Visibility Without Abandoning Yourself

In this episode, Rachel shares a conversation that sparked a deeper reflection about what it actually means to show up online as a female solopreneur.

From inappropriate DMs to the pressure to appear more "marketable," visibility online can come with challenges that people don’t talk about very often. Rachel talks openly about those realities and shares the boundaries she has put in place to protect her time, energy, and well‐being. 

The goal is that you show up so authentically as yourself that the right people recognize you right away when they see you.

Connect with Rachel
Learn more about Rachel’s work helping teachers build sustainable private teaching businesses: The Private Practice Teacher®

Chapters
00:00 The Unique Challenges of Female Solopreneurs
02:20 Navigating Inappropriate Interactions Online
04:06 The Shift Towards Authenticity in Content Creation
05:20 Building Relatability with Your Audience
08:15 The Importance of Personal Connection in Business
10:12 Establishing Trust and Authenticity
14:03 Attracting Your Ideal Clients
18:01 Common Mistakes in Branding and Visibility

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to the Teacher to Entrepreneur Podcast. I'm your host, Rachel Siccioni, former classroom teacher turned entrepreneur and mentor to educators building their own unique teacher businesses. This is a space for teachers who are curious about alternatives to the classroom, exploring private practice and other multifaceted work, and for those who want to know what success can look like beyond the classroom. I'm glad you're here. Now let's get into today's conversation. My massage therapist is also a solopreneur and a small business owner. And she shared something with me that really stuck and ties directly into what I want to talk about today. So she and I were talking about what it's like to show up online or in the online space as a female solopreneur. Now, before I go any further, I want to acknowledge that part of today's episode is going to exclude a portion of the teaching population. And for that, I'm sorry. I sincerely wish we had more men in teaching, but the reality right now is that teaching is still a predominantly female profession. Around 80% of teachers are women. And in my own experience, working with my mentorship clients, only about one out of every 20 teachers who come to me is a man. So the experiences I'm going to share about today are experiences that I've had personally and experiences that many women in this space share. And there are some challenges that show up differently for female entrepreneurs, and I think that we need to talk about them. So during my massage this morning, I asked my therapist if her client book was full or if she was accepting new clients, because I have people I would absolutely refer to her. And she said that she is accepting new clients, which is great news if you happen to be in or around the Lancaster, Pennsylvania area, because she is phenomenal. But she explained that part of the reason it's taken her longer to fill her client book is because she has had so many inappropriate clients that she's had to make it harder for new clients to schedule with her. Unfortunately, because of the nature of her work, that is a safety issue for her. And it makes her particularly vulnerable to these types of interactions. And the whole thing really got me thinking. Because while teaching isn't the same type of intimate work, and we can even be doing it online, teaching in line and not teaching face to face. So we don't necessarily have the same safety concerns that a massage therapist would have. But it made me reflect on something that I've experienced at times as a female entrepreneur. And it's the inappropriate interactions that come with being visible online. And the way that those interactions cost us both time and money. Because as a solopreneur, time is money. As an entrepreneur, time is money. And both are finite resources. Additionally, entrepreneurship is not the only hat that most of us wear. Many of us are also parents and partners. We have families to care for, both older relatives and our younger children. We have friends and we have our own personal interests and lives. And I don't know anybody who goes through the trouble of starting a business because they want to surrender their entire life to it. So our time is precious. And unfortunately, being visible online does open the door to some behaviors that are frustrating at best, deeply inappropriate at worst, and that do waste our precious time and money. Right now, with the rise of AI and automated content, something interesting is happening. And I'm finding it across platforms. People are craving real human connection. And in a lot of ways, that's a good thing. We want the content that we consume to feel human. We want it to be a little bit raw and a little bit messy and a little bit imperfect. Content that feels human, a little raw, a little messy, a little imperfect is performing better than polished content. And that used to just be on TikTok. I mean, we that was one of the things that we liked on TikTok. I remember a couple of years ago, we used to have to differentiate our content for the different platforms. So Instagram liked things to be a little bit more polished. Facebook lent itself to more casual interaction, more informative interaction. And TikTok was definitely the like talking direct to camera, not always had to having to be the best polished content. We liked that one to be a little bit more raw. But what I'm finding now because of AI and all of the automated content is that we're craving that type of really human and imperfect content across all platforms. And