Episode 37 - Schall We Talk About Conspiracy Theories

Have you ever gone down a conspiracy theory rabbit hole and suddenly found yourself thinking… "Wait… what if?"

That's exactly what happened in this episode. We put on tinfoil hats, debated some of the internet's wildest conspiracy theories, accidentally got way too philosophical, and somehow ended up questioning everything from the moon landing to whether my own mother might actually be an alien.

So... proceed with caution.

In this episode:

• My parents somehow started texting Dr. Piano Man's family in Spanish using Google Translate at 5:45 in the morning... which is somehow more terrifying than any conspiracy theory we covered

• We put on homemade tinfoil hats and rate conspiracy theories from "Debunked" to "Plausible"

• We accidentally fall into a surprisingly deep conversation about the Big Bang, the universe, and why it's kind of incredible that any of us exist at all

• Mama Schall revealing her favorite conspiracy theory... and confirming that she believes my grandfather was from another planet

This episode is ridiculous, completely unserious, surprisingly philosophical, and may permanently change the way you look at me.

Reminder to get your tickets to the Bachelorette Comedy Show in Boston and New York - https://robynschall.com/upcoming-shows/

Totebags and prints on our Etsy Page - https://www.etsy.com/shop/RobynsBookShop

Producer shout-outs: Susan Santoro, Melissa Kirsch, Veronica and Deanna, Tamar Fix, and Dr. Piano Man

Join our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/SchallWeTalk

#SchallWeTalk #ConspiracyTheories #ComedyPodcast #TinFoilHat #Comedy #MamaSchall #PodcastChaos #RobynSchall #YouTubeCreator #PatreonCreator #MoonLanding #FlatEarth #Illuminati #DisneyFrozen #Area51

Transcript

unknown 0:00

Shall we talk?

SPEAKER_03 0:01

Oh, can't you see? This is where you wanna be.

SPEAKER_02 0:06

Hi everyone, welcome back to Shall We Talk. We have such a fun episode planned for today. Today is Tin Hat Conspiracy Theory Day. I found a bunch of conspiracy theories. We are gonna put on our tin foil hats. I already made them and we are going to discuss, debate, and put on a scale how kooky each one is, or maybe some are grounded. I don't know. We'll go through each and every one of them. But first, I want to talk to you about the call I had with my mother this morning. As if I'm not already stressed out, there's a new layer we need to take into consideration. Okay. I call my mom around 9 something, and she's like, hello. And I was like, are you sleeping? She's like, yeah. My mom usually is up by like 6, 6:30. I was like, why are you sleep so late? She's like, oh, well, at like 5:45 a.m., your father got a text from so-and-so, which is, and I said, Wait, so and so, meaning Dr. Piano Man's aunt? And she's like, Yeah. I said, What'd she say? And she goes, Oh, well, it was in Spanish. And she was just telling us how excited she is for September, for the wedding, how she went to the beach. So at 545, your father and I went to the computer, typed it all out, then uh got like translated it, then we wrote back what we wanted to write and then translated it, and then we had to type it into the like she doesn't know how to, like, she doesn't have Google Translate on her phone. Like they had to do everything at 500 on the computer, and then wrote back, and then Dr. Pianman's aunt and my parents were going back and forth in another language. So as if I'm not already stressed that my parents are gonna humiliate me in front of my in-laws, I now have to worry about it being done in a foreign language.

SPEAKER_03 2:01

I'm just picturing mom and dad just trying to type on the phone because I've seen how slow.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

Yeah, and now they're writing in another language. And here's the thing, there's no one checking what they're writing. I don't know what was said to my in-laws. And I was like, Dad, I'm already so stressed. He's like, oh, relax. Like, you're too wound up. But we're just we're talking about the beach. I'm like, what do you mean talking about the beach?

SPEAKER_03 2:28

This is a recipe for disaster.

SPEAKER_02 2:31

I do have to say, I'm thrilled that everyone likes each other. Like, how cool is it that my in-laws and my parents want to talk without me and Dr. Piano Man? Like, I love that. That's not the problem. The problem is my parents talking in Spanish when they don't know Spanish.

