAKER_00: Because it's pretty impractical.
SPEAKER_00: But here's the deal: a young man by the name of Peter Edget in Texas has benched over 600 pounds at 22 years old.
SPEAKER_00: Two men over 50 years old have bench pressed the same weight.
SPEAKER_00: The bench press world record for a man is 1,105 pounds by a name, a man named Will Barati, nearly twice the weight of the world's strongest woman.
SPEAKER_00: Let me give an example of running.
SPEAKER_00: In my case, I used to be a runner in high school, a state track runner, and with my 400-meter dash time and my 800-meter dash time back in high school, which was a long time ago, um, my junior year in high school, I would have tied for silver with Allison Phoenix in the 2016 Olympics.
SPEAKER_00: My 400 time.
SPEAKER_00: My 800 time would have placed me in third in the 2016 Olympics.
SPEAKER_00: And hear me, I didn't receive one D1 offer.
SPEAKER_00: My friend who did for the 400 meters and received a uh my friend who received a D1 offer from the University of Arkansas for the 400 meters would have won gold by more than three seconds in a sprint, but still is not fast enough to compete at a men's professional level.
SPEAKER_00: I say that not with pride in my heart or simply to prove a point, but to show you that Peter is not being toxic or hateful.
SPEAKER_00: He's not saying the things he says because he's constrained to an archaic male-dominated society.
SPEAKER_00: Therefore, I don't want you to throw out what God says here because of what Peter assumes we should already understand, even if it's countercultural.
SPEAKER_00: Secondly, I do not mean an untrained male would excel in a sport in comparison with a trained female.
SPEAKER_00: I am sure some of you ladies could beat me in any number of sports that you trained in.
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00: And thirdly, none of this makes men in any way better than women or more loved by God.
SPEAKER_00: Here's the deal.
SPEAKER_00: Peter's intention is not to provide you with statistics to prove the strength of men like I just did.
SPEAKER_00: He assumes it.
SPEAKER_00: I only tell you because it's in vogue in our culture to assert what Peter normally assumes, that being, men are designed to be more physically stronger.
SPEAKER_00: Peter's intention, and even bringing it up, because he's talking to men, is that men better be very careful.
SPEAKER_00: They don't use that strength against women.
SPEAKER_00: Did you think it was about that?
SPEAKER_00: That's the point.
SPEAKER_00: Peter's warning, actually, in this section about women being a weaker vessel, is actually to give a very strong warning against men.
SPEAKER_00: So before anyone ought to get angry with what they do not know, they ought to see what God's saying here.
SPEAKER_00: This passage has been misaccused of wrongfully putting women in their place when in all actuality it is rightfully putting men in theirs.
SPEAKER_00: Since I take weaker vessel to be referring to the physical strength of a wife in contrast with the physical strength of a husband within a covenant marriage, I believe in this passage, God is warning husbands against asserting authority through physical dominance, aka abuse.
SPEAKER_00: He is saying, just because you have physical strength, you are never, never, to use it against your wife.
SPEAKER_00: You are given it for her protection, not for her punishment.
SPEAKER_00: That is countercultural to Rome.
SPEAKER_00: Because women in Rome were often sinfully subjected as objects to accomplish tasks.
SPEAKER_00: In our day, a little bit different, women are often sinfully perceived as objects in order to satisfy the desire of men.
SPEAKER_00: But both of those objectifications and any objectification of a woman that places them in a position of intrinsic inferiority to their counterpart male counterpart is harmful, degrading, yes, even sinful.
SPEAKER_00: So, women, if I may, especially if you're unmarried, if I can speak to you for a moment, if you were to get married one day, hear me again.
SPEAKER_00: Be very careful who you marry.
SPEAKER_00: And be very selective in who you date.
SPEAKER_00: Make sure the guy you marry takes this command from God very seriously and loves you sincerely, not as an object to take advantage of, but as a person equal in the eyes of God to care for.
SPEAKER_00: And men, hear me loud and clear.
SPEAKER_00: Your future wife is not an object nor your slave.
SPEAKER_00: She is, quote, a co-heir with you of the grace of life, verse 7, and every day you are to treat her as such.
SPEAKER_00: So, future husbands in the room, you are to show honor to your wife as the weaker vessel, so that, there it is again, your prayers may not be hindered.
SPEAKER_00: So here lies a warning from God directly to men, and we'll close here.
SPEAKER_00: Do not don't do now.
SPEAKER_00: Here's a warning directly from God toward guys who coerce, manipulate, objectify, or abuse women to whatever end.
SPEAKER_00: God will not listen to you.
SPEAKER_00: God cares not for the man who does not care for his wife.
SPEAKER_00: He will plug his ears.
SPEAKER_00: You won't hear her cry, he won't hear yours.
SPEAKER_00: What does this teach us?
SPEAKER_00: Oh, a passage that could have been so misunderstood.
SPEAKER_00: The personal care of God.
SPEAKER_00: God cares for you.
SPEAKER_00: Be careful, you marry.
SPEAKER_00: Because he cares for you.
SPEAKER_00: It reminds us of his universal concern in God's kingdom of com uh economy.
SPEAKER_00: Domineering is disobedience.
SPEAKER_00: So you tuned in for quite a long time this morning.
SPEAKER_00: Christian marriage is to look different in a world that does not know Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: It's to look odd to a culture that does not know Christ.
SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
SPEAKER_00: That's okay.
SPEAKER_00: For we are exiles.
SPEAKER_00: This isn't our home.
SPEAKER_00: We're en route to eternity.
SPEAKER_00: We're foreigners awaiting that future home.
SPEAKER_00: May our lives, yes, our marriages, be sweet.
SPEAKER_00: And may they give witness to Jesus, who laid down his life for his bride as his bride serves him well.
SPEAKER_00: Let's pray.
SPEAKER_00: Our Father who cares for us, who knows us, who designed us, help us to see your commands not as burdens, but as blessings.
SPEAKER_00: Help us to know the truth from your word accurately and embrace it as good for our very lives.
SPEAKER_00: Lord, I pray for every person in this room this morning.
SPEAKER_00: There was a lot to talk through.
SPEAKER_00: I pray, Lord, that by the power of your spirit you did speak to our hearts.
SPEAKER_00: I pray, Lord, for any words I took in a wrong direction, Lord, that by the power of your spirit you make clear what is confusing.
SPEAKER_00: I pray, Lord, for those unmarried in the room.
SPEAKER_00: Lord, that they may seek spouses that love you above anything else.
SPEAKER_00: I pray for those married in the room.
SPEAKER_00: Lord, that there might be repentance if necessary and joy all the time.
SPEAKER_00: Lord, that our marriages might give witness to our King.
SPEAKER_00: For we are exiles.
SPEAKER_00: Help us as we await eternity.
SPEAKER_00: In your name we pray.
SPEAKER_00: Everybody.