Schall We Talk with Robyn Schall

Episode 36 - Schall We Talk about Stressing Out and Calming Down

Robyn Schall

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0:00 | 49:27

Well once again, I woke up in the middle of the night anxious, couldn’t sleep, and decided the healthiest thing to do was obviously record a podcast in my pajamas.

So yes, this is another middle-of-the-night episode.

In this episode:

• Security and I make wedding predictions 

• Dr. Piano Man joins me in the studio and somehow turns my anxious spiral into a surprisingly deep conversation about life, love, and what it means to live well

• We read ridiculous Reddit stories about Thanksgiving PowerPoints, gender reveal magicians, and family chaos

• Dr. Piano Man and I start brainstorming the least romantic prenup clauses of all time

• A discussion about 75 Hard that lasted about 75 seconds

• Mama Schall’s motherly advice for anyone who wakes up anxious in the middle of the night

This one is sleepy, funny, weirdly comforting, a little emotional, and exactly what happens when anxiety meets a podcast studio.

Reminder to get your tickets to the Bachelorette Comedy Show in Boston and New York - https://robynschall.com/upcoming-shows/

Totebags and prints on our Etsy Page - https://www.etsy.com/shop/RobynsBookShop

Producer shout-outs: Susan Santoro, Melissa Kirsch, Veronica and Deanna, Tamar Fix, and Dr. Piano Man

Join our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/SchallWeTalk

#SchallWeTalk #MiddleOfTheNightPodcast #ComedyPodcast #PodcastChaos #MamaSchall #DrPianoMan #WeddingPlanning #Anxiety #RedditStories #BacheloretteComedyShow #RobynSchall #YouTubeCreator #PatreonCreator

unknown

Shall we talk?

SPEAKER_06

Oh, can't you see? This is where you wanna be.

SPEAKER_03

Hi everyone, welcome back to Show We Talk. Today's episode, I feel very, very tired. I was up late. Well, I woke up in the middle of the night. We have another middle of the night podcast. By the way, I have to say, I call you'll say I call security. I think every time I've called you when recording the pod, you've always offered to come over. Always. And I think that is really nice.

SPEAKER_06

Of course.

SPEAKER_03

Is it because you're nervous about my well-being or because you don't want to miss out on the podcast?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

You know what? Yeah. Securities therapist once told him if he's ever anxious to do this. And now we always do it, and then we just start laughing. Alright, so anyway, we I I ended up recording a podcast in the middle of the night. Last night I was feeling super anxious and I just couldn't sleep. And I figured, you know what? I'm I was about to go start reading funny Reddit stories just to like calm my nerves. I figured, you know what? Let me record because if I'm up, I might as well hang out with you guys. And then we appreciate you. Make sure you subscribe, like, and leave a nice comment. For everyone listening, leave a nice comment on Apple. We're at 97 reviews. We're so close. Can you check? Is it 97 still?

SPEAKER_06

97.

SPEAKER_03

We're at 97 on Apple Podcasts. We just need three of you. I mean, you mean Antonio?

SPEAKER_06

We can just do it right now.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so anyway. What a brilliant podcast, minus the host. So I was really anxious. I just I can acknowledge there's a lot going on right now. I'm like, so I told him no that because I am anxious. I have a lot on my plate between the wedding and the shows. Speaking of, make sure you get your tickets to the Bachelorette comedy shows. We've got the Wilbur. We'll put the link down below. Boston, get your tickets. Tell a friend, tell a sister, tell a man on the street. Speaking of, I'm so embarrassed of myself.

SPEAKER_06

What'd you do?

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so the area I live in in Manhattan, my like four-block radius has a lot of characters. I'm very close to Port Authority. So when I say characters, I mean I've seen multiple people like pooping themselves, you know, the outfits are questionable. We have the local drug dealer, like two stories down, who just sits on a lounge chair. And like the police must know because he does it like right in the open. Okay, I'm pretty sure because going to get coffee every morning, the characters I see, I've just become so like desensorized. So this morning when I went to go get coffee, I put on jeans and like a black t-shirt, no bra. Now, this may mean anything to some of you, but some of you know you cannot just wear a t-shirt if you're a well-endowed woman, just trolling the street. So I'm walking. I got some insane looks. And by the time I was one block down, I I mean, I knew exactly what they were giving me looks for. I looked like the crazy person. Like I I had stumbled out of bed, my hair wasn't brushed. I mean, it's still not brushed, which is why I put on a hat. But I put on a bra. Yeah, and I could just see everyone look staring at me. So yeah, I was the embarrassment. But I'm tired. We recorded a podcast in the middle of the night. Oh, you know what? I thought could be so fun.

SPEAKER_05

What?

SPEAKER_03

Do you want to make predictions on the wedding and then we could stitch this the week after the wedding?

SPEAKER_06

Okay. Sounds good.

SPEAKER_03

Let me get up. I didn't like. It's not my list. Okay, you ready? So today is June 16th, 2026, and I'm going to give my predictions for my wedding, which is in September, in three months from now, and then post-wedding, I will stitch this and see if my predictions were correct. Will the groom, Dr. Piano Man, cry when Robin walks down the aisle? Hmm. No, I don't think so. I think he's gonna have a huge grin. I think maybe during vows, he may like, his eyes will get watery, but I think the walking down, he's just gonna be like his big smile. What do you think?

