Unsolicited Business Advice
Let's be real.
You may feel like your business owns you. You may feel uncomfortable that business has become stuffy, so you either dress up or don't show up. You are possibly on the roller coaster of wearing all the hats and wondering if it's time to close your doors.
Unsolicited Business Advice
27: So, Callie's Writing A Book...
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The first one was for the trash, the second one was “eh” (her words!), and the third one is something she’s extremely proud of. What sparked the idea? What brought her to type the first words? What does this whole thing look like?
We feel everyone has a book in them…even if it’s just for the trash, so Amanda asked Callie to share all about it, as it may just inspire you, dear listener, to put pen to paper!
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This is the Unsolicited Business Advice Podcast. We're Amanda and Callie, founders, moms, and friends who believe your heart is valid and your way is good enough.
SPEAKER_00Around here, we skip the buttoned-up LinkedIn talk and dive straight into real conversations about growing a startup, balancing motherhood, and rejecting the hustle culture. Consider this your weekly reminder that business can actually feel joyful again. Okay, welcome back to episode 27. I wish people could hear the conversations we have before we push record.
SPEAKER_02Well, I think if we did like raw video, like on YouTube, that scares me. But like that would be I mean um that would be fun. The conversations. Yeah. Yeah. Some of them I'd probably cut out. Just because of what I said last episode of like the responses from people that I don't value their responses from. Right. I don't need that in my life. I don't need that in my life. That's what's kept me from putting these on YouTube. Right. But also Totally get it. Which pause. I sent this in a text to you and Cassidy that like, and this is to the audience of a thank you. Like we had a hundred, or we had a thousand. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That's really cool. I forgot to respond to that.
SPEAKER_02I think. Or maybe I did. No, you didn't. Oh, I'm sorry. Jeez. Like, of course we did. No.
SPEAKER_00My head is. Yeah. I responded in my head. That's good. I do that all the time. Which is, you know, thank you. Yeah. Listeners. Yes. It's awesome. That's amazing. You're still here. Sometimes when people come into the coffee shop and they're like, I listened to your podcast the other day. I don't know how I feel about that. No. It's like, oh. Yeah. At the same time.
SPEAKER_02I know. No, what do you think?
SPEAKER_00I don't actually want to know the answer.
SPEAKER_02Sean will be like, I was listening to this and he'll be talking to the girls. I'd be look, he's like, I listened to this podcast the other day, and one of the ladies said this. And I was like, oh God, are you just gonna come back to bite me when you're getting ready to say? Yeah. Like it was this a do as I say, not as I do moment. Um, okay, so we had a list of we have a list of response or people inquiring topics, questions. And I'm gonna I just threw this on Callie because that's fun to do. Um Callie's writing a book.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, she's you you've already written a book. I have. Just nobody knows about it. I'm okay with that.
SPEAKER_00Okay. They always say the first book is for the trash, and it it is.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00Um, the first book I wrote was for the trash. I'm not saying I don't agree with it.
SPEAKER_02And I thought it was good.
SPEAKER_00Well, yeah, you're very kind, but I was a lot younger and I had no experience writing, and that's okay. Yeah. I think we should all do that. A hundred percent. Yeah, because not everything has to be for production, right? Some of it is for the trash. That's okay. Um, I'm glad I did that because I've written a couple now, and this is the third one I'm writing right now. I'm actually writing with my husband, and that's way more fun. Oh, yeah. Mainly because we don't always agree. So the conversation back and forth is really fun.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Okay. So Callie has, if you haven't gotten that, she doesn't have 17 kids or 54, which is usually what I joke about, but she does have six children. Which is basically 54. It is. Yeah. Two all the way to how old's Ellie? 20. So two years old to 20. Yeah. And then last episode she said she's 26, which Right, which is a little weird. Know the math. That's you know, whatever. Yeah. So you've are raised have raised and are raising children. And you decided to write a book. Yes. So part of me is okay, we already covered some of the stuff. Like the first one's for the trash. Yeah. And writing it was what you needed for whatever you were doing. And then you've written a second one that I guess is also for the trash since it's to be found.