SPEAKER_03 2:48

Hueves.

SPEAKER_02 2:49

Huevas. I don't know if you guys remember my dad. We were all with the family in Mallorca, and my dad wanted to ask, do they eat eggs at breakfast? Which is huevos. He said, Do you eat juevas?

SPEAKER_03 3:02

Hueves.

SPEAKER_02 3:04

Wait, so huevos?

SPEAKER_03 3:05

Huevos is eggs.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

Yeah. So he pretty much asked, Do you eat Thursdays for breakfast? So I don't know what was said this morning. Mom and Dad think they talked about the playa. Do you know playa? Yes, very good. But no boy, no.

SPEAKER_03 3:23

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_03 3:25

Especially that I had to help mom and dad for about a good 30 minutes on how to take out the ink cartridge of their printer and put it in the new one.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Mom texted me the other day. I asked how she's doing, and she said, The pool was too cold, so we walked on the boardwalk and dad practiced his speech. We get emotional when he says it. Have you heard his speech?

SPEAKER_03 3:49

No.

SPEAKER_02 3:50

We need well, clearly not. I'm excited. People always ask, like, what's stuff you're like excited about for the wedding. The speeches may be at the top of the list. From yours too. Like from your not, I was gonna say eulogy. From your sermon? What is it called? Like your Yeah, what is it? Monologue. What is it called? Guys, can you comment down below what is it called when the person officiating is doing their lecture?

unknown 4:20

Lecture.

SPEAKER_02 4:21

Okay, anyway, so that was that. How are you?

SPEAKER_03 4:25

I'm good. I'm in focus.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

Oh, if you didn't realize on last week's episode, you do not see security the entire time. If you're listening, you probably don't you don't know this, but for those who watch on YouTube, by the way, if you're watching on YouTube, make sure to like, subscribe, and leave a comment below. What were we talking about? Be in focus. Oh, yeah. So you don't see security for the entire episode. You hear him throughout, but you do you don't see him. Why? Because while we were editing Well, not through the whole thing. Well, the opening and closing. So what we realized when editing, he never put the camera in focus. Because we really upped the production value for season two. So is there never gonna be a season two?

SPEAKER_03 5:06

Oh no, no, no. We're in season three right now. Oh, we are. Oh, yeah. We've been in season. We're actually almost 25 minutes.

SPEAKER_02 5:12

I just heard beep beep.

SPEAKER_03 5:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:16

Memory.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

Is that an old disc?

SPEAKER_03 5:20

Did I not format it?

SPEAKER_02 5:24

Please hold. We have to do the whole thing over. Okay, for the episode sake, if you're watching on Patreon, if this is Patreon's is gonna know. Okay, well, no, because Patreon finds out the day after. Okay, guys, this may seem so chaotic because what happened was as I was telling you guys that last week security didn't have the camera in focus, the other camera ran out of battery. No, space.

SPEAKER_03 5:49

Space.

SPEAKER_02 5:50

Because security forgot to clear it out. Oh, this was all while I was saying we've really upped the production value.

SPEAKER_03 5:55

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 5:57

Alright, we're back on track. All three cameras are recording.

SPEAKER_03 6:00

Yes, and they all have space to record.

SPEAKER_02 6:03

And are they all focused?

SPEAKER_03 6:04

I think so.

SPEAKER_02 6:08

I can I tell you, I know you say this is season three. Can I tell you why they this is season two? I think we need to do season two till we take a break.

SPEAKER_03 6:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:16

Do we want to take off the week after the wedding? Or no, that's when everyone's tuning in.

SPEAKER_03 6:22

Everyone's tuning in. We gotta make like four episodes. Why?

SPEAKER_02 6:24

Okay. So we're not taking so the whole wedding week. Okay, because the week of the wedding, I guess we'll schedule it beforehand to go up. And then the when are we going to I oh what we're gonna do is right after the wedding or morning of wedding, whatever is gonna be the next following week, I say we record it on the phone single camera, so it's easy to edit, and you could edit on the flight home.

SPEAKER_03 6:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

Like it's a one-camera angle.