SPEAKER_06

I think he's gonna cry.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, good. I like the controversy. Like I like us having different opinions. Okay, for this next one, I need to tell you everyone who's giving speeches, just because it says who will give the drunk a speech. So at the welcome party, Salva, Belinda, Michael, and and Marga.

SPEAKER_06

And then Michael?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Like a CIA? Yeah. Really?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, at Passover, I I turned to him, I said, Did you wanna get because like you're officiating, and then dad's giving the speech, and mom's gonna give like so he's like, I I go, no, the way I worded it, I was like, I I was like, I know you don't want to give a speech, but like if you wanted to at the welcome party, you know you can. He goes, No, no, I'd want to. Alright. I don't know if he'll remember that he said that.

SPEAKER_06

That's who's gonna be the drunkest. That's it. That's who's gonna be the drunk one.

SPEAKER_02

You know what I'm saying? CIA.

SPEAKER_06

I don't want to hear the others. That's my choice. That's it.

SPEAKER_03

I think the drunkest is gonna be Tushar Antonio's best man. Can I tell you why I think I'm right over you? The welcome Oh no, because he could have been drinking all day. Like the party's at night. Oh yeah, this could be a close one. Oh, this is gonna be good. Alright. Who will be the first person on the dance floor? Me.

SPEAKER_06

Me.

SPEAKER_03

Me.

SPEAKER_06

Me.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, because you're gonna say everyone get on the dance floor?

SPEAKER_06

And if you start going, push.

SPEAKER_03

Alright, I'm gonna say me. I think like the second the music pops, I'm gonna be on the dance floor. Who will be the last person partying at 2 a.m.?

SPEAKER_06

I think uh Tushar.

SPEAKER_03

And I think our brother, CIA.

SPEAKER_06

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Clearly you can see who the fun one's off. It's not us.

SPEAKER_06

We'll be asleep.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Who will cry more? Mama Shaw or Robin throughout the whole day. My prediction is my mom is gonna cry a lot more than me.

SPEAKER_06

Mom?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I'm only gonna cry like out of anger. Like someone's gonna piss me off when I start. When I'm angry, I cry. Like you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. What song will get the biggest reaction on the dance floor? The horra.

SPEAKER_06

Hora.

SPEAKER_03

Especially because Dr. Piano Man's family is not Jewish, but they're fun. So I think when we bust out into the horra, if you don't know the horror is like a celebratory dance that Jewish people do at weddings and bar mitzvahs and things like that, I uh think his family's gonna get so into it.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

How many times will the bride lose her phone? I think zero, because I don't even have my phone with me. We hired a content creator. That's someone who films content on the phone for you, and then she uploads everything to my phone the next day. So I think I'm not gonna have my phone.

SPEAKER_06

And anybody you need to contact is there.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I actually like don't want to talk to anyone that day until the wedding, also. Like, oh cry. Okay. Okay. Do we think anyone's gonna get so drunk that they pass out at the wedding? No. Two char and CI. Okay. I say no. No one's gonna get like sloppy. Yeah. And if they do, great. It's a wedding. Have fun. We need some sloppiness. Alright, I'm just gonna come up with ones, okay?

SPEAKER_04

Alright.

SPEAKER_03

How many hookups of people who aren't married or dating, like random hookups, will happen at the wedding? I'm gonna say one.

SPEAKER_06

I was gonna say one. But just for fun, I'm gonna say two.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, like two hookups.

SPEAKER_06

Two hookups.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Oh, I hope. That's so fun.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, me too.

SPEAKER_03

I hope it's me. Okay, but the thing is, like, you have a very slim picking because you're related to Osama. Yeah. Actually, only one. The rest you're not related to. Inez. Inez's friend.

SPEAKER_06

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03

Paula.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

He has two cousins.

SPEAKER_06

There you go. And maybe one of the waitresses.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, that's true. It doesn't necessarily need to be. No. Oh, I didn't even think about that.

SPEAKER_06

Waitresses? There's one of the horses? Patreon.

SPEAKER_00

Absolutely not. That is in the episode.

SPEAKER_03

I'd reappeat. Alright, so let's cut to the footage from last night. Again, we're recording this before editing that, so I don't know what's gonna be in it. But alright, watch me crash out a little and let's laugh on some funny stories. Hello everyone. Welcome back to the middle of the night pod. I think we could do an entire podcast, like a brand new podcast where it's all just middle of the night. Because I really do like at least twice a week, can't sleep, and I'm just laying there in bed and I'm like, I want to just record a podcast because then I feel like I'm just like getting it out. Alright, so hi everyone. Oh my gosh, I'm so anxious. If you're listening, I it's literally the middle of the night and I'm in my pajamas, and I why am I so anxious? Oh my gosh. I tell you something. The reason why I'm anxious, we have a wedding in three months, and I'm madly in love with my fiance. But it is, it's like very stressful, like throwing a wedding, especially in another country. It's just been it's like a lot, and I feel very stressed out. I also feel stressed out about all the comedy shows coming up, which obviously I love performing. That part is not stressful, meeting you guys, not stressful, but like selling tickets and like all of the business end of it.

SPEAKER_04

So stressful.

