Supporting the Highly Sensitive Child

Highly sensitive persons—adults and children alike—care deeply about people, about nature, about the world. Host Elizabeth Cush and Judith Orloff, MD, talk about the extraordinary gift of empathy in this episode of the Awaken Your Wise Woman podcast.

“So many of us were shamed for being who we were and being highly sensitive or empathic and not given education about it.” 
 — Judith Orloff, M.D.

What can a bunny teach us about empathy? A lot, it turns out, when the highly sensitive rabbit is modeled after a highly sensitive person who was called a crybaby, left alone by her brothers and sisters, and felt like she didn’t belong in the world. That is, until she begins to make like-minded friends who taught her how to embrace her sensitivity and care deeply for others without being swallowed up by her caring. In this episode of Awaken Your Wise Woman, host Elizabeth “Biz” Cush, LCPC, a licensed professional therapist, founder of Progression Counseling in Maryland and Delaware, and soul support for highly sensitive women, welcomes Judith Orloff, MD, a psychiatrist, an empath, and author of the children’s book The Highly Sensitive Rabbit as well as The Genius of Empathy, The Empath’s Survival Guide and other titles. They talk about finding your place and your people, achieving balance, celebrating the gifts of sensitivity, end encouraging empathy in the next generation.

You can find the full show notes and resources for all the episodes here.

Transcript

Judith Orloff Interview

Sun, Nov 23, 2025 7:16AM • 29:25

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

Judith Orloff, empath, highly sensitive rabbit, emotional intelligence, self-regulation, inner child, boundaries, empathy, psychiatrist, UCLA, book tour, sensitive children, intuition, nature connection, Facebook group.

SPEAKERS

Judith Orloff, Elizabeth Cush

Elizabeth Cush  00:08

Hi Judith, and welcome to The Awaken Your wise woman podcast. Thank you. I'm glad to be here. Yeah, it's so nice to have you here. And, yeah, I'm excited to talk about you and your work, but also the books you've written. But if you could share a little bit about yourself with the listeners who maybe not don't know who you are, that would be great. 

Judith Orloff  00:33

Well, I'm Judith Orloff. I'm a psychiatrist in Los Angeles. I'm on staff at UCLA. Went to UCLA psychiatric residency, USC Medical School, so strong background in logical, linear, rational science, and I'm proud of that. And I also have

Judith Orloff  00:55

integrated being an empath since I was a little girl, just a very highly sensitive person. We could talk about that, you know, on this podcast, and what it's like to be linear and logical and rational and and have a, you know, big heart and empathy and being able to be with people without taking on their,

Judith Orloff  01:18

you know, learning the balance points of empathy, and so I try to embody both in my private practice and just in my life, you know, because I really enjoy being an empath. And I I'm out on a book tour now for a book called The highly sensitive rabbit, which is Yes, oh so sweet. It's Yes, and it's about a highly sensitive rabbit named Aurora, who actually is me was based, and that's

Elizabeth Cush  01:50

Oh, okay, 

Judith Orloff  01:51

yeah, who was shamed for her abilities, and she was called a cry baby, and her brothers and sisters wouldn't play with her, and she was just all alone and didn't feel like she belonged in this world and how circumstances changed. And she began to meet friends in the desert who helped her with techniques on how to be a highly sensitive rabbit. And,

Judith Orloff  02:17

you know, and so that's pretty much my life story is how to be a highly sensitive rabbit.

Elizabeth Cush  02:26

I love that. I love that the book is so sweet and the illustrations are beautiful, and it's just a lovely,

Elizabeth Cush  02:34

yeah, just a lovely story

Elizabeth Cush  02:38

for you. I mean, obviously, well, not obviously, but you shared that you really value being an empath, being as sensitive as you are, but it has its challenges as well, and finding that balance between, you know, caring deeply, I feel like, as a psychiatrist, that's really important. You know, caring deeply about your your patients or your clients, but also not taking, I'm a therapist, so I get it too, but like not taking that home with you, or holding it in, you know, it, not letting it swallow you. And how, you know, how do you manage that? Yeah, 