SPEAKER_03 6:51

That sounds totally doable.

SPEAKER_02 6:52

And then when we get home, we'll do an official episode.

SPEAKER_03 6:55

No, it's a terrible idea. I had a terrible idea to we record at the wedding.

SPEAKER_01 7:05

I like miss like cocktail hour because we're busy recording.

SPEAKER_02 7:09

Not putting that past us because, like, what else do we like doing more than performing? Like, do you know what I mean? Like, my bachelorette party is a comedy show. Speaking of, there are still tickets left for New York and Boston's Bachelorette Party comedy show. Guys, this is going to be it's a bachelorette party. It's a comedy show. It's a great time. Get your tickets. I'm telling you, these are not shows to miss. I want to get into the conspiracy theories. All right, so I uh just looked up a couple of conspiracy theories. I will read each one and then we will dissect. Let's put on our tin hats and get to it. Okay, now I have to say, I love a good conspiracy theory. Now, me and my mom and security love them. Can you guess the two people who don't buy into conspiracy theories? Dr. Piano Man and Papa Shaw. They're so not fun.

SPEAKER_04 8:01

No.

SPEAKER_02 8:02

Hold on, I'm trying to think. If you and Dr. Piano Man got into a fight, whose side would I take?

SPEAKER_03 8:08

Same side I would take. His.

SPEAKER_02 8:16

Like you're fighting with him and you're like, I'm so mad and I'm taking your side.

SPEAKER_03 8:21

You know what? You're right. You're right in this whole situation.

SPEAKER_02 8:25

That's such a huge thing. This is why security is so annoying. Because if you fight with him, they'll just go, okay, you're right. And then he's like, no. All right, should we get into the first conspiracy theory? Let's go. So this is what I'm gonna do. I'm going to read the conspiracy theory, and then we will, I guess, discuss each one and decide where we land. Ooh, this one is so controversial. The moon landing was fake. Some people believe the 1969 Apollo 11 moon landing wasn't actually filmed on the moon, but instead was staged in a movie studio by the US government to win the space race. Okay, so also the flag appears to wave where the American flag seems to ripple, even though there's no wind on the moon. There aren't any stars in the sky. Photos from the moon show a black sky with no visible stars. Shadows point in different directions. Some think the lighting looks like multiple studio lights instead of sunlight. Mainstream explanation. Scientists say the flag moved because of inertia. What's that?

SPEAKER_01 10:05

Inertia.

SPEAKER_02 10:07

The stars were invisible due to camera exposure, and the shadows are explained by perspective and uneven. Okay. Okay. Let me say both arguments and then I'll tell you where I stand. So I have watched the video. So some other arguments is like people are like, okay, we watch his first step onto the moon. Who set up the camera and tripod? Like, you know, and then they were saying the the, you know, flag is moving, there's no wind in space. And then they're saying in the pictures, you don't see the stars. Like, all of these things are so valid. Okay, this is why I know this is not a conspiracy theory. This is garbage. And it's because no one can keep a secret. Okay. If this was fake, it would be out. It would be out by now. If not by like the US government, other countries would call us out. Like, okay, America, you weren't the first ones there. Like, obviously, like too many countries don't get along for this lie to like keep up. So I'm just gonna start there that there's no way multiple governments have been able to keep this secret if it was fake. Two, another reason why I don't think it was fake is because all those things have been explained. Like with the stars that like the exposure on cameras can't pick it up. With the who set up the tripod, they're saying there wasn't a tripod. Have you heard this? It was a like arm extension on the spaceship that was taking the picture, not a tripod. Like every single thing has been explained. And I just think we just we would. And if you like some people's argument, is like, well, then why haven't we been back? We have been back. We've been back many times. It's just when it comes to humans, the amount of money it costs to keep humans safe out in space. Like every single thing wants to kill humans out in space, from the pressure to the radiation to this, this, this, this, that it costs so much money. I only know this because Dr. Piano Man said all this. This is like I'm being carriaged.

SPEAKER_03 12:23

It sounds like Dr. Piano Man.

