SPEAKER_00: Well, welcome to another episode of the Mary Martha podcast.
SPEAKER_00: I am Mary Alessie.
SPEAKER_00: And I am Martha Munizzi.
SPEAKER_00: And you're listening to us.
SPEAKER_00: You are.
SPEAKER_00: I just said something that um might stick.
SPEAKER_00: We keep using that word sticky.
SPEAKER_00: Sticky.
SPEAKER_00: You get a you get a new word and then you just can't stop using it.
SPEAKER_00: We're sticking, it's stickable.
SPEAKER_00: Sticking.
SPEAKER_00: It just says everything you want to and we're the room together.
SPEAKER_00: We're in the room.
SPEAKER_00: We're in the same room.
SPEAKER_00: I like it better when we're in the same room.
SPEAKER_00: I think we can read each other's mind better.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: We can see each other and I can tell when you want to say something.
SPEAKER_00: Well, I just wonder if people can tell us apart.
SPEAKER_00: If they're just listening, if they can tell our voices apart.
SPEAKER_00: That would be interesting.
SPEAKER_00: That would be a great, a great thing to ask.
SPEAKER_00: If you could tell.
SPEAKER_00: Tell us if you're talking.
SPEAKER_00: Who's talking right now?
SPEAKER_00: Who is this one?
SPEAKER_00: And who is this one?
SPEAKER_00: Who is that one?
SPEAKER_00: I I just said to Ashley, one of our producers, that we need to say that our subtitle for this is Let's Just Talk.
SPEAKER_00: Let's just talk.
SPEAKER_00: Because we got in the booth today and we had several things we wanted to talk about, and then we started talking.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And it all changed.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: So we said, let's just talk.
SPEAKER_00: Everybody else is just talking.
SPEAKER_00: That is just so true.
SPEAKER_00: Saying stuff.
SPEAKER_00: And that's what we we do.
SPEAKER_00: We just talk anyway.
SPEAKER_00: And we've got some good stuff to talk about.
SPEAKER_00: But I think there are people that will probably enjoy just the off-the-cuff conversations you and I have.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I know I do.
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I like to just listen to people having very fun, relaxed.
SPEAKER_00: I'm not having to learn, I'm not having to take notes.
SPEAKER_00: Now, if they want to throw in something really good, like a good revelation or a practical truth, I love that.
SPEAKER_00: Or something about themselves that you learn.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: I like a story.
SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, I didn't know that.
SPEAKER_00: Because now I can share that story with somebody else and go, how interesting is that?
SPEAKER_00: Did you know that?
SPEAKER_00: I found out something interesting about myself recently.
SPEAKER_00: What?
SPEAKER_00: And you may know this about me already.
SPEAKER_00: My guess is you do.
SPEAKER_00: Of course I do.
SPEAKER_00: I don't like to tell anything new that people already know.
SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_00: And it's very hard to find stuff people don't already know.
SPEAKER_00: Impossible.
SPEAKER_00: Mother already knows.
SPEAKER_00: Like she knows everything.
SPEAKER_00: And then when her off Instagram.
SPEAKER_00: No, and then when you're following different people, your algorithms start to sync up.
SPEAKER_00: And I will send stuff to Danielle and she'll go, Mama, I sent this to you two weeks ago.
SPEAKER_00: I know.
SPEAKER_00: No, you didn't.
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00: I sent the same meme to you.
SPEAKER_00: There's no news anymore.
SPEAKER_00: There's no news.
SPEAKER_00: It's not new news.
SPEAKER_00: It's no news.
SPEAKER_00: We're all getting the same news in the same moment on the same day.
SPEAKER_00: Same time.
SPEAKER_00: And I don't have anything to tell anybody anymore.
SPEAKER_00: There's nothing to share.
SPEAKER_00: Burst up on the scene.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Not that I want to be a newscaster, but I would like to know a few things to be able to share.
SPEAKER_00: And people go, what?
SPEAKER_00: No, I didn't even know that.
SPEAKER_00: Well, there's but there's people that are on the in the know about everything, probably like you and me.
SPEAKER_00: And then there's other people that don't know anything because they put their phones away and they choose not to know.
SPEAKER_00: That's true.
SPEAKER_00: So then when you go to share, they're like, I hadn't heard that.
SPEAKER_00: Then you also feel kind of awkward.
SPEAKER_00: Like, did they not did they not hear it on purpose?
SPEAKER_00: They didn't want to know what was going on and knowing their privacy.
SPEAKER_00: My husband likes to pretend like he doesn't know anything.
SPEAKER_00: But he does.
SPEAKER_00: I know he already knew.
SPEAKER_00: Dan does the same thing.
SPEAKER_00: That breaking news, that current.
SPEAKER_00: I know he knew.
SPEAKER_00: But what is interesting to me is the things he knows more about than me.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: And I and I it, I'm like, how do you know that?
SPEAKER_00: If you didn't know this part, how did you know that part?
SPEAKER_00: There's no way.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: You know, you're just like, you don't know.
SPEAKER_00: Social media shame.
SPEAKER_00: Well, this year has been a I think it's been a great year when we look back.
SPEAKER_00: It has 2025 was pretty cool.
SPEAKER_00: It was a good year.
SPEAKER_00: I think 2026 is going to be better.
SPEAKER_00: I I've I'm feeling really good about the new year.
SPEAKER_00: And we had a lot of great memories, a lot of great moments from this last year.
SPEAKER_00: We did.
SPEAKER_00: I felt like I wanted to say this though, when um on a little bit more serious, more personal note for you and I.
SPEAKER_00: We both have a lot of daughters.
SPEAKER_00: I have three daughters and a son, and you have two daughters and a son.
SPEAKER_00: And of course, our goal is to get them all married.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: And we want all of them to have children.
SPEAKER_00: And my um Lauren, our daughter, who was was our last single child, right?
SPEAKER_00: Met somebody and is getting married in April.
SPEAKER_00: And I know it.
SPEAKER_00: It's exciting.
SPEAKER_00: And it's I've had to remind myself over and over again this holiday season that it's the first time because she had never really dated anyone purposely.
SPEAKER_00: She just waited for who God had for her, that she had somebody at the holidays coming to pick her up and they're going shopping and they're buying Christmas presents for each other.
SPEAKER_00: And now, I mean, it's extended, it expanded to the whole family.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: But they're going to be married in in um in April.
SPEAKER_00: And it's just surreal to be at this point of our lives where we're getting ready to face the new year.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And all of them are married.
SPEAKER_00: And actually, Lauren and I were talking last night.
SPEAKER_00: I said, you know, this time next year you could be pregnant with your first child.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And what's so crazy about it, Martha, and the reason I wanted to bring it up is that here we go, another year around the sun.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: And I remember being almost to the point of grieve, grievous.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: That um, again, here we go.
SPEAKER_00: Gabby had somebody, Stephanie was married and two kids.
SPEAKER_00: Chris and Rochelle are married with Marino, and now they're pregnant again.
SPEAKER_00: I know, are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_00: Lauren's gonna be again the lone ranger family.
SPEAKER_00: This is just not fair.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: But God knew the breaking point.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: He knew where the line was, and the timing's perfect.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Because the truth is, her and Gabby are now getting married about four or five months apart, which is what we did.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: And I say this weddings are contagious, but yeah, they are.
SPEAKER_00: I think about that for for your girls, and I think about that for all the single ladies out there and the single young men, not to lose hope looking into 2026 because it didn't happen in 2025.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: Because it still can.