Judith Orloff  03:17

yes, and that's very important, because it's you know, my role as a therapist isn't to take on your your issues and your problems. I don't see it as that. You know that I'm here to do that. I'm here to hold the space and offer whatever guidance I can to help you do the work you need to do to be freer. Exactly, exactly. Yeah, I see it a little bit differently. I don't see it as my role to take on other people's pain. I think that's counterproductive. I don't think it helps me or helps them. No, no, no. Oh yeah, absolutely, yeah. Well, because our patients, our clients, have to find the way themselves, or it's not healing, right? I mean, it needs to the journey has to be theirs. Has to be theirs. We can be with them and be the bright light next to them,

Judith Orloff  04:10

beautiful, and to be the source of knowledge, maybe that they don't have to give them tools, how to center yourself, how to take a long time, how to take a breath, especially for children and adults who are overwhelmed instead of just escalating up and not self regulate. This is about emotional intelligence, self regulation and having fun as an empath, you know, enjoying life and no in the highly sensitive rabbit she comes into that that it's when she learns how to set her boundaries and say, I don't want to be with you right now. I wouldn't rather look at the moon alone. Yes, yes, that's fine. Have a great 

Elizabeth Cush  04:56

Yeah, yeah, Well I thought that was so sweet.

Elizabeth Cush  05:00

Meet the the animal friends that you know came to her to say, you know, it's okay if you don't want to, you know, be in the rough and tumble with your brothers and sisters, but you do have a voice too. You can share if you do feel hurt by them, or, yeah, yeah. Really sweet, really

Elizabeth Cush  05:19

sweet, 

Judith Orloff  05:19

Finding like minded souls, and it's very important. Maybe you only find one, but that's fine. One is amazing. You have, yeah, maybe you have more than one, but you want to treasure them, but they're they're people who get you, and you don't have to explain everything you're feeling to them, you know well, and you need to be quiet. They go, I get it, you know,

Elizabeth Cush  05:45

yeah, 

Judith Orloff  05:45

good time calming down. So instead of, what do you mean, you know, what's wrong with you? We made plans, and you're You're hurting me. You're disappointing me. What do you mean? You can't go. We're going out to have fun. Anyways, we could escalate into an empath. That's a boundary, and you say no, so you have to learn how to dialog with this, because people don't always take boundaries

Judith Orloff  06:11

easily in the beginning, if you had another pattern with them, yeah, so you know, you just have to, you have to be the light hearted one, and not the one who tenses up and gets defensive. Now, yeah, I love you. You're my friend, no, and I value you. I just need to be alone. And thank you for understanding and helping me to learn how to set boundaries, because that's what I'm trying to do now,

Elizabeth Cush  06:36

yeah, that's so it's so important, right? It's to be able to speak your truth, right? And as well as the value, if that friend isn't understanding that you still value them as well? Yeah, 

Judith Orloff  06:50

absolutely, it has nothing to do with not valuing them. It has to do with your limitations and capabilities, where you might get sick or overloaded if you don't take the time, right then, if you've gone over your red line, and I can feel that in myself, gone over it too much, too fast, I need to just be quiet and recalibrate. And if I don't, you know, I'll go on sensory overload. And that's a very painful state to be in when just too much is coming at you too fast, and you can't modulate it, and there are people talking, and there are decisions to be made, and it's just, you know, not a good place to be. Yeah, yeah, no, just to be aware of that. You don't want to get to that place. You want to take that time out for you and your children. You know when you need it, when you first your intuition says, now,

Judith Orloff  07:46

now is the time you don't want to put it off. Because, you know, when I put it off, only bad things happen. I end up something I regret. Yeah, yeah. I ended up feeling sick because I so meta science, you know, my stomach starts hurting, no or my body will give me a signal. So as as an empath, and for your children, you could teach them listen, you know, listen to your body signals. Listen when you've gone over the red line, try not to let it get that far, and don't keep looking things. If you're feeling overloaded or sick or exhausted? Yeah, and I think that's a big that something that I see with my clients often that there is this sense of like a need to either people please or, you know, take care of others needs and and because they've been told maybe they were too sensitive or too much or too whatever, but it it becomes easier to take care of other people instead of themselves, even though I say easier, because we pay the price. That's right, that's right. And sometimes the price is exhaustion. Yeah, chronic exhaustion, and you don't want to be dragging around all the time. If you're dragging around all the time today, you know you're listening to our conversation. It's a good conversation to listen to at this point. And what can I do to replenish myself and start to build up my reserves at this point? Not in a week, not three weeks, but now today, even a little tiny step,