in a lot of ways, for those of us who are not graphic designers and we're not digital media professionals, it is good news because I am not a graphic designer. I am a French teacher and a small business owner. And creating a perfectly aesthetic social media post would take me forever. And the good news is that people aren't looking for that anymore, especially not when they are looking for a service provider. When they're looking to work with someone more than a beautiful, polished aesthetic, they're looking for relatability. Now, for me personally, my ideal client is tired teachers, teachers who still love teaching, but not under the conditions they're currently working in. And those teachers don't look like runway models in their daily lives. Even in the classroom, they're tired and sometimes they say the wrong thing. And sometimes they look a little exhausted because teaching is exhausting. So when I show up online as an imperfect human being who occasionally fumbles for words and looks a little tired, that actually helps my ideal client see themselves in me. Not necessarily where they are right now, but where they could be. And that relatability matters. One of the types of content that I see trending right now across multiple platforms is the kind of content that looks like you're talking to your best friend on FaceTime. I was just talking about this recently in a feedback I recorded for one of my mentorship clients. When we think about our ideal client avatar, it helps to give that person a name. Even better if that person is based on someone we know in real life. So, for example, in my business, when I was creating the private practice teacher, I was thinking about my teacher bestie Desiree. And so whenever I get online to talk, to record any like video face-to-face, and even when I'm writing my newsletters, I'm writing it for Desiree. I'm writing to Desiree. Not only does that help me with my nerves, because I wouldn't get nervous to get on a phone call to talk to my best friend, but it also helps it to feel more personal, to feel like I'm talking to somebody. And then anybody who shares characteristics with Desiree can relate to what I'm saying and they can feel like they are also being talked to personally as a person. So for example, in my teaching business, imagine that your ideal student is a student named Joey. You know Joey and the challenges that he's having in school, and you know what would help him. And if you were talking to Joey's parents, Ben and Susie, you might say something along the lines of, hey, Susie, hey, Ben, I know Joey's really been struggling with this. And I think I have something that could help him build his understanding of this content better and build his confidence and help him achieve these goals that he has or that you have for him. And if you've actually met those parents, it would be much easier to imagine that conversation and pretend that you are actually talking to them. And again, when you record videos speaking like that, like you're leaving a video message for them, it's going to resonate with anyone and everyone who has a child like Joey. But if you try to talk to everyone or you try to talk to this nameless, faceless person, it's not going to resonate with anyone. Because just like in the classroom, from time to time, our darling audience is not always engaged or invested in what we have to say. They're zoning out or they're thinking about other things. And on social media, most people are there to be either entertained or to be diverted, to have their attention away from something else. They're not fully engaged. And so if you want to get their attention on there, you have to call them out. And you have to call them out almost by name. And if you are talking to an actual person, you are much more likely to get their attention that way than if you're talking to a vague group. Vague messages don't land with anyone. And here's another challenge that we have. And it kind of goes back even more to my massage therapist friend. As solopreneurs, we cannot be nameless, faceless businesses. We can't just put up our business logo as our profile picture. And as a female entrepreneur, that comes with some specific challenges. I have not heard my male entrepreneurs having this challenge or necessarily having it bother them as much as it bothers my female entrepreneur friends and clients. When you put a photo of yourself up as a female, you are opening yourself up to getting those types of DMs that are the hey beautiful, hey darling types of DMs. And I have noticed that in the five and a half years I've been in the online space, that while the tactics have changed, the quantity and frequency has not. And it's frustrating and it's sometimes offensive. But unfortunately, because of the climate of today, we really can't afford to be a faceless, nameless brand. We have to show up as a person because what we're craving is personal connection. And people want to work with people. Before we ever invest money into working with someone, or before someone invests money in working with you, you need to build know, like, and trust. I'm sure you've heard other people talking about this in this whole like business coaching, business mentorship space. And that means that they need to know who you are, they need to hear your voice, they need to see your face, and they need to understand why you do what you do. And they need to understand what exactly it is that you do. That means that you have to share enough of who you are professionally that they feel like they know you, that they have enough information that they can decide whether or not they like you and whether or not they trust you. So when someone finally gets on a free consultation