SPEAKER_00: It can.
SPEAKER_00: I feel like, and what the Lord has shown me, who knew this was going to go here?
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
SPEAKER_00: What God is really showing me, and I feel the same thing because I want to see all my kids marry, and I want to see all not only them, there's so many single women and men.
SPEAKER_00: I I want to see families formed and babies, you know, come all of those things.
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I feel like sometimes when it's not happening, of course, look at every situation in your life.
SPEAKER_00: Look at maybe the way you think or your dis your disciplines or whatever.
SPEAKER_00: But a lot of times it hasn't happened yet because you're not at the right level for it to happen.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: And I think, or at the right season, or there's still things that you need to accomplish or you need to shape, or you need to get free of, or you need to change a mindset, or it could just be that your spouse is just not ready yet, your future spouse.
SPEAKER_00: Which is usually the case.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And then you're ready.
SPEAKER_00: So just get ready, stay ready.
SPEAKER_00: And you know, again, I we're we said we're let's not go spiritual.
SPEAKER_00: I can't help it.
SPEAKER_00: I know.
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I taught a message yesterday about um digging ditches, the the scripture from 2 Kings chapter 3, and how three armies of Israel went to go fight Moab, one of the armies, and they were in a clash, and they get out in the middle of the desert and they've wandered for seven days, and now everybody's depleted, everybody's out of water, the horses are parched, dying, exhausted.
SPEAKER_00: All the three armies are like, You brought us out here, God, to kill us.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And now Moab's, we're so weak, Moab's gonna come and take us all.
SPEAKER_00: And Jehoshaphat was one of the kings, and he was the king of Judah.
SPEAKER_00: So think about that.
SPEAKER_00: Judah means praise.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: So they said, We need a word from the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Somebody need, is there a prophet around here?
SPEAKER_00: We're out here seven days.
SPEAKER_00: We're we are about to die.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Like there's no water, there's no more resources, and this is all we wanted to do was defeat our enemy, and now our enemy is going to defeat us.
SPEAKER_00: And Jehoshaphat said, Where is the prophet?
SPEAKER_00: And one of the servants said, Elisha's right here.
SPEAKER_00: He lives in this part, he lives in these parts.
SPEAKER_00: And so three kings went to go meet Elisha, and Elisha saw them and said, What are you doing here?
SPEAKER_00: What do I have owe any of you?
SPEAKER_00: And then, because he didn't like the other two kings, one of them had complained in the wilderness.
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
SPEAKER_00: One was somebody that was just a compromiser, hadn't gotten rid of the, hadn't got rid of the, you know, Baal and the worship of idols.
SPEAKER_00: And so Elisha was salty.
SPEAKER_00: He's like, I'm not, I don't have nothing to say to none of y'all.
SPEAKER_00: What are you doing out here?
SPEAKER_00: Until he saw Jehoshaphat and he said, Because of you, I'll inquire of the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And I think about the praise in the middle of the desert, in your waiting season, when you feel like it's just over.
SPEAKER_00: I don't have anything else to give.
SPEAKER_00: You still have praise.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: And you can't lose that.
SPEAKER_00: And if you're still, if you're in a season where, you know, you're, God, where is it?
SPEAKER_00: 2025 came and went, and it was not what I thought.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: Listen, we we've had many years like that.
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_00: But you can't lose.
SPEAKER_00: No.
SPEAKER_00: That that's where you do.
SPEAKER_00: And one of the whole points about that scripture is that Elisha called for a musician.
SPEAKER_00: Musician came and played.
SPEAKER_00: He wasn't responding to the urgent, chaotic moment.
SPEAKER_00: No.
SPEAKER_00: He didn't say, Let me go get water for y'all of y'all.
SPEAKER_00: Let me make sure your horses are good.
SPEAKER_00: No, he didn't say any of that.
SPEAKER_00: He said, Let me inquire of the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: He was not moved by their urgency.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: And that's where we have to see the part of the Holy Spirit in our lives.
SPEAKER_00: We feel like time is ticking.
SPEAKER_00: But we have to be willing to say, God, I'm going to give you a praise.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Even in the middle of the desert.
SPEAKER_00: And the and Elisha had a word from the Lord, dig ditches, fill this valley full of ditches.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: He didn't say, dig a few, dig some little ones.
SPEAKER_00: No, dig full.
SPEAKER_00: And we know the story.
SPEAKER_00: You can go on and read it in 2 Kings chapter 3.
SPEAKER_00: They dug all night.
SPEAKER_00: Mary, they didn't even have anything to dig with.
SPEAKER_00: They had to use their helmets.
SPEAKER_00: They had to use their picks, whatever they had.
SPEAKER_00: And they dug.
SPEAKER_00: And then once they got finished digging, as the sun was coming up, Elisha said, Now give an offering.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: So there's always something more that God is requiring until the blessing comes.
SPEAKER_00: And then the water filled.
SPEAKER_00: That's a whole message.
SPEAKER_00: The water came, filled it up.
SPEAKER_00: It looked like blood.
SPEAKER_00: Moab ran in thinking he was going to take the armies out.
SPEAKER_00: It was a whole setup.
SPEAKER_00: So God's setting you up.
SPEAKER_00: Well, I think that's the point of that incredible story.
SPEAKER_00: And we could preach our shoes if we wanted to, because we we both have preach in us.
SPEAKER_00: And we preach to our daughters.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: We have preached to our children.
SPEAKER_00: We preach to the women in our lives and the young men in our lives.
SPEAKER_00: Don't get discouraged.
SPEAKER_00: Don't get weary in well-doing.
SPEAKER_00: This season will require you to be strong and do some strong things.
SPEAKER_00: And then those same people that are so desperate to get married and they're mourning and they're crying over it, they get married and they go, wait, what?
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: We talk about that all the time in the studio, Steve and I.
SPEAKER_00: You know, oh, I just am waiting for the perfect man.
SPEAKER_00: The perfect husband is going to come.
SPEAKER_00: My man is coming.
SPEAKER_00: I made a list.
SPEAKER_00: Throw your list away.
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
SPEAKER_00: Throw your list away because God has bigger plans than just getting you married.
SPEAKER_00: Marriage was God's design.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: But He but the point of marriage is just not so you can have somebody.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: God wants to be your somebody.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: And your spouse, we know this.
SPEAKER_00: I I it is so funny to me, Martha.
SPEAKER_00: Now that they're all married, because I think about you all the time and I pray for you in advance.
SPEAKER_00: I'm like storing up intercession for you.
SPEAKER_00: I need it.
SPEAKER_00: The reality is you think, I just want to get my kids married so I can launch them so they don't need me and I don't have this pressure.
SPEAKER_00: Which that is true.
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
SPEAKER_00: It is nice to be able to say, okay, they've got their person, and now, Lord, you but they need you now more than they've ever needed you before.
SPEAKER_00: They've never done this before.
SPEAKER_00: No.
SPEAKER_00: And and you you come to these moments, these beautiful, hilarious, scary sometimes moments with your daughters, where you go, I told you.
SPEAKER_00: You saw you knew this was you knew this was part of marriage, right?
SPEAKER_00: Right, exactly.
SPEAKER_00: You knew it.
SPEAKER_00: And what's wonderful is after about the fifth year of marriage, um, which is where Stephanie and Rochelle are both at, something just happens in a young wife where she it she just resolves to this reality.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, mom told me.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: And you get to this sweet spot with your daughter where she's not freaking out anymore, she's not being um reactive, overly reactive because she realizes marriage is beautiful, but marriage is hard.