SPEAKER_03

I know you guys, a lot of you were like, Oh, can you live stream tickets? Like sell tickets to live stream. And that is a whole other level. Like, you have to hire like a crew because you don't want to just like sell tickets and then not have internet or have it be blurry or not like the sound system. Like you need certain sound to hook up to to live stream. Plus, then once you start selling tickets for something, then you like you have to give the rights, like dealing with the theater, and then they take a percentage, and then the agents and managers take percentages. It's like so much more complex. I'm sharing more than you guys probably even care about. These are all just stuff that's on my plate. So let's see. We got the wedding stressing me out, we got the tours stressing me out. Really, it's not the tours, it's just ticket sales and like administrative work. What else is stressing me out? Life bills. I don't know. I guess that's it. The thought of moving. I know we're not moving for another year, but that's stressful. It's all stressful. And you guys are probably listening to say, Robin, I have 10 billion more stresses than you. You're probably right. Yeah, I'm sorry. Whatever. We could all be stressed together. My mom would always say when I was younger, because I'd always feel bad about complaining about being in pain. Like, I'm I would always be like, Oh, I know people have so much worse. And she would go, So? She goes, if someone has cancer and you stuck your toe, does that mean your toe doesn't hurt? And it always stuck with me, because it's true. Like, yeah, there's people that have it worse, and maybe your problem's not that bad, but it's still your problem. So if you're listening right now and you're stressed out, your problem, you're justified. All right. So I was thinking, I don't want this to be a pity party. I don't want this to be a complaining episode. I want to try to cheer me up. Uh, something I've learned about myself is I don't like being anxious. I don't like being sad. I need to get myself out of it immediately. So I'm gonna pause for like a minute. I'm gonna find some Reddit funny stories, either about relationships, breakups, families. I don't know. We'll find a bunch of fun stuff. All right. I'm not reading this beforehand. So if these stink, I'll cut it. And if they're inappropriate, Patreon, they're coming your way. My again, I'm not reading these beforehand, so like I don't know if they're funny. All right. My cousin hijacked Thanksgiving with a 45-minute slideshow about his financial freedom. My cousin Kyle got into a multi-level marketing scheme about six months ago. We all knew it. We all ignored his Instagram stories, and we thought we were safe. Cut to Thanksgiving dinner. Dessert is clearing, and Kyle stands up, clinks his glass, and says he has a special family announcement. My grandma thought he was proposing to his girlfriend. Instead, he pulls out a portable projector, aims it at the dining room wall, and dims the light. By the way, this is like my worst nightmare. Like, even for like the speeches at the wedding, like I'm putting time limits on people. Because like people just ramble at oh, is that what is that what I'm doing right now? I'm like, people rambling and on and on as I have a podcast that that's exactly what I do. All right, my grandma thought he was proposing to his girlfriend. Instead, he pulls out a portable projector, aims it at the dining room wall, and dims the light. He proceeds to give a 45-minute PowerPoint presentation on cryptocurrency and energy drinks. He had slides with titles like Why Working a Nine to Five is Financial Slavery, directed right at my dad, who has worked the same manufacturing job for 30 years and generated wealth starts with me. The best part, my grandpa fell asleep five minutes in and started snoring incredibly loud, perfectly synced up with Kyle's slides about passive income. Nobody stopped him because we were too paralyzed by this sheer secondhand embarrassment. Oh my god. Oh my god. I oh my gosh. I'm trying to think like what would happen in my face. Like if security sat everyone down and was like, I have a PowerPoint, we'd all sit there politely and then just make like eye contact. Well, usually security is the person I'm making eye contact with when like things are awkward. Like, yeah, like if there's something happening within the family, like we'll look at each other. I'm sure that's what it would be. I can't think of anyone in my family doing this, though. All right, let's do another one. I hired a magician. Should we call security? Sorry if you're listening and not watching. I'm just sitting here thinking. I feel like he would appreciate a call. Speaking. Speaking of security. Speaking of security, I just feel like the last time we did a podcast in the middle of the night, like he was glad I called. I'm calling him.

SPEAKER_01

What what are you doing?

SPEAKER_02

Yes. Wait, were you up? No. Oh, why else did you call me?

SPEAKER_03

I am security. I am so anxious.

SPEAKER_06

That's why you do the podcast.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06

Do I call her?

SPEAKER_03

Imagine Antonio like wakes up, comes to live in the room, and you're just in here like doing a podcast suddenly at two in the morning.

SPEAKER_00

So funny.

SPEAKER_03

No, I'm just like reading funny Reddit stories, and there was one about like uh someone in the family like doing a PowerPoint at Thanksgiving and like like overtaking. Are you yawning? Are you finding this boring, Security?

SPEAKER_06

Sorry.

SPEAKER_03

All right. Well, you're not really bringing much to this conversation, Security.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, Alex just came in.

SPEAKER_03

Oh cute. All right.

SPEAKER_06

I'm sorry. What else do I want to talk about?

SPEAKER_03

I don't know. I'm tired. I'm like, all right, I'm ready to go to sleep.

SPEAKER_06

Thanks for calling.

SPEAKER_03

No problem. Do you want me to read a thingy to you?

SPEAKER_06

Sure.

SPEAKER_03

A hired magician ruined my sister's gender reveal party. So this is what happened. My sister is a bit of a drama queen. Hey, is this you? And wanted a massive theatrical gender reveal. Instead of a cake or a balloon, she hired a local birthday party magician to do a trick that would reveal the color. The plan was for him to pull a long stream of ribbons out of his hat. The whole family gathered in the backyard. The magician is doing his intro, trying to build suspense. He does a few basic card tricks, and then he's clearly nervous. Finally, it's time for his big reveal. He waves his wand, yells, Abracadabra, reaches into the hat, and pulls out a live, incredibly stressed-out white pigeon. No ribbons, just a bird. The bird immediately panics, flies directly into the dessert table, knocks over the teard cake, and then poops on my brother-in-law's white shirt. It turned out the magician brought the wrong hat from the car. My sister started sobbing hysterically because the moment was ruined, and I made the mistake of absolutely losing my mind laughing. My mom says I'm insensitive and unsympathetic, but it was the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. Oh my god, that's my dream. We would go so viral.

