Estate Planning Basics with Attorney Shauna Schmeisser, J.D.

In this episode, Nicole sits down with estate planning attorney Shawna Schmeisser to break down the basics of estate planning in a simple, real-world way. They talk about what an estate plan is, why avoiding probate matters, how powers of attorney work, when a trust may make sense, and why beneficiary designations can make a huge difference for families. They also discuss end-of-life wishes, how often plans should be reviewed, and why putting the right documents in place now can save your family time, money, confusion, and grief later.

This conversation is especially important for adults with aging parents, homeowners, and anyone who wants to be proactive instead of leaving their loved ones scrambling in a crisis.

In this episode:
 • What probate is and why families try to avoid it
 • The difference between wills, trusts, and beneficiary designations
 • How medical and financial powers of attorney work
 • Why estate planning is about more than money
 • When to review and update your plan
 • How planning ahead creates peace of mind for everyone involved

Guest: Shawna Schmeisser, Schmeisser Law PLLC

shauna@schmeisser.law
 Website: schmeisser.law

If this episode helped you, please share it with a friend or family member who needs to hear it.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to My Parents Lives Meet, the podcast about navigating aging, loss, and all the midlife changes no one warned us about. I'm Nicole Porter, here with real stories and expert advice to help you face what's now and what's next.

SPEAKER_02 0:14

I have a special guest today. Her name is Shauna Schmeiser. Yes? Pronounced it right? Yes. Shauna is an estate planning attorney. And I just wanted to give you a little insight into what an estate plan is, things that you need to know, just the basics. I mean, obviously, we can't cover every little thing because every one situation is super different. But I just want to ask a few questions with her and kind of go over what an estate plan is, why it's important to have one, and how it's going to save you and your family so much grief if and when something happens. So thanks for talking with me today, Shana.

SPEAKER_00 0:55

Thank you so much for having me think that what you do is so important. And educating your viewers about estate plans because it can really just relieve so much burden and to relief relieve so much off your children if you have that estate plan in place. Traditionally, an estate plan is used to avoid probate. Any of your beneficiaries who you want to receive, any part of your estate, do not have to go through probate. That's a big reason why people choose to do estate plans.

SPEAKER_02 1:31

Why don't people want to go to probate? Sorry. Well, I mean, obviously, this is a topic we'll keep talking about over and over, but I don't think people really understand like, why don't you want probate?

SPEAKER_00 1:41

Well, probate is what happens when somebody dies into state. That means they die without a will. And if somebody dies without a will or without having some form of trust or beneficiary deeds or listing beneficiaries on their accounts, it will go through probate, which is the court system. That takes a lot of time and a lot of money. Like how much time? Like years or like two years.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

Two years? Okay. At least$20,000. So it's going to tie up money, time, funds, time, like all of the things.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

So another another important reason why people want to avoid probate is because just you're dealing with grief. You are dealing with spending money. You're dealing with the court system. And you know, you're just dealing with a lot. And you don't want it, it's a lot to for the children or the trustee or the executor of the state to go through all of this. And it could be like$20,000. Whereas an estate plan, you know, ranges definitely less than$10,000.

SPEAKER_02 2:50

Right. And a judge isn't necessarily going to abide by all your wishes, right? I mean, it's it's a judge's decision. It's an unbiased third party. They have nothing.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

It's not up to you. Um, so it really makes you powerless. And I think that estate plans actually empower you to make your decisions. How do you want to live the rest of your life? Oh, so that's another component of the estate plan. So we have typically either a trust or a will, or we have a trust and a port over will. And then the third component are the powers. So we have the durable power of attorney, we have the durable medical healthcare power of attorney. And I always like to include the final disposition as well, HIPAA, the waivers. It also includes the living will. And it allows you to outline how you want the end of your life to look like.

SPEAKER_02 3:49

Is there one person that can be powers at all? Or do you need different people to do different powers? You can have and there's four powers of attorney, correct? I've heard medical, mental, financial, and I think there's In Arizona we have three different types.