SPEAKER_00: It's digging ditches.
SPEAKER_00: Yes, it's and you have to keep digging.
SPEAKER_00: If you're not married, stop keep digging.
SPEAKER_00: If you're not married, keep pursuing God.
SPEAKER_00: You know, this uh week we're hearing a lot about Erica Kirk and Charlie Kirk, and it's all over the news.
SPEAKER_00: It's not even on social media if you're not on Instagram, it doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_00: It's on CBS News Everywhere, on all the news outlets, because it is headline news.
SPEAKER_00: It's being talked about all over the world.
SPEAKER_00: I know.
SPEAKER_00: And there was a um town hall that she did with um uh Barry Weiss.
SPEAKER_00: I can't believe I just remembered that girl's name.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she interviewed her, and one of the studio audience members was a young woman, and she got up and said, I'm from New York, I live here, but I'm a Christian, I want a Christian man.
SPEAKER_00: What do I do?
SPEAKER_00: Um should I move out of New York?
SPEAKER_00: Is it even possible?
SPEAKER_00: And Erica said, Well, listen, listen, I lived in New York when I met Charlie, but I would never have dated him had it not been disguised as a job interview because I had made a commitment to God that I was gonna stay single.
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't going to date or marry anyone.
SPEAKER_00: I saw, she said, I saw all the different ways that my roommate would date, that it was very weird, weird culture in New York.
SPEAKER_00: You go to coffee with somebody, and then afterwards you'd go out for drinks with somebody else, and then after him, you'd go out to dinner with somebody else.
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, what in the world?
SPEAKER_00: So she said, I just decided I'm not doing any of that.
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna stay focused on what I'm doing.
SPEAKER_00: Got a job interview with her future husband.
SPEAKER_00: She married him.
SPEAKER_00: But something that she said that I thought was so powerful, she really laid into what we, you and I believe that there is a purpose in the person that God brings you.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: That you can either just say, I'm single until I find my soulmate.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: What does that even mean?
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: Or I'm single until my purpose and his or her purpose comes into the season that we're supposed to be together to fulfill that purpose in that season.
SPEAKER_00: And I just thought it hit me so hard, Martha.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because we as parents, as mothers, we want to orchestrate our kids' happiness.
SPEAKER_00: We would love to manipulate that.
SPEAKER_00: I could write a great story if God would let me.
SPEAKER_00: I would too.
SPEAKER_00: But now I just see how the Lord will take uh profound things, He will take simple things.
SPEAKER_00: He'll take the story of we met at the gym.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes in our mind, we we just overinflate our expectations rather than just saying, you know, like anything else in our lives, if it's not marriage, then it's gonna be babies.
SPEAKER_00: If it's not babies, then it might be a house.
SPEAKER_00: If it's not a house, it's just the next level of your career, right?
SPEAKER_00: Or where you're gonna live or what's what's next.
SPEAKER_00: You got a long life to live that you don't know as a young person, there's a lot of years ahead of me.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And at some point, you will have to come face to face with the ditch digging.
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
SPEAKER_00: Where God's gonna say, go dig ditches.
SPEAKER_00: It never goes away.
SPEAKER_00: And the reason that you're doing that hard thing is so that he can fill it with water.
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
SPEAKER_00: So that he can restore your soul.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And you are a blessing to people around you.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: So that's why it's it's hard.
SPEAKER_00: I I noticed the other day that Danielle posted and I loved it.
SPEAKER_00: She she posted 2028.
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm sorry, I'm trying to rhyme.
SPEAKER_00: 2026 is gonna be great.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And I said, that's what you do.
SPEAKER_00: You say it until you feel it.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: Because God knows what he has for her.
SPEAKER_00: He knows what he has for Nicole.
SPEAKER_00: He knows he knew what he had for Gabby and for Lauren.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: And he has it.
SPEAKER_00: I don't.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And he has it.
SPEAKER_00: I think we don't.
SPEAKER_00: I know for me, and I I mean, we could tell stories all day, and I we probably should, um, about how we met our husbands and the struggles that we went through with our family.
SPEAKER_00: Our mom and dad were getting divorced right as we're getting married.
SPEAKER_00: People don't always know that.
SPEAKER_00: No, you know, walking trying to build a marriage when the the parents well, let's tell that story.
SPEAKER_00: Well, we Dan and I met, you know, I was I was a teenager.
SPEAKER_00: We were both so young.
SPEAKER_00: I was 16 and he was 21 or 22, and we met and we met in church.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: You were both musicians, both in ministry, music ministry, had the same heart for ministry, had no clue what was ahead of us.
SPEAKER_00: No.
SPEAKER_00: We were just happy to find a church that would let us sing a little bit, and he would play guitar or or uh bass or piano.
SPEAKER_00: And that's how we met.
SPEAKER_00: We met in church and we grew just going to and ministering in our local church.
SPEAKER_00: And but from the moment that we met, our parents were in conflict.
SPEAKER_00: And so thank God I had him.
SPEAKER_00: Like God knew what I needed, right?
SPEAKER_00: And he knew what you needed, right?
SPEAKER_00: As our parents' marriage was falling apart, our family was in chaos.
SPEAKER_00: You know, they see us now, but they don't know.
SPEAKER_00: Like when I think about what my husband married into, a lot of people would have done that.
SPEAKER_00: I'd say that to Steve all the time.
SPEAKER_00: Good Lord, took a chance on me.
SPEAKER_00: Come on, like, yeah, this is a little too uh dysfunctional here.
SPEAKER_00: But you got to tell the story, though, of though, of your wedding reception.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, so remember that?
SPEAKER_00: So my wedding reception, um, a lot of Italians there because my husband was Italian, and my dad, our dad was there, and we got married at Calvary Assembly in Orlando, Florida.
SPEAKER_00: We're right in the same vicinity, right across the street.
SPEAKER_00: They had a high rise for um for senior citizens.
SPEAKER_00: Senior citizens, thank you.
SPEAKER_00: Senior citizens, and they would live there.
SPEAKER_00: Well, my our dad's uh parents lived there in a little tiny little room.
SPEAKER_00: So evidently dad had been crashing there.
SPEAKER_00: I didn't know that being crashing.
SPEAKER_00: Because him and mom were separated, almost divorced.
SPEAKER_00: It was really, it was such an awful time.
SPEAKER_00: And and you know, I look back and I have a I do have a lot more compassion for dad than I've ever had, but uh probably because I'm just further away from it.
SPEAKER_00: But it's just constant conflict, constant conflict.
SPEAKER_00: It was crazy.
SPEAKER_00: I don't know how we got through it, but we did.
SPEAKER_00: But um we go, we we the we had Olive Garden, I think it was.
SPEAKER_00: Yes, you had Olive Garden at your wedding reception.
SPEAKER_00: That's before like catering was a thing.
SPEAKER_00: I remember going, we should have big ziti.
SPEAKER_00: And um because the bread, the uh the breadsticks and the and the salad is included included.
SPEAKER_00: We probably our wedding probably cost about ten thousand dollars and it was if even if even and it was crazy.
SPEAKER_00: We shared a wedding dress, but go ahead.
SPEAKER_00: We did.
SPEAKER_00: And I worked at the flower shop, the the florist import and export right here in Miami.
SPEAKER_00: And I got all my flowers.
SPEAKER_00: Everybody carried like a dozen flowers.