SPEAKER_06

I wish I was there.

SPEAKER_03

That's how I want life to be. So chaotic and fun.

SPEAKER_06

That sounds amazing.

SPEAKER_03

Amazing.

SPEAKER_06

I applaud that magician.

SPEAKER_03

Me too. I feel bad for the woman that she couldn't laugh at this. But you know what? She's nine months pregnant. Let's, or eight months, who knows? But let's we'll give her cutter some slack. But that's so fun.

SPEAKER_06

That is great. Oh my gosh. That is wonderful.

SPEAKER_03

You sound, I'm telling you, you're really perky for the middle of the night. No, you no, you lifted my spirits. Like I'm complimenting you because I was like a little dragon.

SPEAKER_00

I'll come over.

SPEAKER_03

Sorry, I was drinking.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, it's okay.

SPEAKER_03

In the bottle. No, no, no. Go to sleep. This was fun. Good night. All right, good night. All right, let's do a few more fun Reddit stories. Can I just tell you guys? I'm so thankful for you guys. Like, how cool is this that I'm feeling anxious and I get to like just set up a camera and talk to you guys. By the way, I'm 95% sure the sound is recording. I know the cameras are recording. I still don't understand how this works. Like the mic. So either we'll pick up the sound from you guys on the camera or this all worked. Okay, here we go. Let's do another one. Always label your container before a family potlock because my mom is a master gardener and makes her own organic, heavy-duty hot pepper pesticide spray using ghost peppers, garlic, and vinegar. She keeps it in the fridge in a plain unlabeled Tupperware container so it slays fresh before she puts in it. Put yeah.

unknown

Hi.

SPEAKER_03

I couldn't sleep. I'm so anxious. I set up the podcast. You wanna come in? It won't be on camera. Those won't show it.

SPEAKER_01

He's in his underwear.

SPEAKER_03

That means you're a guest. Are you a guest? Are you okay?

SPEAKER_07

Oh, I f oh, I fell in the trap. This was a trap all along. Okay. No, I really was anxious.

SPEAKER_03

I couldn't sleep when I came in here.

SPEAKER_07

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

How freaking cool is it that uh we have a podcast studio in our home?

SPEAKER_07

And it has a lot of books. And just looking at the books and it it calms me down.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Hold on. I'm gonna visually, for those of watching on uh YouTube, let me show you. Like this is what we're looking at, like on the other side. That's where security usually sits. But like he was saying, like these books all calm him down. You know, you got so much love on the last middle of the night episode when you talked about the love of your books.

SPEAKER_07

He's reading currently uh a number of things, but I I was reading these last few days, Donkey Shot.

SPEAKER_03

I know you you said you want to buy a really like nice edition, right?

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, but you kind of find these like nice artistic editions like in Amazon or anything. It has to be like one of these old bookstores, and probably in Spain. I don't know. How can we do it?

SPEAKER_03

Like when we go for a wedding.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

That's one of the things stressing me out, hon.

SPEAKER_07

The wedding?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Not the marriage, let me clarify.

SPEAKER_07

But that's normal.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. On a handshake. Guys, everything is on a freaking handshake. Our shuttle buses, yeah, yeah. We're gonna have shuttle buses. I shook the guy's hand. Our welcome party, we're like, Do you want a deposit? Nah, we know your family. It's all good. Like our whole welcome party, there's no deposit. Contract. We have eighty people coming.

SPEAKER_07

That's all right.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Oh, uh we're they're supposed to spend three the three nights at our villa before our wedding and night of wedding, and we asked him, like, how much? And he goes, Oh, we'll figure it out.

SPEAKER_07

We'll figure it out.

SPEAKER_01

So you see why I'm a little stressed.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. Don't be stressed.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_07

You see how we say this?

SPEAKER_03

Oh my gosh. Alright. What's the thing you're most excited for about the wedding? What's the thing you're most anxious about for the wedding?

SPEAKER_07

I'm excited for having for the week that that week to having people coming, uh being arriving in different ways.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Um, the families meeting, hanging out, yeah, having some little like quiet time in the countryside. Yeah. You know?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

I imagine like we'll wake up in the morning and go for a run among the horses.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, what's uh the thing that's you're just a little anxious about?

SPEAKER_07

Uh I don't I'm not anxious about anything particular. I just want everyone to make it there to be healthy. Yeah. Um they are with no no you know, shadows in their minds, like it's having a good time.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

That's it. It's it's all good. I I'm not anxious about anything.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, this is why I need him. Do you see this? Like, he's so common. Like here, like I was thinking of like 800 things that can make me anxious. He's like, but as long as everyone's there and healthy, like, what does it matter? And he's a hundred percent right.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, and I can tell you that things are gonna there's some things are gonna go wrong.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Nothing will go a hundred percent. Yeah, nothing ever like there's so many moving pieces, but whatever is wrong is part of the story. You know, we'll look back and probably is the one thing we'll remember. Yeah, uh that you know.

SPEAKER_03

That's so true. All right, I have uh a question question.

SPEAKER_07

Question question.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Okay, if you were the host of Shall We Talk and I was your guest, what's a question you would ask me?