SPEAKER_02 12:25

He's like, he's like, Do you know how many things you have to put in place for humans to survive? He goes, We've sent many like robots and spaceships, like things have gone back, but for humans to go back, it is so expensive, and the cost of risk is is so high. And so that's why it's taken so long to send humans back. So I'm debunking this conspiracy theory. I think we have been to the moon.

SPEAKER_03 12:51

Well, I just know I've heard that it would cost more money back then to set it all up, to pay off people and all that. Yeah, it's cheaper to just go to just go to the moon.

SPEAKER_02 13:03

Also, the reason why Irish Security and I know is because like we went to NASA and like we actually saw the rocks that they brought back. And I know you could be like that could be fake.

SPEAKER_03 13:13

From the backyard.

SPEAKER_02 13:16

Like, there's just no way, like, that all these people would be like keeping up this lie. Like this, it's just it's just not. Okay. Next.

SPEAKER_03 13:27

Oh, can we like put a stamp like debunked?

SPEAKER_02 13:29

Yeah, yeah. Are we debunking or are we just discussing?

SPEAKER_03 13:34

We figured it out.

SPEAKER_02 13:36

All right. Oh, this is interesting. Disney named the movie Frozen Frozen to hide from people googling Disney's frozen head.

SPEAKER_04 13:48

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 13:49

So, like when people type it, because what happened was people think Disney, like Walt Disney froze his head. And so they named the movie Frozen Frozen, so that if people write in like Walt Disney Frozen, the movie would pop up and not the conspiracy that he froze his head. A lot of people think it's real. Search results completely changed after the movie came out. The timing seems convenient. I mean, here's the thing. Yeah, it's possible. Like, who knows? Like, super rich people are weird. Like, they they have all the money in the world. Is my hat falling apart? No. Okay. Super rich people have all the money in the world. So, like, yeah, I could see this guy saying, Yeah, let's freeze me. Oh, wait, can you freeze yourself? Is that a thing?

SPEAKER_03 14:37

You can.

SPEAKER_02 14:38

Okay, so then yeah, he's frozen. And then they name the movie Frozen so that I can't Google this. What?

SPEAKER_03 14:44

But you think Walt Disney frozen his own head.

SPEAKER_02 14:47

I'm just saying it's plausible. Okay. Why just his head and not the rest of his body?

SPEAKER_03 14:53

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 14:55

I feel like he may have frozen his whole self so that like when the science catches up to bring it back to life, they bring him back to life. Are you sure? I feel like security.

SPEAKER_03 15:05

Now it did. Now it did.

SPEAKER_01 15:09

How am I supposed to come up with the aliens will take my brain? Is this the weirdest episode?

SPEAKER_03 15:17

Oh, this is, I think, is up there as one of the weirdest. But there are conspiracy theory podcasts.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

When we were kids, we used to play a make-believe uh game called Show, where we'd like, it'd be our our it'd be this. We were doing this when we were children. There was just no cameras recorded.

SPEAKER_03 15:37

Oh, are we debunking that?

SPEAKER_02 15:39

Oh no, I think it's very plausible.

SPEAKER_03 15:41

You think it's real that he froze his head and they made it called frozen.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

I'm just saying it's plausible. It's not saying what I think it is. I'm just saying, yeah, someone that money, I could totally see him freezing himself for like future, like hopefully could bring him back. Like that what his thoughts are, and I could see them saying, let's name the movie this so that people can't look it up. Yeah, I am saying this is very plausible. Plausible. Next. All right, I've never heard this conspiracy theory, but Denver International Airport is a secret Illuminati headquarters. If you don't know what the Illuminati is, it's like the richest people in the world having like their own little group and they control everything on the planet. Okay. I think the conspiracy theory here is is there an Illuminati? Do you think there's an Illuminati?

SPEAKER_03 16:33

Well, if I was in it, I can't tell you.

SPEAKER_02 16:35

See, you're there, you're definitely not in it.

SPEAKER_03 16:38

Why?

SPEAKER_02 16:39

One, you don't have money.

SPEAKER_03 16:41

I knew it. I knew that's what you're calling.

SPEAKER_01 16:44

You don't have brains and you don't have power. Oh, you have to go see the wizard. You need you need money, brains, and power.