SPEAKER_00 4:03

We have mental health care power of attorney, durable, general, medical, medical power of attorney. So you have the medical, general, and you have the mental. Okay. Now, sometimes in Arizona you also need the dementia directive. Okay. And so that's an important thing to consider when you're doing your estate plan, is um dementia run in your family? Is that something you might need to um, you know, plan for? Do you want to die in your home? Do you want to be comforted by family and friends? Do you want to be artificially fed? So those are all things to contemplate. And we provide that in the estate. And so not only do you get to think about how you want your estate distributed, but you also get to think about your personal, the personal items that you love, your memorabilia, um, you know, important jewelry, things that are just sentimental.

SPEAKER_02 5:04

Right. I heard a story from another attorney that said the kids fought over like a surfboard or boogie board or something, or grandma's toaster. The kids had different memories from grandma's toaster. So they had to go to court to dispute toaster. But um, I'm sure that's not typical. That's not typical. But you never know what happens. And I think that's why it is very important for people to consider the estate plan because just to avoid conflicts like this, and maybe you have to have those conversations with your family. Like, hey, kid, hey, grandkids, are you gonna fight over grandma's toaster? What are there things, and maybe the grandparent can still have those conversations while they're still healthy, then everybody's just at peace when grandma goes and they know exactly what they're gonna get of grandma's.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

Yeah, they know exactly what what they're gonna what they're going to get. And I I just want to emphasize the relief that somebody can feel when they get that estate plan done. And also for whoever is gonna be the power of attorney. Because in order to become a personal representative after somebody's death, you have to go through probate if you don't have this, these powers already in place. And that process is exhausting. I mean, you're you're dealing with death, a recent death. Maybe, maybe you want to get Facebook photos off of, you know, off of a loved one's phone, but you can't access it because you're not the durable power of attorney. That's interesting.

SPEAKER_02 6:33

But it doesn't even happen upon death with the power of attorney. But like if they just get um incapacitated for any reason or end up in the hospital and can't speak or in a coma or things like that, maybe they are gonna recover, but in that time that they are incapable, it's super important.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

Right. But you can also it could also be triggered even if they are not incapacitated. So it just depends on what you want. You know, for example, like just because you're married to somebody doesn't give them power of attorney over you to like to transact on your behalf on your financial accounts. So many married couples end up granting the power of attorney to their spouse, even though they're not incapacitated. So you can decide whether or not and when you want the power of attorney to come into effect.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

Okay, very good. So I I don't, I know everybody's gonna have different questions about what about this? What about that? What about, you know. So can you break it down? What does it look like when somebody comes to you and says, I think I need an estate plan? Can you kind of break it down into pieces of how you analyze their situation and help them make those decisions on life, death, future planning, powers of attorney, and all that things? Can you kind of just break it down and say, hey, when I meet somebody, this is what it looks like. So it's not so overwhelming, just so they have an idea of like all the things they have to think about.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

So it's not so overwhelming, I have to say. Um, I try to make it fairly simple. You call me, I send you an intake form. The intake form will ask you questions such as who do you want to uh be in charge of your estate when you die? Who do you want to make medical decisions on your behalf? Who do you want to make any financial decisions on your behalf? It asks you questions like, do you have children? What are the ages of your children? Do any of your children have substance abuse issues? Do you want to disinherit anybody? And that that is actually fairly common, unfortunately. But there's different circumstances for everybody, and so it just depends. And, you know, I honor whatever that person wants. And I do believe that everybody deserves a right to have their estate plan drafted the way they want it done.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

So say they don't have children. What is what does that look like?

SPEAKER_00 8:49

Oh, I've seen all sorts of different things. I've seen one person give a hundred thousand dollars to their best friend upon their death to go on a trip around the world. I've seen somebody give their whole entire estate to their next door neighbor. I've seen somebody leave their entire estate as a surprise to their best friend's daughter so that she will be surprised when it's time for her to go to college. So there's all sorts of different things. You can leave your estate to charity, you can make a foundation. There's all sorts of different ways to leave like a footprint on the life you led here in this world. That's really cool.