SPEAKER_00: I I carried two dozen roses, I could barely pick it up.
SPEAKER_00: We didn't have a florist, we just snipped them.
SPEAKER_00: We just but I got I did have a florist, but it was crazy.
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, it was a blessing of the Lord that came through in that awful crazy time.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: And the the reception's almost over.
SPEAKER_00: Thank God, Marveline, our beautiful sister, yeah, she's kind of running interference for us.
SPEAKER_00: So here comes the guy with the credit card saying, the credit, the bill saying, hey, we need to settle up for Olive Garden.
SPEAKER_00: For Olive Garden.
SPEAKER_00: And so dad was on the hook for that.
SPEAKER_00: He was supposed to pay for it.
SPEAKER_00: Well, we look around.
SPEAKER_00: Dad had been there.
SPEAKER_00: He'd been at the reception.
SPEAKER_00: He was there, he was eating the food.
SPEAKER_00: He had disappeared.
SPEAKER_00: I know.
SPEAKER_00: Gone.
SPEAKER_00: So we found out this this out later.
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't even, thank God, Marveline seated for all that.
SPEAKER_00: And she told us later that she went to look for him, could not find him, and thought, I know where he is.
SPEAKER_00: Left the reception, ran across the street, was going into the high rise where she knew dad was was crashing in his parents.
SPEAKER_00: The elevator, now she tells it very dramatically.
SPEAKER_00: I choose to believe this is exactly how it happened.
SPEAKER_00: She goes in to push the elevator to go up, the door opens, and there's dad standing with two suitcases.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he was leaving, trying to get out the door.
SPEAKER_00: And she said, Oh, you're not leaving.
SPEAKER_00: You're paying this bill.
SPEAKER_00: And I think he put it on grandma and grandpa's credit card.
SPEAKER_00: He probably did.
SPEAKER_00: But when you think of that and you think, oh, that's terrible to tell that story.
SPEAKER_00: No, it isn't.
SPEAKER_00: That's my story.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: Dad is in heaven, God'll deal with him and has dealt with him.
SPEAKER_00: We forgave him.
SPEAKER_00: It's a funny story now.
SPEAKER_00: But to think that we started our marriage with that kind of toxic drama.
SPEAKER_00: I know, I know.
SPEAKER_00: And we made it.
SPEAKER_00: Now it has not been easy, but I I go back to what you said.
SPEAKER_00: Marriage has an assignment.
SPEAKER_00: It does.
SPEAKER_00: And you don't want it if you're not ready.
SPEAKER_00: If God has not brought it, then you need to say, Lord, I need to get ready for whatever you have.
SPEAKER_00: So I think then it goes back.
SPEAKER_00: If you believe that, then it goes back to the individual that's saying, Oh, I believe that marriage is an assignment.
SPEAKER_00: What is your assignment?
SPEAKER_00: What's your role?
SPEAKER_00: You first have to know what yours, right?
SPEAKER_00: We put so much emphasis on what's the other person going to bring me.
SPEAKER_00: How's the other person going to complete me?
SPEAKER_00: What are they going to do?
SPEAKER_00: Wait a minute.
SPEAKER_00: You need to know what your assignment is.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: And we were with a couple of the young girls that I just absolutely adore, and they're in their 30s.
SPEAKER_00: And Steve and I were there.
SPEAKER_00: We were together recently with them for a little while and chatting and talking.
SPEAKER_00: And these girls are awesome.
SPEAKER_00: I mean, they are they you talk about catch, both of them are just incredible catches.
SPEAKER_00: And like your daughters.
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
SPEAKER_00: And so I've processed this so much more with the young ladies because we've talked about it so much more than Steve has.
SPEAKER_00: And so he had had a long conversation with both of them, and he came into the room later that night and he goes, I'm just so upset.
SPEAKER_00: We got to find two guys for them.
SPEAKER_00: I went, No, we don't.
SPEAKER_00: God's already found two guys for them.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: That is not our job.
SPEAKER_00: No, Mary, you know, we've got to help them.
SPEAKER_00: And I said, You are where I was six months ago.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: But let me tell you something.
SPEAKER_00: God has their spouses.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: But here's what I felt.
SPEAKER_00: And to tell singles as they're going into this next year, maybe feeling I cannot believe.
SPEAKER_00: That I'm going another year and I still haven't met anybody.
SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
SPEAKER_00: Here's the prayer you pray.
SPEAKER_00: And here's, I believe, the process that you go through.
SPEAKER_00: If there's anything in me that's unchecked, that I am not aware of, that I am not healed of.
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
SPEAKER_00: If there's something in my heart, God, that only you know, and maybe I don't even realize that's it, but it would be something that my future spouse would point out, and it would be a bone of contention.
SPEAKER_00: If there's anything in me now that doesn't bring honor and glory to you, which would then in turn keep me from seeing who you have for me.
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
SPEAKER_00: Come on.
SPEAKER_00: Then I'm gonna deal with that.
SPEAKER_00: Lord, show me, reveal it to me.
SPEAKER_00: Is there something in me that isn't healed?
SPEAKER_00: Is there a parent wound that isn't healed?
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: Is there a past boyfriend or girlfriend wound that isn't healed?
SPEAKER_00: You got time.
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
SPEAKER_00: Get your healing.
SPEAKER_00: Get it.
SPEAKER_00: Get your life in order so that when that person does come, you see them.
SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes that young woman, she's just got areas of her life that when a nice young man comes, she won't see him.
SPEAKER_00: She won't see him.
SPEAKER_00: Or he won't see her.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: So that is such a good process in prayer to pray.
SPEAKER_00: It's a phenomenal prayer.
SPEAKER_00: And if you heard her say that, you need to write that prayer down.
SPEAKER_00: Don't just let it go in and one and out the other.
SPEAKER_00: Like go and take this transcript and write that prayer.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: Put it somewhere.
SPEAKER_00: Like, God, show me.
SPEAKER_00: That's what David said.
SPEAKER_00: Create in me a clean heart.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Renew a right spirit.
SPEAKER_00: That should be our heart's desire.
SPEAKER_00: Because you're going to pray when you're married.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Let me just tell you right now, you're going to pray a lot of prayers when you're married.
SPEAKER_00: No, you are.
SPEAKER_00: But you know, we've joke so much about our husbands now.
SPEAKER_00: And in the season, all respectfully.
SPEAKER_00: They joke about us, but all respectfully, because we're we're both married Italians.
SPEAKER_00: And it's so funny uh the pining for a spouse and the pining for a baby, the pining.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And then you get all those things you had to have and you pine for.
SPEAKER_00: And you, you know, you were so mad at God over.
SPEAKER_00: And then you're standing at the drive-thru line at McDonald's.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: And that promise one that you couldn't wait to have, can't even order a number one with no pickles.
SPEAKER_00: And you're sitting there going, Well, I'm gonna this, it's it's McDonald's.
SPEAKER_00: This is an easy order.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And you realize we're all human.
SPEAKER_00: We sometimes we can so overinflate the expectations.
SPEAKER_00: It's so true.
SPEAKER_00: Let's just be real for a minute that that person you marry is gonna get on your nerves like nobody has ever gotten on your nerves.
SPEAKER_00: Not like your sister did, not like your brother did, not like your cousin did.
SPEAKER_00: Your spouse can find that last nerve, the last one.
SPEAKER_00: I know.
SPEAKER_00: And what's funny to me is when I look at things about, you know, when you read now everybody's talking about narcissism.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, everybody.
SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, when I get mad at him, I'm like, that's it's just narcissistic.
SPEAKER_00: That's all it is, just narcissistic.
SPEAKER_00: And so I'll read stuff about narcissism.
SPEAKER_00: And as I'm reading it, I'm like, oh shoot, I do half of these.
SPEAKER_00: That's me.
SPEAKER_00: I say this.
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, I'm a narcissist.
SPEAKER_00: I'm a gaslight.
SPEAKER_00: Tell nobody, tell no one.
SPEAKER_00: I uh it's so true.
SPEAKER_00: And you end up complaining about what you prayed for.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: And if we aren't careful, we're gonna miss out on the biggest thing that God has that He wants to do in us.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: It's not what He wants to do for you, it's what He wants to do in you.
SPEAKER_00: Because, okay, what you well, I'm so glad you brought up Erica Kirk because I think that her story is under attack because there is such an anointing on her life.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's spiritual warfare.
SPEAKER_00: It's spiritual warfare.
SPEAKER_00: It is a hand-to-hand combat that she's in right now.
SPEAKER_00: And I literally pray for her every day.
SPEAKER_00: But you see how marriage and family is being attacked by the enemy.
SPEAKER_00: Anything good, anything clean, it's treated as if it has this scourge on it, or it's a lie, or it's a scam.
SPEAKER_00: To me, that's the sad state of our world that people are allowing their minds to go there.
SPEAKER_00: That's very sad.
SPEAKER_00: That is, uh on one side.
SPEAKER_00: But I think the other day I was thinking about it, and I was just getting so aggravated with what people were saying and that this these things, narratives that they're just making up stuff and implications that are it's it's just as easy to believe that she didn't, that it, that the narrative is pure.
SPEAKER_00: I know, but you'd rather make up something.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: And we better get our we we better get our our my mother would say thinking cap on, but we would, we really ought to get the Holy Spirit on it and make sure we're operating at the highest levels of um, you know, uh hearing God's voice, discernment, discernment and wisdom.
SPEAKER_00: But I it stopped me in my tracks because I literally felt like I heard the Lord say, Don't feel sorry for her.
SPEAKER_00: This is needed for where I'm taking her.
SPEAKER_00: This is this is a type of scrutiny that's all happening so fast, but it's building that spine in her that she's gonna need for where I'm taking her.
SPEAKER_00: And I thought, oh my gosh, I could completely relate to that in my own life.
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00: I don't like the bad moments, I don't like the hard moments, I don't like the press.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I don't like that I'm in the middle of the desert and I'm out of resources and God's going, oh, really?
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Well, I don't even care.
SPEAKER_00: And if you didn't even, you better praise me.
SPEAKER_00: And then how about dig ditches?
SPEAKER_00: And how about give an offering?
SPEAKER_00: There's always more.
SPEAKER_00: I just want you to deliver me from this God.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: And he's saying, No, I put the deliverance inside of you.
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
SPEAKER_00: Give me more.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: Praise me more, dig deeper.
SPEAKER_00: There's more.
SPEAKER_00: Thank God He doesn't leave us where we are.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: And how do you know that every hard season, how do you know 2025 was not a preparation year for what God wants to do in 2026?
SPEAKER_00: And that's so you can either believe conspiracies or you can believe that conspiracies are a lie.
SPEAKER_00: You get to choose what you believe.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: You can either believe that God is for you, or he's not.
SPEAKER_00: That he is either in control of the whole world and everything in it, which means you, your life, your purpose, what he's doing in this season of what feels like neglect and withholding is actually the reverse.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: It's actually the opposite.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: What you think it is in the flesh, it's actually the opposite in the hand of God.
SPEAKER_00: What he's actually doing in your life is the reverse of what you think.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: So you can choose to believe one of those two paths.
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
SPEAKER_00: And you and I have always been, and I being twins is great, and and it's been a blessing because we can sense each other's ups and downs so often.
SPEAKER_00: And I also think with our mom and our older sister, the four of us are very tight, kind of in that nuanced way, because of what we went through, because of the difficulty with dad and that that whole devastation.
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not gonna go down that again, but what I what I think about the power of choosing to believe that God is for me.
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, what does that look like?
SPEAKER_00: And if I'm making a decision, I'm staying there, and I'm not gonna follow the bananas, conspiracy theories from the devil or from the culture that says I'll never have, I'll never attain.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: You you if you believe one lie, you gotta believe them all.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And if you're gonna believe one truth, you gotta believe them all.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: So when it comes to how you're looking at 2026, if there's obstacles in the way, if there's roadblocks in the way, if there's suffering in the way, if there's delay in the way, if if you got to the end of 2025 and again, you're you're not further along in accomplishments.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: What was on your prayer list?
SPEAKER_00: You have it, you've got a fork in the road here.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: To think of it as all right, I get one more year single.
SPEAKER_00: I get one more year without a baby, I get one more year in this circumstance for God to keep doing the full work in me.
SPEAKER_00: Because if he's not finished, then I'm not finished.
SPEAKER_00: So I trust you.
SPEAKER_00: And listen, we say that and we preach that, but we've had to live that, Martha.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_00: I know.
SPEAKER_00: We both have had to live for real for real.
SPEAKER_00: Well, we don't do little things.
SPEAKER_00: No.
SPEAKER_00: And that's what I've told my family members, that my kids, when they get frustrated, I'm like, you guys, not that we're better than anybody or that other people are doing little things.
SPEAKER_00: Everybody does big things, but the things that God's called us to, we plant churches, we do albums, we the things that we do in a year, we do conferences.
SPEAKER_00: I know.
SPEAKER_00: Like we're we're picking the biggest, hardest thing that takes the most effort and the most money that a lot of people maybe they do once in their lifetime.
SPEAKER_00: You know, we're doing three and four times a year.
SPEAKER_00: It's depleting.
SPEAKER_00: You wonder, did I hear God?
SPEAKER_00: Did I get that right?
SPEAKER_00: Did I get that wrong?
SPEAKER_00: But it's all part of the journey.
SPEAKER_00: And it's all part of the process of learning of, okay, I got, I did it.
SPEAKER_00: We did it.
SPEAKER_00: And that's one of the things about looking back on the year and reflecting, that's so important.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's don't look at what you didn't get.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Don't look at what you didn't accomplish.
SPEAKER_00: That's the trick of the enemy.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: It goes back to what you said about choosing.
SPEAKER_00: Are you going to believe the conspiracy theories that the enemy's putting in your head?
SPEAKER_00: Are you going to believe the truth of what God said?
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: And choose to believe it, even if you don't feel it.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: Even if you don't see the way out.
SPEAKER_00: If you don't, even if you don't see the relief from the desert and the dry season, if you don't see it, choose to believe the report of the Lord, as they say, and watch God do greater things in the future.
SPEAKER_00: But he's building something in you.
SPEAKER_00: 2025 was a building year.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: It was a year of putting seed in the ground.
SPEAKER_00: It was a year of believing God.
SPEAKER_00: So go back.
SPEAKER_00: I think I heard a podcaster say this.
SPEAKER_00: I thought it was so good.
SPEAKER_00: Go back to the beginning of the year.
SPEAKER_00: Go through your phone and your photo.
SPEAKER_00: Look at your pictures.
SPEAKER_00: And just remember what did you take a picture of?
SPEAKER_00: And why did you take that picture?
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: Because it was a memory.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: It was a moment.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: It was something.