Judith Orloff  09:24

maybe go in the bathtub, shut the door, light a candle and just relax. Yeah, yeah, a jabber in the mind. You know when you begin to take even one step or two steps, it begins to turn the process around of overload to feeling in your center again and feeling good, 

Elizabeth Cush  09:44

yeah, well, and it's almost as if,

Elizabeth Cush  09:48

like, your insides, the parts of you, like, begin to trust that you are going to take care of yourself, right? That like, Oh, here she is actually listening

Judith Orloff  09:58

Absolutely.

Judith Orloff  10:00

Listening and taking care of the inner child within, because that's the highly sensitive rabbit is about being a kid and and having that inner child meeting her, but also being an adult and honoring that inner child that you don't want to rule your life, but you want her to be with you and and you your vow is to take care of her and listen to her and not let her rule your life. But you know, give her input and play with her and listen to what she needs. That's very important. So in my book signings, it's interesting. I'm having children come with their moms and dads. I'm also having adults come

Judith Orloff  10:40

inner child with them. 

Elizabeth Cush  10:42

Oh,

Judith Orloff  10:43

that child. It's time to not forget about her ever. 

Elizabeth Cush  10:47

Yeah, yeah. As I read it, I I had looked through it before, you know, when you initially sent it to me, and then before the interview today, I sat and really, you know, sat with it, looked at the pictures, read the story, and like, at moments, I was like, oh, you know, got a little teary. I felt it really in my heart. And that was really just such a lovely experience. Yeah,

Judith Orloff  11:16

I love what you did with your hand right then, when you were describing it to this picture, yeah, yeah, and best place to be right in here,

Elizabeth Cush  11:28

yes indeed, yes indeed. Just talking about it gets me a little teary,

Elizabeth Cush  11:34

because I feel like there were times where my inner child was not listened to or not not cared for or nurtured in the way, but I know how to today, so yeah, that's right, 

Judith Orloff  11:46

and that's true for so many of us. Yeah, you know, so many of us were shamed for being who we were and being highly sensitive or empathic and and not given education about it. We didn't have circles with our grandmothers and our aunts and no been in the family to tell us what's going on. Yeah, you're just sensitive. I had nobody, you know, at that time. I have some people now, but back then,

Judith Orloff  12:16

nobody, and it's a terrible feeling when you're and I'm sure some of your listeners can relate, you know, to not have any support with this, because it's really hard to sort through by yourself. 

Elizabeth Cush  12:28

It is, it really is, go into shopping malls and why? Why do I feel so awful when I come out of them? Why do I feel so exhausted, or why do I feel pain or depressed? What is going on here? I thought to be happy, right? This is what every everybody else's dream of being happy, right?

Judith Orloff  12:50

Yeah, you don't know. So my goal in writing this book, and also my work with empaths, the empath Survival Guide, thriving

Judith Orloff  13:00

the genius of empathy. I've written a bunch of books on empathy and intuition, because that's my interest. All is a matter of expression of the highly sensitive soul. Yeah, so, yeah, important that we honor all of this in ourselves. And you know, the intuition inside of us begin to listen to not talk yourself out of things. You know, that's that won't lead you anywhere good if you talk yourself out of something, if you get an intuition where, no, I don't really want to go into this, this business agreement. Oh, but you're going to get so much money from it. Oh, it's going to be so good I wouldn't do it if I were you. Yeah, listen to, you know what? Listen to. And sometimes you just have to make mistakes and find out what happens when you don't listen. Yeah, money gets impressed.

Elizabeth Cush  13:55

No, but it's true, though, but, and I feel like, because, you know, when we are raised in an environment where we're told, you know You're too sensitive, or you take things too personally, or you know you're overly emotional, it it, we sort of lose our innate ability to trust our intuition, because we know what we're feeling, and other people are telling us you shouldn't be feeling that way. And so something gets kind of disconnected inside, I guess you know where we have lost trust with those little pokes of intuition that come to us, yes, yes, but you can find it again.