SPEAKER_02 9:32

What is something when they sit down and do an a statement and they're like, oh my gosh, I didn't even think of this. I'm so glad you brought this up. BS, do you have a situation or a story you could share with about that?

SPEAKER_00 9:41

Maybe I would say that, you know, most people don't think about writing, listing a beneficiary in their accounts.

SPEAKER_02 9:52

Oh, okay. And they're for the Yeah, talk more about that because my parents just had a will, no estate plan, but we were listed as beneficiaries on all the accounts and on the house. Pretty easy. So you were able to avoid probate in many ways. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 10:05

Yes. So so there are probate avoidant ways to do your estate scan without a trust. Okay. It's very possible. And it usually comes into play when you don't have many children, you don't have a ton of assets, you don't have beneficiaries listed. It's really good when there's a very complex situation where you want distribution to take place at different stages or milestones for your children or your grandchildren, for example.

SPEAKER_02 10:39

Like when they go away to college or when they buy their first house or you know, like get married.

SPEAKER_00 10:44

Okay. Yeah, different milestones or ages. And so that is a good time, I suggest, to make a trust. Okay. Also, if there's different, you know, different family situations, blended families, um all sorts of different things. Also, if you want, you know, things to be private. Um, now a trust is generally a private document that you don't have to disclose after death unless that person is the beneficiary. Okay. Explain that a little bit more. So how does that work? I know. How are how do you keep a secret trust? Well, so it's it's private. Okay. It's a private, it's not secret, it's private. Okay. It's a private document that shares how you want to distribute your property after you die. So you're saying that basically the person doesn't have to have a conversation prior to Only the people who are beneficiaries are are entitled to see the trust, essentially. The private document. The private document.

SPEAKER_02 11:50

Okay. And when something does happen, like how does that process initiate? Like, okay, now somebody passed. How do you find the trust? Who's got it? Like, where do they, where does the kid access it? Because I know when my mom passed, you know, things were done. There were papers everywhere. And we were like, all right, where did mom keep this? We didn't, we never talked about it because they passed unexpectedly and younger. And I think it catches people off guard. And that's what I'm trying to help people is not catch them off guard. I I want to help people understand and be proactive in all of this. So, like, how does the trust get, I guess, revealed or talked about or helped them?

SPEAKER_00 12:29

So, you know, oftentimes I suggest that they send an electric copy to the trustee or the executor of the estate, also the durable power of attorney. Often it could be the same person, which you mentioned earlier. And at least they will have an electronic copy. In terms of their original hard copy, keep it in a SEAD deposit box, keep it in your office, keep it somewhere safe, then you can always reach out to the attorney that drafted it as well. And each attorney is responsible for succession planning as well. So when the time comes, when I'm no longer practicing in many, many years, I will have a succession plan for another attorney to take over my files. And I try to be open when somebody dies, I try to have the children or the beneficiaries come into my office and we sit down and we have a conversation and we and we go through and we we go through a checklist about all the things that they need to do. I show them all the documents, the certification of trust, you know, and the um I I show them how to do different file different affidavits of death, stuff like that. So a good start would be to go to the attorney that drafted it, and I'm sure they would welcome you to their office.

SPEAKER_02 13:53

Okay. So it's super important that people have that attorney listed somewhere because my parents will, like, there was an attorney on there, but I'd never heard of them. I had no idea where they came from. Like, how did my parents even know them? And we just happened, like the week before my dad passed, we just had to say, Do we know what to do? And my dad's like, just finish the will. You want to read it? And we're like, Oh no, la la la. We're the kids, we don't want to hear that. No. Um, but we did not contact the attorney because there was no discrepancy and everything was in beneficiaries, and there was really no it was pretty clear, like, and my brother and I got along.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

So it was See, that's a big difference, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:29

Yeah. So um I think of the parents that maybe they do have a trust, but they haven't been talking to their kids for the last few years. So now how do the kids know when mom and dad passed, how to find the attorney's name? So it should this be like in the emergency context? I mean, I've talked to people about doing like an emergency list of, you know, all the people. So trust the trust attorney or a state planning attorney would be the one.