call with me, either as a mentor or a new student interview with me as a teacher, they need to feel like they already have an idea of who Rachel is as a person, who I am. And they already have an idea of whether or not they want to work with me. And so that means that I have to show up authentically. And that visibility, unfortunately, means opening the door to scammers and people who have other intentions when they engage with us. And sadly, it's inconsiderate, it wastes our time, which again is money. And it does slow down our business. So here's how I deal with it. When the first thing I do when someone reaches out to me in the DMs is check their profile, male or female, I check to see what information I can get about them from their profile. And I do that for a couple reasons. One, if they have in their profile that they're a teacher, then I'm not going to ask them, are you a teacher? I don't want to insult them by asking them a question I already know the answer to, that they've already shared publicly. The other thing though is I can check how old the account is, because a lot of scammer accounts don't have a lot of what I call depth of presence. So while they might have a lot of posts, back in the day, they probably only had like five to eight posts. And you could tell pretty quickly that they had all been posted within the last 48 hours. They've gotten smarter. So now you'll probably see a whole page worth of posts. You might have to scroll a little bit to see when the first post was published. And that and we might also see that their account has been established for a week before they start reaching out. Also, I look at the type of content that they post. Do they look like a real human being with a variety of interests? Because the scammer accounts, they don't have a lot of variety in their themes of their posting. It's just a couple of two or three things that they really want to drive home. Once you encounter a couple of them, they do get pretty easy to spot. But they have reached out to me, unless I can definitely spot that they're a scammer and just block them and delete them. Like I said, they are getting better and better. I do stay professional and I will respond. Years ago, they used to start right out with a hey, gorgeous. Now they kind of ask you about your business. If it's obvious that this is a business account, they will ask you about your business. How long have you been teaching? What do you teach? So I stay professional, kind, welcoming, open, but always professional. And if someone deviates from that or the tone shifts or the conversation begins to become inappropriate, I bring it right back to the professionalism and I do it by saying something very directly like, thank you for the compliment. However, that is not the nature of this page or this relationship. My appearance has no bearing on my ability to perform the function of my job. Would you like to know more about my products and services? Most of the time, that ends the conversation immediately. And honestly, that's fine. Because if someone cannot respect that boundary in a DM, they are definitely not someone that I'm willing to work with or that I want to work with. And I tell my mentees this all the time: you did not create a business so that you could dread showing up for your clients. If you see red flags before the consultation even happens, listen to your gut. And this brings me to my next point. There's something else that this conversation brings up for me, something powerful to this conversation of being yourself fully and authentically and being seen that way online. And it reminds me of something that I tell my daughters now that they are 10 and 13, and something that I used to tell my high school students a lot too. If you want to attract your people, then you need to be so authentically yourself that they can recognize you when they see you. And it's true in business. And that's true in business too. Your key differentiator is you. No one else can do what you do the way that you do it. No one else can reach the students that you are uniquely capable of reaching by virtue of who you are and how you do what you do. And when you lean into that authenticity, something really powerful does happen. Your people find you. They love working with you, they get incredible results because of how much they enjoy working with you. And then they tell everyone what a great experience it was. Anyone that would listen, that could be interested, anyone who expresses an interest in the type of service that you provide, your clients will become your biggest fans. And they will tell, they will talk about you. And word of mouth is still the most powerful marketing that exists. We can take the time on all of these online platforms and email marketing and all of the online marketing that we do, but with the understanding that it is a long game. Much of it is free or relatively low cost, and we can do it in ways that were not possible before. And I think it's absolutely worth the time to do. However, you do have to keep in mind that it is the long game. And we need to get those first couple of clients who will become our biggest fans, who will talk about us. And that's when everything starts to catch fire and really start to build. And so, yes, we are going to use social media to build brand awareness. And the way that we do that is by showing up as ourselves authentically and showing how we're different and by calling out our ideal clients directly as we can by thinking of the people that we actually know who are our ideal clients and speaking directly to them. And yes, search engine optimization matters. Platforms like YouTube and Pinterest are wonderful because they're searchable