SPEAKER_03 16:52

But I got courage.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

Do you?

SPEAKER_03 16:55

No. You got humor, you got a good heart, and a great sister.

SPEAKER_02 17:06

Okay, I think there is stupid hat. We both have our hats, they are so stupid. Okay. I do think there's an Illuminati. I do think there's probably about like 50 people that are controlling everything. And I think all these like world wars and all this is all garbage, and it's 50 people deciding everything. Like, I just think there's just like 50 people who like decide, okay, these are gonna be the leaders, these are gonna be the or may and the leaders may not even know. Like, oh my god, I almost asked who's president right now. I think the tin foil hat is making aliens not come, and that's why I didn't know. Oh he's an alien. Maybe Trump's an alien, and that's why in this hat I couldn't think of him. Oh cuckoo, cuckoo. Okay, I think it's all fake, it's all garbage.

SPEAKER_03 18:01

I'm just nervous gonna be a knock at the door.

SPEAKER_02 18:04

Oh, because we've really hit on something.

SPEAKER_03 18:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:07

I just wanted to scare the listeners. The YouTube people saw that. Ah, they're here. Okay. We have to block Dr. Piano, man. He cannot watch this episode. No. The problem is he sometimes watches them before I wake up. Because you know how it airs at midnight? Yeah. Sometimes by the time I wake up, he's already listened.

SPEAKER_03 18:26

Should I program it so that it wait it like goes live at 7 a.m.?

SPEAKER_02 18:31

Like when we know he's in the car.

SPEAKER_03 18:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:34

Okay, that's not a bad idea. Yeah, he can't hear this. No, he's gonna cancel the wedding. We haven't called off the wedding in a while. We used to call it off like once a day. Me, me, security, and Dr. Piano Man are in a group chat called like wedding planning, right? Wedding chat?

SPEAKER_03 18:51

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

I don't know. But like when one of us is in a bad mood, we call off the wedding. Not like with each other. Like like like I'll be like, I'm nauseous, I'm calling off the wedding, but we haven't called it off in a while. I'm I think it's I think that it's plausible.

SPEAKER_03 19:04

I think I I definitely think that it's plausible. Plausible. But are they located in the Denver airport? Nah, that's garbage. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 19:13

Yeah. Debunked. Okay. The earth is flat. I feel like I can't even pretend to take the other side. No, let's take the other side, because there may be someone watching who feels the earth is flat. So this is some people believe the earth is flat and the government and scientists are hiding the truth. Why do people feel this way? The horizon always looks flat, and they argue that this should look. They don't trust photos from space. Water always finds its life. I'm sorry, none of these are good arguments.

SPEAKER_03 19:48

None of them are.

SPEAKER_02 19:51

Believers claim Antarctica surrounds the edge of the earth and government keep people away. That Antarctica is not at is like the end. And that's why they people keep people away from Antarctica.

SPEAKER_03 20:02

What's under us then?

SPEAKER_02 20:04

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_03 20:05

Like if the earth is a flat, like a disc, then what's under it?

SPEAKER_02 20:10

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_03 20:10

A turtle? Like like holding it up? Like, well, it's a disc. It's obvious a flat disc. What's under it? What do you mean?

SPEAKER_02 20:17

Like what's on what's on this side? Nothing. Dirt.

SPEAKER_03 20:20

Just dirt?

SPEAKER_02 20:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:22

That's it?

SPEAKER_02 20:22

That's your argument for why it's circle? I think it's circle because Wait, what do you mean circle?

SPEAKER_03 20:32

It's not a circle, it's a globe.

SPEAKER_02 20:35

Yeah, and that's circ but that's circular.

SPEAKER_03 20:38

Circular.

SPEAKER_02 20:40

Well, so is that.

SPEAKER_03 20:43

It might be really making us dumber.

SPEAKER_01 20:46

Like, I'm having trouble thinking right.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

Like, I feel high. Yeah. Wait, these hats work. Wait, guys, if you want to not think, put on a tin foil hat. It really stops your brain from working.

SPEAKER_03 20:57

Oh, Dr. Pianiman has turned us off.