SPEAKER_00 14:52

There's different ways to go about to go about it and finding out who the attorney was that drafted it.

SPEAKER_02 14:57

What's your best recommendation?

SPEAKER_00 14:59

I would look on the Maricopa County Recorder's office to see who recorded their deed. Who requests who requested the recording of their deed. Okay. And it's usually lists the attorney that requests the recording of the deed. For the trust. For the trust. When you transfer when you transfer because I've sometimes even the beneficiary deed at lists who prepared it. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

That makes sense. So that's what I wouldn't have So that's what I would do.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

That's why you should reach out to an attorney. They know what to do. And you'll give all those instructions to everybody. I would. I would. I absolutely would.

SPEAKER_02 15:30

So when you sit down with the family, you would explain, like, okay, well, make sure kid this kid, power of attorney, knows where everything's at.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

Right. Yeah. And not just like leave the parents with papers and here's your trust. No, no, no. Go talk to your kids.

SPEAKER_00 15:45

And I and they tell the parents, especially elder parents, that I am going to be available for their children. The children can contact me at any time. Afterwards, I am here for them.

SPEAKER_02 15:57

Are they allowed to get any information prior to the parents passing? Or is that all just a hip or street?

SPEAKER_00 16:05

Well, depends. Like if they're a power of attorney, maybe they're trustee. Maybe they were already given um the trustee powers. It it just depends on the situation. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 16:14

It's good to know because I wouldn't have known and I'm sure, like as a curious kid, I would be like, Can you tell me my mom's stuff? And if and I'm if I'm not legally allowed to, then I need to know that and why. You know. But I was just curious because I never thought about that.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

The trustee doesn't have the duty to share the contents of the trust until somebody dies and the people are considered beneficiaries.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

Okay. That's exactly what most children probably need. Um, just a couple more questions and we can wrap it up because I know there's we could talk a million different scenarios and situations and things. But what age do you suggest that people get a trust?

SPEAKER_00 16:55

I think that it's a good idea for anybody who owns a house. You know, there are some, you know, young, younger people in their twenties who own houses. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:05

If you're if you're a homeowner, you should definitely have a plan.

SPEAKER_00 17:07

I think so.

SPEAKER_02 17:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

You know, you know, because you never know what will happen. You never know if you might get into a car accident and become unconscious. Right. Who's going to make those medical decisions on your behalf? And it it's important to think about. I mean, you don't want to think about it, but it could happen. And so why not be empowered now? Right. That makes sense. You know, and I think it's important too, especially if somebody has different religious desires or religious needs, that they get to write in how they want their memorial service or, you know, their celebration of life, or how they want to be um interred. And it's it's very important that they get it too. Some people choose like to play a song really loudly that that they feel very connected to.

SPEAKER_02 17:56

So you can do that in your trust. You don't have to like do a pre-planned funeral.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

It would not be in the trust, it would be in the final disposition portion of the estate plan. Okay. You can also prepare and make plans for your plot or where you want your ashes interred. You can also specify where you want your ashes spread, who you want invited. I mean, there's a whole, it is up to you. And I think that is the key I want to drive home. It's an empowering experience. It's not something to avoid and be anxious about. Um, and I try to make it very friendly, very approachable. And I think anybody that has any sort of assets should have some sort of planning. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:41

And so say they do do it early and on time and everybody's got peace of mind that it's moving forward. How often should they review that?

SPEAKER_00 18:48

I'd say every year. Every year? Every year they should review it because things change. People change. Maybe somebody's no longer here. Maybe somebody isn't mentally capable anymore of like handling things, being your durable power of attorney anymore. Or um maybe somebody just don't they don't talk to them. Maybe they're busy, busy professionals, and you don't want to put that on their plate anymore. If you end up having more children, or you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:17

There's a million things, a million life scenarios for something.

SPEAKER_00 19:20

You end up um buying another house. Okay. You end up inheriting money, you get married. I mean, there's a bunch of different life triggers, and I think just revisiting it once a year.

SPEAKER_02 19:31

Now, is there is it expensive for them to go in and make those modifications if they do review it every year?