SPEAKER_07

What is a what is a life well lived?

SPEAKER_03

What is a life well lived? Oh my gosh, this is deep. What is a life well lived? Okay, to me, a life well lived is a life surrounded by people you love. I think it's all about the people. Oh, I'm gonna cry. You know, the other day I was with Regina just in a pool. Like how lucky that my best friend makes me laugh so hard and Jen and Adam and everyone's flying into the wedding. My brothers are amazing, my parents are amazing, the greatest fiance that's ever walked the planet.

SPEAKER_07

Except for those of people listening.

SPEAKER_02

What? Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Your fiancees are are equally amazing.

SPEAKER_07

Except for those of people listening, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. No, but you're right. Like, I shouldn't be anxious. What's a life what was the question?

SPEAKER_07

What's a life well lived?

SPEAKER_03

A life, what what's a life well lived? A life well lived is surrounding yourself by amazing people. Think about like the kids. I've got hundreds of thousands of people that follow me who are amazing, like such good people. Like how black I live a life well lived. I am surrounded by so many good people. Yeah, nothing else matters, right? Do you what what what do you think is a life well lived? I think it's like being left alone. Okay.

SPEAKER_07

No, I think it's a life where at the end of it you left the world a little bit better than you found it. And you can measure that in any way you want. You know, you make happier a person on a single moment. That's a positive impact in the world. I mean, it doesn't matter how small.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Like it's it's measurably better. And you know, if you leave the world a little bit better than you found it. And we if we all did that, yeah. You know, things will be better, Robert.

SPEAKER_03

Well, you're defin uh you definitely left the world better.

SPEAKER_07

Well, I don't know. But we'll see. They just still tend to mess up.

SPEAKER_03

Oh God. So we're gonna do a prenup before the wedding. And I want, you know, some stuff is gonna be obviously like, you know, smart things that we should, you know. But I think it'll be so funny to put like fun things in there. Because we are gonna spend the rest of our lives together. We know that. But we just want to do a prenup because we think like it's really smart. I think we're we're both well into our careers and smart enough to know that it doesn't hurt to have a prenup. Anyway, we want to make it fun too, because we don't want this to be this heavy, serious thing. So I will let you guys come up with stuff in the comment section on YouTube of things we should put in. Like, I think like there should be stuff like, you know, if we get into a fight, you have to buy me munchkins the next day.

SPEAKER_07

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Well, what you don't want that in the prenup? I actually just came up with that. Thought it was genius.

SPEAKER_07

It sounds like an incentive for you to pick up fights. I mean, I'm all for that, but I I you could exploit it. Yes.

SPEAKER_02

I didn't think of that. That's funny. You come up with a funny one.

SPEAKER_07

All right. If if we if we fight, yeah, you have to read Don Quixote in English. I have to read Penis Poke Pokey per se. And you know what? It will be harder for me to read the penis pokey book.

SPEAKER_04

Have you read it? It's actually a great book. No, it's a great book. Do you want me to read it to you?

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. Okay. I kind of need you to read it to me.

SPEAKER_03

It's a fabulous book. I highly recommend. Oh my god, hilarious. All right, well, that was a great question for your interview. Do you want to do one more question?

SPEAKER_07

One more question. Like I'm asking the host.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, like you're the host of the podcast. This is your show, even though you're not on camera. To be clear, he's not on camera because he's in his underwear. He's not dressed.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Although that would get me more views, just saying.

SPEAKER_07

So if if you could remove one aspect of person, security.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Okay, sorry, sorry.

SPEAKER_07

One aspect of human nature, what will that be? I'm gonna remove fear.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. I would remove the thing in certain humans that make them violent.

SPEAKER_07

But that's hard because there's many things.

SPEAKER_03

Like what why do we need violence?

SPEAKER_07

We don't need violence. I think violence is caused by the will for power, is caused by love, is caused by greed, is called by f caused by fear.

SPEAKER_03

I like So but so uh but then yeah, I I'm not understanding the question though.

SPEAKER_07

Just what what is the one thing in humans that causes the more rage? Fine.

SPEAKER_03

How about let me rephrase that? Rage.

SPEAKER_07

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Even in me, like I don't like when I have rage. Remember I had rage the other day, remember?

SPEAKER_07

I don't remember, but fine. But I think I in my opinion that that will have a positive.

SPEAKER_03

You're gonna put a positive on anything.

SPEAKER_07

But it will it will have measurably less than other things. Less positive than other things.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Why? What would you say?

SPEAKER_07

I think I'll say greed.

SPEAKER_03

But uh to your point, there's positives with greed too.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, and there is positive with rage also.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I I think the argument could be there's positives with anything.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, but I think I think it's the net effect.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, and I would argue that rage has a bigger negative than greed. Oh, I have a deep question. Are there ethical billionaires?

SPEAKER_07

Mm-hmm. I think so. Can I give you one?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

I think George Lucas.

SPEAKER_03

George Lucas?

SPEAKER_07

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01

Who's that?

SPEAKER_07

Who's that? He uh created Star Wars.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, guys, one story. On our first date, no, not our first day. It was like our second or third date. We were in bed. Okay, fine, let's make it our 50. Sorry, Mom. Anyway, we had all been dating very early on and we're laying in bed. I said, tell me something about you that would shock me. And he said, Okay. He goes, I have never seen any Star Wars, not even five minutes of a movie. I said, guess what? I too have never seen any Star Wars, not even five minutes. And he's like, What? He's like, I have never met anyone else who has been able to go this long without seeing any of the Star Wars, not even a scene. And that was a bonding uh one in a million. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Wow.