SPEAKER_02 21:00

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, he's never talking to me ever again after this episode. Okay, but at least he'll be proud of me that I don't think the earth is flat and that I know we went to the moon.

SPEAKER_03 21:11

Debunked.

SPEAKER_02 21:12

All right. Next conspiracy theory. We're gonna need some good music. When you're editing this, can we make this fun? And can we like remove all sound from me? Okay, we are living in a simulation. This theory suggests our universe is actually an advanced computer simulation created by future civilization. So like this isn't real that like a future civilization, this is all computer, and we're just living in like simulation.

SPEAKER_03 21:45

Well, if you think about it, that's what your manifestation is. For all you know, your manifestation ideas is you like hacking the computer.

SPEAKER_02 21:55

Oh, I saw something. I'm totally gonna butcher it. I saw it online, I don't know what the exact quote. Was but it was talking about like manifestation, and it's like the things you're manifesting you want it so bad because in the future you already have it, so it's like you missing it because you like you your future you know how great it is and knows what it wants, so it's already happened. You're just right now missing that feeling because in another realm you have it. That I believe. Yep. I don't think we're in a simulation, like I don't think we're in a computer. I do think though, I the other day asked Dr. Piano Man to explain what the F the Big Bang is. Have you do you know what it is? It's a show on CPS. Do you know what it is? Yeah. What do you think the Big Bang is?

SPEAKER_03 22:47

The Big Bang is the creation of the universe.

SPEAKER_02 22:49

No, no, I know. We I I know, but what like what is it?

SPEAKER_03 22:52

I wasn't there.

SPEAKER_02 22:53

I so like I'm like, was it Spark? Was it the collapsing? Like, what was it? And he like went into detail of like what the theory remember, like not yes. Here's what I could tell you, because it's way too long of an explanation. The odds of us being here are insane. Like, that's what's so crazy. The fact, this is guys, guys, if you're listening, do you know how insane it is that we're here? The Big Bang is something, right? Like it's and then from that, like an atom attached to something, which then like over time made a universe, and then in that made the sun and made the plat blah blah blah blah. And then over billions of years, like the earth formed, and then over billions of years, like an an atom created a thingy that made a thingy, that made a thingy, that made a thingy, that made a thingy, that made a an organism that made a thingy that made a thingy, then made a thingy, that made a fish, that made a thingy, that made a thingy, made a thingy. I'm sorry, all this is so insane. It's actually, I will never look down on anyone who just says, oh, God, Adam and Eve, because that to me that's actually so much more plausible that like a man in the sky created two people. Like, cause the science aspect of it is so incredible. Now, here's the thing. I personally believe, I mean, I believe in God, but like I believe in the science of it. I believe in the Big Bang and that just billions of years all of this happened. But the odds for all of that being and for then humans to come about, and then for us to be like, it's it's insane. I will never complain ever again. That's it. You guys are hearing it. I'm going on record. I will never complain again because it is such an effing miracle that we exist as a species and that this earth is here and the moon and the stars. Like it is so like the stars security.

SPEAKER_03 24:52

Did I just realize I'm a mushrooms? No. Well, I was saying, if you ever pulled the crime off right now, like did like did a really bad crime and you're at court, you can plead insanity and just show this episode.

SPEAKER_02 25:06

This is the this episode should be off the deep end. Yeah. We went effing insane. Let me tell you what. So this is behind the scenes info. This should have been exclusive for Periscope, but we'll let you go. Not Periscope. This is behind the scenes that we'll let everyone in. Two days ago, Security and I sat down and I said, Security, you've been so negative lately. And he said, Robin, you've been so negative lately. And I said, That's it. We're cutting it out. When I see you next, we're both bringing back to being our like happy, like like loving life selves. And I think we actually have committed too hard to that.

SPEAKER_03 25:47

Yeah. I 100% agree.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

Like one of us needs to say, This is stupid, get back to reality. But I think we just missed being happy that we're just diving into this episode.

SPEAKER_03 26:00

Oh, I'm excited. I'm loving it. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 26:02

And I don't care if everyone turns this episode off. I'm enjoying it.