SPEAKER_00: But no, you made a good point.
SPEAKER_00: Well, they don't have to be good.
SPEAKER_00: But I'm just saying, from the beginning of the year, when you had hope for this year, or that that event you went to, or that trip you took with your family.
SPEAKER_00: And look over because we choose on what we focus on.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, so I'll give you an example.
SPEAKER_00: When we were coming around planning for this Christmas, I started to get that little bit of melancholy.
SPEAKER_00: We should have gone somewhere.
SPEAKER_00: We haven't gone anywhere in a long time.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Should have gone as a family.
SPEAKER_00: And I've not even, it's like the Holy Spirit went, let me pop up your pictures from this time last year.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Let me show you.
SPEAKER_00: And we went to Charleston as a spent a lot of money.
SPEAKER_00: And we had a great time in Charleston.
SPEAKER_00: And I went, oh, ooh, how did that childish thing get in there?
SPEAKER_00: How did that little girl get in there?
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
SPEAKER_00: We've done and that and I did that.
SPEAKER_00: I went back and started looking at my pictures and I thought, well, no wonder I'm so tired.
SPEAKER_00: We've had a very full year.
SPEAKER_00: We've had a lot of things that have gone on.
SPEAKER_00: And I will say that maybe there's people I have friends, you have a sister-in-law that has battled sickness this year.
SPEAKER_00: It's been a very tough thing.
SPEAKER_00: Or they're starting 26 going through treatments and they're they're facing that chemo, yeah, surgery, radiation.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And I have a friend who is at the end of it.
SPEAKER_00: It started in November of 2024 for her, and it just ended last year.
SPEAKER_00: One whole year of battling stage four colon cancer.
SPEAKER_00: And she's through it, and she's on the other side of it.
SPEAKER_00: And if I look at her story as you reflect upon your family member, it's it's enough to give God praise that I'm not going through that struggle personally.
SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_00: So you gotta, you've gotta put things in perspective.
SPEAKER_00: You do.
SPEAKER_00: You have to look at it from a healthy perspective.
SPEAKER_00: And I I I think we do this, you and I do this.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe our mom is the reason we do it, but we compare to people who have it a whole lot worse than we do.
SPEAKER_00: And it helps make our circumstances feel like nothing burgers.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: And that's a that's a healthy state of mind.
SPEAKER_00: When on social media, there's that time investors page that's always sending you.
SPEAKER_00: Research says that you know the middle sister is the one who is the the most help wealthy and healthy.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_00: And then it's the baby sister and whatever.
SPEAKER_00: They keep coming up with all this stuff.
SPEAKER_00: But there are a lot of really good, just practical insights and truths that they come up with.
SPEAKER_00: And more times, nine times out of ten, I will read it and go, our mama taught us that.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: We got that from God's word.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: That's nothing new.
SPEAKER_00: Uh mom told me a story as we were driving down here, and I had forgotten it.
SPEAKER_00: But when she told me it all came back, and I feel like somebody needs to hear the story because it just, it's the choice.
SPEAKER_00: So her and dad were divorced, and dad remarried very quickly, like six days after the ink was not even dry on the divorce papers.
SPEAKER_00: He was remarried.
SPEAKER_00: And um, and I remember hearing that and almost like laughing through my tears, like, are you kidding?
SPEAKER_00: Are you is this a joke?
SPEAKER_00: Dad's already like this, it was such a bizarro out-of-body work.
SPEAKER_00: Who would marry him?
SPEAKER_00: So crazy.
SPEAKER_00: What?
SPEAKER_00: So anyway, he's he, so they got married.
SPEAKER_00: Well, mom, through all that season, she went right to work.
SPEAKER_00: She went to, she had already had her license to sell real estate.
SPEAKER_00: It didn't really go well.
SPEAKER_00: She had a lot of, you know, some good moments, but mostly deals would fall through.
SPEAKER_00: I remember feeling so bad for her.
SPEAKER_00: And so she was, she just ran to the church.
SPEAKER_00: She never left.
SPEAKER_00: Even through all of the disappointment and discouragement and being dropped, like she was.
SPEAKER_00: So she was at Patrick Carl Stevens at Faith Assembly, and she said, I'm gonna, I'll do whatever.
SPEAKER_00: She made$25 a week to play the organ.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And they had an amazing church.
SPEAKER_00: The church is still there doing great.
SPEAKER_00: Choir, singing, orchestra.
SPEAKER_00: And so she just said, I'm throwing myself into this.
SPEAKER_00: And it was the first Christmas that she put on like a big cantata, yeah, is what they called it with choir, with orchestra, whatever.
SPEAKER_00: So she they had all these rehearsals.
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna remember when I say it.
SPEAKER_00: All these rehearsals.
SPEAKER_00: She was excited.
SPEAKER_00: It was she worked with the other worship pastor that was there.
SPEAKER_00: He was a lot younger, and they had really connected and just a great team.
SPEAKER_00: And she was very close to Pastor Carl.
SPEAKER_00: And Sunday morning comes, and one of the worship pastors comes running back in the back office and says, Faith, Faith, oh my gosh, your ex-husband and his new wife are in the audience and they're on the second row.
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
SPEAKER_00: And she was like, What?
SPEAKER_00: And he said, I don't know what to tell you.
SPEAKER_00: I can't even believe this.
SPEAKER_00: And so then Pastor Carl comes running in.
SPEAKER_00: Faith, you you don't have to do this.
SPEAKER_00: You can just go home.
SPEAKER_00: We've got this.
SPEAKER_00: Just go home.
SPEAKER_00: I would never want you to go.
SPEAKER_00: I don't want to put you through this.
SPEAKER_00: Oh Lord.
SPEAKER_00: You've got it.
SPEAKER_00: This is all still so new and so fresh.
SPEAKER_00: It was so toxic the way it ended and so hard on you.
SPEAKER_00: No, I I just go home, Faith.
SPEAKER_00: Don't even put yourself through this.
SPEAKER_00: And she said, I reared back after he said, Go home.
SPEAKER_00: And she said, I'm not going home.
SPEAKER_00: Are you kidding?
SPEAKER_00: I'm going out.
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to shine.
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
SPEAKER_00: She said, I got up there.
SPEAKER_00: I was conducting that choir.
SPEAKER_00: She said, I conducted with every bit.
SPEAKER_00: I was lifting my hands.
SPEAKER_00: I was swinging my hands.
SPEAKER_00: And then she went over and played the piano.
SPEAKER_00: She said, I even played even more on higher.
SPEAKER_00: Like I was, I was giving it all the extras I could.
SPEAKER_00: Does she remember what she was wearing?
SPEAKER_00: Because she always seems to remember the outfit she had on.
SPEAKER_00: I didn't ask her.
SPEAKER_00: I should have.
SPEAKER_00: It's probably something in white.
SPEAKER_00: A white leather angel.
SPEAKER_00: White leather.
SPEAKER_00: And she just said, Oh, I was not gonna be, you're not gonna take me down like that.
SPEAKER_00: And I just now this is before mom met Bud.
SPEAKER_00: She's single.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: She has no real job.
SPEAKER_00: Her life was ripped from her.
SPEAKER_00: Ripped.
SPEAKER_00: Shockingly.
SPEAKER_00: None of us saw it coming.
SPEAKER_00: No.
SPEAKER_00: We we were as shocked as you can be shocked.
SPEAKER_00: And so mean.
SPEAKER_00: And he was so mean.
SPEAKER_00: And it was so mean.