SPEAKER_00Um, yeah, I mean, it's out there. Okay. Um, again, it's not something I'm glad I wrote it. I'm not super proud of it just because of my, again, my abilities at the time, but on this is another example of like do things before you're ready. Yeah. Like, you know. So I'm glad it exists. But um, and I totally agree with the concepts that I've written, even the one I wrote 15 years ago. I still totally agree with the concepts. Just I would have done it differently at this point in my life.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think. So this third one is on kids and on parenting, and which I think is brave.
SPEAKER_00Uh yeah. So you said kids and on parenting. And so the book is called kids. Because if I called the book parenting, you would all like stick your middle finger up at me and turn around and walk the other way, because that's a really offensive idea that you could write a book that could somehow inform someone's parenting. It's kind of it's kind of an asshole move, right?
SPEAKER_02Well, that's interesting because there are a lot of those out there.
SPEAKER_00There are. There are. And some of them, yeah, I have read and have wanted to stick my middle finger up and walk the other way because I felt like it was. And not to say they shouldn't exist, not to say those people didn't do a great job. I'm not even judging those people. None of that is what I'm I have in my head. I just in my head, and you'll get this after you read the book, is that my idea of parenting is good for me. And not necessarily something anybody else would choose. But I think the conversation about the reason that we get to where we get on the subject of parenting is really valid. Really valid.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It informs everything. As far as how we interact with our kids, how we interact with people in our day-to-day life, like cohorts, peers, stuff like that. It's rabbit hole, sorry. But I I really think that that's the reason I called the book kids instead of here's my parenting advice, Yamoron. Right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um yeah, like I am better than you. Yeah. My way is better than you. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00But I wrote this put book from that point of vantage point and that point of view in so the the the chapters are stories from my own life. It's not like this is what I think you need to do. Right. Yeah. It's more like, here's what happened to me.
SPEAKER_02Kind of. Yeah. Yeah. And like what's been the process? Because I think a lot of I think everybody has a book in them, whether it's for the trash or for the world or just for their family. And I think there's this thing of like, if I write it, then I have to sell it, then I have to put myself out there, and who am I? Which, like, not even necessary. Well, none of that has to be true. Right. And even like a hobby doesn't necessarily have to turn into a business. And like for some reason that feels like what you're supposed to do. And so what so that my thought is like, what got you to type the very first sentence?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So, I mean, that's a great question because uh so much of this is a process just like just like life. It's not like one day I was like, hey, I'm gonna write this book and here we go. It wasn't like that. I wrote a book, it was for the trash. I wrote another book, it was okay. Then I wrote a blog about my life and my journey.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And that was really uh fulfilling. All three of these things have been really fulfilling. And then as I'm in the coffee shop working day to day as a barista slash counselor, um I the same themes continually come up, the same things. And it has a lot to do with what am I, who am I, and why is this happening to me. And a lot of those times there is the element of parent-child relationship. And so I started to get really curious about my own, like Brad and I are very aware of how we parent and what's important to us, but I don't know that there's ever been like a sit down at the beginning of your marriage and line out all the things you want to be as a parent or the things you value. There hasn't been that moment. And so I sat down and I thought, what is it that I am so comfortably latched on to in this whole parenting journey? And I realized how my story started. And it was me watching my sister and her and my brother-in-law. Um, when I was pregnant with my first kid, I watched them parent a kid, my nephew, who was never out of control. But this one moment had an out-of-control moment, and my sister was just like, Hey, go to your room. And he was like, Okay. And he was mad, and he walked to his room, and as he got closer to his room, the mad went away, and then I didn't hear him at all anymore. And I'm sitting there with my sister. None of this, by the way, have I told her. Sitting there watching her. We're still talking. We've got drinks in our hands, we're still talking, and he comes back out not even a minute later. Sorry, mom. And she says, Okay, I just didn't want you to do this because of the I don't remember what the situation was. He said, Yeah, I know. Sorry, mom, love you. They hugged, he went his own direction, she went and started talking to me again. It didn't even interrupt our