SPEAKER_03

We knew we knew it. And that's what and that's when he was like, I need to marry this girl. We went on a date last night. Well, it was his friend's birthday, but in my head it was like a date night because I got dressed, I met him out, he was already there. And I can I tell you something that was so sweet about it was so after we first we were playing, like, went to this like how do you what is it like? It's a bar where you can play games. Yeah, it's like but then they were like they were doing like an after party at another bar, and so we went, and this bar, like it reminded me of my 20s, like it was just packed, and the music was loud. The average age was probably 25. And Dr. Piano and I were probably having the most fun in the whole bar. Like we were dancing, we took pictures in the photo booth, we were like kissing and making out. Like I had so much fun.

SPEAKER_07

Me too.

SPEAKER_03

Like, I this needs to be in our prenup. I need to make sure that through our 90s we're doing things like that. Like we're going to bars with 20-year-olds and making out on the dance floor.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, but you put it in the prenup, which I'm not against. But we cannot do it because it's in the prenup, because that defeats the purpose.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, like we should do it because like the prenup is supposed to be like things we Yeah. Like if shit hits the fan.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Have you ever heard that phrase, or are you looking at me with 10X?

SPEAKER_07

No, I I've heard that phrase.

SPEAKER_03

I've I've Oh my god, that'd be such a fun video.

SPEAKER_07

Like shit hitting the fan? Like we you you your fan doesn't work, but we could buy a fan in which that works.

SPEAKER_03

We do, we yeah, we can that's disgusting. But no, like really crazy, like American sayings, like weird ones, like shit hit the fan, and see like what you not what you think, because we've done that before, but like how on a scale of one to ten, like how crazy.

SPEAKER_07

You know what's funny? You said literally shit hitting the fan, and next thing you say is that will be a fun video, and the fact that in my mind I thought that you were planning to put a fan and throw shit at it, that tells me like the shenanigans you are used to plan.

SPEAKER_03

So what's so amazing is so really I you can walk home and I could be doing anything and you won't be phased.

SPEAKER_07

Because if you thought I would do it one day I walk home, you were dressed as a pineapple and you had like a cigarette or something in your hand. And I just say like hi, and I went to to the room because I had a meeting.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_07

And then I forgot to ask you what that was about.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, it was a video of I think like a guy.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, it was a guy like doing something to a pineapple.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, sometimes the fans ask. So let's let's let's air it out.

SPEAKER_07

All right.

SPEAKER_03

How do you feel with the fact that like I do so many videos of like hot naked men and then me being like, ooh, la la.

SPEAKER_07

I think they're funny. They're they're funny. I mean, if the question is about me feeling uncomfortable, no, because I I feel very secure about ourselves. Like I I I don't have any fear. Like the I know what that means, I know the context, I know you know, and it's fun.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it's comedy. Someone once asked my dad, he's like, someone said, How can you sit at Robin's comedy shows when she's doing all these jokes about sleeping with this guy or this guy? My dad's like, it's an act. She's telling jokes, like she's telling stories, like he it's a script. She does these jokes at all the shows, like, you know, and I think some people don't realize that, like, it's an act. Like, they, oh, okay, for example, today some guy sent me a message and he's like, hey Robin, I I the video with the firefighters and you being in the cushion is so funny. I just showed it to everyone at the firehouse. And then I showed Dr. Piano Man the message, and I said, How can I make like a bit out of this? Like, how can I make a video? Like, come up with an idea with me. So it's never like a guy messages or I see a video of a hot guy and I'm like doing this behind his back. A lot of times I'll ask him, like, oh, is this funny? Or I'll sh I'll make the video and I'll send it to, or I'll text him, like, just posted a video, go watch. It's never like a I don't know. I he gets it's like him talking about quantum.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, or me going to the strip clubs, you know. Hmm.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it's like me when I sleep with other women. It's totally fine, Robin.

SPEAKER_07

But it doesn't bother you, right? I I've never been to a stick club, by the way.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, what?

SPEAKER_07

I've never been to a stick club.

SPEAKER_03

A sit club?

SPEAKER_07

A strip club.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, a strip club.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

A sit club. We go and sit. That's my that's my club. If I could go to a club where you just go and sit, I would love it. I think people bring a book or listen to a podcast.

SPEAKER_07

I mean, that yeah, that's called a library.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_07

Which is amazing.

SPEAKER_03

You're like, Robin, you're not gonna believe it.

SPEAKER_07

They actually have we just invented libraries. Okay. Okay, we cannot prior out.

SPEAKER_03

You show up, you have to like show a card to get in. It's like very exclusive.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, that's true. Um, they'll call it like, yeah. This is gonna be like really powerful.

SPEAKER_03

And then you say it, and there'll be like books everywhere.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, and you can take some home.

SPEAKER_03

With if you have a car if you have a car, like if you're in the car.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, yeah. But you cannot take them home forever. You have to return them after a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you are late, you have a fine. Yeah. What happens is that I bought most of my books from a thrift store. Oh, and they're like secondhand, because I I like taking books that want a second life.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

And so a lot of the books I bought that were very cheap. But they were from discarded libraries, or maybe stolen. But now they have LG donor.

SPEAKER_01

Do you think like that's like us?

SPEAKER_07

Sure. I don't know what that meant, but yes.