SPEAKER_03 26:05

Me too.

SPEAKER_02 26:08

Look at your is it really falling apart? It's going off to the side. Is it not doing well?

SPEAKER_03 26:14

No, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

SPEAKER_02 26:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 26:16

You look great.

SPEAKER_02 26:17

Simulation. I'm gonna say debunk.

SPEAKER_03 26:19

Debunked.

SPEAKER_02 26:21

Next. Oh, this one I'm I'm leaning towards. Parents secretly love the middle child the least.

SPEAKER_03 26:32

So go, let's hear it. Let's hear it.

SPEAKER_02 26:38

That because of the placement of order, usually the oldest makes the parents parents, so they love that child, and then the last child they know is going to be their last baby, so they have an extra special space in their heart for them. That the middle child is loved a little less. And there's scientific studies that prove this is true. When they've threatened to kill the middle child, usually parents.

SPEAKER_01 27:05

This is all fake. Okay, that was a joke. I'm kidding. That's fake. That was fake.

SPEAKER_03 27:11

It's funny. When you first started, I'm like, okay, this is a joke. And then when you started talking, I was like, okay, this is real.

SPEAKER_02 27:19

Well, can I say something? What I just said, I made that up, but that's actually probably really true. The first child makes the parent a parent. So they probably have like a very special place in their heart for that kid. And then the youngest will be their last baby. And so they have a special place in their heart.

SPEAKER_03 27:35

Why even like Because they know, okay, I don't have to try so hard. It's gonna make my life so much easier. I love this kid because I don't have to try that hard.

SPEAKER_02 27:46

That's why you turned out obviously I'm joking. Middle child children are wonderful.

SPEAKER_03 27:53

I have a conspiracy theory. Oh, tell me. That we're actually in the 1700s. That they think that in 630 AD, the leaders wanted to be leaders at the turn of the century, so they took made the calendar 300 years forward, saying, Oh, it's the year thousand.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

I buy that. I could buy anything about like time being made up, like across the board, because now we know it's 365 days around the sun. But back then they didn't know. So in the documents, things could have like they're saying, oh, maybe like this emperor was this age, but they don't actually know.

SPEAKER_03 28:34

Correct.

SPEAKER_02 28:35

So yeah, I think time's made up. Plausible. Alright, I just realized something. We never told mom that we were doing an episode today.

SPEAKER_03 28:44

Oh, she'd love this episode. She's gonna love this episode.

SPEAKER_02 28:46

This is gonna be her favorite episode. I'm gonna go on recording.

SPEAKER_03 28:49

People that like conspiracy theories, this is gonna be their favorite episode.

SPEAKER_02 28:53

We did not do a good job discussing. Yes, we did. Okay. Alright, should we should we wrap this up? This hat's making me so stupid.

SPEAKER_03 29:02

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 29:03

I've I'm sorry, guys, if you had faith in us over the last few years and you're like, well, uh, can you please comment below? Did you no, just comment below if you like the episode.

SPEAKER_03 29:12

And I wonder what conspiracy theory's mom has.

SPEAKER_02 29:15

Yeah. Okay, we'll find out Mama Shaw's conspiracy theories. All right, now let's call Mama Shaw, get our producer shout-outs. If you'd like to become a producer on the podcast or just be a Patreon, the link is down below. Every Friday we do behind the scenes. Last week we just had our monthly live stream, which is always so much fun. And producers, you are a producer of the podcast, and you get special perks such as get to come to the Boston or New York for free. You got to sit in on a live stream of me and Dr. Piano Man working on our play. There's all these little perks that the producers get. And just uh being a Patreon, you're supporting Robin and the arts. I took Mama Shaw's line. All right, let's call Mama Shaw and get her conspiracy theory or motherly advice. I actually don't know what she's doing. Do you?

SPEAKER_03 30:04

No clue.

SPEAKER_00 30:07

Hello, Bob?

SPEAKER_02 30:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:09

Hi.

SPEAKER_00 30:10

Hi, wait one second, I gotta get everything off.

SPEAKER_01 30:13

Okay. Get everything up.