conversation that her and I were having. And I just found so much value in everybody's response in that situation. I was like, what the hell just happened? Because, you know, I have other friends. Right. I see different scenarios in which that's not the way that that turns out. For sure. And I was like, is he just a really, really freaking smart kid? Like, did she just get really lucky? And then my niece came along, who is oh, the fire. She's the fire of that family. And I was kind of like, you know, like, alrighty, this is gonna be the challenge, you know. And the same thing happened. Uh-uh. Yeah. I mean, and and this girl currently, my niece, just so you get a little background of her, she's currently over in Belgium interviewing people for NPR. Like, she's an international correspondent while she's in college. She's got a lot of things to say. She's super opinionated, she's fantastic in so many ways. But that personality also had the same response as my nephews, which was just like, yeah, I understand. Okay. And off they go. Playing usually the thing that they were playing five minutes before when they had their meltdown. So they returned to the scene of the crime, sort of thing. Anyway, I was just really interested in why that worked and how that worked. And being a mental health counselor, even so early on, I was really intrigued by the ability, human capacity. Yeah. You know? And I realized, and this gets much more fleshed out through the book, through stories, but I realized that we do have the capacity for all things, including that. And I have an autistic brother. So I also understand that there are situations, genetic and whatnot, that make that a whole lot harder. But there's still an element of that being an ability we can have. So, anyway, that's where the the the thought from the book came from. And man, it was like when I started figuring out what the story was and why how I got to the point that I got to, it just flowed. Yeah. I mean, it was the easiest thing I've ever written. It was the fastest thing I've ever written. It is, I'm gonna say this because I've said it before. I really truly mean it. It this is the thing that I am most proud of that I've ever done in my entire life. I am the most proud of this more than my businesses, more than any books that I've written, more than any speeches that I've made, more than any, like, this is it for me. I'm really proud of it. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And so, because I think a lot of times whenever we do something, especially when it is us, like open, wide open, vulnerable, like you're showing up naked and all the things. Is there, has there, have you allowed yourself to put any, have you noticed if you've put any pressure on yourself of like, what is at the end of this? What am I gonna do? How am I gonna publish it? Who's gonna edit it? Where am I gonna print it? Like, how is it gonna be distributed? What is this gonna turn into? Like, have you allowed any of that to creep in, or have you tried to just go like the first thing is to write it, the second thing is to get it edited, and then we'll see. Or is it or have like has there even been that much not as a negative thing, but like, has there even been that much thought behind what's next?
SPEAKER_00And I think you said that because you know me.
SPEAKER_02Partially, but I think of like how other people would go about because I think some people wouldn't even finish it because then the fear of the next step, of the uncertainty of whatever the success or not success can keep them from like, well, if I don't finish it, that means I nothing else is like I can't, I don't like it. Then I just the unknown is just still unknown.
SPEAKER_00I genuinely and honestly don't care how this ends up.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I needed to write this story. I care with my businesses, like where it ends up. Like I need them to be in a certain place in five years because if not, my kids can't go to college, that sort of thing. Like, but this book, and I think it's part of the reason I'm so proud of it and I'm so in love with it, is because this was just a passion project. And yeah, I don't I know I will figure out the next step, yeah, but I don't care what it is or what I have to go through to get it. And I don't even care when it comes out, like on what timeline. Like I know for sure that I'm supposed to write it, which in my heart says it will help at least one person. Yeah. And beyond that, I don't care.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. If you let yourself get kind of excited about it and like the thought of it, what would be a really cool thing that would come from it?
SPEAKER_00I would love to have infinitely more conversations about parenting on the level of what we we Brad and I both talk about in that book. I would love to have the conversations that move the move the world forward on because it's not just about parenting, it's about relationships, it's about how we treat ourselves. It's about like I feel like the information, not information, I feel like the stories in the book can give people the kind of bravery it takes and the kind of confidence that it takes to start to be really real with themselves about what they want. And I don't know how much of that exists in this world, you know? Oh, a hundred percent.