Judith Orloff  14:38

You know, beginning to close your eyes and put your hand on your heart and just ask yourself, What does my body feel about this person? Yeah, do I feel comfortable? Do I have a knot in my stomach? Do I feel relaxed? Do I feel familiar? Do I feel like I want to hug them? Do I feel like I don't want them to touch me at all? No, just we're.

Judith Orloff  15:00

Really begin to ask yourself those questions so you see how your intuition is responding

Judith Orloff  15:06

to life in general. 

Elizabeth Cush  15:08

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no. It's so true. It's so true. Our bodies are so wise, and we often, I know I didn't disconnected from my body for a long time just because of life experiences. And, yeah, yeah, not really being shown how to tune into my body when I was a kid. You know, 

Judith Orloff  15:29

of course, we didn't get the training. But the kids need the training, and that's why I wrote this book. It gives them simple, simple beginning training. Yeah, so they have something they want. They know something's going on in them, and it's a beautiful something, and how to take care of it and how to find others that can support it too. So you're not all alone, you know, with the brothers who are just saying you're a crybaby and, and, oh yeah,

Judith Orloff  15:57

get a thicker  skin. What's wrong with you? You know, over and over each day to hear that that's not healthy. No, no, definitely not. And, and, yeah, damaging, really, right? I mean, to feel ashamed for who you are from your family. Yes, it makes you question yourself. Yes, good you have. You want to be confident in who you are and loving and who you are, you don't want to always be. Is it me? You know? Is this me? Am I causing this? Is this you know something.

Judith Orloff  16:30

You know. You get into these areas of doubt which are very unhealthy. You want to be proud of your intuitions and your sensitivities, and whatever that may be. And when someone says, and this is the bane of my existence, when people say this to me, they've said it thought my whole life, they said,

Judith Orloff  16:51

Well, you're the only one who ever feels this way. 

Elizabeth Cush  16:54

Yes, 

Judith Orloff  16:56

oh no, don't say it again. That

Judith Orloff  16:59

difference that I'm the only one. I am the one right, right experiencing this. The same with you. If you have an experience and someone says to you, but you're the only one who's ever experienced that, then what are you going to do? I mean, but when you get more confident, you know, you say, oh, it's them again. You know,

Elizabeth Cush  17:22

you just don't get me right.

Judith Orloff  17:25

Don't get me. They never will. And you have to be careful in the medical profession, you know, if you go to a doctor and they say that, because they often do, they say, what you what? You know, I've never heard about that before, yeah, yeah. Instead of saying, oh, isn't that interesting? You know, I've never, haven't heard about it, but let's see what we can do. Tell me more, right, right,

Elizabeth Cush  17:48

yes, oh, yeah.

Judith Orloff  17:52

And, you know, they have somebody as opposed to wronging you, and people, when they're insecure and they don't know how to explain things, they start wronging you,

Judith Orloff  18:02

or highly sensitive, or empath is blaming themselves. They're so sensitive, but you don't you just want to realize reality that some people just don't get it.

Elizabeth Cush  18:14

Yeah, 

Judith Orloff  18:14

I don't think you're going to change their mind. I mean, you could always try and educate them, but that's a weird position to be in if you're not feeling well, and somebody is telling you you don't feel so they don't understand why you feel a certain way, but yet you feel it.

Judith Orloff  18:30

It's, it's, you don't want to do that when you're not feeling well. You want to have right around you who are supportive and say, just tell me what's going on. Let's work with it. And let's, let's deal with it. Yeah, yeah, you're not feeling it, yeah, useless is that? You know well, and it's about it, yeah? 

Elizabeth Cush  18:51

But it's funny too, because there are times when I have found especially being highly sensitive. And then my husband, who is not.