SPEAKER_00: And the devil was so mean.
SPEAKER_00: I know.
SPEAKER_00: And honestly, that's why, again, we go back to Erica Kirk.
SPEAKER_00: That's why I have so much compassion for her.
SPEAKER_00: Because you see the demonic attack on her life.
SPEAKER_00: And it's through, it's through her that he's trying to get to the rest of the nation.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: It's through her.
SPEAKER_00: So, but he's not gonna, he's not gonna win.
SPEAKER_00: He's defeated.
SPEAKER_00: But her, but mom's resolve, her decision, her choice to say, oh no, no, no.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
SPEAKER_00: I will, I will get out there in the presence of my enemies.
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
SPEAKER_00: He has set a table for me.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: And it was the decision.
SPEAKER_00: I think a lot of people would have, they would have crumbled, would I have to get out of it?
SPEAKER_00: And we we would have turned into a you know a snivelling mess and wreck and gone at the first sign.
SPEAKER_00: Mother, where is what does where does that come from?
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
SPEAKER_00: That not only am I gonna go out, she could have said, I'm gonna stay in church and sit in the balcony.
SPEAKER_00: No, she got up in front of everybody, 2,000 people.
SPEAKER_00: Yes, it was a huge church, yes, said no, I'm not backing down.
SPEAKER_00: I and and what's 43, 44 at the time?
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, good Lord.
SPEAKER_00: But that's the choice.
SPEAKER_00: I know.
SPEAKER_00: We make a choice at the end of the day to keep digging.
SPEAKER_00: And we're it's we can we can go deeper than we think.
SPEAKER_00: We certainly can.
SPEAKER_00: I think there's single women out there, you can take more than you think you can.
SPEAKER_00: You're you're not to no God You're not at a breaking point yet.
SPEAKER_00: You'll know, and God will not ever let you get to that point.
SPEAKER_00: And God's like, I love you enough to let you go through this really, really, really tough, hard season.
SPEAKER_00: Yes, because the man I'm gonna you're gonna marry needs a very strong person.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: And you know, okay.
SPEAKER_00: I'm not correcting you, I'm adding to what you're saying.
SPEAKER_00: You can correct me.
SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_00: It's I am seeing something about this whole situation.
SPEAKER_00: It's not God's doing this in me because of this other person.
SPEAKER_00: Okay, God's doing it in you because of him.
SPEAKER_00: He's making the change because of what his desire is for you as a person.
SPEAKER_00: We make it so much about God's gonna get me in order.
SPEAKER_00: I gotta get God's gonna do this in me so that I can be ready for this person.
SPEAKER_00: All right, well, I hope he's doing the same thing in this other person.
SPEAKER_00: That's true.
SPEAKER_00: Because the point is for my life to bring glory to God.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: So he's doing the work.
SPEAKER_00: He did it in Lauren, he's doing it in uh Danielle and Nicole and all of our children, because marriage isn't the stopping point.
SPEAKER_00: No, they gotta stay married.
SPEAKER_00: I know.
SPEAKER_00: So God's got to do the work in us because he's requiring us to change.
SPEAKER_00: Yes, he's doing a work in me without reward just because it's the better way to live.
SPEAKER_00: Because that's how much he loves me.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's what he wants to see for me.
SPEAKER_00: That's the relationship I have with him, that's the purpose and the destiny he has on my life.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, not I'm gonna get married just right so that Steve can come.
SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
SPEAKER_00: Where does God operate like that ever?
SPEAKER_00: No, it's about you, it's about me.
SPEAKER_00: God is interested and concerned about my life.
SPEAKER_00: We say this all the time.
SPEAKER_00: When I die, I am not gonna stand up there next to Steve.
SPEAKER_00: That's true.
SPEAKER_00: And God say, What did you do, Mary?
SPEAKER_00: And I go, Well, I wanted to do more, but my husband wouldn't let me.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: That he'd be like, who?
SPEAKER_00: Say, What?
SPEAKER_00: I called you.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: I spoke to you.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: You know what I told you.
SPEAKER_00: You know the purposes and the destiny that I gave you glimpses of.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And you forfeited it because you didn't believe.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: You can't blame this other person.
SPEAKER_00: He'll stand up here all by himself.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: And he'll give an account, just like our children will, just like all of us will.
SPEAKER_00: And I think that is the kind of the little bit of a shift we have to do in our thinking, whether it's for spouses, whether it's for having children, whether it's for that next job, that somehow God's doing something in me because he's preparing me for someone else.
SPEAKER_00: So then you become, then you could easily become everything that other person needs.
SPEAKER_00: And so then now everything that you do is based on them instead of remembering you are still an individual in a marriage.
SPEAKER_00: And God's doing the work in me so that my life will bring glory to him.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And as I marry someone who has that same mindset and is receiving that from the Holy Spirit as well, then our union brings glory and honor to him.
SPEAKER_00: Because you and I both know, but you and I both know our husbands married baby girls.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: What did Steve do to deserve me?
SPEAKER_00: Hey, you know what?
SPEAKER_00: I'm serious.
SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
SPEAKER_00: You're right.
SPEAKER_00: God doesn't change his patterns.
SPEAKER_00: No.
SPEAKER_00: So why is he changing that now?
SPEAKER_00: What we complicate that and we think, well, God's not doing it.
SPEAKER_00: He's not brought me my spouse yet because there's still something that, you know, I've got to fix.
SPEAKER_00: I and I'm saying this, Martha, because that has been my faulty belief.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: And I'm realizing that that doesn't set you free.
SPEAKER_00: Because you you'll never know, well, when is God finished?
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: Is he done?
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: Is there something else that I'm not because I'm I'm single another year?
SPEAKER_00: So evidently there's something that God is, as if God is just some far-off teasing with a big checklist.
SPEAKER_00: Well, you just you didn't get to nine yet.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: You missed it.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: No, wrong.
SPEAKER_00: You you know, right?
SPEAKER_00: That's not God.
SPEAKER_00: He wants us to settle in on the truth that he is your father.
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
SPEAKER_00: That he is your husband, that he loves you.
SPEAKER_00: And when he is good and gracious, and there is a season of waiting, it's because he's doing something so amazing for you.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: But it starts in you.
SPEAKER_00: And when he reveals it, it is so incre it blows your mind.
SPEAKER_00: Now, I go back to the thing we said at the beginning of this podcast.
SPEAKER_00: You can either believe that.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Or you don't.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: But I can tell you what happens when you do.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: God gets all the glory and all the honor.
SPEAKER_00: Because just like Sarah, she laughed.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: Laughed.
SPEAKER_00: And God still gave her a baby.
SPEAKER_00: He sure did.
SPEAKER_00: And she lied.
SPEAKER_00: She laughed and loved.
SPEAKER_00: She laughed and lied.
SPEAKER_00: And God still gave her a legacy.
SPEAKER_00: He sure did.
SPEAKER_00: Look at us.
SPEAKER_00: And screwed it up.
SPEAKER_00: Come on.
SPEAKER_00: And put her hand on it.
SPEAKER_00: She was a loser.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Poor Sarah.
SPEAKER_00: But that was that mindset that she that she had to break off that the the picture that God had and the purposes that God had far exceeded her lifespan.
SPEAKER_00: And but it's it's so true.
SPEAKER_00: I mean, the miracle that she was way past childbirth ability, way beyond it.
SPEAKER_00: And God was saying, I didn't make you wait.