SPEAKER_00 30:16

Hi. She doesn't edit out things, so he's gonna be on here.

SPEAKER_01 30:24

Who are you talking to?

SPEAKER_00 30:26

Carla.

SPEAKER_01 30:27

Oh, tell her I say hi.

SPEAKER_00 30:30

She can hear you.

SPEAKER_01 30:31

Hi, Carla.

SPEAKER_00 30:33

But I wanted to see you. I thought I was looking at the phone thinking seeing you.

SPEAKER_02 30:40

Oh okay. All right, mom, you ready for your producer shout-outs? Yes, I'm ready.

SPEAKER_00 30:46

Tell me when.

SPEAKER_01 30:47

Oh, now.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

Okay, we want to thank all the Patreons, and I want to give a shout out to those in the producers here. We have Susan Santoro, Alyssa Kirch, Veronica, and Deanna, Tamar Fix, and Dr. Piano Man. I want to thank all the Patreons and for supporting Robin and the arts.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

That was great. Okay, so mom, today's episode is conspiracy theories. All right, so what's your favorite conspiracy?

SPEAKER_00 31:23

That your grandfather, my father, is from another planet.

SPEAKER_02 31:29

But I feel like that's not a conspiracy as much as a fact.

SPEAKER_00 31:32

Well, we don't call it. We don't know it's a fact.

SPEAKER_02 31:39

Oh, I am so positive. I've actually never been more sure of anything in my life that my grandfather is an alien and my mother is 50% alien.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

Oh, okay. That makes you a quarter alien.

SPEAKER_02 31:55

Yes, I'm a quarter alien. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 31:58

And I'm suspicious of drones.

SPEAKER_02 32:01

Oh, like the drones over Jersey?

SPEAKER_00 32:04

Yes. Why were they flying over Jersey? The airport.

SPEAKER_02 32:11

Why? Are you wearing your tinfoil hat? We had our tinfoil hat. We shouldn't have we should have kept it on.

SPEAKER_00 32:18

Wait, I got another one. Okay. Why do they always do I said with all the alarms when I go through metal detectors?

SPEAKER_02 32:30

And there's no metal in me. Oh, because you think like your blood is alien, sets off the alarms?

SPEAKER_00 32:38

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 32:39

Remember we I forgot where we went to one of the airports and they touched your vagina. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 32:48

Colin is laughing here. What did it happen?

SPEAKER_03 32:53

This is the where the Piana Man really turns off the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 32:59

You have an alien vagina.

SPEAKER_00 33:04

Wait, and don't you remember? Oh security was there. And I said to the lady who was um wanding me that was if my son is taking a video of this for Patreon.

SPEAKER_01 33:26

If you want footage, there was security talk of his mother getting her alien vagina wanted at the airport, join Patreon. Link is down below.

SPEAKER_00 33:37

Well, I would that's why I wouldn't go into a room. I wanted to make sure that everyone saw him in the airport.

SPEAKER_01 33:48

This is the funniest episode we've ever had. Okay. All right. Do you have any motherly advice or you want to leave it on that?

SPEAKER_00 33:56

Oh, my motherly advice is buy some tickets to the Boston show or the New York show at the City Winery.

SPEAKER_02 34:05

Okay, Mom, that was actually such great advice. I couldn't have thought of anything better myself.

SPEAKER_00 34:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 34:12

All right, go have fun with Carla.

SPEAKER_00 34:14

Okay, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 34:16

I love you.

SPEAKER_00 34:17

Love you too. And love all the kids.

SPEAKER_02 34:19

All right, bye. I'm gonna end on one last conspiracy. I don't think my grandfather was an alien. I think aliens impregnated my grandmother with my mom. I actually think my mother is full alien. And she like jokes that, oh, maybe it was her father. No, she's full alien. And both her parents were humans. She's full alien. I'm half. And I'm like so positive about it. Plausible. Alright, guys, thank you for watching. Get tickets to your show. Join Patreon. But more than anything, no, I appreciate you guys being here so much, watching, listening. It means everything to me. I have so much fun. I will see you next week when you have no clue what's gonna happen. Not even me.