Elizabeth Cush  19:03

I can remember having a conversation about doing something. I think maybe it was going on a boat. And in my head, I was thinking through like, well, I need to look at the boat. I need to figure out whether this is something I'd be comfortable on. One do they have a bathroom? What's the seating arrangements? Like I was going through this mental deep processing of, like, am I going to be comfortable with this? And he was like, I don't understand why. You're just not. Don't just want to go you like boats, like, what? What's the problem? And it took me a minute to realize that, like, I wasn't sharing with him what was happening inside me. And I was like, I just want to see what it looks like so I know whether I'm comfortable. And he was like, Oh, okay. But it took me a while to be able to

Elizabeth Cush  19:48

recognize, one, what my reservations were, and two, to be able to say it in a way where I felt empowered, not to feel like, Oh well, I feel like I have to, you know, I don't know, make myself smaller.

Elizabeth Cush  19:59

I had to be like, I just need to know whether this is going to be okay for me.

Judith Orloff  20:04

Yes, absolutely. And that's a very healthy thing to do that. Yeah, feel okay. I need to know how you know my needs are going to be taken care of here. Exactly, exactly. Yeah. But see, it's okay to ask. And I want to say that to everyone. You know, that was a good example. You have to be okay to ask for your needs. And you know, people might say, Oh, you're overly sensitive. Why can't you just get on the boat? It's a boat. You're going on the ocean, right? You're gonna love it.

Judith Orloff  20:34

Get a hold of yourself. You know,

Judith Orloff  20:37

that's not talk to a highly sensitive person, or a child. Even worse, you know, the child is feeling this a million fold, and nobody's listening to the child, and so you're dragging child out on the boat and, yeah, throw up, or they might have seasickness, you know, who knows what? What you know, what their reason was? Yeah. The point is, you need to ask them. You need to find out where they're coming from. And as adults, we need to speak up, because, unfortunately, not everyone's going to ask us. Yep, that's true. That is absolutely true. Yeah, we have to be comfortable enough to share what it is for, yeah, what, what we're feeling also, but what we're concerned about and how, yeah, that that that really we're looking to make sure our needs are going to be met in a way that's that feels okay. 

Elizabeth Cush  21:25

Yeah. And so what, what inspired you? You said the highly sensitive rabbit is, you know your story, and you've written a lot of books geared towards adults who are empathic, empathic and sensitive. What prompted you to write the children's book this time? 

Judith Orloff  21:45

Well, what prompted me was that the world is in a terrible place, and

Judith Orloff  21:52

there's turmoil and stress, and empaths are getting overwhelmed, and children are not knowing how to deal with it. And these children, they know these highly sensitive children, know that their job is to protect the Earth and they're to listen to their bodies, and their job is to, you know, bring people together, because that's their nature. And so I want to give them some beginning tidbits to deal with themselves, so that when they do take over the world, which won't be that much longer, you know, right, right, these children are going to inherit the earth. Yes, you need to be in good shape. They get, no, I'm so overwhelmed, you know? They have to learn how to deal with I'm so overwhelmed. And this is what I can do about it, and then I go back on my path. 

Elizabeth Cush  22:42

Yep, yep, yeah.

Judith Orloff  22:46

Put down. I'm so overwhelmed. That's a terrible feeling. But with these children, if you start early, it often makes them it's a lot easier for them later on, and they're so we're going to have the positions of responsibility. They're going to be the adults. You know, I'm not going to be here at a certain point. But while I'm here, I wanted to write a book, yeah, to help them have simple book, a very simple book. It's not an adult book, though. It's the highly sensitive child

Judith Orloff  23:16

it's us as we grow up and we,

Elizabeth Cush  23:19

yes, 

Judith Orloff  23:19

you know, all the time, and it's good thing to have her around and form of unity and coming together with the self to have her and because she's often stranded, as you know, as children, when we were children, we didn't know how to protect her. She got shamed or bullied or ignored or traumatized, whatever she got, she's house alone there. And part of an exercise I suggest in thriving as an empath is to visualize yourself if you don't have your inner child going back to that house where you think she's still at where the trauma happened, and, yeah, knocking on the door and finding that dear thing, dear one, bringing her with you and saying, I'm so sorry. I couldn't protect you back then, but I can't. Yeah, seeing her take your hand and your hand, feeling the tactile,

Judith Orloff  24:20

you know, connection and reuniting with her. 