and people can discover you. And I do recommend using multiple platforms. With my clients, we build slowly, like well, teach them about each different platform and how to show up there. And then when that becomes easier, then we start cross-posting. And when that becomes easier, then we start, you know, reaching out to different platforms because that is going to take a lot of your time in the beginning when you're building your business. But the best marketing is still human-to-human referrals. When we shop online, we look at the reviews. We want to know what actual people have to say about it. And it's because of that human element. You have your own referrals, you have your testimonials, you have students that you have worked with that love working with you. And you'll want to put those testimonials on your social media because when they're just scrolling and you have said something that grabs their attention, they're like, oh, wait, that sounds like me. And they go back and they listen to it again. And then they go to your profile and then they see testimonials, they're going to click on them. That's kind of how that whole area functions. And then they're going to start doing a deep dive, going down a rabbit hole on your profile and learning more about you and what you have to do. And that's how you build a no-like and trust. But like I said, that is a long game. But when you have a couple of clients and they are talking about you, and they'll say things like, you have to work with this person, they were so incredible. That's the marketing that builds your sustainable business. And that's the kind of marketing that only happens when you show up as the most real and authentic version of yourself, not something that you have watered down, not something that you think makes you more marketable, the real you. And so here is probably one of the most common mistakes that I see. And before we wrap up, I want to touch on this. Something that I see very often with teachers who are building their own businesses. Most of the teachers that I work with, they fall into two categories, either the ones that are coming right out of the classroom and were building their business from scratch, or they've already been working on building their business and something is just not clicking. And so when I work with this second type, one of the biggest things I see is that they're not showing up authentically. They're trying to make themselves more marketable by being kind of bland and watered down. But one of the things that they tend to do is that they will not necessarily put a picture themselves. I host a free directory for teachers who are solopreneurs, self-employed teachers. And if that's describes you, then please reach out. I noticed when I look at some of their websites are really very generic or their social media profiles. If they don't necessarily have a website and the best point of contact is a social media message, that's fine too. But it's all very generic and they'll refer to their business as we instead of I. But if you're a solopreneur, there is no we, it's just you. And that's okay. That's actually a good thing because you don't have to pretend to be something that you're not in order to have credibility. In fact, right now in today's climate, people trust people more than they trust businesses. So when we hide behind we, it makes the business feel vague and impersonal. And when people are hiring somebody to work with their child, they want to know who exactly it is they're hiring and what exactly they're going to be doing. So when you say I and you show up exactly as who you are, then they know if they're going to want to work with you. And that is powerful because people want to work with people. They want to know who you are. They want to know what you think. They want to know what you care about. So if you're a solopreneur, it's okay to say I. I want you to say I because we is not credible. And it's not honest. I mean, that's why it's not credible. It's not honest. You don't need to overthink that so much. You just need to be real. Visibility without abandoning yourself means showing up as who you actually are, setting those boundaries, protecting your time, and trusting that your people will recognize you when they see you. Because the truth is, if you water yourself down to appeal to everyone, you end up resonating with no one. But when you are fully yourself, when you lean into the things that make you you, your people find you. They understand why they want to work with you instead of somebody else who offers the same types of services that you offer. And when they find you, they stay. And that's what makes your business sustainable. Next week, I'm going to continue this conversation, but we won't so much be talking about visibility. I'm going to talk about some other common business practices, things that I have been told that I need to do in my business that personally I refuse to do. Not necessarily because they don't work, but because they feel completely out of alignment with who I am, my values, and the life and business that I am intentionally building. Because, like I said before, I'm not building a business that I'm going to dread showing up for. I didn't leave the classroom in order to create something that I would not enjoy. And if you're building something of your own, I don't think that you should either. Until then, I hope you have a great week. Thank you for listening. If today's episode resonated with you, please share it with a colleague or leave a review. This helps the conversation reach other teachers who may need it. You can learn more about what I do and how to work with me at theprivatepracticeteacher.org. Best wishes always.