SPEAKER_02There's yeah, like there's just well, it goes back to what we were talking about in the last podcast with the AI of like it's on uh like there's so much self-awareness. And then whenever we're looking to the side for like, well, what are they doing? Well, what are they doing? And I think it's good in a way, but you also have to bring it back to be like, okay, is that good for us? Does that work for us? Because I know like I went full down like the gentle parenting thing, and then started to see people being like, Hold on. Like, I mean, this is what I'm seeing with that. And I'm like, that's exactly what I'm dealing with at home with a 10-year-old. So, like, hold on, let's pull it back. Because like it works, it's almost like it works until it doesn't, or until you know better, you do better, kind of thing. And we don't trust our maybe it's just too like we don't trust ourselves that we're what we know is enough.
SPEAKER_00Well, we certainly come into this, all of us, with our own backstories, which is very yeah powerful. And it tends to inform us and how we're gonna act as parents and people. Um but it's interesting that you said that because I feel like and I and I I think we I think I at least allude to this in the book. I don't know if Brad does too, but we kind of talk about how I don't even know how to say this. It's one of those things that's like you need more of the backstory to get to where I'm at in my head, you know. Um well, I'll just say we come at this, all of us, from so many different backgrounds and so many different perspectives and so many different hurts. And we're all just trying to do our best. None of us want to suck at this. Right. The most important thing in any of our worlds is our kids. Yeah. We made them, they're part of us, you know, like they literally share pieces of us. And so if there's not a piece of us that's trying to protect that, then that would be crazy. Yeah. But just like with everything else in life, when we let something be too much, it tends to make us have reactions and outcomes that we don't necessarily want and that we never wanted. But because we're coming from the backgrounds that we have in our heads and we're trying to inform our parenting with those backgrounds, and we're trying to do such a good job of it, and we're so focused on this piece, and this part really mattered a lot to us when we were kids, and this is so huge. Um, that puts a lot of undue stress on the relationship and unneeded stress. And so the most, I think, important part of the whole thing is I saw my sister and brother-in-law parent in that way, and that was really valuable to me. And I was like, holy crap, what'd you do and how'd you do it and why did it work? But the only reason it worked for Brad and I is because we had our own set of values, which are a little different from my brother-in-law and sister, that we were like, this is really important to us, and we're gonna protect this piece at all costs, which makes really easy decisions out of, well, what about this? Well, what about this? Well, what about this? It's like, well, does it go back and serve that other thing?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And for Brad and I, it is confidence and responsibility. And we talk about that a lot. Yeah. So anyway.
SPEAKER_02Yay. That's exciting. Well, yeah, I just wanted to talk about it just because again, like I think everybody has a story to tell. And so the fact like you have pulled the trigger and you're writing it and you're doing it and not putting a chokehold on it and letting it be what it's gonna be. I think that I'm hoping will show some people like write a book and write it for the trash or write it for the world, whichever one you think is best, but do it and see what happens.
SPEAKER_00If there's a thing in you, no matter what it is, let it out. Yeah, it doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_02And I think a lot of times if it's harder to do or like you feel that pushback, it's usually I think get curious about what that where that's coming from too.
SPEAKER_00And sometimes just the curios the curiosity satisfies that. Yeah. Anything's anything's possible if you're just willing to listen to yourself and be aware of it. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, thanks for sharing. Yeah. And we will I will for sure tell people where they can find it when it is available.
SPEAKER_00Well, thank you. But also, I think we need to put some pressure on you because you're expected to write the foreword.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yes, which is why I printed it out to read it. Perfect. Step one. Step one. Yes. Okay. That will be a to-be continued. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thanks for sharing. Thanks for writing it.
SPEAKER_00Thanks for listening to the unsolicited business advice podcast. If you've got a question you want us to tackle, DM us or drop it in the comments. Your story might be in our next episode. And hey, if it resonates with you, hit follow and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Every review helps us reach more business owners who are ready to bring joy back into their work.