Elizabeth Cush  24:24

Oh, that's lovely. Yeah, that's lovely. That is lovely. But I also love what you shared about, you know, these sensitive kids are the ones who

Elizabeth Cush  24:35

feel so deeply about the planet and animals and the trees and nature and and to be able to support them so that they can go on to

Elizabeth Cush  24:48

nurture and, you know, help our world. That's a lovely, lovely idea.

Judith Orloff  24:54

It is because you don't want to have adults debating whether or not we should take care of the earth. You.

Judith Orloff  25:00

Know, it's such a waste of time and ridiculous. Of course, we should take care of the earth. But isn't it interesting that the sensitive kids are the ones that really get that and and I don't mean you have to be a sensitive child or a sensitive you can be a caring adult and get it, and you don't have to an empath or a highly sensitive to get it, but the ones that are highly sensitive, it's just natural that they do get it, 

Elizabeth Cush  25:24

yes, yes. Just part of their Yeah, their nature, yeah. 

Judith Orloff  25:28

Not a conflict. It's not a debate. It's not, you don't have to do any studies on it. It just is. It's our job is to take care of mother earth, period. 

Elizabeth Cush  25:38

Yeah, yeah, right. I don't understand why. That isn't just a part of everybody's DNA, but whatever,right? 

Judith Orloff  25:45

Because people value, you know, other other things, yes, resources and yes, yes, yes, taking versus giving back. It's so beautiful to see these children, you know, you go for a walk with them in the forest, you know, look

Judith Orloff  26:01

at this animal. Oh, look at that oh, that sky. Oh, let's slide down and it gets feel the warm sun. Yeah, it's so much fun. And they just know what to do with nature, which is key, yeah, yeah, that's so important. Fumbling around, they don't have the faintest idea what to do.

Elizabeth Cush  26:22

So if you were to offer some words of advice for a parent or grandparent who has a highly sensitive child in their life, what would you offer to them?

Judith Orloff  26:36

I would offer be their friend

Judith Orloff  26:39

and come meet them where they're at and listen to them and be there, be there for them, not smothering or overkill or anything like that, but just to be there, to listen to support, to share, to have good times with, to say, oh, that bird is so beautiful, isn't it? So you can have that connection early on as a child, it's good to have the grandmother and the grandfather and the aunts and the uncles, or if you have all of those

Judith Orloff  27:10

now, I have a Facebook group full of empaths, and I took a picture of myself when I did. You see this? I didn't. I'm part of the group, but, but I didn't. I didn't see the what you're sharing right now, but yeah, I put a six year old picture of myself up and put, you know, my had no teeth, and, you know, the big eyes and so cute, you know. And so I invited everyone to put their own pictures there,

Judith Orloff  27:38

I don't know, maybe 100 pictures of and some people couldn't remember their childhood, and so they too, they got so traumatized. I don't have a picture and I can't remember anything, but I'm here with you all and but there's so

Judith Orloff  27:52

many, the way people talked about this child, the picture, you could see the child, you know, the precious child. And so that's the essence of this highly sensitive rabbit, this book to see all these children inside the adults that you know the children are alive. And well, 

Elizabeth Cush  28:12

yeah, oh, that's very sweet. I love that. I love that. Well, if people want to find you your books, your Facebook group. How would they go about doing that?

Judith Orloff  28:25

Oh, you could go to my website, which is D, R, Judith Orloff, O, R, L, O, F, F, com, and there's a free newsletter list for highly sensitive people, if you want to get

Judith Orloff  28:39

tips and tricks, and you know how to live your life in the best possible life as a highly sensitive person. Sign up for that free e newsletter,

Judith Orloff  28:48

workshops, and I'm on, you know, book tour now for the highly sensitive rabbit, and it's

Judith Orloff  28:56

just been a joy. So you could reach me, mainly through my website and find everything there, and I also give private sessions. And so the information is there too about that 

Elizabeth Cush  29:06

awesome, awesome. Well, I will include the link in your the show notes for the episode once it's up and running. And I just so much appreciate your time. I really enjoyed our conversation today.

Judith Orloff  29:19

 It was lovely. Yes, I did too. Ah, thank you. Bye.