SPEAKER_03

Well, we both met each other like kind of in the second half of life.

SPEAKER_07

Well, it was my second two-thirds, let's say.

SPEAKER_03

My second two-thirds? Yeah. Wait, what? Second two-thirds.

SPEAKER_07

What's a second thing? No, my no, my remaining two-thirds. Your remaining two thirds. Not second two-thirds. No second half.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Okay.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Oh, you're gonna be 50.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, and then I'll make it to 140 or something.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, then something we also need to put in the prenup is I would like us both to live to well, me to live to 90, and you're eight years older than me. So you have to live to 90.

SPEAKER_07

What do I have to do if I die first? So if I die first, I have to.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, like what are we putting in the prenup? Oh. Okay, that's a good one.

SPEAKER_07

I have to hunt one of the Westchester houses that we never bought.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, do you have to hunt dunk you have to haunt Dunkin' Donuts anytime they don't have sprinkled munchkins?

SPEAKER_07

Okay, I will scare away every every customer comes in.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, I have an idea. Have you ever heard of 75 Hard?

SPEAKER_07

I was I was there was a joke fired on my mind when you said that. What?

SPEAKER_04

What?

SPEAKER_07

75 Hard?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, have you heard of 75 Hard?

SPEAKER_07

There's like I say men.

SPEAKER_04

75 Hard Men.

SPEAKER_03

Have you heard of 75 Hard Men? Great porno.

SPEAKER_07

No, but yeah. Sounds like a very 80s movie.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my gosh. Okay, so anyway. Okay, so it's like I want to do it for leading up to the wedding. It's 75 days, and it's five things you do for 75 days straight. For 75 days, you have to do a diet, no cheating meals, no cheating days, no alcohol.

SPEAKER_07

No, you're not doing that.

SPEAKER_03

For 75 days, you have to work out, you cannot miss a day, and you have to do two workouts a day.

SPEAKER_07

No. The wedding is stressful enough. And you know what's gonna happen? It's not that you're gonna do it, it's that I am gonna suffer through your 75 and beyond.

SPEAKER_02

So my misery is gonna make you miserable.

SPEAKER_07

I'm not gonna say you're not gonna, I'm gonna say we are not gonna do this to ourselves.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_07

What happened if you don't oh then you start over?

SPEAKER_03

So like that's a you know then then do it.

SPEAKER_07

Like we start every day.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so every day just do it.

SPEAKER_07

Oh yeah, by all means, let's start it. I will join you.

SPEAKER_04

And then every day we do start. That's a way.

SPEAKER_07

We tried 75 hard 75 times.

SPEAKER_02

And we're done.

SPEAKER_07

And we're done.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god, that's really, really funny.

SPEAKER_03

I'm a little tired.

SPEAKER_07

I am very tired. I think we should go back to bed.

SPEAKER_03

Can I say thank you? I'm actually like I'm feeling so much better.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, that's great. I think sitting among books cannot make anyone not feel better.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Especially penis pokey.

SPEAKER_03

Can I just can we read it? It's a quick read. Can I just read it to you before we go to bed?

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Oh, he has a hole.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_07

Once upon a time.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so it's called penis pokey. For those listening, there's a big hole in the center of the book that you're supposed to put something like phallic.

SPEAKER_07

Like what? Fallon? Like.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_07

A cucumber.

SPEAKER_03

There, I I I'm scared people I'm scared. People think I'm making fun of you, but there's just so many words that you say that are so adorable.

SPEAKER_07

Like cucumber.

SPEAKER_03

Cucumber.

SPEAKER_07

Buffalo.

SPEAKER_03

Buffalo. So he's trying to say cucumber and buffalo, but he says it's so cute.

SPEAKER_07

But you know why that is?

SPEAKER_03

Why?

SPEAKER_07

Because I learned English reading.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Yeah, you told me that.

SPEAKER_07

I never I will never have a grammar written mistake in English. Right. But speaking and pronouncing, like every every two words I say one word wrong.

SPEAKER_01

No, that's not true.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, every three words.

SPEAKER_03

Cucumber and buffalo.

SPEAKER_07

Buffalo.

SPEAKER_03

Buffalo. And stripper. You say sitter. Okay. All right. Back to the greatest book of all time. Alright, so it says penis pokey. You're supposed to put something phallic in the hole. I have a microphone that I will put through. Okay.

SPEAKER_07

Okay. Alright.

SPEAKER_03

Alright, here we go.

SPEAKER_07

And now you have. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. So you see? Guys, you're gonna if you're listening, you really do need to go over to YouTube for this. Oh, there's no words.

SPEAKER_07

It's like a hot dog.

SPEAKER_03

See, there's no words. So you just see a man with a hot dog. See, this is supposed to be like the hot dog in a bun.

SPEAKER_07

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

This is supposed to be the banana.

SPEAKER_07

So I didn't need how to need to know how to read to go through the book.

SPEAKER_03

No, no, no. This is the head of a snake.

SPEAKER_07

I mean, saying we are reading a book is a bit of an overstatement.

SPEAKER_03

No, because like babies read board. This could be a kid's book. Well, this cannot be a kid's book. Look a fire hose.

SPEAKER_07

That's your favorite page.

SPEAKER_03

Yep. What's that supposed to be?

SPEAKER_07

Okay, I'm not gonna say what that's supposed to be.

SPEAKER_03

What's that supposed to be?

SPEAKER_07

There's a little a worm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, a worm. Well, there's a lot of nose.