SPEAKER_00: I was working on a miracle.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: And what I think it's true, it's a it's really a minor tweak.
SPEAKER_00: It's like a half truth.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: It's true, but it's incomplete.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: You know, it and I think that's where we can, when we start striving and we start getting frustrated and we start passing out and we're irritated.
SPEAKER_00: I know it.
SPEAKER_00: That's when we're leaning more into the part of the thing that we believe is not true.
SPEAKER_00: That God loves us just like we are.
SPEAKER_00: He loves you single.
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
SPEAKER_00: He loves you married.
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
SPEAKER_00: He loves you with no kids, with kids.
SPEAKER_00: He has a plan for you and for your life.
SPEAKER_00: And the whole goal is living every day to please him, to serve him, to get to know him.
SPEAKER_00: Get to know him and know his character.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: He is not for anything.
SPEAKER_00: No.
SPEAKER_00: But be but knowing, okay, there's there's reward coming.
SPEAKER_00: The Bible says that.
SPEAKER_00: He's a rewarder of those who seek him.
SPEAKER_00: But what happens is if when what I start to focus on the reward, then I kind of bring it down to my natural ability to see it, the reward that I want.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
SPEAKER_00: If that doesn't happen, then I'm disappointed.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: Instead of saying, God, you are the rewarder of those.
SPEAKER_00: God just says, dig.
SPEAKER_00: He he just says obey.
SPEAKER_00: I'll I'll make sure the water flows.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: But you have to dig.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: And I think what does that mean?
SPEAKER_00: Spending more time with God.
SPEAKER_00: Spending more time in joy.
SPEAKER_00: Spending more time enjoying.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: You know, being intentional about that and saying, God, you know what?
SPEAKER_00: You are the rewarder.
SPEAKER_00: I don't need to come up with a reward.
SPEAKER_00: And he is the reward.
SPEAKER_00: He is.
SPEAKER_00: That's that's right.
SPEAKER_00: During this season of infertility that I went through, I can tell you this 100%.
SPEAKER_00: The other day, Stephanie said to me, she was actually saying it to her brother.
SPEAKER_00: She goes, Chris, I want you to think right now, mom and dad had you, and they were still struggling to have me.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And had mom had to go through a surgery.
SPEAKER_00: And she started crying when she told me.
SPEAKER_00: That's true.
SPEAKER_00: And it touched me that it touched her so much.
SPEAKER_00: She was like, I can't imagine, I can't imagine.
SPEAKER_00: Because she had her babies back to back.
SPEAKER_00: And um, and I looked at her with her tears in her eyes, and I thought, I'm so glad that you're so tender and sensitive that you can feel it now, right?
SPEAKER_00: You can feel it when I used to tell the story.
SPEAKER_00: But don't feel sorry for me.
SPEAKER_00: That was the greatest season of my life.
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
SPEAKER_00: Had I not gone through that season of infertility, I would not know who God is in the way that I got to know God.
SPEAKER_00: If I never had a problem, I wouldn't know that God could solve it.
SPEAKER_00: Come on.
SPEAKER_00: Come on now.
SPEAKER_00: It's through it's really true.
SPEAKER_00: I think that's the thing.
SPEAKER_00: Getting through the hard seasons and letting God do a perfect work in your life and developing you.
SPEAKER_00: I mean, my sister-in-law who was diagnosed with breast cancer, I looked at her and I said, I'm telling you right now, God is going to release the greatest anointing.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: If you'll let him do it, there's a greater anointing that will be released when you go through hardships, when you go through trials.
SPEAKER_00: And that's the beauty, that's the reward of it.
SPEAKER_00: We don't like it, we wouldn't choose it.
SPEAKER_00: Is that a chapter I would have written?
SPEAKER_00: But you know what?
SPEAKER_00: In spite of all of it, something great.
SPEAKER_00: And 2026, yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Well, you're gonna have some good times, it's gonna have some bad times.
SPEAKER_00: But we're calling this uh as our at our church the year of the year of the harvest.
SPEAKER_00: And when I heard Steve say that, I went, okay, but my harvest is already in.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: But that means there's more.
SPEAKER_00: There's more.
SPEAKER_00: And that's what people have to look at 2026 as being a year for more.
SPEAKER_00: And when you don't think you can handle more, pray the prayer, Lord, expand my capacity to receive.
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
SPEAKER_00: Because we've got more podcasts coming up.
SPEAKER_00: We've got a lot more conversations we're gonna have.
SPEAKER_00: I know.
SPEAKER_00: So we hope people stick around this year.
SPEAKER_00: Well, I encourage people don't just dig your ditches with a little tiny thimble cup.
SPEAKER_00: Get a shovel out.
SPEAKER_00: That's good.
SPEAKER_00: And it's shovel-sized faith.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, dig deep, dig ditches going into the new year.
SPEAKER_00: Don't, you know, even if there's a day left in this year, use it.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: Use it to write vision down, to get in the presence of God.
SPEAKER_00: Lord, what do you have for me?
SPEAKER_00: Get ready for God to do something for us.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, get focused.
SPEAKER_00: I'm spending the last 10 days, I have spent more time.
SPEAKER_00: Dan and I both have spent more time just listening to podcasts, listening to teaching, listening to expanding our vision, expanding what God can do in the future.
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's like feeding our faith.
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00: You don't have time to sit and sulk over what you don't have when your vision and your eyes are set on, God, what are you doing?
SPEAKER_00: What do you want to do in me?
SPEAKER_00: What have I not laid down?
SPEAKER_00: What where can I dig?
SPEAKER_00: What's bigger?
SPEAKER_00: What have I laid?
SPEAKER_00: Well, where's an area that I haven't really been obedient to you?
SPEAKER_00: That takes spending time in the presence of the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it does.
SPEAKER_00: And then he reveals it and you say, all right, let's go.
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
SPEAKER_00: And then greater vision comes, and then it then you start realizing this is going to be a great year.
SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't matter that everything that was on my list didn't happen.
SPEAKER_00: What God wanted to happen happened.
SPEAKER_00: And so that just means what's on my list is coming with an even bigger harvest.
SPEAKER_00: And that's that's got to be our same.
SPEAKER_00: Our attitude and our heart.
SPEAKER_00: And um, you know, we want our listeners to tell us what else they want us to talk about.
SPEAKER_00: Because we can, you know, we're inspirational, we're motivational, we're worshipers, we're singers, we're songwriters.
SPEAKER_00: I want to work on a song.
SPEAKER_00: I want to just throw this out and then we're gonna finish this podcast.
SPEAKER_00: But I want to work on a song about faith that I'm not, I don't want to, I don't want a faith.
SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm not gonna have a hold my breath faith that I'm holding my breath.
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm exhaling, I'm not wringing my hands, right?
SPEAKER_00: I'm trusting God for what he has.
SPEAKER_00: And I want to have a bold faith.
SPEAKER_00: It'd be like mom that gets up there with her cute little white skirt on and goes, no way I'm gonna, in the presence of my enemies.
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm that I'm not gonna feel bad about being in the same room.
SPEAKER_00: Very good, feel bad about being in the same room with me.
SPEAKER_00: And if you miss that, you got to go back to the rest of the podcast and hear all that.
SPEAKER_00: Well, guys, thank you for listening again.
SPEAKER_00: This was fun.
SPEAKER_00: We've we got a lot more to say, sister.
SPEAKER_00: We sure do.
SPEAKER_00: Let's keep going.
SPEAKER_00: Let's go.