SPEAKER_00 19:36

Many attorneys like me have a discounted plan. So if they sign up with me, they can pay this annual fee. Um, and that will include any yearly updates that they need. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 19:50

Mm-hmm. Okay, good. I think we got like a lot of great basic topics covered for people that have not looked into estate plan or trusts or why you want to avoid probate, like all of the things.

SPEAKER_00 20:02

And I think also just how you want your end of life to look like. Do you want comfort care? I had one person who wanted their life prolonged as long as possible, despite anything that could happen to them. And so that's very possible too. Okay. Um, some people are absolutely against cremation, and some people are totally for cremation. So it's all it's all dependent on what you as a person feel is right for you. And you should write it down so it's documented and that the people who are your representatives, they will be responsible for following through with it.

SPEAKER_02 20:40

And it needs to be written down and run by an attorney run through an attorney, not just a piece of paper. Because I think people think because they can write it on a like you said, they've they've written it down and now it's law. And I think that's where there's a lot of misconceptions. And I think people think because they've written down handwritten their wishes or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 20:59

It needs to be signed, it needs to be dated. That's important. Some people just write it down and they never sign it, they never date it, they don't know what it's it, they don't witness it. When you come to an attorney to do it, you have somebody that actually thinks. Right. ChatGBT doesn't think. Right. Uh ChatGBT could be wrong. Chat GBT did not go through law school.

unknown 21:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

I don't know. It's just um, and you want somebody to think about the totality of your estate plan, the totality of your experience as a person. When I do your estate plan, I get to know you. You actually have to sit with me for a couple of hours over the course of our relationship, over the course of our engagement. We have our, you know, we we we sit, we talk, we I learn things about your family. I learn things about how you grew up, what your values are. And it's so, so important to have that personal touch, that generative. AI does not have. So, and then when you come to me, we make sure that we have our witnesses, have our um notary, and you sit with me for at least an hour to go through all the signing. I get to know you and your family and your values very well. Right. And so we become friends. And you know, I'm I'm gonna be a lifelong partner with you and your estate. Awesome.

SPEAKER_02 22:24

And that's good to know too, because I don't think people understand that's why people do what they do. There's a relationship for everyone. And find that person that you connect with and can build that relationship with and they can trust. And I think that's with every business. That's all we want to do is work with people that know, like, and trust us and know that we have their best interests in mind at all times.

SPEAKER_00 22:44

Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. And we will always respect their wishes.

SPEAKER_02 22:48

Yeah. So that's great. Well, Shauna, thank you so much for the opportunity. Giving me some tidbits to share with my community. Um, I want people to start thinking about these things. I want to help people be proactive and do things that are preventative to save you time and money and grief later. So thank you so much, Shauna. And if you're interested, um, Shauna, give me your name where people can find you. Yes, um, and then we'll put it in the show notes as well. So if anybody wants to find you through that, then they can contact you.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

Uh my law firm is Schmeiserlaw P L L C. I'm Shauna Schmeiser. You'll always be contacting me. Um, I try to always have a personal touch. Um, we'll have my phone number and my website is www.schmeizer.aw.

SPEAKER_02 23:42

Thank you. Thank you so much. And thank you for listening again today. If you have any topics that you're dying to hear about, reach out to me. Shoot me a DM, comment, like, subscribe, share it with your friends. Your parent porter was created to give you peace of mind for your families, for what's coming. I don't want you to be caught off guard. I just don't want you to have to go through what I what I've gone through. And I've and I feel like I was even blessed with the way mine went down versus I've heard so many horror stories. So just trying to give you as much information as I can to help you live a longer, happier, healthier life, and especially with your family while they're still here and you can enjoy every moment. So thank you so much, and I'll talk to you guys later.

SPEAKER_01 24:25

Thanks for listening to My Parents Lie to Me, where we face the realities of aging, family change, and midlife reinvention with a little grit and a lot of heart. If today's conversation helped you feel left alone, I would love for you to like it, share it with a friend, and hit follow so you don't miss the next story or tip that might help you navigate with that. Because even if our parents didn't tell us everything, we're figuring it out one chapter at a time.