SPEAKER_07

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03

I know you if you're listening, you gotta go over to YouTube. He's riding a penis.

SPEAKER_04

Horse.

SPEAKER_07

Oh my god. And then it says to put your photo up there. It's my favorite.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my gosh, I just realized that they're not going to do it all. No, there's another page.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, you can read it in two modes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my god. A cactus?

SPEAKER_07

A rocket.

SPEAKER_03

A rocket.

SPEAKER_07

Then the little worms.

SPEAKER_03

The worms. I had no clue this was double the amount of reading. A fire hygiene?

SPEAKER_07

Alright.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_07

Well, that was our reading goal for the year.

SPEAKER_03

Yep.

SPEAKER_07

We can check it.

SPEAKER_03

Actually, in in the hard f in 75 hard, you're supposed to read 10 pages a day. Done.

SPEAKER_07

Wow. And tomorrow you can read the same 10 every day.

SPEAKER_03

I'll do the other side, the other pages.

SPEAKER_07

Okay. And then when you don't.

SPEAKER_03

Then I'll read Donkey Shunk.

SPEAKER_07

You'll read what?

SPEAKER_03

Donkey Shunk? What's the name of your book that you like?

SPEAKER_07

Oh, Donkey Shot.

SPEAKER_03

Donkey Shunk.

SPEAKER_07

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Wedding's off. Um, all right, Dr. Pian Man, I love you so much. I love you. The man, the man of my dreams and my reality.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. Alright, but we should go back to dreams.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, let's go back to dreams. Alright. Love you.

SPEAKER_07

I love you.

SPEAKER_03

Alright, and we are back. Wait, did we tell people in the beginning of the episode about getting tickets?

SPEAKER_06

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

And did we tell them to about Patreon?

SPEAKER_06

No.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. If you would like more content, especially behind the scenes or live streams, head over to our Patreon. We have a link down below. It's a lot of fun over there. Just some extra content, depending what tier you get. There's more fun stuff for you. Speaking of, let's call Mama Shaw and get our producer shout-outs and our motherly advice. I look stupid in this hat. No. Even with my ears popping out?

SPEAKER_06

Even with your ears popping out like Dumbo.

unknown

Hey.

SPEAKER_03

Security just called me Dumbo.

SPEAKER_05

No name calling.

SPEAKER_03

Even though you and him call me Picasso sometimes.

SPEAKER_05

But that's affectionately Love for you.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my God. All right. You ready?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Let's do our producer shout-outs.

SPEAKER_05

We want to thank all the Patreons. And I want to give a shout out to those in the producer tier. We have Susan Santoro, Melissa Kirk, Veronica, Deanna, Tamara Fix, and Dr. Piano Man. So I want to thank all our Patreons for their support in the arts and for Robin.

SPEAKER_03

All right, you ready for your motherly advice?

SPEAKER_05

Hi, everyone. Okay. I was just thinking sometimes I know people get up in the middle of the night and they're very anxious or they're thinking about something that has transitioned.

SPEAKER_00

Mom, you know people.

SPEAKER_05

What?

SPEAKER_00

You know people who get up in the middle of the night.

SPEAKER_05

Yes. My daughter. Me.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_05

What sometimes helps me, and which I think might help other people, is if they keep putting but next to their bed, like their journal or something, and you shot down what's what's what's on your mind, what's uh making you anxious, what is troubling you. And sometimes if you write about it and see it and then read it, and you know what, is it it may make you feel better, because now you've you know, sometimes you identified it, and you even might even have a solution or something that you might do to rectify it or make you feel better. So, and then I would say after you feel if you do feel better, try going back to sleep. You might you'd be surprised.

SPEAKER_03

I bet you might fall asleep. It's like getting it out of your head, putting it on paper, so it's not like running away. Look, I uh you know I love journaling, so I'm I think this is great advice, mother.

SPEAKER_05

You know, because I don't want to say wake up the person if you're sleeping with someone. You know, let me tell you what's upsetting me.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I agree.

SPEAKER_05

That might be a nice solution.

SPEAKER_03

You say that, but last night when I couldn't sleep, I started recording the podcast, and Dr. Piano Man came in and he's like, what are you doing? I was like, don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_05

And possibly another thing that you might do is buy tickets to the Wilbur Theater to get a good show. To see a good show.

SPEAKER_03

Mom, you're a great IP woman. I'm excited for I'm excited for New York show, I'm excited for Boston. It's gonna be great.

SPEAKER_05

Oh no, it's gonna be marvelous, it's gonna be so good.

SPEAKER_03

Um, all right. Thanks, Mother, for your motherly advice.

SPEAKER_05

No problem.

SPEAKER_03

All right, love you, mom.

SPEAKER_05

Love you, love you guys.

SPEAKER_03

Bye.

SPEAKER_05

See you at the Wilbur.

SPEAKER_02

She's such a good hype woman. Perfect. Oh, I love her.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, someone commented under YouTube on like two weeks ago's episode. I hear security say Patreon. So did we leave? We must have left in a Patreon. Like, that's so funny. So, for those who don't know, so many times while we're recording, I'll say something, or security will say something that I don't want in the episode, and we both go Patreon, or I'll just go Patreon. And I guess by accident he left it, and that's funny. All right, so if you want to join Patreon, if you want to get tickets to the Wilbur, it's down below. Thank you guys for watching, and uh see you next week when you have no clue what's gonna happen. Not even me.